the_o life_n confession_n and_o hearty_a repentance_n of_o francis_n cartwright_n gentleman_n for_o his_o bloody_a sin_n in_o kill_v of_o one_o master_n storr_n master_n of_o art_n and_o minister_n of_o market_n rason_n in_o lincolnshire_n write_a with_o his_o own_o hand_n psal._n 51._o 14._o deliver_v i_o from_o bloud-guiltinesse_n o_o god_n thou_o that_o be_v the_o god_n of_o my_o health_n and_o my_o tongue_n shall_v sing_v of_o thy_o righteousness_n london_n print_v for_o nathaniel_n butter_n 1621._o francis_n cartwright_n publiqve_n repentance_n for_o his_o bloody_a sin_n three_o special_a motive_n beside_o the_o suggestion_n of_o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n in_o my_o own_o soul_n private_o have_v enforce_v i_o to_o this_o public_a declare_v myself_o first_o because_o my_o act_n have_v be_v commit_v before_o the_o face_n of_o heaven_n and_o in_o the_o eye_n of_o the_o world_n i_o can_v think_v but_o i_o be_o bind_v in_o conscience_n to_o give_v satisfaction_n to_o the_o offend_a 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thus_o by_o myself_o disect_v of_o which_o i_o will_v not_o leave_v one_o small_a vein_n or_o sinew_n undiscovered_a but_o from_o my_o first_o to_o this_o day_n true_o and_o ingenious_o without_o extenuate_a partiality_n lest_o so_o i_o shall_v seem_v to_o cherish_v not_o abandon_v my_o own_o corruption_n i_o will_v relate_v how_o miserable_a i_o have_v make_v myself_o in_o what_o i_o have_v be_v how_o much_o recollect_v and_o revive_v i_o be_o in_o what_o i_o now_o be_o and_o how_o happy_a i_o hope_v to_o be_v in_o what_o i_o resolve_v to_o persevere_v in_o till_o the_o consummation_n of_o my_o wretched_a life_n first_o my_o youth_n and_o morning_n of_o my_o day_n be_v cloud_v with_o a_o stubborn_a and_o headstrong_a disobedience_n to_o my_o parent_n the_o first_o and_o worst_a note_n of_o a_o desperate_a and_o obstinate_a sinner_n to_o who_o i_o so_o much_o forget_v my_o own_o duty_n that_o all_o their_o indulgence_n to_o i_o i_o value_v as_o their_o duty_n their_o counsel_n be_v disease_n to_o my_o course_n their_o monition_n be_v irksome_a to_o my_o ear_n because_o enemy_n of_o my_o riot_n and_o their_o gentle_a chastizement_n the_o contradictor_n of_o my_o lasciviousness_n so_o that_o even_o then_o before_o i_o know_v what_o it_o be_v to_o be_v i_o have_v make_v myself_o nothing_o and_o which_o be_v worse_a unsensible_a of_o any_o thing_n their_o care_n still_o follow_v i_o and_o still_o my_o stubborness_n flee_v from_o they_o to_o heap_v the_o hot_a coal_n upon_o my_o head_n little_o do_v i_o regard_v that_o which_o most_o behoove_v i_o to_o learn_v and_o practice_v the_o fear_n of_o the_o lord_n be_v the_o begin_n of_o wisdom_n 9_o but_o fool_n despise_v instruction_n my_o son_n hear_v the_o instruction_n of_o thy_o father_n and_o forsake_v not_o the_o law_n of_o thy_o mother_n for_o they_o shall_v be_v a_o ornament_n unto_o thy_o head_n and_o chain_n about_o thy_o neck_n upon_o this_o foundation_n of_o my_o disobedience_n the_o devil_n begin_v to_o build_v a_o mansion_n for_o himself_o to_o inhabit_v and_o so_o grow_v my_o soul_n a_o cage_n of_o unclean_a bird_n wherein_o many_o foul_a sin_n be_v breed_v and_o grow_v to_o such_o strength_n that_o i_o be_v master_v by_o they_o one_o impiety_n beget_v another_o yet_o still_o i_o think_v myself_o not_o sufficient_o flesh_v in_o wickedness_n till_o i_o deface_v the_o image_n of_o god_n first_o in_o my_o own_o soul_n by_o hatred_n and_o revengeful_a malice_n then_o in_o another_o body_n by_o homicide_n o_o frightful_a remembrance_n o_o the_o deep_a sting_n o_o the_o dismal_a sound_n of_o this_o cry_a sin_n wretched_a man_n that_o i_o be_o be_v it_o not_o heinous_a enough_o for_o i_o to_o kill_v a_o man_n but_o i_o must_v by_o my_o fury_n be_v put_v on_o such_o a_o one_o who_o coat_n and_o quality_n add_v many_o degree_n to_o the_o foulness_n of_o the_o murder_n a_o minister_n of_o god_n word_n my_o own_o pastor_n and_o watchman_n of_o my_o soul_n master_n william_n storr_n master_n in_o art_n who_o be_v a_o zealous_a detester_n of_o my_o lewd_a course_n and_o both_o in_o private_a and_o public_a use_v sharp_a reprehension_n to_o i_o and_o of_o i_o do_v thereby_o kindle_v in_o i_o a_o hatred_n not_o of_o my_o own_o lewdness_n but_o of_o his_o person_n i_o may_v perhaps_o by_o way_n of_o extenuation_n say_v that_o have_v he_o use_v great_a word_n and_o mild_a reprehension_n to_o i_o he_o may_v by_o god_n blessing_n have_v pluck_v i_o out_o of_o the_o snare_n of_o satan_n and_o so_o have_v prevent_v this_o shorten_n his_o own_o day_n by_o my_o hand_n i_o may_v say_v that_o my_o distemper_n be_v enrage_v by_o his_o unseasonable_a corrosive_n which_o may_v perhaps_o have_v be_v allay_v and_o cure_v by_o gentle_a balm_n but_o i_o utter_o disavow_v all_o abate_v any_o part_n of_o my_o crime_n i_o stand_v forth_o here_o to_o accuse_v to_o arraign_v and_o to_o condemn_v myself_o not_o to_o use_v defence_n or_o mitigation_n much_o less_o like_a to_o our_o first_o parent_n to_o put_v off_o my_o fault_n and_o lay_v it_o upon_o other_o nay_o i_o dare_v not_o so_o much_o as_o catch_v at_o figleave_n to_o cover_v my_o own_o shame_n i_o proclaim_v my_o worst_a deformity_n that_o other_o see_v they_o and_o hate_v they_o may_v now_o pity_v my_o person_n and_o comfort_v my_o soul_n be_v thus_o enrage_v against_o he_o and_o resolve_v to_o execute_v some_o notable_a revenge_n upon_o he_o i_o do_v not_o as_o the_o searcher_n of_o all_o heart_n witness_v with_o i_o intend_v more_o to_o he_o then_o some_o slight_a wound_n as_o the_o manner_n i_o take_v he_o in_o may_v in_o some_o sort_n witness_n the_o place_n be_v public_a in_o the_o sight_n of_o many_o myself_o unready_a and_o
and_o for_o the_o price_n and_o satisfaction_n make_v by_o this_o blood_n do_v i_o cry_v for_o mercy_n mercy_n and_o earnest_o desire_v grace_n to_o live_v hereafter_o a_o holy_a and_o righteous_a life_n i_o be_o a_o christian_n and_o a_o penitent_a sinner_n how_o can_v i_o despair_v or_o doubt_v of_o salvation_n know_v god_n infinite_a mercy_n and_o truth_n that_o he_o be_v not_o only_o a_o god_n of_o mercy_n ready_a to_o pardon_v but_o also_o a_o god_n of_o truth_n who_o will_v true_o fulfil_v his_o word_n and_o promise_n of_o pardon_n upon_o man_n true_a repentance_n as_o of_o justice_n in_o punish_v they_o who_o persist_v in_o sin_n commit_v why_o shall_v i_o be_v afraid_a to_o touch_v the_o hem_n of_o my_o saviour_n garment_n see_v his_o promise_n be_v make_v unto_o i_o his_o satisfaction_n for_o i_o and_o for_o such_o sinner_n as_o i_o be_o he_o do_v undergo_v all_o his_o suffering_n from_o the_o prick_n of_o the_o thorn_n to_o the_o wound_n with_o the_o spear_n from_o his_o first_o groan_n to_o his_o last_o act_n of_o passion_n his_o grave_n and_o burial_n to_o his_o resurrection_n and_o ascension_n into_o glory_n i_o think_v those_o bless_a word_n of_o the_o apostle_n be_v speak_v not_o only_o to_o i_o but_o of_o i_o jesus_n christ_n come_v into_o the_o world_n to_o save_v sinner_n of_o who_o i_o be_o the_o chief_a can_v i_o repent_v doubt_n can_v i_o be_v a_o christian_a be_v so_o base_a as_o to_o be_v ashamed_a to_o confess_v the_o faith_n of_o our_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n can_v i_o have_v more_o content_a or_o aim_v at_o more_o than_o to_o be_v a_o christian_a convert_v and_o a_o true_a penitent_n see_v there_o be_v no_o high_a honour_n in_o the_o world_n to_o be_v aim_v at_o no_o glory_n comparable_a to_o be_v a_o true_a christian_n can_v disgrace_n poverty_n calamity_n height_n or_o depth_n life_n or_o death_n sin_n or_o the_o devil_n daunt_v i_o they_o can_v they_o can_v for_o i_o find_v god_n a_o light_n to_o i_o in_o the_o midst_n of_o darkness_n and_o a_o refresh_a comfort_n in_o all_o calamity_n in_o so_o much_o that_o when_o i_o be_o in_o the_o deep_a despair_n for_o my_o sin_n in_o the_o great_a agony_n and_o horror_n of_o conscience_n and_o most_o bitter_a passion_n think_v with_o myself_o what_o a_o estate_n i_o once_o have_v and_o how_o poor_a i_o be_o now_o how_o i_o be_v value_v now_o despise_v how_o they_o who_o esteem_v i_o live_v in_o sin_n do_v now_o refuse_v i_o repent_v of_o my_o sin_n what_o great_a cause_n of_o discomfort_v it_o be_v to_o i_o that_o i_o can_v nor_o be_o able_a to_o have_v the_o breed_n or_o to_o enjoy_v the_o sight_n of_o my_o child_n be_v infant_n for_o who_o i_o will_v suffer_v death_n have_v no_o refuge_n but_o to_o be_v a_o soldier_n or_o serve_v yet_o still_o even_o when_o i_o be_o thus_o deject_a and_o cast_v down_o as_o low_a as_o sin_n misery_n and_o the_o devil_n can_v cast_v i_o down_o i_o do_v not_o let_v go_v my_o hold_n but_o do_v cleave_v to_o god_n and_o be_o uphold_v by_o he_o continual_o when_o it_o be_v manifest_a that_o none_o of_o these_o thing_n can_v tempt_v and_o allure_v i_o either_o to_o remove_v my_o religion_n which_o i_o profess_v or_o to_o forsake_v my_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n who_o i_o shall_v forsake_v and_o forgo_v if_o i_o shall_v resolve_v to_o live_v in_o theft_n piracie_n or_o any_o other_o sin_n that_o i_o have_v time_n to_o publish_v this_o i_o be_o full_o satisfy_v my_o soul_n be_v at_o rest_n i_o be_o less_o careful_a of_o my_o life_n a_o thousand_o time_n not_o desperate_o but_o humble_o yield_v myself_o to_o god_n if_o i_o starve_v perish_v die_v by_o the_o sword_n be_v take_v captive_a by_o the_o turk_n and_o live_v a_o most_o miserable_a slave_n all_o my_o day_n yea_o come_v woeful_a life_n or_o shameful_a death_n i_o will_v trust_v in_o god_n though_o he_o kill_v i_o and_o will_v never_o fly_v from_o he_o and_o here_o i_o profess_v and_o protest_v before_o god_n and_o the_o world_n that_o as_o i_o have_v dishonour_v god_n stain_a myself_o with_o blood_n in_o a_o most_o vile_a and_o abominable_a manner_n and_o defile_v the_o honour_n of_o religion_n to_o the_o great_a scandal_n and_o offence_n of_o many_o so_o i_o do_v now_o with_o all_o my_o heart_n desire_n if_o i_o may_v be_v think_v worthy_a and_o have_v a_o due_a call_n thereunto_o to_o stand_v with_o my_o sword_n in_o my_o hand_n and_o to_o expose_v myself_o to_o the_o great_a danger_n in_o the_o world_n in_o the_o most_o bloody_a battle_n fire_n or_o sword_n where_o god_n may_v show_v extraordinary_a mercy_n or_o judgement_n in_o the_o defence_n of_o the_o gospel_n and_o of_o true_a christian_a religion_n and_o as_o i_o have_v base_o slay_v a_o minister_n of_o god_n word_n so_o in_o defence_n of_o the_o man_n of_o god_n the_o faithful_a minister_n of_o his_o word_n in_o this_o church_n of_o england_n i_o may_v in_o any_o breach_n or_o danger_n interpose_v myself_o even_o between_o they_o and_o death_n and_o defy_v and_o withstand_v all_o their_o enemy_n or_o any_o other_o way_n yield_v myself_o to_o god_n judgement_n trial_n correction_n and_o direction_n in_o a_o vocation_n how_o low_a and_o mean_a soever_o and_o never_o turn_v capuchin_n or_o take_v upon_o i_o any_o popish_a and_o superstitious_a vow_n and_o profession_n of_o austerity_n which_o be_v a_o fit_a refuge_n for_o coward_n cain_n and_o judasses_n though_o my_o sin_n be_v innumerable_a and_o abominable_a which_o still_o hang_v fast_o on_o i_o and_o cleave_v as_o rust_v unto_o my_o corrupt_a nature_n yet_o i_o have_v the_o balm_n of_o gilead_n the_o blood_n of_o jesus_n christ_n the_o mercy_n of_o god_n and_o the_o divine_a power_n of_o heaven_n to_o countervail_v they_o all_o yea_o i_o have_v many_o mark_n and_o token_n of_o god_n grace_n give_v to_o i_o and_o of_o his_o mercy_n show_v towards_o i_o which_o do_v much_o refresh_v my_o soul_n as_o first_o that_o i_o ask_v and_o sue_v for_o mercy_n at_o no_o other_o power_n but_o at_o the_o hand_n of_o god_n for_o our_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n sake_n and_o so_o in_o the_o right_a way_n to_o the_o fountain_n of_o life_n second_o that_o i_o find_v great_a content_n and_o comfort_n in_o wrestle_v against_o flesh_n and_o blood_n and_o all_o my_o own_o corruption_n and_o in_o maintain_v to_o the_o devil_n face_n my_o religion_n faith_n hope_n repentance_n three_o that_o i_o hold_v my_o certain_a and_o resolute_a determination_n as_o a_o armour_n against_o his_o fiery_a dart_n and_o do_v still_o lay_v fast_o and_o sure_o hold_v on_o our_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n hope_v to_o persevere_v and_o hold_v out_o to_o the_o end_n four_o that_o i_o have_v peace_n of_o conscience_n more_o than_o the_o world_n be_v worth_a which_o if_o i_o never_o have_v taste_v nor_o know_v but_o be_v as_o a_o heathen_a or_o turk_n i_o shall_v with_o the_o world_n hold_v that_o for_o blood_n vengeance_n must_v haunt_v without_o redemption_n and_o so_o be_v fright_v with_o fury_n unknown_a and_o endless_a grow_v desperate_a and_o like_o varney_n and_o dansekar_n die_v with_o bloody_a content_n in_o revenge_n or_o prosecute_v till_o death_n piracie_n or_o theft_n to_o mitigate_v my_o endless_a torment_a misery_n and_o to_o leave_v my_o child_n a_o estate_n though_o never_o so_o unjust_o get_v five_o that_o i_o can_v be_v bring_v to_o deny_v christ_n or_o to_o doubt_v that_o there_o be_v a_o christ_n nor_o be_v pull_v from_o believe_v in_o christ_n and_o hope_v to_o be_v save_v through_o he_o by_o the_o devil_n nor_o all_o my_o sin_n if_o i_o have_v all_o the_o sin_n in_o the_o world_n upon_o i_o six_o that_o i_o be_o deliver_v from_o the_o danger_n and_o infection_n of_o the_o romish_a religion_n for_o if_o i_o be_v of_o that_o religion_n i_o will_v attempt_v any_o sinful_a course_n as_o theft_n or_o piracie_n to_o relieve_v my_o want_n in_o hope_n of_o pardon_n penance_n or_o purgatory_n for_o no_o punishment_n shall_v terrify_v i_o let_v it_o be_v whatsoever_o it_o can_v be_v even_o purgatory_n itself_o so_o it_o may_v have_v end_n i_o will_v willing_o endure_v it_o if_o so_o be_v it_o may_v procure_v i_o pardon_v and_o under_o that_o condition_n grant_v i_o liberty_n to_o sin_n i_o shall_v with_o they_o of_o that_o religion_n hold_v that_o justice_n must_v be_v satisfy_v necessary_o upon_o sinner_n in_o this_o world_n and_o that_o by_o our_o own_o bodily_a suffering_n sin_n must_v be_v expiate_v and_o there_o be_v no_o avoid_v it_o and_o so_o i_o will_v seek_v by_o voluntary_a earthly_a punishment_n in_o this_o life_n to_o satisfy_v justice_n by_o turn_v pilgrim_n or_o capuchin_n yea_o i_o be_o assure_v that_o our_o lord_n jesus_n have_v satisfy_v for_o all_o punishment_n of_o vengeance_n both_o temporal_a and_o eternal_a though_o i_o have_v endure_v or_o shall_v hereafter_o undergo_v all_o misery_n and_o calamity_n and_o even_o a_o most_o bitter_a and_o painful_a death_n yet_o i_o do_v not_o account_v they_o any_o satisfaction_n or_o expiation_n my_o blood_n can_v satisfy_v for_o blood_n i_o may_v if_o god_n shall_v so_o dispose_v have_v a_o bloody_a end_n as_o a_o just_a reward_n of_o my_o sin_n i_o can_v deny_v it_o but_o what_o can_v satisfy_v to_o justify_v surely_n none_o of_o i_o own_o miserable_a calamity_n can_v make_v any_o part_n of_o satisfaction_n that_o be_v a_o thing_n which_o i_o utter_o disclaim_v only_o the_o blood_n and_o satisfaction_n of_o jesus_n christ_n be_v that_o on_o which_o i_o do_v lie_v hold_v and_o rely_v by_o faith_n for_o justification_n yet_o because_o not_o only_o the_o majesty_n of_o god_n have_v be_v deep_o offend_v by_o my_o heinous_a transgression_n but_o also_o his_o church_n great_o scandalize_v and_o the_o mind_n of_o my_o grave_a father_n and_o dear_a brethren_n in_o christ_n no_o less_o deep_o wound_v in_o their_o compassion_n for_o he_o that_o die_v by_o my_o hand_n than_o himself_o be_v in_o his_o passion_n and_o bodily_a dissolution_n who_o many_o wound_n bleed_v a_o fresh_a in_o my_o eye_n and_o memory_n i_o profess_v myself_o ready_a and_o willing_a to_o endure_v whatsoever_o other_o humiliation_n this_o bless_a church_n have_v or_o shall_v impose_v upon_o i_o for_o the_o further_a assurance_n of_o my_o satisfaction_n to_o she_o which_o may_v in_o some_o sort_n suit_n with_o the_o depth_n of_o my_o offence_n against_o she_o and_o her_o child_n very_o as_o i_o abhor_v popish_a satisfaction_n derogate_a from_o the_o merit_n of_o christ_n blood_n so_o i_o with_o other_o more_o learned_a than_o myself_o wish_v that_o the_o ancient_a discipline_n of_o the_o primitive_a sincere_a church_n be_v more_o thorough_o reviue_v in_o every_o scandalous_a crime_n by_o public_a confession_n submission_n and_o satisfaction_n to_o the_o christian_a congregation_n wherein_o myself_o desire_v as_o much_o to_o go_v beyond_o other_o in_o my_o humiliation_n as_o i_o have_v exceed_v all_o in_o my_o presumptuous_a transgression_n with_o offensive_a but_o penitent_a ecebolius_n in_o the_o ecclesiastical_a history_n i_o say_v of_o myself_o cast_v i_o out_o tread_v upon_o i_o for_o unsavourie_a salt_n finis_fw-la prou._n 1._o 7_o 8_o 9_o psal_n 139._o 7_o â—_o isaiah_n 1_o 1â—_n mat._n 25._o
of_o amity_n betwixt_o our_o nation_n and_o their_o town_n this_o i_o apply_v to_o my_o soul_n and_o confess_v the_o wonderful_a work_n of_o god_n part_v thus_o from_o the_o turk_n all_o the_o rest_n of_o our_o time_n at_o sea_n till_o we_o make_v land_n be_v for_o the_o most_o part_n fright_v with_o all_o the_o hideous_a fear_n that_o salt_n region_n be_v full_a of_o so_o that_o i_o suspect_v myself_o still_o and_o apply_v all_o to_o my_o own_o heart_n as_o well_o the_o danger_n as_o deliverance_n assure_v myself_o that_o such_o judgement_n can_v follownone_o but_o i_o and_o such_o redemption_n none_o but_o such_o the_o lord_n have_v reserve_v for_o some_o good_a worke._n at_o deal_n i_o land_v and_o in_o my_o way_n to_o chatham_n as_o i_o be_v hasty_o come_v out_o of_o the_o hire_a coach_n which_o i_o come_v in_o my_o sword_n sudden_o fall_v out_o with_o the_o point_n up_o nor_o can_v i_o stop_v myself_o but_o violent_o with_o all_o my_o weight_n i_o fall_v upon_o it_o yet_o the_o lord_n turn_v the_o harm_n from_o i_o and_o betwixt_o my_o arm_n and_o body_n it_o slide_v of_o which_o escape_n then_o and_o now_o i_o make_v this_o use_n that_o though_o i_o have_v escape_v the_o threaten_n of_o the_o sea_n the_o fury_n of_o the_o turk_n myself_o have_v that_o about_o i_o the_o lord_n can_v destroy_v i_o with_o in_o my_o great_a security_n which_o have_v i_o perish_v in_o will_v have_v prove_v the_o fearful_a of_o all_o that_o ever_o threaten_a that_o i_o by_o who_o unhappy_a sword_n two_o before_o have_v fall_v shall_v now_o after_o the_o law_n be_v appease_v and_o all_o my_o recite_v danger_n escape_v be_v expose_v to_o a_o exemplary_a and_o wretched_a end_n upon_o my_o own_o weapon_n for_o in_o the_o unlikely_a mean_n more_o horror_n still_o aggravate_v the_o judgement_n francis_n francis_n cartwright_n resolution_n and_o religion_n thus_o my_o life_n have_v be_v a_o heavy_a burden_n to_o i_o continual_o press_v i_o down_o and_o although_o in_o my_o youth_n i_o be_v true_o teach_v the_o true_a and_o sound_a religion_n how_o to_o fear_v honour_n and_o serve_v god_n in_o so_o much_o that_o i_o dare_v not_o presume_v to_o run_v wilful_o into_o sin_n or_o to_o live_v and_o continue_v in_o sin_n without_o repentance_n yet_o so_o far_o at_o length_n the_o subtlety_n of_o satan_n the_o allurement_n and_o pleasure_n of_o the_o world_n my_o own_o natural_a frailty_n and_o my_o want_n of_o temperance_n and_o judgement_n prevail_v and_o overmastered_n i_o that_o i_o presume_v of_o the_o name_n of_o faith_n and_o of_o god_n mercy_n towards_o i_o and_o glory_v in_o my_o own_o estate_n and_o condition_n while_o i_o compare_v myself_o with_o some_o other_o who_o i_o perceive_v so_o much_o to_o neglect_v god_n as_o that_o they_o only_o use_v policy_n and_o make_v religion_n only_o a_o cloak_n and_o i_o blind_a and_o miserable_a wretch_n so_o presumptuous_o thrust_v myself_o on_o god_n mercy_n without_o regard_n to_o god_n law_n so_o from_o hence_o have_v proceed_v all_o other_o evil_n and_o mischief_n which_o have_v befall_v i_o hence_o it_o be_v that_o i_o have_v so_o fearful_o fall_v and_o so_o grievous_o and_o heinous_o sin_v against_o god_n commit_v these_o outrageous_a sin_n which_o i_o will_v not_o have_v commit_v for_o the_o save_n of_o my_o life_n and_o for_o the_o expiate_a and_o ransome_v of_o which_o after_o that_o i_o have_v act_v and_o commit_v they_o i_o will_v willing_o have_v give_v my_o life_n if_o it_o can_v have_v be_v accept_v for_o a_o satisfaction_n and_o god_n for_o these_o my_o sin_n give_v i_o over_o i_o waste_v my_o estate_n by_o suit_n not_o abate_v my_o expense_n as_o my_o estate_n waste_v whereby_o i_o see_v plain_o that_o god_n heavy_a and_o dreadful_a hand_n have_v haunt_v and_o pursue_v i_o not_o only_o for_o my_o cruel_a and_o bloody_a sin_n commit_v upon_o master_n storr_n but_o also_o for_o my_o other_o sin_n and_o transgression_n which_o i_o have_v commit_v sometime_o presume_v too_o much_o and_o sometime_o despair_a of_o god_n mercy_n so_o that_o now_o be_v as_o it_o be_v bring_v to_o the_o stake_n and_o as_o a_o miserable_a distress_a man_n put_v upon_o the_o rack_n i_o be_o inward_o force_v to_o make_v confession_n of_o my_o sin_n open_a profession_n of_o my_o desire_n purpose_n and_o resolution_n and_o give_v account_n of_o my_o religion_n before_o almighty_a god_n and_o the_o world_n i_o do_v see_v and_o observe_v god_n fearful_a judgement_n upon_o all_o notorious_a sinner_n from_o adam_n until_o this_o present_a age_n not_o only_o testify_v and_o record_v in_o the_o holy_a scripture_n and_o in_o profane_a history_n as_o for_o example_n upon_o cain_n saul_n achitophel_n judas_n herod_n and_o cruel_a nero_n and_o such_o like_a but_o even_o also_o daily_o execute_v before_o our_o eye_n as_o upon_o varney_n dansecar_n percy_n catesby_n wright_n and_o all_o such_o murderer_n traitor_n pirate_n thief_n and_o unjust_a person_n sir_n francis_n varney_n a_o englishman_n bear_v and_o live_v here_o in_o sensuality_n until_o he_o have_v spend_v his_o estate_n go_v to_o sea_n and_o become_v pirate_n and_o fall_v in_o at_o argear_n and_o there_o for_o some_o small_a time_n remain_v he_o fall_v in_o love_n with_o a_o whore_n or_o prostitute_n but_o she_o be_v subtle_a will_v not_o incline_v to_o he_o without_o marriage_n nor_o marry_v unless_o he_o will_v forsake_v his_o profession_n of_o christ_n and_o turn_n turk_n he_o enrage_v with_o lust_n after_o this_o whore_n become_v turk_n and_o present_o marry_v she_o which_o he_o no_o soon_o have_v do_v but_o a_o dog_n which_o dog_n before_o wait_v on_o he_o and_o love_v he_o assault_v and_o fall_v upon_o he_o sudden_o most_o lion_n or_o tygre-like_a as_o though_o he_o will_v instant_o have_v devour_v he_o but_o be_v rescue_v yet_o the_o dog_n in_o that_o rage_n tear_v the_o calf_n of_o his_o leg_n and_o yet_o a_o further_a judgement_n fall_v upon_o this_o varney_n for_o albeit_o the_o turk_n for_o some_o small_a time_n give_v he_o command_v and_o office_n in_o the_o end_n they_o cashier_v he_o and_o be_v take_v by_o the_o spaniard_n judge_v he_o to_o the_o galley_n where_o he_o wrought_v as_o a_o slave_n until_o he_o die_v most_o miserable_o danseker_fw-mi a_o dutchman_n be_v a_o pirate_n at_o argear_n though_o he_o turn_v not_o turk_n yet_o he_o be_v as_o it_o be_v report_v murder_v by_o they_o of_o argear_n private_o a_o heathenish_a pagan_n infidel_n or_o atheist_n i_o be_o not_o neither_o be_o i_o of_o the_o romish_a religion_n though_o i_o confess_v there_o be_v many_o carnal_a reason_n which_o do_v persuade_v i_o to_o embrace_v and_o put_v in_o practice_n some_o of_o their_o opinion_n and_o doctrine_n as_o pray_v to_o saint_n because_o i_o hold_v myself_o unworthy_a to_o pray_v to_o god_n almighty_a purgatory_n that_o i_o may_v have_v a_o end_n of_o torment_n and_o not_o remain_v under_o eternal_a wrath_n and_o vengeance_n in_o hell_n merit_n or_o satisfaction_n by_o fryerly_n austerity_n for_o such_o as_o i_o who_o conscience_n be_v burden_a be_v hold_v fit_a to_o be_v new_o mould_v and_o tutor_v in_o their_o monastery_n and_o set_v upon_o strange_a and_o hideous_a exploit_n for_o redemption_n of_o themselves_o and_o good_a of_o that_o church_n beside_o i_o have_v have_v many_o favour_n &_o courtesy_n from_o some_o noble_a and_o zealous_a person_n of_o that_o religion_n the_o loss_n of_o which_o i_o do_v willing_o sustain_v for_o this_o my_o open_a profession_n yea_o be_v by_o god_n heavy_a judgement_n plunge_v into_o the_o depth_n of_o extremity_n i_o have_v be_v behold_v to_o some_o of_o the_o learned_a among_o they_o and_o can_v now_o if_o my_o conscience_n will_v suffer_v i_o be_v entertain_v among_o they_o either_o into_o their_o cloister_n or_o for_o the_o war_n and_o be_v esteem_v and_o sufficient_o relieve_v with_o necessary_n whereas_o i_o be_o now_o neglect_v by_o my_o own_o nation_n who_o all_o seem_v to_o verify_v in_o i_o that_o say_n of_o david_n god_n have_v forsake_v he_o pursue_v and_o take_v he_o and_o though_o all_o this_o be_v come_v upon_o i_o yet_o i_o profess_v i_o do_v not_o incline_v to_o believe_v the_o romish_a doctrine_n of_o the_o mass_n transubstantiation_n merit_n justification_n by_o work_n and_o such_o like_a i_o acknowledge_v that_o all_o the_o glory_n of_o our_o salvation_n be_v due_a to_o god_n who_o work_v all_o in_o all_o and_o to_o our_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n we_o owe_v all_o the_o thanks_n who_o by_o his_o own_o suffering_n and_o with_o his_o most_o precious_a blood_n have_v satisfy_v the_o law_n pacify_v god_n wrath_n pay_v our_o debt_n and_o ransom_n and_o cancel_v the_o bond_n and_o if_o they_o of_o my_o own_o religion_n here_o in_o this_o
unprovided_a for_o my_o own_o safety_n by_o flight_n which_o i_o shall_v have_v order_v my_o coursefor_o have_v my_o intent_n be_v murderous_a but_o here_o it_o please_v god_n in_o his_o just_a judgement_n for_o my_o hardness_n of_o heart_n and_o contempt_n of_o his_o word_n and_o commandment_n to_o give_v over_o my_o hand_n to_o wound_v deep_a than_o my_o heart_n intend_v woe_n be_v i_o my_o heart_n bleed_v to_o think_v how_o deep_a my_o sword_n pierce_v the_o enemy_n of_o mankind_n be_v a_o murderer_n from_o the_o beginning_n he_o get_v such_o dominion_n over_o i_o that_o he_o make_v my_o sword_n and_o hand_n his_o servant_n and_o so_o make_v i_o like_a unto_o himself_o a_o bloody_a manslayer_n so_o must_v i_o needs_o acknowledge_v myself_o because_o my_o heart_n though_o not_o before_o so_o intend_v yet_o as_o principal_a be_v guilty_a of_o that_o which_o my_o hand_n do_v in_o the_o heat_n of_o fury_n true_a it_o be_v and_o alas_o woe_n be_v i_o for_o it_o i_o give_v he_o diverse_a wound_n whereof_o within_o eight_o day_n he_o die_v yield_v up_o that_o soul_n which_o just_o crave_v for_o vengeance_n upon_o i_o for_o dissever_a it_o from_o the_o body_n this_o do_v i_o retire_v and_o save_v myself_o by_o flight_n withal_o conveniency_n i_o can_v &_o with_o a_o resolution_n to_o recover_v scotland_n after_o many_o dangerous_a escape_n i_o attain_a to_o berwick_n where_o i_o be_v for_o the_o fact_n apprehend_v and_o from_o thence_o though_o it_o be_v a_o garrison_n observe_v with_o all_o strictness_n i_o make_v a_o strange_a escape_n and_o thence_o over-land_n i_o go_v towards_o plymouth_n in_o which_o passage_n though_o i_o avoid_v all_o the_o way-layings_a to_o prevent_v i_o at_o warwick_n i_o be_v question_v in_o susspition_n of_o a_o robbery_n but_o for_o that_o my_o innocence_n can_v not_o be_v fright_v though_o still_o the_o guilt_n of_o the_o other_o fact_n pursue_v i_o but_o neither_o so_o retire_v or_o safe_a be_v i_o that_o my_o be_v free_v from_o the_o hand_n of_o justice_n can_v either_o free_v my_o body_n from_o god_n judgement_n or_o my_o mind_n from_o fear_v it_o carrying_z ever_o with_o i_o a_o distress_a conscience_n that_o like_o a_o troubed_a sea_n toss_v i_o to_o and_o fro_o yet_o never_o so_o leave_v by_o god_n mercy_n that_o i_o have_v not_o ever_o a_o true_a and_o sensible_a feel_n of_o what_o i_o have_v do_v though_o my_o distraction_n direct_v i_o not_o a_o course_n which_o way_n to_o redeem_v myself_o the_o horror_n of_o my_o fact_n and_o despair_n fight_v against_o i_o on_o the_o one_o side_n my_o view_n and_o consider_v of_o god_n mercy_n oppose_v that_o on_o the_o other_o till_o thus_o in_o the_o follow_a danger_n and_o calamity_n of_o my_o life_n which_o after_o i_o shall_v show_v god_n have_v by_o threaten_v i_o with_o unheard_a danger_n always_o follow_v i_o and_o yet_o never_o hurt_a as_o if_o his_o providence_n will_v not_o leave_v one_o hour_n of_o i_o to_o such_o security_n as_o may_v make_v i_o presume_v that_o he_o have_v forget_v to_o punish_v i_o long_o than_o i_o remember_v to_o be_v mindful_a of_o my_o sin_n and_o renew_v my_o repentance_n for_o they_o myself_o with_o my_o load_n of_o sin_n and_o guiltiness_n be_v thus_o then_o from_o dartmouth_n ship_v in_o a_o vessel_n bind_v for_o saint_n maloâ—s_v in_o france_n almighty_a god_n know_v the_o corruption_n of_o my_o nature_n lest_o i_o shall_v forget_v his_o power_n and_o myself_o in_o this_o seem_a safety_n of_o i_o command_v the_o wind_n and_o sea_n to_o war_n against_o our_o poor_a bark_n which_o provoke_v a_o more_o fearful_a tempest_n within_o i_o than_o can_v be_v threaten_v without_o though_o we_o spend_v our_o main_n mast_n by_o the_o board_n for_o than_o i_o begin_v to_o remember_v that_o excellent_a say_n of_o the_o psalmist_n whither_o shall_v i_o go_v from_o thy_o spirit_n â—_o or_o whither_o shall_v i_o fly_v from_o thy_o presence_n let_v i_o take_v the_o wing_n of_o the_o morning_n and_o dwell_v in_o the_o uttermost_a part_n of_o the_o sea_n yet_o thither_o shall_v thy_o hand_n lead_v i_o and_o thy_o right_a hand_n hold_v i_o etc._n etc._n then_o much_o more_o than_o before_o my_o conscience_n wake_v my_o sleep_a soul_n and_o the_o wound_n i_o have_v make_v be_v bleed_v before_o i_o in_o this_o danger_n god_n vouchsafe_v we_o his_o mercy_n and_o set_v we_o safe_a on_o shore_n in_o the_o i_o will_v of_o garnsey_n there_o shall_v i_o again_o have_v be_v examine_v as_o usual_o passenger_n be_v to_o give_v account_n what_o i_o be_v and_o whither_o i_o will_v and_o so_o in_o likelihood_n shall_v have_v be_v discover_v but_o this_o i_o shift_v off_o by_o get_v into_o a_o small_a boat_n and_o so_o unknown_a i_o pass_v from_o garnsey_n into_o france_n to_o the_o road_n and_o so_o to_o roan_n where_o i_o live_v about_o six_o month_n be_v at_o length_n expose_v to_o as_o much_o misery_n as_o perplexity_n can_v lay_v on_o a_o friendless_a stranger_n in_o a_o unknown_a land_n these_o suffering_n still_o bring_v i_o home_o to_o my_o self_n and_o near_o to_o god_n in_o the_o true_a acknowledgement_n of_o my_o vild_a fact_n and_o his_o mercy_n in_o the_o extreme_a wrack_n of_o my_o want_n see_v the_o providence_n of_o god_n my_o still_a preserver_n three_o ship_n of_o the_o state_n come_v to_o calais_n to_o receive_v money_n lend_v by_o the_o state_n to_o the_o french_a king_n with_o who_o like_o a_o restless_a man_n be_v at_o that_o present_a relieve_v with_o money_n by_o my_o father_n i_o ship_v myself_o and_o from_o rotterdam_n i_o come_v to_o delphe_n where_o sir_n francis_n vere_n entertain_v i_o a_o gentleman_n of_o his_o company_n during_o my_o abode_n in_o that_o service_n i_o receive_v continual_a solicit_n for_o my_o amendment_n repentance_n and_o comfort_n from_o one_o master_n trigg_n of_o longledenham_n in_o lincolnshire_n a_o godly_a preacher_n who_o daily_a letter_n quicken_v and_o second_v that_o good_a work_n the_o lord_n have_v already_o begin_v in_o i_o my_o father_n have_v by_o this_o time_n be_v the_o year_n 1603._o procure_v my_o pardon_n and_o send_v for_o i_o home_o for_o which_o i_o be_v no_o soon_o ship_v but_o still_o observe_v how_o god_n follow_v i_o with_o mercy_n and_o threaten_a judgement_n lest_o my_o pardon_n from_o my_o prince_n shall_v make_v i_o careless_a of_o his_o better_a forgiveness_n and_o negligent_a in_o the_o beg_n it_o the_o sea_n must_v again_o swell_v as_o angry_a to_o bear_v my_o sin_n and_o as_o if_o all_o these_o danger_n of_o rock_n and_o sea_n have_v be_v to_o little_a our_o tempest_n beat_v vessel_n must_v be_v chase_v by_o a_o dunkarke_a man_n of_o war_n so_o that_o their_o be_v no_o hope_n leave_v to_o save_v we_o from_o these_o danger_n but_o his_o omnipotent_a hand_n which_o safe_o from_o all_o these_o deliver_v i_o once_o again_o on_o english_a ground_n scarce_o be_v i_o entertain_v at_o home_n but_o least_o still_o i_o shall_v nestle_v myself_o in_o a_o secure_a slumber_n another_o affliction_n arise_v to_o endanger_v i_o the_o wife_n of_o the_o slay_v sue_v a_o appeal_v against_o i_o notwithstanding_o my_o pardon_n against_o which_o her_o plea_n by_o reason_n of_o some_o error_n in_o the_o form_n of_o it_o i_o obtain_v a_o defence_n or_o defeat_n call_v ne_o recipiatur_fw-la yet_o after_o this_o be_v my_o pardon_n question_v at_o the_o bench_n of_o assize_n for_o about_o five_o year_n together_o the_o judge_n of_o that_o circuit_n still_o bind_v i_o over_o and_o refuse_v to_o give_v allowance_n to_o it_o which_o i_o acknowledge_v though_o it_o be_v summum_fw-la lus_z against_o i_o yet_o that_o it_o be_v very_o honourable_o and_o judge-like_a do_v of_o they_o in_o so_o notorious_a a_o crime_n as_o i_o as_o also_o his_o majesty_n himself_o by_o who_o extraordinary_a grace_n i_o enjoy_v my_o breath_n be_v in_o point_n of_o justice_n very_o willing_a that_o some_o defect_n if_o possible_a may_v have_v be_v find_v in_o my_o pardon_n and_o so_o shall_v i_o have_v undergo_v the_o just_a stroke_n of_o the_o law_n which_o not_o only_o other_o but_o even_o myself_o wonder_v how_o i_o can_v escape_v thus_o the_o terror_n of_o deserve_a death_n be_v still_o knock_v at_o the_o door_n of_o my_o ear_n and_o heart_n in_o all_o which_o trouble_a time_n new_a provocation_n be_v daily_o offer_v i_o whereby_o i_o be_v in_o danger_n to_o draw_v more_o blood_n upon_o i_o or_o make_v myself_o uncapable_a of_o my_o pardon_n all_o which_o thing_n god_n suffer_v i_o to_o be_v temp_v with_o but_o not_o to_o fall_v into_o in_o the_o mean_a while_n my_o father_n be_v take_v away_o from_o my_o trouble_n and_o out_o of_o this_o world_n i_o resolve_v to_o have_v go_v again_o out_o of_o this_o