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A54514 The tales and jests of Mr. Hugh Peters collected into one volume / published by one that hath formerly been conversant with the author in his life time ... ; together with his sentence and the manner of his execution. Peters, Hugh, 1598-1660.; S. D., One that hath formerly been conversant with the author in his life time. 1660 (1660) Wing P1721; ESTC R19180 17,396 40

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bountiful of his complements and congees whereupon quoth he well said honest friend it is a good sign that thou will never break thou dost bend so much How Mr. Peters reproved a young Schollar Mr. Peters hearing of some boystrous exercises used on the Sabbath day and that a young Scholar whom he knew was frequently at cudgel-playing with the rest he sends for this Schollar and told him how it suited not with his profession to use such an exercise especially on such a day and if he did not leave it he would cause him to be ordered Good Sir replyed the Scholar do not mistake me for I do it on purpose to edifie the ruder sort of the people How so said Mr. Peters Marry Sir said the Scholar what in the morning and evening they have learned I soundly beat into their heads at cudgels for their better remembrance How Mr. Peters made an Asse of a Gentleman Talking with a Gentleman that was rich and merry the Gentleman said he had read a book called Lucius Apuleius or the golden Asse and that he found there that Apuleius after he had been many years an Asse by eating of roses did recover his humane shape again Mr. Peters thereupon replies Sir if I were worthy to advise you I would give you counsel to eat a sallad of roses once a week at least your self How Mr. Peters saved his Licence Mr. Peters talking with some honest Country men about the affairs of his parish and happening to have his Licence in his hand one of his Company seeing it desires to look well on it but perceiving it was in Latine saith he O I understand not Latine but perhaps I may pick out a word or two No by no means cryed Mr. Peters I would not have my Licence picked lest it should be spoyled How Mr. Peters gave judgment of a Cholerick Gentleman There was a Gentleman of a very hasty disposition so that he would fret and quarrel perpetually and withal was a great Tobacco-Taker This Gentleman in his anger beat and kickt his man extremely insomuch that the fellow ran away and Mr. Peters being an acquaintance of his Masters he repairs to him willing him to advise his Master to be more patient Mr. Peters said he would but saith he so must you for you know his conditions for my part I think he is transformed into Brawne for he is all choller and he supposed the reason of his Kicking was only because he took Colts-foot in Tobacco How Mr. Peters extolled the Army under Oliver It being ordered that Friday December the 22.1648 should be set a part for fasting it was likewise ordered that Mr. Peters should preach on that day as accordingly he did without any more Audience then 4. Lords and 20. Commons The subject of his Sermon was That of Moses his leading the Israelites out of Egypt which he applyed to the then Leaders of the Army but how quoth Hugh shall the people in our dayes be led from their captivitie That said he you shall know anon then clapping his hands before his eyes he leaned on his cushion for a while and suddenly starting up saith he I le tell you no more then hath been revealed to me There is no way out of Aegypt but by rooting up of Monarchy And this Army must do it This Army is the stone spoken of cut out of the Mountain which must dash the powers of the earth in pieces But some object that the way we walk is without president alas we must act without and beyond Presidents are not many things in scripture without president What think you of the Virgin Mary was there ever any president that a Virgin should conceive I tell you no And this our Army hath done and shall do such glorious things as former ages never expected the present doth admire and the future will not believe How Mr. Peters visited the Earle of Pembroke M. Peters taking an occasion to visit the E. of Pembroke he salutes his Honour in this manner My Lord I am come to see you and intend to dine with you and because you should not want company I have brought one of the 7 deadly sins along with me viz. Col. ●ride and have brought the Devil too Col. Dragon at which jest they all laughed and were well pleased How Mr. Peters wished his Auditory to beware of 3 W s. Mr. Peters preaching in a country Village exhorted his Congregation in this manner Beware beloved of three mischievous W s. Wine Women and Tobacco but you will object Tobacco is no W. to which I answer Tobacco must be understood under the notion of a Weed and then it holds right How Mr. Peters called his hearers fools Mr. Peters preaching in a strange place and having some information that the people suited not with his judgement Took this portion of Scripture for his Text O ye fools when will ye be wise which Text saith he admits of no divisions for divide O from Ye I cannot or Yee from Fools O ye Fools that I am sure of for you are such when will ye be wise that the Lord above knows for I am sure I do not nor ever shall How Mr. Peters took an affront on the Exchange Mr. Peters walking at full Change time on the Royal Exchange a certain person comes to him and whispering him in the ear sayes to him Mr. Peters you are a Knave or else you had never gaind so much wealth as you have Say you so said he marry if you were not a fool you would be a Knave too How Mr. Peters said he knew where his Majestie was Mr. Peters was once heard to say that he knew where his Majesty was and being desired to tell said in Bedlam sure enough for unlesse he be mad he will not be in England How Mr. Peters enveighed against Citizens wives Preaching in London he exclaimed greatly against the Citizens wives your City Mistresses saith he must have their lap-dogs to play with all day long for want of children and if by chance he lets fly an uncivil blast then out ye foisting cur O how he stinks immediately after he leaps into their lap again and to bed perhaps they both march together and the happy cur is laid to snug where many an honest man would be with all his heart How M. Peters jeer'd a rich man and his fat wife Mr. Peters being invited to dinner to a friends house Knowing him to be very wealthy and his wife as fat as he was rich brake this jest at Table before them Truly Sir said he you have the world and the flesh but pray God you get not the Devil in the end How Mr. Peters said he had been in Heaven Another time he told his Auditory he had been in Heaven and there were store of Roundheads but going into Hell he found that so full of Cavaliers that if a Round-head should chance to stumble thither there would be no room for him How Mr. Peters answered Oliver Cromwell