who is not sanctified himsâ—lfe how shall he teach holily who is not holie So we must studie for our owne particular sanctification that while as we preach saluation to others we be not reprobates our selues Next we must studie to present our works and how we haue trauelled before him That is we must studie to shew our selues good Pastors as well as good Christians and to this effect he letteth vs see what properties are required in particular of vs to do the part of a Pastor And first of all he sheweth vs that we must be workmen not idle for the ministerie is a worke and no idle businesse And in respect that men may worke and all out of frame and out of order therefore he adioyneth we must be such sort of workmen that neede not be ashamed that is workmen without reproofe The worke of the ministery standeth in two points in ruling teaching the third thing that he must do as he must be a worthie workman so he must be a skilfull workman that can cut aright and worke rightly and in the end of the verse he sheweth him whereupon he shall worke wherein he shall trauell to wit vpon the word of truth And because these things cannot be done without great trauell he biddeth him studie for them all So to come backe the first thing that we must take heed to We must take heed that we be not idle And it is required of vs that we be workemen that is the ministerie as I haue said is a worke and no idle businesse That it is a worke I haue many places to proue it but there is one in speciall out of the 1. Thessa. 5.12 where the Apostle saith I pray you acknowledge those that labor among you and haue them in great estimation for their works sake So the ministerie is a worke and that we are workmen Acknowledge saith he those that labor among you and haue them in most great estimation for their works sake The worke of the ministerie standeth in two points in ruling and in teaching and these are the two points for ruling we haue 1. Thes. 5.12 where it is said And rule you in the Lord. And as for teaching the 17. verse 1. Tim. 5. Chap. letteth vs see that they must labor in the word Now by reason that men may worke and worke out of frame and that men may labour diligently and yet out of order he adioyneth that they must be such workmen as neede not to be ashamed as he would say worthie workmen and without reproofe For the ministerie is a worthie worke He that seeketh the office of a Bishop saith the Apostle 1. Tim. 3. doth seeke a worthie worke So he must be a faithfull and a worthy workman To do the part of a faithfull and worthie workeman he must do two things he must not onely rule but rule rightly he must not onely teach but teach skilfully That he must rule rightly we haue the Apostle for vs 1. Tim. 5.17 where he saith The Elders that rule well and not onely simply the Elders that rule are worthie c.. Now to rule rightly it is as the Apostle speaketh 1. Thes. 5. To rule in the Lord to rule in the Lord againe is to rule spiritually in spirituall affaires as the Lord did To rule in the Lord is not to rule as a Lord For we preach Christ Iesus to be our Lord saith the Apostle and we are your seruants for his sake So to rule in the Lord is not to rule as a Lord but vnder the Lord as a seruant To rule in the Lord is to rule as he did Now he saith of himselfe Math. 18. That he came not downe to do his owne will but his Fathers will who sent him So as the Lord ruled not after his owne will much lesse must we rule after our will yea not after the will of the Prince We must lay all sorts of wils aside and follow the will of God onely For so many conclusions and determinations as flow from the will of man yea although they were the will of the Prince beside the warrant of Gods word they are as many nullities and haue no power to strike vpon the conscience no more then the Popes Buls So he must lay aside all sort of will and rule after the Lords will For his wil is perfect good and holy as the Apostle speaketh Rom. 12.2 Further if he will rule as the Lord did he must rule carefully and very diligently for as it was his meate and drinke as he speaketh himselfe to do the worke of his Father so we must be carefull and preferre his worke before any worke of our owne although it concerne our body neuer so neare To mooue vs to diligence we should remember that we haue the Citie of God to watch ouer we should remember that we haue the spouse of Christ to present as a pure virgin and we haue the lambs of Christ committed to our feeding for that threefold repetition of our Maister bidding Peter feede his lambes what required it but diligence And who is able to answer to the meanest of these things And yet I haue not spoken the halfe of the things that are requisite So that I maruell not if of old and of late also there be many loth to enter their shoulders vnder so heauie a burthen But it is a great maruell that any should be found that can intrude himselfe to so weightie and hard a worke Who euer he be that runneth so vnsent he will neuer do good in this worke As he must rule rightly so he must teach skilfully and this is set downe in the end of this verse where he biddeth them deuide the word and deuide aright As to the former speech it is a borrowed kind of phrase wherin the Apostle alludeth to two things first to the bread of the familie comparing the word to houshold bread vs to stewards who are the deuiders of that bread As it is required in a steward of a great familie that he be discreet in such sort that he haue a respect to euery mans age abilitie and disposition and deuide to them thereafter So in vs that are the dispensers of this blessed word there is a speciall kind of dexteritie wished that is the gift of discretion whereby we may skilfully and fruitfully deuide to euery one He that will do the part of a skilfull Teacher must be a faithfull interpreter and a skilfull applyer to interpret faithfully he must take heede to three things chiefly first he must take heede to the meaning of the Author that he take vp his true meaning so neare as he can To take vp his meaning truly he must first take heed to the words what they signifie he must trie their signification after triall gather such a meaning as the words may beare and as their signification may agree with for if he gather a contrary meaning or another then they may import he is
Image which we lost nor to leaue vs in this earth but it pleased him to giue vs a better Image and beside that to place vs in heauen there to remaine with him for euer Now resteth his mercie and grace here No But that this saluation which he hath alreadie purchased brought about by his Sonne our Sauiour Christ Iesus might be wholly accomplished hauing nothing wanting in it as he redeemed vs in his owne person perfectly so he makes this same redemption to come to our knowledge makes vs sure of it in our consciences and to this end what doth he As by his death he purchased our full redemption so he makes it knowne vnto vs he intimates it vnto vs by our inward calling letting vs both finde and feele in our heaâ—ts what he did in his body for vs. For our Lord when he makes his seruants to proclaime this redemption and to intimate it to our consciences he workes this Iewell of faith in our soules which assures vs that the Son of God hath died for vs. For what could it auaile vs to see our redemption to see our saluation and our life a farre off if a way were not found out and a hand and meanes giuen vnto vs whereby we may apprehend that saluation applie it to our selues What can it auaile a sicke man to see a drugge in an Apothecaries shop except he may haue it and apply it to his sicke bodie So to the end that this worke of our redemption and saluation may be fullie and freelie accomplished looke how freelie he hath giuen his onely Sonne to the death of the crosse for vs as freelie hath he found out this way and meanes and offered vs this hand whereby we may take hold on Christ apply him to our soules This meanes to conclude is faith There is not a way nor an instrument in the Scriptures of God whereby we can applie Christ to our soules but onelie the instrument of faith therefore faith cannot be enough commended Turne to faith and it will make thee turne to God and so conioyne thee with God and make all thine actions well pleasing vnto him There is no good action that we do though it seeme neuer so good before the world but it is abhomination before God if it be not done in faith and will further our condemnation hauing faith all the creatures of God are seruiceable vnto vs they must all conspire to the furtherance of the worke of our saluation As on the contrarie wanting faith there is none of the creatures of God but shall be enemies vnto vs and conspire to our damnation For faith conioynes vs with the God of heauen and makes vs heauenly This Iewell of faith seasons all the gifts and graces which God giueth vnto vs all the riches of the earth is of no value to my soule without faith And what auaileth it any man to haue all the knowledge and wisedome in the earth without faith For the diuell hath all this knowledge and is not the better What auaileth it me to conquer all the Monarches kingdomes and whole riches in the earth what can all these auaile my soule Nothing but accuse me if I want faith Therefore all the benefits and gifts of God without faith auaile nothing but to augment our miseâ—ie All the gifts and graces of God are abused without faith faith onely maketh thee to vse the benefits and graces of God rightly Faith only should be sought kept and entertained here in this life hauing faith all the rest of Gods graces are profitable vnto thee for this Iewell keepeth them all in order and maketh them all fruitfull whereas wanting this iewell there is nothing here on earth but it will testifie against thee Let vs then speake of this faith how it is wrought in you I take my ground out of the Euangelist Iohn 6.44 where our Sauiour saith No man can come to â—e except the Father which hath sent me draw him In the which words we see clearly that except we be drawne except we be compelled except we be thrust except of vnwilling we be made willing by God the father it is not possible for vs to come to his Sonne What is the reason of this that the Spirit of God must draw vs and make vs willing or euer we come to God Because by nature we are not onely wounded and lanced by sinne and iniquitie but as the Apostle sheweth Ephes. 2.1 We were wholly dead in trespasses and sinnes yea obseâ—ue how voide any dead bodie is of a naturall life so voide are our soules though they be liuing the naturall life so voide are they of the life of God of that heauenly and spirituall life whereunto we in this life do aspire vntill such time that the Spirit of God draw our hearts and minds that is quicken our hearts and minds No it is not a drawing as we commonly speake it is a very quickning of a dead thing It is a quickning of that thing which was void of the life of the Spirit Then except the Spirit of God draw vs that is quicken vs with that spirituall and heauenly life it is not possible for vs to come to heauen And except he nourish this life which he hath begun it is not possible that we can stand in this life So the Spirit of God is said to draw vs that is to begin this life in vs and by the same holy Spirit to continue and nourish this life in vs. Now by the drawing of the Spirit our soules are quickned and by the drawing of the Spirit I vnderstand no other thing but the framing and creating of faith in our soules which makes vs new creatures Now let vs see what order the Spirit of God keepeth in drawing vs and informing and creating this faith in our soules First of all I deuide the soule into no more parts then commonly it vseth to be deuided that is into the heart and the mind Our mind then being â— cloud of darknesse altogether blind naturally there being nothing in that mind of ours but vanitie error and ignorance whereby we vanish away can neuer long continue in any good resolution or purpose what doth the Spirit of God The first worke that euer the Spirit of God doth he taketh order with the mind and what doth he to the mind He banisheth darknesse he chaseth out vanitie and blindnesse that naturally lurketh in the mind and in stead of this darknesse he placeth in the mind a lâ—ght a celestial and heauenly light a light which is resident in Christ Iesus onely Then the Spirit chaseth out that cloud of mist and darknesse and placeth light in the mind And what worketh he by this light We getting sanctified vnderstanding incontinent he makes vs to see God not onely as he is God the Creator of the world but also as he is God the Redeemer and hath redeemed vs in his Sonne Christ Iesus Now before I obtaine this light
euerlasting But alas we are come to such a lothing disdaine or reiecting of heauenlie foode in this Country that where men in the beginning would haue gone some twentie miles some fortie miles to the hearing of this word they will scarcelie now come from their houses to the Church and remaine there but one houre to heare the word but rather abide at home Wel I say too much wealth withdrawes their hearts the abundance of this word ingenders such a loathsomnes that it is a rare thing to find out any that haue that thirst desire to heare the word as they were wont to haue in the beginning And for those that are in higher places they wil here it seldom or not at all for they cannot endure to heare the thing that accuseth them and conuicts them and therefore they auoyde it But they should not do so they should not shunne Christ nor abstaine from his word that accuseth them but they should heare the word and as the word accuseth them they should accuse themselues also that thereby they may come to a confessiō of their sin obtaine mercy for the same So when Christ accuseth thee thou shouldst not run from him but thou shouldest draw neere to him thou shouldest threaten kindnesse of him and as it were make a breach and forcible entry into his kingdome It is not the way when thy sinnes touch thee and when Christ accuseth thee to run from him no thou shouldest then turne to him thou shouldest confesse thy sinne cry Peccaui and seeke mercy and after that thou hast obtained mercy this word shall become as pleasant to thee thou shalt take as great delight to come to the hearing of it as euer thou delightedst to flie from it before But alas our lothsomnesse and disdaine is growne to such an height that truly I am moued to beleeue firmly that the Lord hath concluded that we shall not enter into his rest and that onely for the great contempt of his mercy and grace which is now so richly offred For why God can not deale otherwise with vs then he dealt with our forefathers the Israelites for the negligence of his word which was but then obscurely preached for then it was farre from the incarnation of Christ and the farther that it was from his incarnation the word was euer the more obscurely preached vnder darke types and shadowes Yet notwithstanding the Fathers that heard that word preached and beleeued it not they perished all in the Wildernesse except two as ye haue sometime heard out of this place And if they perished for the contempt of so darke a light much more must ye that are their children perish for the contempt of the Sun of righteousnes who is risen so plainly shineth so cleerly now in the preaching of the Gospel except the Lord in his mercie preuent you and except ye preuent his iudgements by earnest seeking and except ye seeke a feeling and seeke inward senses that ye may see and feele the grace that is offered craue againe that he will sanctifie your hearts by repentance that ye may repent you of your sins leade an honest a godly conuersation in all time to come that both body and soule may be saued in the great day of the Lord. The Lord worke this in your soules that ye may seeke mercie seeking mercie ye may obtaine mercy and in mercie ye may lay hold on Christ and that for his righteous merits To whom with the Father and the holie Ghost be all honour praise and glorie both now and euer Amen THE SECOND SERMON VPON THE PREPARATION TO THE LORDS SVPPER 1. COR. 11.2 Let euery man therefore examine himselfe and so let him eate of this Bread and drinke of this Cup. IN the doctrine of our triall and due examination the Apostle as ye haue heard wel-beloued in Christ Iesus gaue vs a speciall command that euery one of vs should try and examine narrowly our selues that is that euery man should condescend and enter into his owne conscience try and examine the estate of his own conscience in what estate he findes it with God and in what estate he findes it with his neighbour He enioynes this triall to our selues and commandeth that euery one of vs should take paines about the true examination of our consciences He enioynes this work to vs why Because no man knoweth so much of me as I do my selfe because no man can be sure of the estate of my conscience but I my selfe because no man can so diligently nor so profitably try my conscience as I my selfe Therefore chiefly it behooueth euery man and woman before they do enter in to the hearing of the Word before they giue their eare to the Word or their mouth to the Sacrament it behooueth them to trie and examine their owne consciences Not that the Apostle would seclude the triall of other men for as it is lawfull for me to try my selfe so no doubt it is lawfull for my Pastor to try me It is lawfull for other men that haue a care ouer me to try and examine me but no man can do this so profitably to me as I my selfe And though we had neuer so many tryers and examiners all is nothing if we trie not our selues So whether there be a second or a third tryer and examiner let our selues be one and the first And no doubt the Apostles minde was this to let vs see clearely that he that cometh to that Table and hath not that knowledge nor is not of that ability to try him-selfe is a profane commer cometh vncleanely and therefore must needs come to his owne destruction Let euery man therefore grow in knowledge grow in vnderstanding grow in the spirit that he may be the more able to try and examine his owne conscience To the end that ye may go forward and proceede in the worke of this triall with the better speed and with the better fruites in this examination we laid downe this order First of all I shewed what that is which we call a conscience and what is meant thereby Next I declared for what causes ye should put your consciences to this triall and narrow examination And thirdly so farre as time suffered I entred into the points wherein euery one of you should try and examine your owne consciences As for conscience that ye may call that definition to your memory I will resume it shortly We call a conscience a certaine feeling in the heart resembling the righteous iudgement of GOD following vpon a deed done by vs flowing from a knowledge in the mind A feeling accompanied with a motion in the heart a motion either of feare or ioy trembling or reioycing I leaue the opening vp of these parts to your memories and I pray God that they may be well sanctified I come next to the causes wherefore euery one of you should be carefull in trying examining your owne consciences The first cause is
second thing that ye haue to learne here is this ye see Kings may haue the Plague There is no Prince in the earth exempted from the iudgement of God when he pleaseth to apply them Thus farre for the name of the disease The second thing that is noted here is the time when the King fell into this disease there is no certaine time set downe here but the time specified is relatiue to the last history It is relatiue to that time when the King of Ashur took armes against him which was the 13. yere of his reigne So it was the 14. yeare of his reigne that he fell into thâ—s disease for this godly King reigned 29. yeares 15. of them were giuen him after his disease In the 14. yeare of his reigne the warres beganne and this time is relatiue to that history so it must be in the 14. of his reigne that he fell into that disease whether the disease was after the siege or during the same the iudgement of the learned differs although in 2. Chron. 32. chap. it appeareth that he fell into this disease after the siege and time of his deliuery For we reade in that history that the King in the meane time of this siege was building vp the ruinous walles was stopping the conduites of the waters was sending messengers to Isaiah and was resorting to the Temple These were all arguments of a wholesome and well disposed King and there is no argument of infirmity here So it appeareth that it was after the siege that he fell into this disease Now take heede where my note riseth he is scarsly freed from the fearefull warres when he falleth into a terrible plague We see then that the estate of the godliest and best Princes is to be subiect to continuall tentation griefe and vexation so that the issue of one trouble is the beginning of another So it pleaseth the Lord to exercise them And to what end I pray you To the end that this life with the pleasures and glorie of it may become bitter to their taste and so they may be moued to seeke for a better And this lesson appertaineth to all Christians for if thou be a Christian thou must looke for trouble of necessity thou must take vp thy daily crosse and follow Christ. As for the fed carcasses of this world the Lord in his righteous iudgement hath appointed them for slaughter But if thou be one of them whom he hath not appointed for slaughter thou must be subiect to a continuall exercise either in soule or in body in familie or fame one way or other thou must be subiect to a continuall exercise For there is no way to pierce the clouds but by a continuall tribulation And seeing it is so it becommeth vs not to haue our hearts here gruntling vpon this earth but it becometh vs to haue our hearts hoissed and our minds lifted vp to the heauens where our Maister reigneth in glorie and to vse the things of this world as they may best further vs to the next world or otherwise terrible is the iudgement and incommoditie that the things of this world shall bring vpon vs. Thus farre concerning the time As to the greatnesse of the disease I find it noted in the verses which I haue read by sundrie things First the Prophet sheweth the greatnesse of the disease whereas he saith he was sicke euen to the death Secondly the greatnes of his disease is aggrauated while as the Prophet getteth command in the name of the Lord to assure him of death And thirdly the byle it selfe which broke out was deadly and sheweth also the weight of the disease Now in this extremitie the Prophet visiteth him and in the name of the Lord enioyneth him two things first to take order with his house next to prepare him for death and to pull his heart the more from all present things and all earthly comfort assureth him of death shortly and for his further assurance he doubleth the word saying Thou shalt die and not liue It is so hard a thing to haue the hearts of Kings pulled from their wealth and from their glorie The Prophet in visiting of the King learneth vs a point of dutie towards our diseased brethren a point wherunto we are bound by nature by charitie and by all sorts of lawes but chiefly we who haue the care of soules and represent Esay in our office at this time chiefly we are bound to visite our brethren for at such times the Diuell is most busie the bodies of men are abstracted from the hearing of the preached word and old sinnes begin to reuiue and returne to their memories and therefore at that time there is great need of comfort We are also informed here by the Prophet how to propound our comfort lest we spend our time in idle and vnprofitable talke as worldly men do To wit first of all that we bid the patient take order with his house that is make his testament and lay aside the worldly part that so his heart may be readie to go when the Lord calleth on his soule The most part of the world are so negligent in this point of dutie that there are very few that haue their heart free when the Lord knocketh but they are compelled to leaue their heart behind them where their treasure is or where they loue best and that because they set themselues here as in a permanent Citie And in their life time they will not so much as once thinke of death but dreame to themselues length of dayes and which I wonder most of there is not a man about them that will do so much as once to put them in mind of death yea not when the Lord beginneth to strike but some say it will trouble him and make him heauie others come in and say they would do it but they cannot for teares and sorrow The Doctor saith Nature is strong enough be of good comfort So that if the Pastor leaue this point of dutie there is not a friend almost that beginneth to admonish a man vntill his outward senses begin to leaue him Now as it becometh the Pastor to propound this so it becometh the Patient to obey it for this command is not giuen by man but by God For Esay giueth it in the Name of God and it is not onely giuen to Kings but it reacheth to all masters of families whosoeuer for the Lord hath willed them to haue a care of their families not onely in their life time but in their death also that by this meanes all occasion of quarrels and debates might be cut off after their death The Patriarches the godly Kings they haue left their example registred concerning this point so that I will not insist at this present further in it Now the worldly part being set aside and the conscience put at rest the soule is prepared to heare of death and so the Prophet cometh in the
the Lord his trust and regardeth not the proud nor such as turne aside to lies 5 O Lord my God thou hast made thy wonderfull works so many that none can count in order to thee thy thoughts toward vs I would declare and speake of them but they are moe then I am able to expresse 6 Sacrifice and offering thou didst not desire for mine eares hast thou prepared burnt offering and sinne offering hast thou not required 7 Thou said I Loe I am come for in the rolle of the booke it is written of me 8 I desired to do thy good wil O my God yea thy law is within mine heart 9 I haue declared thy righteousnesse in the great Congregation Loe I will not refraine my lips O Lord thou knowest 10 I haue not hid thy righteousnesse within my heart but I haue declared thy truth and thy saluation I haue not concealed thy mercie and thy truth from the great Congregation 11 Withdraw not thy tender mercie from me O Lord let thy mercie and thy truth alway preserue me 12 For innumerable troubles haue compassed me my sinnes haue taken such hold vpon me that I am not able to looke vp yea they are moe in number then the haires of mine head therefore mine heart hath failed me 13 Let it please thee O Lord to deliuer me make haste O Lord to helpe me 14 Let them be confounded and put to shame together that seeke my soule to destroy it let them be driuen backward and put to rebuke that desire mine hurt 15 Let them be destroyed for a reward of their shame which say vnto me Aha aha 16 Let all them that seeke thee reioyce and be glad in thee and let them that loue thy saluation say alway The Lord be praised 17 Though I be poore and needy the Lord thinketh on me thou art mine helper and my deliuerer my God make no tarying THis Psalme for the most part tendeth to praise and thankesgiuing For the Author of it Dauid partly praiseth God from his owne late experience and partly from the publike experience of the whole Church Therefore for this his experience he offereth his seruice to God protesting to be thankefull to him as he had bene thankfull in times past And in the end of the Psalme he retireth himselfe to prayer and commendeth his estate to the protection of God that as he had deliuered him in time past so he would continue the same in mercy to him in time to come This I take to be the summe of this Psalme Touching the parts of it we haue three in the first wherof we haue the praise and commendation of the mercy and kindnesse of God whereby it commeth to passe that he reiecteth not them that depend vpon him In the second for this experience that he hath found he offereth his seruice to God as he had proclaimed his iustice mercy in time past so he protesteth that he is ready to do the same in time to come In the third as I spake before he retireth to prayer he commendeth his estate to God that as it had pleased him to preserue him in time past so it would please him to preserue him in time to come Following the literall meaning this is the effect of the Psalme If you take it otherwise there is a notable prophecy concerning the office of Christ Iesus concerning the abolishing of the old couenant and establishing of the new and concerning the sacrifice of our high Priest the Priest of the new Testament Christ Iesus Then to returne to the first part therein we haue a singular experience set downe Indeed if the circumstances were well considered his experience is more then singular for by the last Psalme the estate and care wherein he was at this time may be easily gathered He was pursued by the treason of his owne sonne Absalon he was pursued by the skornes and Iests of his owne seruants In this great extremity he bursteth out into prayer beggeth of God that he would withdraw his hand from him for a space and why He was consumed with his owne iniquity he desireth that at the last he would incline his eares to his prayers and keepe no longer silence at his teares in respect he knew he was but a soiourner and a pilgrime in the earth as the rest of his fathers were he sayth Withdraw thine heauie hand O Lord and let the mercy that I looked for appeare to me Now in this Psalme he letteth vs see what issue and end his long wayting obteined to wit a most blessed and happy end For in this Psalme we see that the Lord at last inclined his eare vnto him and shewed in experience that though he answereth him not at first yet he was not deafe but accomplished his desire in drawing him out of his misery in the which he lay which misery he describeth by two proper similitudes The first similitude is taken from the pit The second is taken from the myre of clay At the last the Lord drew him out of this horrible pit and placed him vpon the shore he opposeth the rocke vnto the pit and the faire way to the myrie clay and placed him vpon a plaine and faire way and directed his iourney So his long expectation obtayned a most happy issue In this his experience there are three things that offer themselues to be considered First what was this that he susteyned in this long wayting what was it that made him to continue without despaire Secondly what was Dauids exercise all the time of this long wayting Thirdly what issue end this long wayting obtayned As for the wayting there was no other thing that susteined him but that same which we Christians call a Christian hope or a Christian expectation which hope is the worke of the holy Spirit wrought in vs by the power therof whereby it cometh to passe that we with great patience abide the performance of the Lords promises In this hope there are two things inclosed There is first the absence of the thing hoped for yet notwithstanding a certaine expectation of the same This hope of ours is different from our faith though it rise and spring thereof in two speciall points For the nature of faith taketh hold on the promise for nothing can be beleeued but the promise promises are propounded to be beleeued and commandements to be obeyed The nature of faith then taketh hold of the promise The nature of hope looketh not so much to the promise as to the thing promised The nature of hope is to looke continually vntil it possesse the thing that is promised The nature of faith maketh the thing which is absent in it selfe and in very deede to be present as if it were extant and subsisting before thy senses and therefore faith is called the ground substance of things absent for faith maketh them as sure by the promise as if the thing promised were in my hand It maketh me