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A35871 A dialogue between Dick and Tom, concerning the present posture of affairs in England 1689 (1689) Wing D1306; ESTC R19218 12,672 19

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certainly your minds are strangely vitiated to delight more in the designing smiles of a prostituted Harlot than in the endearments of a chast though injured Spouse Tom. As you say my Head is fill'd with notions you would therefore do me a singular kindness to inform me what you mean when you say the Church of England Dick. By the Church of England I understand that community of Christians professing the Faith of Christ in these Kingdoms of Great Britain and Ireland freed from the dregs of Popish superstition and idolatry not that I would have you think it owes its Birth to Henry the Eighth or is a Religion form'd by an Act of Parliament but following the methods of the best Fathers and Primitive Christians But of this no more this Church so fam'd for its Piety Order Decency and Discipline the glory of the Reform'd and envy of the Romish Religion was never without its enemies But not to rip up old stories or recriminate what at this day is better forgotten I will at present confine my Discourse to her behaviour since the Accession of King James the Second to the Crown Tom. Vaith Sir your a parlous fellow at History our Mayor can talk of nothing but what they did in Queen Elizabeth's days Dick. Truly Tom I should be glad to add any thing to your knowledge though I am sensible 't would edify much more to talk with you concerning what price Cattel bear or how Corn went last Market-day at St. Albans Tom. Every thing in its season as the Woman said when she boil'd Thistles instead of Artichokes Dick. Then I 'll begin How industrious the C. of E. was to prevent the Bill of Exclusion I presume you are not ignorant When King Charles the Second died and his Brother came to the Throne all people were big with expectation to see how the Church of England would behave her self having a Popish Prince to govern her relying upon what he said at his first coming to Council and his often repeated promises to maintain her the Press and Pulpits echoed with praises of James the Just but alas how quickly was the Scene changed and the swelling hopes of the Church turn'd into just fears of her Dissolution the Bishop of London suspended Magdalen College illegally taken from the rightful Possessors Persons of scandalous Lives and more scandalous dulness preferr'd to Fellowships and Places in both Universities a High Commission erected the Bishops sent to the Tower for delivering a Petition which by abus'd and wrested Law must be called a Libel yet after all ceased she not to go on in her exemplary Loyalty but as the Apostle speaks in another ease was patient in suffering continuing instant in Prayer never heard to complain but suffering all with a most Christian Courage relying wholly on the wise Providence of that God that never fail'd to hear her in distress and the more to afflict her endeavours were us'd to seduce Persons of unwary minds from her Communion by Missionaries whose arts have since been detected by an ingenuous Pen. Yet after all she triumphs and lifts up her head in despight of her Foes this is that Church of England that stood in the Gap when Jesuits Priests Mercenary Commissioners Renegado Bishops and false Brethren strove to ruine her and now she has escap'd the Storm shall she perish in the Harbour Has she bravely resisted all the Bombs and Assaults of Rome shall a Geneva Mine blow her up Consider this seriously Tom and then I am sure you will be of my Opinion that the Dissenters had better peaceably enjoy their Liberty than by fomenting Animosities and Jealousies give an occasion to the common Enemy to spoil her and themselves together for though between themselves they differ in Circumstantials yet the word Heretick includes them both the Popish rage burning as fiercely against Pinners-Hall as against Lambeth-Chapel Tom. Verily I thought the Church of England and the Church of Rome differ'd no more than a Chopping-Bill does from a Hatchet Dick. That 's thy ignorance Tom were you to see the Pomp and Pageantry in the Worship of the one and the decent gravity in the Divine Service of the other you would quickly be of another Opinion but of this at another opportunity we 've a quarter of an hour to spare and therefore we 'll talk of other Matters for by this time I believe you are sufficiently convinc'd 't is not the Dessenters Interest to quarrel with the Church of England Tom. Why truly my eyes begin to be opened But what do you think of the Parliament now sitting Dick. No Tom you mistake 't is a Convention Tom. That 's a hard word Dick. 'T is the same thing in effect only they cannot make or repeal Laws the Kings withdrawing and leaving the Kingdom in a kind of Inter-regnum the Convention is to consider what is to be done in order to the publick peace in this unheard-of Conjuncture Tom. I know you 've a long reach can't you guess what they will go about first for I long to carry a little News down into the Country with me Dick. As far as a guess goes Tom I believe I may serve you 't is believed that one of their first Enquiries will be of the nature of the Kings leaving his people and retiring into the Kingdom of a know Tyrant which will occasion a dispute concerning the incumbent duty of a Prince and the Allegiance of a Subject a search will likewise be made into that nice point the birth of the Prince of Wales which if prov'd a Forgery will add much to the lusture of the House of Modena and the Society of Jesus but if found a reality the young Gentleman to be sent for over and Educated in the Protestant Religion A time will be likewise appointed for the calling of a Parliament which 't is believ'd will be in April next in order to settle the Grievances of the Nation and try the betrayers of their Country who are now in custody these are the most probable Conjectures I can make of what will be done at the Convention Tom. But d' ye think they won't proclaim a War against France methinks I 've such an itching to kill a Monsieur or two Dick. All in good time they have things of a greater moment to consider but that haughty Gentleman may know in time that his Bourdeaux Claret has not quite dampt the English Spirits but there are a Generation of Men alive who dare make him a bold visit Tom. He talks of heading an Army next Spring of about 80000 Men d' ye think 't is true Dick. Yes By his Effigies stampt upon his Gold that 's his way of heading an Army he has no other methods to take Towns but by bribes and treachery Tom. I heard a report since I came to Town that the Citizens have sent the Prince 200000 Pound that 's more than half the Men in our Town are worth Dick. Yes Tom and are ready to lend him as much more if his occasions require it this Money is not given to Priests and Jesuits for erecting Monasteries and making Processions but purely to be imployed for the good and safety of the Nation You see Tom by the example of our unhappy Prince how fatal it is for a King to retract from his Word and Coronation Oath but why should I wonder when the Maxim of theirs That no Faith is to be kept with Hereticks was visibly practis'd before our eyes had he been true to those who plac'd him on the Throne he might still have had Te Deum sung at his Chapel without molestation but when those Vermin the Jesuits crept into his bosome with their pernicious Morals all Vows and Obligations were forgot and rather than displease his Ignatian friends his own quiet and his Subjects peace must be sacrific'd but I fear I have already trespass'd too much upon your patience Tom. No Sir I could hear you till midnight but I have outstay'd my time and therefore ask leave to bid you God b'w'y ' Dick. Honest Tom I wish I had more of thy Company but if you are in haste Farewel FINIS
against me I have a Wife and four small Children and if you shou'd Dick. Prethee honest Tom never fear it what betray my Friend I 'd cut my Throat as soon no Tom my design is only to undeceive you 'T was not Ambition brought him hither but a just Zeal for the Defence of the undermin'd Protestant Religion in England c. and to call it an Invasion is as great a piece of Lunacy as if I should invite a neighbour to defend my house against suspected Robbers and when he was entred to call him the Thief Tom. Then was the Prince of O. invited hither Dick. Most infallibly think you else that with a small handful of men in comparison of the King's Army he could have entred England so quietly Tom. Why truly I think not but is it true that there are several Roman Catholicks in his Army that came over with him on his design Dick. 'T is so reported and by many believ'd for let that Church talk of Unity till the sound of the last Trumpet they are as envious against one another as 't is possible and like Switzers will fight for any that will but pay them though 't is somewhat difficult to trust them Tom. Why does the French King fight against Roman Catholicks Dick. Undoubtedly his Ambition knows no difference between Catholicks and Protestants else he would never have fallen out with his Holy Father the Pope but let 's leave him to the scourge of the Emperor and return to our former Discours'd of the Prince of Orange You have seen I suppose all his Declarations Tom. Yes I have and read 'em and if he is but as good as his word then Dick. You 're still at your ifs why has he not given all the demonstrations imaginable of the sincerity of his intentions by exposing his Person to the dangers of Sea and Land turning out all Popish Officers through the Kingdom and that he may not rely wholly upon his own wisedom and conduct or the advice of a few has by his Circular Letters Summon'd a Convention to meet this Month at Westminster there to debate what is fittest to be done in this critical Juncture If these reasons are not convincing to an up-prejudic'd understanding let me live all the rest of my life like a fool and when dead be buried by Jack Adams Tom. I am convinc'd yet but just now you blam'd me for my easiness of belief and now you chide me for my suspicion Dick. Dear Tom ben't angry and we shall quickly come to a right understanding But prethee what grease Paper is that you are fumbling between your Fingers Tom. I don't know well what it means a Woman dropt it just before me I took it up and call'd her to give it her but either she did not hear me or if she did hear me she would not hear me but went on as fast as she could Dick. Let 's see 't Tom. Tom. There 't is you are more Book-learn'd than I but I believe it is some Quack Doctor's-bill as you call 'em Dick. Yes 't is a Quack's-Bill but there are State-Mountebanks as well as Pretenders to Physick and the mischief on 't is the latter give a thousand Bills before they meet with one Patient but these sort of Bills poison almost every body that reads ' em Tom. For my part I have not read it but if it be so dangerous as you say tear it in pieces out of hand Dick. No No I have my Antedotes about me Heaven be prais'd I 'll ingage it shall do neither of us harm Tom. Why do you understand Physick and Strology Dick. To trifle with you no longer Tom before I dread it I must tell you something by way of Preface Tom. Proceed then Dick. Why Tom. there are a sort of men in the World that can see farther into a Mill-stone than he that pecks it people of such ready intellingence they 'll tell you the precise Minute that the old Gentleman at Rom cuts his Corns a week before he does it Tell you of Massacres Devastations and other Calamities a long time before they happen and these are those kind of cattle that dropp'd this Bill whose design is only t amuse and frighten People with sears and jealousies of what perhaps will never be causing them like people in false alarms of Fire to break their Necks out at window to a void being burnt The Title on 't is Considerations propos'd to the Electors of the ensuing Convention that 's the Text now let 's hear the Application an Use of instruction no doubt Gentlemen God Almighty has now put it into your hands either utterly to ruin or perpetually to settle three Kingdoms and with them the Protestant Religion in general by the choice you shall make of men to Represent you in the ensuing Convention very good you never yet enjoy'd and perhaps never may again such another opportunity of making your selves and your posterity happy you choice being now absolutely free without any force or hazard as formerly Tom. Why is not all this very true methinks the Paper speaks honestly Dick. You never heard a Mountebank bawl out upon the Stage Gentlemen here in this Glass is a most infallible Poison that will rid you of your lives in half an hour but he sincoths you up with Gentlemen here 's a rich Cordial Prepar'd after the Receipt of the Duke of Florence a single drop of it in the mouth of a sick Person has recover'd him when all Doctors and Friends have given him over by this artifice you we drawn in to buy his Poison'd Stuff while behind the Curtain he has the pleasure to laugh at you So 't is with this Paper you little think what malignity comes after this sweetning Complement but I 'll read on and now prepare your Ears for as much Malice as ever was crouded in a dozen Lines Consider therefore they ought not to be chosen that ridicul'd the Popish Plot and promoted several Protestant Sham-ones that did what in them by so Surrender your Charter or which is all one submit to the King's Regulation of it And discountenanc'd and threatned all that would not give up the Rights of the City as well as themselves upbraiding them with the odious names of Enemies to the Government that baffled you in your Choice and Suffrage and made many worthy Citizens Rioters for asserting their Rights therein that swore illegal Sheriffs by force of arms that contrary to the known Rules of Common-Councils pretended to repeal all the Proceedings of twenty years without so much as reading any act thereof except the Titles or referring them to any Committee and absolutely refusing the negative question though desir'd and that in a word did to the utmost in their sphere endeavour to promote the arbitrary designs of a Popish Court to rob all freeborn Englishmen of their inherent Rights and Privileges Sir W. P. then Lord Mayor There 's enough for a taste The next Paragraph relating to