deafness to his voice 2. To put us upon more earnest seeking of him 3. To exercise and try our graces God proportions mercies according to his delays they are the greater when given in Sarah tarried long for a Son and then had an Isaac So did Hanna but then had a Samuel So Elizabeth but then had a John my heart rejoyced at this hoping that God would give an high degree of brokenness of heart in his own due time though at present my heart were hard And I remembred how hard Mr. Bradfords heart was once as to his own sense and how eminent he was afterward for tenderness as M. Fox Relates God was very good this day But Oh! how vile and sinful was I I felt a very proud vain-glorious heart both in hearing and after Sermon was done But the Lord chastised me for it For at night when I Preached in the Chappel the Lord forsook me I found no assistance of his Spirit either in Prayer or Preaching but was much confounded in both having little or no sense of the things I spake of or prayed for We read of Naaman 2 King 5. 11. that he expected a Miraculous way of cure I thought said he he will surely come out and stand and call on the Name of the Lord his God and strike his hand over the place and recover the Leper So have I found my self apt to expect that the Spirit of God should mortifie and subdue sin in me without my striving against it But I have learned it is the will of God that I should strive against sin as well as pray and wait for his Spirit Gods working in us to will and to do excludes not our endeavouring Phil. 2. 12 13. Having promises let us cleanse our selves 2 Cor. 7. 1. Octob. 17. I was immoderate in the use of the Creatures and though checked and reproved from within yet I persisted At night when I walked in my Chamber considering what I had done I was sad and said to God Lord I have Rebelled against thee I had no sooner said it in my heart but immediately that word was brought to me Dan. 9. 9. To the Lord our God belong mercies and forgivenesses he will forgive again and again though we have Rebelled against him O the wonderful goodness of God! be amazed O my Soul at this Love Now I saw the promise Isa 65. 24. before they call I will answer and whilst they are yet speaking I will hear made good to me In the evening on my Bed considering on this Love of God whence it should come to pass that the Lord should deal thus graciously with me it was answered me from Mic. 7. 18. He passeth by the transgression of the remnant of his heritage because he delighteth in mercy Next morning at my first awaking the Spirit of God brought that Scripture into my thoughts Ps 65. 3. Iniquities prevail against me as for our trangressions thou shalt purge them away It came to me with some life and power and was very sutable to my Condition Oh the Goodness of God! the Riches of his Grace that he should so soon come into my relief and raise my Soul by his promise this is mercy never to be forgotten Sept. 28. In meditation I found the Lord drawing forth my heart to close with Christ I was convinced that God was willing to bestow his Son upon me because he did not only invite me Isa 55. 1. and Command me 1 Joh. 3. 23. but even beseech and entreat me to receive Christ 2 Cor. 5. 20. I was further convinced of Gods real intention and willingness to give me his Son from his patient waiting and long-suffering in expecting my return even after much deafness to the voice of his Spirit and dallying with his Grace he still offers his Son to me yea he presseth in upon me with the renewing of good motions and affections which I have quenched Now whence is all this but from the Love and mercy of God that he should be thus willing to have me take his Son Now who am I that I should withstand God Why should I forsake my own Mercies Lord thou hast shewn me that my former revoltings shall not hinder this thy mercy if I will acknowledge my sin renounce my self return unto thee and embrace thy Son Jer. 3. 12 13. O Lord I thankfully accept thy offer of Grace I come unto thee Oh give me thy Son behold I give thee my self Let me be Espoused to the Lord Jesus I am willing through grace to take up my Cross to deny my self and to follow thee Nov. 1. Having set apart that day to seek the Lord and to humble my Soul before him I could not get my heart to be afflicted and mourn under sin but found much lightness in Prayer the Lord hid his face and did not come in to my poor Soul with his quickning presence So that I lay in a poor desolate forsaken condition under much confusion yet in the evening a little before going to bed seeking the Lord again I was revived in reading Psal 40. especially v. 17. I am poor and needy yet the Lord thinketh upon me c. and next morning in reading Psal 9. 10. 18. Thou Lord hast not forsaken them that seek thee The needy shall not alway be forgotten the expectation of the poor shall not perish for ever I was thereby encouraged still to wait and hope O Lord I have sought thee withhold not thou thy tender Mercies from me How long wilt thou hide thy face from me O when wilt thou come unto me Make hast to help me O my God I am poor and needy O let me not be forgotten for ever let not my expectation perish for ever and now O Lord what is my expectation It is even this the giving in of mercy and grace through the Lord Jesus pardoning mercy and renewing grace It is the pouring out of thy Spirit the taking away the heart of Stone and giving an heart of flesh it is an heart to know thee to fear thee to love thee and obey thee c. Dec. 6. Being in trouble and distress of Spirit because the Lord hid his face and withdrew himself from me I went in the poverty of my Spirit to Trinity Lecture and with some expectation to meet with God in his own Ordinance The Lord was gracious to me and spake Comfort to me from his Word I see it is good to wait upon God though he send the Rich empty away yet he filleth the hungry with good things My Soul was glad and rejoyced for a season But going into the Country the same day among friends and variety of worldly Affairs I lost something of the savour and relish which the good Word of God left upon me And I found palpably my Soul resting in those Comforts which I had received and growing secure and careless from whence the Lord gave me this Instruction That I am a poor silly wretch knowing neither how
disunion and Separation of the Soul from the body so our spiritual life results from the Souls Union with Christ and spiritual death is our separation from him Now I feel my self as a poor withered branch cut off from this Vine unacquainted with the actings of this Spiritual life as living by faith Serving God in Spirit Mortifying Sin by the Spirit walking in the Spirit loving God above all things and seeking his Glory in all things I have sometimes Prayed against sin resolving against it striven with it avoided occasions thereto all which a natural man may do but sin hath returned upon me and overcome me How to fetch power from Christs death to mortifie sin how to believe in God for subduing it how to do it by the Spirit these have been mysteries to me Lord When shall the day dawn and the Day-Star arise in my heart When shall the Day-spring from on high visit my Soul to give light to him that sits in darkness and in the shadow of death Come Lord Jesus thou light of life Come quickly That which kept me a long time from resolving to give up my whole heart to God in Covenant was a fear that I should break my Covenant and so double my sin But I perceive since that this was but Satans policy to keep my heart from God and the true ground of my not doing this was not conscienciousness of sin as Satan once made me believe but a loathness to part with all sin and to serve God with all my heart A Strong encouragement thou hast O my Soul to enter Covenant with God to serve him with thy whole heart from that portion of his Word which thou didst read this morning May. 11. 1654. in Jer. 30. 21 22. Who is this that engaged his heart to approach unto me saith the Lord Ye shall be my people and I will be your God Since my Covenanting with God I come to see more fully the truth of that place Rom. 8. 7. The carnal mind is enmity against God is not subject to the Law of God neither indeed can be For I find a Loathness to walk closely with God yea under a profession of Religion my carnal heart hath been at enmity to the power and life of it and this enmity hath lyen hid under and been covered with a performance of some duties which have not been destructive to that evil principle that hath lived in me Yea I find my carnal heart is hungring after the flesh-pots of Egypt after its old delights and sinful pleasures is ready to murmur against God in the wilderness and speaks of returning into Egypt and being impatient of the cross it revolts from God many a time and seeks relief and contentment from the creature Since my Covenanting with God I see more of thee treachery and hypocrisie of my heart I found my Soul for a while more tender of Sin and my heart seemingly engaged to serve the Lord. but I soon forgot the covenant that I had made and in a short space I did not find that my Covenanting had any influence on my heart or life So that I see I did but flatter the Lord with my mouth and lyed unto him with my tongue for my heart was not right with him neither was I stedfast in his Covenant Ps 78. 36 37. My unstedfastness in my Covenant with the Lord did arise as far as I perceive from these two grounds 1. My heart was not right with God when I made it there was not that inward cordial full resolution to part with all Sin and that for ever from an antipathy to it and dislike of it neither that inward resolution of cleaving to God to have him my All in All to take all my contentment and joy in him and to seek it in nothing else which should have been 2. I neglected my watch and did not as I should renew my Covenant often and engage my heart to walk with God and while I was slothful and negligent my heart was stolen away by the Devil and the World and is now in league again with Sin Lord make me upright and clear up to me my Sincerity Search me and try me and let me know the bottom of my heart Keep me upon my watch and guard that I may keep my Covenant Jul. 23. The Lord did awaken my Consience to such a sense of my sin and lost estate in the reading and hearing of his Word that when I went to Prayer I was before him as a lost creature being under wrath and the sentence of death lying in my blood and pollution Now whereas before I found my heart carried out in begging Sanctification I did now cry to God for the blood of Christ to wash away the guilt of my sin I did not before prize Justifying Grace so as now in some weak measure I was made to doe But I soon found an accursed hard heart in a little time I did not tremble at the wrath of God I have laboured to work these convictions upon my heart but I found such a roving heart such a slighty heart so possest with vanity that nothing would abide with it Lord unless thou savest me for thy mercies sake I perish Aug. 6. being Sabbath day In meditation on 1 Joh. 3. 23. This is his commandment that we should believe on the Name of his Son Jesus Christ Considering with my self what this did imply viz. not only a relying upon God in Christ for the remission of Sin but for the pouring out of the Spirit Joh. 7. 38 39. which Spirit when it is given will shed abroad the love of God in our hearts Rom. 5. 5. and seal up the assurance of the remission of our sins and witness our addoption Rom. 8 16. will mortifie sin in us v. 13. and work all the works of God in us and for us all which I want and to which I haven been a long time convinced that I am unable And Considering further that this Spirit is the free gift of God Ps 51. 12. given not according to our works but of free mercy for the sake of Christ Tit. 3. 4. 5 6. And considering further that Jesus Christ had received Gifts of which the Gift of the Spirit is intended even for the rebellious that God might dwell among them Ps 68. 18. I found my heart encouraged to wait upon the Lord for the pouring forth of his Spirit upon me that I might have my heart renewed and sanctified and the remission of my sins sealed up to my Soul Afterwards considering further that the way whereby a poor soul that hath lost Gods image comes to be renewed in heart and mind and made partaker of the divine nature is by faith in the promises 2 Pet. 1. 4. and observing how Isaac who inherits the blessing was not born by the strength of Nature but by promise and as Isaac was born through the promise so are all believers Gal. 4. 28. not of the will of man
but of God Joh. 1. 13. and that God giveth power to the faint and strength to them that have no might in a way of waiting Isa 40. 29 31. I saw from these considerations further ground of hope and waiting upon God notwithstanding I find my strength perished from me Neither shall the guilt of my Sin discourage me from waiting on God from expecting of his Holy Spirit from going to Christ The whole need not a Physitian Christ deales with Sinners Mar. 2. 17. He hath said he will in no wise cast out them that come to him Joh. 6. 37. why did he shed his blood to wash away our sins How is he the Lamb of God that taketh away the sins of the world if he should cast off guilty Souls when they come unto him Is there not a fountain opened for sin and for uncleanness to wash in Zach. 13. 1. What though I be in my blood yet if I go to Christ he will not loath me Ezek. 16. 6 8. but will sprinkle clean water upon me and wash me from my filthyness Ezek. 36. 25. When therefore I find guilt upon me I will look to Jesus Christ in such promises as these Isa 1. 18. 43. 25 26. 44. 21 22. I will cry unto him that I may have the pardon of my sin Sealed up to my Soul in these promises by his Holy Spirit Neither shall my rebellious heart the perverseness and corruption of my Nature discourage me but I will with David beg a new heart and a right Spirit Ps 51. 10. I will say as Ephraim Jer. 31. 18. Turn thou me and I shall be turned God hath sent Christ to bless us in turning us from our iniquities Act. 3. 26. and to destroy what Satan hath wrought in us 1. Joh. 3. 8. therefore when I feel sin prevail and lead me captive I will with Paul cry out of this body of death Rom. 7. 24. and go to God in Jesus Christ through such promises as these Mic. 7. 18 19. Rom. 6. 14. Math. 11. 28. Isa 45. 22. Jer. 31. 33. Ezek. 36. 26. When I feel my self graceless I will look to him who is full of grace Joh. 1. 14. 16. and hath promised to give grace Ps 84. 11 even an heart to love him Deut. 30. 6. and to put his fear into us Jer. 32. 40. and to withhold no good thing if we endeavour to walk uprightly before him Ps 84. 11. When I find the plague of an hard dead heart upon me I will look unto the Lord who quickens the dead Rom. 4. 17. and can raise Children to Abraham out of Stones Math. 3. 9. I will look unto him in his Covenant promising to take away the heart of Stone and to give an heart of flesh Ezek. 36. 26. In time of desertion when God withdraws the comfortable influences of his presence I will not be discouraged but I will search my heart and try my ways and see what cause I have given the Lord to depart from me Lam. 3. 40. Josh 7. 11. 12 13. Isa 59. 2. I will earnestly seek the Lord that he would return and shine upon me and lift up the light of his countenance upon my Soul Ps 80. 3. 89. 46. Hos 5. 15. I will not only pray but wait for his return Ps 130. 5 6. Isa 8. 17. Lam. 3. 2 3. c. with 26. and in waiting I will look unto the Lord in these or like promises Ps 103. 8 9. Isa 54. 6 7 8. 57. 16 17 18. Lam. 3. 31 32. Hos 6. 1 2 3. Joh. 14. 18. When I have neglected my watch and fallen and been unstedfast in Covenant with God I will not despair but look to God in Christ that he would pardon my sin grant me repentance and restore me The Covenant of grace admits of repentance after sin Levit. 26. 21. 40. 41 42. Yea God hath exalted Christ to give repentance Act. 5. 31. hath promised to heal back-slidings Hos 14. 4. invites backsliders to return Jer. 3. 1 12 13 14. How did David behave himself when Iniquities prevailed over him He goeth to God to purge away his transgression Ps 65. 3. he maketh Supplication to God that he would not cast him out of his presence Ps 51. 11. he confesseth his sin and God pardons him Ps 32. 5. which should encourage all the Godly when they have fallen to return to the Lord ver 6. St. John layeth strict charge upon Believers that they sin not but in case of Sin he would not have them despair 1 Joh. 2. 1 2. Solomon prayed to this purpose 1 Kings 8. and God accepted ch 9 3. When therefore thou hast fallen O my Soul by thine iniquity and God hid his face and withdraws his gracious presence let thy uncircumcised heart be humbled accept of the punishment of thy sin Turn unto the Lord and and say Take away all iniquity and receive me graciously So will I praise thee Lev. 26. 41. Hos 14. 2. Let not thy falls cause thee to depart from the Living God Though thou hast played the harlot with many Lovers yet the Lord calleth thee to return Jer. 3. 1. God commands us to forgive our Brother seven times a day if he return and repent Luk. 17. 4. yea not only seven times but seventy times seven Math. 18. 21 22. And will not God much more forgive us though we fall oft if we return and seek his face Seeing his ways are far above our ways Isa 55. 7 9. Dec. 9. 1655. Having found much formality in my duties on the Sabbath and seeing my self lost in them I put the question to my Soul what if thou die this night What is thy hope How wilt thou appear before God Righteousness of thine own thou hast none to trust to thou seest how thou sinnest every day and how full of sin thy best duties are Upon this enquiry the good Spirit of God brought to my remembrance 1 Cor. 1. 30. God hath made Christ Righteousness to us and Jer. 23. 6. This is the Name by which he shall be called The Lord our Righteousness which was comfort to me and enquiring what warrant I had to believe my self to be a sharer in this Righteousness and that I stand accepted of God by vertue of this Righteousness I saw from Rom. 3. 21 22. that this Righteousness is upon all that believe Now through the Lords goodness and to his Praise be it spoken I have oftimes found my heart not only to long after pardon and renovation but to trust in Christ and in God through him for pardoning mercy and renewing grace and all other good things Dec. 16. I found the Lord graciously present with me in my morning meditation on my Bed And my Soul was much refreshed with Mr. Simond's Sermon God spake a sutable word by him to my Soul from Mat. 15. 23. But he answered her not a word God may sometimes defer to give an Answer to a gracious and well qualified Prayer 1. To correct our
to want nor how to abound apt to murmur and repine in Straits and to be lifted up and grow secure in Enlargements O Lord in every Condition I need thy grace to teach me how to behave my self O shew me thy way and lead me therein for thy Name-sake Also the Lord taught me hence that I ought to be patient under his hand when he hideth his Face and to resign up my will to his Will inasmuch as I do not know what is good for my self The Lord seeth I should be worse it may be if I enjoyed more than I do and therefore in wisdom and mercy he keeps me in a low Condition My confusion sometimes hath been so great that I have been so unsetled and at such a loss in my Soul that I knew not what to do all former workings have been questioned and judged as nothing In the hour of such temptation the Lord taught me besides Prayer and searching into my Soul to have recourse to former experiences Psal 77. 10 11. and Psal 85. Octob. 11. In the morning I bewailed it before God that I was still at a loss to know whether I loved him and after Prayer I read 1 Joh. 2 ch and I was made in a more special manner to take notice of v. 5. Whoso keepeth his word in him verily is the love of God perfected Me-thought I saw God Answering my Prayer and telling me out of this word that I loved him In him verily 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 it is a sure sign of Love to God we need not doubt of it if we keep his Word Now if I know my own heart I desire to do so if the Love of God be perfected in him that keeps his Word then surely it is begun in him that desires and endeavours to keep his Word Jan. 25. The Lord helped me with Tears to bewall mine abominations even my Original and actual sins my formality Earthliness alienation from him c. therein he did remember and fulfil that gracious promise Ezek. 36. 31. I found Godly sorrow sweet not only in the root and fountain thereof it being a Covenant blessing but in the very Actings of it Feb. 2. In the Evening upon my Bed the Lord did graciously melt my heart in the sight of sin under this Consideration that it was against infinite Love I was ashamed confounded and abashed because I had so long slighted neglected Rebelled against a God of Love My Soul even trembled at it Jan. 15. 1655. Having been the day before with one under great Temptations and hearing of another under a wounded Spirit my heart was melted in Prayer whilst I was praising God for his long patience in the days of my sinning and his tenderness and gentleness towards me in my Conversion Jan. 16. I found my heart drawn out to a recumbence on Jesus Christ The Spirit saith Come Rev. 22. 17. Christ saith Come Joh. 7. 37. And the Father saith Come Mat. 22. 4. And who am I O Lord that I should gainsay such Invitations Behold O Lord I come and put my trust in thee Jan. 26. I Preached twice and had very gracious assistance much beyond expectation in the week before I was much indisposed and could not get my heart to a setled meditation of what I was to speak I was under a great sense of my impotency and laboured in the fire till Saturday Afternoon when I cried to the Lord he was gracious to me and Answered me After my work was over I was much assaulted with Spiritual Pride I saw plainly the reason of Gods delaying his Assistance and giving me such sense of my weakness was to keep me humble Every way O Lord I see my own vileness when thou withdrawest from me then my heart dieth and my strength fails and I am ready to be froward When thou enlargest me then I am ready to be puffed up Oh pardon and purge away all my sin for thy Names sake Mar. 23. In Singing the 15 th Psalm I found Comfort my Conscience bearing me witness that I laboured after those things which are set down as Characters of a Citizen of the New Jerusalem Sept. 28. I had sweet Meditations upon my Bed I found God in my morning Prayer also in private and assistance in Preaching but not such an influence of the Spirit in publick Prayer as I have sometimes found Yet I had begged of God that he would give me his presence in publick as a token that he accepted of me and my work but he withdrew I feared hereupon that I had tempted God and sinned in begging new signs of his favour when I had had such great experience of his goodness many times before Lord forgive the sin of thy Servant Nov. 23. Examining my self about a work of Grace I had some Comfort from Ps 40. 8. Delight in doing the will of God is an Argument of the Law written in the heart Now I found that I had a delight especially in some duties as visiting the Sick comforting of distressed Consciences c. I was somewhat terrified from that word in Job ch 42. 7. I was afraid least in my Preaching I should sometimes speak those things of God that were not right and soon after going to Prayer I was in time of Prayer comforted from Joh. 16. 13. The Spirit shall guide you into all truth Dec. 7. I found the Lord very much Answering my Prayer in giving very gracious and powerful Assistance both in Prayer and Preaching at Trinity Lecture on Sabbath day I may say as Jaber 1 Chron. 4. 10. who said Oh that thou wouldest bless me indeed and be with me And God granted my request The next morning there came a woman to me and said she was troubled at the Sermon that she could scarce sleep all night for she bad not gone so far as the Scribes and Pharisees and that which added to the mercy was God kept me humble after this enlargement Mar. 31. 1657. I had a very evident Answer of Prayer I was at a pinch for some money I begged of God that I might be supplied and that Afternoon one to whom I had lent a little money brought it me which was enough for my present necessities the Circumstances were very remarkable I sought the Lord also to be with the Parish in the choice of their Church-Wardens and there were those two chosen whom if I had had the Nomination I should have chosen my self Apr. 21. I kept a day of Fast to the Lord. I found God graciously with me in Prayer the chief thing that I propounded was to seek direction as to my Preaching on Week-days Among other things I begged of God a supply of my wants being in some straits for want of money That very night one brought me 10 s. for Preaching a Funeral Sermon which I expected not and the next morning the Church-Wardens of St. Andrews Parish brought me 7 l. and upwards whereby I was sufficiently supplied I could not but take notice of
sufficient to resist and overcome my sins yet Gods grace was sufficient Paul was insufficient to any good of himself as I am 2 Cor. 3. 5. He had a body of sin and death as well as I Rom. 7. 23. 24. and Satan assaulted him here as well as me and therefore if Gods grace was sufficient for Paul why not for me also what God spake to Paul I applied as spoken to me according to Math. 22. 31 32. Christ saith what was spoken by God to Moses was spoken to them though many hundered years after Moses Dec. 10. I had about a month before made though not a formal explicit vow yet a kind of mental implicit vow which I broke and being under the sense of guilt was revived by reading a passage concerning David in Mr. Harris his works p. 490. Who would ever have thought that so many afflictions as David had Suffered so many mercies as he had received so many vows as he had made so many pieces of Holy Scripture as he had proved c. should not have made him an whole man Who would have dreamed that after all this so many dregs of adultery of treachery of murder should have been left remaining in him Yet when David remitted his watch over his own heart how foully did he fall I was also much comforted against the sense of my sin from Isa 54. 9. This is as the waters of Noah unto me for as I have sworn that the waters of Noah should no more go over the earth So have I sworn that I would not be wroth with thee nor rebuke thee I looked upon my self as entitled to this promise by vertue of what is said v. 17. This is the heritage of the Servants of the Lord. I considered further that the Covenant which God made with Noah and was confirmed with an Oath was made with a Non obstante multiplici peccato hominis with a promise it should stand valid notwithstanding the imaginations of the heart of man are evil from his youth Gen. 8. 21. I considered further that notwithstanding the Covenant with Noah there might be immoderate rains which might prove a great affliction though there should not be a Universal deluge So notwithstanding this Oath of God and his Covenant with me I might meet with temporary afflictions but I should by vertue of the Covenant be delivered from eternal wrath Blessed be God This Scripture did much revive and comfort my Soul Notwithstanding all this goodness of God I found my heart still manifesting its in-bred corruption and I was foiled again by my sin which did much cast me down and being to draw nigh to God at the Lords Table I was much discouraged but before the Sabbath came I was in Prayer revived with Isa 53. 5 6. and in conference by Mat. 11. 28. I found I was in a labouring condition and such Christ invited and also from Psal 65. 3 4. David when he found iniquity prevailing did yet conclude that upon his approaching to God in his Ordinances he should be satisfied In reading Luke 8. 27. 30. I was encouraged to hope that the Lord Jesus would disposses and cast out my sins out of my Soul though they were many and had possessed me a long time For it is as easie for Christ to cast a sin as to cast a Devil out Mar. 25. 1666. Being Lords day and the first day the Oxford Act for removing of Non-Conformists from the places where they had been Ministers and from Corporations took place In the morning as I lay in my Bed pondering on this Providence these Scriptures came to mind Heb. 13. 14. Here have we no continuing City but we seek one to come Whence I was instructed that the mind of God in this unsetling Providence as to my abode here was to stir me up to seek more industriously after the Kingdom of Heaven Jer. 48. 11. Moab hath been a ease and he hath setled on his lees and hath not been emptied from vessel to vessel neither hath gone into Captivity therefore his tast remained in him and his scent is not changed I learned hence that the design of God in this Providence was to take me off from Carnal ease and security and setling upon the lees of any sinful course and to purge away that tang and scent of sin which yet remaineth in me Psal 55. 19. Because they have no changes therefore they fear not God Whence I saw that this change was to promote a greater awe and dread of God upon my Soul The Lord great that this Providence may have these effects upon me Apr. 8. The Lord warned me to take heed how I presumed to sin against him upon the account of any mercies and favours he had bestowed upon me or upon the account of any gifts or graces given me from 2 Pet. 2. 4. If God spared not the Angels that sinned but cast them down to hell The Angels had been partakers of great goodness God had done great things for them placed them in Heaven yet when they sinned he did not spare them but cast them down to Hell O my Soul be not high minded do not presume to sin against God but fear to offend him Apr. 15. Corruption having prevailed I was indisposed to pray and could not meditate After I had been praying a second time though with much flatness and distraction God graciously revived my Soul with Rom. 7. 23. 25. and 8. 1. Apr. 21. In the like case God revived me with Isa 43. 24 25. May. 2. In the like case I was encouraged from 1 Sam. 12. 20. 22. and from Jer. 31. 37. Soon after I renewed my Covenant with God yet quickly found my Treacherous heart departing from God and revolting and relapsing to sin Yet still God Comforted me with his Word Jer. 31. 31 32 33 34. and Rom. 14. 4. He shall be holden up for God is able to make him stand It is spoken of him that is weak in the Faith v. 1. and encouraged me to hope for the acceptation of my Person and Services from Isa 56. 6 7. Nov. 23. Being a day of private humiliation for my unprofitableness under my afflictions sighing under my incorrigibleness God minded me of Jer. 31. 18. 20. which much refreshed me and strengthened my Faith Blessed be God Jan. 1. Having some days before felt much of the sinfulness and filthiness of my own heart sin not only arising but leading me Captive I was afraid that because of my sinfulness God being most holy would cast me out of his favour But the Lord instructed me from Psal 89. 30 31 32 33 34 35. that his holiness should not deter me from expecting the accomplishment of his promises but rather encourage me to hope For God hath sworn by his Holiness that he would not take away his Loving-kindness nor break his Covenant c. notwithstanding he found sin Jan. 7. It was a sutable word to my state and that which afforded me some support which I
even as to them he hath abolished Death and brought life and immortality to light 2 Tim. 1. 10. Saith Christ Rev. 1. 18. I am he that liveth and was dead and behold I am alive for evermore Amen and have the keyes of Hell and Death The keyes are the Ensign of power Christ by his resurrection hath obtained authority over Death to quicken whom he pleaseth to shut and open the grave And his promise is to exercise this power for his people Joh. 6. 44. I will raise him up at the last day Hos 13. 14. I will ransome them from the power of the grave I will redeem them from death Notwithstanding all the improbabilities yea impossibilities in Nature yet he saith to them as to Cyrus Isa 54. 2. I will go before thee and break in pieces the Gates of Brass and cut in sunder the barrs of Iron On which account St. Peter begins his Epistle v. 3. with thanksgiving Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ which according to his abundant mercy hath begotten us again unto a lively hope i. e. hope of eternal life as v. 4. by the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the Dead It is observable what the Apostle saith here he hath begotten us by the Resurrection of Jesus Christ The Resurrection of Jesus Christ hath a secret generating influence upon the Resurrection of the Saints who are therefore called by our Saviour Luke 20. 36. The Children of the Resurrection which leadeth to 3. This Victory becomes the believers by participation and Communion with Him They communicate with him in the value of his satisfaction and they communicate with him in the vertue of his Resurrection 1. They communicate with him in the value of his Satisfaction whereby the sting of Death is taken out as to them to wit the guilt of sin done away By the Covenant of Redemption between the Father and Christ it was eternally agreed that Christ should be their Surrogate Substitute and Surety to undertake for them in their nature Joh. 10. 18. No man taketh my life from me but I lay it down of my self there is Christs Consent This Commandment have I received of my Father there 's the Fathers Consent So Hebr. 10. 7. Then said I Lo I come to do thy will O God Accordingly he became man and our surety and thereby one with us in the Sense of the Law as the principal debtor and Surety are looked upon as one person in Law Thus our debt became his debt he was bound for us and saith to his Father on our behalf as Judah to Joseph on the behalf of Benjamin Gen. 44. 32. 33. Thy Servant became Surety for the lad unto my Father Now therefore I pray thee let thy Servant abide in stead of the lad a bondman to my Lord And the punishment due to us became his Isa 53. 4 5. Surely he hath born our greifs and carried our Sorrows He was wounded for our transgressions he was bruised for our iniquities c. And thus by vertue of the same Suretyship when he had undergone the punishment and Satisfied the Law and taken his discharge which was testified by his Resurrection His Satisfaction becomes our Satisfaction and his discharge our discharge Jer. 23. 6. He is the Lord our Righteousness Gal. 3. 13. Christ hath redeemed us from the Curse of the Law being made a Curse for us Rom. 8. 33 34. Who shall lay any thing to the charge of Gods elect Who is he that Condemneth It is Christ that died yea rather that is risen again No Law doth demand both of the principal and the Surety too They are bound to pay disjunctively one or the other Therefore when Christ was apprehended he said to the Officers that took him Joh. 18. 8. If ye seek me let these my disciples go their way 2. They communicate with him in the vertue of his Resurrection Christ rose from the dead not only as a surety discharged from prison when he had paid the debt and thereby cancelling the obligation of the principal but also as a vital head to quicken and raise all his body the Church For the same Spirit of life which is in Christ and quickened his dead body is also in the church and in every particular member thereof and will certainly quicken their dead bodies Rom. 8. 11. If the Spirit of him that raised up Jesus from the dead dwell in you he that raised up Christ from the dead shall also quicken your mortal bodies by or because of his Spirit that dwelleth in you He saith not your dead bodies but your mortal bodies to denote this quickening to be not only from death to life but from mortality to immortality as was the resurrection of Christ He that eateth me saith Christ Joh. 6. 5 7. that is by faith there is union with Christ even he shall live by me there is communion with Christ as necessarily consequent And what that life is he expresseth four times in that chap. ver 39 40 44 54. I will raise him up at the last day Hence Christ is said to be our life Col. 3. 4. and we are said to be quickened with Christ Col. 2. 13. and risen with Christ Eph. 2. 6. It is from the vertue of Christs Resurrection that Job argueth to his own Job 19. 25 26. I know that my Redeemer liveth c. And though after my skin worms destroy this body yet in my flesh shall I see God And this is the argument which the Apostles so industriously improves throughout this Chapter assuring the Resurrection of believers by the Resurrection of Christ Christ rose as the first-fruits of them that sleep which sanctifieth and assureth the whole harvest ver 20. If the first Adam dying derived Death to all his natural seed much more shall the second Adam rising communicate life to all his Spiritual seed ver 22. yea such intimate and necessary connexion is there between the Resurrection of Christ and the Resurrection of believers that the Apostle argueth both forward and backward from the one to the other ver 12 13 16. The Saints then shall one day feel the quickening influences of their vital head upon their dead bodies and experimentally know the power of his Resurrection Recovering them from the power of the grave to rise and live with him for ever Which is so certain that the Apostle speakes of it as already done Eph. 2 6. He hath raised us up Applicat 1. How sad and woful is the Case of unbelievers who have no share in this Glorious and Blessed Victory no interest in the satisfaction and Resurrection of this Prince of life but are left to shift for themselves alone all forlornly exposed to the invincible Assaults of the King of Terrors Do they not tremble at a distance at the fore-thoughts of that dark and dismal hour when this spoiling destroying abhorred and dreadful Enemy shall surprize them and peremptorily require their precious life beyond all denial