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A95862 Versatile ingenium, The Wittie companion, or Jests of all sorts. From citie and countrie, court and universitie. : With an account of the life of the laughing philosopher Democritus of Abder̀a. / By Democritus Junior. Burton, Robert, 1577-1640. 1679 (1679) Wing V257A; ESTC R185956 129,090 241

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think so sais his father because sais he I have no mind to be envied or to be effeminate and Aristotle tells us that much learning is the cause of both in the 21 chap. of the second book of his Rhetoric A wittie Man but a notable fuddle-cap was told by his friend that his evening excesses in that kind was contrarie to that rule of health Incipias liquido sicco finire memento o Sir said he I beg your pardon 't is Incipias liquido sic ô finire memento Sir Robert Cateline Lord chief Justice of the Kings Bench in the reign of Queen Elisabeth had a prejudice against those that wrote their names with an Alias and took exceptions at one in this respect saying that no honest man had a double name or came in with an alias the partie ask'd him what exception his Lordship could take at Jesus Christ alias Jesus of Nazareth Sir Henry Wotton going Embassador into Italie as he pass'd through Germany stayed some days at Augusta where passing an evening in merriment was requested by a german gentleman to write some sentence in his Albo a book of white paper design'd for such purposes Here upon Sir Henry took occasion from the present discourse of the companie to write this pleasant definition of an embassador Legatus est vir bonus peregrè missus ad mentiendum Reipublicae causâ an Embassador is an honest man sent to lie abroad for the good of his countrie Thomas Arch-bishop of York in the reign of Henry the first falling verie sick was told by his Phycisians that nothing in the world would do him good but to accompanie with a woman if there be nothing els to be orderd replied he I shall chuse to die a virgin for surely the remedy is worse than the disease and accordingly he died see Bakers Chron. pag. 60. Polyd. Virg. lib. 11. chap. 30. When there was a flying though false report that Pope Urban the eighth was coopt up by his Cardinals in the castle of St. Angelo a rogish schollar said jam verissimum est Papa non potest errare undoughtedly then now 't is true the Pope cannot err or go astray What do you think of that Gentleman said one pointing to a self-conceited phantastic person going by I wish replied he that all my friends were such as he fancies himself to be and that all my enemies were really such as he is Raphael Urbinas an excellent Limner was reprehended by two Cardinals for representing the faces of St. Peter and St. Paul with an un-becomming and untoward redness upon them he replied that he had not express'd them in such a paleness and leanness in their faces as they had contracted while liveing with their fastings and troubles but that he had imitated that adventitious redness which came upon them now they were amongst the blessed blushing at the manners and life of their successors That was a remarkable speech of a wise person delay said he hath undone many for the other world haste hath undon more for this time well managed saves all in both There came a young Man to Rome who in the opinion of all men exceedingly resembled the Emperor Augustus whereof he being informed sent for him being in presence he ask'd him if his mother had never been at Rome the stranger answer'd no but his father had the Emperor dismiss'd him A Clergie man who was well known to have chang'd his Religion or if you please his opinion very often was at a visitation complemented by one who in conclusion told him that a person of such worthie parts did indeed deserve preferment and that how e're it happen'd otherwise yet his merits might justly claim the highest place of the church o Sir replied he there are many worthier persons to whom so grand a complement would be more agreable upon my word Sir return'd the other I know not in the whole Diocess one whose merits stand so fair for the wether-cocks place of our Cathedral as your own Doctor Jegon Master of Bennet colledg in Cambridg afterward Bishop of Norwich punish'd all under-graduates in the colledg for some general offence and the penalty was put upon their heads in the butterie and because he disdain'd to convert the mony to any private use it was expended in new whiteing the hall of the colledg whereupon a schollar hung up these verses on the screen Doctor Jegon Bennet-colledg Master Brake the schollars heads and gave the walls a plaister But the Doctor who had not the readiness of his parts any whit impaired by his age peruseing the paper ex tempore subscrib'd Knew I but the wag that writ these verses in a braverie I would commend him for his wit but whip him for his knaverie The French Embassadors who were sent to conclude the match between the Lady Henrietta Maria youngest daughter to Henry the Great the eldest being married to the King of Spain and the second to the Duke of Savoy and Prince Charles had private audience of King James a little before his death who told them pleasantly that he would make war against the Lady Henrietta because she would not recieve the two letters which were sent her the one from himself the other from his son but sent them to her mother yet he said that he thought the conclusion would be peace because he understood she had afterwards put the latter letter in her bosom and the first in her cabinet whereby he said he suppos'd that she intended to reserve his son for her affection and him for council In the times of confusion when the University of Oxford no less than other places of the Kingdom were turn'd upside down when Doctors appear'd like Aldermen and Aldermen as Doctors a Doctor of Divinity to shew his zeal for suppressing those loyal Gentlemen of the west who made an attempt to free their native soil from bondage thought fit to change his gown for a cloak and rather like Major General than Vice-Chancellor as he was at the head of his souldierie ridd thurrow Oxford with his hair fill'd all with white powder This was not a little discours'd of so that one said tho white powder may be discharg'd without noise yet it seems the Doctors white pouder in his hair being of an other nature gave a report through the whole nation A Gentleman had lead a company of children into the fields beyond their wonted walk and they being now wearie cryed to him to carrie them the Gentleman not being able to carrie them all relieved himself with this ingenious device he said he would provide them all horses to ride home with and furnished himself and them with geldings out of the next hedg the success was that mounted fancie put metal into their legs and they came cheerfully home Eginardus was secretarie of state to charlemaign and had placed his affections much higher than his condition admitted makeing love to one of his daughters she likewise affected him exceedingly and gave him a free