Partnership of the Kingdom These were the Originals of the Roman Empire which for two hundred forty three years was govern'd by cruel Kings and ended under Tarquinius the Proud exil'd for the Rape of Lucrece And as the Posterity of Cain ended in the seventh Generation destroy'd by the Flood so these Roman Successors in the Seventh King from Romulus were driven out of the City by Popular Tumult However though the Romans threw off the Yoak of Kingship yet they could not shake off the Yoke of Servitude For the Kings being now thrown out and the Government translated into the hands of the Nobility Brutus a Nobleman was the first Roman Consul chosen He to establish the Foundations of intended Empire not onely labour'd to equal Romulus the first Founder of the City in Murther but also to outdo him for he slew two of his own Sons and two of his Wives Brothers in the Market-place after he had caus'd 'um to be publickly whip'd After this the Government continued for many Ages sometimes in the hands of the Nobility sometimes of the Commonalty under the power and command of sundry Magistrates and petty Tyrannies at length under Julius Caesar a man I cannot say whether stronger in War or corrupter in Manners and afterwards under Antonius a man inslav'd to Lust and Luxury wholly determin'd After which the whole Command of the Roman Empire fell into the sole hands of Octavianus Augustus In him began the fourth Monarchy of the World but not without Murther for though Augustus was accompted one of the mildest Princes in the world yet he put to death a Son and a Daughter of his Uncle Caesar begot upon Cleopatra though his Uncle had Adopted him and left him his Heir by Will not regarding Name Kindness Affinity nor Childhood And now the Roman Emperours held the Monarchy of the world among whom behold these Monsters of Cruelty and Impiety Nero Domitian Caligula Heliogabalus Galienus and others under whom the whole world was oppress'd till Constantine the Great having slain Maxentius for his Lust and Cruelty hated of the Roman people was proclaim'd Emperour He because he re-edifi'd Byzantium making her equal with Rome or else as it were a new Rome and commanded it to be call'd Constantinople from his own name seems to have translated the Roman Empire to the Greeks and at Constantinople as Romulus at Rome assur'd it to himself by the murther of the two Licinii the Husband and Son of his Sister as also of his own Childe and Wife Thus the Empire remain'd among the Greeks till the time of Charles the Great under whom the name of the Empire onely was remov'd into Germany And thus far for Monarchies Let us make inquiry into the beginnings of some other Kingdoms and we shall finde them founded upon no better principles nor upheld by less impiety nor the occasions of their dissolutions less remarkable I shall omit the Murthers of Dardanus and by what devilish contrivances having besotted the Greeks to be his impious accomplices he laid the Foundation of the Greek Monarchie I omit the Governments obtain'd by the murthers of their Husbands as the stories relate concerning the Amazonians I come to later times and the verges of our own memories In Spain in the time of Theodosius the Emperour Alarick the Goth was the first that raign'd at which time the Vandals also possess'd a great part of the same Country The first King of the Goths that obtain'd the Monarchy of Spain was Sâ—ytilla which Roderick the King because he had ravish'd Julia Daughter of the Prefect of the Province of Tingitana some while after lost to the Saracens or Moors who after him possess'd Spain till Pelagius having again recover'd some places they were then call'd no more Kings of the Goths but Kings of Spain the Seat of the Empire being settled at Leon until the raign of Ferdinando the Holy who first call'd himself King of Castile who having slain his Brother Garsias by means of that parricide obtain'd the Kingdom of Navarre Their Brother Romanus whom their Father had begot upon a Concubine being a warlike and fierce man became the first King of Arragon The first King of Portugal was Alphonsus the Son of Henry of Lorain and Terese the Bastard-daughter of Alphonsus King of Castile A stout man at Arms who slew five Princes or great Governours of the Saracens in one Battel which was the reason that the Kings of Portugal carry five Shields for their Arms yet was this Alphonsus curst and cruel to his Mother whom because she married a second time he cast into perpetual imprisonment nor could be mov'd to set her free by any perswasions intreaties prayers or menaces of Ecclesiastical Censure Thus all the Kingdoms of Spain have been obtain'd by unheard-of Villanies and held by the same Arts. I omit the Kingdoms of the Burgundians and Lombards compos'd of the greatest and most famous people of Germany and begun in Lombardy by Alboynus in Burgundy by Gondaicus and in both places maintain'd and propagated by Murther and Bloodshed Let us view the most Potent Kingdom of the Franks in Gallia whose first Foundations were laid by Pharamond Son of Meroveus who coming out of Germany into France was made King of the Franks excelling in nothing more than in Cruelty and Fierceness His Posterity remain'd till the time of Childerick the Third who for his sloth and libidinous wantonness was depos'd from his Kingdom and thrust into a Monastery In his place was Pipin advanc'd Steward of Childerick's House who having got the Kingdom for himself and his Posterity by treason establish'd his own Power by the Murther of Grifo his Brother His Posterity continu'd to Lewis the Second Son of Lotharius who for adulterating his Wife Blanch's bed was poyson'd by her at which time Hugh Capet laid violent hands upon the Scepter a stout Warrier and there highly esteem'd by the Parisians but otherwise ignoble as being the Son of a Butcher He rebelling against Charles the Uncle of Lewis and right Heir of the Crown scrapes together a loose Band of debauch'd fellows and Vagabonds and having got the said Charles into his hands by treachery thrust him into Prison and there kept him till he di'd and thus having most barbarously murther'd his King and Prince he assum'd the Regal Diadem changing a Kingdom into a Butchers shop whose Succession endures to this day It would be too long and tedious in this place to enumerate the Originals of all Kingdoms and discourse the Histories of all Antiquity I have in another Volume writ more at large of what I have here but lightly touch'd where I have painted out Nobility it self in its proper Colours and Lineaments and I have shewed that there never was nor is any Kingdom in the world or famous Principality the Foundations whereof were not built upon Particide Treachery Perfidiousness Cruelty Murther Slaughter and other most horrid Crimes the Arts and Utensils of Nobility whereof when we see the
whose shape Adulteries have been Committed in the Courts of Princes as by Eudemus with Livia the Wife of Drusus and by Valerius Vectius with Messaâ—â—ina the Wife of Claudius Now lest any one should think the Philosophers unuseful for Pandarisme behold Aristippus the very Master of the Cyrenaicks who associating himself among other Rivals with Thais a Noble Curtesan boasted that he enjoyed Thais others were only enjoyed by Thais so that while they wasted their Estates upon her he had his Pleasure with her gratis Whereby it is shrewdly to be suspected that â—he Jade did but make the Philosopher her Pimp by his Example and Authority minding to draw the young Nobility to her Embraces Neither was Aristippus satisfied in making himself Pimp to a Whore â—ut he also began to teach the Arts of Lust in Publick Translating them from the Brothel-house into the Schools Nor are the Mechanick Arts less favourable to the Art of Bawdery than these we have rehears'd especially the Phrygian Arts of Weaving Knitting Sewing and other the like Female Exercises under pretence whereof your old Bawds while they pretend to carry about Linnen Silk Head-cloaths Hoods Lockets Gloves of young Whores now become stale and experienced Bawds making those Toyes the Baits of their Allurements and thereby also obtaining the opportunity of Discourse and these are immediately seconded by Laundresses and Chare-women who have freedom of access into Houses There are also Beggars that under pretence of Charity are constant at the doors where any Design is laid on purpose for the Conveyance of Letters and Messages And to the Married Wife those Gifts convey Which the Adulterer sends to make his way The Exercises of the Nobility also as Tilting and Juâ—ing give great opportunities to Compass the Designs of Pandarisme as also your Military Traynings by means whereof Romulus ravish'd the Sabin Virgins And as for Hunting how often have the Woods been privy to the secret Adultâ—ries of great Personagâ—s In relation to which Virgil takes a very good occasion to be merry discribing the opportunity that Dido and Aeneas had when they lost their Company in Hunting And Jupiter himself did oft-times make the Shepherds his Pimps What great opportunities are got by going by Water Venice can testifie The Art of Cookerie gives also the same advantages at great Feasts and Dinners After the Feast was ended all took down They mighty Goblets place and Bacchus Crown Here rich with Gems and Gold the Queen requires A Bowl with Wine them merry be desires Then having gently kiss'd the swelling Cup Gave 't Bicias be the full Gold soon turns up Next other Peers Tyrians and Trojans praise with one consent But the slow Night unhappy Dido spent In various talk and long imbibed Love There are many other Artifices also of Bawds and Pimps but above all there is nothing like the temptation of Gold wherein if the Alchymist could satisfie our Expectation they would be the most Invincible Panders in the World A Wife well Portion'd high Repute and Friends Kindred and Beauty all Queen Pecunia sends The Jealous Husband is appeas'd with Gold the inexorable Rival mollified with Gold the most strict and watchful Keepers and Guardians are corrupted with Gold there is no Dore no Gate but opens to Gold no Bed-chamber but gives entrance to Gold Bars Stone-walls and the indissoluble Bonds of Wedlock all yield to the Force of Gold and what wonder if Virgins Widows Matrons Vestal Virgins are sold and bought for Gold when Christ himself was sold for Silver Moreover under the Leading and good Conduct of this Captain of Pandarism many have risen from very low and mean Fortunes to the highest degree of Nobility That man prostitutes his Wife and is presently made a great Officer another prostitutes his Daughter and is presently made an Earl another for procuring such or such a Lady into the embraces of his Prince is streightway thought to be worthy of some great reward and is presently made a Bed-chamber-man Others are come to be great persons for marrying the Kings Concubines and being preferr'd to great Employments by the same Arts of Pimping and Pandaring make sufficient gain of Popes and Cardinals neither is there any way more compendious to get an Estate Now how much Religion conduces to Pandarism the History of Paulina a most Chast and Constant Lady related by Aegesippus most abundantly testifies whom the Priests of Isis prostituted to a young Knight whom they made her believe to be the God Anubis What more powerful Charm for the advancement of Pandarism than Auricular Confession as is sufficiently manifest in the Tripartite History and of which were I so minded I could give fresh Examples upon my own knowledge For the Priests Fryers Monks and Sisters have a special Prerogative to be both Pimps and Bawds having the liberty to wander where they please and with whom they please when and as oft as they please to converse with all privacie and secrecie without any witnesses neer so well and securely and their Bawderies personated and disguis'd Some there are among 'um who think themselves anathematiz'd should they touch Money yet the words of St. Paul nothing move 'um That it is not good to touch a woman and yet they not onely handle 'um with their unchast hands but secretly also haunt the publick Brothel-houses deflowering the Holy Nuns vitiating Widows and adulterating the Wives of their Hostâ— sometimes which I both know and have seen like the Trojan Ravisher they carry 'um quite away and prostitute 'um in common to their Fellows according to Plato's Law whereas they ought to gain their Souls to God they sacrifice their souls to the Devil Many other more wicked Crimes than these their mad Lust commits which it is a shameful thing to utter in the mean while believing that they have sufficiently perform'd their Vow of Chastity if they do but in words onely bitterly inveigh against Luxury Fornication Adultery and Incest not being able to talk of Vertue without shaking their Buttocks Such as these the great Ladies always keep neer 'um the Contrivers of Court-marriages and Adulteries There was in antient time a Decree of the Senate engraven in two Tables and kept in the Temple of Venus a Law favourable to Whoremongers and Bawds a Copy whereof we finde set down by Crinitus in these words The Laws of visiting courting whispering toying intruding saluting discoursing wooing let them be permitted by me Let no man hinder them from all conveniences in the House at the Windows in the Garden postico impluvio let them carry their Messages let them keep Faith let them give all aid and Assistance In the second Table thus At Night let them mind their Vows let them with their protestations mingle Complaints let them put away all shame and fear let them suppress sorrow let them take hold of time and place never give way to opportunity in their Love-Letters succidunto in them let them urge their hopes their affection their
Head we may easily conjecture at the monstrosity of the rest of the Members onely prompt and ready for the Execution of all manner of Vice Violence Rapine Murther Men-hunting and Lust. Would any person become Noble let him be a Huntsman this is the first step to Preferment or let him be a mercenary Souldier and let himself out to commit Murther This is the true Noble vertue whereby he that shews himself the bravest and stoutest Thief shall deserve the greatest Honour and Dignity He that is a Fool or a Coward let him buy Nobility with money for Nobility is often expos'd at the Market Or if he cannot do that let him flatter Great men and Princes Pimp for Noblemens Wives prostitute his own Wife and Daughter to the Kings pleasure marry the Kings Cast-Mistrisses or espouse his natural Daughters and this is the highest Degree of Nobility for then he becomes embodied to the Root These are the High-ways these are the Steps and Ladders by which men most compendiously climb up to the top of Honour Now they who would appear more magnificent and noble than others boast themselves to be of the Race of those which there is no body but would contemn that is to say Macedonians Trojans Vagabonds Fugitives and Exiles infamous for thousands of Crimes and Misdemeanors and yet forsooth we must magnifie extol this Nobility that had such nefarious beginnings Others deducing their Pedegrees from Whores and Concubines cover their shame with some Fable as we read in the Story of Melusina There are others that have had other most wicked Originals from Incest Rapes Fornications and Adulteries Thus Baldwin was made Earl of Flanders by Charles the Bald who had ravish'd his Daughter For the same reason were those Marquesses of Piedmont viz. Montferrate Saluces Sena and others advanc'd by Otho the Emperour For Kings and Emperours are wont when they cannot for shame punish an Injury to honour the Actors with some Title of Dignity Moreover there are â—our principal Gifts in Noblemen wherein consists their chief Vertue and Knowledge if not their onely Happiness Their first is Rapaciousness whereby they are taught and instructed to Desire Gain and Possess contrary to all Law and Equity The second is Pleasure which carries 'um headlong to all Voluptuousness and Luxury The third is Liberty whereby guarded with the powers of Violence they presume in contempt of the Law to act according to their pleasures The fourth is Ambition which swells 'um to seek advancement beyond their Merit and to stop at no wickedness or villany while they are in the pursute of vain Honour Lastly the compleatness of Nobility is discern'd in these things if he be a good Hunâ—sman if he be cunning in the wicked Arts of Gaming if he be able to shew his great strength in Drinking if the force and vigour of Nature become renown'd by his mighty Acts of Venery if he be addicted to Pride Luxury and Intemperance if he be an enemie of Vertue or grow forgetful that he was born and that he shall die More noble yet if these Impieties be but successive from Father to Son and be inculcated into their Youth by great Authorities If the Old man be fortunate in Play 'T is fit the Hâ—ir should thrive the self-same way These are the signal Vertues of Noblemen But there is another sort of Industry among the Nobility wherein they are most excellent above others to make themselves to be accompted all this while honest and good famous for Prudence Liberality Piety and Justice to which end they faign themselves courteous fair-spoken affable making a conspicuous shew of all Vertue They steep their Speeches in Oyl they banquet splendidly from house to house talk freely of State-affairs observe the opinions of other men from whence they gather what is good and ascribe to themselves the same of other mens wisdom and prudence By their covetousness they get an opinion of Liberality while what they take from one they give to another bountiful Thieves and what the Ancients write concerning Sylla by the injuries which they do to some they enrich others being themselves in the midst of all their Rapine The opinion of Justice and Piety they procure by undertaking the differences among poor people and maintain their causes against the rich sort but they no longer give assistance to the afflicted but while they can empty the Coffers of the wealthy For their intention is not to do good to the Poor but to injure the Rich which they can more easily do than do good And under this pretence of Justice and Piety sometimes they arrogate to themselves the greatest License in the world on purpose to use violence to Cities and great persons glorying in their sins like the ancient Giants and like evil Spirits seeking all occasions of mischief and then thinking that they do most good when they do no harm so behaving themselves to be a terrour to all to be belov'd by none combining with the wicked and flagitious oppressing and ruining all persons that put their confidence in ' um Of whom Aristophanes thus writes saying That it is not convenient for a City to breed and nourish Lions within it but if they be of a milde temper then we ought to be obedient to ' um The Switzers formerly oppressed by the tyranny of these Noblemen slew them all and extirpated their Race by that memorable slaughter of their Nobles obtaining a lasting name with the recovery of their liberty wherein they have happily flourish'd for above four hundred years the hatred of that sort of Nobility yet remaining among ' um CHAP. LXXXI Of Heraldry NObility was the Foundation of that noble Art of Heraldry and Philosophy has been very much employ'd in designing and ordering the Arms of Noblemen for whom it is unlawful to bear in their Coats an Ox a Calf a Sheep a Lamb a Capon a Hen or any of those Creatures which are necessary for the use of Mankind but they must all carry for the Ensignes of their Nobility the resemblances of cruel Monsters and Birds of Prey Thus the Romans chose to carry an Eagle the most rapacious of all Birds the Phrygians a Boar a most pernicious Animal the Thracians Mars the Goths a Bear and the Vandals invading Spain carried a Cat a creature most greedy and treacherous withal the ancient Franks a Lion the Saxons the same Afterwards the Franks remaining in Gallia chose the Owl the Saxons a Horse a most warlike creature The Cymbrians had for their Ensigne a Bull the Emblem of strength and good fortune Antiochus had for his Imprese an Eagle holding a Dragon in her pounces Pompey bare in his Shield a Lion Attila a crowned Basilisk The Romans whose Capitol was preserv'd from the Gauls by the Geese that were fed therein yet could not be perswaded to carry a Goose for their Shield There are that admit Cocks and Goats into their Shields because those creatures are known to be proud and lustful
the City of Olympia they were both Laught at who sought to make Peace abroad who had none in their own Families For at home the Son of Philip and his Mother were at Variance and Gorgias his Wife could not agree with her Maid therefore they thought that they who wanted Prudence and Authority to quiet Domestick Brauls could never be able to compose Publick Discords That Person therefore who Commands a City or a Common-wealth unless he know how to Govern his own House and Family is very inauspiciously prefer'd Lastly this is the only condition of Humane-Life wherein a Man loving his Wife giving good Education to his Children well-ordering his Family preserving his Estate and encreasing in Children may be said to live happily Wherein if any thing fall out of Burthen and Labour as many times Crosses will happen and there is no mans Life without Misfortune yet that very Burthen becomes light and the Yoke easie especially the Yoke of Marriage if they prove not such Wives whom Covetousness Pride Deceit or Lust but God hath joyn'd for whose sake a man is bound to forsake Father and Mother Son and Brother and Kindred and adhere to his Wife whose love ought to exceed the love of all others So Hector seeing the Fate of Troy which was to be Destroy'd seems not so much troubled for his Parents Brothers and Kindred as for the loss of his dearest Wife So we read in Homer I well fore-see the Fate of Mighty Troy That Priam and his People shall Destroy But nor my Countries nor my Fathers smart Nor Priam's fall so much Afflict my Heart Nor loss of Kindred many and Renown'd Whom Hostile rage shall bury under ground As care for thee my honour'd Spouse doth vex My grieved Mind I confess that unhappy Matches are attended with many Evils and Miseries which Socrates remembers us of that is to say perpetual Care consuming Jealousie continual Quarrelling upbraidings with Dower the scornful looks and countenances of Kindred the manifold Expences and uncertain dispositions of Children sometimes Barrenness and Extinction of the Family a strange Heir innumerable Sorrows many times the restraint of Election Marriage being impos'd so that whether she be of a good Humour a Fool Perverse Proud Sluttish Deform'd Unchast nothing of all this can be known till after Consummation none of which are seldom or ever after mended Of unfortunate Marriages there are many Examples Marcus Cato Censor in his time the Chief and Prince of the Roman Commonwealth who had scarce his equal both in Peace and War having in his declining years Married a young Maid the Daughter of one Solomon a man poor and of mean Extraction lost all Mastership and Authority at home in his own House Tiberius having Married Julia the Daughter of Augustus Infamous for many detected Adulteries and not daring to Correct Accuse or Repudiate her was forc'd to retire to Rhodes not without manifest detriment to his Fame and danger of his Life M. Antonie the Philosopher having Married Faustina the Daughter of Antonius Pius was forc'd to be contented with her though an Adulteress for fear of hazarding the loss both of Dower and Empire together But all these Inconveniences happen not so much through the fault of the Women as the negligence of the Men. For it seldom happens that the Women are bad unless the Husbands are worse Of whom thus Varro discourses in Gellius The Vices of Women are either to be endur'd or to be taken away He that forces a Woman to mend a fault renders her more tolerable to himself but he that endures a fault makes himself the better Man Of all which we have spoken more largely in our Declamation upon the Sacrament of Matrimony Again many times the Education of Children proves not so happy as it was intended many growing stubborn and disobedient to their Parents others become Contentious others Mad others Foolish others dull and thick Scull'd others given to all Debauchery spending all in Luxury Lust and Gaming Others prove Parricides as Alâ—meon and Orestes and the Malleoli who kill'd their Mother Therefore Artaxerxes surnam'd Mnemon having be got a Hundred and fifteen Children was forc'd to put to Death the greatest part of 'um for Plotting to take away his Life and for this Cause Euripides modestly supposes what our Bernard positively â—vers That it is an unknown good to want Children Augustus also the most Fortunate of Emperours in other things yet beholding the behaviour of his Daughter and Neece was wont to cry out in the Words of Homer O that Vnwedded I had liv'd And never all my dayes for Issue striv'd Of Servants also thus saith Euripides At home there is no greater Enemy nothing worse or more unprofitable than a Servant Says Democritus A Servant is a necessary Possession but not pleasing And Petrarch hath written I knew saith he that I liv'd among Doggs but never knew my self to be a Hunter but by Admonition Servants are called Dogs as being snappish devouring and snarling Plautus in his Pseudolus well expresses their conditions A Pestiferous Generation of People into whose thoughts nothing enters that may at any time perswade 'um to do well but when there is occasion snatch catch carry away this is their Practice that a man had better leave Wolves among Sheep than to entrust these Servants at home And Lucian in his Palinute The Curses of Servants are alwayes ready against their Masters and there is nothing more at hand among 'um than thievery deceit running-away arrogance negligence drunkenness gluttony sleepiness sloth and laziness From whence arose that Proverb As many Servants so many Enemies But we do not so often find 'um Enemies as make 'um so while Masters carry themselves proudly covetously cruelly and contumeliously becoming Lords and Tyrants at home exercising a feverity over them not as we ought but as we please concerning whom Plautus brings in Strophilus thus speaking in his Aulularia Masters their Servants use injuriously And as corruptly Servants now obey So what is just on neither side is done Your sparing Old Men with a thousand Keys Their Cupboards Kitchins Cellars Butteries shut Which to their Children they will scarce unlock But Servants suttle cunning crafty Thieves With Keys Two thousand open 'um again And then by stealth they swallow and consume What rackt a hundred times they 'l nere confess Damn'd slaves on their enslavers thus revenge With Jokes and Laughter take which makes me say Free Masters only faithful Servants make Many Commonwealths have egregiously suffer'd by reason of their Servants As well those Historians testifie who have written the Rebellions of Servants against their Masters More especially the City of the Valsinenses a City flourishing in Riches famous for the excellency of her Laws and Government afterwards a most miserable spectacle of the Insolency of her Slaves For when the strict severity of the Citizens over their Servants decreas'd insomuch that they sometimes admitted them to their Councils afterwards a few of