shall be bestowed upon the Saints Is Immortality set before me and yet I so glued to this mortal Life that the Interests and Concernments thereof so fill up my Time and Thoughts that these Heavenly Objects are too seldom thought of and presented to my Mind An eternal Life is offered in the Gospel to all those that by Faith lay hold on it and yet I Fool that I am so solicitous for this temporal Life this animal this perishing this fading Life so that I do too too much neglect my precious immortal never-dying Soul so that should I hereafter be banished thy comfortable Presence and excluded from those Joys and Pleasures that are injoyed by those admitted to thy Kingdom and Glory I could blame none but my self who have not in a due manner sought the Welfare of my Soul I have a blessed Hope of the glorious Appearance of the Great God and our Saviour Jesus Christ which I pretend to look long and wait for but do I live as an Expectant of such tremendous Appearances Can I with Comfort and Confidence and Hope look for this glorious Appearance of the great God when he shall come in flaming Fire taking Vengeance on them that know him not nor obey his Gospel If I be found in this Number how sad and deplorable will my Case be Help me O Lord to search and see how Matters go with my Soul If thou art not in Christ If I have not got an Interest in God the Father Son and Spirit there will be no blessed Hope for me but a fearful Expectation of the fiery Indignation that shall consume his Adversaries O! to be found an Enemy to God and he an Enemy to any at Death and Judgment is an astonishing thing therefore fly for Refuge lay hold on the Hope set before you Christ is the only Refuge for a poor undone Sinner to fly to in his Name and for his Sake thou mayst be accepted and not only pardoned but restored to Favour and Friendship Not only be delivered from the Terrors of Hell but be made an Heir of Eternal Life O blessed are those that have secured an Interest in the Eternal God for to those he will be a Sun and Shield he will give Grace and Glory And though they may meet with many Troubles in this Life many Ups and Downs in the World yet if they bear it with Patience Heaven will make amends and will pay for all I am sensible O Lord that I stand in need of a great Almighty Power to keep me from falling let me be kept through Faith unto Salvation Let me not be frustrated of that blessed Hope that thy Word reveals whereof many shall be Partakers O let not me be excluded but permit me to be a Beholder of those glorious Appearances that shall be revealed to all those that love serve and obey thee If thou shouldst say unto me I know thee not depart from me thou hast wrought Iniquity and done foolishly therefore depart depart into everlasting Fire Though this Sentence would be severe it would be but just for I have deserved a perpetual Banishment and Separation from thy comfortable Presence But Lord suffer me to plead with thee Is there not a Refuge for poor distressed Sinners to fly to even the Blood of Christ which cries louder for Mercy than my Sins can cry for Vengeance In him alone I desire to be found for his sake only I desire Acceptance O let not my Name be blotted out of thy Book but give me some comfortable and sure Evidence that I am thine that so I may run the Ways of thy Commands and not tire and wax weary but may by a patient Continuance in Well-doing seek for that Glory Honour and Immortality and that Eternal Life which thou hast laid up for those that persevere in Holiness and go from one Degree of Grace to another till they come to appear before thee their God in Sion Hold out Faith hold out Patience it will not be long O my Soul e're thou be at thy Journey 's End therefore do and suffer the Will of God patiently If he see sit to deprive thee of those Comforts that thou hast and dost now injoy be content e're long it will not be a Pin to choose what part thou hast acted here upon the Stage of this World You must shortly appear before the Judgment-Seat of Christ that you may receive according to the things done in the Body whether it be good or bad O what a dreadful and fearful Account have I to give the Sins of my Youth and riper Age are so many and so great that I am confounded and amazed when I though slightly take a View of them My Omissions and my Commissions my original and my actual Sins are such that I cannot bear the Scrutiny of my own Conscience how then shall I do when the Almighty contends with me My Sins of Ignorance and Sins against Knowledg my presumptuous Sins my Abuse of Mercies my Incorrigibleness under Judgments my Unthankfulness for former Mercies and my Distrust of the Goodness of God for the future these may justly provoke God to depart from me and say he will have no more to do with such a vile Wretch as I am But blessed Father I humbly implore that thou wilt not leave nor forsake the Work of thy own Hands Thou canst make me clean O when shall it once be Let my Sins be all done away and let me me poor Sinner be made meet to partake of thy Kingdom and Glory O that my Saviour would say as Paul did of Philemon What he oweth put that on mine Account Lord my Sins are so many and so foul that I cannot answer for one of a thousand how then shall I appear before thy Tribunal where I must give a strict Account of all I have done in the Body whether it be bad or good Lord I cannot answer for my numberless Number of Sins Since thou hast dear Redeemer died for Sinners let me not die in my Sins Thou hast paid a sufficient Price for the Sins of the whole World let not mine be laid to my Charge nor rise up against me in this World to shame me nor in the other to condemn me Remit my Debt too vast for me to pay before the last accounting Day Let me have some well-grounded Hope that the State of my Soul is in good Plight that however it goes with my Body and bodily Concerns that I may be assured it will go well with me to all Eternity and then I may be inabled to bear the Inconveniences of my Pilgrimage-State Lord I humbly beg thou wouldst take Care of me and provide for me what thou in thy infinite Wisdom and Goodness seest fit for me and let me be perfectly willing to be do and suffer what my God seeth good not my Will but thine O Lord be done in all things only I beg I may not be left to unsupportable Difficulties Let me have thy Love
the reach of Sin and Sorrow and are now Possessors of this Blessed Inheritance We are told it is reserved but for whom For those who are kept by the Power of God through Faith unto Salvation Lord it is thy Work from first to last it is thou that preparest this Inheritance and thou alone canst make thy People meet to be Possessors of it Let me find the comfortable Effects of thy Almighty Power which may enable me through Faith to attain Salvation that at the end of my Days I may receive the Salvation of my poor precious and immortal Soul for his sake who I hope loved me and washed me and died for me and is now at thy right Hand interceding for poor penitent Sinners Let me have a share of those Benefits he hath purchased for his Elect People Do thou O Blessed Father prepare Heaven for me and make me meet for it and however thou dealest with me in this World do not deny me Heaven at last the Hopes of that alone doth sweeten my Pilgrimage and make my Passage through this World tolerable therefore I humbly beg that whatever I miss here I may not be excluded from thy comfortable Presence but may be of the Number of those blessed Ones for whom thou hast prepared an incorruptible and undefiled Inheritance which fadeth not away but is reserved in Heaven for all those that Infinite Grace qualifies for and makes meet to be Partakers of PAPER VIII WHen thy Iudgments O Lord are abroad in the Earth the Inhabitants should learn Righteousness What 's the Lesson that I and all Persons ought to learn by the late dreadful Earthquake Hath it not a Voice Doth it not cry aloud and tell us that our Sins have reached Heaven that God is angry and displeased with us and that except we repent we shall likewise perish We are as grievous Sinners as any therefore have just cause to think God hath a Controversy with us in this Kingdom In a neighbouring Nation God hath seen meet to lay his afflicting Hand in a tremendous manner he hath visited them with a sore amazing and dreadful Judgment in permitting thousands to be destroyed by a lamentable Earthquake and Inundation of Water And who or what are we that we should expect to be exempted from the same or worse Judgments We whose Sins have exceeded theirs may rationally look to drink the Dregs of their Cup for we in England have had more Means of Grace than they but we have not improved them we have had the Gospel but we have slighted it we have had the Offers of Salvation but we have rejected them we have had Sabbath upon Sabbath Sermon upon Sermon and yet have not made a due Improvement of these precious Opportunities So that it 's but just with God to destroy us and our Habitations in which we have too too often dishonoured our good God and brought a Scandal on that Holy Profession which we have made We have the Name of Christians but too many amongst us live like Devils Incarnate How much Swearing Lying Stealing Killing and filthy Lewdness is to be found in this Land and Nation and especially in this City O the horrid Oaths and Imprecations that are every Minute uttered is dreadful to consider What little Conscience is made of keeping the Sabbath that is as a Day of Recreation to most and those that spend it best do too much think their own Thoughts and speak their own Words and do their own Actions So that every one must lay their Hand upon their Mouth and cry Guilty Guilty Have not we in this Nation cause to expect great and amazing Judgments when in our Land those Sins are found that a moral Heathen would blush to commit Our Sins as well as the Ninivites have reached to Heaven O that our Repentance was as real universal and unfeigned as theirs and then there might be still some Hopes that God in Judgment would remember Mercy and would not stir up all his Wrath though we are an undeserving ill-deserving and Hell-deserving People Lord we are in the dark and know not what thou art adoing with us Thou hast lately let us see what thou canst do in a Minute thou hast shaken the Earth and it trembled and it was of thy infinite Mercy that we were not all destroyed and sent quick to the lowest Hell Thou art God and not Man therefore is it that we are not consumed It 's of the Lord's Mercy that we are yet spared Help us O Lord to make a good Use of this Reprieve for we are as Brands pluck'd out of the Burning What Jeopardy were we in when the Earth of late trembled under us and our Houses seemed to be tumbling about our Ears our Hearts failing us no Place left to run to for Shelter How dejected and astonished did People look one upon another What Fears possess'd the Breasts of many all in expectation of sorer Calamities than yet felt but God hath hitherto spared us we are yet in the Land of the Living on this side the Grave and everlasting Burnings God hath of late shook the Earth O that we poor Mortals could get a Title to those unshaken Regions above which are not obnoxious to those Vicissitudes and Changes that here in this lower World we are liable to We ought to make a good Use of the late Earthquake it should awaken every one in particular to see in what Posture of Readiness we are in to meet our God What if he should repeat this amazing Judgment and not only threaten but actually destroy us It were but just with God to deal with us as lately with Iamaica How insensible have we been of their Judgments and Calamities how unreform'd are we though we see how God deals with others of our Fellow-Creatures We in probability are as great Offenders as they we spared they consumed God gives us Space to repent O that he would not deny the Grace of true Repentance We may look upon this late Warning like Ionah's Message that within a little while this City and Inhabitants shall be utterly destroyed Without dispute our Sins have reached Heaven the Cry of them is very great and should God deal with us as we have deserved we might long since have been consumed our Bodies been sent to the Grave and our Souls to Hell But we have a God whose Compassions fail not therefore is it that we are not utterly forsaken He is God and not Man wherefore it is that we are not Monuments of his Justice But his Mercies are still extended to us a sinful rebellious Nation O that they may lead us to Repentance and that the Effects of his Goodness may be shewed in our thankful Lives for this and all other Mercies which the Bounty of his Providence still vouchsafeth us PAPER IX DEath seemeth to make its near Approach to me and I am of all Persons most inexcusable who have frequent Warnings of my Departure hence if I do not
in some measure bethink my self and consider my latter End Lord I have reason to conclude that few Sands remain in my Glass to run With what Astonishment Anguish and Trouble may I review my Life past not one Thought Word or Action but needs a Pardon I blush to see how vile I have been and if I cannot bear the Scrutiny of my own Conscience how shall I abide thy severe Trial who hath kept an exact Account of all my Sins and Offences A numberless Number of Sins may be charged upon me which I confess I have been guilty of To whom shall I betake my self for Relief and Mercy but to thee O my gracious God for that I have heard that the God of Israel is a merciful God that he is slow to Anger and plenteous in Mercy that he doth abundantly pardon and forgive the Sins Offences and Provocations of his poor Creatures and therefore as I would not presume so I dare not despair Lord I fly from the Throne of thy Justice to the Throne of thy Mercy and humbly implore Pity Pardon and Compassion for thy Son's sake Magnify thy Grace in pardoning me though my Sins have abounded let thy free Grace superabound Blot out all my Sins out of the Book of thy Remembrance and let my Name be written in the Book of Life Let me be meet for the Inheritance of the Saints in Light when this earthly Cottage shall crumble to Dust. Let me be admitted to that Building an House not made with Hands eternal in the Heavens Let not me though unworthy be excluded from thy Presence Look on me in and through thy well-beloved Son in whom only thou art well pleased and for his sake be reconciled to me a vile Wretch By his Stripes let me be healed I have nothing to plead for my self only the Satisfaction of my Blessed Saviour on whom alone I rely for Pardon and Life Give me some undeniable Evidence that I do belong to the Election of Grace and that within a little while I shall be released from this Body of Sin and Death and shall be made perfectly blessed in a full Injoyment of thee to all Eternity Let me have some comfortable Hopes and Foretaste of a blessed Immortality to sweeten my Passage through and out of this World I am hastning and posting apace into an endless Eternity O that I were ready for my Appearance at thy Bar. Ah Lord if my Judg be not my Advocate with what Dread and Astonishment must I needs think of thy Tribunal where I must appear before a Heart-searching and a Sin-revenging God! There is not one Sin in my whole Life but is seen to thine all-seeing Eye and is all naked and open to thee Lord I would humbly beg that my Sins though many and great may all be pardoned and forgiven Many horrid Sinners have been received to Mercy and though my Sins are of a Crimson and Scarlet Dye yet the Blood of an All-sufficient Saviour can wash them white He is able and willing to save all those that come to God through him and he ever lives to make Intercession for them Help me by Faith to lay hold on this Redeemer who came into the World on this very Errand to save poor Sinners and reconcile them to God If so I dare not I will not despair yet Lord I beg I may not presume Help me humbly to cast my self prostrate at thy Feet and implore thy Heavenly Benediction Bless me even me in turning me away from all my Sins let them never separate between thee and my poor Soul Let them all be remitted and then it will be as if they had never been committed In my last and sorest Agonies let me see thou art reconciled to me Be with me till I die and when I die and when this World can yield me no Help Comfort or Support let me find it all in thee I know thy Presence can sweeten all the Troubles of this Life and Death it self Then let me not be dismayed at that last and great Enemy When I pass thorow the Valley and Shadow of Death I will fear no Evil for thou wilt be with me O Lord I beg thou wouldst not then be a Terror to me Thou art my Hope in the Day of Evil Help me then to hold up my Head with Comfort hoping my Redemption draweth nigh Let not this World have such possession of my Heart and Affections as to make me unwilling to dislodg and go hence when thou callest me off the Stage of this Life Let the last Scene of my Life be the best part of my Days Let me honour thee by doing thy Will and submitting to whatever thou my God shalt think fit to lay on me Help me to bear patiently thy afflicting Hand either Sickness or worldly Crosses or Death it self Let me not dare to murmur grumble or complain when Death looks me in the Face Let me not be too much daunted startled and affrighted at its Approach Thousands and ten thousands have gone through that dark Passage and shot that Gulph and there is no escape for any of the Children of Adam they that have deserved Death Eternal have no cause to grumble at Death Temporal especially if it be unstung nay then there 's Cause of Triumph for it is an Entrance into Life and Messenger to Glory therefore I hope and firmly believe and trust that that God who hath conducted so many safe through those dark Regions will not leave my poor Soul in its last Conflicts PAPER X. I Sensibly find my outward Man perish and decay but how comfortable would it be to me if I could as easily perceive the inward Man to be renewed day by day This Earthly Tabernacle is tottering and e're long will tumble down but in what plight is the poor Soul that now inhabiteth this ruinated Cottage What Provision hath it made against that Day when it must be turned out hath it got an Interest in and a Title to an enduring Substance a House above eternal in the Heavens This Life of mine is but a Vapour it appeareth but for a little while and then vanisheth away Lord teach me to number my Days that I may know how frail I am This outward Man is daily consuming wasting perishing and decaying and shall I be careless negligent remiss and unconcerned about my future State how it will go with me hereafter in the other World Though my bodily Strength abate yet let the inward Man be renewed every Day and wax stronger and stronger When the Comforts of this Life are as Iob saith of the White of an Egg unsavory have no Relish and are no Satisfaction to me let me have Comforts and Cordials that this World knoweth not of even the Light of thy Countenance and that will put Gladness into my Heart more than all the Treasures and Pleasures of this vain World Whatever thou deniest me deny me not thy self to be my God and Portion and let me have an
to sweeten all and carry me patiently through the remaining part of my Days and Trials Be with me when I pass through the Fire and through the Water for my Eyes are unto thee O Lord my God in thee is my Trust leave not my Soul destitute PAPER III. YE will not come unto me that ye may have Life O the Stupidity of poor careless and secure Sinners What will you not come to Christ who alone can give you Life Natural Life and Spiritual Life and Life Eternal We spare no Pains nor Cost to save the Life of the Body but O what Fools what sensless and sottish Creatures are we not to provide for Eternal Life What is this momentary Life given us for but to provide for our Departure hence to labour to get an Interest in God and Christ Our Time was given us that we might have an Opportunity of working out our Salvation with Fear and Trembling and that we may make our Calling and Election sure that we may get some comfortable Hopes that we do belong to the Election of Grace O get your Title to Heaven cleared that you are born again that your Sins are pardoned that your Person is justified and that you are truly sanctified and cleansed from all wilful Filthiness of the Flesh and Spirit Don't indulge your self in any known Sin not in omitting any known Duty nor in the Commission of any known Sin The least Sin without Repentance is damnable but the greatest Sin upon true Repentance is pardonable for the Blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all Sins even those that are of a Crimson Die If our Sins be as Scarlet God can make them as white as Snow if we do but truly repent of them and forsake them Let not that Complaint of the Prophet Hos. 5. 4. be verified in you that you will not frame your Doings to turn unto the Lord. What will you not do what in you lies to frame your Doing to please the Lord What will you not avoid some petty Sins that do highly offend your good God and may cause him to hide his Face from you Thus saith the Lord Seek ye me and ye shall live But may not our Conscience condemn us and tell us that that precious Time that our good God hath given us to seek him and to be reconciled to him and to make our Peace with him even that Time hath been spent in Sin and very Vanity in adding Iniquity to Iniquity We are commanded to keep our selves in the Love of God looking for the Mercy of our Lord Iesus Christ unto Eternal Life It is to no purpose to expect Mercy from Christ or to hope for Eternal Life if we do not what we can to keep our selves in the Love of God O then let it be your Study Day and Night to approve your selves to the Lord chearfully obey his Commands patiently submit to Afflictions thankfully receive Mercies and make a holy Improvement of them look to your selves that you lose not those things which ye have wrought but that ye receive a full Reward Allow not your selves in any Sin though never so small in your own Eyes lest God should say as unto the Church of Ephesus Though thou hast made a Profession of my Name and hast made conscience of some gross Sins nevertheless I have somewhat against thee because thou hast left thy first Love Remember therefore from whence thou art fallen and repent or else I will come unto thee quickly and will remove thy Candlestick out of his Place except thou repent If our Love to God and his Ordinances be not as fervent as formerly if our Hatred of Sin or sinful Courses be lessened if our Care to please God and our Fear to offend him be less than heretofore we have just Reason to fear that God will deprive us of our forfeited Gospel or harden our Hearts that we shall not profit by it which dreadful Judgment O Lord in Mercy prevent If our outward Carriage before Men should seem never so well nay if we can approve our selves to our own Consciences in many respects yet the All-searching God may truly say not only that he hath a few things against us but many things against us therefore it is our Wisdom to search and try our selves and turn again to the Lord from whom we have too deeply revolted PAPER IV. GOD hath been pleased to deprive me of my dear Husband so that my Care ought to be doubled in the Education of my poor Children when I must discharge his part and my own Duty too I know not how soon God may call me out of this World I have frequent Warnings of my Mortality by the Death of others and my own often Indisposition My Children are now young and therefore what I say may not make due Impressions on them by reason of their tender Age and when I come to die I know not whether I shall have Time Opportunity or my Senses then to speak to them of the things that belong to their everlasting Peace for ought I know I then may be seized as often I have been with Convulsion-fits which may soon carry my Soul out of this into an endless Life so that I may not have any leisure to counsel instruct or charge them to take care of their dear precious and immortal Souls therefore I shall leave my Charge and Commands in Writing that they may often take a View of them as being the Commands of their dying Mother Dear Children I charge you as you hope to meet me with Comfort at the Day of Judgment that you avoid all Sins as Lying Swearing taking God's Holy Name in vain which I particularly mention as incident to your Age I charge you make Conscience of keeping the Sabbath-Day holy Do not think your own Thoughts nor speak your own Words nor do your own Actions remember it is God's Day and must be spent in his Service Before you go to Church bless God for the Mercies of the Night past for giving you leave to see the Light of another Day especially another Sabbath-Day wherein you may have an Opportunity of waiting upon God and getting good to your poor Souls When you are in the solemn Assemblies of God's People let your Carriage be grave serious and awful as remembring God sees you and let your Minds be attentive to what the Minister saith Hear so that your Souls may live Be not forgetful Hearers but be ye Doers of the Word and so shall ye be blessed in all that you do Do not spend any time in idle Recreation or walking in the Fields upon the Lord's Day for the Profanation of that Day is an Inlet to many other Sins My dear Children spend some time every Day in reading God's Word and in Prayer you know not what a Blessing it is to have the Bible therefore do not slight it but make a good Use of it Do not squander away your Time in reading Plays and
Deal with me as thou usest to do to those that love thy Name Lord I hope I love thee Lord I desire to love thee and to be beloved by thy blessed Majesty and then all the Afflictions that I meet with will make no Breach between thy self and my poor Soul Thou art pleased to afflict me very sore but I do not I dare not I will not say unto thee What dost thou for thou givest no Account of thy Matters It is my Duty to submit admire not to quarrel at thy Providences therefore with all humble Submission I acquiesce to thy Sovereign Will saying as my Blessed Saviour Not my Will but thine O Lord be done PAPER VI. I Am willing to recount some of those many Mercies God hath been pleased to bestow upon me to excite my Self to Thankfulness and to incourage me still to trust in and wait upon that good God who hath bestowed so many Mercies upon me the least of which I am altogether unworthy of I may say with David While I live will I praise the Lord I will sing Praises to my God while I have any Being to that God who hath bestowed my Life Health my Strength my Memory my Reason my Understanding and all the Blessings of this Life upon me and hath through Grace given me Hopes of dwelling with himself in Glory when this miserable Life shall be ended O my Soul praise thou the Lord O give Thanks unto the Lord for he is good for his Mercy endureth for ever Remember the Goodness of God to thee from the very Womb to this very Day nay before thou hadst a Being in this World God was pleased to form thee and write all thy Members in a Book or else what an imperfect Creature might I have been if there had been an Eye or an Ear or any part wanting O that I could be truly thankful for these Mercies I desire with Thankfulness to remember the Dealing of God to me in my Infancy and Childhood How many Dangers and Accidents have I been liable and exposed to and yet God hath been pleased to take Care of me and preserved me from innumerable Mischiefs that have compassed me about I look upon it as no small Blessing that I was born of Christian Religious and Pious Parents such as did truly fear God and did what in them lay to instruct their Posterity in early Piety they were those that frequently addressed themselves to the Throne of Grace the Benefit of whose Prayers I hope to reap both in Life and Death I desire with Thankfulness to own the Goodness of God in taking Care of me and providing for me when I was left motherless in my tender Age when I was uncapable of minding my self yet then was God pleased to raise me up Friends that were careful kind and tender of me some of which did instruct me in the best things and were very solicitous for the Good of my poor Soul and did daily counsel instruct and admonish me to mind my Creator in the Days of my Youth and to live continually as one that must one Day give an Account of all the Good or Evil done in the Body And that you may see how the Goodness of God hath followed me all my Days I will endeavour to recollect those many comfortable Places of Scripture which have been of most excellent Use to me to comfort support and incourage me in many Difficulties and Troubles I have met with some of which I hope will ever keep my Spirits from sinking In my younger Years being seized on by a severe Fit of Illness that comfortable Place was a Support to me Heb. 13. 5. Be content with such things as you have for he hath said I will never leave thee nor forsake thee I was well satisfied with my present Condition though painful and sick enough hoping that God would not leave me nor forsake me Some time after being in great Fear and Danger of some approaching Evil that incouraging Place was brought to my Mind Isa. 41. 10. Fear thou not for I am with thee be not dismayed for I am thy God I will strengthen thee yea I will help thee yea I will uphold thee with the right Hand of my Righteousness This Place vanished all my Fears and caused me to put my Trust and Confidence in the Almighty God who never faileth those that rely on him Afterwards when I came to part with Children though this Affliction was very heavy God was pleased to mitigate it by the Consideration that there was a Name better than that of Sons and Daughters and though God saw fit to deprive me of them for wise Reasons I doubt not yet he was pleased to silence me under his Hand by the Considerations of Heb. 12. 5 6. My Son despise not thou the chastening of the Lord nor faint when thou art rebuked of him for whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth and scourgeth every Son whom he receiveth I have sometimes thought that if I were assured of the Love of my Heavenly Father I could then bear any Affliction Lord I beg I may be truly humbled that I have deserved so many severe Scourges and yet Lord I would be thankful that thou art pleased though by the Rod to bring me home to thy Blessed Self When my dear Husband hath met with many Losses and Crosses I have been apt to be desponding and cast down but God hath mercifully composed me by the Consideration of Matth. 6. 25 26 c. There I see that God clothes the Grass and feeds the Fowls and hath bidden poor Creatures not to be anxious for these outward things assuring us that our Heavenly Father knoweth we have need of these things and that he will graciously supply the Wants of those that seek to him Phil. 4. 6. He hath bidden me to be careful for nothing but in every thing by Prayer and Supplication with Thanksgiving to let my Request be made known unto him and God hath incouraged poor Souls to cast their Care on him letting them know he careth for them What should I go to for Comfort if I had not the Word of the Eternal God to fly to It would be endless to reckon up the thousand Parts of those refreshing comforting and quickning Places that are to be had in the Word of God to comfort poor disconsolate Souls in all Conditions of Life and it ought to be took notice of how God is pleased to sute them to our present Conditions of Life I was once so perplexed with groundless Fears of Troubles that I was for some time unfit for any thing but my good God was pleased to fix upon my Mind Psal 23. 1. The Lord is my Shepherd I shall not want There was then no room left for any tormenting Fears but they all vanished away at the Consideration of the Happiness of those that have so careful a Shepherd It is my earnest Request that God will own me as one of his Flock however he deal
with me as to worldly Matters I was not a little comforted and refreshed also by the last Verse of that Psalm which saith Surely Goodness and Mercy shall follow me all the Days of my Life and I will dwell in the House of the Lord for ever I am sure Goodness and Mercy have followed me to this very Day therefore I will not distrust the merciful Kindness of God to me to my Life's End But if I should be stripp'd of earthly Blessings I beg I may have the Liberty of God's House here and the Happiness of dwelling with him for ever hereafter If I should with Lazarus be clothed with Rags and fed with Crumbs all my Days if my Body should be full of Sores yet if God will own me and approve me and at Death receive me to himself I may with tolerable Patience bear the Inconveniencies of my Pilgrimage-state knowing that they will not last long And that I may with the more Confidence cast my poor fatherless Children upon God I will call to mind those Places that did quiet me under the Loss of my dear and loving and tender Father which were these that God was pleased to promise to be a Father to the Fatherless and that when Father and Mother forsake then the Lord would take them up God hath bidden poor Creatures to cast their Burden upon him assuring them that he takes Care of them and sustains them And the forementioned Place Isa. 41. 10. is a sufficient Cordial to keep any Soul from fainting and sinking under any Distress whatsoever therefore I hope and trust and believe that the good God who hath been so bountiful so merciful and so kind to me to extend so many Favours to me will also take pity of my fatherless Babes With him the Fatherless find Mercy Lord I therefore commit them into thy Hands as unto a faithful Creator and Redeemer and beg that thou wouldst here guide them with thy Counsel and afterwards receive them to Glory Sometimes when my Children have been taken very ill so that there was no room for hope of Life to outward Appearance yet even then hath my good God supported me by some comfortable Portion of his Holy Word Once one of my Children being given over I was in great Perplexity of Mind that Place came to my Thoughts Call on me in the day of Trouble and I will deliver thee and thou shalt glorify me I was extremely revived at the Consideration of that Place for that was then a Time of Trouble to me And then being incouraged that if I called upon God he would deliver me I did then with firm Hopes and Confidence rely upon my merciful God and Father whom I have found ready to help and deliver me out of many Distresses Blessed and for ever blessed be his Name who was pleased to hear the Cries and Groans of his poor unworthy undeserving ill-deserving and Hell-deserving Creature And seeing God was pleased to deliver me from my great Fears my next Inquiry should be how I may glorify this good God Lord help me to make it the Care and Business and Study of my Life how I may please thee and honour thee and serve thy Blessed Majesty the remaining part of my Days Amen Amen PAPER VII WHat a Cordial to the Godly is the first of Peter the first Chapter the second Verse and so on Where we find that God intends Heaven for them and is graciously pleased to reserve and preserve them for it it being a reviving Consideration to me sometimes to see how God deals with his poor Children and what Steps he takes to bring them to Glory I will for the Benefit of my too often desponding Soul ruminate on this Place of Scripture where I find these Words of Peter an Apostle of Iesus Christ who writes to the Strangers scattered throughout Pontus Galatia Cappadocia Asia and Bithynia Elect according to the Fore-knowledg of God the Father through Sanctification of the Spirit unto Obedience and sprinkling of the Blood of Iesus Christ Grace unto you and Peace be multiplied In this Verse I observe how the whole Trinity are imployed in the Salvation of Sinners God the Father he elects he fore-knoweth whom he will bring to himself then the Spirit sanctifieth those whom God hath elected and makes them obedient to their Heavenly Father and they are sprinkled with the Blood of Jesus Christ their Sins for his sake are all done away therefore the Apostle may well say Grace unto you and Peace be multiplied for who can want Grace or Peace whom God the Father Son and Spirit are contriving how to bring them to Glory We may well go on with the Apostle blessing God for his unspeakable Mercies saying Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Iesus Christ which according to his abundant Mercy hath begotten us again unto a lively Hope by the Resurrection of Iesus Christ from the Dead to an Inheritance incorruptible and undefiled and that fadeth not away reserved in Heaven for you who are kept by the Power of God through Faith unto Salvation O Blessed Blessed Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Here in this Life we want Time and Hearts to bless the Lord for his abundant Mercy towards us Eternity will be little enough to sing forth the Praises of the King of Kings for giving us a lively Hope that one Day we shall be so happy to be admitted into the Heavenly Society that are continually viewing the Face of the Lamb and contemplating his Glory This inestimable Privilege is only procured and purchased by the Sufferings Death and Resurrection of our alone Saviour the Lord Jesus Christ who hath provided an Inheritance incorruptible and undefiled and that fadeth not away O the Emphasis of these Words an Inheritance What a poor Mortal to be an Heir of Heaven And this Inheritance is incorruptible not subject to Corruption Alteration or Change and it is undefiled The Things of this World are defiled with Sin they are vile contemptible and vain nay Vanity it self but this Heavenly Inheritance we see is incorruptible and undefiled And to compleat our Fruition it fadeth not away but continueth throughout all Successions of Ages There is no Probability nor Possibility of Decay or End for the Immutable and Eternal God hath assured us that they fade not away but are reserved in Heaven a secure Place beyond the reach of Men or Devils It is not in the power of Friend or Foe to dispossess the Children of God of this Heavenly Inheritance When I consider the Happiness the inconceivable Felicity of the Saints above that are now Possessors of this Inheritance that is incorruptible undefiled and that will never fade away I am apt to say with Austin's Mother when she had heard a Discourse of the Glory above What do I here then So am I reflecting What do I here in this defiling World sinning against and offending God when many are got safe beyond
Interest in thy Son my only Saviour and Redeemer and do thou graciously give thy Holy Spirit to direct guide quicken counsel and comfort me the remaining part of my sojourning here How few Days may put a Period to my Life I know not In all probability it will not be long before I leave the Stage of this World and be summoned before the Bar of God to give a strict and impartial Account of my past Life O it is an awful thing to die and come to Judgment I beg O Lord I beg that I may be made meet for the Inheritance of the Saints in Light Sanctify me wholly let my whole Spirit Soul and Body be preserved blameless unto the Coming of my Lord Jesus Christ. O be thou pleased to preserve me unto thy Heavenly Kingdom Many Fears and much Ground for Fears have I that I shall never enter into Rest But blessed Lord do not exclude me from thy comfortable Presence hereafter Do thou make me fit to be a Member of those blessed Inhabitants of the New Ierusalem Though I am altogether unworthy yet if thou O Lord please to account me worthy I may then be so happy as to stand before the Son of Man with Courage and Comfort Keep thou me by thy Almighty Power through Faith unto Salvation Let me be preserved from fainting sinking and desponding in my last Conflicts and Agonies Let me see thee who art invisible and with an Eye of Faith look within the Vail whence I look for the Saviour the Lord Jesus Christ to change this vile Body of mine that it may be fashioned like to his glorious Body Let this Saviour be my Saviour and Redeemer even the Lord Jesus Christ and let me be assured that he is mine and I am indeed his and that this vile contemptible wretched Body shall be changed and made like to his glorious and blessed Body This is such an Honour and Privilege that I have hardly a Face to ask But I find a Warrant in thy Word to look long expect pant and wait for so happy a Day and Time as to be in a sinless State and Condition where we shall see our Saviour and be like him where earthly Troubles and Sorrows shall vanish and decay where the World the Flesh and the Devil shall have no Power to tempt molest or disturb those that thou O Lord God Almighty shalt admit into thy Heavenly Kingdom and Glory O blessed Souls that are here owned by thee approved by thee and shall at last be received by thee into those Eternal Mansions above Lord I humbly put in for a Share in these inestimable Mercies and Privileges Earthly things cannot content me without some Hopes some Prospect some Glimpse of thy Love and Favour If thou afford me this I may then bear the Inconveniencies the Hardships and ill Usage I meet with here in this howling Desart Let not my Unworthiness be a Bar and Hindrance to hinder good things from me Look not on me as in my self a vile polluted wretched undone Creature but behold me in and through thy well-beloved Son and for his sake alone be gracious and merciful to me I have been guilty of black and horrid Sins and Millions of Sins have I been committing daily without Sense Sorrow or Remorse O may such a Sinner as I find Mercy Lord I sometimes doubt and despair and conclude there is no Hopes for me I fear Heaven-Gate is shut against me and though I cry and knock it may all be in vain Lord I cannot bear such a Thought as to think I am rejected forsaken and cast off by thee I e'n cry out with the Jailor What shall I do to be saved What shall I do to obtain Eternal Life I find many comfortable Promises in thy Word to repenting and returning Sinners that those that come to thee thou wilt in no wise cast out and that the Blood of Jesus Christ thy Son cleanseth from all Sins Lord I desire to come to thee and come in a right manner and humbly beg thou wilt not cast me out nor cast me off as one whom thou no more canst love Let me have the Benefit of that healing cleansing Peace-speaking Blood of the Lamb of God which taketh away the Sins of the World I find in thy Word a black Catalogue of Sins and Sinners too who have been guilty of gross Offences whose Crimes would certainly exclude them Heaven unless thy unlimited Mercy and Compassion had inclined thee to look with Pity on them When the Apostle had mentioned those foul and horrid Sins that should deprive poor Souls of the Joys of Heaven he immediately for the Benefit of After-Ages and the Comfort of desponding Souls adds But such were some of you but ye are washed but ye are sanctified but ye are justified in the Name of the Lord Iesus and by the Spirit of our God Lord thou alone knowest what numberless Numbers of Sins I am guilty of and for which e're long I shall be summoned to give a strict and severe Account Lord I have nothing to plead for my self why I should not be condemned but I humbly cast my self at the Throne of thy Grace and implore Mercy Mercy Lord Mercy I need without this I cannot live comfortably nor die safely O let me even me be washed let me be sanctified let me be justified in the Name of the Lord Jesus let me be a Partaker of the Benefits of his Death Resurrection Ascension and Intercession and let me be assured I am one of those that shall live and reign with him World without end In my sorest Distresses and last Agonies and Conflicts let me see thee a God in Covenant and reconciled to me Let not my Evidences for Heaven be then to get When I come to die let me have nothing to do but to die and surrender up my Soul into the Hands of that God who gave it me Let not the Foresight or Prospect of Death be so terrifying as to overwhelm me and cause me to fall from thee Be with me when I pass through the dark and dismal Passage of Death When Flesh Heart and all Creature-Comforts fail and forsake me O Blessed Lord be thou the Strength of my Heart and my Portion for ever-more PAPER XI WORK while it is Day the Night is coming in which none can work Now is the Day of God's Patience and Forbearance this is the only time that God hath allotted for Work and Service He that doth the Work for which he came into the World faithfully and carefully shall in the Evening of the Day receive a bountiful Reward but if he neglects his Opportunity and squanders away his Time in Idleness and Sloth the Night will surprise him and then it will be too late to begin that Work which before he would not be perswaded to set about This Counsel is serious and grave every one hath Work to do O that all would be convinced of this great Truth we have Souls to
save Heaven to secure an Interest in Christ to get and yet we are stupid and negligent as if this were a Matter of no great moment O my God give me Wisdom that I may see the Necessity of looking after my Soul that it may go well with that however it fare with the Body and worldly Concerns Now is the Day now is the Time to provide for a happy Eternity to Day if you will hear his Voice to Morrow may be too late therefore now set about this Work in good earnest see how it stands with thy poor Soul Is God and thy Soul Friends or are they still at a distance Is God dearer to thee than all the World Dost thou think thy self happier in being a Child of God an Heir of Heaven than if thou wert possessed of all the things of this lower World Dost thou not prize and value God as thy Chief Friend and rather have his Favour and Friendship than to have the greatest Monarchs on thy side Dost thou humbly resolve to be the Lord's and his only and that thy Time thy Heart and Strength thy Memory Understanding shall be all exercised in thy Maker's Service Study his Mind and Will and then readily comply with his Commands fear his Threatnings believe his Promises obey his Precepts and resolve with Iob that though he slay thee yet thou wilt trust in him Resolve to follow God through all Difficulties beg of him to own thee for his to avouch thee to be one of his peculiar People Secure a Title to Heaven this World is passing away apace the Day is spending and the Night approaching in which I cannot work I am sensible of the Greatness of my Work and know not how short my Time may be it may be shorter than I or the World imagine My Work is so great and difficult that in my own Strength I can do nothing Lord Jesus I implore thy Aid and Assistance for thy Merit sake let my Sins all be done away let me be sanctified justified pardoned and be made meet to be received into those blessed Mansions that are prepared for thy Redeemed Ones Let me have those Qualifications that are requisite in all those whom thou admittest to live and reign with thee for ever that Holiness of Life that Purity of Heart that Sincerity that Heavenly-mindedness that Weanedness from this World and worldly Injoyments which is required in all those that love and fear thee Let me have those Divine Qualities that may render me amiable in the Eyes of my Judg. O blessed Jesus let thy Righteousness be imputed unto me and my Sins washed away with thy precious Blood Deny me not an Interest in thy meritorious Death and Sufferings I cannot be happy here nor hereafter without some comfortable Hopes that I do belong to the Election of Grace Lord if it be thy Will let me know assuredly that I am one of them for whom Christ died seeing he died for Sinners let me never die in my Sins And as I trust Christ died for me so let thy Holy Spirit live and reign in me Let me be guided directed counselled comforted strengthned and supported the remaining part of my Days that whether they be few or many they may be so spent that when I come to lie upon a sick and Death-bed I may lift up my Head with Joy unspeakable hoping my Redemption draws nigh In my last Agonies be not thou far from me thou art now and I am sure wilt be then my only Hope therefore be not a Terror unto me Let me then find that the Eternal God is my Refuge and that underneath are his everlasting Arms. I do expect to have my Flesh and my Heart within a little while to fail me but Lord be thou the Strength of my Heart and my Portion for ever Lord I hope I have chosen thee long ago for my Portion and am resolved by thy Grace enabling me to stick to my Choice therefore be thou pleased to be with me in my sorest Conflict at the Hour of Death and in the Day of Judgment Let me not then be left by thee or forsaken and rejected by thee the Great Judg of all the World whose irreversable dreadful Sentence will e'r long be pass'd upon all those that forget and neglect thee in which Number I beg I may not be found Seeing Time is posting away and Eternity appoaching and none knows how soon Death may arrest them it is highly necessary to be often considering what will do us most good and stand us most in stead at a dying Hour when this World and all its Injoyments will as Iob saith of the White of an Egg have no Relish nor 〈◊〉 in them When we come to the Brink of Eternity all our earthly Comforts will vanish and disappear our Friends and nearest and dearest Relations will bid as adieu they cannot help us nor hinder Death one Moment Our Riches though we had gained never so much cannot ease one Pain nor find one Remedy for our mortal Disease the Serjeant Death will not be bribed to stay till another Year or Day or Hour no they must be gone nill they will they they must into the other World Let me O Lord be in a Posture of Readiness that when thou shalt summons me to appear before thy dreadful Throne I may not be found naked but may be found in Christ and not in my Sins Let me by every Sabbath Sermon Prayer and Sacrament be brought nearer to thy self whose I am and whom I hope to serve here and injoy hereafter in thy Heavenly Kingdom where are an innumerable Company of Angels and the general Assembly and Church of the First-born which are written in Heaven where is God the Judg of all and the Spirits of just Men made perfect and Jesus the Mediator of the New Covenant and the Blood of Sprinkling that speaketh better things than that of Abel Who can think of these glorious Inhabitants and not long to be with them O happy and blessed Souls are they that are safe got home and are now with God and his Angels and this Assembly and Church of the First-born whose Names were written in Heaven Who would not desire to be with the Spirits of the just Men who are made perfect O the Goodness of God to make Men perfect and then receive them to himself because they are so O what Thanks should be ascribed to our dear Lord Jesus the Mediator of the New Covenant for purchasing at so dear a rate such inestimable Privileges and Blessings for such vile Worms as Men This Blood of Sprinkling cries louder for Mercy than the Blood of Abel did for Vengeance These holy Ones have washed their Robes and made them white in the Blood of the Lamb. The Lamb's Blood can wash the foulest Sinner white therefore are they brought before the Throne of God and serve him Day and Night in his Temple and he that sitteth on the Throne shall dwell among them they shall