more impossible for Moses to assume such a Body as he appeared in on the Mount for that occasion than for Angels to appear in humane shapes and departed Souls too as many Apparitions have told men And if bad Souls can do it why not good ones when God will have it The Tradition seemeth but a Jewish Dream that God kept the Body of Moses uncorrupted in the Grave and that this was it that the Devil is said to strive for against Michael that the Body might be corrupted And say others that at this Transfiguration it rose again There need no such conceits to our satisfaction The Soul of Moses could assume a Body § 8. But still the dissimilitude of Henoch and Elias from all the Saints in Heaven is an unresolved difficulty If we knew that God would have it so it might satisfie us But there is a symmetry in the Body of Christ And it 's like that the same Region hath Inhabitants of the same Nature What shall we think then That Henoch and Elias at their entrance into those Regions laid by their Bodies and became such as Abraham and other holy Souls Why are they taken up to be so laid by The corruptibility no doubt they did lay by God knoweth but it s much unknown to us Or shall we think as all those Fathers cited by Faustus Regiensis and as Dr. More and some of late that all Spirits are Souls and animate some Bodies and so that all in Heaven have some Bodies If so what Bodies are they And how differ they from the Resurrection state As the Soul here operateth in and by the Igneous Spirits in our Bodies it may be so lodged in these as to take some of them with it at Death as the life of a dying Plant yet dieth not in the Seed And a Man may be said to go unclothed to Bed though he put not off his shift or nearest Garment and to be clothed again when he puts on the rest And at the Resurrection as there will be a New Heaven and Earth so Spirits now in Heaven may have much more delightful business on the New and Righteous Earth than now they have and therefore may have use for an additional Body as much differing from what they have now in Heaven as the New Earth and their employment there require and as the Seed doth differ from the Plant. And Spirits being communicative will be more happy by more communication As God delighteth to do good to all his works so the Souls now confined to Heaven will delight to be employed in doing good to the New Earth and to animate the Bodies suited to such work Though now they have use for no other than such Spiritual lucid Receptacles as are fit for the Regions where they dwell And it will be no debasement or dejection for a Spirit now in Heaven to animate a Body at the Resurrection fit for the New Earth no more than it was to Angels to speak to Adam and to Moses to Abraham Jacob Manoah and others or then it is to the Sun to enlighten and enliven things on Earth It is a foolish thing to think as some do that departed Souls will be as dormant and unactive as in Apopletick or Sleeping Persons for want of Organized Bodies to act in Spirits are Essentially Active Intellective and Volitive And will God continue such Essential Powers in vain Moses and Elias wanted not Bodies And those in Heaven can praise Jehovah and the Lamb with holy concordant Love and Joy whether in any sort of ethereal Bodies or without we shall shortly know § 8. It is said that Moses and Elias talked with Christ This sheweth that Christ hath familiar communion with the Blessed He that would come into Flesh on Earth and live with Man in an humbled state and refused not familiar converse with poor men and women and would eat and drink with Publicans and Sinners will not refuse everlasting near familiarity with the glorified If the Church be his dearly beloved Spouse and as it were one with him as his Body surely he will be no stranger to the least and lowest Member of it § 9. But what was it that they talkt about Luk. 9. 31. saith They appeared in Glory and spake of his decease which he should accomplish at Jerusalem This was not to make it known to Christ who came into the World to die for sin What then was it for Did Christ tell them of it as not knowing it before That is not likely neither Did he need their comfort as Angels in his trials ministred to him and strengthned him The particular uses of this speech we know not But in general we know it was somwhat preparatory to his great Sufferings and Death And must Christ's Sufferings and Death have such preparation and must not mine have much premeditation and do I not need the consolatory messages of God Carnal men would rather have chosen pleasanter discourse than the talk of Sufferings and Death But that which must be undergone and requireth greatest strength must be forethought of and requireth the most preparing Thoughts It 's worse than madness to be surprized with Sufferings and Death before it 's seriously forethought of So sharp a trial and so great a change require the greatest preparation He that can refuse to suffer and die may refuse to talk or think of it If Christ must have men from Heaven to talk with him of his Cross what cause have we to study the Cross Even all our lives to foresee it and by obedient consent to submit unto it and take it up to follow Christ and even to determine with Paul to know nothing in the World but Christ and him Crucified that is to take this for the only needful and excellent Learning But alas how senslesly is Death and Suffering talkt of till it comes We are to learn how to suffer when suffering is upon us and to learn how to die till Nature or the Physician pass the sentence of Death on us at hand And it is God's Mercy to some of us to make our sufferings long that we may have a competent time of learning As we learn to write by writing and to discourse by discoursing and every Art and Trade by practice even so by suffering we learn to suffer And the Lesson is very hard Malefactors suffer without Learning whether they will or not but to suffer Obediently with Child-like affections is the Lesson to be learnt O little too little do many honest Christians think how much of their most excellent Obedience consisteth in Child-like holy Suffering Therefore they little expect it and provide for it And then they are overwhelmed with the unexpected surprizal when it comes Even in the sufferings which men bring on the Faithful for Righteousness sake how many shrink and shift off their duty or venture on forbidden things for safety because they were not prepared for it The loss of goods or imprisonment and want seem
all things And when God sends on a Land the Plagues of Famine Pestilence War Persecution especially a Famine of the Word of God it is a great sin to be insensible of it If any shall say while Heaven is sure we have no cause to accuse God or to cast away comfort hope or duty they say well But if they say Because Heaven is all we must make light of all that befalleth us on Earth They say amiss Good Princes Magistrates and publick Spirited men that promote the safety Peace and true Prosperity of the Common-wealth do thereby very much befriend Religion and mens Salvation and are greatly to be loved and honoured by all If the Civil State called the Common-wealth do miscarry or fall into ruine and calamity the Church will fare the worse for it as the Soul doth by the ruines of the Body The Turkish Muscovite and such other Empires tell us how the Church consumeth and dwindles away into contempt or withered Ceremony and Formality where Tyranny brings Slavery Beggary or long Persecution on the Subjects Doubtless divers passages in the Revelations contain the Churches glorifying of God for their Power and Prosperity on Earth when Emperors became Christians What else can be meant well by Rev. 9. 10. Hath made us Kings and Priests to God and we shall Reign on the Earth but that Christians shall be brought from under Heathen Persecution and have Rule and Sacred Honour in the World some of them being Princes some honoured Church Guides and all a peculiar honoured People And had not Satan found out that cursed way of getting wicked men that hate true godliness and peace into the Sacred places of Princes and Pastors to do his work against Christ as in Christ's Name surely no good Christians would have grudged at the Power of Rulers of State or Church Sure I am that many called Fifth Monarchy men seem to make this their great Hope that Rule shall be in the Hands of Righteous men And I think most Religious Parties would rejoice if those had very great Power whom they take to be the best and trustiest men Which shews that it is not the greatness of Power in most Princes or sound Bishops that they dislike but the badness real or supposed of those whose Power they mislike Who will blame Power to do good Sure the three first and great Petitions of the Lord's Prayer include some temporal welfare of the World and Church without which the Spiritual rarely prospereth extensively though intensively in a few it may since Miracles ceased 4. Be thankful therefore for all the Churches Mercies here on Earth For all the protection of Magistracy the Plenty of Preachers the perservation from Enemies the restraint of Persecution the Concord of Christians and increase of Godliness which in this Land it hath had in our Ages notwithstanding all Satan's malignant rage and all the bloody Wars that have interrupted our tranquillity How many Psalms of joyful thanksgiving be there for Israel's deliverances and the perservation of Zion and God's Worship in his Sanctuary Pray for the Peace of Jerusalem They shall prosper that love it specially that the Gospel is continued while so many rage against it is a Mercy not to be made light of Use IV. Be specially thankful O my Soul that God hath made any use of thee for the Service of his Church on Earth My God my Soul for this doth magnifie thee and my Spirit rejoiceth in the review of thy great undeserved Mercy O what am I whom thou took'st up from the Dunghil or low obscurity that I should live my self in the constant relish of thy Sweet and Sacred Truth and with such encoucouraging success communicate it to others That I must say now my publick work seems ended that these Forty three or Forty four years I have no reason to think that ever I laboured in vain O with what gratitude must I look upon all places where I lived and laboured but above all that place that had my strength I bless thee for the great numbers gone to Heaven and for the continuance of Piety Humiliation Concord and Peace among them And for all that by my Writings have received any saving Light and Grace O my God let not my own Heart be barren while I labour in thy Husbandry to bring others unto Holy fruit Let me not be a stranger to the Life and Power of that saving Truth which I have done so much to communicate to others O let not my own Words and Writings condemn me as void of that Divine and Heavenly Nature and Life which I have said so much for to the World Use V. Stir up then O my Soul thy sincere desires and all thy Faculties to do the remnant of the work of Christ appointed thee on Earth and then joyfully wait for the heavenly Perfection in God's own time Thou canst truly say To live to me is Christ It is his work for which thou livest Thou hast no other business in the World But thou dost his work with the mixture of many oversights and imperfections and too much troublest thy Thoughts distrustfully about God's part who never faileth If thy work be done be thankful for what is past and that thou art come so near the Port of rest If God will add any more to thy daies serve him with double alacrity now thou art so near the end The Prize is almost within sight Time is swift and short Thou hast told others that there is no working in the Grave and that it must be now or never Though the conceit of meriting of commutative Justice be no better than madness dream not that God will save the wicked no nor equally reward the slothful and the diligent because Christ's Righteousness was perfect Paternal Justice maketh difference according to that worthiness which is so denominated by the Law of Grace And as sin is its own punishment Holiness and Obedience is much of its own reward Whatever God appointeth thee to do see that thou do it sincerely and with all thy might If sin dispose men to be angry because it is detected disgraced and resisted if God be pleased their wrath should be patiently born who will shortly be far more angry with themselves If slander and obloquy survive so will the better effects on those that are converted And there is no comparison between these I shall not be hurt when I am with Christ by the Calumnies of men on Earth But the saving benefit will by converted Sinners be enjoyed everlastingly Words and actions are transient things and being once past are nothing But the effect of them on an immortal Soul may be endless All the Sermons that I have preached are nothing now But the Grace of God on Sanctified Souls is the beginning of Eternal life It is unspeakable Mercy to be sincerely thus employed with success therefore I had reason all this while to be in Pauls streight and make no hast in my desires to depart
see in the brutish Politicks of Benedictus Spinosa in his Tractat. Theolog. Polit. whither the Principles of Infidelity tend If sin so overspread the Earth that the whole world is as drowned in wickedness notwithstanding all the hopes and fears of a life to come what would it do were there no such hopes and fears § 10. 3. And no Mercy can be truly known and estimated nor rightly used and improved by him that seeth not its tendency to the End and perceiveth not that it leadeth to a better Life and useth it not thereunto God dealeth more bountifully with us than worldlings understand He giveth us all the mercies of this life as helps to an immortal state of Glory and as earnests of it Sensualists know not what a Soul is nor what Soul-mercies are and therefore not what the Soul of all bodily mercies are but take up only with the carkass shell or shadow If the King would give me a Lordship and send me a Horse or Coach to carry me to it and I should only ride about the fields for my pleasure and make no other use of it should I not undervalue and lose the principal benefit of my Horse or Coach No wonder if unbelievers be unthankful when they know not at all that part of God's mercies which is the life and real excellency of them § 11. 4. And alas how should I bear with comfort the sufferings of this wretched life without the hopes of a life with Christ What should support and comfort me under my bodily languishings and pains my weary hours and my daily experience of the Vanity and Vexation of all things under the Sun had I not a prospect of a comfortable end of all I that have lived in the midst of great and precious mercies have all my life had something to do to overcome the temptation of wishing that I had never been born and had never overcome it but by the belief of a blessed Life hereafter Solomon's sense of Vanity and Vexation hath long made all the business and wealth and honour and pleasure of this world as such appear such a dream and shadow to me that were it not for the End I could not have much differenced men's sleeping and their waking thoughts nor have much more valued the waking than the sleeping part of life but should have thought it a kind of happiness to have slept from the birth unto the death Children cry when they come into the world and I am often sorry when I am wakened out of a quiet sleep especially to the business of an unquiet day We should be strongly tempted in our considering state to murmure at our Creator as dealing much hardlier by us than by the Brutes if we must have had all those cares and griefs and fears by the knowledge of what we want and the prospect of death and future evils which they are exempted from and had not withal had the hopes of a future felicity to support us Seneca and his Stoicks had no better Argument to silence such murmurers who believed not a better life than to tell them that if this life had more evil than good and they thought God did them wrong they might remedy themselves by ending it when they would But that would not cure the repinings of a Nature who found it self necessarily aweary of the miseries of life and yet afraid of dying And it is no great wonder that many thought that pre-existent Souls were put into these bodies as a punishment of something done in a former life while they foresaw not the hoped End of all our fears and sorrows O how contemptible a thing is man saith the same Seneca unless he lift up himself above humane things Therefore saith Solomon Eccles 2. 17. when he had glutted himself with all temporal pleasures I hated life because the work that is wrought under the Sun is grievous to me For all is vanity and vexation of spirit § 12. II. I have often thought whether an Implicit belief of a future happiness without any search into its nature and thinking of any thing that can be said against it or the searching trying way be better On the one side I have known many godly women that never disputed the matter but served God comfortably to a very old Age between 80 and 100 to have lived many years in a chearful readiness and desire of death and such as few Learned studious men do never attain to in that degree who no doubt had this as a Divine Reward of their long and faithful service of God and trusting in him On the other side a studious man can hardly keep off all Objections or secure his mind against the suggestions of difficulties and doubts and if they come in they must be answered seeing we give them half a victory if we cast them off before we can answer them And a Faith that is not upheld by such evidence of Truth as Reason can discern and justifie is oft joyned with much secret doubting which men dare not open but do not therefore overcome And its weakness may have a weakening deficiency as to all the graces and duties which should be strengthened by it And who knoweth how soon a temptation from Satan or Infidels or our own dark hearts may assault us which will not without such evidence and resolving Light be overcome And yet many that try and reason and dispute most have not the strongest or most powerful Faith § 13. And my thoughts of this have had this issue 1. There is a great difference between that Light which sheweth us the Thing it self and that artificial skill by which we have right Notions Names Definitions and formed Arguments and Answers to Objections This Artificial Logical Organical kind of Knowledge is good and useful in its kind if right like Speech it self But he that hath much of this may have little of the former And unlearned persons that have little of this may have more of the former and may have those inward perceptions of the verity of the Promises Rewards of God which they cannot bring forth into artificial reasonings to themselves or others who are taught of God by the effective sort of Teaching which reacheth the Heart o◠Will as well as the Understanding and is a Giving of what is taught and a Making us such as we are told we must be And who findeth not need to pray hard for this effective Teaching of God when he hath got all Organical Knowledge and Words and Arguments in themselves most apt at his fingers ends as we say When I can prove the Truth of the Word of God and the Life to come with the most convincing undeniable Reasons I feel need to cry and pray daily to God to increase my Faith and to give me that Light which may satisfie the Soul and reach the end § 14. 2. Yet man being a Rational wight is not taught by meer Instinct and Inspiration And therefore this
offer him He hath the Witness in himself that there is in Believers a sanctifying Spirit calling up their Minds to God and Glory and warring victoriously against the Flesh so that to will is present with them and they love and delight in a Holy conformity to their Rule and it is never so well and pleasant with them as when they can trust and love God most and in their worst and weakest condition they would fain be Perfect This Spirit and its renewing work so greatly different from the temper and desires of worldly men is given by Christ to all sound believers § 10. It is true that some that know not of an Incarnate Saviour have much in them that is very laudable whether it be real saâ—ing Holiness and whether Abraham were erroneous in thinking that even the Sodom's of the World were likely to have had fifty righteous Persens in them I am not now to enquire But it is sure 1. That the World had really a Saviour about Four thousand Years before Christ's Incarnation even the God of pardoning Mercy who promised and undertook what after was performed and shall be to the end 2. And that the Spirit of this Saviour did Sanctifie God's Elect from the beginning and gave them the same holy and heavenly dispositions in some degree before Christ's Incarnation as is given since yea it is called The Spirit of Christ which was before given 1 Pet. 1. 11. 3. That this Spirit was then given to more than the Jews 4. That Christ hath put that part of the World that hear not of his Incarnation into no worse a Condition than he found them in That as the Jews Covenant of Peculiarity was no repeal of the Universal Law of Grace made by God with fallen Mankind in Adam and Noah so the Covenant of Grace of the Second Edition made with Christ's peculiar People is no repeal of the foresaid Law in the first Edition to them that hear not of the second 5. That all that wisdom and Goodness that is in any without the Christian Church is the work of the Spirit of the Redeemer as the light which goeth before Sun rising and after Sun setting and in a cloudy day is of the same Sun which others see even to them that see not the Sun itself 6. That the liker any without the Church are to the Sanctified Believers the better they are and the more unlike the worse so that all these six things being undeniable it appeareth that it is the same Spirit of Christ which now giveth all men what real goodness is any where to be found But it is notorious that no part of the World is in Heavenliness and Virtue comparable to true and serious Christians § 11. 7. And let it be added that Christ who promised the greatest measures of the Spirit which he accordingly hath given did expresly promise this as a Means and Pledge First-Fruits and Earnest of the Heavenly Glory And therefore it is a certain proof that such a Glory we shall have He that can and doth give us a Spiritual change or renovation which in its Nature and tendency is Heavenly and sets our Hopes and Hearts on Heaven and turneth the endeavours of our lives to the seeking of a future Blessedness and told us before hand that he would give us this preparatory Grace as the Earnest of that felicity may well be trusted to perform his Word in our actual glorification § 12. And now O weak and fearful Soul Why shouldst thou draw back as if the case were yet left doubtful Is not thy Foundation firm Is not the way of Life through the Valley of Death made safe by him that conquered Death Art thou not yet delivered from the Bondage of thy fears when the Jaylor and Executioner who had the power of Death hath by Christ been put out of his power as to thee Is not all this Evidence true and sure Hast thou not the Witness in thy self Hast thou not found the motions the effectual Operations the renewing changes of this Spirit in thee long ago and is he not still the Agent and Witness of Christ residing and Operating in thee Whence else are thy groanings after God Thy desires to be nearer to his glory To know him better To Love him more Whence came all the pleasure thou hast had in his Sacred Truth and Ways and Service Who else overcame thy Folly and Pride and vain desires so far as they are overcome Who made it thy choice to sit at the Feet of Christ and hear his Word as the better part and to despise the Honours and Preferments of the World and to account them all as Dung and Dross Who breathed in thee all those Requests that thou hast sent up to God Overvalue not corrupted Nature it bringeth not forth such Fruits as these If thou doubt of that remember what thou wast in the Hour of Temptation even of poor and weak Temptations And how small a matter hath drawn thee to sin when God did but leave thee to thy self Forget not the Days of youthful Vanity Over-look not the case of the miserable World Even of thy sinful Neighbours who in the midst of Light still live in darkness And hear not the loudest Calls of God Look about on Thousands that in the same Land and under the same teaching and after the greatest judgments and deliverance run on to all excess of riot and as past feeling are greedily vicious and unclean Is it no work of Christ's Spirit that hath made thee to differ Thou hast nothing to boast of and much to be humbled for but thou hast also much to be thankful for Thy Holy desires are alas too weak but they are Holy Thy Love hath been too cold but it is Holiness and the Most Holy God that thou hast loved Thy Hopes in God have been too low but it is God thou hast hoped in and his Love and Glory that thou hast hoped for Thy prayers have been too dull and interrupted but it is Holiness and Heaven that thou hast most prayed for Thy labours and endeavours have been too sloathful but it is God and Glory and the Good of Mankind that thou hast laboured for Though thy motion were too weak and slow it hath been Godward and therefore it was from God O bless the Lord that hath not only given thee a Word that beareth the Image of God and is sealed by uncontrolled Miracles to be the matter of thy Belief but hath also fulfilled his Promises so oft and notably to thee in the answer of Prayers and in great and convincing deliverances of thy self and many others And hath by wonders oft assisted thy Faith bless that God of Light and Love who besides the universal attestations of his Word long ago given to all the Church hath given thee the internal Seal the nearer indwelling attestation the effects of Power Light and Love imprinted on thy Nature Mind and Will the Witness in thy self
cryed up and his Party praised as the chiefest Saints But all that tendeth to the praise of those that he dissenteth from and accounteth adversaries to the Truth is distastful to him as a complying with iniquity and a strengthning of the Enemies of Christ And all that uncharitableness which he expecteth from us against others is as much expected by others as against him and such as he This Day while I am writing these words my Pockets are too full of Letters sent me on one side importunately charging it on me as my duty to conform to the Oaths Declarations Covenants and Practises now imposed or else to give over preaching which would please them and on the other side vehemently censuring me as guilty of grievous sin for declaring my judgment for so much of Conformity as I have done and charging me by Predictions as guilty of the Sufferings of all that are otherwise minded for communicating in the Sacrament and the common Prayers of the Church and others in the mid way persuading me equally to bear my Testimony against unjust Separation and Persecution and to endeavour still if possible to save a self destroying People from the tearing fury of these two extreams And how should I answer these contrary expectations or escape the Censures of such expectants And it hath pleased God who Thirty Years and more hath tryed me by humane Applause of late in this City where multitudes of Persons of contrary Minds are like Passengers in crowded Streets still jostling and offending one another to exercise me with mens daily backbitings and cavils And so many have chosen me for the subject of their Discourse that I may say as Paul 1 Cor. 4. 9 10 c. We are made a Spectacle or Theatre to the World and to Angels and to men We are Fools for Christs sake but ye are wise in Christ c. Did I not live out of the noise in retirement and taken up with pain and expectations of my change what an annoyance to me would it be to hear Religious Persons that have a God a Christ a Heaven to talk of to abuse their Time and Tongues in so much talking of one so inconsiderable and that hath so little to do with them or they with him while with some overvaluing me and others still quarrelling I am the matter of their idle sinful talk The Persecutors for divers Years after first silencing if not still and the Separatists for two or three Years last past have been possessed with so strange a jealousie and quarrelsom a disposition against me that they seem to take it for their Interest to promote my defamation and for much of their work to search what may afford them any matter of accusation in every Sermon that I preach and every Book that I write And though the fury of the Persecutors be such as maketh them much uncapable of such converse and sober consideration as is needful to their true information and satisfaction yet most of the more Religious Cavillers are satisfied as soon as I have spoken with them and all endeth in a putarem or non putarem For want of accurateness and patience they judge rashly before they understand and when they understand confess their errour and yet many go on and take no warning after many times conviction of their mistake Even in Books that are still before their Eyes as well as in transient words in Sermons they heedlesly leave out or put in or alter and misreport plain words and with confidence affirm those things to have been said that never were said but perhaps the contrary And when all People will judg of the good or evil of our words as they think we have Reason to use them or forbear them how can we satisfie men that are out of our hearing and to whom we cannot tell our Reasons Most men are of private narrow observation judge of the good or hurt that our words do by those that they themselves converse with And when I convince them that my decisions of many questions which they are offended at are true they say It is an unseasonable and a hurtful truth and when I have called them to look further abroad in the World and told them my Reasons they say Had these been all set down men would have been satisfied And on how hard terms do we instruct such Persons whose narrow understandings cannot know obvious Reasons of what we say till they are particularly told them And so to tell men the Reasons of all that such can quarrel with will make every Book to swell with Commentaries to such a bigness as they can neither buy nor read And they come not to us to know our Reasons nor have we leisure to open them to every single Person And thus suspicious men when their understandings want the humbling acquaintance with their ignorance and their Consciences that tenderness which should restrain them from rash judging go on to accuse such needful Truths of which they know not the use and reason And what Man living hath the leisure and opportunity to acquaint all the ignorant Persons in City and Countrey with all the Reasons of all that he shall say write or do Or who that writeth not a Page instead of a Sentence can so write that every unprepared Reader shall understand him And what hopes hath that Tutor or School-master of preserving his reputation who shall be accounted erroneous and accused of unsound or injurious Doctrine by every Schollar that understandeth not his words and all the reasons of them But God in great Mercy to me hath made this my Lot not causing but permitting the sins of the contentious that I might before death be better weaned from all below Had my temptations from inordinate Applause had no allay they might have been more dangerously strong Even yet while Church-Dividers on both extreams do make me the Object of their daily obloquy the continued respects of the sober and peaceable are so great as to be a temptation strong enough to so weak a Person to give a check to my desires to leave the World It is long since Riches and worldly Honour appeared to me as they are as not rendring the World much lovely or desireable But the Love and Concord of Religious Persons hath a more amiable Aspect There is so much Holiness in these that I was loth to call them Vanity and Vexation But yet as Flesh and Blood would refer them to selfish Ends and any way value them as a Carnal interest I must so call them and number them with the things that are Loss and Dung Phil. 3. 7 8. Selfishness can serve itself upon things good and holy And if good men and good Books and good Sermons would make the World seem overlovely to us it will be a Mercy of God to abate the temptation And if my Soul looking toward the heavenly Jerusalem be hindred as Paul was in his Journey to Jerusalem Act. 20. 21. by
tell me The Church cannot yet spare you There is yet this and that necessary work to be done There is this and that need c. But 1. Is it we or God that must choose his Servants and cut out their work Whose work am I doing Is it my own or his If his is it not he that must tell me what and when and how long And will not his will and choice be best If I beâ—â—eve not this how do I take him for my God Doth God or I know better what he hath yet to do And who is fittest to do it The Churches Service and benefits must be measured out by our Master and Benefactor and not by our selves 2. What am I to those more excellent Persons whom in all Ages he hath taken out of the World And would mens Thoughts of the Churches needs detain them The poor Heathen Infidel Mahometane Nations have no Preachers of the Gospel And if their need prove not that God will send them such no Countreys need will prove that God will continue them such Many more useful Servants of Christ have died in their youth John Janeway preached but one Sermon Joseph Allen and many another excellent Men died young in the midst of his vigorous successful labours Both of them far more fit for God's work and likely to win Souls and glorifie God than I am or ever was However their greater Light was partly kindled from my lesser Yet did both these under painful consuming languishings of the Flesh die as they had long lived in the lively triumphant Praises of their Redeemer and joyful desires and hopes of Glory And shall I at Sixty seven Years of Age after such a life of unspeakable Mercies and after almost Forty four Years of comfortable help in the Service of my Lord be now afraid of my reward and shrink at the Sentence of Death and still be desiring to stay here upon pretence of further service We know not what is best for the Church as God doth The Church and the World are not Ours but his not our desires but his will must measure out its Mercies We are not so Merciful as he is It is not unmeet for us to desire many things which God will not give nor seeth it meet to grant the particulars of such desires Nothing ever lay so heavy on my Heart as the sin and misery of Mankind and to think how much of the World lyeth in folly and wickedness And for what can I pray so heartily as for the Worlds recovery And it is his will that I should shew a Holy and Universal Love by praying Let thy Name be hallowed Thy Kingdom come and Thy will be done on Earth as it is done in Heaven And yet alas how unlike is Earth to Heaven and what Ignorance Sin Confusions and Cruelties here reign and prosper And unless there be a wonderful change to be expected even as by a general Miracle how little hope appeareth that ever these Prayers should be granted in the things It maketh us better to desire that others may be better But God is the free disposer of his own gifts And it seemeth to be his will that the permitted Ignorance and Confusions of this World should help us the more to value and desire that World of Light Love and Order which he calleth us to prefer and hope for And if I am any way useful to the World it is undeserved Mercy that hath made me so for which I must be thankful But How long I shall be so is not my business to determine but my Lords My many sweet and beautiful Flowers arise and appear in their beauty and sweetness but for one Summers time and they murmur not that they flourish for so short a space The Beasts and Birds and Fishes which I feed on do live till I will have them die And as God will be served and pleased by wonderful variety at once of Animals and Vegetables c. So will he by many successive Generations If one Flower fall or die it sufficeth that others shall Summer after Summer arise from the same root And if my Pears Apples Plums c. fall or serve me when they are ripe it sufficeth that not they but others the next Year shall do the same God will have other Generations to succeed us Let us think him that we have had our time And could we overcome the Grand too little observed Crime of SELFISHNESS and could Love others as our selves and God as God above all the World it would comfort us at Death that others shall survive us and the World shall continue and God will be still God and be glorified in his works And Love will say I shall live in my successors and I shall more than Live in the Life of the World and yet most of all in the eternal Life and Glory of God And God who made us not gods but poor Creatures as it pleased him doth know best our measures And he will not try us with too long a Life of Temptations lest we should grow too familiar where we should be Strangers and utterly Strangers to our home No wonder if that World was ready for a deluge by a deluge of sin in which men lived to Six Seven Eight and Nine hundred Years of Age Had our Great Sensualists any hope of so long a life they were like to be like incarnate Devils and there would be no dwelling near them for the Holy Seed If Angels were among them they would like the Sodâ—mites seek furiously to abuse them Nor will God tire us out with too long a life of earthly sufferings We think short cares and fears and sorrows persecutions sickness and crosses to be long And shall we grudge at the Wisdom and Love which shortneth them Yea though holy duty it self be excellent and sweet yet the weakness of the Flesh maketh us liable to weariness and abateth the willingness of the Spirit And our wise and merciful God will not make our warfare or our race too long lest we be wearied and faint and fall short of the prize By our weariness and complaints and fears and groans one would think that we thought this life too long and yet when we should yield to the call of God we draw back as if we would have it everlasting § 12. Willingly submit then O my Soul It is not thou but this Flesh that must be dissolved this troublesom vile and corruptible Flesh It is but the other half thy meat and drink which thy presence kept longer uncorrupted going after the excremental part Thou diest not when Man the compositum dieth by thy departure And as thou livest not to thy self I die not to my self whether I live or die I am the Lords He that set up the Candle knoweth how long he hath use for the light of it Study thy duty and work while it is Day and let God choose thy time and willingly stand to his disposal The Gospel dieth
secrets of the Almighty nor to pretend to know more of God than indeed I know but O that I might know more of his glorious Perfections of his Will and Love and Ways with that knowledge which is Eternal Life Blessed be that Love that sent the Son of God from Heaven to reveal him to us in the Gospel as he hath done But all that hear the same Words and Believe them have not the same degree of Light or Faith If an Angel from Heaven came down on Earth to tell us all of God that we would know and might lawfully desire and ask him who would not turn his Back on Libraries and Universities and the Learned men to go and discourse with such a Messenger What travel should I think too far What cost too great for one Hours talk with such a Messenger But we must have here but such intimations as will exercise Faith and excite desire and try us under the Temptations of the World and Flesh The glorious Light is the reward of the Victory obtained by the conduct of the Light of Grace God in great Mercy even here beginneth the reward They that are true to the initial Light and faithfully follow on to know the Lord do find usually such increase of Light not of vain Notions but of quickning and comforting knowledge of God as greatly encourageth them and draweth them still on to seek for more It is very pleasant here to increase in holy Knowledge though it usually bring an increase of malignant opposition and so of sorrows to the Flesh The pleasure that the mind hath in common knowledge brings men through a great deal of labour to attain it How many Years travel over Land and Sea do some men take to see and know more of this lower World Though it 's little that they bring home but more acquaintance with Sin and Vanity and Vexation How many more Years do Thousands spend in the reading of multitudes of tedious Volumes that they may know what others knew before them Printers and Booksellors live by our desire of Knowledge What Soul then on Earth can possibly conceive how great a pleasure it will be for a glorified Soul to see the Lord Though I cannot now conceive what that intuition of God himself will be and whether it will not be a glorious kind of concluding or abstractive knolwedge whether the Glory which we shall see be only a created appearance of God or be his very Essence it satisfieth me that it will be as perfect a knowledge as is fit for me to desire and I shall then desire no more than is fit And what it is I shall then know by itself for it is not otherwise to be clearly known And all the pleasure that I shall have in Heaven in knowing any of the works of God will be in my beholding God himself his Being his Vital power and action his Wisdom and his Love and Goodness in those works For he is the Life and Glory of them all Blessed are the pure in Heart for they shall see God II. And doubtless it will be no small part of my delight to see and know God's perfect works I mean the Universe itself I cannot say that I shall have so large a Capacity as to comprehend all the World or know it perfectly and with an adequate knowledge But I shall know it in such Perfection as is suitable to my capacity It is exceeding pleasant to know the least Particles of the works of God With what diligence and delight have men endeavoured to Anatomize a Body yea a small part of a Carkass and to know and describe poor Worms and Insects Plants and Minerals And no Man ever yet perfectly knew the least of them all no Herbalist or Physician ever yet knew the Nature and uses of any one Herb with an adequate knowledge With what delight and diligence are Physical searches carryed on in the World though still we are all but groaping in the dark and ignorant of many things for one that we know and therefore know no one perfectly because we are ignorant of rest But if indeed we were above our dreaming erroneous Hypotheses and saw the Nature of every Creature even in Sea and Land this little Spot of God's Creation and the compages of all Oh what a delightful Spectacle would it be How much more to see the whole Creation yea or one Vortex or Systeme of the Globes and to know their union and communion and to behold their beauteous Symmetry and hear them in concord and melodious Harmony praising the the Glory of their Great Wise Amiable Creator this were a delectable sight indeed I shall have as much of this as I shall be capable of And the wonders and glory of the Works of God shall wrap up my Soul in admiring joyful praise for ever And though here it be but little of God's Works that we know I have great reason to think that it will be far otherwise there 1. Because the state of Perfection must far excel our dark and infant state of imperfection We have now desires after such a knowledge His Works are great sought out of them that have pleasure therein And these desires being of God shall not be frustrate 2. Because there will be a proportionableness of the parts of our Perfection and therefore as our Love to God and his works will be there perfected so will be our knowledge 3. Because we shall know God himself as much as we are capable and therefore we shall know his works in him or by a subordinate knowledge the less being in the greater 4. Because God hath made his works to be known to his glory But it is little that is here known of them by Mortals therefore they are known by them in Heaven who are fitted to improve that knowledge to his praise If Christ who is the wisdom of God will teach me the true Philosophy how to love God and live here in all well pleasing unto him I shall quickly in Heaven be a perfect Philosopher and experience will tell me that the surest way to be truly Learned and know the wonderful works of God was to know love and serve the Great Creator and in Him we shall have all and without him we know nothing and have nothing at all Satan tempted Christ by shewing him the Kingdoms and glory of the World and promising them all to him if he would have worshipped him But God will shew me more than Satan could shew and give me more of that which is best than Satan could give III. And that in Heaven I shall better know Jesus Christ and all the Mystery of our Redemption by him will not be the least of my felicity For in him are hid all the Treasures of Wisdom And to know the Mystery of his Eternal Godhead in the second Person and his created Nature and the Union of these and to see God's wonderful design and work of grace in him laid open
more desire it V. I shall better understand all the World of God! The Matter and the Method of it Though I shall shall not have that use for it as I have now in this Life of Faith yet I shall see more of God's Wisdom and his Goodness his Love Mercy and Justice appearing in it than ever Man on Earth could do As the Creatures so the Scriptures are perfectly known only by perfect Spirits I shall then know how to solve all doubts and reconcile all seeming contradictions and to expound the hardest Prophesies That light will shew me the admirable Methods of those Sacred words where dark minds now suspect confusion How evident and clear then will every thing appear to me Like a small print when the light comes in which I could not read in the glimmering twilight How easily shall I then confute the cavils of all our present Unbelievers And how joyfully shall I praise that God and Saviour that gave his Church so clear a light to guide them through this darksom World and so sure a promise to support them till they came to life Eternal How joyfully shall I bless him that by that immortal Seed did regenerate me to the hopes of Glory And that ruled me by so Holy and Just a Law VI. In that World of Light I shall better understand God's present and past works of Providence by which he ordereth the matters of this World The Wisdom and Goodness of them is little understood in little parcels It is the union and harmony of all the parts which sheweth the beauty of them when the single Parcels seem deformed or are not understood And no one can see the whole together but God and they that see it in the light of his Celestial Glory It is a prospect of that End by which we have here any true understanding of such Parcels as we see Then I shall know clearly why or to what use God prospered the wicked and tryed the Righteous by so many afflictions I shall know why he set up the ungodly and put the humble under their Feet Why he permitted so much ignorance ungodliness pride lust oppression persecution falshood deceit and other sins in the World I shall know why the faithful are so few And why so many Kingdoms of the World are left in Heathenism Mahometanism and Infidelity The strange permissions which now so puzzle me and are the matter of my astonishment shall all be then as clear as day I shall know why God disposed of me as he did through all my life and why I suffered what I did and how many great deliverances I had which I understood not here and how they were accomplished All our mis-interpretations of God's works and permissions will be then rectified And all our Controversies about them which Satan hath made so great advantage of by a pretended zeal for some Truths of God will then be reconciled and at an end And all the works of Divine Providence from the beginning of the World will then appear a most delectable beauteous frame VII And among all these works I shall specially know more the nature and excellency of Gods mercies and gifts of Love which here we too unthankfully undervalued and made light of The special works of Love should be the matter of our most constant sweet and serious Thoughts and the fuel of our constant Love and Gratitude The lively sense of Love and Mercy maketh lively Christians abounding in Love to God and Mercy to others But the Enemy of God and Man most laboureth to obscure diminish and disgrace God's Love and Mercys to us or to put us out of relish to them that they be unfruitful as to their excellent ends and uses Little do most Christians know how much they wrong God and themselves and how much they lose by the diminutive poor Thoughts which they have of God's Mercies Ingratitude is a grievous misery to the Sinner as gratitude is a very pleasant work Many a Thousand Mercies we now receive which we greatly undervalue But when I come to the state and work of perfect gratitude I shall have a more perfect knowledge of all the Mercies which ever I received in my Life and which my Neighbours and Friends and God's Church and the World did ever receive For though the thing be past the use of it is not past Mercies remembred must be the matter of our everlasting thanks And we cannot be perfectly thankful for them without a perfect knowledge of them The worth of a Christ and all his grace the work of the Gospel the worth of our Church-priviledges and all God's Ordinances the worth of our Books and Friends and Helps of our Life and Health and all conveniences will be better understood in Heaven than the most holy and thankful Christian here understandeth them VIII And it will be some addition to my future happiness that I shall then be much better acquainted with my self Both with my Nature and with my Sin and Grace I shall then better know the Nature of a Soul and its formal Faculties Three in One I shall know the nature and way of its Operations and how far its acts are simple or compound or organical I shall know how far Memory Phantasie and Sense internal and external belong to the rational Soul and whether the sensitive and rational are two or one and what Senses will perish and what not I shall know how the Soul doth act upon it self and what acts it hath that are not felt in sleep in Apoplexies and in the Womb I shall know whether the vegetative nature be any thing else than Fire and whether it be of the same Essence with the Soul sensitive or rational and whether Fire eminenter be a common fundamental substance of all Spirits diversly specified by the Forms mental sensitive and vegetative or whether it be as a Body or Vehicle to Spirits or rather a nature made for the Copulation of Spirits and Bodies and the Operation of the former on the latter as between both And whether Fire and of what sort be the active forma telluris and of other Globes I shall know how far Souls are One and yet Many and how they are Individuate And whether their Quantitas discreta in being numerically many do prove that they have any Quantitatem continuam and whether they are a purer sort of Bodies as the Greek Fathers Tertullian and others Thought and what Immateriality signifieth and what substantiality of Spirits and how substantia materia differ and how far they are penetrable and indivisible and whether a Soul be properly pars and whether individual Souls are parts of any common Soul and how far the individuation doth continue And whether separated from the Body they operate in and by any other Vehicle or without and how and whether they take with them any of the fiery Nature as a Vehicle or as a constitutive part I shall know how God produceth Souls And how
his production by Emanation or Creation doth consist with Generation And how forms are multiplied And what Causality the Parents Soul hath to the production of the Childs Whether by communication of substance or only by disposing the recipient matter I shall know whether all Souls came from Adam's one substantiality and whether there be more substance in the All than in that One and whether one substance cause more by generation Or whether it be so as to the Souls of Bruits or whether any Anima communis inform many Organical Bodies of the Bruits as the Sun lighteth many Candles which are individuate by matter to which as parts of one they variously are contracted and on which they operate and whether they were individuate in pre-existence or shall be individuate after separation I shall know how far the semen in generation is animated And how the animated semina of two make one And if animated what becomes of the anima seminis perditi and of an Abortive And whether the Body be animated as Vegetative or Sensitive before the entrance of the rational Soul Or rather the same Soul which in its Faculty is Rational being one with the Sensitive and Vegetative be the constitutive form of the first animated Body and the Fabricator of its own domicilium I shall know how far the Soul is receptive And what the Causa finalis doth to it And what each Object is to the Constitution or production of the act Yea and what an Act is and what a Habit And how a Soul acting or habited differeth from itself not acting or habited And how its acts are many and yet but One Or its Faculties at least Many other such difficulties will all be solved which now Philosophers contend about in the dark and pass but under doubtful conjectures Or at least are known to very few And I shall know how God's Spirit operateth on Souls And how it is sent from Christ's humane Nature to work on Man And whether Grace be properly or only Metaphorically called a Nature a New Nature a Divine Nature in us I shall know what Free-will is and how Man's will can be the first determiner of any act of its own in specie morali good or evil without being such a Causa prima as none but God can be And so how far free acts are necessitated or not I shall know what power the Intellect hath on the will and the will on the Intellect and what power the Sense and Phantasie hath on either And what any Intellectus agens doth Whether it be to our Intellection as the Sun is to our sight I shall know what is meant by the Degrees of Acts and Habits in the Soul And whether there be divers Degrees of Substantiality or of the virtus vel facultas formalis of several Souls I shall know better the difference of the Habits called Acquired and Infused And what common Grace is and what it doth And what Nature can do of itself or by common Grace without that which is proper to the justified And how far any Degrees of Grace are lost I shall know what measure of Grace I had my self and how far I was mistaken in my self And what acts were sincere and how much that was not sound was mixt and what was of my self and sin I shall know much more of my sin than here I ever knew the number and the greatness of them That so I may know with greatest thankfulness and love how much I am beholden to pardoning and healing Grace Yea I shall know more of my Body as it was the Habitation of my Soul or the organical matter on which unitedly it workt I shall know how far it helpt or hindred me And what were all thâ— obscure Diseases that puzzled all the Physicians and my self And how marvellously God sustained preserved and oft delivered me And what of my actions was to be imputed to the Body and what of them to the Soul IX And every fellow Creature which I am concerned to know I shall know far better than now I do both Things and Persons The Good and Bad the Sincere and the Hypocrites will be there discerned And many an action that here 〈◊〉 for honourable covered or coloured with wit or worldly advantages or false pretences will then be found to be odious and unjust and wickedness will be flattered or extenuated no more And many a good and holy Work which false men through wickedness and worldly Interest reproached as some odious Crime will there be justified honoured and rewarded All Sciences are there perfect without our ambiguous Terms or imperfect Axioms and Rules of Art X. And lastly I shall better know from what Enemies what Sins what Dangers I was here delivered What contrivances and malicious endeavours of Satan and his Instruments God defeated How many Snares I escaped And I shall better know how great my deliverance is by Christ from the Wrath to come Though we shall not know Hell by painful Sense we shall know it so far as is necessary to fill us with gratitude to our Redeemer Yea we shall know much of it far better than the damned Spirits that feel it For we shall know by sweet and full fruition what the Joy and Blessedness is which they have lost when they have no such kind of knowledge of it All this knowledge will be thus advanced to my glorified Soul beyond what I can here conceive in Flesh And is it not then far better to be with Christ IV. The Constitutive Reasons from the state of my will § 1. But it is the WILL that is to the Soul what the Heart is to the Body As it is the prime â—eat of Morality so is it the chief seat of Felicity My greatest Evil 〈◊〉 there and my greatest subjective Good will be there Satan did most against it and God will do most for it And will it not be better with Christ than here 1. It will not there by tyed to a body of cross interests and inclinations which is now the greatest snare and enemy to my Soul Which is still drawing my love and care and fears and sorrows to and for it self and turning them from my highest interest How great a deliverance will it be to be freed from the temptations and the inordinate love and cares and fears for this corruptible Flesh 2. My will shall not there be tempted by a world of inferiour good which is the bait and provision for the Flesh where Meat and Sleep and Possessions House Lands and Friends are all become my snares and danger Gods mercies will not be made there the Tempters instruments I shall not there have the Flatteries or frowns promises or threatnings of the Tyrants of the World to tempt me Bad company will not infect me nor divert me The errours of good men wiâ—l not seduce me nor reputation or reverence of the Wise Learned or Religious draw me to imitate them in any sin 3. I shall there have
out a Prayer Book on my Heart He giveth me desires and he loveth to be importuned by them His Spirit is first a Spirit of supplication and after of Consolation and in both a Spirit of Adoption so far is he from being loth to be troubled with my importunity that he seeketh to me to seek his grace and is displeased with me that I will ask and have no more All this is true But how then cometh my Soul to be yet so low so dark so fond of this wretched Flesh and World and so backward to go home and dwell with Christ Alas a taste of Heaven on Earth is a Mercy too pretious to be cast away upon such as have long grieved and quencht the Spirit and are not by diligent and patient seeking prepared to receive it He that proclaimeth a general Peace will give Peace only to the Sons of Peace If after such unkind neglects such wilful sins as I have been guilty of I should expect to be suddenly in my Saviours Armâ— and to be feasted presently with the first Fruits of Heaven I should look that the Most Holy should too little manifest his hatred of my sin My Conscience remembreth the follies of my Youth and many a later odious sin and telleth me that if Heaven were quite hid from my sight and I should never have a glimpse of the Face of glorious eternal Love it were but just I look upward from Day to Day I groan to see his pleased Face and better to know my God and my home I cry to him daily My God this little is better than all the pleasures of sin My Hopes are better than all the Possessions of this World Thy gracious looks have oft revived me and thy mercies have been unmeasurable to my Soul and Body But O how far short am I of what even Fourty Years ago I hoped sooner to have attained Where is the Peace that passeth Understanding that should keep my Heart and Mind in Christ O where is the seeing the longing the rejoicing and triumphing Faith Where is that pleasant familiarity above that should make a Thought of Christ and Heaven to be sweeter to me than the Thoughts of Friends or Health or all the Prosperity and Pleasure of this World Do those that dwell in God and God in them and have their Hearts and Conversations in Heaven attain to no more clear and satisfying perceptions of that blessed state than I have yet attained Is there no more acquaintance above to be here expected No livelier sense of future joyes No sweeter foretast Nor fuller silencing of doubts and fears I am not so loth to go to a Friend nor to the Bed where I oft spend the Night in restless pains and rolling as I have too often been to come to thee Alas how many of thy Servants are less afraid to go to a Prison than to their God! and had rather be banished to a Land of Strangers than sent to Heaven Lord must I that am called Thy Child and an Heir of Heaven and a Co-heir with Christ have no more acquaintance with my glorified Lord and no more love to Thee that art my portion before I go hence and come before thee Shall I have no more of the heavenly Life and Light and Love Alas I have scarce enough in my Meditations to denominate them truly heavenly Meditations I have scarce enough in a Prayer to make it indeed a heavenly Prayer or in a Sermon to make it a heavenly Sermon And shall I have no more when I come to die Must I go hence so like a stranger to my home Wilt thou take Strangâ—â—â— into Heaven know them as thine that do no better know thee here O my God vouchsafe a Sinner yet more of his Spirit that came down on Earth to call up earthly minds to God and to open Heaven to all Believers O what do I beg for so frequently so earnestly for the sake of my Redeemer as the Spirit of Life and Consolation which may shew me the pleased Face of God and unite all my affections to my glorified Head and draw up this dark and drowsie Soul to love and long to be with thee But alas though these are my daily groans how little yet do I ascend I dare not blame the God of Love He is full and willing I dare not blame my blessed Saviour He hath shewed that he is not backward to do good I dare not accuse the holy Spirit It is his work to sanctifie and comfort Souls If I knew no reason of this my low and dark Estate I must needs conclude that it is somewhat in my self But alas my Conscience wants not matter to satisfie me of the cause Sinful resistance of the Spirit and unthankful neglects of Grace and Glory are undoubtedly the cause But are they not a cause that Mercy can forgive That grace can overcome and may I not yet hope for such a Victory before I die Lord I will lie at thy doors and groan I will pour out my moans before thee I will beg and whatever thou wilt do with me Thou describest the kindness of the Dogs to a Lazarus that lay at a rich Man's Doors in Sores Thou commendest the neighbourly pitty of a Samaritan that took care of a wounded Man Thou condemnest those that will not shew mercy to the poor and needy Thou biddest us Be merciful as our heavenly Father is merciful If we see our Brother have need and shut up the Bowels of our compassion from him it is because thy love dwelleth not in us And shall I wait then at thy Doors in vain and go empty away from such a God when I beg but for that which thou hast commanded me to ask and without which I cannot serve thee or come to thee live or die in a habit beseeming a Member of Christ a Child of God and an Hâ—ir of Heaven O give me the wedding Garment without which I shall but dishonour thy bounteous Feast Let me wear a Livery which becometh thy Family even a Child of God! How oft hast thou commanded 〈◊〉 to Rejoice Yea to rejoice with exceeding and unspeakable joy And how fain would I in this obey thee O that I had more faithfully obeyed thee in other preparatory duties in ruling my Senses my Phantasie my Tongue and in diligent using all thy Talents Then I might more easily have obeyed thee in this Thou knowest Lord that Love and Joy are duties that must have more than a Command O bid me do them with an effecting word How can I Rejoice in Death and Darkness When the Bridegroom is absent I must fast and mourn While I look towards Heaven but through the crevises of this dungeon Flesh my Love and Joy will be but answerable to my Light How long is it since I hoped that I had been translated from the Kingdom of Darkness and delivered from the power of the Prince of Darkness and brought into that Light which is the
and to enter the Holy Celestial Society should be no more joyfully affected with these hopes And that I should make any great matter of the pain and langishing and perishing of the Flesh when it is the common way to such an end O hateful sin that hath so darkned and corrupted Souls as to estrange and undispose them to the only state of their hoped happiness Alas what did Man when he forsook the Love and Obedience of his God How just it is that this Flesh and World should become our Prison which we would make our home and would not use as our Lord appointed us as our Servant and way to our better state Though our way must not be our home our Father would not have been so strange to us in the way if we had not unthankfully turned away from his Grace and Love § 9. It is to us that know not the Mysteries of Infinite Wisdom the saddest thought that ever doth possess our Minds to consider that there is no more Grace and Holiness knowledge of God and communion with him in this World That so few are Saints and those few so lamentably defective and imperfect That when the Sun shineth on all the Earth the Sun of Righteousness shineth on so small a part of it and so few live in the Love of God and the joyful hopes of future Blessedness and those few have so low a measure of it and are corrupted and troubled with so many contrary affections Infinite goodness is not undisposed to do good He that made us capable of Holy and Heavenly affections gave us not that Capacity in vain And yet alas how little of God and Glory taketh up the Hearts of men But Man hath no cause to grudge at God! The Devils before their fall were not made indefectible Divine Wisdom is delighted in the diversity of his Works and maketh them not all of equal excellency Free will was to act its part Hell is not to be as good as Heaven And sin hath made Earth to be next to Hell So much Sin so much Hell What is sin but a willful forsaking of God And can we forsake him and yet love him and enjoy his love God's Kingdom is not to be judged of by his Jail or Gibbets We willfully forsook the Light and made the World a Dungeon to our selves And when recovering Light doth shine unto us how unthankfully do we usually entertain it We cannot have the conduct and comfort of it while we shut our Eyes and turn away And what though God give not to all men an overcoming measure nor to the best so much as they desire The Earth is but a spot or point of God's Creation not so much as an Ant hillock to a Kingdom or perhaps to all the Earth And who is scandalized because the World hath an heap of Ants in it yea or a Nest of Snakes that are not men The vast unmeasurable Worlds of Light which be above us are possessed by Inhabitants suitable to their Glory A Casement or Crevise of Light or a Candle in this darksom World is an unspeakable Mercy yea that we may but hear of a better World and may seek it in Hope we must not grudge that in our Prison we have not that presence of our King and pleasures of the Kingdom as innocent and free Subjects have hope of Pardon of a speedy deliverance are great Mercies to Malefactors § 10. And if my want of the Knowledge and Love of God and joyful communion with the heavenly Society by my Prison and as the Suburbs of Hell should it not make me long for the Day of my Redemption and the glorious liberty of the Sons of God My true desires of deliverance and of Holiness and Perfection are my Evidences that I shall obtain them As the Will is the Sinner so it is the obstinate continuance of a Will to sin which is the bondage and the cause of continued sin And a continued Hell is continued sin as to the first part at least Therefore they that continue in Hell do continue in a sinning Will and so continue in a Love and willingness of so much of Hell So far as God maketh us willing to be delivered from sin so far we are delivered And our initial imperfect deliverance is the way to more If pains then make me groan for ease and sickness make me wish for Health why should not my remnants of Ignorance Unbelief and Strangeness to God occasion me to long for the Day of my Salvation This is the greatest of all my troubles And should it not then be the greatest wearying burden from which I should earnestly desire to be eased As Grace never doth hurt efficiently and yet may be ill used and do hurt objectively as to them that are proud of it so sin never doth good efficiently and of itself and yet objectively may do good For sin may be the Object of Grace and so to use it is not sin My unbelief and darkness and disaffection and inordinate love of this life do of themselves most hinder my desires of deliverance and of a better life but objectively what more fit to make me a weary of such a grievous state Were my unbelief and earthly mind predominant they would chain my affections to this World or if I were constrainedly weary of a miserable life I should have no comfortable hopes of a better But as it is the Nature of my sin to draw down my Heart from God and Glory it is the nature of my Faith and Hope and Love to carry it upward and to desire the heavenly Perfection Not to love Death but to love that which is beyond it And have I been so many years in the School of Christ learning both how to live and die begging and studying for this Grace and exercising it against this sinful Flesh and shall I now after all find Flesh more powerful to draw me downward than Faith Hope and Love to carry my desires up to God! § 11. O God forbid O thou that freely gavest me thy Grace maintain it to the last against its Enemies and make it finally victorious It came from thee it hath been preserved by thee it is on thy side and wholly for thee O let it not now fail and be conquered by blind and base Carnality or by the temptations of a hellish conquered Enemy without it I had lived as a Beast and without it I should die more miserably than a Beast It is thine Image which thou lovest it is a Divine Nature and heavenly Beam what will a Soul be without it but a Dungeon of Darkness a Devil for malignity and dead to Holiness and Heaven without it who shall plead thy Cause against the Devil World and Flesh without thy Glory Earth is but Earth without thy Natural Efficacy it would be nothing without thy wise and potent Ordination it would be but a Chaos and without thy Grace it would be a Hell O rather deny
shew us whither we must ascend and that after these comfortable words SAY TO MY BRETHREN I ASCEND TO MY FATHER AND YOUR FATHER TO MY GOD AND YOUR GOD Joh. 20. 17. And shall I not follow him through Death and trust such a Guide and Captain of my Salvation 14. He is there to prepare a place for me and will take me to himself And may I not confidently expect it 15. He told a Malefactor on the Cross that he should that day be with him in Paradise to tell believing Sinners what they may expect 16. The Church by the Article of his Descent into Hell hath signified their common belief that his separated Soul had its subsistence and operation and did not sleep or perish to tell us the Immortality of separated Souls 17. His Apostles and other Servants have on earth served him all with these expectations 18. The Spirits of the perfected Just are now in possession of what I hope for And I am a follower of them who by Faith and Patience have attained the promised Felicity And may I not trust him to save me who hath already saved Millions in this way When I could trust a Ferriman to pass me over a River that had safely passed over Thousands before me Or I could trust a Physician who cureth all that he undertaketh of the same Disease 19. I must be at his disposal whether I will or not I shall live while he will and die when he will and go whither he will I may sin and vex my Soul with fears and cares and sorrows but I shall never prevail against his will 20. Therefore there is no Rest for Souls but in the Will of God That will created us and that will did govern us and that will shall be fulfilled on us It was our Efficient and our Regent Cause and it shall be our End Where else is it that we should rest In the will of men or Angels or in our own wills All Creatures are but Creatures And our own Wills have undone us They have misgoverned us and they are our greatest Enemies our Disease our Prison and our Death till they are brought over to the will of God Till then they are like a Foot out of joint like a Child or Subject in Rebellion There is no rectitude or health no order no peace or true felicity but in the Conformity of our wills to the will of God And shall I die in distrustful striving against his will and desiring to keep up my own before it 21. What abundant experience have I had of God's fidelity and love and after all this shall I not trust him His undeserved Mercy gave me being it chose my Parents it gave them a tender love to me and desire of my good it taught them to instruct me early in his Word and to Educate me in his fear It chose me suitable Company and Habitation It gave me betimes a teachable ingeny It chose my School-masters It brought to my Hands many excellent and suitable Books It gave me some profitable publick Teachers It placed me in the best of Lands on Earth and I think in the best of Ages which that Land had seen It did early destroy all great expectations and desires of the World teaching me to bear the Yoak from my youth and causing me rather to groan under my infirmities than to fight with strong and potent Lusts It chastened me betimes but did not destroy me Great Mercy hath trained me up all my daies since I was Nineteen years of Age in the School of Affliction to keep my sluggish Soul awake in the constant expectations of my change and to kill my Pride and overvaluing of this World and to lead all my studies to the most necessary things and as a Spur to excite my Soul to seriousness and especially to save me from the supine neglect and loss of time O what unspeakable Mercy hath a life of constant but gentle Chastisement proved to me It urged me against all dull delays to make my Calling and Election sure and to make ready my accounts as one that must quickly give them up to God The Face of Death and nearness of Eternity did much convince me what Books to read what studies to perfer and prosecute what Company and Conversation to choose It drove me early into the Vineyard of the Lord and taught me to preach as a dying Man to dying men It was Divine Love and Mercy which made Sacred Truth so pleasant to me that my life hath been under all my infirmities almost a constant recreation and delight in its discoveries contemplation and practical use How happy a Teacher have I had What excellent help and sweet illumination How far beyond my expectation hath Divine Mercy encouraged me in his Sacred work How congruously did he choose every place of my Ministration and Habitation to this day without my own forecast or seeking When and where since he first sent me forth did I labour in vain How many are gone to Heaven and how many are in the way to whom he hath blessed the Word which in weakness I did by his Grace and Providence deliver Many good Christians are glad of now and then an Hours time to meditate on God's Word and recreate themselves in his holy worship but God hath allowed and called me to make it the constant business of my life My Library hath afforded me both profitable and pleasant company and help at all times when ever I would use them I have dwelt among the shining Lights which the Learned Wise and Holy men of all Ages have set up and left to illuminate the World How many comfortable Hours have I had in the Society of living Saints and in the love of faithful Friends How many joyful Daies have I had in the solemn Assemblies where God hath been worshipped with seriousness and alacrity by concordant though imperfect Saints Where the Spirit of Christ hath manifested his presence by helping my self and my Brethren in speaking and the People in ready delightful hearing and all of us in loving and gladly receiving his Doctrine Covenant and Laws How unworthy was such a sinful Worm as I who never had any Academical helps nor much from the Mouth of any Teacher that Books should become so great a Blessing to me and that quite beyond my own intentions God should induce or constrain me to provide any such like helps for others How unworthy was I to be kept from the multiplied snares of Sects and Errours which reigned in this Age and to be used as a means for other mens preservation and reduction And to be kept in a love of Unity and Peace How unworthy was I that God should make known to me so much of his reconciling truth while extreams did round about prevail and were commended to the Churches by the advantages of Piety on one side and of worldly Prosperity and Power on the other And the God should use me above thirty Years
they pretend to and profess are the ordinary case and course of the most of men And when we would plead them out of their deceit and misery it 's well if we are not tempted to imitate them or be not partly infected with their Disease or at least reproached and oppressed as their Enemies Such a Bedlam is most of the World become where madness goeth for the only Wisdom and he is the bravest Man that can sin and be damned with reputation and renown and successfully drive or draw the greatest number with him unto Hell To which the World hath no small likeness forsaking God and being very much forsaken by him This is the World which standeth in competition for my Love with the Spiritual blessed World Much of God's Mercies and Comforts I have here had But their sweetness was their taste of Divine Love and their tendency to heavenly Perfection What was the end and use of all the Good that ever I saw or that ever God did for my Soul or Body but to teach me to Love him and to long for more How many weaning experiences How many Thousand bitter or contemning Thoughts have I had of all the glory and pleasures of this World How many Thousand love tokens from God have called me to believe and taste his Goodness Where ever I go and which way soever I look I see VANITY and VEXATION written upon all things in this World so far as they stand in competition with God and would be the end and portion of a fleshly Mind And I see HOLINESS TO THE LORD written upon every thing so far as it declareth God and leadeth me to him as my ultimate end God hath not for nothing engaged me in a War against this World and commanded me to take and use it as mine Enemy The emptiness dangerousness and bitterness of the World and the All-sufficiency Trustiness and Goodness of God have been the Summ of all the experiences of my life And shall a worldly backward Heart overcome the teachings of Nature Scripture the Spirit of Grace and all Experience Far be it from me But O my God LOVE is thy great and special gift All Good is from thee But LOVE is the God-like Nature Life and Image It is given us from the Love of the Father the Grace of the Son and the quickning illuminating and sanctifying Operation of the Holy Spirit What can the Earth return unto the Sun but its own reflected Beams If those As how far soever Man is a Medium in Generation Nature and that Appetite which is the moving pondus in the Child is thy work so whatever is Man's part in the Mediate work of Believing and Repenting which yet is not done without thy Spirit and grace certainly it is the blessed Regenerator which must make us New Creatures by giving us this Divine Nature holy LOVE which is the holy Appetite and Pondus of the Soul Come down Lord into this Heart for it cannot come up to thee Can the Plants for Life or the Eye for Light go up unto the Sun Dwell in me by the Spirit of Love and I shall dwell by Love in Thee Reason is weak and Thoughts are various and Man will be a slippery uncertain Wight if LOVE be not his fixing Principle and do not incline his Soul to Thee Surely through thy Grace I easily feel that I love thy Word I love thy Image I love thy Work and O how heartily do I Love to Love thee And long to Know and Love thee more And if all things be of Thee and through Thee and to Thee surely this Love to the Beams of thy Glory here on Earth is eminently so It 's Thee Lord that it meaneth To Thee it looketh It 's Thee it serveth For Thee it mourns and seeks and groans In Thee it Trusteth And the Hope and Peace and Comfort which support me are in Thee When I was a returning Prodigal in rags thou sawest me afar off and mettest me with thy embracing feasting Love And shall I doubt whether he that hath better cloathed me and dwelt within me will entertain me with a Feast of greater love in the heavenly Mansions the World of Love The suitableness of things below to my fleshly Nature hath detained my affections too much on Earth And shall not the suitableness of things above to my Spiritual Nature much more draw up my Love to Heaven There is the GOD whom I have sought and served He is also here but vailed and but litâ—le known But there he shineth to heavenly Spirits in heavenly Glory There is the Saviour in whom I have believed He hath also dwelt in Flesh on Earth Bâ—t cloathed in such meanness and humbled to such a Life and Death as was to the Jews a stumbling Block and to the Gentiles matter of reproach But he Shineth and Reigneth now in Glory above the malice and contempt of Sinners And I shall there Live because he liveth and in his Light I shall have Light He loved me here with a Redeeming Regenerating and preserving Love But there he will love me with a perfecting glorifying joyful Love I had here some Raies of heavenly Light But interpositions caused Eclipses and Nights yea some long and winter Nights But there I shall dwell in the City of the Sun the City of God the heavenly Jerusalem where there is no Night Eclipse or Darkness There are the heavenly Hosts whose holy Love and Joyful Praises I would fain be a partaker of I have here had some of their Loving assistance but to me unseen being above our fleshly way of Converse But there I shall be with them of the like Nature in the same Orb and of the same Triumphant Church and Chore There are perfected Souls gathered home to Christ Not as here striving like Esau and Jacob in the Womb not yet as John when he leaped in the Womb because of his Mothers joy nor as wrangling Children that are hardly kept in the same House in Peace Not like the Servants of Abraham and Lot like Paul and Barnabas like Epiphanius and Chrysostom like Luther and Carolostadius like Ridley and Hooper or the many striving Parties now among us nor like the Disciples striving who should be the greatest Not like Noah's Family in a wicked World or Lot in a wicked City or Abraham in an Idolatrous Land nor like Elijah left alone nor like those that wandred in Sheep Skins and Goat Skins destitute afflicted and tormented hid in Dens and Caves of the Earth not like Job on the Dunghil or like Lazarus at the rich Man's Doors Not like the African Bishops whose Tongues were cut out nor like the Preachers silenced by Papist imposers in German by the Intâ—rim or elsewhere Nor like such as Tzegedine Peucer and many other worthy men whose maturest Age was spent in Prisons Not as we poor bewildred Sinners feeling evil and fearing more confounded in folly and mad contention some hating the only way of Peace and
doubtingly whether thy heavenly Father and thy Lord doth love thee Canst thou forget the sealed Testimonies of it Did I not even now repeat so many as should shame thy doubts A multitude of thy Friends have loved thee so entirely that thou canst not doubt of it And did any of them signifie their love with the convincing evidence that God hath done Have they done for thee what he hath done Are they Love itself Is their love so full so firm and so unchangeable as his I think the sweetlier of Heaven because abundance of my ancient Lovely and Loving Holy Friends are there and am the willinger by Death to follow them And should I not think of it more pleasedly because my God and Father my Saviour and my Comforter is there And not alone but with all the Society of Love Was not Lazarus in the Bosom of God himself yet it is said that he was in Abraham's Bosom as the Promise runs that we shall sit down with Abraham Isaac and Jacob in the Kingdom of God And what maketh the Society of Saints so sweet as holy Love It is comfortable to read that To love the Lord our God with all our Heart and Soul and might is the First and great Commandment and the Second is like to it To Love our Neighbours as our selves For God's Commands proceed from that Will which is his Nature or Essence and they tend to the same as their Objective end Therefore he that hath made Love the Great Command doth tell us that LOVE is the Great conception of his own Essence the spring of that Command and that this commanded imperfect Love doth tend to perfect heavenly Love even to our communion with Essential Infinite Love It were strange that the Love and Goodness which is equal to the Power that made the World and the Wisdom that ordereth it should be scant and backward to do good and to be suspected more than the Love of Friends The remembrance of the holiness humility love and faithfulness of my dearest Friends of every Rank with whom I have conversed on Earth in every place where I have lived is so sweet to me that I am oft ready to recreate my self with the naming of such as are now with Christ But in Heaven they will love me better than they did on Earth and my love to them will be more pleasant But all these Sparks are little to the Sun Every place that I have lived in was a place of Divine Love which there set up its obliging Monuments Every Year and Hour of my life hath been a time of Love Every Friend and every Neigbour yea every Enemy have been the Messengers and Instruments of Love Every state and change of my life notwithstanding my sin hath opened to me Treasures and Mysteries of Love And after such a life of Love shall I doubt whether the same God do love me Is he the God of the Mountains and not of the Valleys Did he love me in my youth and health And doth he not love me in my Age and Pain and Sickness Did he love all the Faithful better in their life than at their Death If our hope be not chiefly in this life neither is our state of Love which is principally the heavenly endless Grace My groans grieve my Friends but abate not their love Did he love me for my strength my weakness might be my fear as they that love for Beauty loath them that are deformed and they that love for Riches despise the Poor But God loved me when I was his Enemy to make me a Friend and when I was bad to make me better What ever he taketh pleasure in is his own gift Who made me to differ And what have I that I have not received And God will finish the Work the Building the Warfare that is his own O the multitude of Mercies to my Soul and Body in Peace and War in Youth and Age to my self and friends the many great and gracious deliverances which have testified to me the Love of God! Have I lived in the experience of it and shall I die in the doubts of it Had it been Love only to my Body it would have died with me and not have accompanied my departing Soul I am not much in doubt of the truth of my Love to him Though I have not seen him save as in a Glass as in a Glass seen I love him I love my Brethren whom I have seen and those most that are most in Love with him I love his Word and Works and Ways and fain I would be nearer him and love him more and I loath my self for loving him no better And shall Peter say more confidently Thou knowest that I love thee than I know that thou lovest me Yes he may because though God's Love is greater and stedfaster than ours yet our knowledge of his great love is less than his knowledge of our little love and as we are defective in our own Love so are we in our certainty of its sincerity And without the knowledge of our Love to God we can never be sure of his special love to us But yet I am not utterly a stranger to my self I know for what I have lived and laboured in the World And who it is that I have desired to please The God whose I am and whom I serve hath loved me in my youth and he will love me in my aged weakness My Flesh and my Heart fail my pains seem grievous to the Flesh But it is LOVE that chooseth them that useth them for my good that moderateth them and will shortly end them Why then should I doubt of my Fathers Love Shall pain or dying make me doubt Did God love none from the beginning of the World but Henoch and Elias And what am I better than my fore-Fathers What is in me that I should expect exemption from the common lot of all Mankind Is not a competent time of great Mercy on Earth in order to the unseen felicity all that the best of men can hope for O for a clearer stronger Faith to shew me the World that more excelleth this than this excelleth the Womb where I was conceived Then should I not fear my third Birth day what pangs soever go before it nor be unwilling of my change The Grave indeed is a Bed that Nature doth abhor Yet there the weary be at rest But Souls new born have a double Nature that is Immortal and go to the place that is agreeable to their Nature even to the Region of Spirits and the Region of Holy Love Even passive Matter that hath no other Natural motion hath a Natural Inclination to uniting aggregative motion And God maketh all Natures suitable to their proper ends and use How can it be that a Spirit should not incline to be with Spirits And Souls that have the Divine Nature in holy Love desire to be with the God of Love Arts and Sciences and Tongues become not
a Nature to us Else they would not cease at Death But holy LOVE is our New Nature and therefore ceaseth not with this bodily life And shall accidental love make me desire the company of a frail and mutable Friend And shall not this ingrafted inseparable love make me long to be with Christ Though the love of God to all his Creatures will not prove that they are all Immortal nor oblige them to expect another life that never had Capacity or Faculties to expect it yet his love to such as in Nature and Grace are made capable of it doth warrant and oblige them to believe and hope for the full Perfection of the work of love Some comfort themselves in the love of St. Peter as having the Keys of Heaven And how many could I name that are now with Christ who loved me so faithfully on Earth that were I sure they had the Keys and Power of Heaven and were not changed in their Love I could put my departing Soul into their Hands and die with joy And is it not better in the Hand of my Redeemer and of the God of Love and Father of Spirits Is any love comparable to his Or any Friend so boldly to be trusted I should take it for ungrateful unkindness in my Friend to doubt of my love and trustiness if I had given him all that he hath and maintained him constantly by my kindness But O how odious a thing is sin Which by destroying our love to God doth make us unmeer to believe and sweetly perceive his Love And by making us doubt of the Love of God and lose the pleasant relish of it doth more increase our difficulty of loving him The Title that the Angel gave to Daniel A Man greatly beloved of God methinks should be enough to make one joyfully love and trust God both in life and death Will Almighty LOVE ever hurt me or forsake me And have not all Saints that Title in their degrees What else signifieth their Mark and Name HOLINESS TO THE LORD What is it but our separation to God as his peculiar beloved People And how are they separated but by mutual love and our forsaking all that alienateth or is contrary Let Scorners deride us as self flatterers that believe they are God's Darlings and wo to the Hypocrites that believe it on their false Presumption without such belief or grounded hopes I see not how any Man can die in true Peace He that is no otherwise beloved than Hypocrites and Unbelievers must have his portion with them And he that is no otherwise beloved than as the ungodly unholy and unregenerate shall not stand in judgment nor see God nor enter into his Kingdom Most upright Souls are to blame for groundless doubting of God's Love but not for acknowledging it rejoicing in it and in their doubts being most solicitous to make it sure Love brought me into the World and furnished me with a Thousand Mercies Love hath provided for me delivered me and preserved me till now And will it not entertain my separated Soul Is God like false or insufficient Friends that forsake us in adversity I confess that I have wronged LOVE by sin by many and great unexcusable sins But all save Christ himself were sinners which love did purifie and receive to Glory God who is rich in Mercy for the great love wherewith he loved us even when we were dead in sins hath quickned us together with Christ by Grace we are saved and hath raised us up together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus Eph. 2. 4 5 6. O that I could love much that have so much forgiven The glorified praised him who loved us and washed us from our sins in his own Blood and made us Kings and Priests to God Rev. 1. 5 6. Our Father that hath loved us giveth us consolation and good hope through Grace 2 Thess 2. 16. I know no sin which I repent not of with self-loathing And I earnestly beg and labour that none of my sins may be to me unknown I dare not justifie even what is any way uncertain though I dare not call all that my sin which siding men of differing judgments on each side passionately call so While both sides do it on contrary accounts and not to go contrary ways is a Crime O that God would bless my accusations to my illumination that I may not be unknown to my self Though some think me much better than I am and others much worse it most concerneth me to know the Truth my self flattery would be more dangerous to me than false accusations I may safelier be ignorant of other mens sins than of my own Who can understand his errours Cleanse me Lord from secret sins and let not ignorance or errour keep me in impenitence and keep thou me back from presumptuous sins Psal 19. 12 13. I have an Advocate with the Father and thy Promise that he that confesseth and forsaketh his sins shall have Mercy Those are by some men taken for my greatest sins which my most serious Thoughts did judge to be the greatest of my outward duties and which I performed through the greatest difficulties and which cost me dearest to the Flesh and the greatest self-denial and patience in my reluctant Mind Where-ever I have erred Lord make it known to me that my confession may prevent the sin of others and where I have not erred confirm and accept me in the right And seeing an unworthy Worm hath had so many Testimonies of thy tender love let me not be like them Mal. 1. 1 2. that when thou saidst I have loved you unthankfully asked Wherein hast thou loved us Heaven is not more spangled with Stars than thy Word and Works with the refulgent Signatures of Love Thy well beloved Son the Son of thy Love undertaking the Office Message and Work of the greatest Love was full of that Spirit which is Love which he sheds abroad in the Hearts of thine Elect that the Love of the Father the Grace of the Son and the communion of the Spirit may be their hope and life His Works his Sufferings his Gifts as well as his comfortable Word did say to his Disciples Joh. 15. 9. As the Father loved me so have I loved you continue ye in my love And how Lord shall we continue in it but by the thankful belief of thy love and loveliness desiring still to love thee more and in all things to know and please thy Will Which thou knowest is my Souls desire Behold then O my Soul with what Love the Father Son and Holy Spirit have loved thee that thou should be made and called a Son of God redeemed regenerate adopted into that Covenant-state of Grace in which thou standest Rejoice therefore in hope of the Gâ—ory of God Rom. 5. 1 2. being justified by Faith having Peace with God and access by Faith and Hope that maketh not ashamed that being reconciled when an Enemy by the Death of Christ I shall be saved
misery The Perfection of it will be there our perfect Holiness and Joy XXIV Here though the VVill itself be imperfect we cannot be and do what we would There VVill and Deed and Attainment will all be fully perfect XXV Here by Ignorance and Self-Love I have Desires which God denieth There perfect Desires shall be perfectly fulfilled XXVI Here pinching VVants of somthing or other and troublesom Cares are daily burdens Nothing is there wanting and God hath ended all their Cares XXVII Sense here rebelleth against Faith and Reason and oft overcometh Sense there shall be only Holy and no Discord be in our Faculties or acts XXVIII Pleasures and Contents here are short narrow and twisted with their contraries There they are objectively pure and boundless and subjectively total and absolute XXIX Vanity and Vexation are here the Titles of transitory things Reality Perfection and Glory are the Title of the things above XXX This VVorld is a point of God's Creation a narrow place for a few Passengers Above are the vast capacious Regions sufficient for all Saints and Angels XXXI This VVorld is as Newgate and Hell as Tyburn some are hence saved and some condemned The other VVorld is the Glorious Kingdom of Jehovah with the Blessed XXXII It was here that Christ was tempted scorned and crucified It is there where he Reigneth in Glory over all XXXIII The Spiritual life is here as a Spark or Seed It is there a glorious flame of Love and Joy and the perfect Fruit and Flower XXXIV VVe have here but the first Fruits Earnest and Pledge There is the full and glorious Harvest and Perfection XXXV VVe are here Children in Minority little differing from Servants There we shall have full possession of the Inheritance XXXVI The prospect of Pain Death Grave and Rottenness blasteth all the Pleasures here There is no Death nor any fear of the ending of felicity XXXVII Here even God's VVord is imperfectly understood and Errours swarm even in the Best All Mysteries of Nature and Grace are there unveiled in the World of Light XXXVIII Many of God's Promises are here unfulfilled and our Prayers unanswered There Truth shineth in the full performance of them all XXXIX Our Grace is here so weak and Hearts so dark that our sincerity is oft doubted of There the flames of Love and Joy leave no place for such a doubt XL. By our unconstancy here one Day is joyful and another sad But there our Joys have no interruption XLI We dwell here with sinful Companions like our selves in Flesh There holy Angels and Souls with Christ are all our Company XLII Our best friends and helpers are here in parst our hinderers by sin There all concur in the harmony of active Love XLIII Our Errours and Corruptions make us also hurtful and troublesome to our Friends But there both Christ and they forgive us and we shall trouble them no more XLIV Selfishness and cross interests here jar and mar our conversation There perfect Love will make the Joy of every Saint and Angel mine XLV A militant Church imperfectly sanctified here liveth in scandal and sad divisions The glorious Church united in God in perfect Love hath no contention XLVI Sin and Errour here turn our very publick Worship into jars The Celestial harmony of joyful Love and Praise is to Mortals unconceivable XLVII VVeak blind and wicked Teachers here keep most in delusion and division There glorious Light hath banished all Lies deceit and darkness XLVIII The wills of blind Tyrants is the Law of most on Earth The Wisdom and Will of the most holy God is the Law of the heavenly Society XLIX Lies here cloud the Innocency of the Just and render Truth and Goodness odious All false Judgments are there reversed and Slander is silenced and the Righteous justified L. Government is here exercised by terrour and violence But there God ruleth by Light Love and absolute Delight LI. Enemies Reproach and Persecution here annoy and tempt us All storms are there past and the Conquerors crowned in joyful Rest LII The Glory of Divine Love and Holiness is clouded here by the abounding of Sin and the greatness of Satan's Kingdom upon Earth But the vast glorious heavenly Kingdom to which this Earth is but a Point and Prison will banish all such erring Thoughts and Glorifie God's Love and Goodness for ever LIII This is the World which as corrupted is called an Enemy to God and us and which as such we renounced in Baptism and must be saved from That is the World which we seek pray and wait for all our lives and for which all the tempting Vanities of this must be forsaken LIV. This Body an World is like our riding Clothes our Horse our Way and Inn and travelling Company All but for our Journey homeward The other is our City of Blessedness and Everlasting Rest to which all Grace inclineth Souls and all preserâ— Means and Mercies tend LV. The very ignorance of Nature and Sensible things makes this life a very Labyrinth and our Studies Sciences and Learned Conversation to be much like a Dream or Popet Play and a Childish stir about meer Words But in Heaven an Universal knowledge of God's wonderful Works will not be the least of the Glory in which he will shine to Saints LVI Distance and Darkness of Souls here in Flesh who would Fain know more of God and the heavenly World and cannot doth make our lives a burden by these unsatisfied desires There Glorious Presence and Intuition giveth full satisfaction LVII Our sin and imperfection here render us uncapable of being the Objects of God's full complacential Love though we have his benevolence which will bring us to it But there we shall in our several measures perfectly please God and be perfectly pleased in God for ever LVIII All things here are short and transitory from their beginning posting towards their end which is near and sure and still in our Eye so short is time that Beings here are next to nothing the Bubble of worldly Prosperity Pomp and fleshly Pleasure doth swell up and break in so short a Moment as that it Is and and Is not almost at once But the heavenly substances and their work and Joys are crowned by Duration being assuredly EVERLASTING Such O my Soul is the blessed Change which God will make The Reasons and Helps of my Belief and Hope of this Perfection 1. NAtural Reason assureth me that God made all Creatures fitted to their intended use Even Bruits are more fit for their several Offices than Man is He giveth no Creature its faculties in vain Whatever a wise Man maketh he fits it to the use which he made it for But Man's Faculties are Enabled to think of a God of our relation and our duty to him of our hopes from him and our fears of him Of the state of our Souls related to his judgment of what will befall us after Death reward or punishment and how to prepare for it
that I understand and by willing that I will c. 2. I am sure by these Acts that I have the power or faculties to do them For none doth that which it cannot do 3. And I know that it is a substance that hath these powers For nothing can do nothing My Soul then being certainly an intellective Volitive Vital substance 1. I have no reason to think that God who annihilateth not the least Sand will annihilate so noble a substance 2. Nor that he will destroy those Powers which are its Essential form and turn it into some other thing 3. Nor that such Essential powers shall lie as dead unactive and so be continued in vain 4. There remaining therefore nothing uncertain to natural Reason but the continuance of Individuation to separate Souls 1. Apparitions and Wirches cases have put that out of doubt notwithstanding many Fables and Delusions 2. Christ hath put it more out of doubt 3. While substance faculties and acts continue it is the errour of our selfish state in Flesh which maketh any fear too near a Union which shall end our individuation The greatest Union will be the greatest Perfection and no loss to Souls XVII God's wonderful Providences for the Church and single Saints on Earth are such as tell us of that love and care which will bring them afterwards to him XVIII The Nature of God taketh off the terrour of my departure much I am sure I shall die at the will and into the Hand of Infinite Essential Love and Goodness whose love should draw up my longing Soul XIX I am going to a God whose Mercies have â—ong told me that he loveth me better than my dearest Friend doth and better than I love my self and is a far better chooser of my lot XX. As he hath absolute right to dispose of his own so indeed the fulfilling of his Will is the ultimate end of all things and therefore most desirable in itself And his will shall be fulfilled on me XXI I go to a glorified Saviour who came down to fetch me up and hath conquered and sanctified Death and made it my Birth-day for Glory and taketh me for his dear bought own and interest and is in Glory ready to receive his own XXII I go to that Saviour who on the Cross commended his Spirit into his Fathers Hand and taught me with dying Stephen to say Lord Jesus receive my Spirit XXIII I go no solitary untrodden way but follow all the Faithful since the death of Abel to this day save Henoch and Elias who all went by Death into that glorious World where I shall find them XXIV I have so long groaned under a languid Body and in a blind distracted and by Man uncurable World where Satan by Lies Malice and Murder reigneth in alas how many and specially am so weary of my own darkness and sinful imperfection that I have great reason to be willing of deliverance XXV I have had so large a share of Mercies in this World already in time and manifold comforts from God that reason commandeth me to rest in God's time for my removal XXVI I shall leave some fruits not useless to serve the Church when I am gone and if good be done I have my end XXVII When I am gone God will raise up and use others to do his appointed work on Earth And a Church shall be continued to his praise And the Spirits in Heaven will rejoice therein XXVIII When I am gone I shall not wish to be again on Earth XXIX Satan by his temptations and all his instruments would never have done so much as he doth in the World to keep us from Heaven if there were not a Heaven which Conquerors obtain XXX When darkness and uncertainty of the manner of the action and fruition of separated Souls would daunt me it is enough to know explicitely so much as is explicitely revealed and implicitely to trust Christ with all the rest Our Eyes are in our Head who knoweth for us Knowledg of Glory is part of fruition And therefore we must expect here no more than is suited to a life of Faith XXXI All my part is to do my own duty and then trust God obeying his commanding will and fully and joyfully resting in his disposing and rewarding will There is no rest for Souls but in the Will of God and there with full Trust to repose our Souls in Life and at Death is the only way of a safe and comfortable departure XXXII The glorious Marriage day of the Lamb cannot now be far off when the number of the Elect shall be compleat and Christ will come with his glorious Angels and will be glorified in his Saints and admired in all Believers and there shall be a New Heaven and a New Earth wherein dwelleth Righteousness and that Kingdom shall come where that which God hath prepared for them that love him Eye hath not seen Ear hath not heard nor hath it entred into the Heart of Man to have a formal full conception of it Come Lord Jesus come quickly Amen Fear not then O my Soul to lay down this Flesh Mercy hath kept it up for my preparing work but O what a burdensom and chargeable a Companion hath it been Is it better than the dwelling place of perfect Spirits O what are my groans and all my cold and faint Petitions and my dull Thanksgiving to their harmonious joyful Praise If a Day in God's Courts be better than a Thousand what is a Day yea what is Everlastingness in the heavenly Society and Work O how hateful a thing is darkness and unbelief when the remnants of them thus stop poor Souls in their ascent And make us half unwilling to go home What! unwilling to be with my glorified Lord Unwilling to be with Saints and Angels who are all Life Light and Love Unwilling to see the Glory of Jehovah O foolish sinful Soul Hath Christ done so much to purchase the heavenly Glory for thee and now art thou unwilling to go into the possession of it Hast thou been seeking and praying and labouring and suffering so many Years for that which now thou seemest scarce willing to obtain Dost thou not judge thy self unworthy of Eternal Life when thou no more desirest to enjoy it All this is long of thy too much adherence unto SELF and SENSE Thou art still desiring sensitive satisfaction and not content to know thy part wouldst know that for thy self which Christ knoweth for thee As if thou couldst better trust thy self than him Fear not weak Soul it is our Fathers good pleasure to give thee the Kingdom Trust infinite Power Wisdom and Love Trust that faithful gracious Saviour who hath so wonderfully merited to be trusted Trust that promise which never deceived any one and which is confirmed by so many Miracles and by the Oath and by the Spirit of God Whenever thou departest from this house of Flesh the Arms of Mercy are open to embrace thee yea
and ease a Man's Faith is not tried to the uttermost by actual forsaking all And yet an easy Death alone doth not fully try a Man For they that know that all must die may submit to this who cannot bear long pains before it But great and long pains and the Sentence of Death together are the trial And if God will so try me why should I repine Flesh will groan but the Mind may obediently submit It is but Flesh that Flesh that hath tempted and imprisoned my Soul I have too much loved it and am too loth to leave it And is it not Mercy from God to make me weary of it God is engaged against Idols that is all that is loved and pleased before him and if any thing that 's likest to be this Flesh It 's corruptibility tells us that both its pleasure and its pain will be but short Long pain is usually tolerable And intolerable pain will conquer Nature and not be long The Grace of Christ is sufficient for us and his strength is manifested in our weakness when he will not take the Thorn out of our Flesh though as Christ and Paul did we pray thrice or oftner And to be impatient with Death is to repine that we are born Mortal men and to fly from Heaven and all true Hopes and all the Felicity purchased by Christ And is this renouncing the World and trusting Christ for Life everlasting And why fear we that which endeth all our pains and fears A true Believer never suffereth so much but his Mercies are far more and greater than his sufferings His Soul is united to Christ His hopes of Heaven have a sure Foundation He is sealed up to Glory Rest and Joy are near at hand And former Mercies should not be forgotten And should not such men patiently endure O what a shameful contradiction is it to choose Heaven as our only Portion to believe in Christ for it and to seek it as the business of all our lives and yet to be loth to die that we may obtain it and to fly with fear from that which we so seek and hope for What a contradiction is it to call God our God and Father the God of Love and to call Christ our Gracious glorified Redeemer and yet to Fly from his presence with distrustful fear Almighty love may correct us may kill us but it cannot finally hurt true Believers So much of Moses and Elias discourse of the Sufferings and Death of Christ § 13. Sure it is not true that the Souls of the Fathers before Christ's coming did not enter into Heaven but lay in some inferiour Limbus For Moses and Elias came from Heaven their shining glory shewed that and their discourse with Christ and the Voice and glory that went with them And it is not to be thought that they were separated from the rest of the Souls of the Faithful and with Henoch were in Heaven by themselves alone and the rest elsewhere Though it 's said that God's House hath many Mansions and there are various degrees of Glory yet the blessed are all Fellow-Citizens of one Society and Children in one Family of God And they that came from East and West shall sit down with Abraham Isaac and Jacob in the Kingdom of God and Lazarus is in Abraham's bosom and the believing Thief with Christ in Paradise § 14. It seems that Moses and Elias appeared thus to fore shew the Resurrection of Christ and of the Faithful and to make it easier to the three Disciples to believe it Why should they doubt whether Christ should rise when they saw Moses that was risen before him And why should they doubt of the Resurrection of the Faithful and the Glory following when they saw these glorified Saints Some think that this Apparition was for the strengthening of Christ himself whose humane Nature had use for such Ministry also of Angels But it 's more certain that it was for the strengthening of the Disciples Faith and of ours by their Testimony As it 's said Joh. 12. 30. This Voice came not because of me but for your sakes § 15. It is much worth our noting in what a Communion this Specimen of the Kingdom of Heaven was represented in the holy Mount Here was a Voice of God and a glimpse of his Glory Here was our Redeemer in a glimpse of his Glory Here was a Moses and Elias in a glimpse of their Glory And here were three beloved Disciples yet in the Flesh and in weakness of Faith which needed such confirmation God our Father and our Saviour the Saints of Heaven and those on Earth are all of one Society or Kingdom there is a near relation and a near communion among them all When the Eternal Word disdained not so wonderful condescension as to come to us in the form of a Servant even of a poor despised Crucified Man it 's less wonder that Moses and Elias should come down as his Witnesses and Servants Heb. 12. 23 c. The heavenly Jerusalem and City of the Living God of which we are Enrolled Burgesses or Heirs hath many parts There is the Assembly of the first Born and innumerable Angels and the Spirits of the Just made perfect and Jesus the Mediator of the New Covâ—nant and God the Judge of all O what holy glorious joyful Company shall we have above Christ and his Angels will not despise the least of Saints § 16. But what was the Introduction to this Apparition and Transfiguration It was Christ's praying Luk. 9. 28 29. He went up into a Mountain to pray and as he prayed he was transfigured Surely this is written to invite and encourage us to pray We are in greater need than Christ It 's folly in Unbelievers to think Prayer vain because God is unchangeable We are not unchangeable And the exercise of Faith dependance on God and true desires being the Conditions required in a due Receiver maketh those Blessings become ourâ—s which else we had been uncapable of God who commandeth fervent Prayer hath promised to answer it Though we must not think to be the Rulers of the World nor have whatever our Flesh or solly doth desire because we ask it earnestly yet true Prayer is the appointed way for obtaining what we need and is best for us and we are fitted to receive And as Christ had this wonderful return to his Prayers his Servants have experience that their choicest Mercies for Soul and Body have come this way § 17. Though the three Disciples were admitted to this glorious Society how different was their case from that of Christ and Moses and Elias In the beginning of the heavenly concourse they were asleep with heaviness Even while this glorious Company stood near them Alas such is our infirmity in Flesh and such a Clog are these earthly Bodies to us that when God is present and Heaven is before us and we have the greatest cause to watch and pray a heavy weary sluggish Body even
it assureth them of their Union with Christ when they live because he liveth even by the Spirit which is his Seal and Pledge 3. And it proveth both a future life and their title to it For God maketh not all this preparation for it by his Spirit in vain But alas if it were not a work that hath great impediment it would not be so rare in the World What is it in us that keepeth the Sun of Love from so shining on us as to revive our Souls into Holy contentments and delight It must be supposed 1. That all God's gifts are free and that he giveth not to all alike The wonderful variety of Creatures proveth this 2. The reasons of his differencing works are his own will and inferiour reasons are mostly unknown to us of which he is not bound to give us an account 3. But yet we see that God doth his works in a causal order and one work prepareth for another and he maketh variety of capacities which occasion variety of receptions and of gifts and he useth to give every thing that to which he hath brought it into the next capacity and disposition And therefore in general we may conclude that we feel not God's Love shed abroad upon the Heart because the Heart is undisposed and is not in the next disposition thereto And abused free will hath been the cause of that That we have Grace is to be ascribed to God That we are without it is to be ascribed to our selves 1. Heinous guilt of former sin may keep a Soul much without the delights of Divine love And the heinousness is not only in the greatness of the evil done materially but oft in our long and willful committing of smaller sins against Knowledge and Conscience and consideration The Spirit thus grieved by hardened Hearts and willful repulses is not quickly and easily a comforter to such a Soul and when the sinner doth repent it leaveth him more in uncertainty of his sincerity when he thinks I do but repent purpose and promise now and so I oft did and yet returned the next temptation to my sin And how can I tell that my Heart is not the fame and I should sin again if I had the same temptations O what doubts and perplexities doth oft willful sinning prepare for 2. And sins of omission have here a great part The sweetness of God's Love is a reward which sloathful Servants are unmeet for It follows a Well done good and faithful Servant There is needful a close attendance upon God and devotedness to him and improvement of Gospel Grace and Revelation to make a Soul fit for amicable sweet communion with God All that will save a Soul from Hell will not do this He that will taste these Divine Love-tokens must 1. Be no stranger to holy Meditation and Prayer nor unconstant cold and cursory in them but must dwell and walk above with God 2. And he must be wholly addicted to improve his Masters Talents in the World and make it his design and trade on Earth to do all the good in the World he can And to keep his Soul clean from the flesh and worldly vanity And to such a Soul God will make known his Love 3. And alas how ordinarily doth some carnal aâ—fection corrupt the appetite of the Soul When we grow too much in love with mens esteem or with earthly Riches or when our Throats or Phantasies can master us into obedience or vain desires of Meat Drink Recreation Dwelling c. the Soul loseth its Appetite to things Divine and nothing relisheth where Appetite is gone or sick We cannot serve God and Mammon and we cannot at once taste much pleasure both in God and Mammon The old austere Christians found the mortification of the fleshly Lusts a great advantage to the Souls delight in God 4. And many errours about God's nature and works much hinder us from feasting on his Love 5. And especially the slight and ignorant thoughts of Christ and the wondrous workings of God's Love in him 6. And specially if our belief itself once shake or be not well and firmly founded 7. And our slight thoughts of the Office and Work of the Holy Ghost on Souls and our necessity of it and our not begging and waiting for the Spirits special help 8. And lastly our unfaithful forgetfulness of manifold experiences and testimonies of his Love which should still be as fresh before us Alas my Soul thou feelest thy defect and knowest the hinderance but what hope is there of remedy Will God ever raise so low so dull so guilty a Heart to such a foretast of Glory as is this effusion of his Love by the Holy Ghost The lightsom Daies in Spring and Summer when the Sun reviveth the late naked Earth and clothes it with delectable beauties differs not more from Night and Winter than a Soul thus revived with the Love of God doth differ from an unbelieving formal Soul Though this great change be above my power the Spirit of God is not impotent backward barren or inexâ—â—able He hath appointed us means for so high a state and he appointeth no means in vain Were my own Heart obedient to my commands all these following I would lay upon it Yea I 'll do it and beg the help of God I. I charge thee think not of God's Goodness and Love as unproportionable to his Greatness and his Knowledge Nor overlook in the whole frame of Heaven and Earth the manifestation of one any more than of the other II. Therefore let not the the wickedness and misery of the World tempt thee to think basely of all God's Mercies to the World nor the peculiar priviledges of the Churches draw thee to deny or contemn God's common Mercies unto all III. I charge thee to make the study of Christ and the great work of Man's Redemption by him thy chiefest Learning and most serious and constant work and in that wonderful Glass to see the Face of Divine Love and to hear what is said of it by the Son from Heaven and to come boldly as reconciled to God by him IV. O see that thy repentance for former sins against knowledge and Conscience and the Motions of God's Spirit be sound and throughly lamented and abhorred how small soever the matter was in itself That so the doubt of thy sincerity keep not up doubts of God's acceptance V. Let thy dependance on the Holy Ghost as given from Christ be henceforth as serious and constant to thee as is the dependance of the Eye on the light of the Sun and of natural Life upon its heat and motion Beg hard for the Holy Spirit and gladly entertain it VI. O never forget the many and great experiences thou hast had these almost Sixty years observed of marvellous favour and providence of God for Soul and Body in every time place condition relation company or change thou hast been in Lose not all these Love-tokens of thy Father while thou