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desire_n the_o good_a be_v go_v which_o if_o i_o cease_v to_o grieve_v beyond_o my_o own_o death_n let_v i_o cease_v to_o live_v such_o life_n such_o death_n so_o constant_a christian_a brave_v never_o become_v the_o triumph_n of_o the_o grave_a i_o err_v triumph_n be_v only_o she_o may_v i_o contemplate_v she_o both_o whilst_o i_o live_v and_o die_v her_o birthday_n be_v her_o death-day_n and_o her_o death_n the_o birth_n to_o my_o discomfort_n and_o sad_a breath_n a_o requiem_n at_o the_o innterment_n who_o ever_o you_o be_v patron_n subordinate_a unto_o this_o house_n of_o prayer_n and_o do_v extend_v your_o ear_n and_o care_n to_o what_o we_o pray_v and_o lend_v may_v this_o place_n stand_v for_o ever_o consecrate_v and_o may_v this_o
my_o importunate_a thought_n which_o by_o my_o ignorance_n how_o the_o mind_n may_v over-presse_a and_o wrong_a the_o body_n i_o make_v most_o mischievous_a unto_o i_o these_o oppression_n cast_v i_o upon_o costly_a diversion_n and_o with_o disease_n and_o expense_n of_o spirit_n bring_v i_o so_o low_a as_o i_o can_v never_o recover_v so_o that_o all_o the_o effect_n of_o melancholy_a as_o weakness_n of_o memory_n countenance_n and_o faculty_n with_o oppression_n of_o mind_n which_o long_o and_o miserable_o afflict_v i_o proceed_v from_o nothing_o more_o than_o the_o waste_n of_o my_o spirit_n loss_n of_o blood_n and_o over-thinking_a with_o extraordinary_a obstruction_n of_o all_o my_o inward_a part_n i_o contesse_n i_o have_v be_v a_o most_o intemperate_a man_n but_o it_o have_v be_v only_o in_o the_o excess_n of_o my_o thought_n else_o i_o think_v no_o man_n can_v charge_v i_o that_o any_o vain_a inordinate_a humour_n have_v transport_v i_o and_o so_o my_o mind_n as_o i_o have_v often_o be_v charge_v and_o that_o dangerous_a master_n fancy_n and_o a_o natural_a doubtfulness_n especial_o upon_o hard_a and_o questionable_a term_n have_v afflict_v i_o thus_o may_v contrary_n breed_v the_o same_o effect_n ruin_n as_o well_o from_o undue_a care_n as_o carelessness_n i_o can_v in_o probability_n have_v preserve_v myself_o from_o much_o harm_n of_o any_o other_o disorder_n june_n the_o seven_o 1637._o oh_o god_n how_o great_a and_o just_a be_v thy_o judgement_n how_o wonderful_a thy_o mercy_n how_o extraordinary_o can_v thou_o humble_v we_o by_o the_o one_o and_o relieve_v we_o by_o spiritual_a grace_n in_o the_o other_o how_o great_a a_o work_n it_o be_v and_o how_o many_o degree_n be_v require_v to_o effect_v a_o firm_a conversion_n upon_o we_o i_o most_o humble_o thank_v thou_o for_o the_o gracious_a effect_n i_o have_v find_v thereby_o such_o as_o have_v thou_o not_o send_v i_o temporal_a affliction_n i_o must_v have_v be_v eternal_o miserable_a let_v no_o man_n rely_v upon_o his_o own_o strength_n resolution_n and_o precaution_n for_o when_o god_n have_v a_o work_n in_o hand_n and_o leave_v we_o to_o ourselves_o we_o shall_v find_v ourselves_o so_o dementate_v as_o that_o we_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o make_v no_o use_n thereof_o to_o our_o good_a we_o shall_v find_v ourselves_o so_o imprison_v so_o waylay_v against_o what_o we_o will_v or_o shall_v do_v for_o our_o help_n that_o it_o will_v become_v impossible_a for_o we_o to_o make_v use_n of_o ourselves_o and_o ordinary_a mean_n etc._n etc._n it_o prove_v as_o i_o apprehend_v that_o once_o enter_v in_o i_o shall_v hardly_o find_v the_o way_n out_o of_o this_o deep_a thorny_a thicket_n my_o health_n and_o life_n have_v be_v late_o so_o desperate_a as_o it_o be_v little_a adventure_n to_o undergo_v any_o thing_n and_o indeed_o my_o nature_n have_v be_v too_o prone_a to_o put_v many_o thing_n to_o the_o hazard_n the_o rule_n of_o quod_fw-la dubitas_fw-la ne_fw-la feceris_fw-la have_v be_v much_o better_o observe_v but_o alas_o what_o rule_n can_v be_v strong_a enough_o not_o to_o be_v overbear_v by_o our_o blind_a precipitate_a passion_n and_o fate_n etc._n etc._n i_o neither_o must_v nor_o will_v specify_v the_o numerous_a particularity_n of_o my_o misfortune_n only_o thus_o much_o i_o will_v say_v that_o from_o my_o come_n from_o under_o the_o rod_n to_o this_o present_a i_o have_v successive_o meet_v first_o with_o dangerous_a disease_n in_o the_o university_n then_o with_o engagement_n and_o accident_n of_o consequence_n to_o my_o whole_a fortune_n and_o course_n then_o with_o such_o a_o melancholy_a as_o dash_v all_o my_o spirit_n and_o countenance_n otherwise_o strong_a and_o bold_a then_o with_o extremity_n of_o divers_a sickness_n which_o more_o deject_a i_o then_o with_o a_o ruinous_a vow_n then_o with_o loss_n of_o child_n and_o other_o heavy_a disgrace_n the_o effect_n of_o my_o disease_n then_o with_o desperate_a effect_n of_o mistake_a powder_n sufferance_n and_o course_n of_o physic_n and_o after_o all_o this_o and_o much_o more_o etc._n etc._n though_o general_o i_o so_o despair_v of_o life_n as_o not_o to_o dare_v to_o venture_v any_o thing_n upon_o it_o to_o buy_v some_o place_n to_o support_v i_o in_o my_o fortune_n and_o against_o my_o disease_n by_o diversion_n yet_o i_o once_o attempt_v that_o course_n and_o be_v most_o strange_o and_o causlesse_o put_v by_o sometime_o i_o have_v resolve_v for_o a_o course_n in_o the_o war_n as_o against_o the_o turk_n and_o then_o come_v peace_n and_o truce_n in_o truth_n employment_n in_o likelihood_n will_v have_v prevent_v the_o weight_n of_o my_o disease_n many_o thing_n which_o appear_v in_o i_o affect_v course_n of_o pleasure_n and_o vanity_n be_v in_o truth_n lay_v hold_n on_o by_o i_o for_o diversion_n and_o support_n of_o my_o oppress_a spirit_n against_o the_o violence_n of_o my_o disease_n june_n the_o nine_o 1637._o when_o i_o think_v what_o my_o fortune_n have_v be_v and_o how_o long_o and_o continual_a the_o affliction_n which_o i_o have_v endure_v as_o well_o in_o mind_n and_o body_n as_o in_o my_o estate_n i_o make_v question_n whether_o many_o year_n if_o not_o age_n do_v not_o pass_v in_o the_o whole_a world_n without_o parallel_v my_o suffering_n none_o but_o a_o extreme_a melancholy_a man_n can_v conceive_v they_o which_o yet_o have_v be_v aggravate_v in_o i_o by_o a_o contrary_a and_o most_o sensible_a complexion_n no_o body_n but_o of_o a_o extraordinary_a strong_a constitution_n can_v have_v undergo_v they_o how_o often_o have_v i_o think_v myself_o at_o my_o end_n how_o often_o wish_v it_o and_o yet_o have_v it_o please_v god_n miraculous_o to_o preserve_v i_o oh_o that_o it_o may_v please_v he_o thereby_o to_o work_v his_o glory_n and_o service_n otherwise_o how_o long_o have_v i_o be_v and_o now_o be_o from_o desire_v it_o i_o confess_v myself_o infinite_o faulty_a both_o towards_o god_n man_n and_o myself_o but_o withal_o strange_o unhappy_a in_o the_o occasional_a circumstance_n and_o concurrency_n of_o my_o mischief_n i_o have_v evident_o discern_v a_o extraordinary_a and_o high_a hand_n therein_o and_o i_o most_o humble_o thank_v god_n who_o have_v by_o degree_n bring_v i_o home_o unto_o he_o i_o have_v long_o subsist_v only_o under_o the_o shelter_n of_o his_o wing_n and_o desire_v nothing_o but_o his_o favour_n to_o my_o end_n nothing_o else_o have_v support_v i_o nor_o can_v nor_o can_v my_o mind_n and_o fancy_n be_v natural_o active_a and_o for_o want_v of_o outward_a employment_n besit_v they_o and_o i_o turn_v and_o wrought_v upon_o my_o spirit_n if_o i_o have_v notwithstanding_o all_o objection_n settle_v at_o at_o the_o first_o i_o have_v find_v that_o centre_n and_o quiet_a the_o want_n whereof_o infinite_o hurt_v i_o by_o give_v way_n to_o my_o fancy_n to_o be_v overmuch_o work_v upon_o it_o before_o i_o put_v such_o course_n in_o execution_n i_o at_o last_o give_v way_n to_o prevent_v the_o like_a inconvenience_n of_o trouble_n of_o mind_n and_o cost_n which_o may_v befall_v my_o son_n in_o a_o just_a affection_n of_o settle_v there_o i_o confess_v that_o in_o project_v what_o concern_v we_o it_o be_v not_o unnecessary_a to_o be_v possess_v of_o a_o summary_n disposition_n therein_o but_o to_o descend_v to_o a_o exact_a punctuality_n of_o particulars_n in_o a_o precautious_a speculation_n before_o time_n and_o opportunity_n of_o act_v and_o execution_n be_v common_o as_o vain_a as_o troublesome_a fancy_n may_v please_v and_o infatuate_a itself_o therein_o but_o the_o present_a view_n and_o circumstance_n of_o thing_n to_o be_v present_o act_v be_v that_o which_o give_v the_o final_a order_n and_o determination_n with_o a_o contradict_v and_o retract_v nullity_n to_o our_o prepense_a conceit_n and_o resolution_n june_n 11._o 1637._o sapiens_fw-la dominabitur_fw-la astris_fw-la be_v a_o pretty_a say_n but_o if_o not_o apply_v and_o restrain_v to_o godly_a and_o divine_a wisdom_n as_o far_o from_o truth_n as_o the_o star_n be_v short_a of_o god_n it_o be_v extraordinary_a that_o in_o all_o my_o course_n of_o a_o long_a life_n i_o shall_v ever_o meet_v with_o hindrance_n and_o cross_n even_o when_o i_o have_v most_o strive_v to_o avoid_v they_o and_o never_o with_o any_o thing_n of_o help_n and_o ease_n yet_o this_o for_o my_o comfort_n and_o to_o exempt_v i_o from_o envy_v other_o if_o i_o will_v but_o in_o a_o ordinary_a measure_n have_v digress_v from_o my_o austere_a way_n to_o my_o son_n and_o i_o there_o may_v have_v be_v a_o large_a proportion_n of_o honour_n authority_n and_o fortune_n god_n know_v what_o be_v best_a for_o we_o and_o i_o affect_v nothing_o but_o according_a to_o the_o fair_a mean_n and_o his_o good_a pleasure_n that_o noble_a friend_n of_o i_o who_o upon_o consideration_n of_o the_o natural_a strength_n of_o my_o body_n and_o mind_n
more_o it_o plunge_v itself_o to_o encumbrance_n and_o disease_n how_o easy_a be_v conveniency_n to_o be_v find_v how_o hard_o it_o be_v to_o find_v they_o how_o easy_a it_o seem_v to_o please_v ourselves_o how_o hard_o to_o please_v god_n and_o ourselves_o how_o often_o have_v i_o oppose_v my_o fancy_n and_o affection_n by_o a_o way_n of_o abstinence_n and_o frugality_n which_o yet_o have_v prove_v most_o improsperous_a unto_o i_o how_o often_o have_v i_o by_o god_n grace_n prefer_v he_o before_o all_o worldly_a delight_n and_o yet_o want_v the_o grace_n of_o constancy_n what_o shall_v i_o say_v if_o ever_o man_n play_v a_o long_a heavy_a unhappy_a part_n upon_o the_o stage_n of_o this_o world_n it_o be_v myself_o etc._n etc._n august_n 21._o 1637._o no_o care_n be_v more_o natural_a or_o necessary_a then_o for_o parent_n to_o enter_v their_o young_a one_o into_o a_o proportionable_a fortune_n and_o fair_a course_n to_o be_v able_a to_o live_v in_o the_o world_n the_o direction_n of_o a_o father_n to_o his_o child_n therein_o be_v of_o main_a importance_n i_o be_v leave_v young_a and_o great_o want_v it_o have_v i_o be_v leave_v single_a young_a as_o i_o be_v i_o be_v resolve_v never_o to_o have_v marry_v but_o so_o as_o to_o have_v set_v myself_o at_o ease_n for_o housekeep_v and_o other_o charge_n which_o attend_v it_o according_a to_o my_o quality_n my_o mind_n be_v not_o so_o loose_a but_o that_o i_o can_v have_v contain_v myself_o in_o expense_n for_o till_o i_o be_v lose_v in_o my_o disease_n i_o give_v many_o year_n proof_n thereof_o that_o error_n have_v be_v verify_v upon_o i_o which_o be_v say_v of_o fool_n that_o they_o ever_o begin_v to_o live_v time_n and_o necessity_n the_o great_a rectifier_n of_o our_o course_n have_v make_v i_o see_v my_o fault_n and_o accommodate_v that_o which_o i_o think_v impossible_a august_n 22._o 1637._o miserable_a condition_n of_o my_o fortune_n and_o the_o melancholy_a humour_n how_o one_o while_n for_o a_o evasion_n it_o divert_v itself_o by_o a_o work_a imagination_n how_o there_o may_v be_v a_o better_n other-while_n it_o aggravate_v itself_o upon_o consideration_n how_o incur_v misfortune_n may_v have_v be_v avoid_v both_o fruitless_a and_o perplex_v september_n 26._o 1637._o there_o be_v little_a commiseration_n due_a to_o such_o as_o enter_v upon_o a_o fair_a and_o full_a accommodation_n of_o house_n and_o fortune_n wasteful_o consume_v and_o abuse_v it_o with_o i_o it_o be_v far_o otherwise_o yet_o young_a as_o i_o be_v have_v i_o be_v leave_v with_o money_n in_o my_o hand_n or_o have_v raise_v money_n to_o myself_o by_o what_o i_o have_v i_o be_v not_o so_o loose_v finger_v as_o not_o to_o have_v keep_v or_o employ_v it_o to_o my_o advantage_n i_o be_o confident_a that_o many_o a_o heir_n ruin_v his_o fortune_n who_o do_v he_o enter_v upon_o monies_n as_o well_o as_o land_n will_v thrive_v and_o do_v well_o to_o a_o nature_n not_o foolish_o dissolute_a and_o prodigal_a money_n set_v rather_o a_o edge_n of_o increase_n then_o dissipation_n ignoti_fw-la nulla_fw-la cupido_fw-la it_o be_v a_o rational_a way_n to_o reclaim_v that_o prodigal_a which_o be_v record_v by_o show_v he_o those_o massy_a heap_n that_o be_v to_o go_v to_o discharge_v his_o wasteful_a debt_n the_o eye_n make_v the_o most_o effectual_a impression_n i_o have_v know_v a_o prince_n who_o be_v insensible_a of_o give_v great_a sum_n by_o word_n yet_o be_v tenacious_a of_o what_o once_o come_v into_o his_o hand_n as_o the_o hand_n natural_o so_o money_n political_o be_v the_o instrument_n of_o instrument_n without_o it_o like_o ship_n without_o water_n the_o wise_a and_o most_o active_a can_v make_v little_a use_n of_o themselves_o god_n blessing_n i_o ever_o imply_v for_o without_o that_o the_o builder_n build_v and_o watchman_n watch_v but_o in_o vain_a how_o unhappy_a be_v the_o condition_n of_o a_o unquiet_a mind_n and_o how_o hard_o it_o be_v for_o a_o spirit_n sharp_a sight_v and_o sensible_a to_o inconvenience_n and_o advantage_n to_o maintain_v a_o tranquillity_n amid_o the_o unsound_a and_o humorous_a incident_n of_o this_o life_n so_o little_o be_v the_o reality_n and_o so_o various_a the_o apparition_n of_o humane_a contentment_n fortune_n be_v to_o some_o a_o mother_n to_o other_o a_o stepdame_n some_o she_o humour_n some_o she_o cross_v from_o their_o infancy_n and_o whatsoever_o be_v say_v of_o every_o man_n forgeing_n his_o own_o fortune_n he_o know_v little_a who_o find_v not_o great_a ability_n miscarry_v when_o inferior_a succeed_v we_o make_v not_o ourselves_o nor_o the_o time_n and_o other_o circumstance_n we_o live_v in_o who_o correspondency_n shall_v in_o despite_n of_o we_o import_v we_o good_a mariner_n be_v often_o sink_v at_o sea_n when_o ill_o one_o arrive_v at_o good_a harbour_n for_o i_o i_o acknowledge_v in_o myself_o through_o my_o whole_a course_n many_o error_n yet_o have_v i_o find_v such_o a_o unhappy_a constellation_n of_o fatality_n over-rule_v i_o that_o what_o course_n soever_o i_o have_v take_v i_o can_v hardly_o persuade_v myself_o i_o can_v have_v have_v any_o better_a issue_n moderation_n sobriety_n care_n religion_n itself_o preservative_n to_o other_o have_v be_v to_o my_o fortune_n body_n and_o mind_n flail_n and_o rock_n yet_o all_o conducible_a and_o necessary_a to_o a_o better_a life_n etc._n etc._n i_o thank_v god_n for_o all_o and_o desire_v no_o more_o but_o his_o grace_n in_o grant_v i_o either_o patience_n or_o a_o fair_a deliverance_n from_o this_o world_n misery_n and_o corruption_n i_o have_v long_o hate_v and_o despise_v the_o world_n and_o all_o the_o frail_a vanity_n that_o other_o dote_v upon_o i_o find_v every_o day_n more_o and_o more_o the_o nullity_n the_o wickedness_n of_o its_o pleasure_n etc._n etc._n september_n 27._o 1637._o have_v i_o my_o full_a strength_n and_o clearness_n of_o spirit_n have_v i_o much_o more_o knowledge_n and_o will_v and_o can_v convenient_o bestow_v much_o more_o time_n in_o work_v these_o overflowing_n of_o my_o heart_n and_o brain_n yet_o such_o be_v the_o obscure_a confusion_n of_o this_o sophisticated_a world_n and_o my_o natural_a curiosity_n by_o melancholy_a much_o more_o hard_a to_o please_v that_o i_o shall_v never_o satisfy_v myself_o in_o write_v what_o belong_v to_o this_o or_o any_o other_o subject_a i_o will_v willing_o by_o these_o evaporation_n impart_v with_o ease_n to_o myself_o some_o impression_n to_o my_o friend_n how_o there_o have_v go_v as_o much_o fate_n as_o fault_n to_o effect_v my_o misery_n and_o to_o occasion_v they_o to_o resent_v and_o compassionate_v the_o wretchedness_n of_o humane_a condition_n by_o represent_v myself_o none_o of_o the_o worst-endowed_n with_o part_n of_o body_n mind_n and_o estate_n thrifty_o and_o temperate_o affect_v become_v nevertheless_o most_o tedious_o miserable_a in_o they_o all_o such_o have_v be_v god_n will_n and_o such_o in_o despite_n of_o nature_n and_o reason_n shall_v be_v his_o condition_n who_o accident_n and_o circumstance_n conspire_v to_o afflict_v a_o doctor_n of_o physic_n tell_v i_o long_o since_o that_o i_o have_v too_o much_o mind_n for_o my_o body_n but_o never_o advise_v i_o the_o moderation_n of_o the_o one_o and_o natural_a improvement_n of_o the_o other_o i_o thank_v god_n towards_o he_o who_o be_v the_o chief_a good_a it_o be_v the_o better_a for_o i_o and_o good_a for_o i_o that_o i_o have_v be_v trouble_v i_o confess_v i_o have_v natural_o a_o strong_a active_a and_o sensible_a mind_n yet_o not_o such_o but_o if_o i_o have_v escape_v accidental_a melancholy_n i_o may_v well_o have_v temper_v it_o but_o when_o that_o seize_v upon_o we_o thing_n otherwise_o easy_o to_o be_v pass_v over_o become_v full_a of_o scruple_n and_o perplexity_n my_o world_n over_o use_v of_o treacle_n hot_a and_o dry_a in_o my_o youth_n first_o breed_v the_o alteration_n in_o my_o body_n and_o mind_n i_o know_v not_o what_o i_o ail_v nor_o whence_o it_o proceed_v but_o enforce_o yield_v to_o melancholy_a effect_n such_o as_o retiredness_n over-reading_a and_o over-thinking_a little_a as_o then_o conceive_v how_o the_o body_n shall_v become_v oppress_v by_o so_o abstract_v a_o thing_n as_o the_o mind_n my_o first_o study_n in_o the_o way_n of_o morality_n and_o scepticism_n take_v off_o my_o edge_n from_o worldly_a delight_n god_n good_a spirit_n afterward_o be_v a_o check_n to_o i_o against_o they_o by_o who_o mercy_n i_o be_v never_o free_a from_o perplexity_n till_o of_o late_a i_o will_v by_o his_o grace_n fix_v myself_o upon_o he_o and_o leave_v off_o to_o ruminate_v upon_o much_o more_o to_o enumerate_v my_o infinite_a past_a misgovernment_n and_o misfortune_n god_n be_v praise_v my_o son_n beginning_n be_v as_o well_o if_o not_o better_o than_o ever_o yet_o be_v any_o of_o our_o family_n cross_a tide_n they_o say_v make_v
the_o grace_n of_o god_n be_v all-sufficient_a but_o humane_a strength_n most_o incompetent_a once_o discover_v i_o manful_o resist_v it_o else_o i_o have_v never_o near_o so_o long_o subsist_v i_o use_v diversion_n which_o be_v the_o humane_a first_o second_o and_o best_a remedy_n i_o oppose_v labour_n &_o constantia_n ferendo_fw-la &_o feriendo_fw-la like_o a_o parthian_a i_o flee_v and_o fight_v but_o prayer_n have_v be_v my_o most_o effectual_a remedy_n it_o be_v a_o devil_n that_o be_v not_o otherwise_o cast_v out_o physic_n be_v a_o feeble_a exorcism_n but_o when_o by_o hearty_a prayer_n i_o humble_v myself_o to_o god_n and_o implore_v his_o aid_n i_o ever_o rise_v from_o the_o ground_n like_o a_o other_o antaeus_n with_o renew_v and_o revive_v spirit_n god_n make_v i_o thankful_a for_o his_o mercy_n have_v surpass_v the_o transcendency_n of_o my_o folly_n happy_a the_o wound_n that_o meet_v with_o that_o good_a samaritan_n happy_a the_o disease_n that_o bring_v we_o to_o the_o cure_n of_o such_o a_o physician_n i_o have_v read_v how_o plutarch_n complain_v of_o man_n infirmity_n who_o can_v in_o nothing_o keep_v or_o measure_n or_o constancy_n in_o truth_n affection_n in_o our_o mind_n resemble_v overmuch_o the_o motion_n of_o the_o wind_n in_o the_o air_n they_o rise_v and_o take_v their_o course_n sometime_o in_o moderation_n sometime_o in_o storm_n they_o discontinue_v they_o change_v they_o whirl_v and_o all_o so_o strange_o and_o irregular_a as_o we_o neither_o can_v well_o conceive_v or_o control_n we_o neither_o know_v whence_o they_o proceed_v nor_o where_o they_o will_v end_v the_o object_n of_o our_o pleasure_n and_o discourse_n possess_v we_o with_o a_o drunkenness_n with_o a_o giddiness_n the_o strong_a and_o hot_a mind_n be_v most_o intent_n most_o mercurial_a most_o unsettled_a and_o volatile_a thence_o have_v grow_v a_o observation_n of_o the_o frequent_a change_n and_o trouble_n in_o the_o florentine_a more_o than_o the_o venetian_a state_n now_o what_o mean_n have_v we_o to_o fix_v this_o mercury_n the_o natural_a temper_n be_v hard_o to_o alter_v the_o inconstant_a body_n act_v too_o much_o upon_o the_o soul_n thou_o o_o god_n can_v only_o effect_v so_o great_a and_o supernatural_a a_o work_n faith_n alone_a and_o a_o christian_a hope_n can_v become_v the_o anchor_n of_o our_o soul_n to_o maintain_v they_o firm_a and_o secure_a against_o our_o own_o and_o the_o world_n wind_n wave_n and_o rock_n no_o other_o than_o thy_o divine_a armour_n can_v resist_v no_o other_o than_o thy_o divine_a water_n can_v quench_v the_o fiery_a dart_n which_o satan_n and_o the_o world_n throw_v against_o we_o and_o ourselves_o shoot_v to_o fall_v on_o our_o own_o head_n thou_o who_o make_v we_o can_v only_o mend_v we_o thou_o be_v the_o sole_a physician_n of_o the_o soul_n our_o knowledge_n be_v imperfect_a in_o the_o flow_n of_o our_o blood_n our_o elementary_a humour_n and_o the_o anatomy_n of_o the_o body_n much_o more_o in_o the_o motion_n of_o the_o mind_n thou_o oh_o god_n who_o make_v it_o and_o inspire_v it_o understand_v it_o better_a than_o ourselves_o it_o be_v of_o thy_o privative_a jurisdiction_n and_o thou_o alone_o can_v steer_v can_v rectify_v and_o fix_v it_o we_o mis-know_a ourselves_o and_o thou_o when_o we_o attribute_v to_o ourselves_o a_o presumptuous_a selfe-ruling_a power_n we_o have_v not_o motion_n but_o from_o thou_o by_o thou_o and_o through_o thy_o daily_a providence_n support_n and_o assistance_n it_o be_v so_o in_o all_o creature_n in_o many_o of_o they_o their_o motion_n be_v without_o discourse_n and_o involuntary_a but_o in_o we_o thou_o give_v the_o will_n and_o the_o deed_n january_n 13._o 1637._o how_o sacred_a and_o serious_a aught_o to_o be_v and_o be_v our_o religion_n how_o in_o this_o galley_n most_o look_v one_o way_n and_o row_v another_o how_o yet_o some_o people_n entertain_v sin_n with_o a_o national_a denization_n some_o ironical_o sport_n and_o play_v with_o they_o as_o nature_n game_n some_o make_v they_o venial_a which_o in_o god_n audit_n will_v find_v another_o account_n to_o what_o cross_a battery_n of_o honour_n nature_n law_n custom_n and_o religion_n be_v our_o frailty_n expose_v poor_a humane_a soul_n curious_a of_o rectitude_n curious_a of_o knowledge_n no_o wonder_n that_o thou_o suffer_v such_o distraction_n such_o convulsion_n example_n which_o shall_v rectify_v thou_o betray_v thou_o thy_o leader_n who_o shall_v guide_v thou_o in_o a_o clear_a and_o constant_a way_n wander_v and_o confound_v thou_o and_o in_o their_o partial_a and_o self-interessed_n subtlety_n lose_v themselves_o and_o thou_o natural_o i_o affect_v truth_n and_o be_o impatient_a of_o imperfection_n especial_o such_o as_o i_o appear_v capable_a to_o remedy_n and_o till_o i_o seem_v to_o discover_v what_o may_v be_v commodious_a and_o rational_a i_o can_v resolve_v but_o right_a and_o truth_n have_v so_o various_a a_o aspect_n and_o dwell_v in_o such_o a_o cloud_n and_o crossness_n of_o apprehension_n that_o if_o god_n of_o his_o great_a grace_n make_v not_o himself_o the_o guide_n of_o the_o good_a well-affected_a soul_n it_o stray_v it_o lose_v itself_o and_o become_v overwhelm_v with_o this_o world_n confusion_n and_o obliquity_n thus_o work_v my_o fancy_n thus_o accidental_o enfeeble_v be_o i_o put_v according_a to_o my_o nature_n to_o walk_v strong_o in_o weakness_n moderation_n be_v the_o hard_a of_o virtue_n my_o daily_a prayer_n to_o the_o almighty_a shall_v be_v that_o he_o will_v please_v to_o bestow_v it_o upon_o i_o i_o great_o need_v it_o against_o my_o nature_n against_o myself_o i_o be_o at_o at_o a_o evil_a exigent_n employment_n i_o want_v and_o be_o weak_a to_o undergo_v it_o yet_o idleness_n and_o vacuity_n of_o thought_n as_o unnatural_a unto_o i_o i_o can_v bear_v i_o have_v do_v and_o will_v endeavour_v my_o uttermost_a to_o compose_v myself_o to_o subsist_v and_o entertain_v myself_o towards_o god_n my_o neighbour_n and_o myself_o in_o the_o most_o religious_a discreet_a and_o charitable_a temper_n that_o i_o can_v etc._n etc._n december_n 11._o 1637._o it_o be_v hard_a for_o a_o man_n to_o dissect_v and_o paint_v out_o himself_o yet_o have_v i_o thus_o adventure_v upon_o it_o according_a to_o the_o life_n and_o truth_n and_o without_o flattery_n in_o a_o look_a glass_n they_o say_v we_o see_v ourselves_o by_o reflection_n of_o the_o beam_n of_o our_o sight_n upon_o ourselves_o in_o the_o mirror_n of_o my_o misfortune_n i_o have_v thus_o reflect_v upon_o myself_o but_o i_o confess_v true_a discern_v be_v towards_o outward_a object_n we_o be_v natural_o blind_a to_o ourselves_o beside_o the_o mist_n that_o self-love_n and_o interest_n raise_v upon_o we_o i_o have_v touch_v in_o one_o passage_n that_o the_o melancholy_a humour_n and_o choler_n adust_a must_v not_o be_v violent_o stir_v in_o respect_n of_o the_o rage_n and_o distemper_v it_o often_o so_o procure_v in_o full_a and_o soul_n especial_o long_o unstirred_a body_n but_o i_o profess_v my_o course_n have_v be_v by_o all_o mean_n inward_a and_o outward_a to_o search_v it_o to_o the_o root_n i_o go_v much_o upon_o the_o rule_n of_o quod_fw-la movet_fw-la removet_fw-la expurgation_n and_o what_o i_o hear_v once_o from_o a_o good_a doctor_n that_o obstinate_a insisting_n often_o work_v great_a and_o strange_a effect_n i_o have_v long_o for_o bear_v physic_n even_o when_o i_o most_o need_v it_o so_o still_o incorrespondent_a have_v my_o condition_n be_v unto_o itself_o some_o reason_n i_o have_v that_o neither_o i_o can_v nor_o will_v admit_v it_o but_o have_v i_o not_o by_o god_n instruction_n and_o long_a degree_n bring_v myself_o to_o be_v able_a to_o work_v upon_o myself_o in_o a_o extraordinary_a way_n exercise_v myself_o by_o his_o support_n and_o support_v myself_o in_o a_o great_a strength_n of_o body_n and_o mind_n i_o can_v not_o near_o have_v subsist_v i_o have_v by_o many_o year_n and_o degree_n bring_v myself_o to_o it_o it_o be_v for_o i_o alone_o and_o therefore_o i_o can_v prescribe_v anything_o therein_o to_o other_o there_o be_v a_o mean_a and_o discretion_n belong_v to_o all_o thing_n but_o certain_o melancholy_a obstruction_n be_v so_o tough_a and_o lead-like_a that_o they_o be_v immovable_a to_o ordinary_a course_n and_o medicine_n and_o extraordinary_a must_v be_v cautious_o and_o gradual_o employ_v inveterate_a they_o consist_v of_o a_o fat_a waxen_a viscous_a impacted_a and_o tartarous_a substance_n such_o as_o vegetable_n slip_v by_o without_o penetration_n mineral_n be_v more_o effectual_a in_o such_o a_o difference_n as_o betwixt_o the_o stroke_n of_o a_o cudgel_n or_o sword_n a_o natural_a crisis_n and_o evacuation_n be_v above_o all_o but_o we_o have_v so_o clog_v and_o entangle_v ourselves_o beyond_o the_o quiet_a of_o nature_n and_o of_o other_o creature_n that_o be_v and_o physic_n be_v thereupon_o become_v more_o necessary_a in_o truth_n
contemptuous_o differ_v i_o have_v know_v the_o drapery_n of_o a_o picture_n draw_v some_o time_n past_a to_o the_o life_n alter_v to_o the_o modern_a fashion_n it_o be_v endless_a and_o senseless_a then_o be_v then_o and_o so_o ought_v to_o appear_v and_o pass_v take_v measure_n of_o my_o write_n by_o their_o birth_n and_o of_o i_o by_o what_o i_o be_o something_o must_v be_v allow_v to_o the_o scene_n and_o other_o respect_n i_o forbear_v to_o particularize_v upon_o the_o present_a time_n i_o hope_v they_o will_v favourable_o requite_v i_o in_o their_o censure_n these_o four_o last_o unhappy_a year_n i_o mean_v and_o the_o calculation_n of_o this_o end_n of_o 1644._o march_n 13._o finalis_fw-la finalis_fw-la or_o mud_n their_o own_o breed_n king_n james._n sir_n philip_n sidney_n sidney_n hunc_fw-la volâ—_n qui_fw-la fiat_fw-la non_fw-la sine_fw-la pane_fw-la sâ—tur_fw-la sâ—tur_fw-la take_v this_o other_o paradox_n that_o the_o fair_a be_v often_o the_o chaste_a for_o love_a beauty_n in_o the_o abstract_n how_o ever_o they_o may_v please_v their_o nature_n and_o humour_n in_o give_v way_n to_o a_o parcâ—â—l_a entertainment_n of_o many_o affection_n yet_o râ—st_v they_o often_o satisfy_v in_o a_o pendulous_a suspensive_a power_n and_o glory_n by_o a_o equilibrious_a distraction_n which_o other_o miss_v more_o abandon_v themselves_o to_o the_o concrete_a concrete_a ill_o live_a preacher_n like_o evil_a cow_n kick_v down_o the_o milk_n they_o give_v give_v yet_o divers_a passage_n of_o the_o new_a testament_n give_v such_o high_a privilege_n to_o the_o child_n of_o faith_n as_o come_v little_a short_a of_o the_o priesthood_n whether_o for_o illumination_n or_o power_n power_n saint_n paul_n give_v the_o title_n of_o church_n to_o a_o particular_a family_n saint_n peter_n also_o etc._n etc._n the_o incomparable_a lady_n carlisle_n such_o time_n as_o a_o most_o pestilent_a mortal_a small_a poxseise_v and_o carry_v many_o of_o eminent_a rank_n and_o virtue_n virtue_n as_o right_a end_n and_o way_n or_o right_a reason_n of_o do_v choose_v and_o refuse_v etc._n etc._n etc._n a_o mathematical_a radius_fw-la move_v as_o upon_o a_o centre_n make_v the_o motion_n of_o the_o snu_fw-fr if_o it_o move_v no_o more_o than_o that_o of_o a_o watch_n in_o 24._o hour_n and_o what_o be_v slow_a in_o a_o elephant_n be_v swift_a in_o a_o â—mmeâ—_n â—mmeâ—_n fame_n be_v too_o airy_a a_o object_n for_o a_o solid_a soul._n soul._n rectum_fw-la judex_fw-la svi_fw-la &_o obliqui_fw-la so_o rectitude_a of_o affection_n affection_n per_fw-la varios_fw-la casus_fw-la artem_fw-la experientia_fw-la fecit_fw-la fecit_fw-la or_o from_o from_o i_o choose_v to_o entertain_v my_o mind_n to_o build_v in_o divide_v my_o london_n house_n where_o in_o all_o event_n there_o will_v be_v least_o loss_n and_o then_o live_v many_o year_n in_o the_o lesser_a part_n part_n as_o mater_n i_o genuâ—â—_n eadem_fw-la â—nox_fw-la gignitur_fw-la ex_fw-la i_o i_o i_o mean_v not_o a_o curiosity_n of_o ostentation_n or_o daintiness_n for_o such_o never_o possess_v i_o but_o only_o of_o sedulous_a consideration_n and_o rectitude_n rectitude_n to_o judge_v other_o by_o ourselves_o may_v be_v a_o rule_n of_o charity_n but_o not_o of_o wisdom_n wisdom_n in_o truth_n half-hood_n of_o material_n and_o workman_n their_o mistake_n and_o loiter_v make_v building_n much_o more_o vexatious_a then_o former_o former_o which_o over-kept_a in_o a_o small_a do_v and_o have_v lose_v its_o due_a operation_n lay_v in_o my_o body_n till_o the_o next_o spring_n &_o with_o a_o burn_a &_o corrosion_n then_o for_o three_o month_n spaâ—e_v deprive_v i_o almost_o whole_o of_o sleep_n which_o to_o a_o inveterate_a melancholy_n be_v no_o little_a sufferance_n sufferance_n they_o who_o wrestle_v not_o against_o their_o appetite_n nor_o be_v over_o solicitous_a of_o avoid_v all_o inconvenience_n be_v they_o who_o often_o succeed_v best_a and_o sail_v in_o the_o common_a channel_n enjoy_v the_o commodity_n &_o delight_n of_o this_o world_n many_o inconvenience_n be_v easy_a bear_v than_o avoid_v easy_o admit_v to_o be_v subsequent_o rectify_v then_o industrious_o and_o curious_o â—â—chewed_v â—â—chewed_v as_o do_v the_o first_o caesaâ—_n caesaâ—_n in_o truth_n my_o estate_n wâ—s_v so_o scanty_a that_o my_o endeavour_n can_v entertain_v no_o further_o aim_v then_o to_o be_v able_a to_o subsist_v subsist_v religion_n or_o artificial_a reason_n take_v to_o heart_n check_v out_o pleâ—r_a phoria_fw-la in_o natural_a pleasure_n pleasure_n the_o small_a seem_v inconsiderable_a cause_n be_v often_o inductionâ—_n to_o the_o grâ—â—â—st_a conclâ—â—on_n of_o this_o world_n world_n great_a evil_n be_v true_o observe_v to_o take_v advantange_n by_o second_v one_o the_o other_o other_o the_o use_n of_o tunbridge_n and_o epsam_fw-la water_n for_o health_n and_o cure_n i_o first_o make_v know_v to_o london_n and_o the_o king_n people_n the_o spa_n be_v a_o chargeable_a &_o inconvenient_a journey_n to_o sick_a body_n beside_o the_o money_n it_o 〈◊〉_d out_o of_o the_o kingdom_n &_o inconvenience_n to_o religion_n religion_n ingenuous_a mind_n affect_v to_o give_v a_o due_a &_o just_a accommodation_n to_o all_o thing_n and_o person_n and_o to_o themselves_o no_o more_o which_o be_v hard_o to_o do_v in_o this_o various_a fantastical_a world_n world_n so_o of_o mind_n mind_n rule_n be_v so_o variable_a in_o their_o application_n that_o without_o strength_n of_o experience_n &_o discretion_n to_o over-rule_v they_o they_o as_o much_o mislead_v as_o direct_v they_o serve_v to_o good_a notion_n &_o discourse_n but_o little_a to_o practice_v i_o mean_v not_o such_o as_o be_v mechanical_a mechanical_a a_o predominancy_n of_o any_o of_o the_o four_o humour_n be_v pernitions_a and_o so_o of_o melancholy_n in_o excess_n ambition_n be_v condemn_v of_o many_o who_o will_v be_v glad_a to_o resemble_v it_o in_o its_o concomitancy_n of_o vertuest_n that_o and_o melancholy_n with_o their_o right_a corrective_n 〈◊〉_d prove_v as_o happy_a as_o witty_a they_o be_v often_o mishapen_a and_o bad_a in_o the_o root_n but_o fair_a and_o good_a in_o the_o fruit_n like_o warden_n choaky_a and_o harsh_a in_o their_o crudity_n but_o of_o generous_a and_o excellent_a jâ—yce_n and_o relish_v season_v and_o concoct_v with_o the_o soft_a and_o gentle_a 〈◊〉_d of_o god_n good_a grace_n and_o spirit_n spirit_n politic_a engagement_n humane_a invention_n and_o unnatural_a sophistication_n raise_v such_o a_o mist_n and_o confusion_n especial_o upon_o the_o most_o ingenuous_a well_o affect_v spirit_n that_o the_o best_a of_o our_o short_a day_n be_v past_a by_o that_o time_n we_o can_v clear_v and_o free_v ourselves_o ourselves_o in_o our_o natural_n they_o have_v be_v easy_o contain_v &_o within_o a_o small_a compass_n when_o nothing_o but_o faith_n can_v now_o circumscribe_v and_o quiet_v they_o they_o medicine_n in_o truth_n work_v their_o effect_n by_o encounter_v &_o stir_v the_o peccant_a humour_n strength_n of_o nature_n expel_v both_o the_o physic_n &_o humour_n in_o which_o consideration_n a_o right_a and_o stir_a exercise_n be_v the_o sure_a and_o best_a digestion_n &_o expurgation_n expurgation_n aâ—_n be_v say_v non_fw-la ego_fw-la pauâ—_n be_v offendor_n maculis_fw-la 〈◊〉_d non_fw-la incuria_fw-la sudit_fw-la aut_fw-la humana_fw-la parum_fw-la cavit_fw-la natura_fw-la such_o in_o greaâ—_n parâ—_n have_v befall_v i_o some_o of_o these_o piece_n be_v intend_v but_o as_o paraphrase_n to_o verse_n after_o digest_v to_o alphabetical_a sonnet_n sonnet_n beside_o other_o text_n which_o make_v &_o consist_v with_o a_o different_a opinion_n the_o ancient_a church_n error_n against_o the_o antipode_n may_v also_o be_v a_o caviar_n caviar_n imperfect_a in_o the_o first_o concoction_n not_o to_o be_v perfect_v in_o the_o second_o second_o god_n require_v the_o read_n of_o the_o scripture_n for_o they_o testify_v of_o he_o and_o by_o the_o same_o reason_n ill_a clergy_n man_n forbid_v they_o postcript_n postcript_n many_o of_o we_o must_v seel_v our_o error_n before_o we_o see_v they_o not_o ever_o then_o we_o will_v blame_v fortune_n or_o somewhat_o else_o rather_o than_o ourselves_o ourselves_o whereunto_o it_o be_v too_o frequent_o propense_a upon_o mr._n herbert_n true_a hymn_n p._n 162._o psal._n 90._o v_o 11._o 11._o rel._n to_o the_o la._n r._n for_o sir_n john_n suckling_n upon_o the_o preface_n concern_v poetry_n and_o the_o corona_n corona_n some_o have_v make_v the_o world_n itself_o to_o consist_v of_o atom_n atom_n as_o in_o the_o end_n of_o the_o 7._o chap._n oâ—_n ecclesiastes_n god_n make_v man_n right_a but_o he_o have_v seek_v out_o many_o invention_n