the_o gospel_n this_o only_a as_o to_o possibility_n for_o ordinary_o it_o be_v not_o so_o but_o three_o by_o gospel_n qualification_n i_o mean_v such_o as_o be_v from_o gospel_n dictate_v from_o a_o clear_a apprehension_n of_o the_o free_a grace_n of_o god_n therein_o be_v constrain_v from_o the_o love_n of_o christ_n and_o in_o obedience_n to_o the_o command_n and_o authority_n of_o christ_n the_o soul_n give_v up_o itself_o in_o all_o thing_n to_o be_v like_o he_o such_o as_o be_v wrought_v by_o the_o gospel_n and_o spirit_n receive_v they_o and_o they_o only_o be_v the_o fruit_n of_o the_o spirit_n but_o as_o for_o those_o other_o qualification_n person_n that_o be_v ignorant_a of_o the_o gosspel_n and_o have_v not_o receive_v the_o spirit_n may_v be_v eminent_a in_o they_o which_o indeed_o for_o that_o they_o have_v such_o a_o resemblance_n of_o the_o fruit_n of_o the_o spirit_n be_v great_a ornament_n as_o to_o appearance_n though_o as_o to_o inward_a glory_n they_o do_v many_o time_n prove_v miserable_a ornament_n be_v prop_n and_o stay_n that_o keep_v such_o person_n from_o come_v to_o christ_n and_o as_o it_o be_v say_v of_o the_o pharisee_n mat._n 21._o 31._o publican_n and_o harlot_n do_v enter_v into_o the_o kingdom_n rather_o than_o they_o and_o this_o i_o have_v experience_v that_o as_o to_o my_o receive_n christ_n upon_o gosspel_n term_n there_o be_v nothing_o so_o hard_a to_o i_o as_o to_o lay_v aside_o all_o those_o qualification_n as_o i_o have_v already_o express_v in_o my_o three_o and_o four_o note_n of_o experience_n now_o for_o the_o fruit_n of_o the_o spirit_n what_o they_o be_v be_v express_v both_o in_o general_a and_o particular_a term_n in_o general_a ephes_n 5._o 9_o the_o fruit_n of_o the_o spirit_n be_v in_o all_o goodness_n righteousness_n and_o truth_n more_o particular_o gal._n 5._o 22_o 23._o the_o fruit_n of_o the_o spirit_n be_v love_n joy_n peace_n long_o suffer_v gentleness_n goodness_n faith_n meekness_n temperance_n etc._n etc._n also_o there_o be_v other_o thing_n express_v in_o other_o term_n in_o scripture_n which_o doubtless_o be_v likewise_o fruit_n of_o the_o spirit_n though_o i_o think_v with_o submission_n to_o better_a judgement_n all_o other_o be_v include_v in_o these_o whether_o it_o be_v self_n denial_n patience_n humility_n or_o the_o like_a these_o thing_n be_v excellent_a ornament_n which_o do_v adorn_v christian_n in_o the_o eye_n of_o man_n and_o do_v redound_v much_o to_o the_o glory_n of_o god_n and_o therefore_o very_o considerable_a for_o saint_n to_o press_v after_o they_o by_o all_o mean_n i_o must_v confess_v that_o in_o the_o view_n of_o my_o own_o heart_n i_o have_v many_o time_n be_v much_o grieve_v to_o see_v how_o short_a i_o come_v in_o all_o these_o thing_n but_o especial_o in_o some_o of_o they_o yet_o through_o grace_n i_o can_v say_v i_o have_v receive_v a_o measure_n of_o they_o all_o and_o by_o experience_n do_v know_v if_o my_o heart_n deceive_v i_o not_o wherein_o i_o be_o weak_a and_o wherein_o strong_a and_o though_o i_o be_o sure_a in_o those_o in_o which_o i_o be_o strong_a i_o be_o but_o weak_a consider_v how_o i_o ought_v to_o be_v now_o i_o shall_v speak_v a_o little_a how_o and_o by_o what_o mean_v according_a to_o my_o experience_n and_o as_o i_o judge_v according_a to_o scripture_n rule_n these_o thing_n do_v increase_v or_o decrease_v in_o saint_n first_o i_o conceive_v they_o increase_v and_o be_v strengthen_v by_o a_o close_o walk_v with_o god_n in_o all_o spiritual_a duty_n especial_o private_a duty_n meditation_n self-examination_n self-watching_a self-judging_a self-humbling_a and_o prayer_n which_o be_v indeed_o such_o duty_n as_o no_o hypocrite_n can_v true_o do_v not_o that_o these_o private_a duty_n be_v above_o public_a but_o that_o they_o prepare_v for_o public_a and_o by_o these_o we_o be_v acquaint_v with_o our_o own_o heart_n &_o come_v to_o know_v wherein_o we_o be_v weak_a and_o wherein_o strong_a what_o we_o have_v receive_v and_o what_o we_o want_v and_o so_o how_o to_o apply_v ourselves_o to_o god_n in_o public_a and_o private_a for_o the_o subdue_a of_o such_o a_o corruption_n or_o for_o the_o supply_n of_o such_o or_o such_o a_o grace_n and_o this_o according_a to_o my_o experience_n as_o i_o have_v walk_v more_o or_o less_o close_a with_o god_n in_o these_o private_a duty_n so_o be_v my_o profit_n in_o public_a duty_n and_o my_o strength_n in_o qualification_n the_o habit_n of_o grace_n more_o or_o less_o and_o i_o be_o confident_a that_o such_o person_n as_o be_v stranger_n to_o these_o private_a duty_n be_v also_o stranger_n to_o their_o own_o heart_n and_o will_v not_o make_v any_o great_a progress_n in_o christianity_n for_o in_o the_o omission_n of_o these_o we_o be_v subject_a to_o be_v exercise_v in_o thing_n contrary_a which_o do_v very_o much_o interrupt_v our_o communion_n with_o god_n and_o so_o weaken_v the_o power_n of_o every_o grace_n in_o we_o or_o rather_o weaken_v the_o power_n of_o grace_n in_o all_o its_o effect_n for_o these_o thing_n be_v not_o proper_o grace_n but_o the_o effect_n of_o grace_n which_o be_v various_a and_o so_o improper_o call_v grace_n as_o when_o we_o do_v not_o daily_o humble_v ourselves_o before_o the_o lord_n we_o be_v subject_a to_o exalt_v ourselves_o before_o man_n and_o when_o we_o do_v not_o watch_v our_o own_o heart_n and_o judge_n ourselves_o we_o be_v subject_a to_o be_v judge_v other_o and_o to_o watch_v over_o they_o in_o a_o evil_a way_n &_o when_o we_o do_v not_o daily_o meditate_v on_o those_o excellent_a qualification_n that_o be_v in_o christ_n himself_o we_o be_v subject_a to_o see_v little_a loveliness_n in_o they_o and_o so_o have_v a_o light_a esteem_n of_o they_o not_o to_o press_v after_o they_o whereas_o we_o be_v to_o imitate_v he_o in_o all_o these_o thing_n according_a to_o mat._n 11._o 28_o 29._o but_o second_o the_o habit_n of_o grace_n or_o fruit_n of_o the_o spirit_n do_v increase_v or_o decrease_v as_o we_o do_v more_o or_o less_o exercise_n that_o measure_n of_o they_o already_o receive_v and_o every_o particular_a grace_n be_v increase_v by_o the_o exercise_n of_o itself_o and_o so_o by_o much_o exercise_n i_o mean_v by_o daily_a act_n they_o do_v as_o it_o be_v become_v natural_a as_o it_o be_v say_v of_o timotheus_n phi._n 2._o 20._o and_o the_o exercise_n of_o faith_n do_v direct_o lead_v we_o to_o the_o fountain_n of_o grace_n in_o behold_v of_o which_o glory_n of_o god_n we_o be_v change_v into_o the_o same_o image_n 1_o cor._n 3._o 18._o there_o be_v such_o a_o transform_a nature_n in_o it_o that_o the_o very_o behold_v of_o it_o transform_v we_o into_o the_o same_o likeness_n rom._n 12._o 2._o and_o i_o can_v true_o say_v from_o bless_a experience_n that_o in_o the_o exercise_n of_o that_o measure_n of_o grace_n i_o have_v receive_v thus_o lead_v i_o to_o behold_v the_o lord_n jesus_n in_o what_o he_o have_v do_v for_o i_o i_o have_v find_v it_o more_o advantageous_a for_o the_o destroy_n of_o corruption_n and_o for_o the_o strengthen_v i_o in_o those_o thing_n than_o in_o any_o other_o mean_n whatsoever_o and_o the_o reason_n why_o many_o person_n do_v sit_v a_o long_a time_n in_o the_o profession_n of_o truth_n and_o yet_o continue_v weak_a ignorant_a barren_a and_o fruitless_a branch_n it_o be_v because_o as_o they_o be_v remiss_a in_o private_a duty_n so_o they_o do_v not_o exercise_v that_o measure_n of_o grace_n receive_v and_o so_o by_o a_o heedless_a careless_a carnal_a walk_n the_o heart_n grow_v carnal_a and_o their_o be_v rather_o a_o decrease_n than_o increase_n in_o all_o spiritual_a strength_n but_o some_o will_v say_v can_v any_o do_v these_o thing_n of_o themselves_o and_o do_v not_o god_n give_v grace_n free_o both_o in_o and_o after_o conversion_n to_o which_o i_o answer_v yea_o but_o in_o the_o work_n of_o conversion_n we_o be_v passive_a i_o mean_v as_o to_o inward_a spiritual_a activity_n we_o can_v do_v nothing_o be_v dead_a according_a to_o ephes_n 2._o 1._o 2_o cor._n 5._o 14._o joh._n 5._o 25._o not_o exclude_v those_o duty_n which_o god_n require_v from_o all_o as_o hear_v the_o gospel_n read_v etc._n etc._n through_o which_o god_n have_v promise_v to_o convey_v spiritual_a life_n esay_n 55._o 3._o rom._n 10._o 17._o but_o after_o conversion_n we_o be_v active_a and_o therefore_o command_v to_o keep_v ourselves_o in_o the_o love_n of_o god_n judas_n 12._o to_o add_v to_o our_o faith_n virtue_n to_o virtue_n knowledge_n etc._n etc._n 2_o pet._n 1._o 5._o with_o many_o other_o such_o like_a scripture_n not_o that_o we_o be_v sufficient_a of_o ourselves_o to_o do_v any_o thing_n as_o of_o ourselves_o but_o our_o sufficiis_fw-la of_o god_n 2_o cor._n 3._o 5._o who_o be_v please_v to_o give_v in_o
often_o move_v into_o several_a place_n where_o we_o find_v not_o only_o particular_a person_n but_o whole_a church_n very_o much_o corrupt_v own_v &_o practise_v strange_a thing_n though_o under_o plausible_a term_n and_o spiritual_a pretence_n by_o which_o a_o while_n after_o they_o be_v break_v and_o scatter_v leave_v the_o profession_n of_o truth_n in_o the_o practice_n of_o the_o ordinance_n of_o christ_n some_o under_o one_o notion_n and_o some_o under_o another_o so_o that_o it_o be_v hard_a to_o find_v in_o those_o part_v one_o particular_a person_n that_o have_v sound_a principle_n much_o less_o a_o whole_a church_n where_o there_o be_v a_o powerful_a ministry_n and_o a_o wise_a government_n by_o reason_n of_o which_o i_o begin_v by_o degree_n to_o be_v somewhat_o confuse_v in_o judgement_n and_o true_o when_o i_o consider_v those_o thing_n and_o what_o temptation_n i_o be_v expose_v to_o at_o that_o time_n i_o do_v not_o wonder_v i_o be_v so_o confuse_v but_o i_o rather_o wonder_v at_o the_o mercy_n of_o god_n that_o i_o be_v not_o swallow_v up_o with_o confusion_n as_o many_o be_v in_o those_o day_n for_o though_o i_o be_v weak_a in_o principle_n and_o by_o those_o thing_n somewhat_o confuse_v yet_o i_o do_v not_o know_v that_o in_o two_o or_o three_o year_n time_n i_o have_v receive_v any_o corrupt_a principle_n but_o afterward_o be_v with_o a_o people_n where_o satan_n have_v transform_v himself_o into_o a_o angel_n of_o light_n i_o think_v i_o may_v say_v in_o the_o high_a degree_n under_o term_n of_o mystery_n spirit_n wait_v upon_o god_n and_o such_o like_a by_o they_o i_o be_v beguile_v and_o deceive_v in_o some_o particular_a thing_n though_o never_o in_o the_o height_n of_o that_o which_o be_v practise_v by_o they_o the_o particular_n about_o which_o i_o be_v deceive_v be_v chief_o these_o three_o or_o four_o first_o concern_v godliness_n be_v a_o mystery_n that_o it_o do_v consist_v of_o something_o within_o and_o not_o of_o something_o without_o and_o and_o that_o the_o saint_n be_v to_o expect_v life_n and_o salvation_n from_o a_o christ_n within_o and_o not_o from_o a_o christ_n without_o second_o that_o saint_n be_v not_o to_o do_v duty_n by_o or_o from_o a_o command_n without_o but_o from_o a_o command_n within_o and_o that_o the_o word_n command_v in_o scripture_n be_v not_o a_o command_n to_o they_o till_o they_o have_v a_o word_n within_o they_o three_o that_o as_o to_o the_o time_n of_o do_v duty_n they_o be_v to_o wait_v for_o the_o move_n of_o the_o spirit_n to_o carry_v they_o forth_o to_o it_o and_o this_o they_o call_v wait_v for_o a_o power_n and_o till_o they_o have_v such_o a_o power_n they_o be_v to_o do_v nothing_o but_o sit_v still_o and_o wait_v and_o this_o not_o only_o in_o private_a duty_n but_o in_o the_o church_n also_o not_o own_v any_o ministry_n by_o way_n of_o gift_n or_o office_n but_o to_o come_v together_o and_o there_o fit_a and_o wait_v till_o they_o have_v a_o power_n and_o then_o to_o speak_v whether_o man_n or_o woman_n in_o these_o particular_n which_o carriry_v such_o a_o face_n or_o show_v of_o spirituality_n i_o be_v corrupt_v but_o do_v never_o full_o own_v they_o in_o judgement_n nor_o practice_n and_o for_o such_o principle_n as_o i_o think_v do_v lead_v to_o looseness_n either_o in_o matter_n of_o conversion_n or_o in_o slight_v the_o church_n or_o ordinance_n of_o christ_n i_o do_v always_o oppose_v they_o though_o i_o believe_v such_o principle_n do_v natural_o follow_v the_o other_o but_o i_o do_v not_o then_o discern_v it_o they_o be_v cover_v over_o with_o such_o angel-like_o appearance_n and_o as_o to_o that_o principle_n of_o wait_v though_o i_o do_v own_v it_o in_o judgement_n more_o full_o than_o any_o of_o these_o other_o yet_o i_o can_v neveâ—_n come_v up_o to_o it_o in_o my_o practice_n in_o private_a duty_n but_o by_o reason_n of_o some_o conviction_n still_o remain_v in_o i_o i_o can_v not_o stay_v so_o long_o from_o duty_n till_o i_o have_v such_o a_o power_n but_o do_v frequent_o go_v to_o duty_n when_o i_o have_v it_o not_o though_o sometime_o i_o think_v i_o have_v it_o but_o in_o the_o presence_n of_o other_o i_o do_v not_o appear_v in_o duty_n but_o when_o i_o think_v i_o have_v that_o power_n though_o i_o never_o do_v so_o appear_v but_o in_o one_o place_n for_o a_o short_a season_n in_o do_v which_o i_o think_v i_o have_v communion_n with_o god_n but_o i_o do_v believe_v it_o be_v no_o such_o thing_n but_o a_o mere_a spirit_n of_o delusion_n first_o because_o i_o know_v no_o scripture-ground_n for_o such_o a_o practice_n and_o second_o from_o the_o consideration_n of_o the_o sad_a fruit_n i_o have_v by_o it_o for_o after_o a_o little_a time_n i_o begin_v to_o lose_v my_o peace_n and_o be_v very_o much_o trouble_v have_v little_a or_o no_o communion_n with_o god_n nor_o scarce_o any_o thing_n to_o speak_v to_o or_o for_o god_n and_o so_o confound_v i_o be_v in_o my_o own_o spirit_n that_o i_o know_v not_o what_o to_o do_v and_o speak_v of_o it_o to_o some_o and_o those_o not_o a_o few_o they_o labour_v to_o persuade_v i_o it_o be_v a_o dispensation_n of_o god_n and_o that_o the_o saint_n after_o they_o be_v bring_v out_o of_o egypt_n must_v be_v in_o the_o wilderness_n before_o they_o come_v to_o canaan_n and_o that_o the_o end_n of_o god_n in_o bring_v they_o there_o be_v that_o he_o may_v speak_v comfortable_o to_o they_o and_o therefore_o i_o be_v not_o to_o be_v trouble_v but_o to_o be_v quiet_a fit_a still_o and_o wait_v and_o not_o to_o stir_v the_o lord_n till_o he_o please_v this_o do_v not_o at_o all_o satisfy_v i_o but_o i_o continue_v in_o a_o very_a sad_a condition_n and_o one_o thing_n more_o by_o the_o way_n i_o can_v forget_v and_o that_o be_v that_o while_o i_o be_v in_o this_o condition_n i_o never_o be_v so_o trouble_v with_o temptation_n as_o i_o be_v at_o that_o time_n one_o temptation_n which_o i_o be_v trouble_v with_o many_o year_n before_o i_o be_v keep_v from_o until_o at_o this_o time_n which_o now_o be_v more_o violent_a than_o at_o first_o as_o indeed_o those_o thing_n natural_o lead_v to_o such_o temptation_n which_o temptation_n be_v the_o same_o express_v in_o the_o begin_n of_o the_o book_n page_n 25._o this_o be_v the_o sad_a fruit_n of_o my_o stray_n from_o the_o pure_a way_n of_o truth_n which_o as_o i_o desire_v ever_o to_o own_o with_o shame_n to_o myself_o so_o likewise_o consider_v the_o temptation_n i_o be_v expose_v to_o and_o the_o little_a mean_n i_o have_v to_o forewarn_v and_o keep_v i_o from_o such_o thing_n i_o desire_v for_o ever_o to_o bless_v the_o lord_n that_o i_o stray_v no_o further_o that_o though_o in_o these_o thing_n i_o have_v much_o forget_v he_o yet_o he_o be_v please_v to_o remember_v i_o and_o show_v i_o the_o evil_a and_o danger_n of_o these_o notion_n and_o restore_v i_o to_o those_o former_a joy_n that_o once_o i_o have_v in_o he_o and_o make_v that_o which_o be_v intend_v by_o satan_n to_o overthrow_v i_o to_o be_v of_o great_a advantage_n to_o i_o which_o he_o be_v please_v to_o do_v after_o this_o manner_n have_v some_o occasion_n to_o undertake_v a_o passage_n on_o the_o sea_n from_o london_n to_o newcastle_n in_o which_o condition_n it_o please_v the_o lord_n to_o reprove_v i_o by_o the_o rage_a wave_n of_o the_o sea_n and_o tempestuous_a storm_n than_o begin_v my_o trouble_n to_o increase_v but_o not_o so_o much_o from_o that_o which_o be_v without_o as_o from_o something_o within_o the_o wave_n of_o the_o sea_n not_o beat_v so_o fast_o on_o the_o ship_n as_o the_o wave_n of_o temptation_n do_v arise_v in_o my_o heart_n be_v in_o a_o very_a much-troubled_n dissatisfy_v condition_n not_o find_v my_o heart_n willing_a to_o submit_v to_o god_n neither_o indeed_o know_v how_o to_o behave_v myself_o towards_o he_o in_o relation_n to_o the_o present_a trouble_n all_o which_o be_v occasion_v by_o those_o corrupt_a principle_n be_v at_o a_o great_a loss_n whether_o i_o shall_v now_o pray_v or_o wait_v for_o a_o power_n not_o be_v sensible_a of_o any_o other_o power_n at_o that_o time_n but_o what_o be_v from_o the_o present_a trouble_n to_o put_v i_o upon_o it_o but_o in_o this_o trial_n i_o be_v glad_a to_o betake_v myself_o to_o my_o former_a principle_n the_o lord_n bring_v to_o my_o remembrance_n that_o command_n and_o promise_n psa_n 50._o 15._o by_o which_o i_o be_v encourage_v to_o cry_v to_o god_n as_o indeed_o i_o can_v not_o nor_o dare_v not_o forbear_v for_o still_o own_v my_o interest_n in_o god_n by_o which_o i_o be_v make_v capable_a of_o prayer_n i_o can_v not_o answer_v that_o with_o such_o other_o like_o scripture_n
will_v save_v or_o damn_v i_o at_o last_o i_o know_v not_o neither_o do_v i_o think_v it_o possible_a for_o i_o ever_o to_o have_v know_v that_o except_o it_o be_v by_o some_o extraordinary_a way_n which_o very_o few_o do_v attain_v unto_o but_o by_o degree_n i_o begin_v to_o stay_v upon_o some_o promise_n through_o such_o consideration_n as_o these_o first_o i_o think_v it_o can_v not_o stand_v with_o the_o goodness_n of_o god_n to_o damn_v a_o poor_a soul_n that_o have_v such_o heart-working_n and_o desire_n after_o he_o as_o i_o have_v have_v much_o in_o my_o thought_n those_o word_n of_o sampsons_n mother_n judges_z 13._o 23._o i_o think_v that_o if_o he_o do_v intend_v to_o destroy_v i_o he_o will_v never_o have_v give_v i_o such_o desire_n after_o he_o &_o preserve_v i_o till_o now_o and_o then_o that_o promise_n mat._n 5._o 6._o do_v much_o support_v i_o for_o i_o think_v that_o if_o ever_o poor_a creature_n do_v hunger_n and_o thirst_n after_o righteousness_n i_o do_v these_o promise_n and_o consideration_n with_o some_o confuse_a apprehension_n that_o i_o have_v concern_v the_o lord_n jesus_n do_v much_o raise_v i_o the_o thought_n i_o have_v of_o he_o be_v such_o as_o these_o i_o do_v believe_v that_o the_o justice_n of_o god_n must_v be_v satisfy_v for_o sin_n and_o that_o nothing_o can_v satisfy_v his_o justice_n but_o a_o perfect_a righteousness_n now_o i_o think_v i_o be_v to_o be_v very_o strict_a and_o circumspect_a in_o all_o my_o way_n if_o it_o be_v possible_a to_o perform_v such_o a_o righteousness_n but_o what_o i_o can_v not_o do_v christ_n have_v do_v for_o i_o and_o when_o i_o have_v do_v any_o thing_n that_o i_o think_v be_v sin_n i_o can_v not_o apply_v christ_n till_o i_o have_v repent_v that_o be_v till_o i_o have_v mourn_v fast_v and_o pray_v afflict_v myself_o in_o such_o a_o measure_n as_o i_o think_v may_v stand_v with_o the_o not_o destroy_v or_o prejudice_v nature_n for_o there_o god_n will_v have_v mercy_n rather_o than_o sacrifice_v and_o jesus_n christ_n will_v make_v up_o that_o which_o be_v want_v so_o that_o christ_n be_v my_o stay_n though_o it_o be_v through_o a_o very_a carnal_a and_o wrong_a apprehension_n but_o though_o i_o think_v i_o must_v be_v so_o qualify_v and_o fit_v for_o christ_n before_o i_o can_v receive_v he_o and_o be_v make_v happy_a by_o he_o yet_o i_o know_v there_o be_v no_o mercy_n to_o be_v find_v without_o he_o nor_o no_o life_n but_o in_o he_o in_o this_o condition_n i_o live_v some_o year_n more_o and_o grow_v very_o cheerful_a &_o confident_a as_o i_o think_v it_o be_v possible_a to_o be_v under_o such_o a_o apprehension_n but_o yet_o my_o confidence_n be_v always_o more_o or_o less_o as_o i_o be_v more_o or_o less_o strict_a in_o my_o way_n and_o sometime_o though_o i_o have_v be_v never_o so_o strict_a yet_o i_o be_v subject_a to_o fear_v leave_v i_o have_v not_o do_v as_o much_o as_o it_o be_v possible_a for_o i_o to_o do_v for_o otherways_o i_o think_v christ_n will_v be_v nothing_o at_o all_o to_o i_o yet_o my_o hope_n be_v great_a than_o my_o fear_n and_o i_o be_v resolve_v if_o i_o perish_v i_o will_v perish_v here_o at_o the_o foot_n of_o christ_n and_o now_o i_o do_v not_o only_o see_v that_o possible_a which_o before_o i_o think_v impossible_a but_o i_o have_v great_a hope_n and_o much_o confidence_n most_o time_n this_o apprehension_n though_o it_o be_v that_o which_o be_v far_o below_o the_o glory_n of_o the_o free_a grace_n of_o god_n in_o the_o gospel_n yet_o it_o do_v present_a christ_n very_o lovely_a to_o i_o and_o do_v produce_v in_o i_o a_o real_a love_n to_o he_o as_o i_o dare_v not_o but_o so_o judge_n consider_v how_o i_o stand_v affect_v to_o and_o delight_v in_o whatever_o i_o know_v to_o be_v his_o will_n though_o i_o must_v confess_v i_o think_v at_o the_o first_o the_o great_a wheel_n that_o carry_v all_o about_o be_v my_o own_o good_a yet_o i_o be_o very_o confident_a that_o at_o this_o time_n i_o have_v a_o real_a love_n to_o &_o delight_n in_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n and_o his_o commandment_n be_v not_o grievous_a to_o i_o but_o i_o do_v approve_v of_o they_o to_o be_v the_o most_o excellent_a thing_n because_o approve_v of_o by_o the_o lord_n and_o i_o well_o remember_v i_o be_v so_o far_o take_v off_o from_o delight_v in_o sin_n that_o i_o think_v i_o may_v say_v i_o do_v hate_v it_o with_o a_o perfect_a hatred_n as_o that_o which_o be_v in_o itself_o the_o only_a object_n of_o hatred_n as_o it_o be_v against_o god_n and_o all_o my_o delight_n be_v to_o be_v with_o those_o that_o i_o think_v do_v excel_v in_o virtue_n and_o i_o can_v not_o bear_v wicked_a person_n but_o their_o way_n and_o practice_n be_v odious_a to_o i_o yet_o still_o i_o say_v my_o condition_n at_o this_o time_n be_v a_o condition_n of_o extreme_a bondage_n and_o below_o the_o gospel_n i_o shall_v say_v no_o more_o of_o it_o but_o only_o this_o that_o what_o i_o have_v here_o write_v i_o think_v i_o may_v say_v be_v not_o the_o hundred_o part_n of_o the_o labour_n and_o travel_n of_o my_o soul_n while_o i_o live_v in_o that_o condition_n and_o if_o i_o shall_v go_v about_o to_o write_v it_o all_o i_o know_v not_o how_o nor_o when_o to_o make_v a_o end_n but_o god_n be_v please_v in_o mercy_n to_o free_v i_o from_o that_o bondage_n by_o the_o manifestation_n of_o his_o love_n and_o grace_n through_o his_o son_n to_o who_o be_v all_o praise_n and_o glory_n for_o ever_o more_o amen_n some_o brief_a observation_n from_o this_o second_o note_n of_o experience_n first_o concern_v the_o person_n by_o who_o my_o experience_n in_o these_o thing_n begin_v which_o be_v one_o as_o i_o judge_v not_o right_o call_v or_o send_v to_o preach_v the_o gospel_n he_o not_o be_v relate_v to_o a_o true_a church_n though_o otherwise_o i_o hope_v a_o godly_a man_n according_a to_o that_o measure_n of_o light_n he_o have_v receive_v from_o whence_o i_o observe_v that_o it_o be_v possible_a for_o a_o godly_a man_n in_o time_n of_o ignorance_n and_o darkness_n to_o be_v a_o minister_n of_o a_o false_a church_n second_o i_o observe_v that_o though_o it_o be_v not_o the_o work_n of_o a_o false_a ministry_n neither_o be_v it_o the_o way_n of_o god_n to_o convert_v soul_n by_o yet_o accidental_o or_o providential_o something_o may_v be_v do_v that_o way_n by_o they_o especial_o in_o time_n of_o persecution_n where_o there_o be_v not_o a_o true_a ministry_n abroad_o as_o indeed_o i_o be_o much_o incline_v to_o own_o the_o work_n of_o conversion_n to_o be_v begin_v in_o i_o at_o this_o time_n and_o that_o for_o these_o reason_n first_o because_o now_o be_v the_o day_n of_o god_n power_n noâ—_n only_o to_o make_v i_o willing_a but_o there_o be_v some_o change_n wrought_v in_o the_o whole_a soul_n and_o every_o faculty_n of_o it_o which_o before_o be_v dead_a have_v now_o some_o life_n and_o motion_n in_o thing_n relate_v to_o god_n and_o godliness_n as_o the_o understanding_n be_v open_v so_o the_o will_n be_v change_v and_o make_v willing_a to_o submit_v to_o truth_n and_o to_o embrace_v the_o way_n of_o life_n though_o it_o be_v through_o the_o great_a difficulty_n yet_o in_o much_o darkness_n and_o then_o the_o affection_n be_v take_v and_o though_o there_o be_v but_o a_o little_a glimpse_n of_o truth_n appear_v yet_o there_o be_v a_o love_n to_o it_o and_o delight_n in_o it_o and_o a_o great_a hatred_n of_o the_o contrary_a all_o which_o i_o apprehend_v can_v not_o be_v but_o from_o some_o seed_n of_o the_o gospel_n though_o through_o false_a teach_n there_o be_v not_o that_o bless_a fruit_n of_o joy_n and_o peace_n in_o believe_v also_o the_o memory_n be_v active_a and_o busy_a to_o retain_v truth_n so_o that_o here_o be_v some_o change_n wrought_v in_o the_o whole_a soul_n as_o aforesaid_a a_o second_o reason_n be_v because_o when_o i_o lie_v under_o conviction_n of_o sin_n by_o the_o law_n and_o be_v ready_a to_o sink_v under_o my_o burden_n that_o which_o do_v support_v and_o uphold_v my_o spirit_n be_v the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n though_o my_o apprehension_n of_o he_o be_v not_o according_a to_o the_o gospel_n as_o to_o the_o glory_n of_o the_o free_a grace_n therein_o contain_v a_o three_o reason_n be_v from_o the_o consideration_n of_o that_o fruit_n which_o do_v appear_v at_o that_o time_n which_o be_v a_o entire_a love_n to_o christ_n and_o a_o conversation_n suitable_a thereunto_o according_a to_o the_o light_n then_o receive_v for_o there_o be_v not_o only_o a_o do_v good_a but_o a_o love_n to_o it_o and_o delight_n in_o it_o and_o there_o be_v not_o only_o a_o forbear_n evil_a