acknowledge with soule heart and conscience if thou saueâ— me it is a miracle and if thou reâ— fusest it were but iust iustice aâ—suring my selfe in forbearing thy chastising affection I shall eueâ— despaire of thy mercy and be confident of permanent punishmentâ— for that the pensill of holy Wriâ— which will not be violated Heb. 12.5 Apoc. 3.19 hath plainely expressed those whom thou receiuest thou chastenest and that their long laughing must be turned into bitter mourning Ioel. 2.12 Luk. 6.25 before they haue any true hope of thy grace fauour or pardon O then deare Mediatour I beseech thee minister dayly on me thy discipline correction Pro. 3. Iob 5. and when thou thinkest it meet let my inward griefe be my ioy the agony of death my comfort but if those will not penetrate my flintie nature to make mee glorifie thy vnspeakeable blessings and apprehend my base ingratitude Grant mee sweet Sauiour a feeling inspiration of torments due vnto the damned that if then I may not without robbing thy Iustice obtaine by thy Mercie a share in thy sufferings Yet I humbly pray thee let me be a second Diues vpon earth for admonishing my poore Christian brethren to preuent the like fall of so fatall a danger and the rather for that thou perceiuest offendours bee not so much terrified by thy iudgements pronounced in holy Writ as they are mollified at the sight of mortall creatures miseries Wherein it makes me feare Sathan by thy permission hath a more predominate power then thou that createst them All which I leaue to thy diuine Sacred will and vnsearchable mercie begging pardon for my bold presumption or if thou please to make intercession Mat. 8.8 and say Amen to my petition The affliction of a Prodigall O Deare and Immortall God! I thy abiects creature haue so highly offended thy Deitie Essence and Glory in prophaning thy Name abusing thy Blessings and slighting thy Sufferings that I dare claime no priuiledge by thy death no comfort in thy promises nor no fauour from thy mercies but the rigour of punishment the wrath of iustice and reward of the damned O miserie of all miseries what haue I lost thy Glory that made mee thy Sonne that dyed for mee and thy Spirit that sanctified me Is there a creature from Adam so wretched was there a child conceiued from Euab more miserable then I that haue lost the ioyes of heauen and purchast the fire of hell O my birth life and death I am wrapt in sorrow hauing small hope but in dispairing no comfort but in grieuing nor any ioy but in lamenting O thou false heart and cursed senses why were yee made to bring my soule in torture and your selues in torment to denie them will not auaile you to expect pardon is vnpossible to confesse them will hardly mitigate them O then deare Sauiour seeing I haue brought my selfe by sinfull presumption to permaâ—ent perdition yet let mee beg at thy hands the agony of indiuiduall sorrow which thou ordainest for the damned that if then the spectacle of my deserued maladie cannot dissolue thy iustice into mercy yet may mitigate my endlesse misery and not die like a stupid dog void of sence knowing thou madest me the image of thy Creature The Contemplation of a Prodigall MY God Creatour and Sauiour of the world was not I made thy image to serue and glorifie none other but thy selfe How falles it out deare Father that I haue beene more contemptible against all thy Lawes Sap. 5. Statutes and Blessings Ioh. 3.5 then a sauage beast I cannot beleeue it proceeded from originall sinne in that thy sacred selfe suffered for sinne nor from my conception Ezek. 33. for that thou desirest my preseruation but altogether by Sathans assaulting the worlds prouoking natures betraying and my owne stiffenecked transgression What reason then can my selfe or mortall man conceiue that thou wilt saue me when I neuer truely serued nor honoured thee Art not thou a iust Iudge Ier. 25. as thou hast beene a mercifull Sauiour To plead weaknesse auailes not wilfulnesse I dare not nor wanting thy assistance I cannot Wherefore then doest thou giue mee longer sustentation when thou knowest I haue deserued damnation Fxod 9.16 Act. 4.27 Is it for that thou wilt exceed in thy mercies to increase my miseries Or else are not my sinnes fully compleat for thy determined sufferings Why thou knowest Sathan offended thee but once I haue euer they both obey and feare thee I haue neuer What madnesse then would it be in mee to presume that thou wilt breake the whole course of thy iustice for my sake knowing in mine owne conscience I haue lost the benefit of thy redemption by my wilfull presumption otherwise I might bee confident through vnfained repentance to haue assurance of saluation by thy death and passion which now grieues the intralles of my soule in that I was such a cursed reprobate to crucifie thee who sufferedst on the Crosse to saue me Mar. 10. â—7 so that according to humane iudgement my talent is eternall torment Howsoeuer I bequeath the disposure of my deiected soule to thee Rom. 9.15 which shedst thy innocent bloud on the behalfe of me But why should I being so base a creature reason with thee that art my maker knowing the clay ought not contest with the potter For it is in thy power and not in mine to make mee a vessell of honour or dishonour Therefore in obedience to thy vnsearchable Deity I will surcease all disputations and endeuour to preuent worldly perturbations that I may haue so much hope to be thy creature as my beleefe assures mee thou art my Creatour The Agonie of a Prodigall MY sacred Creator and celestiall Father didst not thou make me of running water and ruddie earth Doest thou not see how Sathan assaults me how the world insnates me and how my owne nature betraies me O my God how then canst thou but in pittie take compassion vpon me knowing I haue no power to preuent any of these precedent conspiracies but by thy diuine prouidence Wilt thou then leaue mee to my selfe that I might appeare worse miserable than the beast which perisheth O be more charitable for that thou madest mee thy image cast but thine eie vpon mee and turne not thy face from me then trie whether thou wilt denie thy mercy vnto mee were not sweet Sauiour my first parents sinners Did not thy selfe suffer for sinners and protestedst thou desirest not the death of sinners Shall then the iniquities of my onely offences blot out the remembrance of thy immortal mercies When thou art my aduocate I the offender thou my redeemer I the debtor Let mee not then perish for want of thy protection when it is not riches nor honor I would haue O my Father no! or releasement of my miseries I seeke O my Father no! or heauen I beg O my Father I dare not presume no! nor any thing I craue but the increase
of penitent teares fit for transgressors and sorrowes due to sinners O my Sauiour no! How then canst thou denie me when I sue for no more but what thy selfe hath assured me O my Christ are these the eyes that haue displeased thee let them receiue no light through thee is this the heart which hath dishonoured thee let it bleed to death for thee Is this the flesh which hath offended thee let fire be her fuell by thee Are these the bones which haue brought me woe let them bee burnt and borne no more Or are these the sences which haue sinned against thee let them be a liuing sacrifice to thee O my God I am rackt with griefe that I cannot grieue and perplext in repentance that I know not how to repent For to proceed after the worlds weakenesse I suspect thou seest their wilfull ignorance And if I follow thy Gospels professours I feare thou findst them full of scandall distraction and worldly perturbation What then sweet Sauiour will become of me forlorne creature that haue no reliefe but sinnes to succour me Sathan to assist me and a guilty conscience to comfort mee without thy sacred sufferings make intercession for me and accept thy Saints oblations for sinners to thee I shall be forced to curse my conception and wish my mothers wombe had beene my tombe to haue formed me a lumpe of flesh without life or any creature but thy image for then had I liued according to creation and not liable to eternall damnation Yet most mercifull and immortall father should my agonied soule suspect to suffer shipwracke when thou guidest the sterne or despaire and die when thou art liuing or curse her birth when thou art in being O my God rather let her taste the tortures of hell then be depriued of life and lose her hopes in the ioyes of heauen let then Sathan assay his best and the wicked world her worst my deiected soule hath set vp her rest in thee that made her to saue her Lord I beseech thee to say Amen The Supplication of a Prodigall MY God my refuge my mercy how dare I remember thy greatnesse when the billowes of my crying sinnes haue raisd the wrath of thy Omnipotent person who out of meere diuine loue to pious charitie createdst me after thine owne image redeemed mee being lost and in a word gaue mee all I euer had yet haue I so much dishonoured the Deitie of thy glory that I made the pleasures of this life my Gods on earth and now they are turn'de my tormenting accusers of Death O Sacred Father bequeath the plagues of Egypt for my talent rather then this deceitfull world to my portion which hath not onely bred me disobedient towards thee that made mee a traitour to thy Sonne that dyed for me but sacrific'de my owne soule to be the fuell of hell fire O deadly life of immortall death what shall I tearme thee the shape of a Christian which without thy Sacred intercession for thy neuer dying mercies I shall remaine quickened with the fiend of hell to future ages for euer O do not thou sweet Sauiour forget the pittie of thy goodnes though I haue lost the dutie of my obedience but grant the same fauour to me thou gauest the thiefe vpon the Crosse looke vpon the teares of my miseries with the passions of thy mercies and if neither griefes groanes sighes nor sorrowes can appease thy iust wrath why didst thou make mee wherefore was thy death whom wilt thou saue or art thou another God now then when thou wert mercifull to the oppressed a Father of the godlie and an aduocate for the damned if they repented O then enrich my soule with a diuine sorrow for my ioy the agony of death for my comfort that I may neither presume of thy fauour nor despaire of thy mercie but haue thy great Name glorified thy Sacred death satisfied and thy poore forlorne sinner saued Lord I beseech thee say Amen ¶ The Prodigalles Prayer O Deare and omnipotent God I heere stand guilty of all the barbarous and inhumane sinnes which Sathan can obiect against the cursedst creature liuing For I haue presumptuouslie committed more riots and offences then either Heathen Pagan Turke or Infidell besides treacherouslie made thy name a cloake for my owne villanie Thus deare Sauiour haue I liued a smooth factour for Sathan to the vtter subuersion and depriuation of eternall felicitie and purchased the reward of condemnation with endlesse miserie Breake O my big swollen heart lest a thunderbolt from heauen preuent thee Gush foorth into a flood of teares thou Crocodile by nature in being such a cursed reprobate to forget thy maker a Diuell incarnate for crucifying thy Redeemer Ah sauage beast could neither creation redemption nor dailie blessings mollifie my flintie heart to honour thee as a father feare thee as a God or loue thee as a Sauiour but must so Iudas-like sacrifice thy image to the enemie thy curtesies to crueltie and thy redemption to my dreadfull destruction O indignation of the Almightie fall not vpon mee though I haue sowed the vngratefull seed of Plutarchs aire for Scorpions to bite my flesh and snakes to sucke my bloud Yet most mercifull Father should my miserable soule despaire when thy omnipotenâ— person died for deiected sinners Or can I presume to hope seeing thou hast punished thy dearest seruants for lesse offences Neuer O Lord in my wretched selfe but by the vnspeakable death and passion which is able to releeue the sicke heale the lame restore the blinde and helpe the distressed to thee I submissiue come whose sacred wisedome knowes that man is rottennesse his desires vanitie and life miserie Wilt thou therfore shew thy strength against so poore a worme as man that hath neither creation preseruation nor habitation but by thy diuine prouidence O then dearest Father remit the execution of thy iustice enlarge the liberalitie of thy mercie and extend thy holie spirit on me thy lost sâ—ruant that I may neither curse my birth nor being thou repent of thy creation or redeeming to the end I might liue in thy feare die in thy fauour rest in thy peace rise in thy power and remaine in thy glorie Lord I beseech thee say Amen To the Right Honourable WILLIAM Earle of Derby MY honored Lord I doe not know how far this my solitary life may trench into the displeasure of your Lordships graue censure Therefore I thought best to recommend those generall reasons which were the occasions of my reuolt from the world assuring your Lordship it was not the foolish fantasie of my wandring thoughts Gal. 6. Pro. 18.13 but a serious consideration of my former transgressions with an inward meditation of the small time that God will stay for mans conuersion or euersion made me bequeath the remainder of my daies to this priuate Cell by your Lordships assisting permission Yet peraduenture some will alleadge to your Honour that this course of retirednesse is neither commanded nor
in demerites nor disasters to the Apostles therefore ioy as they did in calamities that you may bee found a Cosin-germane to Iob shewing alwaies true Faith by your Workes otherwise were you my Father as you are my Brother I should forget nature and greatly feare you haue no share in Christs death Pardon dearest heart if I haue soared too high it is in your power to clip the wings but God knowes I esteeme your soules safetie more then man or mortall felicitie All which I leaue to his Diuine prouidence and your perseuering goodnesse To the Religious and Vertuous Lady the Lady Elizabeth Willoughby YOur Beadsman fearing the distance of place and dispensation of wedlocke might cause a reuolt from your Ladiships former welwishes induc'd mee to recommend these weake lines as an Antidote to preserue me from the shipwracke of your displeasure whose vertuous societie I euer honoured more then temporall felicitie for that I was daily an eye witnes of your pious charitie religious discourse and noble hospitalitie which makes mee presume the goodnesse of your chaste disposition wil rather condole my misfortunes of inward griefe then attribute discontinuance to the weaknesse of nature or want of matrimoniall affection especially hauing so much conference with a graue Diuine before my departure as your Ladiship may more perspicuously perceiue by these following lines wherein I spar'd not the reuealing of my woefull tragicall life to his iudiciall contemplation humbly intreating him that as I had opened the bowels of my miseries so hee would impart the trueth of his knowledge Whereupon with a modest and solemne countenance desired my age who replied about sixe and twentie he then began to expresse his sorrowes that so young a man should haue trenched into such lowd offences yet questionlesse if contrition did proceed from my heart there was no doubt but vpon true repentance God would forgiue mee Citing the parable of the Prodigall Luk. 15. the president of Mary Magdalen anâ— diuers others for confirming Hope and preuenting Despaire He thus hauing ended I gaue him much thankes for his fatherly counsell assuring his reward was celestiall not temporall wishing it might stand with his occasions leaue and liking to heare mee a word who seemed to bee more willing then I was readie at last imparted vnto him that I presumed a retired strickt Monasticke life would be the safest and surest hope to depend on for by such meanes I fhould not onely auoid sinne the occasion but discipline my selfe and the rather for that I had affection to the life from my infancie Besides the often dreaming what ioy I found in it intimating my conscience daily reiterated the same and that if I did continue wilfully in any one sin â—here was no foundation for Diuine mercy to build on Heb. 10 which the world custome and frailtie of nature had prohibited mee from the one and induc'd mee to the other as by my confession he knew too true Yet by no meanes he would not giue way alleaging the life was neither lawfull requisite nor honest for that it was not allowed by the Lawes of God to cloister vp my selfe nor admitted by our Church expressing Scripture that I was not borne for my selfe but for others and that my prayers could not bee so much auaileable as when two or three were gathered together But if these reasons might not disswade mee from my intended resolution yet the vow of mariage prohibited me though it was solemnized in the rawnesse of my youth by reason I had promised before God to forsake father mother and cleaue vnto my wife assuring mee I should neuer haue his consent nor hardly the Church of Rome notwithstanding they allotted such bug-beares to fright the poore Laitie Whereupon I rose vp God knowes as a man going to the gallowes or like Iudas that betraied our Sauiour and thus according to my weake apprehension replied Where hee exprest cloistering and that man was not borne to himselfe but for others I beleeued it assuring him my selfe neuer meant it but onely to turne those purple robes of prodigalitie into an Hermites weed denying none to visite 1 Tim. 4.8 but willing to instruct any so farre as God would enable mee promising future life shold be answerable to my speech and where he said prayers are not of that force as when two or three were gathered together I confessed it if so be they were all ioyn'd with inward spiration to glorifie God otherwise they rather hindered then furthered citing the first chapter of Ionas for my president But touching the lawfulnesse I alleadged that our Sauiour prayeâ— alone the Apostles wandred iâ— sheepskins alone Tim. 8.2 whose liues we ought to follow intimating theâ— aduice My Sonne come out of euill company Besides the wordâ— of our Sauiour Mat. 5.29 If thy eye offend puâ— it out much more in my opinion cast off the world And for marriage where he said I must leaue father mother and cleaue vnto my wife I could not deny it replying vnto him that if I was to leaue father and mother for a wife certainely I was to leaue father Luk. 9.23 mother and wife for Christ especially himselfe expressing and confirm'd by three Euangelists Mat. 10.37 that 〈◊〉 were not worthy of him if I would not as it did more transâ—arent appeare by the seueritie of â—ur Sauiour who would not adâ—it one of his Apostles to perâ—orme the dutifull rites of a sonne Luk 9.62 〈◊〉 bearing his owne father when â—e called him much lesse the rites â—f marriage Yet he suddenly anâ—vered that both Saint Paul and â—â—e Church hath forbid the same without it were by consent and that but for a time which made mee breake into a kind of passion with these words vttering Had our Sauiour said to the man hee should not taste of his Supper though inuited Luk. 14.20.24 for that his excuse was the marriage of a wife Againe where hee said No man hauing put his hand to the plough anâ— looking backe was fit for the king dome of God Notwithstandinâ— hee intreated but so much time aâ— to take leaue of his houshold Besides had God said Man was thâ— glory of his Maker the womaâ— the glory of the man the man thâ— head of the woman and yet haâ—â— not the head priuiledge to serue hâ— Creator without consent of thâ— feet intimating vnto him that miserable was the bondage to soule and bodie if they were not called both at one time But seeing the holy Apostle had not allowed it I assured him I would doe my endeauour to gaine her consent howsoeuer I resolu'd him I should rather depend vpon the mercie of my Sauiour for that offence 1 Cor. 7.17 then continue more in offending and follow the president of holy Saint â—eromes Confession where hee â—aith If his father stood weeping â—n his knees before him and his mother hanging on his necke beâ—inde him and all his brethren â—â—sters children howling on eueâ—de