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A74874 The great eater of Grayes-Inne, or The life of Mr. Marriot the cormorant. VVherein is set forth, all the exploits and actions by him performed; with many pleasant stories of his travells into Kent and other places. Also, a rare physicall dispensatory, being the manner how he makes his cordiall broaths, pills, purgations, julips, and vomits, to keep his body in temper, and free from surfeits. / By G.F. Gent. Fidge, George. 1652 (1652) Thomason E667_8; ESTC R27357 38,713 45

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was as much an Innocent as the rest In the Morning Mr. Marriot went forth They were instructed before what to answer him to aske whether it were good time to go a Fishing or no the Water-men told him very good time Sir to catch Sammons or Jacks or such great fish I will go with you presently I will but fetch my Tackling having discharged the house away he goes to the water side where Mr. Marriot went into a Boate and said to the Water-man carry me now where the grea●●st Fish lyes I shall Sir said the Water-man do my best endeavour where having-set him on shoare Marriot-puls out his Tackling and baites his Hook with a peice of Liver enough to choake a Dogg It being a deep place many Eeles resorted to his baite many times he puld them to the top of the water but caught none he thought his own way best and so walked further but being watched by those Gentlemen who as he was going over a Feild to a better place to stand to fi h in a Constable appeared and told him he had a Warrant for him and he must go presently before a Justice of the Peace Marriot wondred what should be the matter but knowing that it could not be helpt went with the Constable the Gentlemen being come before the Justice who demanded of them what they had to say to Mr. Marriot one of the Gentlemen said Sir upon suspition of stealing our Doggs for he carryes Instruments for the purpose he hath a line of Whipeord of thirty yards long with a Hook that is wired two foot With these and the like Instruments he doth many mischiefs also catching Ducks and other poor Creatures as silly Piggs for the Doggs they supply his Stomack in the Vacation and in the Term time he either is or makes his Clyents to be at the charge of the roasting of the Pigs and Ducks and the like How is that quoth the Justice why such Designes may undoe a whole Country Sir Sir quoth he these Instruments are unsufferable how do you know how many poor People may be undone by your Engines I am a Gentleman and a Lawyer quoth Marriot and know what belongs to things of this Nature as well as your selfe not unlikely quoth the Justice but Sir Sir you must know where you are and who you are before that I do very well quoth Marriot you are a Justice they say Put case * Marriot puts him a Case I did use such Tricks you have not taken me in the Manner nor ought any man to suffer for his Belly for that is most an end the Susterer Where where quoth he is the Pigg or the Duck I did take shew me any and what and Faith let them be roasted and we 'l laugh a little With that the Gentlemen there laughed heartily Hold hold quoth the Justice this is no laughing Matter and yet could hardly forbeare it himselfe of what Innes of Court are you Grayes-Inne quoth Marriot I honour the Place very much quoth the Justice but Mr. Marriot it is a great dishonour to the house for a Member hereof to become a Dogg-stealer I professe quoth Marriot they wrong me I came for nothing but my pleasure well replyed the Justice for no other reason then that you are of that honourable house I shall remit the businesse and quit you but have a care Mr. Marriot how you come a fishing in these parts agen I warrant you Sir quoth Marriot I have a good warning and so took his Journy home-ward where being Arrived he told his Land-Lord how he had been served and vowed never to go a fishing more CHAP XX. How Marriot was privately Invited to a Supper in the City which was appointed for the making of two Neighbours friends which had formerly been at variance and how he was discovered And how both he and the rest of his Company were dismist without their expected Supper IT happened that two Citizens of London had a falling out whether it were for their own honesty or their Wives I know not which I shall not here question but by some Neighbours they were advised to put it to Arbitration each man was to choose two sufficient men in the Parish to end this Controversie rather then to go to Law to spend much Money on both sides and neither the Gainer all partyes are agreed to put it to Arbitration which accordingly was done and he who was supposed to have done the wrong was by these learned men judged to give the party wronged a Supper for himselfe and his Friend the time and place was appointed and all are Friends again Yet he who had received the wrong and not well pleased with the Result of the Arbitration still retained an inward Grudge though he seemingly carryed a faire out-side to the other and did study how to vex him at last he thought that if he could get Mr. Marriot with him hee should be sufficiently revenged on him for he knew that his Stomack was able to undo two such house-keepers as he was might he have but a full Table continually he presently sent for Mr. Marriot and gave him the whole circumstances of the businesse and declared the cause of his sending for him which was this Mr. Marriot there hath lately been some fallings out betwixt one of my Neighbours and my selfe wherein I have received much Damage and Wrong the Particulars thereof will be too long to recount unto you and keep you from hearing that which you suspect to be the occasion of my sending for you at this time you shall go as my Friend and at the Supper I wish you to feed heartily for it will be a great satisfaction to me to see him vex at the spoyle of his meate do you think that your Stomack is able now to give a finishing stroake to the meate that shall be brought to the Table when Marriot heard this his solid Countenance changed into a smile thinking himselfe halfe at supper already saying Sir I am so well prepared for such an Encounter that had I fasted a Week I could not have a better Stomack then now I have for were there more meate then I guesse there is I durst attempt it all my selfe Bravely spoken Mr. Marriot you shall be my only Champion in this businesse and I dout not but that we shall remain Conquerours in our Enterprise Marriot who for such a businesse needed not to be much intreated but streight way Harnessed himselfe and a long with the Messenger he goes being now come to the Citizens house he was better instructed of the matter and away they go to the place where they should have their Supper being come they were led into a faire Room where the Cloath was laid Bread and Salt on the Table and other necessaryes on a side Cubboard Marriot heard the Jack go but as yet had not smelt the meate his Stomack being raw fell upon a French Roule to appease the waterish Humours that did trouble
able to endure longer makes his way towards the stairs thinking to make up the sportby his leaving them but the stairs being dark downe tumbles his Clyent in comes Maudlin with the Constable the Constable seizes on the Gentleman immediately Marriot was heard to cry out the Constable secured the Gentleman and then went up where he found Marriot's hat off his Gowne over his Ears * Note the Antiquity of them and his Blew breeches discovered Blesse me quoth the Constable what have we here A distressed Gentleman quoth Marriot thou lyest quoth the fellow thou art no Gentleman * His Gentility questioned for if thou wert thou wouldst pay me for my meat sirrah sirrah quoth Marriot thou art a Knave I will make thee stand to thy bargain thou shalt be hang'd first and at him he flies againe come cries the Constable a Justice of Peace shall end this difference with all my heart quoth the fellow and mine too quoth Marriot I can shew my face where thou darest not thine So downe the Constable had them to goe before the Justice but his Client being unwilling to appeare further in the businesse offered to pay the fellow for his meate As I am a Christian quoth Marriot but you shall not I will have out my bargain or I will not pay him a penny for his meate What was the bargain quoth the Constable I was to make a meale on his meate quoth Marriot for three shillings and he has eaten me five pieces quoth the fellow as bigge † He shews the piece as this and would have this too The Constable laughed heartily and told Marriot it was a shamefull thing and most unreasonable I am a Lawyer quoth Marriot and know 't is no shamefull thing for a Man to eate his † Were there more on t meate Sirrah quoth the fellow it was none of thine I will be paid for it and so to a Justice they went The Constable there opened the matter to the Justice Marriot pleaded his bargain the Fellow made his defence and said he thought he had bargained with a Man but he proved a Monster It is all one for that quoth Marriot a bargain is a bargain and I will have right if there be any Justice † As though he doubted it in the Kingdom The Justice being of Gotam breed checkt the fellow told him that a bargain was a bargain † Every foole can speak as he is taught and he would recover it against him and therefore ordered the fellow for preventing his future trouble to restore Marriot the other piece of meate and to take his three shillings for full satisfaction Well quoth the fellow if it must be so hee shall eate it in my sight and the Devill doe him good with it Good reason too quoth the Justice but not in my house quoth the fellow I 'le see him hangd first I care not where I eate it quoth Marriot and yet I 'le eate it where I please Not so neither quoth the Justice you must eate it where the bargain was made Oh good your Worship quoth the fellow punish me not so unlesse you Order him to call for drink proportionable Well Sir quoth the Justice give him twelve pence more and eate it where you please Sir I 'le eate it in the street first quoth Marriot away away quoth his Client it shall be so we but trespasse upon this Gentlemans patience friend deliver him his bargaine and thou shalt have foure shillings that 's twelve pence more then my bargain quoth Marriot it goes neer my heart to give it him They departed from the Justices and returned to the Cooks Cell-doore for into it he was not to be admitted the meate was brought forth the money paid and Marriot put the meat in his sleeve * 'T was not the first time he had done so Sirrah sirrah quoth Marriot I shall know you for a Knave hereafter and shun thy house as I would a Prison Bridewell is firter for you then a civill house quoth the fellow and set the boyes at him that Marriot became in danger which his Client perceiving slunk through Stevens Alley and left him to the mercy of the boyes Marriot observing the multitude to increase and fearing lest hee should loose his meate in the combustion stalked * His usuall pace along the street sometimes snapping at the meate and sometimes at the boyes Be quiet children quoth he I am a man * In his owne conceit and shall then he swallowes downe a peice as big as his fist and that is of no small size till by degrees he had made an end of it all without the help of bread or drink and so laughing at the boyes and his fancy of securing his meate from them kept on his Pace with the boyes at his heeles till hee came to his Lodging and there received his first shout and acclamation to be no Innes of Court Dumplin but a man of a large Colon. CHAP. III. Marriots second Encounter with his voyding a Worme MR. Marriot being invited to Dinner to a private house by some Gentlemen was met in the street by some other Gentlemen who observing how he sweat with going an unusuall pace apprehended that he was upon some design of meeting alias eating and his hast betrayed his feares of coming too late and so they having a disposition for mirth resolved to stay his Journey Mr. Marriot quoth one of them why so fast I pray Sir forbeare quoth Marriot my business is of concernment the state of your body I warrant quoth the other Gentleman Sir quoth Marriot pray let me goe * Marriot begins to be angry what hast what hast quoth the Gentleman Well Gentlemen quoth Marriot you may do me more harm in an houre then you will do me good in ten how know you that quoth the other You are a Man of good Intelligence Mr. Marriot what News what Newes I have no more to do with News then Newes hath to do with me quoth Marriot pray let me * Oh to see his face now goe Suppose quoth one of them I should bring you Newes of a Dinner were there any harme in it Marriot lickt his lips and said pray Gentlemen do me not thus much preiudice there are some that stay for me What to do sayes the Gentlemen this is Vacation time you have not Law Suits to follow and held him fast by the Wrist Marriot began to * You cannot blame him strive at which the people that flocked about him laughed heartily Gentlemen quoth Marriot I pray let me goe or I 'le call a Constable To call a Constable you mean quoth the Gentlemen and therefore 't is best keeping you here with that the People laughed out-right why good people good people quoth Marriot will you let a Gentleman be thus obstructed in his Occasions What are your Occasions Mr. Marriot quoth one of them are they urgent I in truth are they quoth
tasted of a bit of the meate sate still neverthelesse to keep him company he having now finisht his task arose from the Table and walked a little but the Gentlemen advised him to lay his halfe Crowne under his Trencher and to walk away † It was given him Marriot took their counsell and away he went with one of the Gentlemens Servants no more notice being taken of him then another The Gentlemen presently knocked for the Master of the house asking if they should stay his leasure for a Dinner the Host told them that he had sent them a sufficient Dinner they desired him to come in and see if there be any thing that will but satisfie hunger much lesse variety as is here expected the Host looking on the Table saw many Dishes but could not perceive what had been in them they were so cleanly licked one of the Gentlemen said You may see Sir what a sleight Ordinary you keep that one man can eate that which you provide for twenty If you will provide us now a Dinner we will pay for it for the Gentleman has left his halfe Crowne for what he has eaten The Host not willing to loose all his Guests at once provided them a Dinner presently and many things extraordinary provided they brought M. Marriot thither no more to Dinner CHAP. XVII How Mr. Marriot eate eight pound of Corrans with one pound of Tobacco in them IT happened that Mr. Marriot was walking alone by Grayes-Inne when some Gentlemen espyed him being in a Grocers shop The Plot 's a making who sent the Boy to desire him to come to them Marriot presently came asking their pleasure with him one of the Gentlemen said I have laid a Wager on your head Marriot desires that none should loose their wagers of his performances and I hope you will not let me loose it not by any meanes said Marriot if I can help it It is only thus I have laid ten shillings that you will eate eight pound of Corrans in one houre Sir said Marriot before you shall loose I will try my best the Corrans being weighed out were put all in to a great Bowle where doubtlesse they had conveyed Tobacco yet in his eating them they could not discern whether he tasted it or no he had no sooner done but he fell to vomitting having eaten much that day all would not lye in his Stomack but flew out at both ends the Gentlemen presently hired a Cedan and sent him to his Lodging where he was made clean but the Cedan men cursed him for the Chaire was not sweet again in a Month. CHAP. XVIII How Mr. Marriot was pawn'd by some Gentlemen at a Taverne THere were certain Gentlemen at a Tavarn who in a Morning made such haste that they had spent all their Money before Dinner-time and knew not at the present where to get a Dinner but one of them being a notable Shifter said Let me alone to be Purver to day for you all saying I will first send for Mr. Marriot to come hither and when he is here we will tell him that we have a noble Dinner providing which will make him stay the dressing of it and I dare to pay your Reckoning if he doth not Marriot was sent for who soon came giving the Gentlemen many thanks for their love One of the Gentlemen said Marriot lissens to him Mr. Marriot I hope you will accept of our small Commons provide your Stomack for I will tell you your Cheer There is first a legg of Porke and green sauce a legg of Mutton roasted with Anchovy Sauce But not his Stomack two Pullets and a Gooseberry Tart Marriots mouth watering said Why do you not get good Beefe wherein a man might loose his Knife that is meat which will stay in the Stomack these light things will digest presently Meat being on the Table The Pork was powdred to the purpose they sate down placing Mr. Marriot at the upper end of the Board that he might have the more elbow room they all fed heartily but Marriot had done with the leg of Pork before they had eaten two slices of their Mutton which they set presently to him that he might loose no time so they fell to their Pullets but they had searse done carving when he was ready for his share Having now made an end of his Dinner the Gentlemen drank to him in a glasse of Sack saying Mr. Marriot I hope you have eaten that which pleaseth you the Pork was salt indeed but a cup of Sack will wash it down Marriot took off his Glasses till he began to be sleepy and taking a nap in a Chaire the Gentlemen saw it was time now or never to be gone made down the Staires privately and went away the Drawer coming in asked Mr. Marriot where the Gentlemen were gone I see them not said Marriot He was scarce awake then you must pay the Reckoning I 'le pay but my share said he and so was going down Staires but the boy prevented him by calling his Master who caused Mr. Marriot to pay the Reckoning Marriot said I was never pawnd before but this shall be a warning to me not to sleep again in a Tavarn and with a gastly Countenance walked away CHAP. XIX How Mr. Marriot was apprehended upon suspition of stealing Gent. Doggs and the merry sport they had with him before a Justice MR. Marriot being but a mallencholly man still thought on some way or other to passe away idle time and at last it came in his minde to go a fishing with an Angle whereby there might arise profit as well as pastime so he went to Pauls and bought him a very strong Rod and asked for the strongest Line he had the Man shewed him a Pyke Line the Hook having a double partition he liking it paid for them and went away to Newgate Market where he bought a Bullocks Liver to baite his Hook with He thought all things would bite at Bullocks Livers and hearing that it was good fishing Westward went in a Boate to Braineford where he resolved to lodge all Night his Liver and other Instruments he had in a Bagg which he carryed to the Kings Armes He needed nothing but meat for his Stomack where being in some discourse with his Land-Lord he said that the reason he came into the Countrey was to take a little pleasure in Fishing and to get him a Stomack Marriot after he had eaten some small matter went to bed the Host being glad he had such a Guest as he was to draw company to his house did acquaint some certain Gentlemen that lived thereabouts they having notice hereof resolved to play a mad Prank with Marriot so they acquainted a Justice of the Peace Most are so who was as very an Asse as themselves but they desired his Warrant to apprehend Marriot upon suspition of stealing Doggs to eate having got this Warrant they implyed a Constable to serve it who