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A43744
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The wary widdow, or, Sir Noisy Parrat a comedy : as it is acted at the Theatre Royal by Their Majesties servants / written by Henry Higden ...
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Higden, Henry.
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1693
(1693)
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Wing H1945; ESTC R34463
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59,061
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72
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Butchers meat longing for the most delicious Bits and the choicest Wines indulging himself in all voluptiousness present largely to a Mistress As if his small and only stock would hatch and breed in his Breeches like Fortunatus his purse I have seen another beg or borrow halfe a Crown to treat himself with a bon-Christian-Pare though he had not wherewith left to satisfy his hunger at the three-penny Ordinary Another that his left whole stock a Crown as earnest for a Dog-fish went home and pawn'd the rest of his Equipage to furnish out the Treat Costa que Costa I am resolv'd to indulge my self Plot peeps in What makes you here Plot. Plot. I am come to find out my young Master Fox I have a writing for him to Seal and the Parties stay in the next Room I thought he had been here Scar. Plot here 's Sir Noisy's good health Plot. Sir your good health Ah Sir I wish you were provided of so good a fortune as Young Mr. Fox is like to have He is forthwith to marry a rich Merchants Daughter worth Threescore thousand pounds I saw the young Girle she is now about Seventeen But bred up with so much foolish Modesty and Innocence she curtsy'd to the footman carry'd the writings Her Aunt told her he was a Servant she blush'd and reply'd she took him for some noble Person by his Lac'd Coat I was asham'd to see so much Beauty so strangely bred Sir Nois What writings are they Plot. Here young Fox Covenants that in Consideration of her Aunts care and pains in her no breeding her Neice to give her one hundred pounds for her life for which she sells and delivers her said Neice So Subtle Sir Worldly marrys his Son without a Penny expence and it is possible the old Fox will cheat him of his ready money into the Bargain But I must in and wait for his comming Exit Plot. Scar. Sir Noisy It would be a pleasant Jest If you should give over the pursuit of Sir Worldly's Daughter and snap up this rich Prize carry her down into the Country and breed her up to your own likeing Sir Nois I should say more if I were secure of her fortune Scar. Plot 's your Creature he can tell you all But if he joyns with you he must run the risk of being turn'd out of Sir Worldlys Service if you make him your Steward he will have no cause to repent 'T is all one to the Aunt who has her so she may be secure of the hundred pounds a year 't is but altering the name Plot will bring it about Sir Nois But that may breed ill blood between Frank and me Scar. If you clap it up of a sudden none will concern himself for a Woman that you have already enjoy'd besides you may say it was Plots device and you know nothing of his concern in the matter Sir Nois Well I 'le in and consult with Plot if I find it feasible I 'le Squeese wax in Fox's place and go through stitch Exit Scar. This Fool will be bubbl'd in spite of our teeth and therefore it is reasonable we should share in the purchase Ful. Our last Job past cleverly upon him and I fancy he thinks he really lost his money Scar. I know I could easily perswade him Exeunt Lady meeting Clarinda in her Apartment La. Welcome my dearest and my bosome friend Our breeding and our Constant Education Has form'd our love and humour to the same Like two kind Twins each others Counterpart Clar. Few know the Joy and comfort of a friend Dividing Greif that it is scarce perceiv'd And makes the floods of Joy come double on us Washing away all Sorrow We were adopted Sisters from our Childhood Till riper years united us to friendship La. A secret Sympathy appear'd in both As if one Soul inform'd our several Bodies We writ we speak we thought like one another Endeavouring to improve each others fancys Clar. Your riper Genius had the mastring Power On whom mine waited as a weak desciple And like an eccho made a faint return Like our two Lutes tun'd to an equall pitch When yours was struck mine made a trembling motion And gave a dumb consent When cruell Fate did for some time divorce us We kept the Vestall fire of love alive Like a Recluse I sat and mus'd alone And on your bright Idea did Contemplate Our hearts th' Epitomy of natures Book In which we read all with a running look To Cultivate mans wit they plant and Toyl Which of their accord shoot in your happyer Soyl. La. Madam your kindness puts to great a value Upon that Spirit I but Coppy from you Your witty Letters of the Town affairs Mixt with Remark of other serious note Has rais'd your worth and Canoniz'd your fame Above the admir'd Sibells of this age Among that Troop my Brother does admire Your Wit your Beauty and your manly Sense Vowing had he liv'd in the Infant world When Dowry and Portion never had a name But men by Constant Service prov'd their Love His Faith and Duty had or'e come all Rivalls And tho' as yet he 's made no formall tender His heart being full of love ore flows the bounds Clar. My life and friendship are bound up with yours Like the firm Union of the Steel and Loadstone Which move incline meet and embrace each other While none discern whence comes the attractive Power La. I blush to praise my Brother to my Friend Whose long acquaintance needs no information Clar. Your Brother's Virtue claims respect from all Whose Native Gallantry in every action Distinguishes his Judgment But if my mind stood more indifferent to him Your sole Command should allways Sway the Ballance La. I thank you for this Grace Our faithfull friendship Is like a league made by our selves defensive Excluding man would proudly make us Slaves And of a gracious Lord would prove a Tyrant Like Salvage Turks exclude us heavenly bliss To make our Bodies servil to their Pleasures But we must stand on our prerogative And make them find we still command the reignes And steere them as we please Should the Brute Annimall once know his strength In vain we would restrain his head-strong will While haughty men tamely Submit and wait Upon our Pomp and Ceremonious State Present Lye Flatter Weep to make us Sport While we at last consent to what we else must Court. Enter Frank and Plot. Fra. Plot. I thank you for your Care and vigilence otherwise my Dad might have disturb'd and Turmoyl'd the whole affair he must remain in Limbo till the Marriage with Sir Noisy is fixt and then redeem him Plot. Sir Noisy has concluded and sealed to the Aunt and is mustering up his Coach and Equipage to pay his first Visit if he like her person hee will instantly marry her Fra. 'T will not be reasonable for me to appear till the Ceremony is past then t will be time enough to give them Joy Exeunt Enter Sir Noisy Fulham
storm your wit has rais'd Which hurryed me into so safe a Harbour Madam I beg you will confirm my hopes Since wit and Beauty joyn to fan desire Who can oppose such a resistless fire La. This do's confirm you Master of my Fortune gives him her hand he kisses it In times of Innocence E're Subtill heads devis'd long Settlements And perplext clauses made things intricate One single Turfe convey'd a vast Estate Fra. He salutes her and says This Turf's my tenure And I 'le ne're quit it untill death depart La. I cannot Brother make you a return to Freindly For Interesting your self in my concern Which binds me ever to become your Servant This Lady's Eyes have power to reflect The true Idea of your Gen'rous mind Frein My secret Vows have made me long your Servant to Clarinda And been a true devote unto your Shrine My Sister knows my Heart was still your Slave La. I know his constant and sincere Affection Then let me beg you will accept this hand That will present a Heart has long ador'd you Fra. Sister if I have power to sway your mind to Clarinda I beg our Families may be united Clar. Should I refuse to the Lady My self I banish from what most I Love While your Example blindly I obey I without thinking give my self away Frein To a disparing heart this balm is sure Your gracious hand could only worke the Cure kisses Clarinda ' s hand Fra. At last this lucky quarrell cleer'd the doubt Or else these Forts had many Months held out So boyst'rous waves in high wrought Seas are known To meet and kiss and presently grow one Exeunt SCENE the Hall Enter Sir Worldly Aunt He dressing himself Sir Wor. You 've told me all the story of your Neice Which calls a guilty Blush into my Cheeks But henceforth be to me an utter stranger The Goods are yours and all the Furniture Goe and be Huckster to an other bargain Exit Aunt I who have long by Wisdoms Compass steer'd Thro' the Rough Seas and threatning Rocks of danger Into the Ports of Profit and of Honour Find now some Remora arests my Vessell Detaining her against the Wind and Currant Either the prosperous Gale of Fortune leaves me Or I want wit to trim and shift my Sayles I late was forc'd to pay a heavy Ransom For this unlucky head to the Banditty And glad I scap'd so too And when my cares had treasur'd up my heart In Leonora's Love was disapointed And when I thought to search all in disguise By an unlucky chance or close designe Was Spirited on Shipboard At my return I found my Mistress marry'd By the Contrivance of my Son should I resent it As I have Reason I must then Revenge it And my Revenge is blunted by my Nature Or my devided house must drop to peeces I must forgive his faults or raise a Scandall On my past Actions Pardon his Clemency who punish'd my Purse And had it in his power to use me worse To him Enter Lady Franck Freindly and Clarinda Fra. I kneel to ask your pardon I would not presume Had not this Lady joyn'd in the request In hopes that you will grant your free Consent To make us happy The Lady going to kneel he stops her Sir Worl Madam I must prevent you Unless you 'le make me kneel for Company I give my full consent to your desires And pardon all offences of this Boy Rise Sir and I pray heaven to make you happy Lady I us'd to plead some interest in your favour And pray That as our Family has still been joyn'd In Freindship now you will Unite their Love In this my Sister and my Brother Freindly Sir Worl Madam you Ravish me with this good News And now my Girl has chosen with my Eyes I wish all four may ever prove most happy he kisses them all My heart is swell'd and pent in narrow bounds As mighty tydes meeting Lands Floods of Joy O're flow the Banks and with excess destroy I must retire a while Exit Sir Worldly Fra. I know my Fathers infinitly pleas'd But time must worke it to his satisfaction And calme the troubles rais'd within his breast I saw the Aunt That told him of Sir Noisy's Marriage With his young Wife La. I know that whole Intrigue by a strange chance and that she 's bound to you for her Advancement I 'le never think you worse for your good Nature and putting of old household stuff to best advantage Fra. For faults are past I humbly beg your pardon Enter Plot. Plot. Sir Noisy and his Lady and other Freinds are without to wait on Sir Worldly Fra. It is his vanity to show his pretty Wife I 'le out and introduce ' em Exit To them Enter Sir Noisy his Lady Aunt Scaredevil Fulham Plot and other Servants Sir Nois I brought my Wife to wait on Sir Worldly a young Innocent Foolish harmless Girle whom I intend to breed up in my house in the Country and instruct her to carry her self in Company She has no skill in the Minuet and Sings but one tune that I have taught her Poor Soul she cannot mannage a Bottle decently with a Freind nor has not confidence to make the Glasses clash in Chorus aside That 's a bitter Bob for some body I have no rellish for these Learned Ladys that know the nicety of Rules which make Women positive and preremptory and as resty to all mannagement as a headstrong horse who having once got the Bit between his Teeth runs away with a man to the Devil I 'me for breaking a young filly till I can steer her with a twine thread Fra. But your Lady looks as if she had good naturall parts I dare sware her ready Genius will improve upon your Instruction and quickly play her lesson upon sight I wish you all happyness tho' I cannot so well digest your Cross-biting me of my Mistress Sir Nois Dear Frank I always desire to hold a fair Corespondence with thee and am an humble Servant to these Fair Ladys Fra. to Lady aside I was forc'd to humble the Fool or he would have Top'd us all and grown rampant La. Sir Noisy I will wish your Lady Joy Madam your humble Servant Leo. I thank you forsooth they goe to the other side of the Stage La. Pretty Innocence Leo. turns her back to the Stage Leo. Madam I dare not pay you what respect is due in outward show But my heart is your Slave And having Shipwrack'd by my Folly I am by chance redeem'd from utter ruine Oh I could weep with tears of joy and grief For my good Fortune oweing to his Friendship And loosing him whom I hold once so dear La. But now your Freind is turn'd into my husband Leo. I wish you Joy and that they ne're may prosper Would wish to disoblige so good a Lady La. I am acquainted with your story which still lies here conceal'd I wish your conduct may redeem your faults and well