pleasure_n and_o profit_n whereof_o i_o may_v have_v be_v capable_a but_o for_o myself_o i_o regret_n it_o not_o for_o alas_o how_o vain_a how_o transitory_a how_o full_a of_o vexation_n be_v the_o best_a of_o earthly_a commodity_n etc._n etc._n truth_n have_v be_v say_v to_o be_v the_o object_n of_o the_o understanding_n and_o good_a of_o the_o will_v totus_fw-la teres_fw-la atque_fw-la rotundus_fw-la express_v a_o honest_a man_n yet_o a_o bowl_n perfect_o round_a except_o upon_o a_o ground_n exact_o plain_a hold_v not_o well_o its_o straight_a line_n and_o way_n a_o strong_a bias_n better_o maintain_v itself_o against_o whampe_n and_o unevennesse_n so_o do_v a_o man_n bias_v with_o some_o sinister_a affection_n often_o run_v a_o more_o constant_a and_o thrive_a course_n than_o he_o who_o have_v constitute_v truth_n and_o true_a good_a his_o mistress_n but_o himself_o be_v round_o and_o his_o way_n uncertain_a and_o uneven_a he_o vary_v and_o fluctuate_v according_o as_o i_o have_v often_o say_v truth_n to_o we_o be_v such_o obscure_a high_a twinkle_a star_n that_o we_o hardly_o fasten_v upon_o they_o what_o please_v we_o be_v only_o certain_a unto_o we_o i_o speak_v in_o a_o natural_a way_n for_o supernatural_o in_o faith_n alone_o be_v all_o truth_n all_o good_a certainty_n and_o pleasure_n till_o god_n give_v i_o that_o happy_a gift_n i_o be_v a_o bowl_n without_o bias_n a_o ship_n without_o steer_n or_o star_n i_o be_v more_o than_o most_o miserable_a if_o my_o resentment_n my_o heart_n and_o affection_n be_v set_v upon_o this_o world_n but_o i_o humble_o thank_v god_n it_o be_v far_o otherwise_o with_o i_o and_o now_o as_o there_o ever_o have_v be_v a_o difference_n make_v between_o such_o as_o cast_v themselves_o into_o open_a and_o eminent_a mischief_n and_o such_o as_o fall_v into_o unhappy_a consequence_n of_o evil_n unforeseen_a so_o hope_v i_o to_o find_v favour_n i_o and_o pardon_n from_o the_o better_a sort_n and_o the_o worst_a i_o respect_v not_o and_o as_o that_o prince_n who_o plain_a in_o personage_n and_o habit_n be_v by_o mistake_v set_v to_o drudge_n for_o his_o own_o entertainment_n and_o be_v discover_v and_o demand_v what_o he_o mean_v answer_v that_o he_o do_v penance_n for_o his_o evil-favourednesse_a so_o be_o i_o content_v to_o undergo_v and_o submit_v myself_o to_o the_o not_o undeserved_a penance_n of_o my_o fate_n with_o a_o acquiescence_n of_o fiat_n voluntas_fw-la tua_fw-la sed_fw-la libre_fw-la a_o nos_fw-la a_o malo_fw-la january_n 2._o 1637._o nemo_fw-la laeditur_fw-la nisi_fw-la a_o seipso_fw-la never_o prove_v itself_o more_o true_a then_o in_o i_o i_o have_v be_v both_o agent_n and_o author_n of_o my_o misery_n and_o suffering_n i_o have_v be_v both_o criminal_a and_o tormenter_n god_n make_v i_o strong_a i_o have_v make_v myself_o weak_a god_n entrust_v i_o with_o many_o talent_n of_o advantage_n above_o other_o i_o have_v misemployed_n and_o abuse_v they_o and_o myself_o from_o my_o youth_n i_o have_v suffer_v his_o scourge_n and_o terror_n with_o a_o trouble_a soul_n yet_o such_o be_v his_o mercy_n unto_o i_o that_o it_o be_v good_a and_o happy_a for_o i_o that_o i_o have_v be_v trouble_v as_o i_o have_v turn_v unto_o he_o he_o have_v be_v gracious_o please_v to_o turn_v his_o countenance_n of_o favour_n towards_o i_o heal_v my_o wound_n with_o the_o sovereign_a balm_n of_o his_o grace_n and_o refresh_v my_o soul_n with_o his_o water_n of_o life_n humble_v i_o to_o exalt_v i_o and_o chastise_v i_o in_o a_o fatherly_a correction_n to_o prevent_v my_o eternal_a punishment_n how_o sweet_a oh_o lord_n be_v thy_o mercy_n beyond_o comparison_n beyond_o my_o expression_n the_o false_a and_o flatter_a joy_n of_o sensuality_n be_v mere_a sourness_n bitterness_n and_o vexation_n in_o respect_n continue_v thy_o grace_n unto_o i_o perfect_a thy_o own_o work_n and_o make_v i_o a_o instrument_n of_o thy_o glory_n confirm_v i_o in_o the_o contempt_n of_o this_o world_n vanity_n and_o as_o on_o i_o so_o work_v upon_o the_o world_n by_o thy_o almighty_a spirit_n thy_o save_a health_n that_o thy_o will_n may_v be_v do_v in_o earth_n as_o in_o heaven_n nothing_o but_o thy_o all-powerfull_a spirit_n can_v effect_v it_o draw_v we_o and_o we_o shall_v come_v and_o let_v it_o be_v through_o tribulation_n sorrow_n fire_n and_o whatsoever_o long_a or_o short_a a_o fair_a or_o rugged_a way_n so_o it_o lead_v to_o thou_o we_o shall_v be_v happy_a above_o measure_n amen_o amen_n sweet_a saviour_n let_v thy_o precious_a wound_n cure_v i_o and_o save_v my_o soul_n which_o be_v by_o purchase_v thou_o january_n 15._o 1637._o beauty_n and_o the_o delight_n of_o the_o eye_n consist_v in_o well-ordered_a lustre_n of_o colour_n proportion_n and_o motion_n yet_o forbear_v it_o not_o to_o be_v extraordinary_o affect_v in_o the_o enjoy_n of_o such_o object_n as_o the_o appetite_n and_o fantasy_n have_v prescribe_v to_o themselves_o for_o a_o necessary_a or_o voluptuous_a satisfaction_n whereby_o appear_v that_o we_o become_v most_o ravish_v and_o transport_v by_o the_o operation_n and_o co-operation_n of_o the_o mind_n who_o true_a and_o noble_a object_n be_v virtue_n and_o goodness_n hence_o spring_v the_o conceit_n that_o if_o virtue_n be_v visible_a it_o will_v beget_v in_o we_o most_o transcendent_a affection_n so_o beautiful_a so_o amiable_a it_o will_v be_v to_o a_o generous_a soul_n god_n be_v the_o author_n and_o prototype_n of_o all_o beauty_n and_o goodness_n how_o infinite_o then_o beyond_o comparison_n sweet_a fair_a and_o lovely_a must_v he_o be_v to_o such_o as_o apprehend_v and_o contemplate_v his_o glory_n and_o to_o who_o he_o impart_v himself_o and_o his_o mercy_n as_o the_o sight_n of_o the_o body_n of_o the_o sun_n so_o fill_v the_o sense_n that_o for_o the_o present_a it_o can_v admit_v no_o other_o conceit_n so_o do_v the_o glorious_a speculation_n of_o god_n essence_n and_o majesty_n annihilate_v and_o expel_v all_o earthly_a affection_n how_o vain_a how_o most_o poor_a and_o bestial_a be_v vulgar_a delight_n in_o respect_n of_o that_o tincture_n that_o rapture_n and_o eternity_n of_o bliss_n which_o flow_v from_o his_o divine_a grace_n and_o knowledge_n how_o be_v it_o possible_a after_o such_o influence_n to_o relish_v the_o drossy_a pleasure_n of_o the_o world_n for_o the_o most_o part_n common_a with_o beast_n fleet_a molest_a lame_a miserable_a be_v the_o heart_n which_o he_o do_v not_o season_n disconsolate_a the_o comfort_n which_o proceed_v not_o from_o his_o grace_n who_o without_o that_o can_v live_v content_v can_v be_v content_a to_o be_v one_o of_o circe_n beast_n and_o live_v and_o die_v in_o a_o drunken_a fit_n i_o most_o humble_o thank_v thou_o my_o gracious_a god_n and_o saviour_n that_o thou_o have_v vouchsafe_v to_o open_v my_o eye_n to_o thy_o glory_n and_o the_o world_n vanity_n till_o than_o i_o never_o find_v solid_a or_o permanent_a comfort_n i_o have_v like_o other_o be_v apt_a to_o conceive_v that_o this_o world_n delight_n be_v our_o proper_a portion_n of_o thy_o assignment_n but_o thy_o great_a grace_n have_v enlighten_v i_o and_o with_o a_o strong_a hand_n teach_v i_o to_o choose_v the_o better_a part_n i_o have_v since_o thy_o illumination_n affect_v above_o all_o thing_n to_o set_v forth_o thy_o grace_n mercy_n and_o glory_n but_o pardon_v i_o oh_o lord_n they_o surpass_v my_o poor_a ability_n i_o be_o a_o earthen_a vessel_n weak_a and_o craze_a as_o unable_a as_o unworthy_a to_o be_v a_o fit_a instrument_n to_o sound_v forth_o thy_o praise_n i_o be_v ambitious_a to_o have_v wrought_v thy_o divine_a love_n upon_o other_o that_o they_o with_o i_o may_v constitute_v thou_o the_o sole_a scope_n and_o lord_n of_o their_o counsel_n their_o project_n their_o action_n but_o a_o full_a and_o rich_a magazine_n than_o i_o and_o a_o strong_a health_n be_v require_v pardon_v oh_o lord_n that_o i_o withdraw_v myself_o conscious_a of_o my_o weakness_n and_o inability_n but_o what_o my_o pen_n can_v attain_v my_o tongue_n and_o action_n shall_v by_o thy_o grace_n endeavour_v to_o supply_v january_n 14._o 1637._o charity_n imply_v the_o love_n of_o god_n and_o man_n without_o it_o whatsoever_o we_o pretend_v we_o be_v infidel_n object_n of_o hatred_n to_o our_o maker_n to_o our_o inferior_n what_o condition_n can_v be_v more_o contemptible_a no_o delight_n be_v comparable_a to_o that_o which_o reflect_v upon_o a_o good_a mind_n from_o its_o own_o goodness_n extend_v upon_o other_o especial_o when_o our_o conscience_n bear_v we_o witness_v that_o we_o do_v it_o out_o of_o a_o true_a love_n and_o obedience_n to_o our_o most_o merciful_a and_o omnipotent_a god_n to_o pretend_v faith_n and_o be_v without_o charity_n be_v to_o mock_v god_n and_o ourselves_o better_o be_v it_o for_o we_o to_o be_v like_o beast_n without_o all_o knowledge_n of_o god_n then_o to_o play_v
your_o bound_n place_n force_v no_o man_n they_o have_v their_o several_a advantage_n and_o disadvantage_n like_o other_o thing_n and_o be_v to_o be_v embrace_v as_o discretion_n and_o affection_n shall_v lead_v certain_o the_o travail_a course_n use_v of_o late_a especial_o in_o the_o most_o spiritual_a and_o academical_a mind_n breed_v a_o great_a partiality_n to_o the_o equal_a conversation_n of_o town_n but_o not_o without_o danger_n of_o be_v alien_v from_o the_o knowledge_n of_o your_o own_o and_o as_o much_o abuse_v therein_o by_o other_o as_o of_o abuse_v yourself_o in_o be_v carry_v away_o with_o the_o city_n vanity_n and_o unfruitful_a idleness_n the_o country_n life_n be_v assure_o most_o natural_a pleasant_a settle_a and_o profitable_a to_o the_o english_a breed_n and_o course_n do_v but_o you_o care_v for_o yourself_o as_o i_o have_v care_v for_o you_o and_o all_o shall_v with_o god_n blessing_n go_v well_o with_o your_o mind_n and_o well_o with_o your_o fortune_n seek_v your_o happiness_n from_o god_n grace_n and_o bounty_n he_o will_v not_o fail_v to_o give_v it_o you_o make_v christ_n your_o rock_n and_o you_o have_v a_o sure_a foundation_n december_n 19_o 1637._o quos_fw-la perdere_fw-la vult_fw-la jupiter_n hos_fw-la dementat_fw-la be_v a_o true_a say_n apply_v to_o a_o false_a god_n but_o my_o god_n have_v often_o deprive_v i_o in_o some_o particular_n of_o the_o use_n of_o my_o ordinary_a reason_n and_o discourse_n to_o act_v thing_n against_o my_o knowledge_n my_o end_n my_o resolution_n and_o myself_o he_o have_v raise_v oftentimes_o strange_a and_o independent_a combine_v constellation_n against_o i_o i_o have_v evident_o discover_v his_o footstep_n therein_o and_o he_o have_v thereby_o lead_v i_o to_o my_o salvation_n there_o be_v no_o redemption_n to_o mankind_n but_o in_o christ_n nor_o can_v the_o wound_a and_o trouble_a soul_n find_v any_o other_o sanctuary_n he_o alone_o be_v the_o horn_n of_o our_o salvation_n the_o cornueopia_n of_o a_o perfect_a plenty_n and_o felicity_n unto_o we_o in_o this_o and_o the_o eternal_a life_n i_o have_v be_v master_n of_o a_o dog_n who_o when_o i_o have_v threaten_v in_o stead_n of_o fly_v he_o have_v appease_v i_o by_o a_o submiss_a fawn_a upon_o i_o thou_o my_o god_n be_v in_o like_a manner_n merciful_a to_o such_o as_o seek_v thou_o and_o humble_v themselves_o unto_o thou_o praise_v to_o thy_o bless_a name_n for_o evermore_o amen_o amen_n january_n 21._o 1637._o our_o faith_n be_v well_o allude_v to_o a_o rock_n and_o our_o saviour_n to_o the_o cornerstone_n of_o a_o building_n for_o without_o they_o we_o be_v all_o totter_a and_o infirm_a nor_o do_v the_o sweetness_n of_o any_o earthly_a pleasure_n make_v amends_o for_o a_o unstable_a wander_a mind_n good_a god_n why_o do_v thou_o not_o to_o frailty_n give_v one_o life_n to_o learn_v another_o life_n to_o live_v why_o so_o it_o be_v who_o here_o do_v thou_o regard_n eternal_a life_n and_o joy_n be_v his_o reward_n suave_fw-la mari_fw-fr magno_fw-la turbantibus_fw-la aequora_fw-la ventis_fw-la eterra_fw-la alterius_fw-la magnum_fw-la spectare_fw-la laborem_fw-la unexpressible_a be_v that_o tranquillity_n ease_n joy_n and_o peace_n which_o i_o find_v by_o have_v free_v myself_o from_o this_o world_n common_a interest_n and_o encumbrance_n my_o soul_n be_v like_o a_o bird_n escape_v from_o the_o fowler_n net_n and_o i_o be_o as_o a_o free_a spectator_n behold_v the_o busy_a burden_a actor_n of_o this_o world_n tragedy_n comedy_n farcies_o and_o folly_n good_a lord_n confirm_v i_o more_o and_o more_o and_o make_v i_o thankful_a in_o such_o my_o joy_n once_o belong_v to_o the_o alphabet_n sonnet_n of_o the_o letter_n e._n but_o we_o like_o false-bred_n eagle_n fly_v the_o sight_n of_o thy_o to_o humane_a sense_n confound_v light_n bartas_n and_o herbert_n lead_v but_o fly_v so_o high_a our_o flowery_a waxen_a wing_n dare_v not_o come_v nigh_o or_o it_o be_v hard_a to_o see_v they_o hard_o to_o come_v nigh_o verse_n i_o confess_v though_o such_o be_v best_a which_o most_o resemble_v prose_n yet_o as_o i_o be_o now_o affect_v especial_o in_o that_o measure_n which_o i_o have_v late_o choose_v be_v not_o so_o fit_v to_o my_o present_a subject_n there_o be_v divers_a kind_n and_o degree_n of_o faith_n the_o generality_n of_o such_o as_o call_v and_o think_v themselves_o christian_n go_v on_o in_o a_o course_n childish_a kind_n of_o faith_n which_o give_v little_a tincture_n to_o their_o affection_n and_o less_o to_o their_o action_n yet_o according_a to_o their_o nature_n in_o some_o thing_n they_o make_v more_o in_o other_o less_o conscience_n in_o a_o far_o proceed_n and_o consideration_n of_o religion_n they_o lay_v hold_v on_o christ_n and_o use_v he_o as_o a_o salve_n for_o their_o sin_n and_o sinful_a propension_n but_o when_o the_o good_a spirit_n of_o god_n by_o mean_n of_o affliction_n or_o otherwise_o thorough_o awaken_v they_o and_o work_n upon_o their_o soul_n then_o and_o not_o till_o then_o be_v we_o true_o convert_v then_o be_v our_o eye_n open_v to_o see_v and_o feel_v the_o ugliness_n of_o sin_n with_o the_o sweetness_n of_o his_o save_a grace_n and_o favour_n and_o thus_o oh_o lord_n have_v it_o please_v thou_o in_o thy_o infinite_a mercy_n to_o work_v upon_o i_o now_o i_o see_v and_o pity_v the_o world_n vanity_n and_o corruption_n now_o as_o thou_o have_v die_v for_o i_o i_o will_v rather_o die_v a_o thousand_o death_n then_o to_o grieve_v thy_o good_a spirit_n by_o my_o least_o consent_n to_o sin_n as_o thou_o have_v do_v to_o i_o so_o vouchsafe_v to_o extend_v thy_o extraordinary_a hand_n of_o mercy_n upon_o other_o withhold_v they_o from_o sophisticate_a thy_o sincere_a religion_n with_o their_o poor_a and_o rot_a policy_n we_o may_v say_v of_o it_o as_o some_o use_v it_o as_o be_v say_v of_o tilt_n and_o tourney_n that_o it_o be_v too_o much_o for_o jest_n too_o little_a for_o earnest_n it_o can_v be_v expect_v that_o the_o people_n will_v follow_v except_o their_o teacher_n lead_v and_o in_o the_o sincerity_n of_o their_o life_n show_v the_o way_n their_o tithe_n be_v substance_n their_o show_n and_o ceremony_n alone_o in_o thy_o service_n deserve_v they_o not_o magistrates_n when_o they_o obey_v thou_o may_v more_o just_o and_o exact_o expect_v our_o obedience_n a_o gross_a affectation_n of_o policy_n in_o religion_n minister_v too_o much_o occasion_n to_o weak_a christian_n to_o judge_n and_o conclude_v of_o religion_n rather_o as_o a_o humane_a policy_n then_o divine_a truth_n if_o any_o sin_n be_v venial_a such_o appear_v most_o pardonable_a as_o carry_v with_o they_o a_o kind_n of_o warrant_n from_o nature_n and_o a_o gratification_n to_o other_o and_o thou_o o_o god_n art_n least_o indulgent_a to_o such_o as_o offend_v of_o malicious_a wickedness_n they_o be_v like_o the_o planet_n and_o star_n in_o the_o heaven_n to_o guide_v and_o comfort_v we_o by_o their_o sweet_a influence_n when_o they_o prove_v malign_v which_o the_o star_n seldom_o do_v they_o be_v our_o mischief_n and_o our_o plague_n and_o as_o the_o star_n have_v their_o shine_a and_o influence_n more_o for_o our_o than_o their_o own_o good_a so_o ought_v they_o to_o exercise_v their_o power_n it_o be_v a_o soul_n unhappy_a fancy_n that_o please_v itself_o in_o displease_v other_o i_o have_v of_o late_o be_v urge_v to_o work_v and_o be_o at_o this_o time_n work_v upon_o a_o piece_n of_o ground_n which_o have_v long_o be_v design_v for_o garden_v and_o so_o employ_v it_o have_v have_v much_o cost_n and_o industry_n bestow_v upon_o it_o but_o the_o nature_n of_o the_o soil_n consist_v of_o so_o stiff_a a_o clay_n that_o it_o have_v ever_o render_v a_o ill_a account_n and_o return_v of_o such_o feed_v and_o plant_n as_o have_v be_v entrust_v unto_o it_o lusty_a and_o fruitful_a it_o have_v show_v itself_o in_o grass_n and_o rank_n in_o weed_n there_o be_v a_o evil_a herb_n they_o call_v twitch_n which_o have_v overrun_v it_o of_o such_o nature_n that_o have_v once_o possess_v a_o ground_n the_o soil_n must_v be_v whole_o alter_v and_o overcome_v or_o no_o good_a thing_n will_v thrive_v commit_v unto_o it_o my_o gardener_n to_o work_v a_o cure_n have_v not_o only_o dig_v and_o manure_v but_o have_v bring_v a_o new_a and_o better_a earth_n upon_o it_o so_o that_o now_o with_o a_o due_a industry_n and_o water_v observe_v it_o can_v hardly_o fail_v to_o yield_v a_o grateful_a and_o faithful_a fertility_n some_o soil_n be_v cure_v by_o much_o break_n some_o by_o fire_n some_o by_o inundation_n frost_n and_o hard_a weather_n make_v a_o good_a preparation_n all_o be_v happy_a that_o confer_v a_o better_n and_o improvement_n in_o the_o disease_n of_o our_o body_n where_o a_o evil_a habit_n prevail_v and_o ill_a humour_n abound_v some_o be_v rectify_v by_o purgation_n some_o
my_o fortune_n and_o course_n where_o to_o dwell_v what_o to_o sell_v or_o keep_v what_o to_o disparke_n what_o and_o how_o to_o build_v at_o or_o to_o forbear_v which_o to_o a_o near_a consideration_n make_v no_o little_a anxiety_n whether_o to_o keep_v house_n or_o not_o find_v my_o wife_n and_o self_n unfit_a for_o it_o and_o yet_o as_o unfit_a to_o sojourn_v what_o physician_n to_o use_v and_o course_n to_o take_v to_o recover_v health_n whether_o i_o shall_v adventure_v to_o buy_v employment_n which_o seem_v necessary_a to_o my_o active_a spirit_n though_o my_o life_n in_o my_o conceit_n be_v desperate_a whether_o to_o adventure_v upon_o a_o strong_a diversion_n by_o a_o course_n in_o court_n and_o how_o far_o to_o comply_v with_o the_o time_n which_o little_o comply_v with_o my_o discourse_n whether_o to_o keep_v or_o break_v a_o rash_a vow_n of_o importance_n that_o cost_v i_o dear_a this_o and_o much_o more_o may_v well_o oppress_v a_o melancholy_a mind_n my_o diversion_n appear_v as_o fruit_n of_o a_o vain_a and_o prodigal_a disposition_n but_o alas_o they_o be_v nothing_o less_o i_o hope_v still_o to_o have_v recover_v myself_o and_o then_o i_o can_v have_v thrive_v well_o enough_o i_o be_v not_o unknown_a nor_o want_v a_o easy_a way_n to_o preferment_n but_o it_o please_v god_n by_o weaken_v i_o by_o confound_v i_o to_o bring_v i_o to_o he_o bless_a be_v his_o name_n i_o reckon_v it_o a_o supreme_a happiness_n etc._n etc._n november_n 8._o 1637._o truth_n exactness_n and_o perfection_n be_v oar_n of_o a_o rich_a mine_n but_o lie_v so_o deep_a that_o they_o often_o hardly_o recompense_v the_o labour_n of_o their_o extraction_n my_o end_n be_v not_o so_o much_o to_o vindicate_v as_o to_o give_v some_o true_a knowledge_n of_o myself_o and_o shake_v off_o the_o burden_n of_o my_o mind_n to_o my_o pen_n and_o paper_n it_o be_v unfit_a for_o i_o and_o i_o for_o it_o and_o yet_o i_o can_v avoid_v it_o and_o this_o be_v one_o of_o the_o unreconcilable_a property_n of_o my_o condition_n i_o write_v not_o to_o please_v i_o write_v not_o for_o ostentation_n and_o if_o i_o do_v praetulerim_fw-la scriptor_n delirus_fw-la inersque_fw-la videri_fw-la quam_fw-la sapere_fw-la &_o ringi_fw-la it_o be_v too_o true_a that_o the_o fine_a curious_a affect_a shoe_n often_o wring_v the_o foot_n high_a seat_n mind_n be_v brave_a and_o airy_a but_o low_a one_o quiet_a romae_fw-la tibur_n amo_fw-la ventosus_fw-la tibure_n romam_fw-la be_v a_o production_n of_o a_o fine_a but_o windy_a melancholy_a spirit_n will_v i_o be_v a_o idolater_n i_o will_v sacrifice_v to_o quiet_a and_o dulness_n i_o will_v affect_v wit_n and_o curiosity_n in_o nothing_o but_o to_o repent_v my_o sin_n and_o please_v my_o god_n gracious_a god_n it_o be_v thy_o infinite_a power_n and_o spirit_n that_o work_v in_o all_o thing_n vegetable_a and_o sensible_a creature_n in_o and_o at_o their_o first_o production_n without_o any_o discourse_n of_o they_o teach_v they_o their_o nourishment_n their_o sustentation_n thou_o be_v omni-present_a omniscient_a omnipotent_a assist_v i_o good_a god_n in_o my_o discourse_n in_o my_o resolution_n of_o dedicate_a myself_o whole_o unto_o thou_o etc._n etc._n november_n 9_o 1637._o go_v now_o presumptuous_a and_o overween_a man_n boast_v in_o thy_o prerogative_n of_o reason_n and_o nature_n confound_v thyself_o in_o thy_o own_o way_n and_o invention_n nature_n may_v lead_v thou_o to_o pleasure_n and_o profit_n and_o so_o common_o it_o do_v the_o most_o base_a and_o vulgar_a spirit_n but_o it_o must_v be_v a_o extraordinary_a supernatural_a spirit_n that_o can_v make_v thou_o thrive_v to_o this_o and_o a_o better_a world_n this_o the_o natural_a man_n discern_v not_o and_o the_o fool_n can_v understand_v but_o this_o the_o school_n of_o experience_n as_o well_o as_o of_o faith_n teach_v we_o thou_o oh_o god_n be_v the_o god_n of_o nature_n but_o the_o way_n of_o nature_n and_o religion_n be_v so_o diverse_a that_o it_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o irreligion_n to_o seek_v or_o measure_v thou_o in_o nature_n course_n the_o course_n of_o thy_o spirit_n and_o judgement_n run_v another_o way_n they_o thy_o decree_n thy_o grace_n be_v all_o supernatural_a and_o wonderful_a to_o thou_o be_v ascribe_v all_o wisdom_n justice_n power_n and_o majesty_n and_o here_o my_o most_o gracious_a god_n i_o humble_o thank_v thou_o for_o thy_o merciful_a and_o wonderful_a support_n through_o my_o whole_a course_n to_o my_o body_n to_o my_o mind_n to_o my_o fortune_n for_o it_o equal_v any_o thing_n that_o i_o can_v call_v strange_a that_o i_o have_v subsist_v through_o all_o my_o storm_n and_o suffering_n without_o have_v incur_v utter_a scorn_n and_o ruin_n shipwreck_n be_v not_o ill_o escape_v with_o loss_n and_o a_o good_a haven_n at_o last_o be_v not_o a_o little_a joy_n though_o thy_o storm_n have_v all_o past_a over_o i_o and_o see_v i_o have_v use_v this_o term_n of_o the_o psalm_n i_o can_v let_v pass_n how_o most_o apposite_a and_o accommodate_v i_o have_v find_v many_o of_o they_o to_o my_o condition_n as_o the_o 88_o and_o divers_a other_o in_o my_o friend_n be_v remove_v far_o from_o i_o and_o sundry_a other_o passage_n lord_n i_o humble_o thank_v thou_o that_o thou_o have_v so_o make_v my_o face_n ashamed_a as_o that_o i_o have_v get_v and_o find_v thou_o and_o find_v that_o of_o thy_o very_a mercy_n and_o faithfulness_n i_o have_v be_v trouble_v i_o can_v now_o call_v thou_o the_o god_n of_o my_o salvation_n my_o countenance_n and_o confidence_n for_o i_o have_v find_v the_o beam_n of_o thy_o mercy_n so_o to_o comfort_v i_o in_o darkness_n and_o misery_n as_o that_o i_o doubt_v not_o to_o apply_v to_o myself_o as_o well_o the_o psalm_n of_o consolation_n as_o i_o have_v do_v those_o of_o complaint_n and_o distress_n i_o can_v now_o look_v upon_o all_o this_o world_n glory_n pleasure_n and_o vanity_n with_o contempt_n and_o pity_n continue_v thy_o mercy_n and_o i_o have_v heaven_n upon_o earth_n thou_o be_v perfection_n of_o philosophy_n thou_o be_v the_o true_a summum_fw-la bonum_fw-la in_o thou_o be_v all_o fullness_n all_o joy_n humane_a discourse_n and_o resolution_n can_v do_v much_o but_o first_o motion_n and_o surprise_v upon_o the_o mind_n disturb_v nature_n concoction_n and_o the_o spirit_n even_o in_o mere_a nullity_n of_o conceit_n in_o despite_n of_o a_o firm_a faith_n and_o reason_n it_o be_v from_o god_n alone_o to_o prevent_v they_o to_o allay_v they_o tentation_n be_v often_o above_o the_o power_n of_o flesh_n and_o blood_n to_o resist_v the_o melancholy_a humour_n be_v most_o violent_a in_o hot_a and_o active_a spirit_n and_o constitution_n there_o it_o estuate_v there_o it_o ferment_n and_o boil_n how_o it_o suggest_v confound_v resolve_n and_o then_o again_o forget_v the_o circumstance_n of_o a_o former_a resolution_n and_o by_o forgetfulness_n or_o a_o new_a predominancy_n of_o humour_n relapse_n to_o a_o fresh_a rumination_n and_o confusion_n upon_o the_o same_o subject_n melancholy_n at_o the_o first_o be_v a_o querulous_a humour_n but_o in_o extremity_n it_o wrap_v itself_o in_o silence_n and_o exceed_v expression_n it_o dwell_v in_o inward_a conflict_n hope_n by_o god_n grace_n the_o best_a prepare_v for_o the_o worst_a november_n 9_o 1637._o how_o gracious_a and_o good_a o_o god_n be_v thou_o that_o will_v be_v find_v in_o trouble_n and_o become_v the_o relief_n of_o that_o calamitous_a soul_n which_o have_v neglect_v thou_o in_o the_o time_n of_o seem_a prosperity_n thy_o wonder_n appear_v in_o the_o deep_a and_o out_o of_o the_o deep_a thou_o be_v call_v upon_o the_o deep_a of_o distress_n the_o deep_a of_o melancholy_n discover_v the_o wonder_n of_o thy_o judgement_n of_o thy_o power_n and_o mercy_n even_o as_o the_o star_n and_o glory_n of_o the_o heaven_n be_v discern_v out_o of_o a_o deep_a well_o not_o otherwise_o appear_v lord_n with_o what_o a_o fullness_n do_v i_o labour_v to_o express_v thy_o glory_n and_o my_o comfort_n even_o in_o that_o temper_v i_o or_o i_o shall_v be_v confound_v ipsa_fw-la faelicitas_fw-la se_fw-la nisi_fw-la temperate_a premit_fw-la vouchsafe_v to_o demonstrate_v in_o i_o by_o my_o life_n and_o action_n what_o my_o pen_n can_v express_v what_o be_v say_v of_o fortune_n be_v true_a of_o god_n occaecat_fw-la hominum_fw-la animos_fw-la cum_fw-la vim_o svam_fw-la ingruentem_fw-la refringi_fw-la non_fw-la vult_fw-la according_a to_o god_n determinate_a counsel_n we_o discern_v or_o be_v blind_a we_o judge_v resolve_v and_o execute_v aright_o or_o lose_v and_o confound_v ourselves_o in_o error_n and_o folly_n thy_o decree_n o_o lord_n be_v irresistible_a november_n 11._o 1637._o have_v i_o be_v leave_v a_o freedom_n in_o myself_o or_o be_v constant_a to_o my_o own_o discourse_n and_o inclination_n in_o the_o order_n of_o my_o way_n it_o may_v have_v be_v worldly_a fortune_n enough_o unto_o
and_o felicity_n and_o nothing_o but_o the_o perfect_a joy_n of_o heaven_n can_v satisfy_v the_o perfection_n and_o summum_fw-la bonum_fw-la affect_v soul_n when_o we_o have_v say_v and_o do_v what_o we_o can_v we_o be_v in_o such_o a_o mist_n and_o confusion_n of_o thing_n so_o short_a sight_v through_o our_o false_a perspective_n that_o there_o be_v much_o chance_n in_o discern_v the_o truth_n and_o right_a way_n even_o of_o thing_n within_o our_o reach_n and_o capacity_n in_o despite_n of_o all_o our_o search_n and_o circumspection_n god_n be_v all_o in_o all_o without_o he_o see_v we_o shall_v not_o see_v and_o understanding_n we_o shall_v not_o understand_v who_o refer_v to_o nature_n and_o our_o natural_a universality_n of_o faculty_n and_o not_o to_o his_o extraordinary_a influence_n be_v blind_a to_o his_o grace_n and_o operation_n by_o he_o we_o live_v move_v and_o have_v our_o be_v and_o no_o thing_n or_o faculty_n work_n but_o through_o his_o grace_n and_o providence_n fantasy_n in_o we_o be_v like_o the_o sail_n of_o a_o ship_n without_o it_o we_o want_v much_o of_o ornament_n and_o motion_n with_o a_o predominancy_n of_o it_o we_o be_v in_o danger_n of_o over-setting_a without_o it_o many_o thing_n otherwise_o delightful_a be_v dull_a and_o insipid_a and_o if_o it_o be_v over_o pregnant_a it_o ordinary_o ruin_n and_o befool_v we_o it_o be_v our_o soul_n perspective_n multiply_v object_n at_o one_o end_n and_o lessen_v they_o at_o the_o other_o it_o be_v a_o better_a servant_n than_o master_n happy_a they_o who_o steer_v and_o ballast_n can_v rule_v and_o command_v it_o it_o be_v a_o horse_n that_o must_v be_v bear_v with_o a_o hard_a hand_n if_o it_o get_v head_n it_o transport_v we_o to_o much_o inconvenience_n and_o hardly_o contain_v itself_o within_o any_o limit_n of_o judgement_n and_o reason_n all_o thing_n take_v their_o tincture_n from_o it_o it_o be_v to_o be_v less_o than_o man_n to_o want_v it_o and_o more_o to_o bridle_v and_o over-rule_v it_o god_n alone_o can_v temper_v and_o moderate_v our_o inordinate_a fancy_n they_o and_o affection_n he_o alone_o be_v commensurable_a to_o our_o vast_a desire_n moderation_n have_v ever_o be_v a_o hard_a virtue_n the_o most_o conscientious_a spirit_n have_v ever_o be_v subject_n to_o superstition_n and_o idolatry_n strength_n of_o fantasy_n be_v apt_a to_o multiply_v itself_o beyond_o measure_n irreligious_a heart_n cut_v the_o gordian_a knot_n which_o they_o can_v untie_v to_o distinguish_v betwixt_o god_n and_o man_n must_v be_v from_o god_n and_o not_o from_o man_n man_n may_v endeavour_v and_o concur_v but_o god_n alone_o can_v clear_v and_o confirm_v my_o good_a god_n i_o will_v with_o thy_o good_a grace_n let_v my_o heart_n loose_v to_o no_o other_o object_n than_o thyself_o and_o what_o be_v please_v unto_o thou_o so_o shall_v i_o have_v fullness_n of_o joy_n nor_o shall_v i_o regret_n or_o envy_v the_o most_o splendid_a employment_n or_o fantastical_a delight_n where_o with_o this_o world_n siren-like_a enchant_v the_o mind_n of_o such_o as_o dote_v upon_o it_o smile_v thou_o upon_o i_o and_o let_v the_o world_n frown_n or_o scorn_n the_o world_n kiss_n be_v poison_n the_o embrace_n confusion_n they_o carry_v their_o sting_n with_o they_o but_o thy_o favour_n be_v present_a and_o eternal_a felicity_n if_o the_o very_a enjoy_n of_o our_o fancy_n and_o feed_v they_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o surfeit_n and_o oppression_n what_o be_v it_o to_o fail_v be_v cross_v and_o miscarry_v in_o they_o little_a sail_n and_o little_a fancy_n make_v the_o best_a and_o safe_a voyage_n to_o conclude_v these_o shred_n and_o ejaculation_n which_o may_v weary_v but_o never_o satisfy_v either_o myself_o or_o any_o other_o for_o there_o be_v evermore_o and_o better_a to_o be_v say_v our_o artificial_a infirm_a and_o perplex_a condition_n be_v to_o a_o curious_a strong_a mind_n a_o natural_a and_o strong_a distraction_n a_o large_a and_o various_a prospect_n work_v upon_o and_o divide_v the_o fancy_n and_o with_o a_o divulsion_n breed_v a_o kind_n of_o convulsion_n in_o the_o spirit_n and_o a_o solution_n of_o that_o sweet_a continuity_n and_o harmony_n which_o god_n have_v ordain_v natural_a unto_o we_o original_a and_o actual_a sin_n inhabit_v in_o we_o deserve_v that_o and_o much_o other_o punishment_n if_o god_n of_o his_o great_a grace_n and_o indulgence_n give_v we_o not_o a_o clew_n of_o his_o thread_n to_o guide_v we_o we_o be_v confound_v and_o lose_v in_o this_o world_n labyrinth_n he_o be_v we_o and_o the_o world_n prop_n and_o if_o it_o have_v not_o please_v he_o wonderful_o to_o assist_v and_o support_v i_o with_o extraordinary_a strength_n of_o resolution_n and_o his_o good_a spirit_n i_o have_v a_o thousand_o time_n perish_v in_o my_o error_n and_o confusion_n wild_a affection_n which_o lead_v grave_a reason_n by_o the_o nose_n have_v undo_v i_o a_o vertiginous_a spirit_n and_o my_o own_o weight_n and_o strength_n have_v oppress_v i_o and_o well_o may_v i_o miscarry_v see_v the_o strong_a spirit_n be_v in_o the_o multiformity_n of_o their_o discourse_n most_o obnoxious_a to_o find_v reason_n to_o fortify_v themselves_o in_o the_o gross_a obliquity_n to_o we_o in_o propriety_n be_v all_o sensuality_n vanity_n foolish_a presumption_n sophistication_n and_o corruption_n of_o truth_n with_o innumerable_a exorbitancy_n and_o folly_n but_o to_o god_n only_o good_a only_o wise_a just_a merciful_a and_o omnipotent_a be_v ascribe_v all_o honour_n and_o glory_n for_o evermore_o amen_o amen_n good_a god_n i_o be_o the_o work_n of_o thy_o hand_n and_o now_o happy_o of_o thy_o good_a spirit_n let_v thy_o mercy_n work_v with_o i_o and_o upon_o i_o to_o the_o end_n and_o eternity_n tot_o contra_fw-la unum_fw-la caput_fw-la conspirantibus_fw-la quis_fw-la potuissetresistere_fw-la nisi_fw-la dei_fw-la optimi_fw-la maximi_fw-la speciali_fw-la gratia_fw-la aspirante_fw-la there_o have_v need_n in_o truth_n be_v a_o extraordinary_a supply_n and_o support_v of_o reason_n and_o grace_n against_o the_o strange_a and_o strong_a fond_a impression_n of_o the_o melancholy_a humour_n november_n 25._o 1637._o it_o be_v say_v that_o if_o a_o horse_n can_v be_v equal_o place_v to_o provender_n on_o each_o side_n of_o he_o he_o will_v soon_o starve_v then_o resolve_v i_o be_v ambiguous_o constitute_v balance_v in_o disposition_n betwixt_o contemplation_n and_o action_n thrift_n and_o comeliness_n pleasure_n of_o the_o body_n and_o mind_n vice_n and_o virtue_n country_n town_n and_o court_n private_a or_o public_a course_n of_o life_n and_o no_o wonder_n if_o dubia_fw-la torquent_fw-la the_o world_n be_v a_o riddle_n a_o entangle_a skaine_n vexatious_a to_o extricate_v to_o intend_v our_o mind_n and_o affection_n much_o upon_o it_o be_v as_o well_o misery_n as_o vanity_n it_o pay_v we_o with_o a_o cloud_n in_o stead_n of_o juno_n torment_n in_o stead_n of_o contentment_n we_o often_o lose_v substance_n for_o shadow_n and_o felicity_n by_o over-searching_a it_o there_o be_v a_o proportion_n of_o wit_n most_o conducible_a to_o this_o world_n resolution_n and_o happiness_n if_o we_o exceed_v or_o come_v short_a of_o that_o element_n either_o the_o height_n and_o fineness_n of_o the_o air_n agree_v not_o with_o our_o lung_n and_o subsistence_n or_o we_o be_v dampt_v and_o suffocate_v in_o a_o over_o earthly_a and_o phlegmatic_a dulness_n as_o in_o square_a pave_v stone_n such_o only_o endure_v the_o earth_n and_o open_a weather_n as_o be_v neither_o overhard_a nor_o soft_a so_o be_v it_o in_o the_o temper_n of_o man_n spirit_n for_o the_o undergo_n of_o this_o world_n incident_n happy_a such_o as_o most_o slight_o pass_v through_o it_o yea_o god_n himself_o require_v that_o we_o esteem_v it_o as_o but_o a_o passage_n to_o eternity_n a_o point_n a_o nothing_o in_o respect_n he_o only_o can_v fill_v and_o satisfy_v the_o curious_a soul_n i_o can_v be_v sorry_a that_o the_o pleasure_n of_o this_o life_n concern_v i_o neither_o in_o use_n nor_o affection_n when_o i_o consider_v their_o sting_n their_o molestation_n and_o emptiness_n compare_v with_o the_o sweet_a comfort_n of_o god_n favour_n and_o the_o blessedness_n of_o everlasting_a life_n there_o like_o the_o upper_a region_n dwell_v all_o peace_n purity_n and_o glory_n here_o all_o corruption_n meteor_n of_o imperfect_a mixtion_n storm_n and_o calamity_n there_o be_v our_o true_a country_n and_o region_n where_o when_o god_n shall_v have_v refine_v we_o we_o shall_v live_v and_o shine_v more_o glorious_a than_o the_o star_n i_o have_v promiscuous_o specify_v the_o cause_n and_o original_n of_o my_o melancholy_a disease_n i_o be_v deep_o engage_v in_o it_o before_o i_o suspect_v it_o and_o have_v give_v so_o much_o way_n to_o it_o to_o take_v root_n in_o i_o as_o make_v the_o cure_n most_o difficult_a it_o be_v a_o goliath_n but_o we_o must_v not_o like_a david_n fight_v against_o it_o with_o our_o own_o arm_n
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upon_o it_o it_o be_v strange_a how_o a_o transient_a thought_n will_v work_v and_o give_v a_o sudden_a stroke_n to_o a_o remote_a and_o ill-affected_a weaken_a part_n of_o the_o body_n the_o mind_n work_v not_o alone_o by_o the_o heart_n and_o brain_n as_o be_v vulgar_o conceive_v but_o the_o praecordia_fw-la and_o all_o part_n more_o or_o less_o contribute_v and_o be_v affect_v therein_o and_o god_n have_v bless_v i_o with_o a_o mind_n so_o strong_a that_o it_o ever_o discharge_v itself_o in_o its_o passion_n and_o error_n more_o in_o my_o body_n then_o its_o own_o suffering_n but_o they_o be_v still_o hypocrates_n his_o twin_n and_o must_v weep_v or_o laugh_v together_o i_o have_v now_o disburden_v myself_o of_o all_o trouble_n but_o this_o of_o writing_n i_o be_o too_o inexhaustible_a therein_o weary_a i_o it_o do_v satisfy_v i_o it_o can_v i_o will_v change_v the_o scene_n and_o see_v i_o find_v myself_o so_o ill_a a_o companion_n i_o will_v seek_v better_a company_n i_o have_v ever_o be_v overhard_a to_o please_v in_o conversation_n my_o present_a affection_n and_o habit_n make_v i_o now_o more_o dainty_a what_o shall_v i_o do_v i_o have_v by_o god_n great_a grace_n recover_v in_o great_a part_n those_o jewel_n of_o peace_n and_o health_n which_o i_o have_v long_o lose_v therefore_o i_o will_v no_o long_o rake_v in_o this_o puddle_n nor_o abuse_v his_o grace_n in_o overbold_a and_o indiscreet_a presumption_n like_o the_o stranger_n belong_v to_o another_o country_n i_o will_v transitory_o please_v myself_o and_o converse_v with_o the_o common_a passion_n and_o interest_n of_o this_o world_n i_o will_v spend_v my_o time_n in_o search_n of_o goodness_n and_o will_v make_v much_o of_o it_o where_o i_o find_v it_o i_o will_v wash_v my_o hand_n in_o innocency_n my_o soul_n in_o my_o saviour_n blood_n and_o wrap_v myself_o in_o my_o own_o virtue_n and_o his_o merit_n rely_v on_o his_o neverfailing_a mercy_n amen_n amen_n march_n 1._o 1637._o though_o friend_n be_v absent_a conversation_n lose_v my_o bating_n soul_n oft_o labour_v in_o itself_o by_o wind_n and_o fortune_n on_o the_o black_a sea_n toss_v thou_o present_v lord_n i_o fear_v nor_o wave_n nor_o shelf_n thou_o father_n brother_n art_n and_o friend_n to_o i_o be_v the_o world_n who_o it_o list_v so_o thou_o be_v i_o they_o never_o miscarry_v who_o rely_v on_o thou_o grace_n storm_n dispell_n more_o strong_a than_o they_o combine_v all_o thrive_v where_o thou_o the_o prune_a gardener_n be_v to_o thy_o plant_n blast_n frugal_a blessing_n prove_v though_o summer_n height_n and_o flourish_a impart_v winter_n give_v strength_n and_o timber_n to_o the_o grove_n to_o thou_o all_o suffering_n end_v in_o joy_n and_o rest_n and_o the_o absence_n of_o a_o wicked_a world_n be_v best_a force_a delight_n and_o contentment_n be_v no_o delight_n or_o contentment_n dispose_v oh_o lord_n my_o affection_n and_o i_o be_o happy_a until_o i_o have_v digest_v the_o tough_a morsel_n and_o crudity_n of_o this_o world_n i_o can_v never_o have_v have_v peace_n and_o quiet_a jockey_n and_o his_o horse_n be_v by_o their_o master_n send_v to_o honour_v he_o in_o hunt_v run_z and_o race_n to_o put_v in_o for_o the_o bell_n and_o take_v content_a in_o honest_a sort_n fit_v fair_a time_n and_o place_n in_o pride_n of_o nature_n fit_a for_o any_o sport_n jolly_a and_o lusty_a both_o at_o first_o they_o be_v but_o short_o after_o both_o of_o they_o fall_v short_a what_o by_o mischance_n by_o ill-advise_a and_o care_n soon_o he_o become_v engage_v to_o a_o match_n which_o cost_v he_o dear_a both_o on_o the_o by_o and_o main_a he_o think_v himself_o no_o easy_a piece_n to_o catch_v but_o know_v not_o to_o resist_v so_o strong_a a_o train_n he_o now_o conject_v he_o can_v not_o hope_v to_o win_v except_o his_o horse_n be_v straight_o diet_v such_o course_n
extinguish_v our_o devour_a flame_n profession_n and_o pretence_n have_v be_v hitherto_o on_o all_o side_n not_o unfair_a o_o that_o they_o may_v be_v so_o contain_v and_o now_o you_o also_o on_o each_o side_n our_o soul_n and_o state_n physician_n look_v upon_o god_n his_o truth_n and_o public_a peace_n more_o than_o your_o passion_n self_n interest_n and_o policy_n streâ—ch_v not_o your_o string_n too_o high_a trust_v god_n with_o the_o blessing_n his_o own_o truth_n and_o oracle_n fear_v not_o the_o consequence_n of_o a_o true_o orthodox_n assertion_n may_v truth_n and_o peace_n be_v ever_o as_o well_o your_o object_n as_o pretence_n fair_a uniform_a harmonious_a reform_a discipline_n order_n and_o government_n your_o prudentiall_a and_o christian_a aim_n maintain_v our_o foundation_n as_o entire_a and_o unshaken_a as_o a_o orderly_a candid_a well_o intend_a edifice_n will_v admit_v else_o may_v you_o pervert_v and_o destroy_v what_o you_o be_v bind_v to_o assert_v and_o maintain_v nor_o will_v i_o pretermit_v you_o star_n of_o the_o great_a and_o lesser_a magnitude_n in_o the_o oxford_n firmament_n who_o ennobled_a blood_n birth_n &_o station_n constitute_v you_o patron_n and_o supporter_n of_o your_o country_n preservation_n and_o welfare_n who_o predecessor_n and_o progenitor_n be_v glorious_a in_o the_o register_n of_o time_n as_o happy_a advancer_n and_o dilater_n of_o the_o english_a possession_n name_n and_o honour_n suffer_v not_o now_o our_o annal_n to_o disgrace_v your_o name_n and_o memory_n as_o the_o impulsive_a active_a engine_n to_o our_o king_n and_o country_n lugubrious_a irreparable_a loss_n commiserate_v the_o sigh_n and_o groan_n of_o our_o gasp_a exspire_v deface_v nation_n search_v home_o into_o the_o disguise_a cause_n and_o author_n of_o you_o and_o our_o misery_n undeceive_v disabuse_v yourselves_o dispel_v the_o mist_n of_o your_o distemper_a bewilder_v spirit_n and_o lend_v at_o last_o a_o hand_n to_o save_v and_o rescue_v to_o 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conscience_n i_o have_v a_o long_a time_n conceive_v ordinary_a take_v oath_n especial_o when_o multiforme_a of_o great_a and_o evil_a consequence_n and_o little_a effect_n oath_n of_o course_n as_o i_o be_v wont_a to_o say_v be_v coarse_o observe_v they_o pass_v at_o length_n insensible_o they_o cauterise_n the_o vulgar_a they_o often_o ensnare_v when_o consider_v like_o over-iterated_n frequent_a physic_n they_o lose_v their_o operation_n as_o well_o the_o tender_a conscientious_a as_o the_o libertine_n impatient_a find_v themselves_o pen_v and_o constrain_v to_o disentangle_v they_o counterworke_n and_o perforate_v they_o like_z sampson_z they_o break_v their_o uneasy_a band_n and_o by_o a_o deprave_a consecution_n careless_o sleight_v they_o let_v out_o their_o soul_n to_o a_o subsequent_a dissolution_n and_o corruption_n war_n and_o custom_n turn_v blood_n and_o cruelty_n to_o nature_n necessity_n of_o impose_v and_o rigorous_a coercion_n render_v we_o incompassionate_a yet_o however_o he_o may_v appear_v the_o honest_a good_a chirurgeon_n be_v by_o the_o inconsiderate_a ignorant_a unjust_o censure_v of_o cruelty_n and_o hard-heartednesse_n by_o his_o incision_n and_o other_o necessary_a operation_n of_o art_n will_v to_o the_o better_a judgement_n stand_v justify_v as_o have_v act_v only_o towards_o cure_n preservation_n health_n and_o recovery_n may_v it_o please_v god_n to_o over-rule_v and_o rectify_v our_o heart_n bless_v we_o in_o maintain_v our_o fundamental_o of_o faith_n hope_n and_o charity_n and_o i_o in_o support_v myself_o by_o fair_a and_o necessary_a subterfuge_n and_o diversion_n i_o be_o no_o cabalist_n one_o of_o the_o open_a none_o of_o the_o close_a counsel_n i_o be_o neither_o wise_a nor_o good_a enough_o yet_o as_o the_o scripture_n mention_n of_o the_o over-wise_a and_o overjust_a be_o leave_v alone_o to_o my_o solitary_a unjunctoed_a self_n my_o fate_n not_o my_o affection_n or_o laziness_n may_v be_v the_o cause_n i_o confess_v some_o unsutablenesse_n may_v be_v in_o i_o by_o my_o default_n and_o curiosity_n make_v i_o in_o business_n more_o troublesome_a and_o less_o ductile_a and_o tractable_a then_o ordinary_a my_o mind_n be_v also_o too_o sofâ—_n and_o smooth_a for_o the_o questionablenesse_n anxiety_n obliquity_n hardness_n and_o roughness_n of_o the_o present_a i_o be_o natural_o active_a yet_o dainty_a and_o scrupulous_a of_o resolution_n and_o undertake_n what_o shall_v i_o do_v stir_a spirit_n must_v be_v foment_v if_o i_o find_v no_o hope_n of_o do_v good_a abroad_o if_o no_o evasion_n i_o will_v in_o all_o event_n endeavour_v to_o make_v use_n of_o my_o experience_n to_o subsist_v not_o injury_v myself_o within_o myself_o at_o home_n i_o have_v scarce_o to_o this_o day_n become_v instruct_v how_o to_o forbear_v to_o oppress_v how_o to_o favour_v be_v charitable_a to_o and_o honest_o indulge_v myself_o but_o be_o in_o a_o much_o clear_a light_n for_o my_o guide_n then_o former_o and_o even_o now_o which_o you_o see_v be_v hard_a for_o i_o to_o do_v to_o make_v use_n of_o it_o i_o most_o humble_o implore_v the_o grace_n and_o mercy_n of_o the_o omnipotent_a upon_o this_o disconsolate_a afflict_a deplorate_a world_n and_o i_o and_o end_n amen_n march_n 10._o 1644._o un_fw-fr peu_fw-fr de_fw-fr tout_fw-fr rien_fw-fr come_v il_fw-fr fault_n a_fw-fr la_fw-fr francoise_n chorus_n mankind_n cruel_a to_o thyself_o no_o beast_n of_o prey_n come_v near_o to_o thou_o thou_o need_v no_o other_o rock_n or_o shelf_n for_o shipwreck_n than_o thy_o cruelty_n wolf_n thou_o destroy_v more_o wolf_n than_o they_o they_o never_o prey_v upon_o their_o kind_n nor_o joy_n to_o kill_v and_o to_o betray_v where_o fair_a subsistence_n they_o may_v find_v wolf_n in_o sheep_n clothing_n be_v the_o worst_a poor_a sheep_n that_o with_o such_o shepherd_n meet_v our_o sin_n do_v make_v we_o thus_o accurse_v ensowr_v all_o that_o will_v be_v sweet_a no_o warning_n nor_o forbearance_n can_v on_o our_o obdurate_a soul_n prevail_v we_o still_o do_v all_o but_o what_o we_o shall_v our_o fatal_a suffering_n to_o entail_v be_v wise_a at_o last_o by_o your_o own_o cost_n exempt_a yourselves_o from_o common_a scorn_n else_o king_n and_o people_n all_o be_v lose_v all_o into_o blood_n and_o piece_n tear_v god_n and_o your_o neighbour_n take_v to_o heart_n god_n alone_o can_v help_v impart_v if_o you_o be_v a_o formalist_n one_o who_o do_v stupere_fw-la in_o titulis_fw-la imaginibusque_fw-la here_o be_v scarce_o so_o much_o as_o a_o tittle_n for_o you_o exercise_v your_o severity_n somewhere_o else_o this_o do_v neither_o invite_v nor_o defy_v you_o master_n of_o itself_o and_o its_o own_o entertainment_n it_o rather_o forbid_v you_o as_o a_o unwelcome_a guest_n non_fw-la omnibus_fw-la dormit_fw-la what_o most_o by_o chance_n and_o something_o by_o design_n as_o most_o thing_n go_v the_o most_o important_a piece_n carry_v their_o date_n you_o must_v according_o distinguish_v the_o time_n like_v i_o they_o be_v no_o temporizer_n neither_o affect_o precise_o follow_v nor_o over_o monsterlike_a