laugh at what they fancy ridiculous in Women before the Peace is concluded there will be added by the Ladies viz. †1. A Satyr against the Town-Fops By Madam Crawford Defended by Mr. †2. Against long Wiggs By Madam Godfrey Defended by Mr. †3. Against Cotqueans By Madam Chase Defended by Mr. 4. Against mens wearing of Muffs Defended by Mr. †5. Against the Sword-Knot now in Fashion By Madam Gilford * Defended by Sir Thomas †6. Against the mens taking Smish By Madam Rose * Defended by Sir Charles †7. Against Saluting by the Hat By Madam Stafford * Defended by Sir Henry †8. Against Old Batchelors By Madam Godfrey * Defended by Mr. Graves in an Essay proving that a single Life is best †9. Against Drinking Healths By Madam Floid Defended by Mr. †10. Against Beardless men By Madam Turpit * Defended by Sir Henry 11. That black men are the most Amorous By Madam * Denied by Sir Thomas †12. That Bastards always resemble the unlawful Father By Madam Haithorn * Denied by Mr. Reading 13. Against Promising Marriage to another VVoman whilst the first VVife is living By Madam Defended by Mr. †14. Against Enjoyment before Marriage By Madam Beesly * Answered by Mr. Colet †15. A Satyr against the Italian Husbands By Madam Harford * Answered by Mr. Breme 16. Against the Husband's crying down his VVife By Madam Defended by Mr. †17. Against Batchelors keeping Young House-keepers By Ariadne * Defended by Leander 18. Against the Annual Lampooning the Ladies at Tunbridge Wells By Madam Defended by Mr. †19. Against bragging of Womens favours By Madam Godfrey * Defended by Sir Thomas 20. Against Duelling for a Mistress by Madam Defended by Mr. 21. Against the Husband's telling his Wives Secrets by Madam Defended by Mr. 22. Against Stock-Jobbers By Madam Answered by Mr. 23. Against writing Love-Verses By Madam Defended by Mr. 24. Against admiring a handsom man By Madam Defended by Mr. 25. That 't is better to marry for Vertue than either Beauty or Riches By Madam * Answered by Mr. Hill 26. That Sighs are the truest marks of a great Love By Madam Denied by Mr. 27. An Essay on Modesty by Madam Answered by Mr. †28. Against mens Kissing one another By Madam Bail * Defended by Mr. Royse This is likewise but Part of the Ladies Charge against the Men but here 's enough relating to both Sexes to give an Idea of the whole Encounter at the end of which will be added 1. A Form of Courtship writ by Mr. Grot. 2. The Character of what Wife Sir Thomas wou'd have if he ever marries 3. The Ladies Form of Prayer for Husbands with a Project to provide 'em with good ones 4. The Articles of Peace betwixt both Sexes Newly Published The Secret History of Whitehall writ at the Request of a Noble Lord and conveyed to him in Letters by a Gentleman who was Secretary-Interpreter to the Marquess of Louvois and who by that means had the perusal of all the Private Minutes between England and France for many Years THE New Discoveries made in this Book are concerning 1. The French Court 's opposing K. Charles the Second's Restoration 2. The Matches propos'd to K. Charles the Second by the French with His Majesty's Answers thereunto 3. The Sale of Dunkirk 4. The Firing of the City of London in 1666. 5. An Account of a Letter sent by the Dutch to K. Charles the Second and of its being privately sent to the French Court. 6. The Secret of the Duke of Buckingham's Embassy into France 7. What pass'd at the Private Interview between K. Charles the Second and his Sister the Dutchess of Orleance in 1670. 8. How Mrs. Carewell Woman to the Dutchess of Orleance and afterwards Dutchess of Portsmouth came to be introduc'd to be K. Charles's Miss 9. The Private League between K. Charles the Second and the French King 10. The Duke of York's Secret Correspondence with that Court with an Account of his Pension from thence 11. Coleman's Intervention with both for his own Advantage and the Topicks he went upon his Rencounter with the French Embassador and his Private Papers 12. The Interest the French made both in England and Holland among the several Sects to prevent the late Queen's being married to King William 13. The Methods concerted to trapan Her late Majesty into France with her Father's concurrence and how prevented 14. Father St. German's attempting K. Charles the Second in his Religion with the King's Answer c. 15. Coleman's Wife 's Petition to the French King with his Answer and an Account of her Hanging her self 16. M. Le Telier's Speech about the Invasion of England 17. The Duke of York's Perversion to the Church of Rome 18. K. James's Private League with France when Regnant 19. The Essay made by the Spanish Embassador to draw him into the Austrian Interest with his Answer and Refusal in favour of France 20. How Father Peters came to be made a Privy-Counsellor 21. Why Mr. Skelton was Imprison'd in the Tower 22. Of the shutting up the Exchequer by K. Charles the Second 23. An Account of the Five Persons that made up the Cabal in England in 1671. 24. The Methods used by the French Ministers to corrupt our Embassadors 25. The Offers made by the French King of the Soveraignty of the United Provinces to King William then Prince of Orange with his rejection of them 26. The Earl of Shaftsbury's Advice to K. Charles the Second to send an Embassy to the French King 27. How my Lord Shaftsbury came to be removed from being Chancellor 28. How the French gain'd their Point in Marrying the Princess of Modena to the Duke of York 29. The Attempts made to engage the Prince of Orange in the French Interest 30. Of the Duke of York's moving the French Court for Money according to his Private Agreement 31. Of K. Charles the Second's urging the French Court for his Remittances 32. The Arguments used against the Duke of York's Marrying his Daughter to the Prince of Orange 33. The Embassy sent by the French King to K. Charles in order to break off that Match 34. Some Secrets relating to the Popish Plot. 35. Of the Duke of York's retiring to Brussels with K. Charles's Promises to him before his departure 36. The Overtures made for K. Charles's Divorce from Queen Katherine 37. Of the Duke of York's being twice privately in France and Closeted by the French King 38. Of the Marquess of Louvois's being Privately in England several times in K. Charles the Second's Reign and of his being Closeted by him 39. The Mystery of the Presbyterian Plot. 40. Of King Charles the Second's Death 41. An Account of K. James's Design of destroying the Duke of Monmouth in Holland 42. Why K. James was not Crown'd by a Popish Bishop 43. The true Reasons why the Duke of Monmouth and the Earl of Argile miscarried in their Invading England and Scotland 44. Of the Opposition made by several Noblemen against K. James's discarding the Militia 45. Propositions made by the French Agents to K. James the Second for Modelling and Bridling of Parliaments 46. The Intrigue of the Tryal and Suspension of the Bishop of London 47. Of K. James's Closeting several Persons c. 48. A particular Account how my Lord Castlemain came to be sent Embassador to Rome and of K. James's receiving the Pope's Nuncio in England 49. The Design in Committing the Seven Bishops to the Tower of London 50. The Sense of the French Court with respect to the Prince of Wales's Birth 51. An Account of K. James's ordering Mass to be said on Board his Fleet and of his going on Board himself to engage the Officers to turn Roman Catholicks 52. Of the Count D'Avaux acquainting the French King with the Prince of Orange's Preparations against England 53. Of the means whereby Mr. Skelton came to know of the Designs in Holland against K. James and of his acquainting the King his Master therewith as also his Negotiations in France 54. Of the Slights used to make K. James negligent to provide against the Invasion from Holland 55. My Lord S charged with Treachery to his Master K. James 56. Of my Lord S's being excused by some of the French Faction 57. The Arguments used by the French Agents to gain K. James's Consent to receive French Succours into England answered by my Lord S 58. K. James's Speech to his Officers upon the Prince of Orange's Landing in England 59. The motives for the Queen 's carrying the Prince of Wales into France 60. Instructions given to the French Emissaries on K. James's deserting the Crown 61. How the French Court received the News of the Prince and Princess of Orange's being Proclaim'd King and Queen of England These New Discoveries to name no more tho' the rest are of equal Curiosity and compleat this Secret History from the Restoration of Charles II. down to the Abdication of the late K. James had been for ever buryed in Oblivion had not the Fate and Address of this Gentleman led him to fetch 'em out of the dark and almost inscrutable Recesses of the French Cabinet Minutes The whole Publish'd from the Original Papers By D. Iones Gent. THere is also Publish'd A New Undertaking Entituld The Night-Walker Or Evening Rambles in search after lewd Women with the Conferences held with them to be Publish'd Monthly till a Discovery be made of all the Chief Prostitutes in England from the Pentionary Miss down to the Common Strumpet The first Night-Walker for October was Dedicated to the Whore-Masters of London and Westminster and this for November just now publish'd is Dedicated to the Dutchess of Price of each 6 d. Both Sold by R. Baldwin near the Oxford-Arms in Warwick-Lane
Tip of an Ear of any in CHRISTENDOM Well Madam You are I see so ravish'd with Admiration of your self that 't is pitty now to disturb you or wake you out of such a pleasing Dream and therefore at present there I leave you THOMAS Answer to Letter II. By Madam WILLET In a Letter to Madam Godfrey the Lady who first engag'd her in this Female War Madam I Doubt you have chosen but a bad second in a very good Cause however I cannot deny to contribute the little I am able where our common Interest is concern'd leaving it to your Discretion either to give these rude Thoughts the Honour of a place amongst better Company or totally to suppress them As touching the Accusation of our seemingly angry Antagonist who chargeth all our Sex with Pride and Vanity we may bear it with the less Concernment because almost in the Prelude thereof he fairly owns what I take to be very much to our Advantage namely that it is not for the sake of their Sex that we take so much pains in Dressing and Adorning our selves but meerly and only for the Decency of the thing in its own Nature I hope he will not forbid us to reverence our selves or to consider that we are humane Creatures If we were to be buried he would permit us to make use of some Ornaments which yet surely he will not also attribute unto Vanity seeing we shall have none but Worms to admire us in the Sepulchre Let us therefore make the best use of this one piece of Ingenuity which has it seems undesignedly dropt from him Let us record it against we have occasion for it This Gentleman plainly asserts in the midst of all his passion That it is not for the sake of our Lovers that we take so much pains with our selves nay as if he had not bin yet kind enough he again adds that he himself will clear us from this Imputation But I do not conceive that we need all that which he so bountifully grants us for let us suppose that we did really express something more of Solicitude in our Dress when we expected the Visits of a Person for whom we had a vertuous friendship I cannot see any thing criminal in such a Behaviour or that looks like Pride and Vanity nay rather the contrary for nothing savours more of Pride than to affront or slight a Person who doth not merit it and who beâ—â—â— us any respect and waits upon us in order to express the same Now nothing in my Opinion can be a greater Affront to a Person of Condition than when we are forewarn'd of their Visits to be surpriz'd in a Dress not suitable to receive them Or sometimes to repay the Honour of such a Visit in the same undecent Manner Moreover it is evident that many Persons express as much Pride and Vanity in a morose and undecent Dress and Deportment as any others can in the most fashionable Dress and the most costly Ornaments Was not the Cynical Philosopher Diogenes guilty of more unexcusable Pride than the famous Alexander the Great who came to make him a Visit for which the brutish Fellow could find no handsomer way of Requital than by bidding him stand out of his Sunshine We are not to regard what any Person wears but in what manner he doth it The most resplendent Monarch in the Universe could not be more proud of his stately Palace than that same Tatterdemalion was of his stinking Tub nor the most Beautiful and most Magnificent Youth in all Greece of his Rich and Splendid Robes than he of his Squalid Rags which would Nauseate to behold them These things being agreed to as I suppose none will deny them I proceed yet further in the Defence of our Sex as to the Articles now under Debate which I may fairly do or at least silence our Accusers by a just Recrimination If we are vain are they otherwise If we are proud are they humble Let us make an equal Estimation of things and the contrary will be indubitable We have we do not deny some outward Embellishments which are not proper to Men and perhaps we use more than they do and were we somewhat more pleased with them a little good Nature would not chuse to impute it to a Vice when at the utmost it can be no more than a Weakness But we desire either our ptesent Antagonist or any other of our pretended Enemies to give us Information if ever they have seen a Lady altho' drest to the greatest Advantage who had so much Complaisance for her self and so little for another as when a Gentleman a Stranger was in the Room who came to make her a formal Visit to employ a great part of her time in admiring her self in the Class without any regard to the Company or to common Civility And after they have reply'd to this Query we shall desire 'em as ingenuously to satisfie us in two or three more How many of their own Sex they know who will not employ themselves in the same manner tho' their Mistress her self were in Company And whether this be as civil as we know it is a fashionable way of entertaining â—adies And lastly if this be not a clearer Demonstration of their own Sexes insufferable Vanity than any which they can affix upon ours If you furthermore accuse us for affecting Dominion over your Sex and being restless for the Superiority at least an Equality with them For my part I know no sensible Woman who desires either It is enough for us to share the Government of a Family with you for which Nature design'd us and for which yoâ— ought to thank us and which we maâ— justly expect Some Inequality we concâ— between us but the nearest to Equality or any Degree that you can assign Our Governors you were constituted but not our Tyrants we were given you as Wives not Slaves and there can be no greater Indieation of Vanity than to pretend to an absolute Authority where you have no Right to any but what is limited and legal But above all things I stand amazed that the Gentleman should charge on our Sexes Pride those Tragical Events which we are too often occasion'd by the same Vice in his own Can we prevent our Lovers Quarrels which the 〈◊〉 it self cannot Or can we favour all or may not the most Virtuous Modest and Discreâ—t Lady living be sometimes the innocent occasion of such Misrortunes or when the surious Rivals are engag'd would he have us like the Sabine Wives run between to part ' em And on this Head I must further add That if Men were but so peaceable and quiet of such soft such tender and compassionate Dispositions as we generally speaking must be own'd to be or lastly of such forgiving pardoning Tempers it is certain there would not be so much War and Bloodshed such Piracy by Sea and Ravage by Land so many great and small Robbers and Murtherers as now oppress and distract
Destructions Where will your Malice end and what can keep pace with it but your Pride and Vanity Wou'd you give us once some Infallible Mark to know you from your selves I mean what parts of you are Real and what Ascititious and Unnatural for 't is the oddest Idolatry in the World to bow down to the Excrements of a Worm to adore Spanish VVool and Chalk and Vermilion What a high degree of Pride is it to find Fault with what Nature has made you to mend the Work of the great Artificer So Scandalous and Ill-sounding a Practice that I 'd fain hope most Honest and Virtuous Women were now asham'd on 't And yet tho' there 's few of your Sex but find it necessary to pretend at least to those Characters how many of 'em are there who lay it on as thick on their own Faces as the old Painters did on the Copies of others you wou'd think they made use of a Trowel instead of a Pencil and make such strong Work you were almost as good touch a new-plaister'd Wall as one of their Faces Either you are already as handsome as you think your selves or as errand Dowdies as every Whoremaster thinks his own VVife or else indifferent a Layr of one with t'other neither Foul enough to have the same Effect with Antimony on touching you nor so wickedly Charming as to drive your poor Vassals to Hemp and Daggers and in which soever of these Forms you 'll rank your selves I see no need of this Dawbing nor what advantage you can propose by it If ynu are handsome already you may learn from all the Court Ladies who use it that Painting is the readiest way to make you Grandams before your times you must expect to look old at least Twenty Years sooner 'T is like mending deep ways with Dirt you must be perpetually laying on Load after Load or the unfashionable VVrinkles will devour all your Labour You know your selves it poisons the Skin and ruins the Complexion and yet you 'll not be beat off on 't so fond you are of mending Nature and of a Beauty that can endure neither Fire nor Air Heat nor Rain which lasts not so long as a Flower 's and which as it soon withers it self so will wither you too when it leaves you If you are Indifferent be contented and thank Nature for neither having made you a Monster of Deformity nor Beauty For your Gigantick Beauty is certainly monstrous in Execss as well as others in Defect and like the poor Gyants in Romances must be sure to be Mown o'rethwart or Cleft downright sooner than any in all the Army Since then you have already all you can reasonably desire and are in a more happy Condition than either of the Extreams for what reason is' t that you 'd venture such an Alteration as must by Turns expose ye to both the Opposite Inconveniences You 'll at first it may be think you look very Charming which will loo all the real or supposed Beauties about your Ears and She Paints is the Word of Battle which they 'll all whisper round tho' they have it on so thick themselves that their Faces are like to stick to one another But after this aukard Flourish which it may be for a little while you may make by this Artificial Beauty you at last find your self on the sudden tumbling into the lowest Class of all that of Real Deformity And well remember'd for poor Dowdy who was in danger of being quite forgotten There she sits tearing her Face breaking her Glasses shovelling it on and rendring her self a thousand times more ghastly than when she was first Cubb'd Like the poor VVench that came to a Country Painter on a Fair-day resolving to be a little finer than Ordinary and gave the Fellow a Shilling to Paint her which the Rogue did with a Vengeance making her a blue Nose black Lips Green Cheeks scarlet Eyebrows and the rest proportionable that when she came abroad she scar'd all the Fair as if one of the Tygars or Lyons had broke loose amongst ' em And pray Madam why can't you be satisfy'd with all the Vggliness you were born with 'T was a fair Portion and one wou'd think you shou'd not be so over-covetous to augment it Nothing will ever go well that 's undertaken in spite of Nature The Beau may as well set up for a Philosopher the Bully for a General or your Holbourn-Heck for a Statesman or what 's next door to 't an Alderman as you be a Beauty without asking Nature leave and the more like you are without being one you are still the more deform'd Those Monkey Affectations will render you still more Ridiculous and Odious Endeavour then to set your Mind strait which is in your own Power make that well-complexion'd and beautiful and thus render your self desirable and amiable which you may obtain with more Certainty than if you had the finest Body in the World For after all Ladies nothing is more demonstrable than that 't is not a fine Face only that either obtains Love or preserves it which takes off your last Pretences for these Artificial Meliorations as you call 'em that you use 'em out of an honest Intent to get good Husbands or to hold fast their Hearts when you have 'em once in your Clutches Nothing of that will cure a rambling Mind the likeliest way to do it is by being quiet and obligeing which at least will make you your self more Easie and Happy But I forgot I had quarrell'd with your whole Sex for which Reason you ought not to expect to have any of this good Advice from me However I imagin 't will be much the same thing and that you are more VVomen than to make any use on 't William Answer to Letter XI In Defence of Artificial Beauty By Madam GODFREY YOur main Argument against our Sex in this particular proves too much and therefore nothing at all We cannot make use of a little innocent Art in order to please and oblige you and preserve your fickle hearts but you exclaim immediately that we are for quarrelling Nature that we are guilty of intolerable Pride and Vanity and discontented with him that made us And why do you not bring the same accusations against us for wearing Cloaths or such Colours as we find most become us as you your wigs according to your Complexion Deformity is not Nature and consequently one that endeavours to hide her crookedness for Example only strives to conceal what is unnatural to throw that behind the scenes which wou'd not so well bear a publick view Nature it self endeavours to hide whatever is undecent and unseemly If we do the same we only imitate her and you cannot blame us for it without great Injustice But you will perhaps say what is all this to Painting and Dawbing our Faces at which you are so highly displeas'd Yes it affects even that so much that it takes off your greatest objection
they say has not been without President How sweetly how innocently wou'd he live amongst ' em And if he shou'd happen to die there like the She-Monk already mention'd how many Ehs and squeeks wou'd the poor Nuns make when they went to lay him out and made the Discovery ' Twou'd be well if Mother Abbess her self did not come running in as once before with the Fryar's Breeches about her Shoulders to see what was the matter What caution soever is us'd in these concerns something or other will now and then break out to the Scandal of Mother Church and Diversion of us Hereticks whence we can't help concluding that how Angelical soever their Profession may be their Practice is just like that of other pieces of Flesh and Blood that other French Nuns may be like those who have bin discover'd to be no better then they shou'd be and that the Nuns of France may be of a piece with those throughout all the World If this be thought too Uncharitable a Censure we 'll find out another way for Nature to work for it self for it can't be perfectly unactive as long as there 's Heat and Motion We 'll believe then that all their Fish-ponds are not stock'd at the same rate and that they don't all kill their Children because they han't occasion for 't But then they often kill themselves and one can scarce tell which is worse They see Visions and Revelations are fill'd with new Light and Prophecy commence all Pazzis and Julians and Bridgets and Kates are Canoniz'd and Pray'd to and their Lives enter'd in their glorious Legends to the encouragement of Catholicks and confusion of Infidels and all this because the Blast works upward Progenies coeli est conscia Flammina futuri I ask your Pardon Ladies for that scrap of that Beastly Language which slipt from me before I was aware but as big as it sounds your learned Advocate Anonyma who yoaked me so hard in defence of your Topknots can easily tell you the meaning on 't which on the word of an honourable Enemy is no manner of hurt and nothing else but an end of Hudibras before recited though dress'd so fine that he himself would hardly know it Once more pardon for this digression which if you do not give me presently I must be forced to make another as long to excuse it But I think we were talking of Enthusiasm which if any of your Sex inclines to Devotion will be sure to have a large share in it It Commands in you all but it Reigns it Triumphs in a Cloister where either Guilt or Weakness makes People Superstitious gives 'em false Notions of Religion and wild and extravagant Fancies making 'em all Spiritual Then perpetual poring on their Lives of Saints and old musty Legends gives 'em a strong Byass that way makes 'em all Spiritual Don Quixots and sets 'em agog for some redoubted Adventure in their Religious sort of Knight Errantry which they themselves confess have been the Original of several of their Orders particularly of good St. Loyola's whose Peaceable and disinterested Society have been ever since they were first cubb'd so great a Blessing to the World But what 's all this you 'll perhaps answer to the English Ladies You know we are good Protestants and renounce Nunneries and all their works except their Point and pretty Pictures and shou'd not care to be of any Order amongst 'em except we might either be Gallopping Nuns or But 't would be enough to reply that impartial Justice falls without respect on all your Sex of whatever Age or Countrey or Religion and these Nunneries being what you so much boast of to shew you can live without us they deserved that particular notice which I have taken of ' em Nor is that all for you your selves you Protestant Ladies who have renounced all venial Sins and Confessions and no more believe Virginity the most excellent state of Life than you believe Transubstantiation even you have lately had a serious proposal to make a Schism among your Sex set up Protestant Nunneries and exclude your selves from the World The surest way I must confess to procure you Husbands But if you design any thing else 't is easie to shew how widely you 'd be mistaken To say nothing of the pleasantness of the Proposal how seriously soever it might be intended and not to enquire whether or no 't would be practicable to set up a new Society of St. Cyr here in England or what Discipline could possibly be observed amongst 'em or if they did voluntarily enter into a mutual compact how many Moons 't would be before their Minds would change and they 'd be all dispatch'd again and ranging the Commons of Nature as wildly as ever not to trouble you I say with any thing of this nature there 's one or two Reasons which I shall ingenuously acknowledge prevails most with me and determines me to perswade you against such a course of life one is for your own sake and the other for ours As for your selves you know the Customs of your Countrey won't allow you such comfortable Confessors in those melancholy places as you might have in foreign Countries As for our Sex I am only concerned as in the case before-mentioned lest your abused Patience should be turned into Madness and we should be all in danger if like some new Goths and Vandals you made an Irruption into our Territories but least our own Sex too when you kept your selves thus charily should be tempted to think there was something precious in you and meerly from the natural desire after what 's forbidden should relapse from our Original Reason and again learn to esteem and value that Trifle Woman JOHN PRESTON Answer to LETTER XXVIII In Defence of Nunneries By Madam Lake I Wonder what Fit of Ingenuity has lately possess'd our angry Antagonist that he so fairly confesses in this Letter that the very Reason of his being against our inclosing our selves in Nunneries is least for that very Cause he should be more passionately enamour'd of us It is not only Women then I perceive who are eagerly desirous of what is forbidden them and that for no other Reason But yet we would be so civil to this Gentleman altho' our declar'd Enemy that we are willing to own his Ingenuity has had a resembling Effect upon us we are not wholly proof against so much Good-nature and we must acknowledge if any thing could make us out of Love with Nunneries it would be the very same Reason that he brings against 'em For fear they should make him too violently in Love with us For what Pity would it be that a hopeful Gentleman in the Flower of his Manhood the Ripeness of his Experience and the sedatest Years of his Life should be seiz'd with all those inexcusable Tricks of Youth that he talks of and fall a scaling the Hesperian Gardens to rob them of their golden Fruit while the old Dragonist lay snoring
purely out of Crossness and for the sake of dear Variety You will you will not you doat you scorn you hate you love by turns and all in a quarter of an hour Those who compare you to the Moon are hardly so near the Truth as she is to the Earth for she changes but once a Month and we know when to expect it but your Circle is much shorter and all the Flamsteds in the World cou'd never give us your exact Theory One great Benefit however this is to Mankind that you can scarce be resolv'd even in Mischief at least Variety pleases there too and you are in search of another before you 've finish'd the former 'T is said our Nation is richer in Humour than any it Europe and tho' the Stage has large Supplies from it yet it can never be exhausted If it be so Ben. Johnson stands fairest for Treasurer tho' he need not have gone farther than any one of his Merry Wives of Windsor to have employ'd him all his Life He needed but have shown one Face in one Play to have had sufficient Variety The Vulgar are apt to stare at strange Customs and Habits and shou'd there happen to meet in the Exchange but one Person of every several Dress in the World 't wou'd be thought a very odd medley There 's this and more in Women they are all Rainbow in their Minds whatever colour their Faces or rather it 's a Scandal on that more beautiful and stable Meteor to be compar'd with them for that remains fix'd as long as the Sun and Clouds that make it Nay tho' the Rain is but successive and new drops are still a falling that unites it self with 'em all and is still immoveable nor do's it so much as shift its Colours but the blue and red and green and yellow and that lovely mixture of 'em all which we can scarce describe remain in the same Order when it begins to faint and wither as they did when it first appear'd or shin'd in its greatest Glory But what 's all this to Women Truly not much for they are quite the contrary They are all shift and alteration have the perpetual motion in their Minds as well as Heads and think it as ridiculous to stay long in the same Opinion as in the same Gown or Toppings or to have the same Lover And there indeed is the Cream of your Constancy for you are as Remarkable for your stability in Love as you are in Vertue Forsaken Lovers we are to believe are only Tales invented by the malicious the unfortunate and the undeserving So that we durst not think so unworthily of your Sex as that you 'd suffer a Person of Merit to languish or that any of you cou'd prove false to him or forsake him had we not almost as many Instances of it as we have of such Lovers who after all perhaps ought to made Examples because by their own they infect others with the same Folly She that has not a new Amour to appear in once a Month is as Melancholy as a poor Girl at a Country Wake that 's taken out to Dance without a new Wastcoat 'T is well the World is not now much in the Humour of dying for Love if it were what wou'd you have to Answer for And how many Graves wou'd you tread on of your own making And how many Lovers Ghosts wou'd haunt you and upbraid you with your Infidelity and their Ruine And yet after all why shou'd you not be constant Is' t because you have no Notion of it or think there 's no Pleasure in 't Do but try it and you 'll soon understand it and own how much you have been mistaken If Constancy and Fidelity are in themselves very Noble and Charming Vertues why shou'd they not become a Woman And how far wou'd they out-weigh the Satisfaction you receive in the empty Vanity of seeing every day a new Adorer Who is there that can read the stories of Ancient Friendships tho' some of 'em perhaps Fabulous without Motions of Admiration and Love Of inviolable Faith of Women to their Lovers Ladies to their Husbands and the like which you hardly believe all Romances and why if they are worthy Admiration why not too of your Imitation unless because Constancy is render'd almost impossible t' ye by the Levity of your Tempers and by a contrary Habit For when you do once get into the Humour you have all of you Resolution enough to make Ephesian Matrons I shou'd Discourse too a little with you concerning your Constancy to your own Sex in your most Sacred Professions of Friendship But you have one Convenience more than we and that is that you are all upon the Square Cheat that Cheat can is your Motto and there 's no Deceit or Infidelity ever lost amongst you Thomas Harcourt Answer to LETTER XXXIII By Madam H I 'M sensibly touch'd with Commiseration for this poor Gentleman whom I perceive has receiv'd a Wound from one of those Proteus's he speaks of who having thrown her Granado into his Heart it has in the breaking much damnified his Brain sure nothing less cou'd excuse this great perturbation that obstructs his Discerning Faculty else why might not he as well as others acknowledge all things must obey this Fatal Law of Change Not to mention more remote Instances I 'll go no farther than your self who 've no doubt chang'd from Infancy to Youth and 't is to be hop'd have chang'd your Ignorance to a little Understanding and 't may be a Hobby-Horse for a Mistress your Innocence for some experienc'd Evil your Money for many changeable Trifles nay to shew you how impossible 't is to avoid change consider but your Respiration you 'll find every puff of Breath you send out changes Atoms with what we receive And now I hope I 've said enough for your Conviction let me pray but recommend one Change to you which will be much for your ease do but change from a to a wise Man and then I 'll engage the Inconstancy of Women will never trouble you A. H. LETTER XXXIV Being a second Answer to Mr. Harcourt's Letter concerning Womens Inconstancy wherein is proved That Women are more Constant than Men. By Ephelia THrough the Universal Charity and Good Will I bear to my fellow-Creatures indifferently of either Sex I have been willing to hope that one day Men wou'd become such lovers of Truth and Justice and so free from the Natural Prejudices of Self-love as to allow of and be pleased with the many good Qualities in ours and leave off their malicious and groundless Reproaches tho' I think I may be allowed to speak in the Defence of oppressed Innocency since I see there 's but little probability of a change in our Enemies for one can hardly pass a Bookseller's Shop without seeing something upon the Stall against us nor be in a Conversation but some of the wou'd be Wits must ridicule our Sex 't is even