for ever-Blessed Eternity O my Soul let us not follow our own Fancy but serve God in what manner he will have us by a perfect resignation of our selves to his good pleasure The Eternal Song of the Saints in Heaven was the subject of my fourth Prayer I consider'd with great delight that all the Angels and Glorious Saints shall Eternally Glorifie the adorable Trinity with this Sacred Trisagion Holy Holy Holy Lord God of Sabbath Me-thought the first of the Seraphins began this Anthem with an admirable Air and all the Choirs of Angels joyn'd their Voices all Singing with a Tone more or less elevated proportion'd to the degree they possess in Glory And this innumerable multitude of Angelical Voices made a most Melodious and admirable Harmony wherewith the Divine Persons were much delighted It came into my thoughts that the Sacred Humanity of Jesus Christ the noblest of all created Entities the Sacred Virgin Mother of God and Queen of Angels with all the multitude of Holy Patriarchs Prophets Apostles Martyrs Confessors and Virgins did bear a part in this Sacred Harmony with great contentment And my Soul being much delighted therewith desir'd to Glorifie God as much as possible I saw that the Church Militant in a Holy emulation of the Church Triumphant did use to the Glory of the most Sacred Trinity a like Canticle repeating in her Divine Offices on all occasions Gloria Patri Filio Spiritui Sancto Glory be to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Ghost And so Heaven and Earth did Eccho forth incessantly the Glory of the adorable Trinity I heartily wish'd that all Creatures had Voices to Praise God continually and with much affection I often repeated Glory be to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Ghost Tribus honor unus Amen Tenth Day THis day beginning my Prayer I felt my Soul prevented with an extraordinary Sweetness I represented my God in the fund of my Heart as my Beloved and I return'd him Thanks for his manifold Visits My Disposition was then as a Spiritual Spring-time I scented the Odour of the Flowers of Virtue perfuming my Interiour and I made thereof a Crown for the Bridegroom of my Soul and set it on his Head and he seem'd to be much pleas'd with it and my Soul took great complacency therein I observ'd that when the Spiritual Bridegroom comes to Visit his Spouse whether it be in the Holy Communion or by any Visit extraordinary 't is with different effects Sometimes the Soul is as it were inebriated with Divine Love at other times she has a feeling of great variety of Virtues wherewith the Interiour is Beautified as a Garden with Flowers The Soul is is not then taken up solely with the Sweets of Love but being adorned with variety of Virtues sometimes she presents this sometimes that sometimes altogether to her Beloved My second Prayer was a continuation of the same Thoughts And I perceived that every step the Divine Bridegroom of our Souls made in the Garden of his Spouse gave a new Birth to different Flowers This is no small contentment to the Soul but what ought most to affect her herein is that her Beloved is pleas'd to take with her his recreation who delights to be sometimes with the Children of men Then 't is He refreshes us with the Perfumes and Odours of his Graces as Glorified and we must give our selves up to his Divine Will Other times he Visits a Soul in this Crucified state bringing with him nothing but Thorns and Nails and Bitterness and Sufferings But a Soul must not think that her Beloved is not then well pleas'd with her because of this rough usage for this is his Will and 't is best for her I was much astonish'd to see the excess of Gods goodness to me who deserv'd to have been treated as an enemy But he was pleas'd to unite me to himself with such ravishing transports as transcend expression O that I had a heart so full of love as might be answerable to the greatness of his Mercies vouchsafed unto me O Jesus the Love of my Heart if you continue thus I shall die of Love for you O amorous flames consume my heart to ashes that nothing may be found there but Love and Humility O my Friends come and see what great things God has done for my Soul My third Prayer was taken up with the amiable Communications that the most Sacred Trinity is pleas'd to have with our Souls The Divine Nature unites the three adorable Persons in the Sacred Trinity The Person of the Son unites two Natures in Jesus And Grace unites Jesus to purified Souls And this unions of Grace and Love is perfected by exercises of Prayer and wonderful communication in contemplation This union sometimes is so high and elevated that Jesus and the Soul seem to be but one thing one Spirit one Knowledge one Love and is in a manner the Soul of our Soul And in this state she Glorifies God in a transcendent way being wonderfully united to that Love and Glory Jesus renders to the Divinity and the Divinity to it self The design of the Son of God by communicating himself to us in the Blessed Sacrament is to augment this gracious union that as he Prayed to his Father we may be one as they are one By which wonderful union he gives unto us a fulness of Grace and Divine Love imprinting on us unless we be refractory the like inclinations he received from his Father to keep us continually united to him by Love and Honour him with the grateful Sacrifice of our Humiliations My last Prayer was an amorous repose of my self in Jesus Finding my self in this disposition I dwelt upon it knowing well that a Soul united to Jesus is transformed into him by amorous affections and so Glorifying God does Love and Honour and Adore the Divinity by the Love and Adoration of Jesus Christ The Soul in this amorous repose finds all her wants supply'd As Courage in Adversity Humility in Successes Perseverance in Good Actions and Grace to practice all those Virtues which God commands on all occasions By how much the more the Soul is thus amorously united to Jesus in Prayer by so much the more does she participate of his Spirit and Dispositions and consequently is more in love with the Cross and Sufferings To have union with Jesus Christ in Prayer and to be divided from him in our Life and Actions is an illusion for one principal effect of pure Prayer is to imprint in us a love to follow the Life of Jesus There now comes into my mind an excellent Observation of a Father of the Church That the Holy Spirit having visibly descended to us as well as the Son did not as the Son visibly return to Heaven but takes up his Mansion with us here on Earth to unite our hearts with our Heavenly Father as in the Divinity he is the union of the Father and the Son
Divinity O how great is the dignity of pure Souls when they Communicate O how low and abject are all the Grandeurs of the World They are a meer Nothing compared with this For what Glory is comparable to that of a Soul intimately united with the Supream Being My God how delightful and transporting is the sight of the Wonders and profound Secrets wrapt up in your Mysteries how they penetrate the Soul you disclose them to This Union with Jesus in Communion is inessable For as the Father and the Son are one in Unity of Essence the Word and Humane Nature one in Unity of Person so the Soul that is one in Jesus partakes of both the Unions Divine and Humane Jesus is in her according to both his Natures and she is All in Jesus and while she does all things in him he works all in her he Prayes Adores Loves Suffers Labours insomuch that this perfect Union produces a certain Unity between God Jesus and the Soul and between all their operations It settles a kind of Partnership and Community of Goods and Possessions between them In a word it imports more than can be expressed Now this condition must needs be most Holy and Divine where God works in the Soul and the Soul in God In me manet ego in eo And the Alliance between them grows continually streighter and closer proportionably to her increasings in Virtue in this Life and receives its ultimate Perfection only in Heaven O amiable Jesus with what a profusion of Goodness and Love you entertain our Souls in this Sacrament You conceal your Presence under the External Species to give us occasion and advantage to exercise our Faith which beholds you so much more clearly as you are more secretly and obscurely present Again on the other side you manifest and shew your self by innumerable effects of your Grace and Divine Sentiments which you breath in the Soul to excite and exercise our Love What can a Soul do when she sees her self so prevented so convinced so pressed by evident instances and experimental proofs of your endless and unwearied Bounty What can she do but Love Love without stint render Love for Love how many excellent things might be said upon this Subject But how can those Sentiments be expressed that can hardly be conceived CHAP. XI The fourth Effect of Communion is to Confer the highest Love OFtentimes before and after Communion I was taken up with Contemplating the Perfections of God Which being one and the same in themselves yet they are different in our manner of conception and the verity of their effects Now when any one of them discovers it self it appears in full Beauty and Majesty and all the other seem to sink in to it and lend all their Ornaments and Excellence to increase its Lustre An instance hereof we have in the Blessed Sacrament where the Divine Love displayes all its Magnificence and the other Attributes contribute to that design the brightest of their Charms and Perfections Eternity Immensity Wisdom Omnipotence Justice Mercy and whatsoever is most eminent and adorable in the Divine Nature are present there and attend upon the triumph of Love Each of these Perfections espouse the Interests and put on the Inclinations of Love which are Liberality and Magnificence and accordingly operate in a Soul when Love makes his triumphant entry at the time of Communion For Love as its proper effect produceth in the Soul a reciprocal Love Eternity imprints continuance and perseverance Immensity spreads the Affection and gives it an unbounded extent wisdom sheds round about a Super-natural Light to guide its good purposes and illustrate the ways of Virtue Omnipotence inspires an invincible strength to surmount all difficulties and obstacles Thus in Communion a Soul does not only receive the impressions of Love but of Love attended with the Lustre and Excellencies of all the Divine Perfections It is observable that Jesus Christ together with his Eternal Father sent the Holy Ghost upon the Apostles to replenish them with Love in the same place where he had given them Himself in the Sacrament So that this Divine Sanctuary was chosen two several times to be the Theater where the two greatest Actions of Love were represented that ever the goodness of God exhibited out of himself The first in giving us his Son to reside in our Hearts who from all Eternity rests in his own Bosom and thereby enabling us to live Divinely by him as he lives by his Father The second in sending on us the adorable Spirit of the Father and the Son to be the knot of the Eternal Espousals of the Soul with her God to Beautify her with his In created Light to warm her with his Sacred Flames to animate her with his Heavenly Force and Virtue and in a word to render her entirely Spiritual And both these Actions are perpetuated in the Holy Church when at the same time we are Feasted with the precious Body of the Son of God and inebriated with the Spirit of his Love O who can conceive the admirable Commerce and Caresses that are interchanged between Jesus Christ and pure Souls in this Divine Sacrament The World which discerns nothing but by meditation of the Senses is too gross and stupid to comprehend them It thinks that Souls which are escaped from its snares and dis-engaged from its business lead an idle and unprofitable Life it fancies they do nothing because their Actions are not seen that their Fire is extinguished because it does not blaze in the eyes of Men. But on the contrary they resemble those Mountains full of Sulpher which carry vast Globes of Fire in their Bosomes though they break out but at certain times and then they are not only seen but whole Provinces feel the Conflagrations Towns and Villages are Burned and Fields covered with Ashes In like manner those retired Souls which burn inwardly with Divine Love and for the most part shine only to God and themselves yet when the command and service of the Lord excite them to External Duties they produce such extraordinary Effects that numbers of Souls are set on fire with their Virtues Example and Instructions In this kind we have had many great Servants of God who having conceived a thousand good desires in their retirement and inflamed with Heavenly fire by the frequent use of the most Holy Communion issue from their retreat and this Sacred Table like Lyons breathing nothing but flames and setting all on fire about them Such have made the great Conversions of Sinners changed the face of whole Provinces and Kingdoms and all this performed only by one or a small number of such Servants of God who appeared so powerful in Works and Words that all their Actions seemed to be so many Miracles Here we must observe that this Interiour Fire in a person not sufficiently retired within himself or that from time to time is not careful to lay on more Fewel to nourish it I mean to
secret Orders well known to her self and walks Peaceably in the pursuance of those Affairs which have immediate relation to God And is content also to be extroverted by Secular Affairs as Goods and Honours to serve our Corporal necessities and help our Neighbours But 't is God present in us that sets a a Soul on work by his Orders and necessary Instructions 1. We must undertake no business yea not good works without a Mission that is without some Interiour Call from God And therefore it concerns us to have recourse to him by Prayer to know his will least we do what he does not require of us 2 When we know that God sets us on work we ought to be very faithful in the performance of it I observe that affairs of obligation do not distract our Introversion 3. We must acknowledge our insufficiency to bring our endeavours to a Happy issue 'T is the Sun that makes the Plants to grow to blossom and fructifie and not the Gardiner that sets and waters them In like manner 't is the Grace of God that makes our endeavours prosperous Paul may plant and Apollo may water but God gives the increase 4 To regulate the times of our Exercises without which the Soul will languish and grow feeble Charity well order'd begins at home I must not for others neglect the most important affair of my own Salvation O my God when I am in the privation of the sensible sweets of your presence and find a dryness on my Soul it seems to me not hard to bear it But when I am ravish'd with enjoyment to be call'd from it to mind other business this seems to me more difficult and mortifying We may strive to have the like content in other affairs but our infirm condition will not suffer it and do what we can we fall short of the sweets of such enjoyment It remains then to make an excellent act of abnegation and by an amorous resignation of our will to Gods make it our contentment to have no other contentment than Gods good pleasure who will not have us to be disturb'd to want enjoyment And thus we offer up to God an excellent Sacrifice seeing we give to God what is most dear and precious to us by dying to our selves to live to him I am therefore resolv'd to fall a working without troubling my Spirit too much with the Ideas of Affairs that I may still conserve an actual endeavour to practice on divers occasions and maxims of Christianity and Evangelical Councils by self-denyal and a love of Sufferings for Christs sake And if I continue in this Spirit of Sacrifice and entire abnegation it will make me content with that little Service God requires of me being unworthy by reason of my sins to be advanced to greater performances He is indeed our Soveraign Lord and he may be do with his Creatures what he pleases But whatever we undertake let us have a care to do our works for God with purity of intention and in ill successes to have a Spirit of resignation which may prove to us of more worth than the conversion of Souls When we are in the heat of our Affairs it much concerns us not to let them deface in our Soul the incomparable Idea of the Interiour of Jesus which is the Copy we must endeavour to write after in imitation whereof we always find sufficient matter of glorifying God which is the only pretention we ought to have both for Time and Eternity In this Abiss of Perfections I find how to behave my self in Prayer in Action in Affairs in Contempts in Temptations in Aridities in Disconsolations And without the Idea of this Divine Interiour we do but blunder in the way to Perfection and seek our own esteem and excellency There are in Spiritual Persons three sorts of Purity 1. Purity of Conscience 2. Purity of Virtue 3. Purity of Perfection Whoever is careful to avoid sin even those that proceed from Frailty has purity of Conscience Those who on all occasions practice Virtue without a mixture of nature have Purity of Virtue And those who being divested entirely of themselves and the creatures endeavour purely to practice the perfect acts of Virtue are arrived to the purity of Perfection By these degrees of Purity we may discover the different states of Virtuous Souls CHAP. VIII The presence of God brings us into a disesteem of other things AFter God has manifested himself to a Soul making her to see that he is all the Soul enamour'd on this adorable presence takes no rest but in him finding her self ill at ease without him who is all in all unto her O how Powerful is this Divine Idaea to withdraw a Soul from all Creatures that she may be united to her all How does she happily loose her self in this great all O my God says she how true is it that you are all and I am nothing Dear Lord what can we do for you You are all and have no need of our goods Of the all of our Souls how little are you known and beloved I know not what men intend in not having their thoughts taken up about him who is our all Where art thou O my Soul when thou art not in this all Without doubt thou art in nothing for as long as thou art in thy self or in the Creatures thou art in the depth of nothingness The content I have in that God is all is more as it seems to me for him then my self For my joy is to know him to be what he is before I was any thing O great all be you for ever what you are and that you shall be our all everlastingly does comfort and ravish me I see that God is not only all but that all Glory all Grandeur all Beatitude is in him neither loses he any thing by his communications to his Creatures He takes infinite Pleasure to do good to them by his mercy and no less content is he to punish them by his Justice because they deserve it for nothing can disturb his happiness O what Felicity is it to a Soul that loves God purely to be assured that God shall be infinitely happy to all Eternity and that no malice of man can alter his Beatitude Such a Soul is greatly pleased to consider the contentment God takes to make her live to make her die to keep her in Health or in Sickness to supply her Corporal necessities and furnish her Interiour with all Graces For God draws great Glory to himself by all his Creatures Be comforted then O my Soul and be not disconsolate seeing that God is always happy Be not troubled for any thing seeing that every thing which torments thee may bring Glory to God Do not value any thing but God alone seeing in his presence the most excellent Creatures are as pure nothings Tanquam nihilum ante te 'T is easie and pleasant for a Soul to value nothing in the presence of God she finds in
to require it of us My third Prayer pass'd on in these Thoughts that the most Sacred Trinity being Eternally Knowledge and Love Substantial my Soul ought to endeavour to produce in her self an actual knowledge and love of God the better to resemble this adorable Trinity A Soul in the state of Contemplation renders this honour to God in a more peculiar manner enjoying God by the guift of Prayer in as transcendent a manner as Mortality permits 'T is true the prospect I have of this Divine Life here below draws my Soul Powerfully after it and I love it better than formerly But I see that to persevere therein we must be very poor in Spirit that is not only free from exorbitant Passions but all distracting Images which pass by the senses that are not Mortified News attended with curiosity or the eyes attached to sensible objects or such like immortifications fill the Soul with unprofitable Images which make her uncapable of Divine impressions by corresponding to which we most benefit our selves and most glorifie God In my fourth Prayer I was taken up with a view of those amorous complacencies and those Infinite joyes wherewith the three Divine Persons replenish the Souls of the blessed in Heaven It seem'd to me that the Happiness of the Saints was the clear vision of the Ineffable Mystery of the most Sacred Trinity and to be made partakers of that knowledge and love which is reciprocal among the Divine Persons To see God clearly is the Beatifical Vision Alas how ought we to be humbled to consider how Infinitely we fall short in our Devotions of the continual Hallelujahs of the Saints in Glory Yet this is the end of our Creation and our hope is at last to bear them company O how this life is poor and miserable where all is vanity and vexation of Spirit The view of my own weakness making me sensible that all I do for God is as nothing what shall I say at the sight of my sins and unworthiness I have nothing to say dear Lord but that I merit Eternal Confusion which must needs fall upon me unless your goodness have pity on me according to the greatness of your Mercies Can we imagine we can do any thing too much for God 'T is for the glory of his Bounty and Goodness that he is pleas'd to accept of our small service and endeavours and reward them eternally O how great a Truth is it that Grace and Glory are the effects of his pure Goodness and Mercy vouchsafed to us Blessed be his Name to all Eternity Third Day IN my first Prayer of this day I consider'd that the three Divine Persons were Happy in Contemplation of themselves from all Eternity When they created the World the Preservation and Government thereof does not at disturb their repose and Felicity The Father is the center of the Son and the Father and the Son is the center of the Holy Ghost Three in One and one in Three Infinitely Happy in each other before all Time and shall be to all Eternity O what ravishing Beauties do they behold in each other and what unspeakable Delights do they take in ther Infinite Perfections Nothing without them can interrupt their Joys or add to their Happiness Tho true Solitaries who live the Life of God in like manner repose only in him and being dead to themselves and all Creatures live only in him to him and for him O Divine Life of Solitude Thou art here begun on Earth and canst not be perfected but in Heaven A true Hermits life is not a Sensual but Divine Life God calling me to Contemplation I will repare to Church as to a Hermitage where I may live this Divine Life The Psalmody there much rejoyces my heart and lifts up my Soul to Contemplation Through Natural Considerations I have condescended to please others against my own inclination but now I have the Happiness to converse with the three Divine Persons I can no more relish the Company of my Friends and Relations except rarely to maintain Peace and Union or for some great necessity and if they be displeas'd I must not value it My second Prayer was an amorous attention upon what past Eternally among the three Divine Persons How the Father knowing his Divine Perfections did beget his Son and how the Father and the Son by an Infinite Love did produce the Holy Ghost The Father is an Infinite Ocean of Perfections by an Infinite Fecundity begetting his Son and they being absorpt in each other produce the Holy Spirit by an everlasting flux and reflux of Love This I did contemplate with great repose of Soul and yielded up the Intellectual Powers thereof to the obedience of Faith to receive some Rayes of Divine Light about such great and Incomprehensible Mysteries God then working in my Soul I became passive contenting my self to behold simply and sweetly the Infinite operations of the Sacred Trinity and said within my self Blessed Trinity know your selves for I can do nothing towards it 't is enough for me to contemplate that mutual Love which is among you which I believe and admire with adoration It seems to me that no other Mystery of our Faith can so take up and content my Soul nothing being more Divine than the Divinity No other practice is so charming to me we being created to know that Knowledge and to love that Love which God has to himself to all Eternity In my third Prayer I consider'd the Souls of Just Men and Blessed Spirits are as so many Sacred Vessels into whom God infuses his love and knowledge by a continual emanation Which love and knowledge returns to God its source as the water of a running Fountain rises as high as the Spring from whence it had its Origen This love and knowledge does establish God in us and also does firmly establish us in God So that God takes a delight and repose in the Soul and the Soul finds her center and rest in him Thereby faintly representing how the Divine Persons have a mutual repose in each other Empty Vessels are most capable to be fill'd And by how much the more our Souls are empty of Self-love and Nature by so much the more are they capable of Divine Love and Knowledge A Soul in such a state delights in Solitude and cares not to live in the thoughts and affections of men What most saddens our Spirits and retards us in the ways of God is a natural aversion we have from a hidden life For man naturally desires to be known and lov'd and thinks life is as nothing without repute And as long as we are full of this liquor we are not vessels proper to receive the influences of Divine Love and Knowledge Let us O my Soul empty our selves of Self-love that Divine Love may take place in us In my fourth Prayer I found an amorous complacency in my Soul in that God being but One doth subsist in three Persons knowing and loving themselves
Comformity to all his States This Divine Light discovered to me a great many Verities very important for my direction and conduct 1. That we are never to be without Sufferings For the Spirit of Christianity is the Spirit of the Cross The Grace that feeds and supports it is the Fruit of the Cross and the adorable Bread so full of Delights inspires no other Sentiments then those of the Cross Venite mittamus lignum in Panem ejus 2. That as Jesus manifests the Purity of the Love he bears us by dying for us upon the Cross so ought we to prove the Sincerity of ours by nailing it to the Cross 3 That he worked our Salvation by the only means of Suffering Therefore it is a manifest deceit to hope that we can co-operate towards our Salvation by any other means than that of Suffering 4. That we must attend and harken very diligently to the Spirit of Jesus within us which of it self sometimes furnisheth us with Crosses of Providence or else inspires us to seek them of our selves We must embrace them all cheerfully or search them amorously 5. That no other Soul but what is in Love with Crosses can tast the ways of the Spirit and its Heavenly Sweetness For God who mixes the Pleasures of Worldlings with wormwood and Gall does often sweeten our Sufferings after an admirable manner Moreover I was taught in the Holy Communion that Jesus is a Sun which was Eclipsed during this transitory Life but now shines in Heaven full of Lustre and Glory And according to the measure Souls partake of his Eclipse and Darkness they shall proportionably share of his Splendours in Glory Why then flee we Poverty Contempt and the Cross For that which Eclipseth a Soul with Jesus Christ is the Seed of an Immense Glory in Heaven What is the reason that we see nothing but Crosses in Churches All the Altars are adorned with the Cross the Priest going to Celebrate weares the Cross in his Vestments while he is saying Mass while he is saying Mass he makes a great many Signs of the Cross when he is about to Communicate to us he first gives us his Benediction with the Sign of the Cross even the last Action he does holding the Blessed Sacrament in his Hand and ready to present it to us is forming the Sign of the Cross with the Sacred Host We are told also that in Antient times when Christians received it in their Hands they placed them in form of a Cross laying the Right Hand a Cross over the Left What can we learn from all this but that the Christian who Communicates ought to be Crucified and that as he receives his God among Crosses so he should take delight in passing his Life amongst Sufferings My Soul when shall I begin the practice of a Life wholly Crucified a throughly Christian and Supernatural Life When shall I love Poverty Contempt Affronts Injuries O my God that I might begin this very day to serve you and trample upon all the Sentiments of Nature which ought to be continually upon the Cross And therefore I ought not to be troubled at such things as impoverish and ruine me The more poor the more dead one is to the World I ought even exteriourly if People would believe me to live poorly and become vile and contemptible in the eyes of men following the example of Jesus Christ who lived thirty years in a Shop like a Servant Therefore it is my Duty to tend contrary to all that which the World with its Wisdom of the Flesh esteemeth And that suddenly for I am already grown Old and have not yet begun In becoming wretched according to the opinion of the World I shall answer the Grace of my Vocation who am called to Poverty and a Solitary Life I shall obtain Peace and become a man of Prayer Assist me with your Powerful Graces O Jesus and grant me Perseverance Let us follow Jesus O my Soul He from the very first instant of his Life walked like a Gyant in the ways of Humiliations and Sufferings the ways that his Father appointed him All his concern was to co-operate with his Fathers Eternal purposes which regarded himself Let us walk couragiously in the rough and Holy Paths which Jesus has traced out Let us not fear our Natural Weakness since he did not fear his Humanity but shew'd himself obedient even to Death and to the Death of the Cross Let us count every thing Folly that is contrary to this Wisdom and let us quit one for all every thing else to follow none but him CHAP. IX The second Effect of Communion is to Transform us THe following consideration after Communion entertained me long and continued a whole Morning That the principal Effect of Communion is to produce in us an intimate Union with Jesus This Union is a perfect Assimulation to his States and Mysteries And this Assimulation is the same thing which they call a Transformation into God and renders a person wholly Divine and devoted to the Interests of God insomuch that by Grace he becomes Divine as having no other Inclinations then those of God living by the Life of God and desiring nothing but the Love and Glory of God In this sight which appeared to me very clear I beheld the lowness and imperfections of such Sentiments and Actions as are meerly Natural I wondered at the blindness of men who set such a value upon an operation of Nature though it be of it self so infinitely vile and contemptible It seems they never understood the importance of advancing towards Perfection with all their sorce nor the miserable condition of an imperfect Soul This Light wonderfully separated me from Imperfection and I am now as full of Horror of it as I was formerly full of Sin It seemed to me that Jesus who so prodigiously debaseth himself in the Blessed Sacrament by a Miracle of Love of Mercy and of incomparable bounty did thus excite me to rise from Nature to Grace and and from a Humane to a Super-natural Life Towards which I felt in my self such strong Inclinations and such powerful Obligations by my frequent Communions that I had rather have died than have passed one moment of my Life in the state of Nature We ought to tend incessantly to the Purity of Jesus and if to enter into it more readily and more perfectly one must quit Honours Goods and Friends let us quit them my Soul and take in their places Poverty Contempts and Pains The Purity of Virtue charms me and animates me to pursue it I do not find any Creatures that I do not willingly abandon nor any difficulty that I do not easily conquer O my God separate me by your Holy Grace from every thing which hinders this Divine Transformation and grant that I may cease to be what I am according to Nature that I may become what you are by the power of Grace When shall I be wholly united and transformed into you When shall
a Prayer of Desires which I may call a Hungring after God For my intellectual Will had a strong Appetite for God without any Production of other particular Acts of Love or Complacency c. as when we have a longing after Nourishment without a Desire of this or that but only we have a hungry Disposition In this state the Soul only Thirsts after God as known by Faith in a general manner This Prayer was very Intellectual my Natural Appetite had rarely any part in it I neither sent up Sighs nor Ejaculations and it seem'd to me to be compatible with some Affairs and did continue though the Soul had Distractions in the imagination and understanding Methought this Prayer was wholly Spiritual for I know not how it came into my Soul nor what it did there only I felt a Hungring and Thirsting after God and it seem'd to me that I might still hunger after him though I did possess him This Prayer may be of long durance without breaking the Brain but we must be dead to Nature whilst it continues I felt also in my self a Hungring after the states of Jesus Christ the possession whereof is absolutely necessary to the Purity of Love and Infallibly disposes us to it Whosoever desires pure Love must have a desire of them also the one not subsisting without the other Therefore at present instead of fearing Poverty I desire it Instead of Fearing to Suffer I have Inclinations to it And my delight is to take my Cross and follow Jesus This kind of Prayer did appease Interiour Combates and Struglings in me and I found in my self some assurance of a Suffering Humble state where God will have us live purely of Him and for Him What is more purely for God than that which has nothing of self in it Grace carries us to a Love of Poverty and what seems contrary to our particular good which we relinquish voluntarily that we may advance the sole Interests of God A Soul that lives this Life lives in Purity of Love and participates of the pure Virtues of Jesus Christ O what generous Resolutions must a Soul have to Love God purely She must deny her self to please God only There 's no living a Life of Grace without a continual violence to our natural Inclinations by taking up our Cross to follow Jesus We confess O good Jesus that except your Grace always prevent and follow us we shall never relish well this Sacred Hunger of Sufferings and Humiliations and Poverty which is some small participation of your Abjections It often comes to pass that God who opens his Liberal hand to fill all Creatures with his Blessings is pleas'd to satisfie this hunger he has rais'd in a Soul by communicating himself to her in such a manner that she finds her self wholly contented and full of God This fulness of God being once tasted the Soul is ravish'd with Joy and Sweetness This disposition sometimes so totally possesses all the Powers of the Soul Understanding Will Memory Imagination that there 's no room for other Thoughts to enter being wholly taken up with God Prayer then is a feeling of God filling the Heart with Joy and Contentment O when will it please your Infinite Goodness to infuse into Souls some little participation of this Fulness that they may purely rejoyce in you who only can give us this satisfaction This is a satisfying Fulness indeed that leaves no place for other desires This Prayer is rarely granted unless to Souls much mortified and well advanced in the ways of God For a Soul must be emptyed of all Creatures before God can fill it When a Soul finds her self thus satisfied with God she must yield her self passive to the workings of Grace and she will feel in her Interiour such a content and sweetness as will render disgustful to her whatever is not God I find this disposition different from that which ordinarily we receive by Union with God This satisfaction being a more profound and intimate possession of God making all Comforts from Creatures even most pleasing to us become distastful in comparison of those Joyes that ravish'd the Soul in this disposition This Satisfaction and Contentment does sometimes Exteriourly show it self the Senses being so affected therewith that if such persons imploy themselves about any sensible object they do it as if they were a sleep The Dispositions God is pleas'd to give me increase in me daily a new desire of Solitude and Contempt of the World where I find nothing but Impediments to my Union with God And seeing all my desires tend that way whatever diverts me from it is displeasing to me It seems to me I am now no more fit for Worldly Affairs and I look upon my self as an old piece of Houshold stuff that is good for little or nothing but the Fire for methinks God would have me do nothing hereafter but burn with the Sacred Fire of Divine Love Or like a poor Criple who cannot work for his Living I must die of Hunger That is my Soul having a continual Hunger and Thirst after God must die to all things but God himself her sole repose and satisfaction CHAP. XV. Of Infused Prayer OUr Blessed Saviour has been so Merciful as to give me to my thinking some understanding and experience of infus'd Prayer In my Morning Prayer I found my self in the presence of God in silence with Admiration Reverence and Peace This took me up a long time and though some Temptations arose in Inferiour Nature yet the Superiour part of my Soul remain'd united to God without any prejudice to her Interiour quiet This Peace and Tranquility was greater than ordinary more Solid and more Assured I conceive also that what God is thus pleas'd to infuse into us be it Light or Affection Peace or Love 't is hidden from Deceits of Nature the Temptations of Satan and the noise of Creatures For God immediately infuses it into the center of the Soul without the Ministry of our Senses and so is not lyable to their onfets and vicissitudes but always remains entire as long as it pleases God to continue his operations I also conceive very well that the Interiour of Soul is a Sacred Mansion where God resides and does his works Independant on all Humane Industry and endeavours There he sometimes manifests Himself and his Perfections sometimes Christian Mysteries after what manner he thinks best It seems to me that the least Ray from his presence is enough to make known to us what he pleases Illuminet vultum suum super nos This is a very great favour for God to converse with the Soul alone in her Interiour I am now no more astonish'd at what the Saints affirm that their heart is a Tabernacle where God dwells with him and they enjoy him in a wonderful manner Nor that Souls of much Prayer do this without labour and almost continually for receiving so much and labouring so little I do not wonder at the Facility
elevate his Heart by frequent Prayer to God and Contemplation of his Divine Perfections or that dissipates his Spirit abroad by the impulses of Nature engaging himself in Temporal Affairs without being called thereto by the Inspiration and guidance of Grace though something of zeal appear in the thing and as one thinks a good intention I say this Interiour Fire in such a Person is to be compared to these Meteors or Lambent Fires which are carried about with every motion of the Air and shine but do not burn CHAP. XII The fifth Effect of Communion is to give Strength and Perseverance in the Service of God ONe day as I entred into a Church I heard them sing these words in Honour of the Blessed Sacrament Ambulavit in fortitudine cibi illius usque ad montem Dei He walked in the strength of this Bread even to the Mount of God These words affected me and made me Hope that notwithstanding my Miseries and continual weakness I might be so strengthned by receiving this Divine Bread that at last I might arrive to the Mount of God might raise my self above the low inclinations of Nature and mount to the participation of the Spirit of Jesus and Perfection of a Super-natural Life which Life is a high Mountain which no body can climb by the meer strength of Nature I observed before that the peculiar intention of Jesus in Instituting the Holy Sacrament was to give us a foundation to Life and Strength and for that reason 't is the only Sacrament that is given in the form of Nourishment The rest are prescribed by way of Remedy to purge the Soul from Sin or conferr'd by Ceremony of Cousecration to dedicate the Person to the peculiar Duties of Religion and Holy Things and so others respectively But this is the only one given by way of Heavenly nurture to enable us to live by the Life of Grace a perpetual Life over which the death of Sin has no power For Jesus Christ among other effects of this Divine Food assures us that it bestows Eternal Life Qui manducat hunc panem vivet in aeternum And it seems very reasonable and conform to the Infinite Goodness of God that the most excellent of Sacraments should confer the most excellent of Graces which is that of Perseverance A Grace so Sublime so Divine so precious that we cannot merit it by any or all the good Actions we can do But how rare and how noble soever it be we have much subject to hope that the Father of Mercies and God of all Consolations will grant us it since he has already enriched us with that which is Infinitely more than this Grace the Prefence of his only Son in the Blessed Sacrament Corporal Nutriment is Elementary and Material and therefore no better than Corruption Yet if the Body could take it always in a just proportion and were perfectly well disposed to draw the strength it affords it would continue our Natural Life and we should never die How much more would the Heavenly Bread the Living Bread which contains in it self the ever-flowing sources of Life confer a perpetuity and infectibility of Spiritual Life by Grace if the Soul duly used and were disposed to receive the abundance of Graces Virtues and Super-natural strength that this adorable Food brings with it When we Communicate we drink of the same Fountain the Blessed do in Heaven But to them it is the Water of Life Everlasting and what else can it be to us but that of the Life of never failing Grace which is the pledge and assurance of the Eternity of Glory O my Soul dost thou think that any of the Blessed in Heaven after they have tasted the Delights of that Torrent of Pleasures can be oloy'd with them or be contented to be deprived of that Divine and Happy Life How then canst thou be so unconstant and irresolute in the way of Grace and unfaithful in the Union thou hast contracted with God who hast drank the Waters of Joy from the same Fountains of thy Saviour When he presents himself really and in Person and demands to be admitted into thy Heart say not to him as St. Peter did Retire from me O Lord But breath out the Sentiments of perfect Love saying with the Spouse Tenui eum nec dimittam I will never abandon him O what a pleasant Society how profound a Peace does the enjoyment of the Soveraign Good bring to the Soul But both imperfect till they are finished in Heaven The fullest possession thereof she can acquire on Earth serves only to inflame her thirst more the more she tasts God the more she desires him and since there is no possibility of satisfying her desire in this Life she suffers a continual Martyrdom that makes her both die and live together Her pain is full of sweetness and that sweetness begets a languishing and longing after her Beloved She is disgusted with all created things and forceably drawn off from them Nothing pleaseth her in this condition but that which augments her flame She cannot read with satisfaction unless there be some mention of her Beloved All Conversation and Discourse are burthen some and tedious unless the subject be his Love My God you see the bottom of my Heart I conceive things that I cannot utter 'T is true I suffer but I would not but suffer I can do nothing but aspire to a fuller possession of your Infinite Goodness 'T is very much that you vouchsafe to give your self unto me in the adorable Sacrament with such an immense Love but still you give me only a hidden Treasure I possess you indeed but do not enjoy you to my hearts desire I am in the condition of Holy Simeon who held you in his Arms in the Temple and yet dyed with a desire to see you It is time O Lord now permit my Soul to depart in Peace and quit this Mortal Life because I receive within me the Spring and Source of Immortality I know for certain that in Paradice I shall obtain the perfect accomplishment of all my Desires yet I do not desire it till it be your good will and Pleasure Your Love makes me press forward and tend incessantly to the Beatifical Union but 't is your Love too that stops my course that draws me back inspiring me with the highest indifference and absolute dependance on your Divine Will O Jesus how admirable is your Providence you open my eyes to see the comfortable and Blessed sight of the Power and Purity of Love which ought to possess the Soul that has the Happiness to receive you often in the Holy Communion I relinquish and resign my self more than ever into your Divine Hands guide me as it shall best please you There is nothing left to ask you more since you have unasked bestowed your self upon me and crowned me with Mercies even beyond all my Hopes My business is to remain annihilated in your presence and quietly receive your Divine