vnto me if I bee aloneâ— Elias himselfe fainteâ— vnder that appreheÌ„sionâ— Loe I am left alone anâ— Martha murmured at that and said to Christ Lord doest not thou care that my sister hath left me to serue alone Neither could Ieremiah enter into his LameÌ„tations from a higher grouÌ„d then to say How doth the citie sit solitary that was full of people O my God it is the Leper that thou hast coÌ„demned to liue alone Haue â— such a Leprosie in my Soule that I must die alone alone without thee Shall this come to such a Leâ—rosie in my body that I must die â—â—lone Alone withoâ—â— them that should assiâ—â— that shold comfort mâ—â— But comes not this Eâ—â—postulation too neere murmuring Must I bâ—â— coÌ„cluded with that thâ—â— Moses was commaunded 〈◊〉 come neere the Lord alonâ—â— That solitarines dâ—â—reliction and abandoâ—ning of others disposeâ— vs best for God who acâ—coÌ„panies vs most alonâ—â— May I not remember apply to that thoghâ— God come not to Iacob till he found him alone â—et when he found him alone hee wrestled with him and lamed him That when in the dereliction and forsaking of friends and Phisicians a man is left alone to God God may so wrestle with this Iacob with this Conscience as to put it out of ioynt so appeare to him as that he dares not looke vpon him face to face when as by way of reflection in the consolation of his temporall or spirituall seruants and ordinances hee durst 〈◊〉 they were there But â— faithfull friend is the phisicke of life and they thâ— feare the Lord shall find him Therefore hath thâ— Lord afforded me boâ—â— in one person that Phâ—â—sician who is my faithâ—full friend 5. PRAYER O Eternall and moâ—â— gracious God whâ—â— calledst down fire from Heauen vpon the sinfuâ—â— Cities but once and opâ—â—nedst the Earth to swallow the Murmurers but once â— and threwst down the Tower of Siloe vpon sinners but once but for thy workes of mercie repeatest them often still workest by thine owne paternes as thou broghtest Man into this world by giuing him a helper fit for him here â—o whether it bee thy will to continue mee â—ong thus or to dismisse me by death be pleased to afford me the helpes fit for both conditions either for my weak staâ— here or my finall tranâ—â—migration from henceâ— And if thou mayest râ—â—ceiue glory by that waâ—â— and by all wayes thoâ—â— maist receiue glory glâ—â—rifie thy selfe in preserâ—uing this body from sucâ— infections as mighâ— withhold those whâ— would come or in daâ—â—ger theÌ„ who doe comeâ— and preserue this soule 〈◊〉 the faculties thereof frâ—â— all such distempers 〈◊〉 might shake the assuâ—rance which my selfe others haue had that because thou hast loued me thou wouldst loue me to my end and at my end Open none of my dores not of my hart not of mine eares not of my house to any supplanter that would enter to vndermine me in my Religion to thee in the time of my weaknesse or to defame me magnifie himselfe with false rumors of such a victory surprisall of me after I am dead Be my saluation and plead my saluation work it and declaâ—â— it and as thy triumphaâ—â— shall be so let the Mâ—â—tant Church bee assureâ— that thou wast my 〈◊〉 and I thy seruant to anâ— in my consummatioâ— Blesse thou the learning and the labours of thâ—â— Man whoÌ„ thou sendeâ—â— to assist me and sincâ— thou takest mee by thâ— hand puttest me intâ— his hands for I come tâ— him in thy name who in thy name comes tâ— me since I clog not mâ— hopes in him no nor my â—â—ayers to thee with any â—â—mited conditions but â—wrap all in those two â—etitions Thy kingdome â—â—me thy will be done proâ—er him and relieue â—â—e in thy way in thy â—â—me and in thy meaâ—â—re Amen 6. Metuit The Phisician is afraid 6. MEDITATION â— Obserue the Phisician with the same â—iligence as hee the disâ—ase I see hee feares â—nd I feare with him I ouertake him I ouem him in his feare anâ— go the faster becauseâ— makes his pace slowâ— feare the more becaâ—â—â— he disguises his fear 〈◊〉 I see it with the moâ—â— sharpnesse because 〈◊〉 would not haue me 〈◊〉 it He knowes that 〈◊〉 feare shall not disordâ—â—â— the practise and exerciâ—â—â— of his Art but he knoâ—â— that my fear may disoâ—â—der the eâ—fect and woâ—â—king of his practise 〈◊〉 the ill affections of 〈◊〉 spleene complicate anâ— â—ingle themselus with â—â—ery infirmitie of the â—â—dy so doth feare insiâ—â—at it â—elf in euery actiâ—â— or passion of the mind â—nd as wind in the body â—ill counterfet any disâ—ase and seem the Stone â—eem the Gout so feare will counterfet any disâ—ase of the Mind It shall â—eeme loue a loue of hauing and it is but a fear a iealous and suspitious â—eare of loosing It shall â—eem valor in despising and vnderualuing danger and it is but feare in an ouer-valuing of â—â—â—â—nion and estimation and feare of loosing that man that is not afraidâ— a Lion is afraid of a 〈◊〉 not afraid of staruiâ—â— yet is afraid of soâ—â— ioynt of meat at the tabâ—â— presented to feed hiâ— not afraid of the soâ—â—â— of Drummes and Truâ—â—pets and Shot and thoâ—â— which they seeke 〈◊〉 drowne the last cries oâ— men and is afraid 〈◊〉 some particular harmâ—â—nious instrument â— so mucâ— afraid as that with anâ— of these the enemy might â—riue this maÌ„ otherwise â—aliant enough out of â—â—e field I know not what fear is nor I know â—ot what it is that I fear â—ow I feare not the hastening of my death and yet I do fear the increase â—f the disease I should â—elie Nature if I should deny that I feard this â—f I should say that I feaâ—ed death I should belye God My weaknesse is â—rom Nature who hath â—ut her Measure my â—trength is from God who possesses distriâ—butes infinitely As the euery cold ayre is noâ— dampe euery shiuering not a stupefaction so eueâ—ry feare is not a feareâ—â—â—nes euery declinationâ— not a running away â—â—uery debating is not resoluing euery wisâ— that it were not thus â— not a murmuring noâ— deiection though it bâ—â— thus but as my Phisiciâ—â— fear puts not him froâ— his practise neither doâ—â— mine put me from râ—â—ceiuing from God anâ— Man and my selfe spirituâ—ll and ciuill and morall â—ssistances and consoâ—ations 6. EXPOSTVLATION MY God my God I find in thy Booke that â—eare is a stifling spirit a spirit of suffocation That â—â—shbosheth could not speak not reply in his own defence â—o Abner because hee was â—fraid It was thy seruaÌ„t â—obs case too who before hee could say any â—hing to thee saies of thee Let him take his rod awaâ— froÌ„ me and let not his fearâ— terrifie mee then would speake with him and 〈◊〉 feare him but it is not â—â— with mee Shall a feare 〈◊〉 thee take away my dâ—â—uotioÌ„ to thee Dost
eyes to testifie my spiritual sicknes I stand in the way of tentations naturally necessarily all men doe so for there is a Snake in euery path tentations in euery vocation but I go I run I flie into the wayes of teÌ„tation which I might shun nay I breake into houses wher the plague is I presse into places of tentation and tempt the deuill himselfe and solicite importune them who had rather be left vnsolicited by me I fall sick of Sin and am bedded and bedrid buried and putrified in the practise of Sin and all this while haâ—e no presage no pulse no sense of my sicknesse O heighth O depth of misery where the first Symptome of the sicknes is Hell where I neuer fee the feuer of lust of enuy of ambition by any other light then the darknesse and horror of Hell it selfe â— where the first Messenger that speaks to me doth not sayâ— Thou mayst die no nor Thou must die but Thou art dead and where the first notice that my Soule hath of her sicknes is irrecouerablenes irremediablenes but O my God Iob did not charge thee foolishly in his temporall afflictions nor may I in my spirituall Thou hast imprinted a pulse in our Soule but we do not examine it a voice in our conscience but wee doe not hearken vnto it We talk it out we iest it out we drinke it out we sleepe it out and when wee wake we doe not say with Iacob Surely the Lord is in this place and I knew it not but though we might know it we do not we wil not But will God pretend to make a Watch and leaue out the springe to make so many various wheels in the faculties of the Soule and in the organs of the body and leaue out Grace that should moue them or wil God make a springe and not wind it vp Infuse his first grace not second it with more without which we can no more vse his first grace when we haue it then wee could dispose our selues by Nature to haue it But alas that is not our case we are all prodigall sonnes and not disinherited wee haue receiued our portion and mis-spent it not bin denied it We are Gods tenants heere and yet here he our Land-lord payes vs Rents not yearely nor quarterly but hourely and quarterly Euery minute he renewes his mercy but wee will not vnderstand least that we should be conuerted and he should heale vs. 1. PRAYER O Eternall and most gracious God who considered in thy selfe art a Circle first and last and altogether but considered in thy working vpon vs art a direct line and leadest vs from our beginning through all our wayes to our end enable me by thy grace to looke forward to mine end and to looke backward to to the coÌ„siderations of thy mercies afforded mee from the beginning that so by that practise of considering thy mercy in my beginning in this world when thou plaÌ„tedst me in the Christian Church and thy mercy in the beginning in the other world wheÌ„ thou writest me in the Booke of life in my Election I may come to a holy consideration of thy mercy in the beginning of all my actions hereâ— That in all the beginâ—nings in all the accesses and approches of spiriâ—tuall sicknesses of Sinn may heare and hearkeâ— to that voice O thou Maâ— of God there is death in thâ— pot and so refraine from that which I was so hungerly so greedily flying to A faithfull Amâ—bassador is health says thy wise seruant Solomon â— Thy voice receiued in the beginning of a sicknesse of a sinne is true health If I can see that light betimes and heare that voyce early Then shall my light breake forth as the morning and my health shall spriug foorth speedily Deliuer mee therefore O my God from these vaine imaginations that it is an ouercurious thing a dangerous thing to come to that tendernesse that rawnesse that scrupulousnesse to feare euery concupiscence euery offer of Sin that this suspicious iealous diligence will turne to an inordinate deiection of spirit and a diffidence in thy care prouidence buâ— keep me still establish'd both in a constant assurance that thou wilâ— speake to me at the beginning of euery such sicknes at the approach of euery such Sinne and that if I take knowledg of that voice then anâ— flye to thee thou wilâ— preserue mee from falling or raise me againe when by naturall infirmitieâ— I am fallen doâ— this O Lord for his sake who knowes our naturall infirmities for he had them and knowes the weight of our sinns for he paid a deare price for them thy Sonne our Sauiour Chr Iesus Amen 2. Actio Laesa The strength and the functioÌ„ of the Senses other faculties change and faile 2. MEDITATION THe Heauens are not the lesse constant because they moue continually because they moue continually one and the same way The Earth is not the more constant because it lyes stil continually because continually it changes and melts in al the parts thereof Man who is the noblest part of the Earth melts so away as if he were a statue not of Earth but of Snowe We see his owne Enuie melts him hee growes leane with that he will say anothers beautie melts him but he feeles that a Feuer doth not melt him like snow but powr him out like lead like yron like brasse melted in a furnace It doth not only melt him but Calcine him reduce him to Atomes and to ashes not to water but to lime And how quickly Sooner then thou canst receiue an answer sooner then thou canst conceiue the question Earth is the center of my body Heauen is the center of my Soule these two are the naturall place of these two but thoâ— goe not to these two iâ— an equall place My bâ—â—dy falls downe withouâ— pushing my Soule doâ—â— not go vp without puâ—ling Ascension is mâ— Soules pace measurâ— but precipitation my bâ—dies And euen Angellâ— whose home is Heaueâ— and who are wingeâ— too yet had a Ladder 〈◊〉 goe to Heauen by stepâ— The Sunne who goes 〈◊〉 many miles in a minuâ—â— The Starres of the Fiâ—â—mament which go so very many more goe not so fast as my body to the earth In the same instant that I feele the first attempt of the disease I feele the victory In the twinckling of an eye I can scarse see instantly the tast is insipid and fatuous instantly the appetite is dull and desirelesseâ— instantly the knees are sinking and strengthlesse and in an instant sleepe which is the picture the copy of death is taken away that the Originall Death it selfe may succeed and that so I might haue death to the life It was part of Adams punishment In the sweat of thy browes thou shalt eate thy bread â— it is multiplied to me I haue earned bread in the sweat of my browes in the labor of my calling and I haue itâ— and I sweat againe
it in the hands and rest of a Sabbath though thou haue beene pleased to glorifie thy selfe in a long exercise of my patience with an expectation of thy declaration of thy selfe in this my sicknesse yet since thou hast now of thy goodnesse afforded that which affords vs some hope if that bee still the way of thy glory proceed in that way and perfit that worke and establish me in a Sabbath and rest in thee by this thy seale of bodily restitution Thy Priests came vp to thee by steps in the Temple Thy Angels came downe to Iaacob by steps vpon the ladder we finde no staire by which thou thy selfe camest to Adam in Paradise nor to Sodome in thine anger for thou and thou oâ—ely art able to doe all at once But O Lord I am not wearie of thy pace nor wearie of mine owne patience I prouoke â—heâ— not with a praier not with a wish not with a â—ope to more haste than consists with thy purpose nor looke that any other thing should haue entred into thy purpose but thy glory To heare thy â—steps comming towards mee is the same comfort as to see thy face present with mee whether thou doe the worke of a thousand yeere in a day or extend the worke of a day to a thousand yeere as long as thou workest it is light and comfort Heauen it selfe is but an extention of the same ioy and an extention of this mercie to proceed at thy leisure in the way of restitution is a manifestation of heauen to me here vpon earth From that people to whom thou appearedst in signes and in Types the Iewes thou art departed because they trusted in them but from thy Church to whom thou hast appeared in thy selfe in thy Sonne thou wilt neuer depart because we cannot trust too much in him Though thou haue afforded me these signes of restitution yet if I confide in them and beginne to say all was but a Naâ—urall accident and nature begins to discharge her selfe and shâ—e will perfit the whole worke my hope shall vanish because it is not in thee If thou shouldest take thy hand vtterly from me and haue nothing to doe with me Nature alone were able to destroy mee but if thou withdraw thy helping hand alas how friuolous are the helps of Nature how impotent the assistances of Art As therefore the morning dew is a pawne of the euening fatnesse so O Lord let this daies comfort be the earnest of to morrowes so fâ—rre as may conforme me entirely to thee to what end and by what way soâ—uer thy mercie haue appointed mee 20. Idâ—agunt Vpon these Indications of digested matter they proceed to purge 10. MEDITATION THougâ— counsel seeme rather to consist of spirituall parts than action yet action is the spirit and the soule of counsell Counsels are not alwaies determined in Resolutions wee cannot alwaies say this was concluded actions are alwaies determined in effects wee can say this was done Then haue Lawes their reuerence and their maiestie when wee see the Iudge vpon the Bench executing them Then haue counsels of warre their impressions and their operations when we see the seale of an Armie set to them It was an ancient way of celebrating the memorie of such as deserued well of the State to afford them that kinde of statuarie representation which was then called Hermes which was the head and shoulders of a man standing vpon a Cube but those shoulders without armes and hands All together it figured a constant supporter of the state by his counsell But in this Hierogliphique which they made without hands they passe their consideration no farther but that the Counsellor should bee without hands so farre as not to reach out his hand to forraigne tentations of bribes in matters of Counsell and that it was not necessary that the head should employ his owne hand that the same men should serue in the execution which assisted in the Counsell but that there should not belong hands to euery head action to euery counsell was neuer intended so much as in figure and representation For as matrimonie is scarce to bee called matrimonie where there is a resolution against the fruits of matrimonie against the hauing of Children so counsels are not counsels but illusions where there is from the beginning no purpose to execute â—he determinaâ—ions of â—hose counsels The arts and sciences are most properly referred to the head that is their proper Element and Spheare But yet the art of prouing Logique and the Art of perswading Rhetorique are deduced to the hand and that expressed by a hand contracted into a sist and this by a hand enlarged and expanded and euermore the power of man and the power of God himselfe is expressed soâ— All things are in hiâ— hand â— neither is God so often presented â—o vs by names that carry our consideratioÌ„ vpon counsell as vpon execution of counsell he is oftner called the Lord of Hosts â—han by all other names that may be referred to the other significationâ— Herebyâ— therefore wee take into our meditation the slipperie condition of man whose happinesse in any kinde the defect of any one thing conducing to that happinesse may ruine but iâ— must haue all the peeces to make it vp Without counsell I had not got thus farreâ— withouâ— action and practise I should goe no farther towards health But what is â—he present necâ—ssary action purging A withdrawing a violating of Nature a farther weakening O deare price O strange way of addition to doe it by substraction of restoring Nature to violate Nature of prouiding strength by increasing weaknesse Was I not sicke before And is it a question of comfort to be asked now Did your Physicke make you sicke Was that it that my Physicke promised to make me sicke This is another step vpon which we may stand and see farther into the miserie of man the time the season of his Miserie It must bee done now O ouer-â—â—nning ouer-watchfull ouer-diligent and ouer-sociable misery of man that seldome comes alone but then when it may accompanie other miseries and so put one another into the higher exaltation and better â—eart I am ground euen to an attenuation and must proceed to euacuation all waies to exinaniâ—ion and annihilation 20. EXPOSTVLATION MY God my God the God of Order but yet not of Ambition who assignest place to euery one but not contention for place when shall it be thy pleasure to put an end to all these quarrels for spirituall precedences when shall men leaue their vncharitable disputations which is to take place faith or repentance and which when we consider faith and works The head and the hand too are required to a perfit naturall man Counsell and action too to a perfit ciuill man saith and works too to him that is perfiâ—ly spirituall But because it is easily said I beleeue and because it doth not easily lie in proofe nor is easily demonstrable by any euidence taken from my heart for
the wildernes thy Manâ—a bread so conditiond qualified so as that to euery man Manna tasted like that which that man liked best I humbly beseech thee to make this correction which I acknowledg to be part of my daily bread to tast so to me not as I would but as thou wouldest haue it taste and to conform my tast and make it agreeable to thy willâ— Thou wouldst haue thâ— corrections tast of humâ—â—liation but thou wouldest haue them tast â— consolation too taste oâ— danger but tast of assâ—â—rance too As therefore thou hast imprinted in all thine Elements of which our bodies consist two manifest qualities so that as thy fire dries so it heats too and as thy water moysts so it cooles too so O Lord in these corrections which are the elements of our regeneration by which our soules are made thine imprint thy two qualities those two operations that as they scourge vs they may scourge vs into the way to thee that when they haue shewed vs that we are nothing in our selues they may also shew vs that thou art all things vnto vs. When therfore in this particular circuÌ„stance O Lord but none of thy iudgements are circumstances they are all of the substance of thy good purpose vpon vsâ— wheÌ„ in this particular that he whoÌ„ thou hasâ— sent to assist me desires assistants to him thou hast let mee see in how few houres thou cansâ— throw me beyond the helpe of man let me by the same light see that no vehimence of sicknes no tentation of Satan no guiltines of sin no prison of death not this first this sicke bed not the other prison the close and dark graue can remooue me from the determined and good purpose which thoâ— sealed concerning mee Let me think no degree of this thy correction casuall or without signification but yet when I haue read it in that language as it is a correction let me translate it into another and read it as a mercy and which of these is the Originall and which is the Translation whether thy Mercy or thy Correction werâ— thy primary and original inteÌ„tion in this sicknes I cannot conclude though death concludâ— me for as it must necessarily appeare to bee â— correction so I can hauâ— no greater argument oâ— thy mercy then to die iâ— thee and by that death to bee vnited to him who died for me 8. Et Rex ipse suum mittit The King sends his owne Phisician 8. MEDITATION STil when we return to that Meditation that Man is a World we find new discoueries Let him be a world and him self will be the land and misery the sea His misery for misery is his his own of the happinesses euen of this world hâ—e is but tenant but of misery the free-holder of happines hee is but the farmer but the vsufructuary but of misery the Lord the proprietary his misery as the sea swells aboue all the hilles and reaches to the remotest parts of this earth Man who of himselfe is buâ— dust and coagulaâ—ed and kneaded into earth by teares his maâ—teâ— is â—arth his forme misery In this world that is Mankinde the highest ground the emineÌ„test hils are kings and haue they line and lead enough to fadome this sea and say My misery is but this deepe Scarce any misery equal to sicknesse and they are subiect to that equally with their lowest subiect A glasse is not the lesse brittle because a Kings face is represented in it nor a King the lesse brittle because God is represented in him They haue Phisicians continually about them therfore sicknesses or the worst of sicknesses continuall feare of it Are they gods He that calld them so cannot flatter They are Gods but sickâ— gods and God is presented to vs vnder many human affections as faâ— as infirmities God is called angry and sorry and weary and heauy buâ— neuer a sicke God for then hee might die like men as our gods do The worst that they could say in reproch scornâ— of the gods of the HeatheÌ„ was that perchance they were asleepe but Gods that are so sicke as that they cannot sleepe are in an infirmer condition A God and need a Phisician A Iupiter need an Aesulapius that must haue Rhâ—ubarbe to purge his Choller lest he be too angry and Agarick to purge his sâ—â—gme lest he be too drowsie that as Tertullian saies of the Aegyptian gods plants and herbes That God was beholden to Man for growing in his garden so wee must say of these godsâ— Their eternity an eternity of threescore ten yeares is in the Apothecaryes shop and not in the Metaphoricall Deity But their Deitye is betten expressed in their humility then in their â—eighth when abounding and ouerflowing as God in means of doing good they descend as God to a communication of their abundaÌ„ces with men according to their necessities then they are Gods No man is well that vnderstands not that values not his being well that hath not a cheerefulnesse and a ioy in it and whosoeuer hath this Ioy hath a desire to communicate to propagate that which occasions his happinesse and his Ioy to others for euery man loues witnesses of his happinesse and the best witnesses are experimentall witnesses they who haue tasted of that in themselues which makes vs happie It consummateâ— therefore it perfits the happinesse of Kings to confer to transfer honor and riches and as they can health vpon those that need them .8 EXPOSTVLATION MY God may God I haue a warning from the Wise man thaâ— when a rich man speaketh euery man holdeth his tongâ— and looke what hee saith they extoll it to the clouds but if a poore man speake they say what fellowe is this And if hee stumble they will help to ouerthrow him Therefore may my words be vnderualued and my errors aggrauated if I offer to speak of Kings but not by thee O my God because I speak of them as they are in thee of thee as thou art in them Certainly those men prepare a way of speaking negligently or irreuerently of thee that giue themselues that liberty in speaking of thy Vice-gerents Kings for thou who gauest Augustus the Empire gauest it to Nero to and as Vespasian had it from thee so had Iulian Though Kings deface in themselues thy first image in their owne soule thou giuest no man leaue to deface thy second Image imprinted indelibly in their power But thou knowest O God that if I should be slacke in celebrating thy mercies to mee exhibited by that royall Instrumentâ— my Souâ—raigne to many other faults that touch vpon Allegiance I should add the worst of all Ingratitude which constiâ—utes an il man faults which are defects in any particular sunction are not so great as those that destroy our humanitie â— It is not so ill to bee an ill subiect as to be an ill man â— for he hath an vniuersall illnesse ready to blowâ— and powre out it selfe into any
waters must we looke to bee drowned are they bottomlesse are they boundles That 's not the dialect of thy langauge thou hast giuen a Remedy against the deepest water by water against the inundation of sinne by Baptisme and the first life that thou gauest to any Creatures was in waters therefore â—hou doâ—â—t not â—hrâ—â—ten vâ— wiâ—h an irremâ—diablenesse when our affliction is a Sea It is so if we consider our selues so thou callest Gennezareth which was but a lake and not salt a Sea so thou callest the Mediterranean Sea still the great Sea because the inhabitants saw no other Sea they that dwelt there thought a Lake a Sea and the others thought a little Sea the greatest and wee that know not the afflictions of others call our owne the heauiest But O my God that is truly great that ouerflowes the chanâ—ell that is really a great affliction which is aboue my strength but thou O God art my strength and then what can bee aboue it Mountaines shake with the swelling of thy Sea secular Mountaines men strong in power spirituall mountaines men strong in grace are shaked with afflictions but thou laiest vp thy sea in store-houses euen thy corrections are of thy treasure and thou wilt not waste thy corrections when they haue done their seruice to humble thy patient thou wilt call them in againe for thou giuest the Sea thy decree that the waters should not passe thy Commandement All our waters shal run into Iordan thy seruants passed Iordan dry foot they shall run into the red Sea the Sea of thy Sons bloud the red Sea that red Sea drownes none of thine But they that saile in the Sea tell of the danger thereof I that am yet in this affliction owe thee the glory of speaking of it But as the wise man bids me I say I may speak much and come short wherefore in summe thou art all Since thou art so O my God and affliction is a Sea too deepe for vs what is our refuge thine Arke thy ship In all other Seas in all other afflictions those meanes which thou hast ordained In this Sea in Sicknesse thy Ship is thy Physitian Thou hast made a way in the Sea and a safe path in the waters shewing that thou canst saue from all dangers yea though a man went to Sea without art yet where I finde all that I finde this added Neuerthelesse thou woulâ—est not that the worke of thy wisdome should be idle Thou canst saue without meanes but thou hast told no man that thou wilt Thou hast told euery man that thou wilt not When the Centurion beleeued the Master of the ship more than Saint Paul they were all opened to a great danger this was a preferring of thy meanes before thee the Author of the meanes but my God though thou beest euery where I haue no promise of appearing to me but in thy ship Thy blessed Sonne preached out of a Ship The meanes is preaching he did that and the Ship was a type of the Church hee did it thereâ— Thou gauest S. Paul the liues of all them that saild with him If they had not beene in the Ship with him the gift had not extended to them As soone as thy Son was come out of the ship immediatly there met him out of the tombes a man with an vncleane spirit and no man could hold him no not with chaines Thy Sonne needed no vse of meanes yet there wee apprehend the danger to vs if we leaue the ship the meanes in this case the Physitian But as they are Ships to vs in those Seas so is there a Ship to them too in which they are to stay Giue mee leaue O my God to assist my selfe with such a construction of these words of thy seruant Paul to the Centurion when the Mariners would haue left the Ship Except these abide in the Ship you cannot bee safe Except they who are our ships the Physitians abide in that which is theirs and our ship the truth and the sincere and religious worship of thee and thy Gospell we cannot promise our selues so good safety for though we haue our ship the Physitian he hath not his ship Religion And meanes are not meanes but in their concatenation as they depend and are chained together The ships are great saies thy Apostle but a helme turnes them the men are learned but their religion turnes their labours to good And therefore it was a heauy â—â—â—se when the third part oâ— the ships perished It is a heauy case where either all Religion or true Religion should forsake many of these ships whom thou hast sent to conuey vs ouer these Seas But O my God my God since I haue my ship and they theirs I haue them and they haue thee why are we yet no neerer land As soone as thy Sonnes Disciple had taken him into the ship immediatly the ship was at the land whither they went Why haue nor they and I this dispatch Euery thing is immediatly done which is done when thou wouldst haue it done Thy purpose terminates euery action and what was done before that is vndone yet Shall that slacken my hope Thy Prophet from thee hath forbid it It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the saluation of the Lord. Thou puttest off many iudgements till the last day many passe this life without any and shall not I endure the putting off thy mercy for a day and yet O my God thou puttest me not to that for the assurance of future mercy â—s present mercy But what is my assurance now What is my seale It is but a cloud that which my Physitians call a cloud in that which giues them their Indication But a Cloud Thy great Seale to all the world the raine-bow that â—ecured the world for euer from drowning was but a reflexion vpon a cloud A cloud it selfe was a pillar which guided the church and the glory of God not only was but appeared in a cloud Let me returne O my God to the consideration of thy seruant Eliahs proceeding in a time of desperate drought he bids them look towards the Sea They looke and â—ee nothing He bids theÌ„ againe and againe seuen times and at the seuenth time they saw a little cloud rising out of the Sea and presently they had their desire of raine Seuen dayes O my God haue we looked for this cloud and now we haue it none of thy Indications are friuolous thou makest thy signes seales and thy Seales effects and thy effects consolation and restitution whersoeuer thou maiest receiue glory by that way 19. PRAYER O Eternall and most gracious God who though thou passedst ouer infinite millions of generations before thou camest to a Creation of this world yet when thou beganst didst neuer intermit that worke but continuedst day to day till thou hadst perfited all the worke and deposed
comfort which wee might haue in our first sicknesse from that meditation Alas how generally miserable is Man and how subiect to diseases for in that it is some degree of comfort that wee are but in the staâ—e common to all we fall I say to this discomfort and selfe accusing selfe condemning Alas how vnprouident and in that how vnthankfull to God and his instruments am I in making so ill vse of so great benefits in destroying so soone so long a worke in relapsing by my disorder to that from which they had deliuered mee and so my meditation is fearefully transferred from the body to the minde and from the consideration of the sicknesse to that sinne that sinfull carelesnesse by which I haue occasioned my relapse And amongst the many weights that aggrauate a relapse this also is one that a relapse proceeds with a more violent dispatch and more irremediably because it finds the Countrie weakned and depopulated before Vpon a sicknesse which as yet appeares not wee can scarce fix a feare because wee know not what to feare but as feare is the busiest and irksomest affection so is a relapse which is still ready to come into that which is but newly gone the nearest obiect the most immediate exercise of that affection of fearâ— 23. EXPOSTVLATION MY God my God my God thou mightie Father who hast beene my Physitian Thou glorious Sonne who hast beene my physicke Thou blessed Spirit who hast prepared and applied all to mee shall I alone bee able to ouerthrow the worke of all you and relapse into those spirituall sicknesses from which your infinite mercies haue withdrawne me Though thou O my God hâ—ue filled my measure with mercie yet my measure was not so large as that of thy whole people the Nation the numerous and glorious nation of Israel and yet how often how often did they fall into relapses And then where is my assurance how easily thou passedst ouer many other sinnes in them and how vehemently thou insistedst in those into which they so often relapsed Those were their murmurings against thee in thine Instruments and Ministers and their turnings vpon other gods and embracing the Idolatries of their neighbours O my God how slipperie a way to how irrecouerable a bottome is murmuring and how neere thy selfe hee comes that murmures at him who comes from thee The Magistrate is the garment in which thou apparellest thy selfe and hee that shoots at the cloathes cannot say hee meant no ill to the man Thy people were feareful examples of that for how often did their murmuring against thy Ministers end in a departing from thee when they would haue other officers they would haue other gods and still to daies murmuring was to morrowes Idolatrie As their murmuring induced Idolatrie and they relapsed often into both I haue found in my selfe O my God O my God thou hast found it in me and thy finding it hath shewed it to me such a transmigration of sinne as makes mee afraid of relapsing too The soule of sinne for wee haue made sinne immortall and it must haue a soule The soule of sinne is disobedience to thee and when one sinne hath beene dead in mee that soule hath passed into another sinne Our youth dies and the sinnes of our youth with it some sinnes die a violent death and some a naturall pouertie penurie imprisonment banishment kill some sinnes in vs and some die of age many waies wee become vnable to doe that sinne but still the soule liues and passes into another sinne and that that was licentiousnesse growes ambition and that comes to indeuotion and spirituall coldnesse wee haue three liues in our state of sinne and where the sinnes oâ— youth expire those of our middle yeeres enter and those of our age after them This transmigration of sinne found in my selfe makes me afraid O my God of a Relapse but the occasion of my feare is more pregnant â—han so for I haue had I haue multiplied Relapses already Why O my God is a relapse so odious to thee Not so much their murmuring and their Idolatry as their relapsing into those sinnes seemes to affect thee in thy disobedient people They limited the holy one of Israel as â—hou complainest of them That was a murmuring but before thou chargest them with the fault it selfe in the same place thou chargest them with the iterating the redoubling of â—hat fault before the fault was named How oft did they prouoke mee in the Wildernesse and grieue me in the Desart That which brings thee to that exasperation against them as to say that thou wouldest breake thine owne oath rather than leaue them vnpunished They shall not see the land which I sware vnto their fathers was because they had tempted thee ten times infinitely vpon that thou threatnest with that vehemencie if ye do in any wise goe backe know for a certainty God will no more driue out any of these Nations from before you but they shall be snares and traps vnto you and scourges in your sides and thornes in your eies till ye perish No tongue but thine owne O my GOD can expresse thine indignation against a Nation relapsing to Idolatry Idolatry in any Nation is deadly but when the disease is complicated with a relapse a knowledge and a profession of a former recouerie it is desperate And thine anger workes not onely where the euidence is pregnant and without exception so thou saiest when it is said That certaine men in a Citie haue withdrawne others to Idolatrie and that inquirie is made and it is found true the Citie and the inhabitants and the Cattell are to bee destroied but where there is but a suspicion a rumor of such a relapse to Idolatrie thine anger is awakened and thine indignation stirred In the gouernment of thy seruant Iosua there was a voice that Reuben and Gad with those of Manasseh had built a new altar Israel doth not send one to enquire but the whole congregation gathered to goe vp to warre against them and there went a Prince of euery Tribe And they obiect to them not so much their present declination to Idolatry as their Relapse is the iniquity of Peor too little for vs An idolatry formerly committed and punished with the slaughter of twenty foure thousand delinquents At last Reuben and Gad satisfie them that that Altar was not built for Idolatry but built as a patterne of theirs that they might thereby professe themselues to bee of the same profession that they were and so the Army returned without bloud Euen where it comes not so farre as to an actuall Relapse into Idolatry Thou O my GOD becommest sensible of it though thou who seest the heart all the way preuentest all dangerous effects where there was no ill meaning how euer there were occasion of suspicious rumours giuen to thine Israel of relapsing So odious to thee so aggrauating a weight vpon sinne is a relapse But O my