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A04821 Hallelu-iah: praise yee the Lord, for the vnburthening of a loaden conscience By his grace is Iesus Christ vouchsafed vnto the worst sinner of all the whole world. Kilby, Richard, d. 1617. 1618 (1618) STC 14955; ESTC S106533 55,442 148

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What was the reason that when a woman said vnto Christ Luk. 11.27 Blessed is the wombe that bare thee and the pappes which thou hast sucked I say what was the reason that our Lord made her this answer 28. Yea rather blessed are they that heare the word of God and keepe it I say againe why did he say so if it be better for people not to heare then to heare Gods word By the way bee it remembred that the Sonne of God saith It is a blessednes to heare Gods word and the Pope who taketh vpon him to be the deputie of the sonne of God he saith it is not a blessednes he forbiddeth it If any vnderstanding conscionable Romane catholike were betweene God and his owne soule to tell what he thinketh to be the maine cause why the Pope doth not allow Gods word to be commonly bought and sold in Italie Spaine c. and so to bee read in churches my conscience giueth me that he would say thus It is very likely that thereby many would bee drawne from his obedience and many things which are nowe in great request among the people should then bee despised As surely as the Lord God liueth I take this to be the main cause A great number of things in that religion could by no means stand if the book of God were commonly to bee had in the peoples owne language Therefore they are not suffered to heare God speake I appeale to the conscience of euery man whether it be likly that those things which are of God shall bee put out of request by the word of God It is not likely it is quite contrary I doe most humblie intreat all English men and women I entreat them in the sight of our Lord Iesus Christ that they will forbeare to beleeue the Romane religion vntill it haue Gods word and church-seruice read and said in peoples owne languages When you come to publike seruice call it masse or what you will are you not of the company that there ought to ioine in praier vnto God why then is not your prayer in your owne tongue why is it in Latine Let any man answer as I aske the question in the feare of God what reason is there that people should pray or ioine with any praying in a language which they vnderstand not Is it not much to be feared that Satan the Prince of darkenes hath a strong hand in this to keep poore people in blindnesse and ignorance I haue vpon my conscience and in charity without any thought of personall reproch vnto any one made bold to say thus much If any in zeale of that religion haue a minde to say so much yea tenne times so much to mee let him speake in the feare of God and in charitie and spare not Or if he list to flie vpon me with words of choller I will ioyne with him to say much more against my selfe then he can and yet leaue him to iudge himselfe without me When I am minded to reade any part of Gods booke I must kneele downe before the face of God and pray thus O most gracious and merciful Lord God thou hast of thy great goodnesse vouchsafed to giue vnto me thine holy Bible which is able to make me wise vnto saluation I do humbly thanke thee for it and heartily I beseech thy blessed Maiestie to giue me the grace that I may feruently reade it rightly vnderstand it and diligenty marke it thorough Iesus Christ thine onely Sonne my Lord and Sauiour Amen Besides the meanes and helpes to vnderstand the Scriptures as the proportion of Religion contained in the creed and commandements the circumstances of each seueral place and the comparing of one place with other places reading of expositions and hearing other mens iudgements our Sauiour giueth a very notable direction for the attainement of speciall aide from the spirit of God and it is a ready way for a man to come to the knowledge of the truth touching any necessarie point in controuersie And this it is To the Iewes doubting whether Christs doctrin were of God yea or no hee said If any man will doe the will of God he shall knowe of the doctrine whether it bee of God or whether I speake of my selfe Ioh. 7.17 The conscionable practise of those duties which are very plainely set downe in Gods word will in and through Iesus Christ be a meanes to procure vnto vs a gracious and comfortable inlightning of our minds to vnderstand the minde and meaning of God in his word daily more more for the secret of the Lord is with them that feare him and he will shew them his couenant Psal 25.14 If I come to a place of Scripture hard to bee vnderstood I will marke it and so stay my selfe in hope of grace from God at his good pleasure Reading any part of Scripture very leasurely and heedfully I must endeauour to take speciall knowledge of some principall notable points and then commend them vnto the blessing of God thus O most mightie and mercifull Lord God I do most humbly and heartily thanke thee for that thou hast made me in reading this part of thy Bible to vnderstand and mark this this c. I beseech thee that if I haue mistakē any thing I may haue grace to see mine error and to leaue it I beseech thee that those things which I haue rightly vnderstood I may well remember and as neede shall require profitably vse to thy good pleasure and glory in benefiting my selfe and others through Iesus Christ thy onely Sonne my Lord and Sauiour To whome with thee O Father and with the holy Ghost three persons and one onely good Lord God be all praise honour and glorie for euermore Amen Thus much of Gods word And God spake all these words saying Hee that made one commaundement made all the rest therefore I must not presume to breake any one of them but if I will not bee confounded I must vprightly intend and carefully endeauour to bee obedient vnto all the commandements of God Psal 119.6 Exod. 20.2 I am the Lord c. This word Lord in the Iewes language is called Iehouah and signifieth such a one as is of himselfe and giueth beeing vnto all things else specially vnto his own promises which hee most faithfully and powerfully performeth in due time This wonderfull Lord is thoroughly knowne of none but himselfe yet vnder his gracious correction I do thus conceiue of him The Lord Iehouah is a spirit single durable vnmeasurable mightie wise holy blessed and glorious God is a spirit Ioh. 4.24 A spirit hath not flesh and bones Luk. 24.39 Then how is man saide to hee like vnto God In the nature and properties of the soule Why doth the Bible sometimes speake of God as if he had eies eares hands c. It speaketh according to our capacitie because God would haue vs to be plainely and fully perswaded that he hath sight hearing knowledge power
way sufficient for thee Most holy Lord this I verily beleeue therfore in the name of Iesus Christ hencefoorth I will wholly endeauour to please thee Amen The last day of Iulie beeing Sabbath though I was sore tormented I had no remedy but needs must preach my selfe for neither was I prouided of any supply and a Churchwarden came to tell me the parish tooke it in displeasure that I my selfe performed not my dutie That day I preached twise to the great hurt of my body which appeared by many little shreads of skinne which came from me in my water Monday the first of August such a drousie windie weakenes hung vpon me specially in my breast and head that many times I was ready to fall and had much adoe to stand a painfull sleepines was stil comming vpon mee whether I did read or write Monday night I beeing in bed and fallen into a slumber I was so strangely taken as neuer before Some thing seemed to be vpon my backe so to presse me downe that my face was held hard to the pillowe and much winde brake out at the right eare Being very troublously waked I called vpon my good Lord for mercy I perceiued a shiuering windines offering to arise out of my thighes I tooke this by ouerforcing my selfe in preaching vpon the Sabbath day if I be not much deceiued It pleased God that afterward I had some quiet rest but towards morning the cruel strangury came vpon me Alas that there is no remedy for such a filthy tormenting disease a Physitian writing vnto me among other words said thus Know that your disease is incurable The seauenth of August being Sabbath my disease still tormenting me I prayed and vowed thus O most holy and righteous good and gracious Lord God I the most foule and filthy sinner of all the world do here make a complaint of my selfe vnto thy glorious and blessed maiesty that I am not fit to liue in thy sight much lesse to serue thee in the gospel of thy Sonne because I do not walk with thee nor keep my selfe in thy companie as thy seruants doe O be mercifull vnto me I beseech thee I haue heretofore made many vowes that I would enforce my selfe to waite vpon thee But woe is me I haue not kept them now I most humbly pray thee that all my former vowes may be shut vp in this which I am minded to make vnto thee And this it is This day two seuerall preachers will supply my place I beseech thee to blesse them with holy matter hallowed affections powerfull vtterance good successe If I do not from this day forward very conscionably endeauour to hold my selfe to the practise of my foure Rules I wil the next Sabbath day quite put my selfe out of the ministerie yea and openly professe vnto the world that therefore I doe it because my conscience doth certainly iudge mee not to bee fit to preach the Gospell Good Lord this is my vowe If I either reforme my selfe from this day forward or for default thereof leaue the ministerie I breake not my vow If I do neither the one nor the other let me be euerlastingly ●●rsaken of Iesus Christ If I conscionably reform my selfe by thy grace and so continue with thy fauour in the ministerie O that thou wilt be mercifull vnto me touching this horrible disease Then shall I holily and wholly betake my selfe to serue thee as mine hearts desire is to doe If I reforme not my selfe and therefore as my vow requireth leaue the ministerie I aske no more but the destruction of my sin to thy good pleasure and glorie Now blessed Lord I offer vp this vowe vnto thee for an euerlasting deed and thereunto vnchangeably say Amen Be it neuer changed but euer in force betweene thy blessed Maiestie and me Amen That day some came vnto me and what with one matter what with an other caused me to talke at randome as though I had not been in the companie of God When they were gone I cryed God mercy promised to be more mindefull of his presence and fearefull of his displeasure At night some came to me againe and talking of many things mooued me to passe my bounds but not so much as before yet all this while I was not entred into my vowed practise This I did fully perswade my selfe that if I could in companie be mindfull of God and shunne the displeasing of his maiestie I were in a verie faire forwardnes of reformation Mondaie the eight of August I held my selfe vnto my prayers and businesse carefully thinking how I should avoid the great danger of companie and talking I prayed vnto the Lord thus O good Lord thou seest that my disposition is hardened in sinne and most vntoward vnto thy seruice Thou seest also how apt other folke are to further mine vntowardnesse to hinder my repentance I beseech thee that for thine only Sonnes sake thou wilt powerfully breake me from mine vntowardnes prepare me in thy feare to shunne the manifold wickednesse which is one way or another caused by companying and talking Blessed Lord true it is as I take harme by others so they take harm by me for thy mercies sake be mercifull vnto vs and keepe vs from causing any harme one to another Amen Aman. Betweene tenne and eleuen of the clock there came some vnto me about a matter of vnkindnes between certain parties which had not then been called into question if I had concealed a report which in writing was giuen vnto me and which I was verie confidently willed to shewe vnto whome I would It is likely that many an one would haue thought himselfe well warranted to shew it specially if it had concerned him so neerely as it did me I shewed it not but onely told a certaine part of it which caused the comming of those men vnto me After that we had talked of the businesse and they were gone I confessed and prayed thus vnto God O most gracious Lord I did euill in receiuing that paper and worse in speaking of any thing written in it I beseech thee to pardon me and to giue grace that I may neuer hereafter speake any thing of that matter but onely my bounden thanks praise vnto thee through Iesus Christ thy Sonne my Lord and Sauiour Amen In the afternoone vpon occasion I praied thus O most gracious Lord thou seest that by thy goodnesse I goe not out to seeke company I perceiue it is great folly so to doe If any come vnto me and enter into friuolous talke I cannot tell what I should doe Thy spirit saith that in the multitude of words there wanteth not sinne Pro. 10.19 And what great losse of precious time commeth vnto men by vaine idle communication I know by experiēce to my great griefe Most mercifull Lord thou hauing brought me thus farre and broken me from seeking companie from ioyning in emptie words vouchsafe to magnifie thy mercy in making me to preuaile against this impediment