greedinesse I had committed had sent forth their cry to the clouds they were of no inferior nature but suchas derogated highly from the honour of my Maker What may I then expect but that those Viols of his wrath should be poured forth even to the bottome if hee did not looke upon me with his eye of fatherly compassion It is true my deare Lord it is true No sinner ever exceeded me in number and nature yet comming to thee with an humble contrite heart receive me loving Father for one of thine Though my sinnes might justly make a partition wall betwixt my soule and thee my sweet Spouse for ever yet hast thou promised to be a Saviour to every penitent sinner O Lord looke upon me in thy mercy for my soule is sore vexed within me CHAP. 19. His Contempt of the Third in playing the Wanton IS it time to feast and play the Wanton when the Flood is comming Every houre ushers me to my Grave yet am I still farre off from receiving the motions of Grace Woe is me that my Dalilah has rob'd mee of my strength What a long time of youth did I lead as if that Spring would ne're have done How strongly nay how strangely have I beene taken with a whorish behaviour as if there had beene no well-beseeming beauty but what was accompanied by impudence How often have I taken delight in the count'nance of a strange woman How desirous have I beene to take how ready to bee taken That Belcâ—ne could not open nor in her opening discover the feature of a woman which my wanton eye did not fixe on Forbidden fruit and stolne waters were ever sweetest Lightnesse had got such possession of mee as were it in action or discourse there was nothing which took mine eare more or made the houre lesse tedious I had read how that the Adulterer and Whore-monger God would judge How that the pleasure of fornication was short but the punishment of the Fornicator eternall And sometimes I had the grace to consider with my selfe what thing this Eternity was And the more I begun to consider it the further I was from it yet I found it to bee such a thing as admitted no end and yet I unfortunately made a forfeiture of it for a moments pleasure Pleasure shall I call it no that cannot be properly called a pleasure but a torture which dams the soule for ever I found the deceitfulnesse of this sinne with what resolves I made hourely to become a true and unfeined Penitent never to returne to my vomit I consider'd how a continent soule was the precioust treasure how God would not dwell in that heart that was infected with this sinne All this I applyed to my heart but alas how long did it remaine uncorrupt No sooner was there an occasion of temptation offered then my vaine heart quite forgot what shee had resolved The thought of Eternity was presently choaked with an haplesse desire of enjoying what was lighter then vanity Woe is me that any reasonable soule should bee so deluded That neither the promises of a better life nor the shame of this present life could decline mee from working such iniquity I found how all bread was sweet unto the Adulterer How none was more estranged from his love then whom hee was bound most to love Thus I perished with open eyes for I knew well how the Harlot would bring a man even to a morsell of bread How her paths were full of deceipt and how her foot-stepps led unto death And I understood how there was nothing to be compared to a vertuous Woman and what felicity I enjoyed in such a Choice With what pious Obsequies I solemniz'd her Funeralls whom I once enjoyed with what purposes I entertained to remaine a constant Widdower after such time as I was deprived of her Yet though ripenesse of yeares had nipped in mee the blossoms of of youth nay though age had writ deepe furrows in my brow yet found I youth enough in my doating fancy For I am ashamed to thinke with what an unbeseeming lightnesse I encountred a strange face How soone I could gather by the wandring motion of her eye the disposition of her heart Thus in my declining age begun I to renue my acquaintance with light love and to practise that which did least become me So dangerous is the custome of sinne when it has taken full seazure or possession of the soule O my sweet Iesu clense me from my secret sinnes and give mee grace to remember these things with heavinesse of heart Let me goe all the day mourning and with teares of hearty contrition move thy tender heart to compassion O cuâ—e this bloody issue of my sinne apply unto my bleeding wounds a present cure As thou lookt upon Magdalen and made her an holy Saint of an hainous sinner so looke upon mee with the eye of pitty that I may find thee in the day of my visitation a gracious Saviour CHAP. 20. His breach of the Fourth in his cunning defeating of his Neighbour MY conscience hath oft-times told me and woe is mee that I remembred it not how there were many other kinds of Theft besides purloyning or imbezling of my Neighbours goods In defeating him of what was due unto him nay in finding what I knew to bee his and not restoring it unto him this even this convinc'd my conscience of guilt and that I was a Robber of him These seeme but light sinnes and of such easie digestion as they seeme no sinnes at all But these must not be forgotten for they are writ in his Booke with a pen of steele and are not to be wiped away but with the soft Spunge of his mercy I have often thought out of the foolishnesse of mine heart that privily to take away or defeat any one of small toyes or trifles as I accounted them was no sinne because they were of small or no weight whereas if I had knowne the quality of sinne aright I would have confest that it was not the value of the thing but the intention of the heart that made the sinne It skils not much whether the substance be vile or precious which is unjustly procuted or injuriously required so as the affection bee to either of these equally corrupted Though they be of different dammage in respect of him from whom they are taken yet bring they equall detriment to him by whom they were taken O with what sighes with what teares did that devout Father bewayle his breaking into an Orchard though hee was then a Boy and therefore pardonable These are now so easily dispenc'd with as they are held but tricks of youth But hee could cry forth in the anguish of his spirit I have had a desire to perish O Lord I have had a desire to perish O how the sense of sinne makes the least seeming sinne appeare heavy O what may I thinke of my selfe who have gloried in these things A graine of sand though it
THE PENITENT PILGRIM Few and evill have the dayes of my life been Gen Cap 47. v. 9. LONDON Printed by John Dawson 1641. THE PENITENT PILGRIM PSAL. 66. 16. Come and hearken all yee that feare God and I will tell you what he hath done to my soule LONDON Printed by Iohn Dawson and are to be sold by Iohn Williams at the signe of the Crane in Pauls Church yard 1641. TO THAT IMMACVLATE LAMBE CHRIST IESVS THE SOLE SAVIOUR AND RECEIVER OF EVERY PENITENT SINNER HATH THIS POORE PILGRIM HUMBLY HERE PRESENTED THESE HIS PENITENTIALL TEARES The Summe or Graduall Symptome of the Penitent PILGRIM CHAP. 1. THe poore Penitent Pilgrim bemones his present sinfull condition 2 His comming into Idumaea the companions hee consorted with there 3 How his owne Meniâ—y became his deadliest Enemy 4 His encounters with the world 5 His Combat with the flesh 6 What Assaults hee suffered by the Divell both in company aâ—â—â—rivacy 7. Three Engines by his spirituall Enemy reared that his Fort might be razed 8. The Concupiscence of the flesh 9. The Concupiscence of the eyes 10. The pride of life 11. How neither the Law of Nature nor Grace could call him home from his wandring course 12. Hee takes a view of the whole Decalogue and hee scarce finds in it one Commandement wherein either in part of in all hee has not beene a most grievous Delinquent 13 Hee examines himselfe touching the First Commandement 14 His breach of the Law touching the Second Commandement 15 His transgressing of the Third in prophaning Gods name 16 His dishonour to Gods Sabbath 17 Hee confesseth how this bloody issue of sin streamed forth likewise into a breach of the second Table and first of disobedience to his parents 18 His contempt of the second in his practising mischiefe against his Neighbour 19 His contempt of the Third in playing the Wanton 20 His breach of the Fourth in his cunning defeating of his Neighbour 21 His breach of the Fifth in suppressing testimonies to witnesse a truth or suborning witnesses to maintaine an untruth 22 His dis-esteeme of the Sixt and last in coveting what was anothers and desiring to increase his owne with the losse of others 23 Hee takes a view of those seven spirituall works of mercy and acknowledgeth his failings in each of them 24 Teaching the ignorant 25 Correcting the delinquent 26 Counselling the indigent 27 Comforting the afflicted 28 Suffering injuries patiently 29 Forgiving offences heartily 30 Praying for his Persecutors fervently 31 Hee takes the like view of those seven corpor all works of mercy and acknowledgeth likewise his failings in each of them 32 Feeding the hungry 33 Giving drinke to the thirsty 34 Harbouring the harbour lâ—sse 35 Cloathing the naked 36 Vâ—siting the sick 37 Visiting redeeming the captive 38 Burying the dead 39 With sorrow of heart he remembers those eight Beatitudes whereof hee hath deprived himselfe by giving entertainment to sin 40 Blessed are the poore in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven 41 Blessed are the meeke for they shall possesse the Earth 42 Blessed are they that mourne for they shall be comforted 43 Blessed are they that hunger and thirst after righteousnesse for they shall be satisfied 44 Blessed are the mercifull for they shall obtaine mercy 45 Blessed are the cleane in heart for they shall see God 46 Blessed are the Peace-makers for they shall be called the children of God 47 Blessed are they that suffer persecution for righteousnesse sake for theirs is the kingdome of heaven 48 How seven Guests under a colour of lodging with him sought his undoing 49 Pride 50 Covetousnesse 51 Lechery 52 Envy 53 Gluttony 54 Wrath. 55 Sloath. 56 How by their treacherous assault his Cinque ports become endangered 57 Sight 58 Hearing 59 Smell 60 Taste 61 Touch. 62 Being thus encompassed with danger â—ee 〈◊〉 himselâ—e for 〈◊〉 63 〈…〉 prayer and in every particular he finds himselfe a great Offender 64 Hee renders a private accompt of his Faith and in every Article of the Creed he finds a fainting failing weaknesse and want 65 Having thus examined himselfe and found in the whole course of his life a fainting in faith and failing in works He recals to mind those Quatuor Novissima oâ— Foure lasâ— Remembrances Memorials hourely necessary for all Christans 66 Death 67 Iudgement 68 Hell 69 Heaven 70 With the Remembrance of these He becomes afflicted in spirit 71 Faith appeares vnto him with a cheerefull presence affording him comfort in his affliction 72 Hope seconds that comfort 73 Charity promiseth him in this vaile of misery to cover all his scarlet sinnes with the white robe of mercy and by keeping her company conduct him safely to the kingdome of glory 74 He takes comfort And now wearied with sojourning longer in Idumaea he turnes to Canaan 75 The poore peniteut Pilgrims last Will and Testament His Funerall Obsequies The Pilgrims Prayer LOoke upon me deare Father thy poore Penitent Pilgrim I confesse Lord I confesse that if thou shouldst deale with mee according to my iniquity there were no hope at all left to me of mercy For what houre in all my life since my first entrance into this life wherein I have not in some manner or measure nay above all measure become a grievous transgressour But there is mercy with thee and therefore art thou fearedâ— mean time I of all others have greatest cause to feare for abusing thy mercy I have plentuously tasted of thy love and considering it I have many times resolved to become a faithfull convert and zealous observer of thy Law But these faire promises clâ—sed in a weake performance No sooner was therâ— the least opportunity offâ—red me of sinning then it found in me an easie impression Pregnant was I in conceiving prompt in consenting and prone in committing Yet Lord when I was going down evento the gates of hell left I should enter in thou held me And when I drew neere the gates of death lest they should receive me thy grace prevented me Whence I perceived by the influence of thy sweet Spirit whereby I became enlightned that whensoever I fell it was through my owne frailty but wheÌ„soever I rose it was through thy great mercy Yea I foundthee ready in every opportunity to afford me thy helping hand in my greatest necessity When I wandred thou recalled me when I was ignorant thou instructed me when I sinned thou corrected mee when I sorrowed thou comforted me when I fell thou raised me when I stood thou supported mee when I went thou directed me when I slept thou kept me when I cried thou heard me Nay shall I more fully declare thy good nesse towards me If after these few but evill dayes of my pilgrimage even now when the keepers of the house tremble and the strongmen bow themselves and the grinders cease because they are few and they waxe darke that looke out by the windowes if I say after these many too many
to doe but weake are my resolves if they be not assisted by thee O give mee then in these holy motions such constancy as in the remembrance of thy love unto mee I may forget offences heartily and so receive remission of my sinnes at thine hands in the day of mercy CHAP. 30. Praying for his Persecutors fervently THis Lesson was taught me by my Saviour when amongst others hee suffered for mee the worst of all others When the feares of death encompassed him when nothing but sorrow and heavinesse accompanied him even then when his Persecutors deserved least shewed he his charity most Father forgive them for they know not what they doe Thus did hee excuse them from malice imputing all they did unto ignorance so full of compassion was hee even in his greatest anguish Now resolve mee poore Pilgrim wherein hast thou showne thy selfe an obedient Scholler to such a Master wherein hast thou observed this Lesson Hast thou prayed for them who sought to make a prey on thee Hast thou wished from thine heart that he might ride on with honour who sought thy dishonour Nay rather hast thou not cursed where thou shouldst have blessed Hast thou not reviled him who wronged thee nor sought to impeach his fame who wrought mischiefe against thee yes yes unhappy Pilgrim none could bee more ready to inflict then thou to requite To pray for them or to performe any office of charity in behalfe of them was so farre from thine intention as thou accounted it rather an act of weaknesse then devotion Deare Father this I consider and with griefe of heart confesse my selfe herein a foule transgressor Sweet Iesu thou who prayed for thine Enemies teaching us to doe the like for such as should persecute us give mee grace to doe good to those who doe evill unto me to love those that hate me to forgive those who trespasse against me to spare such as offend me and to pray for all such as persecute me and that with such fervency as my prayer may bee ascepted in the time of their necessity CHAP. 31. He takes the like view of those seven corporall workes of Mercy and acknowledgeth likewise his failings in each of them FRom the view of those Spirituall Works of Mercy in every one whereof thou hast found thine infinite failings descend now poore Pilgrim to those corporall workes of Mercy necessarily required of every Christian to make him of a bond-man to sinne a Free-man and a Citizen But alas I much feare mee that my desires have been so long allied to earth nay laid in earth as these Workes of Mercy are estranged from my knowledge Truth is poore Pilgrim that I am I have observed these Workes neglected with the reasons from whence such neglect proceeded For taking my Survey of all conditions I found here one who priding himselfe in his youth bestow'd so much time in company as he reserved no time to thinke of Workes of Mercy Another I found taken with his owne beauty who tooke such content in looking upon himselfe as hee had not one looke to bestow upon his needy Brother Another was so rich and so devoted to that worldly Idol as it was death to him to afford one crumme of comfort to relieve him that was distressed Another as one distrustfull of Gods providence refused to performe all offices of charity fearing his too much bounty might bring him to poverty Another I might heare presuming of Gods mercy and flattering himselfe with Tush God will be mercifull Though wee should forget what hee hath commanded us hee will not forget to performe what hee hath promised us Another seeing the whole world set on mischiefe and how the simple and innocent were most scorned to avoid the scorne of the foole hee scornes not to become such a foole as to follow the haunt of the wicked Lastly I might find an other of so soft and delicate a condition as these Workes of Charity were too sharpe and â—ull of austerity this man would take no acquaintance of them lest hee might become enfeebled by them And such as these in thy Survey on earth hast thou seene and observed but pray thee poore Pilgrim all this while that thou observedst others was there nothing thou couldst find in thy selfe Sure I am thou oughtst to have endeavored with all thy power and all thy knowledge to know thy selfe for farre better and more lâ—udable had it beene for thee to know thy selfe then by neglecting and forgetting of thy selfe to have knowne the course of the starres the strength of herbes the complection of men the natures of all inferiour creatures with the experience and knowledge of all heavenly and earthly things For better is a simple Swaine then a proud Philosopher I gather by thy owne words thou hast been a notable Observer but wherein hast thou shewne thy selfe an able Professor O my Lord I know not what to answer I stand at thy Barre and have nothing to plead for my selfe Onely deare Lord I must confesse to my shame I have sinned I have sinned Not one work of Mercy but I have either wholly neglected or not performed as thou hast commanded O Lord impute not my sinnes unto me lest I perish everlastingly CHAP. 32. Feeding the Hungry THou hast heard read the parable of Dives and Lazarus and thou condemned the hard-heartednesse of Dives that rich Glutton who amidst those various dishes of his would not afford some few Crums some poore fragments from his well-furnish'd Table to feed a poore hunger-starv'd Begger And upon re-view of that story concluded him justly damned for suffering his needy Brother to perish while he surfeited So as his very dogges might partake what poore Lazarus could not get Nay this hungry Begger received more court'sie from his dogs then from their Master For they licked his sores wheras from Dives hee received no comfort no succour But now tell me unhappy Pilgrim may not I say to thee as that Prophet said to David Thou art the man Didst thou never see thy poore necessitous Brother hungry but thou hadst compassion of his poverty Didst thou goe to thy Cruse to refresh him with oyle or to thy Barrell to make him a Cake that hee might walke in the strength thereof and not die Nay rather hast thou not suffered him to cry at thy gates till his very bowels earned within him and thou wouldst not heare him Hast thou not bestow'd more liberally upon the proud Actor then on thy poore Brother Nay hast thou not sowne so lavishly thine ill-bestowed fortunes upon the Brothell or Stage as thou hast left nothing to give to the poor mans boxe Hast thou not saffered some of Christs owne Members to perish for want of food And didst thou not understand how so many as thou suffered thus to bee starved when thou mightst relieve them so many hast thou murdered and thy blood shall answer for them O my Lord speake for me for shal I say I have not done this my
ground where no water is so has shee thirsted after thee And now Lord that I may present my selfe before thee with more humility I will ever set my imperfections before mee remembring what good I have omitted when I had opportunity to doe it againe what evill I have committed when the remembrance of thy mercy might have declin'd me frâ— it Amongst which let me now call to mind those Blessings thy gratious goodnesse ha's pronounced to every faithfull follower and then examin my selfe whether I deserve or no to be listed in that number CHAP. 40. Blessed are the poor in spirit for for theirs is the Kingdome of Heaven HVmility is the Path that leadeth to glory There is no vertue that can subsist without it This may be one reason why the very first Beatitude is grounded on it But what are we to learne from hence Not to be high-minded but of an humble and meeke Spirit In suffering dishonour for the honour of our Saviour In possessing our Soules with patience In mitigating wrath with mildnesse In relinquishing himselfe in preferring others before himselfe In judging well of others but worst of himselfe In wishing unto others as to himselfe In rejoycing in nothing but in the Crosse of Christ yet unfainedly suffering with those who suffer for Christ. Now return and accompt proud Pilgrim whether there appeare any tokens of this poor spirit in thee Hast thou not ever reteined a good opinion of thine owne worthlesse worth Hast thou not beene of a Contentious spirit Hast thou not answered reproach with reproach Hast thou not beene more ready in defending thine owne honour then advancing the honour of thy Saviour Hast thou not beene so farre from possessing thy Soule in patience as thou couldst not endure the least affront without much violence Hast thou with soft words mitigated wrath Nay hast thou never suffered the Sunne to set upon thy wrath Hast thou in an humble contempt of thy selfe preferred others before thy selfe Nay rather hast thou not with the Spirit of contradiction opposed thy judgment against others and out of a foolish presumption made an Idol of thy selfe Hast thou in the Scale of Charity preferred others before thy selfe or rather hast thou not rashly judged others in thine heart and in thy too strict examination of him concluded with that proud Pharisee I am not as this man is In a word hast thou judged well of others but worst of thy selfe or wished unto others as to thy selfe or rejoyced like a faithfull Champion in the Crosse of Christ or like a compassionate Member suffered with those who suffer for Christ O no nothing lesse can I finde in my selfe unhappy Pilgrim I have ever held a poor spirit in contempt and an unsit Companion to take acquaintance of in this World How then deare Saviour may I expect an inheritance in the Kingdome of Heaven who am so farre estranged from a mild Spirit on Earth O my Lord incline thine Eare to my petition Renue a right spirit within mee so shall I be endowed with what delighteth thee by accounting a meek spirit a spirituall beauty and after this life through thy mercy become inheritour of that Kingdome which thou hast prepared for those that love thee CHAP. 41. Blessed are the meeke for they shall possesse the Earth HEre is a promise that the meeke shall possesse the earth and yet is it hard to find a spirit truly meeke upon the Earth By which thou maist gather poor Pilgrim that there is another Earth besides this Earth wee here tread on which shall bee given for a possession to the meeke That desired Earth prepared onely for such who have wained their desires from earth This is a Land which floweth with better things then Milke and Honey An heavenly Havilah where the purest Gold is to be found nay where the very Streetes are Paved with Gold the Walls are of pretious Stones the Gates are made of the best Margarites those many Mansions founded of square stones built of Saphires arched over with golden Bricks which none must enter but he that is cleane none must inhabit that is defiled Where then must thy possession be in this Land of promise what Mansion maist thou expect in this Holy City Woe is mee I am uncleane I am uncleane from head to foot there is nothing in me but boyles sores and runnings How may I then looke there to receive any Mansion seeing to a Cleane Lord is required a cleane Habitation How may I thinke that my Master will looke on mee who all my life time have observed least what hee commanded most practised nothing more then what he prohibited neglected nothing more then what hee commanded How may I expect from his hands a blessing or this promised possession of that earth who never shewed so much as the least meeknesse upon earth Yet did that meeke Lambe who became an offering for me leave such a patterne unto mee that if I were not wholly unmindfull of my soules honour nor wholly forgetfull of the love of such a Master I could not chuse but after his example become his meeke and obedient Follower For his whole life was a Mirror of meeknesse seeing from the Cratch to the Crosse he suffered all things patiently beare all reproaches meekely to reach unto thee from the tree of his Crosse a Crowne of glory O my Redeemer imprint this meeknesse of thine in my memory let it never depart from me put a meeke and mild answer into my mouth when any one shall revile me Let me referre my cause unto thee and that with such Christian Charity as I may sincerely pray for mine Enemy and in meekenesse of spirit to imitate the example of that meeke Lambe who with so resigned a will became a Sacrifice for mee CHAP. 42. Blessed are they that mourne for they shall be comforted THat wise Preacher could say It was better going to the House of mourning then to the house of rejoycing And yet how little did this admonition worke upon thy thoughts How pleasant have those Consorts of death those Brethren in evill seem'd unto thee How merrily the houre went away Nothing was wanting to make your delights more complete but that you wanted time to make your follies more complete Full cups merry Songs prophane Oathes were the onely Actors that presented themselves in this expence of time A long night soone past over but not so easily accounted for But tell me thou misguided Pilgrim were 't thou as quick in thy visits to the house of mourning didst thou labour to comfort the comfortlesse Didst thou mourne with those that mourn'd or with a tender Christian heart suffer with those that suffer'd O no! shall I rather tell thee what thou hast done Thou hast rejoyced when others mourned taken content when others suffered Nay if at any time thou mourned'st it was such as God himselfe was provoked with it For thou either immoderately mourned'st for the losse of thy friend and so
offended'st him with thy excessive mourning or what was worse for the losse of some temporall substance and so provoked him with thy indiscreet sorrowing or which was worse for that thou mightst not enjoy thy full of pleasure and so plunge thy soule downe into the balefull pit of predition for ever Thy desire was to passe time over with a merry heart and to satisfie her in the lusts thereof And yet thou hadst so much divinity in thee as sometimes to consider how none could partake in comfort here and elsewhere How none could be there comforted who was not here afflicted How none could be there solaced unlesse hee here sorrowed How the Almighty had a Sonne without sinne but none without a scourge One who wept often but was never seene to laugh One who from his birth to his death made his life a continued Scene of sorrow One who in the bitternesse of his soule called and cryed to all such as past by him to come unto him to behold him and witnesse with him If ever there were sorrow like unto his sorrow O no my deare Saviour there was never sorrow like unto thy soâ—rrow yet I who occasion'd thy sorrow partake little in thy sorrow O bring mee now to a true sense of my sinne to a true sorrow for my endanger'd soule Let my eyes be so well acquainted with teares as my affection may be estranged from all joyes Let mee become so happy a Mourner as with devout Magdalen I may become an hearty Convert of an hainous sinner and so by ceasing from sinne become a welcome Guest to my Saviour CHAP. 43. Blessed are they that hunger and thirst after righteousnesse for they shall bee satisfied MAny times hast thou hungred oft hast thou thirsted but tell mee was this for righteousnesse No this hunger of thine was rather like the Prodigals in hungring after the huskes of vanity or like Esau's in hungring after delicacie or like Ahabs in hungring after anothers Vineyard greedily or like Hamons in hungring after honour gracelesly And the like was thy thirst Thou thirsted but it was with Gehezay after gold or with those before the Flood after full cups or like Nimrod after blood or like Amnon after lust All this while resolve mee where thine heart is It cannot be lodged in the Sanctuary being so betroathed to vanity Thy delight cannot bee in the Law of the Lord. Thine heart can never endite a good matter so long as thou suffers it to wander from thee like light Thamar after this manner O how farre is this after hungring how to promote Gods glory how farre is this from thirsting after workes of mercy For how soever some of these who dedicate themselves to the devotion of the world upon a more serious remembrance of Gods heavie judgements prepared for every rebellious and impenitent Sinner may sometimes seeme struck with remorse of conscience and heartily wish with Balaam the death of the righteous yet so long as they care not for walking in the wayes of the righteous nor with an humble holy zeale thirst after righteousnesse nor mortifie their desires by the Law of obedience they may bee long time wishers before they bee enjoyers Such desires can never produce good effect which are not seconded with the fruits of a good life Where piety has lost her practise there is small comfort in the Court of Conscience As the faithfull man liveth by faith so must hee live in the life of faith and walke according to the profession of his faith or hee shall never receive the promises of faith Hee who believes whatsoever is necessarily to bee believed and observeth whatsoever is by the divine Law of God commanded that man shall be accepted But what is to bee expected in this wide world this wilde wildernesse where there appeares such want of obedience in youth such want of devotion in age such want of conscience in both And what art thou unhappy Pilgrim who speakest these things but as leaven to make soure the Lumpe Thy life hath corrupted many reclaimed none None more ready to sinne none more slow to sigh for those sinnes which hee hath committed None hungring nor thirsting more after those troubled brooks of vanity and lightnesse none hungring nor thirsting lesse after those precious treasures of Righteousnesse Deare Lord be mercifull unto mee a Sinner I thirst Lord I thirst give mee to drinke of those waters of life for unlesse thou helpe mee and reach them to mee I remaine desolate and hopelesse of reliefe in this time of my necessity Sweet Iesu the well is deepe and I have not wherewith to draw unlesse thou draw mee to thee and bestow on mee what with all humility I begge of thee O increase in mee an holy hunger and constant thirst after righteousnesse that my wayes and workes may bee sanctified throughout in the practise of obedience CHAP. 44. Blessed are the mercifull for they shall obtaine mercy CAnst thou unmercisull Pilgrim looke for mercy at the hand of thy Maker and never so much as open the bowels of thy compassion to thy poore Brother Art thou not in farre deeper areâ—res to him that made thee then hee is unto thee whom thou usest so unmercifully what would become of thee if hee should deale with thee according to his justice and throw thee into that Lake of fire and brimstone where the worme is ever gnawing and never dying fire ever burning and never cooling and death ever living and never ending where woe and sorrow howling and gnashing of teeth is the best melody that raging Tophet can afford Now to avoide a place of such endlesse torment who would not suffer the losse of any temporall estate nay even of life it selfe Yet thou unhappy one wilt not make thee friends of thy worldly Mammon nor in workes of mercy expresse thy selfe a Christian Every where maist thou find subjects fit to exercise thy Charity in every lane in every street thy poore languishing Brother begging reliefe for his sake who suffer'd death for thy sake and yet thou turnest away thy face from him his many ragges and running sores make thee abhorre him Again thou canst not encounter thy Debter but with much distemper though the times be hard his family poore and his necessities great yet conceivest thou no pitty of his distressed estate Thou layes thine executions upon him throwes him into prison where it is the least of thy care what become of him Let him starve for food thou art well contented his poor enâ—eebled corps no sooner lose their breath then thou losest thy debt and art here with well satisfied Againe should any poore way-faring soule repaire to thy house this Cell of thy Pilgrimage and after that ordinâ—ry forme of begging in Italy should beseech thee to doe good for thine owne sake thine answer as it has been ever would be like that churlish Nabals Shall I give my bread and my flesh unto strangers Tell mee then how canst thou looke for the
least drop of mercy who in all thy time hast been a stranger to the Workes of mercy Oh when hee shall demand of thee who gave himselfe for thee where bee those hungry soules which thou hast relieved those thirsty ones whom thou hast refreshed those naked ones whom thou hast cloathed Those harbourlesse Pilgrims whom thou hast harboured those sickly members whom thou hast visited those comfortlesse Captives whom thou hast redeemed those last Obits or Offices which thou to thy dead Brother should'st have performed what Advocate then canst thou find to plead for thee who is hee that will speake a good word for thee to the King that his wrath may be appeased towards thee oh none none Thou art wholly left to thy selfe and utterly lost in thy selfe and even in thine owne bosome shalt find that witnesse to accuse thy selfe as nothing may remaine but the expectance of a terrible and irrevocable sentence O God of mercy deale not with mee according to the measure of my sinnes for they are exceedingly multiplied but according to thy great mercy put away my iniquities that thy name may bee magnified O Lord thou who delightest in mercy and wilt have mercy on those on whom thou wilt have mercy make mee to delight in that wherein thou delightest that in the day of wrath I may find mercy CHAP. 45. Blessed are the cleane in heart for they shall see God CAn the Leopard lay away his spots or the Ethiopian his blacknesse As the Leper in the old Law was commanded to cry out I am uncleane I am uncleane So I a foule sinfull Leper may cry out in the same manner that men may shun me lest they become infected by my behaviour For as the soule is farre more precious then the body so is the Leprosie of sinne farre more dangerous then that of the skinne The Swan if at any time shee pride her selfe in her beauty no sooner lookes upon her blaâ—k feet then she wailes her plumes Miserable Pilgrim Looke at thy blacke feet how they are ever walking in the wayes of sinne Looke at thy blacke hands how they are ever with greedinesse committing sinne Looke at thy black prophane mouth how it is ever belching forth motives to sinne looke at thy blacke projecting braine how it is ever plotting new wayes or passages for sinne Look at thy blacke deceitfull heart how it is ever imagining how to strengthen the arme of sinne Looke at thy black corrupted Lever which proves thee a corrupt Liver how it is infected with sinne Nay looke at every part and every where shalt thou find this spirituall Leprosie raging and raigning spreading and streaming into every veine every joynt or artery And yet what an Idoll thou makest of thy selfe how ready thou art to justifie thy selfe How farre from craving thy good Physicians helpe as thou wilt rather dye then confesse thy want of health Truth is there is no sinne of a more dangerous quality then this spirituall Idolatry for by it whatsoever is in value least is honoured most And againe whatsoever in honour most is valued least Oh hadst thou unmindfull Pilgrim looked so carefully to the clensing of thine inward house as thou hast done to the needlesse trimming of thine outward house hadst thou beene as mindfull of clensing thine heart as thou hast beene of brushing thine habit oh then these leprous spots which now appeare so foulely on thee had never infected thee Then had thy life beene a Lampe unto others then had the affections of thine heart beene pure yea God himselfe had prepared in thee a Tabernacle for himselfe to dwell in a Bed of flowers for him to repose in a Temple for him to be praysed in See then what thou hast lost by losing that beauty which should have delighted him most The sight of God Woe is mee what a losse is this To be deprived and of that eternally in the fruition whereof consists all glory The sight of God! Woe is me that ever I was borne to lose that for which I was borne for which I was re-borne The sight of God! The nourishment of every Angelicall soule This have I lost by not clensing my heart for the cleane in heart shall only see God O clense mee from my secret sinnes O forgive me my strange sinnes O let mee now returne to thee with my whole heart and clense thou mine heart that I may make godlinesse my gaine and with these eyes see thee my God of Sion CHAP. 46. Blessed are the Peace-makers for they shall be called the Children of God I Beseech you that neighbour near me and whose testimony may much availe me speake for me have I since I sojourned amongst you laboured to compose peace or to prevent occasion of Suites Have I performed any office that might tend to peace Oh speake for me be it your charity to speak for me for unlesse your charity doe it sure I am my endeavours have little deserved it O no I see you cannot justly speake one good word to the King for mee For my conversation hath beene otherwise amongst you The spirit of contention and contradiction raigned in me and so farre divided was I from the bond of charity as I delighted in nothing more then nursing enmity Injuries I would beare none nay rather then embrace peace I would make injuries of none Neighbourly arbitrations I neither affected nor admitted it was my counsell ever that suits should bee commenced Let the Law try it though the cause were not worth a see for which we contended Nay to feed this fire of debate with new fuell I told such who repaired to mee for advise damnable advice to lead a deluded Client into the height of all vice that to beare an injury were to make every one their enemy How hee who forgives him that wrongs him encourageth him to picke a new quarrell at him while the remitting of one becomes the admitting of another yea where a wrong is threatned and not revenged it emboldneth the Actor to see it executed Thus lay I a snare privily to catch the simple and innocent doer and by my mischievous counsell to make him of a Lover of peace a common Barreter But evill Counsell is worst for the Counsellor this I find too true to my discomfort For now me thinks all those differences which I raised all those quarrels which I started present themselves before thee threatning nothing less then perdition to me for by the malicious instigation of Sathan they buzze like Bees about me and with strong hand bring mee forth before the face of heaven and earth publikely to accuse me This is hee say they who would be called the Child of God but how can hee have any interest in that title how dares he presume to derive any such promise from God who all his life time has beene a profest Enemy to the peace of God Hee has laboured to encourage Neighbour against Neighbour to bring all things into confusion by his distemper and
heavens are uncleane O when the righteous shall scarcely be saved what wil become of the wicked when the axe of his judgement shall not spare the greene tree what will become of the dry O nothing but woe woe may befall thee miserable delinquent if hee deale not with thee in mercy but in judgement I believe in the Holy Ghost This ninth Article Saint Iames the lesse delivered And thou art taught to believe thus much by it that the Holy Ghost the third person in the blessed Trinity is the Spirit of comfort truth and unity without which it is impossible to please God For as hee promised unto his Apostles a Comforter so in the shape of a Dove and in the forme of cloven tongues there appeared unto them this promised Comforter But how is it that thou beleevest in the Holy Ghost and yet with thine hardnesse of heart and loosenesse of life grievest the Holy Spirit of God Thus to beleeve if thou be not penitent will rather bee a meanes to draw on thee then remove from thee Gods heavy judgement The holy Catholike Church This tenth Article of faith Saint Simon founded But how dost thou beleeve the holy Cathelike Church or how is thy faith grounded if thou observe not what the Church has commanded How canst thou bee a Member of her so long as thou livest divided from her Or how canst thou truly call her Mother so long as thou hearknest not to her commands but becommest disobedient to her O then by a right faith knit thy selfe unto her or else disclaime thy being a Member of her But looke unto it for God thou canst not have for thy Father unlesse thou have his Church for thy Mother Neither canst thou ever hope to bee a Citizen in his Church triumphant unlesse thou bee first a Member of his Church Militant The Communion of Saints the forgivenesse of sinnes To this eleventh Article is Saint Iudas Thadaeus intitled And this Communion of Saints thou beleevest and for the forgivenesse of sinnes thou lookest And yet thou livest not as if thou desired to bee of this Communion Neither rendrest thou any such fruits of repentance as may cherish in thee the least hope of Remission The Resurrection of the body and the life everlasting Amen With this last Article Saint Mathias closeth our Creed And by it thou beleevest that thy body shall rise againe from the dust and that thy soule shall live with the just But hast thou not fed thy Body too delicately to rise againe to glory Hast thou not taken too much pleasure in sinning ever to enjoy life everlasting O thou blessed Trinity in unity and Vnity in Trinity thus have I made a confession of my Faith unto thee but my many faintings failings wants weaknesses and imperfections greatly discourage mee unlesse thou in thy mercy strengthen me I beleeve Lord O helpe my unbeleefe Give mee the shield of faith that here on earth I may acquit my selfe like a valiant Champion and in Heaven be made by thee a triumphant Citizen CHAP. 65. Having thus examined himselfe and found in the whole course of his life a fainting in faith and failing in Works He recalleth to mind those Quatuor Novissima or foure last Remembrances Memorials hourely necessary for all Christians THus hast thou laid thy selfe open to all discovery and there is no good thing to bee found in thee For in thy faith thou hast found a fainting and weaknesse and in all thy workes a failing and barrennesse Most freely went that blessed Father to worke and no lesse dangerous has beene thy walke when hee confessed himselfe in this fort Iinherit sin from my father an excuse from my mother lying from the Devill folly from the world selfe-conceit from the pride and arrogant opinion of my selfe Deceitfull have beene the imaginations of thine heart crooked have beene thy wayes malicious thy workes And yet hast thou taken the judgements of God in thy mouth Desiring nothing more then to blind the eye of the world with a counterfeit zeale But all such Hypocrites God will judge Hee will not be mocked with For as the Divell has his sive with which hee lets goe the good but keepeth the bad So the Lord has his Fanne by which he lets goe the bad and keepeth the good O when hee shall separate his goats from his sheepe his wheat from his tares when the Iust and the Wicked shall appeare before him and every man shall be put into the ballance O â— feare mee then thou wilt bee found many graines too lightâ— It were well for thee then to prepare thy selfe against that great and fearefull day And to furnish thee all the better by making thee a true Convert of an impenitent Sinner recall to mind those Quatuor Novissima or Foure last Remembrances Memorials hourely to bee thought and so necessary to be reteined in thy memory as the Christian use of them may prepare thee before Death summon thee and in this vale of misery fit thee for thine heavenly voyage to eternity And yet while I speake thus unto thee I find thy condition to be wofull for if thou consider them the very thought of them cannot chuse but startle thee and if thou neglect them thou wilt stand in amaze when they encounter thee O my deare Lord remember me in thy mercy and so prepare my memory that these Foure necessary Remembrances may never depart from me Let mee be prepared for Death before it come that it may never take mee unprepared whensoever it shall come Let mee thinke of that fearefull day of Iudgement and judge my selfe before I be judged that â— may not be found light in thy scale when I shall be weighed Let me O let me thinke how there is an Hell for the damned for better is it by timely fearing it to avoid it then by never dreaming of it head-long to fall into it Lastly let mee thinke of Heaven how it is the place of the Blessed and that none but those that are of a cleane heart shall dwell in it O cleanse thou mine heart that I may bee prepared for it and with much spirituall joy be received in it CHAP. 66. Death IT is strange that Death should bee such a stranger to thee when hee so daily visits those that neighbour neere thee Thou hast beene familiarly acquainted with many whose habitation is not now to bee found who have enjoyed the pleasures of sinne freely Others who have inlarged their Barnes and store-houses carefully others who have ruâ—â—led in their honours highly and could deliver a Word of Command bravely and now behold how all these being arrested at Deaths suit were enforced to veile to his surly command They have made their Beds in the darke They have left their Houses unto others they are gone unto their Graves and must not returne againe Their substance they have left unto others and strangers are become their Heires They are rooted out from the face of the
cheerefully encounter it and so prepare my selfe for that judgement which shall come after it O make me walke in thy light now while I have light to walke in and to worke out my salvation now while I have time to worke in For time will come unlesse wee walke here as Children of light when we shall have neither light to walke in nor time to worke in O inflame mine heart with thy love and teach me thy judgements and my soule shall live CHAP. 68. Hell HEare how the damned say while they were here on earth they lived better then thou and yet they are damned And so they taxe Gods mercy and indulgence towards thee of injustice and partiality Such is those damned soules charity Meane time thou livest securely feedest deliciously and puttest the thought of the evill day from thee by walking foolishly in the ways of vanity Little desire then maist thou have O thou sinfull Pilgrim to see death having so little hope of life after Death O had some of those damned ones who are now lost for ever received those many sweet visits motions and free offers of his grace those opportunities of doing good those many meanes of eschuing evill no doubt but they would have beene as ready to entertaine them as thou hast been to reject them O thinke with thy selfe how happy had that rich Glutton beene if hee had rewarded poore Lazarus with some few crummes from his Table O had it not beene farre better for him to have given to the poore all that even hee had to have stripped himselfe to his shirt and to have made exchange of his purple raiments with rags of poverty then to fry in hel-fire eternally O how happy had that rich man in the Gospel bin if in stead of inlarging his Barns he had inlarged his Bowels to the poore Little knew hee how soone his soul should be taken from him when hee addressed his care for so needlesse a provision His thoughts were so taken up with inlarging his Barnes as hee never thought How Tophet was ordnined of old how it was made deepe and large the pile thereof fire and much wood and how the breath of the Lord like a streame of brimstone doth kindle it Tophet was large enough though his Barnes were not But turne unto thy selfe for whom canst thou find in more danger of falling into that place of horror then thy selfe How hast thou bestowed thy time how hast thou employed thy Talent O hast thou not put it up in a napkin or done worse by employing it to some worser end have not many bindamned for lesse then thou hast committed and did it repent thee of what thou hadst done that so thou mightst not bee condemned O no many a wretched soule lyes there tormented for lesse offences then ever thou acted and hast thou yet turned to the Lord that thou maist bee pardoned It is written in what houre soever the Righteous committeth iniquity his righteousnesse shall not bee had in remembrance Now if the righteousnesse of him shall bee forgotten by committing iniquity who leaveth what he once loved relinquisheth what hee once professed what may we thinke of the repentance of that sinner who returnes againe to that whereof hee repented O how many have ascended even up to heaven and amongst the starres have built their nests and yet have suddenly falne from that glory by glorying in their own strength and so drench'd themselves in endlesse misery And whence came all this but because they ascended unto that Mountaine to which the first Angel ascended and as a Divell descended And canst thou excuse thy selfe of being one of these Hast thou not sometimes shewn to the world great arguments of piety Hast thou not beene sometimes like the Kings Daughters all glorious without but how soone becamest thou stript of this glory Thou fell from that seeming sanctity or holy hypocrisie into open prophanenesse and impiety Woe is mee what shall become of me The wages of sinne is death a death that never dieth but liveth eternally Where nothing shall bee heard but weeping and wayling groaning and howling sorrowing and gnashing of teeth O how grievous then shall bee mine anguish how endlesse my sorrow and sadnesse when I shall bee set apart from the society of the just deprived of the sight of God deliver'd up unto the power of the Devils and to goe along with them into eternall fire where I am to remaine without end in grieving and groaning when I shall be banished from that blessed Countrey of Paradise to bee tormented in Hell perpetually where I must never see so much as one small beameling of light nor the least drop of refreshment but be tormented in Hell for thousand-thousand years and so tormented as never to be thence delivered wher neither the tormentors become wearied nor they dye who are tormented O my deare Lord looke upon the price of thine owne blood Thou hast bought mee for a great price O deliver thy Darling from the Dags remember her in mercy whom thou hast bought O let her not goe downe into the Pit neither let the Depth swallow her up For who shall praise thee in the Depth O my good God hough the terrors of Death and torments of Hell encompasse me yet art thou my Succour and wilt deliver me and my soule shall live to prayse thee CHAP. 69. Heaven O How should I looke up unto thee that have so provoked thee O thou Mansion of the Saints thou portion of the just thou Citie of the great King thou heavenly and most happy kingdome where thy blessed Inhabitants are ever living never dying wher thy glorious state is ever flourishing and never declining I must confesse to my great griefe and shame that I have no interest in thee I have lost thee unhappily lost thee in losing my selfe in losing my soule by selling it to vanity I sometimes resolved to play the part of a â—ise Merchant and to sell all I had for the purchase of one pearle But I held the purchase too deare and therefore have I deservingly lost it Foolish Pilgrim couldst thou find any thing more fitting to entertaine thy best thoughts or bestow thy care then the salvation of thy soule Didst thou thinke it so easie a taske to get Heaven as to purchase it by making thine Heaven on earth yet hadst thou but taken halfe so much pains to get heaven as thou hast done to get Hell thou mightst have challeng'd more interest to Heaven then now thou canst Many summer days long winter nights have thy follies taken thee up and these seem'd short unto thee because thou tookst delight in those pleasures of vanity But to bestow one short houre upon devotion O how many distractions did that suffer and how long and tedious seem'd that houre because that task was wearisome to thee and thy mind was elsewhere wandring and would not stay with thee and canst thou now thinke that so rich a kingdom
great vehemence I cryed forth in this manner through the hope and assurance which I had in my deare Saviour I know that my Redeemer liveth and that with these eyes I shall see him And now I begun to wonder at mine owne weaknesse how I could so much as have the least distrust or diffidence in Gods goodnesse how I could suffer my spirit to be so uncomfortably drenched and drowned in the depth of misery having so free accesse to the Throne of mercy Againe how in this surging Sea of affliction where every worldy wave threatneth ruine I durst presume to play the Mariner and faile without mine Anchor Finding then so soveraigne a cure for my care Such sweet solace to mine anguish so present a repreve against death so fit a receipt to my griefe I thought good to returne to the Lord with my whole heart returning thanks unto him from whom commeth my helpe and on whose gracious compassion have I grounded mine hope My morning and evening Incense have I therefore resolved to offer that in an acceptable time hee would be pleased to receive my prayer teaching me how to suffer and by suffering to conquer and conquering to render to the Lord of Hoasts all honour O my mercifull Lord God who bindest up the wounds of every contrite and truly penitent Sinner suffering him not to bee tempted more then hee can beare but of the abundance of thy compassion givest him anissue out of his temptation Make mee ever with a religious feare so to put my trust in thy mercy as I may never be swallowed up of my misery And seeing wee are saved by hope give unto mee such a saving hope as neither too much confidence may make me presume nor the too perplexing consideration of my many sinnes bring mee to a despaire of pardon Bee neare mee deare Lord in the 〈◊〉 of my visitation let the enemy have no power over mee but so shadow mee under the wings of thy mercy that the remembrance of thy judgements may rouse mee sleeping the memory of thy mercies raise mee waking to render praise unto thâ—e as my hope is in thee my helpe from thee O Lord everlasting CHAP. 73. Charity promiseth him in this valle of misery to cover all his scarlet sinnes with the white roab of mercy and by keeping her company conduct him safely to the kingdome of glory BVt our daily experience confirms this to be so true as nothing can bee truer A Worldlings mind is apter to be transported with the light gailes of presumption then to be over-poized with any weights of a contrary nature Man becomes so apprehensive of the sweet promises of comfort as hee not onely forgets his former unhappy condition but even himselfe So subject is hee to surfet of that which was only given him to allay his discontent and to retaine in him a thankfulnesse to him from whose beauty he received that benefit This iâ— seemes charity feared much would befall mee So as one day with a comely affable and gracefull â—resence me thought shee appeared unto me not so much to increase my comfort as to prepare my mind rightly to â—se it For she found me subject to no such dis-consolate humour but refreshed with joy above measure which to attemper shee begun to impart her mind unto mee after this manner It joyes mee much good Pilgrim to see you thus brought from death to life But it were well for you so to moderate these comforts which you have received as not to lose your selfe lest you might deprive your selfe of the benefit of this comfort You may doe well then herein to imitate the Fly which putteth not her feet into the great Masse of honey but only taketh with her tongue so much thereof as serveth her turne and no more lest by doing otherwise she might remaine taken and drowned therein Too much honey cloyeth and too much of comfort drowneth Moderate then these as you tender your invvard peace Time has beene vvhen the very least beameling of these comforts which now so plentuously reflect on you would have infinitly refreshed you for your spirit was wounded within you present delights and future hopes had wholly estranged themselves from you Stand then in feare lest by abuse of these some worser thing befall you Many by being unhappy have become happy but very few have attained true happinesse by being in this world ever happy Now then as my sister Faith has in these spirituall comforts grounded you And my younger sister Hope has in these confirmed you So shall it be my care who am their poore contemptible sister to prepare you for them as they have prepared them for you that such choyce receipts may be applyed to that end for which they were ministred and your comforts such as the issue of them may not be repented After this discourse of hers I desired much to know her name for being as shee professed sister to those two Ladies from whose advice I had received so great comfort I wondred much at her Habit for though her presence were comely her countenance lovely her behaviour sweetned with a well-beseeming modesty yet her apparell was but meane Which she observing with a quick delivery and composed gravity shee thus answered mee You must not gather by my Habit what I am For I weare the worlds livery such as shee is pleased to bestow upon mee with no lesse content then shee throwes it on me with contempt For many yeares together have I beene the Rich-mans Almoner yet never to this houre did I increase my store for all the service I did him I required no other wages of him but to take his poore Hand-maids counsell which was To make himselfe happy with his owne But alas I found Simonides saying too true The vertuous did more frequent the doores of the rich then then the rich of the vertuous The poore were vertuous and repaired to the doores of the rich but the rich were vicious and would not open their doores to the poore I observed how vertue was accounted such a treasure as 't was held more fitting to be out of the world then in it whereas riches held that reputation amongst men as men were held of no reputation without it But yeu desire to know my name and you shall have it but I pray you doe not imitate the fashion of this present world by loving one worse when you hear it Neither am I a fitting Consort for you unlesse my two Sisters have wrought some good effect on you For charity is cold and such Companions are not easily entertained nor such Guests kindly received where the one bids us give that we may receive the other bids us give all that we have and when all that wee have is given to expect our reward in heauen But this sowing of bread upon the water is of too hard digestion to a foolish worldling and yet it must be sowne upon the water or your harvest is lost for ever Let mee
to stirre up his devotion Likewise of those ancient and decent Ceremonies of the Church being discreetly and not superstitiously used I have ever reverently esteemed Neither am I ignorant how disputation in arguments of controversall learning hath beene of late yeares in more request then care of blamelesse conversation and living how indiscreet and impertinent reasoning has in many places brought that wofull effect as it hath begot many irreparable rents in Christs seamelesse Coat thus wounds left to the handling of unexpert hands became so farre from curing as they grew more dangerously spreading and desperately increasing then they were in the beginning and before they came to handling These Deficiences are with pious teares and devout prayers to be repaired that men of learning may bee likewise men of living being endowed with that zeale as in all their arguments by way of private discourse or more publike opposition their sole ayme and desire may bee to propagate the Gospel and in it the glory of God with all singlenesse of mind and that without singularity of judgement being so free from all manner of ostentation or the spirit of contradiction as they may shun nothing more then popular applause nor hold any thing more deare then the Churches peace So as to compose this breach I never hold those in points of Religion to be sitting Disputants who made it their onely ayme in a scholasticall manner to weave up their Arguments but such moderate spirits whose desires were rather to cleare mens consciences from inbred scruples then broach new differences With all due reverence I esteeme of those two Sacraments Baptisme and the Supper of the Lord as those two nursing brests of the Church the one to clense and purifie us at our entring the other to strengthen and sanctifie us living and to glorifie our soules at their departing As with mine heart I beleeve unto righteousnesse so with my Mouth doe I confesse unto salvation Neither doe I professe my selfe such a Soli-fidian as to hold Faith sufficient to salvation without Workes Neither such a Champion for good workes as to hold works effectuall without Faith As Faith is the root so are works the fruit Nay I hold these to have such necessary dependence one of th' other as they are ever to go hand in hand together Otherwise that fearefull curse which our blessed Saviour sometimes pronounced upon the barraine Fig-tree must be their censure And now in this day of my Change as in this confidence I have ever lived so my trust is that in the same I shall dye That in the Resurrection of my Saviour Christ Iesâ—s is my hope and in his Ascension is my glory For I beleeve that my Redeemer liveth and that with these eyes I shall see him Thus have I rendred an account of my faith the substance whereof as I have ever professed in my life so I hope with all Christian constancy to continue the profession thereof even unto death So as though the assaults or temptations of the Devill my spirituall enemy whose practise hath beene ever by cruelty or subtilty to deprive man of his hope of glory should with all fury assaile me yet shall they never have power to prevaile against mee for the Lord who is my defence will in mercy draw neare mee and in that dying conflict give mee the victory This then shall be my clozing Resolve I meane to continue in the profession of that Faith now when I am old wherin being a child I was borne And having thus returned a due account of my Belieâ—e I hold it very sitting not to neglect that laudable use of disposing that estate whereof God in his goodnesse and providence towards me made mee here his Steward It were good then for mee that I remembred that message returned by Isaiah the sonne of Amos to Hezekiah Set thinâ— house in order for thou shalt die and not live True it is when the outward house is orderly disposed the inward house cannot chuse but bee better prepared To remove then from mee the cares of this present world that I may take a more willing adeiu of the world before I leave it and so addresse my cares for a better world by waining my desires from it for live hee cannot in the Land of the living who prepares not himselfe for it before his arriving my mind and will is that my worldly substance bee disposed of in manner and forme following First then after this vessell of Earth this poore shell of corruption shall bee to earth committed and as neare to the bones of mine Ancestors as the conveniencie of the place may permiti nterred and that my Funerall expences shall be discharged in the performance of which Christian duty I approve of decency but in no case too much solemnity which has too often drowned the remembrance of mortality in the lees of sensuality after this I say my will is that this small estate wherewith God hath blessed mee shall be divided in equall parts or portions amongst my Children that as they are all equally mine so they may bee equall sharers in mine Of whom I will not prophesie that they will dissipate or seatter all I leave them I have better hopes treasured in them For the portions I leave them though small yet competent if they be contented and more then I could wish them if otherwise affected A very little will suffice nature enough I leave them if well employed too much if abused May Gods blessing and mine be ever with them in their improvement of it And that I may crowne their hopes and my houres with one blessing more Blessed Spirit by which every Passenger is safely conducted from this vale of misery to the Kingdome of glory as these little ones are mine by generation so may they be thine by regeneration to whose gracious protection both now and ever I commit them Now I nominate and appoint for Surpervisors of this my last Will and Testament my deare friends Agapetus Eilicrines if they shall bee then living at my death whom I heartily desire for the loue they beare to goodnesse nay for the love they bear to him who is the fountaine of all goodnesse and as I repose much trust in them to performe this my Will And now mee thinkes all my worldly cares are drawne neare unto their period Seeing then I am sailing towards mine Harbour Let mee strike Anchor that taking the wings of the Morning I may fly to the bosome of my dear Redeemer Co forth then my Soule what fearest thou goe forth why tremblest thou Thou hast had enough of Idumaea for what foundst thou there but anguish Now then turne thy face to the Wall and thinke of the Land of Promise Thou hast but now a little time left thee the remainder whereof is justly exacted by him that made thee Sighes sobs prayers and teares are all the treasures that are left thee and precious treasures shall these be to thee