must not now pass from me I may imitate my dear Saviour in the like circumstances chearfully saying Father not my will but thine be done The arguments I have â—uk 22. 42. used are weighty and serious sufficient to convince my judgment stop my mouth and make me silent but after all O pity pardon and help me I find I am backward and loth to die now Lord make me content content that 's too little make me desirous to die and to die now God forbid that after all my Soul should be violently rent and torn from me Lord Let me have such a firm belief of a future happiness such lively hopes and clear evidences of my right and title to it such a burning and flaming love to thee my God to thee my Saviour such pleasing foretasts of Heavenly joys such a reviving prospect of that glorious future state that I might overcome the fears of Death the terrors of the Grave and Triumph over both That I may long and pant desire groan and wish to be with Christ which I must and do acknowledge to be far better Lord inspire my departing Soul with that Faith Hope and Love that I may now glorifie Thee credit Religion and commend thy holy Ways that I may strengthen the weak and encourage the fearful by a chearful and willing comfortable and triumphant departure Sanctifie these afflictions and pains and this present sickness to me and let them put me upon longing after Heaven where are none answer my doubts expel my fears arm and fortifie comfort and encourage my weak drooping and trembling Soul and the nearer I draw to my end the more warm and earnest let my desires be Oh for thy holy Spirit to excite those Heavenly and Spiritual desires in me which I cannot raise in my self O thou almighty and victorious Jesus who hast conquer'd Death and the Grave enable me in these my last moments to triumph over them saying O DEATH where is thy Sting O GRAVE where is 1 Cor. 15. 55. thy victory Many experiences have I had of thy Grace and Mercy love and kindness O my Saviour forsake me not now in this my last extremity O Blessed Jesu who hast been my support and help in Life be my Strength my Comfort and my Joy at Death While in this my last sickness I have been speaking sometimes to my self and sometimes unto God I have obtain'd the Mercy I wanted and laboured after a willingness to die now my doubts are answered my fears remov'd my sins are pardoned God is reconciled my Conscience pacified my hopes are lively my evidences clear my assurance strong and my joy full and now thanks be to God how do I long to dye shall I be afraid of Death What! of a baffled vanquisht and conquer'd Enemy I am not I was but now blessed be God I am not Am I a Member of Christ a Son of God an Heir of Heaven and shall I be afraid of thee O Death through Grace O mine Enemy I am not Methinks I am already in the Suburbs of Heaven and I long to enter into that holy City I have a prospect of yonder blessed World and this prospect is so ravishing and transporting that I wish for a present possession No Heir ever longed more for his Inheritance no Captive ever longed more for Liberty no sick and pained man ever longed more for ease than I now do for Heaven When I am there what charming musick shall I hear what glorious sights shall I behold what blessed and delightful company shall I have what joy will enter into possess and fill this Soul of mine what a Mansion of Light and Glory shall I enter into when I have put off this earthly Tabernacle how does a thought of this make my fettered and yet imprisoned Soul cry out How long Lord how long farewel vain World farewel not Earth but Heaven is my home and I long groan and wish to be there Is the time of my departure at hand Is the time come that I must die Lord I do submit thy holy will be done My Body I chearfully bequeath unto the dust O faithful grave keep what I commit unto thee this Body till my Lord shall come and then deliver it up In the dust shall this flesh of mine sleep and rest in hope My Soul my pretious and immortal Soul O my God I resign to thee into thine hand I commit my Spirit Thou Psal 31. 5. hast redeemed me O Lord God of truth Father into 〈◊〉 â—ands I commit my Spirit Lord Luk. 23. 46. Acts 7. 59. Jesus 〈…〉 Must I die now Lord 〈◊〉 in thy will believing thy promise trusting in thy mercy thro' the ALL-SUFFICIENT MERITS of thy Son and my Saviour I wait wait Lord I long for the happy moment And my last Petition and dying prayer shall be Come Lord Jesus come qickly Rev. 22. 20. 1 Thes 4. 17. that I might be for ever with the Lord come Lord Jesus come quickly Amen Amen FINIS
be unthankful for the mercies of many For the mercies of my whole life Oh how evil and criminal would this be my flesh is pain'd my affliction great my sick-bed uneasie and the hand of God presseth me sore my tears and sorrows my innocent groans which I hope are only the voice of oppressed nature pierce the hearts and draw tears from the eyes of my dear Relations but yet O my Soul I charge thee by all that is solemn and sacred let there not be a murmuring thought a repining word or any peevish carriage Remember remember the days of Old the mercies of former times and be thankful Thy God hath been good is and will be so and be thou ALL LOVE and PRAISE Was it not God who form'd and fashion'd me in the Womb and brought me forth into the light with an entire and perfect body Were not all my members Ps 139. 16. written in his book and did not he watch over my substance while it was yet imperfect and did not he take care I should not be be born out of due time Was it not 1 Cor. 15. 8. he who appointed when where and of whom I should be born and did not he order all the circumstances of my birth in the best manner When I was a poor helpless infant when I hung on my Mothers breast and lay in my cradle did not he take the care of me Did not his providence watch over me in my Childhood and prevent many unknown and unseen dangers Did noâ— he in my youth keep me from the many evils which in that ungoverned age I was exposed to and might have brought upon my self Has not his careful eye been upon me from my first moments even until now how pretious are thy thoughts unto me O Ps 139 17. God! How great is the sum of them Was it not of God I had the happiness to be born of Religious Parents who set before me a good example wept over and prayed for me That I had seasonable instructions wholsome counsels and the benefit of a vertuous education in my first and early years Was it not he that restrained and with-held me from those sins and lusts which many are overtaken withal and I my self was in danger of in that age of folly and vanity Hath not he fed and cloathed provided for and defended me Been my refuge in a storm my sanctuary in a time of danger my deliverer in an evil day and my Physitian in sickness How oft hath he brought me out of the fiery furnace raised me from a sick bed renewed my strength and saved me from going down to the pit when in my own and others apprehension I was at the mouth of and ready to drop into it hath not he supplied my wants increased my substance blest my endeavours and given me a considerable portion of this Worlds goods Is it not of him I have Friends and Relations to be a comfort to me while others have none or such as are worse than none even a cross and a scourge to them Hath not his Arm upheld his power defended his mercy succoured his bounty supplyed his treasuries enricht me Hath not his providence been ever watchful over me and his holy Angels my constant and perpetual life-guard When in my affliction and pain I have cryed to him hath he not heard my groans regarded my tears answered my prayers in the fittest season and best manner eased or supported me removed my burden or given me strength and so ordered the affliction from first to last that I have been forc't to say Lord it is good for me I have been afflicted Psal 119. â—1 I have not only had the mercies of the left hand but those of the right not only temporal but Spiritual not only for a perishing body but more and greater for an immortal Soul Thanks be to God that he quickened and raised me when I was dead in Trespasses and Sins Eph. 2. 1. that he brought me to hear his Holy word and made it effectual for my conviction and conversion that the same word which was to others the savour of Death unto Death to me was the savour 2 Cor. 2. 16. of Life to Life That the same Word the same Blessed Gospel which blinded them enlightned me which left them in their sins and under the power of Satan brought me home to God for this thy special grace and mercy to my Soul Lord I do I will and hope I shall for ever bless thee Who or what am I What have I done or what can I do That I should be chosen and effectually called when others are not Lord Why didst thou call and convert me and not another me and not my Neighbour me and not him who sate in the same pew heard the same Sermon and for many years attended upon the same ministry Free grace distinguishing mercy differencing love Am I converted changed sanctified and pardon'd Lord I do I will admire and adore thy powerful and victorious grace Awake O my Soul awake prepare a song Oh love and bless and praise thy God I was an Apostate wretch a stubborn enemy a disloyal Rebel and it was a long time before I would lay down my weapons return to my duty and yield patience waited mercy invited ministers exhorted the Spirit pleaded conscience urged God expostulated with yearning bowels the Blessed Jesus called to me from Heaven and beseeched me by his wounds and tears blood-shed passion and death to be reconciled to God but I vile wretch that I was did not hear How many reproofs and counsels warnings and exhortations earnest pleadings and pathetick Sermons were lost upon me And blessed be God all were not that one did the work Did God convert me after many Sabbaths enjoyed and many Sermons heard in vain Infinite kindness Lord I bow and worship before thee and with all the powers of my immortal Spirit bless and praise thee Was it not God pityed me when I did not pity my self Who called after and stopt me when I was running head-long to Hell Who loosed my chains broke my bonds knockt off my setters and brought me out of the House of bondage Was it not he who with a mighty power and stretched-out arm delivered and rescued me when sin ruled and govern'd and Satan led me in triumph as his vassal and captive And shall not I though a sick and pained man adore and bless him Bless him I do I will Bless the Lord O my Soul Ps 103. 2. And all that is withim me bless his Holy Name Since my Conversion and becoming a new man since God took me into his family adopted and made me his Son how much and what great things have been done for me what sweet and ravishing Communion have I had in holy duties publick and private in the assembly of Saints and in my Closet what large speedy and remarkable answers of Prayer what a ravishing sense of Divine Love and Favour
pardon and save yonder penitent sinner and shall my prayer backt with the pleadings of that blood be shut out I have now but a little time my glass is almost run the day is far spent the shadows of the evening are stretched out the night will quickly come Lord be not angry if I renew my request urge thee with thy promise and lie at thy foot till I obtain my pardon and Conscience be enabled and authorized to read it I am miserable and without thy pity must be so for ever and Lord I cannot I will not take a denyal I am thine save me In this sickness I have Ps 119 94. been examining my heart searching my ways and I have done it seriously and impartially what sins I have found out I heartily bewail pardon these and those I have not Who can understand his Ps 19. 12. Errors Lord cleanse thou me from secret faults Blessed Jesus thou great friend and lover of Souls from this my sick and death-bed I look up to thee for help and mercy Oh stand my friend now plead my cause now and let me have the pardon thy blood did purchase thou didst die for me thou wast crucifyed for me and thy blood was shed for me and carest thou not if I now perish May thy Tears Mark 4. 38. Wounds and Blood speak and plead for me for I am sure they will be heard if mine cannot within a few days within a few hours I must appear before an Holy Just and Terrible God and I tremble O my Saviour I tremble to think any one unpardoned sin should meet me at that Tribunal Oh procure my pardon for me before I die if Satan meet me there to accuse me I know thou wilt answer him and plead for me But if any one unpardoned sin meet me there it will condemn me and I am lost and lost for ever I am not sinless I have not perfectly obeyed the Law but I am not impenitent To exercise repentance for my sin has been my daily work ever since my first conversion and it has been so particularly in this present sickness My heart hath been turned from the love of sin and now I loath it more than ever there 's nothing troubles afflicts and grieves me so much as sin vile sin cursed sin thou hast cost me more tears sighs and groans than all my pains have done I Repent I Repent Lord I do repent Oh! pity and spare spare and pardon pardon and love love and save me for ever Have mercy upon me according to the multitude of thy tender mercies and blot out Psal 51. 1. all my sin Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven whose sin is covered Blessed is the man unto whom the Lord imputeth not Psal 32. 1 2. iniquity Blessed he and only he is the blessed man though he be a poor man a pained man a sick man a dying man yet he is a blessed man Oh that this blessedness might be mine I am now sick and I have no hope of recovery my body grows weaker and weaker and nature sensibly decays this earthly Tabernacle shakes and it will quickly tumble Death Pale and Grim Death is posting towards me I am near unto eternity but I cannot die I dare not step into the other unseen Eternal World with out a pardon Believing O my God that word of thine that word which to me is of more worth than a thousand Worlds Let the wicked forsake his way and the Psal 55. 7 unrighteous man his thoughts And let him return unto the Lord and he will have mercy upon him and to our God for he will abundantly pardon I beg and through the mediation of thy Christ and my Jesus will expect the pardon of all my sins Let it be unto me according to thy word in which thou hast caused thy Servant to hope Amen IV. Of submission to the Divine will as to the time of our Death Many reasons to persuade to such an holy frame and resigning temper Objections Answered Suitable Petitions The Triumph and last work of FAITH I am now on my last bed this sickness for ought I do or can understand will be unto Death The warrant is issued out the commission sealed I am a dying man every moment that passeth away every clock that strikes every breath I draw every pulse that beats tells me death is near at hand and having given thanks to God for all his mercies having unseignedly repented of all my sin and begged pardon in the name and through â—he blood of Jesus and having now some hope and assurance of it what have I further to do What becomes me as a Christian as a righteous man that hath hope of great and glorious things beyond the grave but to submit to the divine good pleasure and saying The will of the Lord be done What language becomes Acts 21. 14. such an one but this O Lord who art the fountain of Life to all thy Creatures I am thine to live or die when and as thou wilt thou gavest me my Life and it is fit thou shouldst take it from me when thou wilt and as thou pleasest I submit to thy will obey thy summons and I would not live a day an hour a moment longer than God would have me God hath ordered the various circumstances of my Life in the best manner things have been much better with me than if I had been left to my own will and choice and I leave it to this wise and good God to order the circumstances of my Death To die now may be better for me than to live longer and if infinite wisdom judge it so I will readily comply and chearfully put off this Earthly Tabernacle Submissive language happy frame blessed temper thus it ought to be with all but alas how few attain to this nay how do the most even of Christians come far short of it how willing are they to live how loth to die how extremely desirous to stay here how loath to depart how passionately desirous to have a new lease granted when the old one is exspiring and almost out For one that in good earnest says I long I long to die I am willing even now to be dissolved how many with tears in their eyes cry not yet Lord not yet Oh spare me that I may recover Ps 39. 13. strength before I go hence and be no more Thus with shame and sorrow must I confess it hath been with me but in this my present sickness Lord help me to overcome my fears of Death wean me from this vain World mortify my fond affection to this present Life and oh raise and quicken in me holy earnest desires after a better Holy Paul had a desire to depart and be with Christ Oh that Phil. 1. 23. now it might be so with me let me be able to say Lord I accept the punishment of my sin I kiss the rod lie at thy foot submit
Exod. 15. 2. him an Habitation he is my Father's God and I will exalt him Lord may such an one say thou art my God I have been devoted and dedicated to thee and therefore I will love and fear serve and honour trust in and depend on thee more over thou art my Fathers God and my Mothers God and as this strengthens my obligation to so the remembrance of it shall keep me from departing from thee my own God and my Fathers God I will never forsake Do I should such an one often say live walk and act deport and carry my self as one descended from Godly Parents and becoming my Hereditary Relation to God Do I frame my Life and Conversation as becomes the Child the Son the Daughter of such a Father and such a Mother oh how may such a reflection confound shame and put us to the blush fill us with grief sorrow and repentance for what is past and be in slead of many arguments to persuade to more holy strictness circumspection and accuracy for the time to come Further urge and plead this with God when you come to beg Blessings Spiritual or Temporal I know you are not strangers to secret and closet Prayer you do not dare not cannot live without it when you go take this argument along with you The Argument is strong when I can say My God it is stronger when I can go on and say my Father's God David was mov'd to do kindness for Mephibosheth for his Father Jonathan's sake and can we think the Heart and Hand of God will not be open'd to give Mercy to the Posterity of his old Friends How frequently did the Saints of old put God in mind of their holy Ancestors saying remember Abraham Isaac and Jacob. Jehosaphat goes to Prayer with this Title in his Mouth O God the God of our Fathers David pleads this O Lord 2 Chr. 20. 6. I am thy Servant truly I am thy Servant Psal 116. 16. and the Son of thine handmaid Oh how comfortable argumentative and enforcing is it to mind God who we are when we come to his Door for an Alms to say with humble and holy reverence Lord dost thou ask who I am I am thy Servant and a Child too of a dear friend of thine my Father and Mother were thine antient acquaintance Lord don't deny me don't send me away empty for their sake but shew mercy to me My holy Parents were thine thy domestick servants they were brought up and lived in thy family Lord remember I am the Child of such and give me an alms Oh pity and pardon sanctifie and save me oh let not one descended of holy and believing Parents be a cast-away let not me Lord let not me have my portion with hypocrites when Mat. 24. 51. my Holy Father and Godly Mother shall sit down with Abraham Isaac and Jacob in Mat. 8. 11. the Kingdom of God! I am thine Lord. Save me and to enforce my plea for mercy I humbly remember thee my Father was thine and my Mother was thine Lord let me find the benefit of being the off spring of such III. Earnestly sue for the full answer and return of those Prayers they sent up to God for you 'T is one great and unspeakable advantage the Children of holy Parents have that they often recommend them and their case to God Such Prayers may do them good after their decease and that they may their Children should beg a return This now should be your work and mine Many of these Prayers are filed up in the Court above as appears by that saying of my dear Mother to me Oh pray for me for when my Children were young and could not pray for themselves I pray'd for them Thanks be to God for a praying Mother Now send New Prayers after the Old Yours after Hers Oh! suffer not so many warm and earnest Prayers so many speaking tears and pleading groans to be lost for want of suing to Heaven for a rich and speedy return May not each go to a Throne of Grace and say Lord my holy Mother who is now fallen asleep was given to Prayer she was a Friend of thine and had an interest in thee and improv'd it not only for her self but for me How oft I was in her mind and upon her heart in her secret addresses to thee Lord thou knowest Did she not again and again recommend me to thy mercy through the merit of thy dear Son and her Saviour and I hope mine too the Lord Jesus are these Prayers all answered have I all the Grace and Holiness Joy Peace and Comfort she prayed for are not many of these Prayers yet to be answered Are not many of her requests for me yet with God oh now for a quick speedy and full return tho' she be dead let none of her Prayers for me be lost Lord that I could hear thee saying I remember thy Mother a good friend of mine I remember whose Child thou art and I am resolv'd to be kind to thee lo here is the Grace Pardon Peace and Comfort thy Mother prayed for she wrestled pleaded with me and would not let me alone be it unto thee according to her Faith and Prayers Lord may such an one say my Holy Parents spoke to thee on my behalf before I was able to speak for my self how many Prayers did my Holy Father and Godly Mother make for me in my Infancy Childhood and Youth Lord read over and grant those Petitions which are of an antient Date Tho' Death hath tied their Tongues the Grave stopt their Mouths and they can pray no more yet nay the rather let those Prayers be answered that are upon the File and are committed to the Hands and Care of the Blessed Jesus the great Master of Requests Lord Jesus do thou see that none of these be lost but answered in the best time IV. Exercise a serious solemn and hearty Repentance for all sin When I consider our dear and excellent Mother was not taken away by a sudden and surprizing stroke but a long and pining sickness prepared the way that she was not taken off in the midst of her days but lent to us for a considerable number of years that she lived till she saw many of her Children's Children and did not fall asleep nor go to Bed till towards the Evening I would hope there was no particular sin of ours provoked God to remove her at this time But alas we all have many sins and should not such a Providence awaken our Repentance It should it tends that way and I pray God it may Let us search our ways examine our hearts consider what sin or sins have been too much allowed and winked at Sin is the cause of Death to our selves and to those whom we dearly love these these are the murderers of our friends and relations let us send an hue and cry after them and when we have found them out let us Crucifie them Oh
believe a future final and general judgment but I hope may the departing Saint say things will go very well with me in that day I have often pray'd God grant that I may find mercy of the Lord 2 Tim. 1. 18. in that Day and I hope I shall I hope that mercy and not rigorous justice will pronounce my sentence that I shall find a friend in Court that the judge himself will be so that blessed Jesus who is nay Advocate and elder Brother who died for me and washt me in his Blood who Sanctified me by his Spirit and reconciled me to God is to be my Judge and therefore I hope when I am judged I shall not be condemn'd The sentence of absolution stands upon record Mat. 25. 34. Come ye blessed of my Father inherit the Kingdom prepared for you before the Foundation of the World This this Oh! this is the blessed sentence that belongs to me I have read it again and again I have meditated upon it till I have been ravished and transported with joy What sweet what reviving words are these how worthy is each of them of a particular remark Come glorious invitation Ye blessed of my Father endearing title Inherit the Kingdom No less still more joy Prepared for you for me Lord for Worms for Men for Sinners Soveraign Grace Before the Foundation of the World what so long ago so early designed was my name written upon a Mansion above long before any of my members were written in thy Book Grace Grace Lord I admire and adore that love that free and generous and early love of thine I cannot comprehend if the reading and meditating upon these words be so delightful what will it be to hear them spoken and spoken to ME I hope now I am a dying man I hope to hear this Sentence from the Mouth of my Saviour and when these words of Life and Joy shall drop from those sweet and blessed Lips Lord what Joy shall I feel a joy which now I can neither comprehend nor bear Is this the Sentence I expect to hear O my weeping friends stop your flowing tears silence your groans hush those sobs and sighs and let us sing Psalms of praise to God oh begin and help me to praise him and with my latest breath I will say Amen Hallelujah Eighthly The Righteous hath hope in his Death what hath he hope of what of the full entire and eternal happiness of the whole man when the final judgment is past and over Sentence being past judgment being over and the Court broken up all pass to their Eternal abodes some ay and the greatest part too of that vast assembly to the Regions of horrour and darkness beneath others viz. the Righteous to the Mansions of Bliss and Light above Now oh joyful day Christ and all his friends immediately march in triumph to Heaven those everlasting Gates are open'd they all enter into those peaceable quiet and undisturbed Regions and so shall they be for ever with the Lord. 1 Thes 4. 17 Before one part was praising God in Heaven and the other silent in the Grave the Soul was the Companion of Angels the Body the Food of Worms the one as distant from the other as yonder Heaven is from the Bowels of this Earth but after the great and solemn transactions of that day the WHOLE MAN the WHOLE CHRISTIAN shall be admitted into the Heavenly State Christ their head and husband shall bring them to Heaven with a lo O my Father here are the Men thou gavest unto me here are the Men for whom I suffered and died while they were in the World I kept them and have now ransom'd them from the Power of Death and the Grave I have brought them safe to glory I present them to thee without spot or wrinkle and Father I will they be where I am that they may behold and partake of my Glory Joh. 17. 24. This perfect happiness of the whole man the Righteous hath hope of he looks beyond Death to the Resurrection beyond that to judgment and beyond judgment to Heaven and Heaven is the summ of his desires Heaven it is the center of all his hopes and wishes and such an one in his last hours may say methinks I foresee the time when my Lord and the judge of all will come methinks I hear the Trumpet sound and see the dead raised from my death-bed I have a prospect of the transacâ—ious of the last day I see by faith I see what shall then be done to the men whom the King of Heaven delights to honour methinks I see the redeemed and ransom'd of the Lord marching in triumph to the City above and the glorious blessed Jesus leading the way I shall not be left asleep or stay behind but accompany them to the everlasting Kingdom and this Flesh of mine which now must see corruption this body of mine that now must rot in darkness shall then be united to my Soul and not only my Soul but my Body shall have the happiness it is capable of This is my Faith and this is my Hope Come Lord Rev. 22. 20. Jesus come quickly and accomplish what thou hast promised and I and all thy Followers live and die in the hope of Thus we have finished the Doctrinal part and now proceed Fourthly and Lastly To make application of what hath been said upon this argument to our selves The most serious and weighty the most plain and searching the most important and awakening truths have little or no influence upon our hearts and lives for want of a close warm home and particular application Shall I apply what hath been said Would to God I might come to the quick reach the heart alarm the Conscience of every one that shall read these lines where shall I sharpen my Arrows that they may pierce and wound what words shall I use that drowsie sinners may be startled Lord help me Lord help the reader Lord help us both and that I might not lose my Labour and you your Souls I solemnly charge and in the name of the Eternal God I Sub-poena thee O CONSCIENCE closely and impartially to apply to the Heart what the man shall read with his Eye Conscience Now 's thy time to speak hereafter it may be too late for ever when once the man is dead and damn'd thou may'st torture and torment him but it will be impossible to fright him into Repentance Is the man drowsie O Conscience Conscience thunder in his Ears is he asleep jog and awake him is he unconcern'd as to any preparation for death judgment and an Eternal world tell him of this misery forewarn him of his danger call cry in his Ears till he is startled what shall be said in general do thou according to thine office as thou wilt answer the neglect of it to God thy Judge hereafter apply in particular if any thing be said suitable to the case of the man whose Conscience thou art be
Isal 38 19. praise God but the living the living they should When they were sick you did I am sure you should pray for them and being dead and having died in hope you should give thanks to the Father of Mercies for his Mercy to them for his goodness to them in the close in the evening in the concluding act of their lives Tho' thanks be to God we know nothing of praying for the Dead yet we may and ought to praise God for his Grace to them and especially for that Grace which enabled them to go off and die so well Did God in the evening visit their Souls speak peace to their Consciences publish their Pardon and carry them beyond the fear of Death and the Grave Did the Comforter come and did they find and feel he was before death did did God open the Eyes of the Soul to read their Evidences for Heaven before death closed those of the Body did God shine in upon their Souls and in the evening-time was it light did you hear them speak Zech 14. 7. of their departure without Tears and Groans nay with Joy and Triumph did you see a Calm upon their Spirits did you see them compose themselves to die in the same manner they were wont to do when they went to sleep with little or no difference only an unusual coldness and did they thus die Lord what praise is due to Free Grace Is it not the duty and interest of the Husband to bless God for his mercy to his departed Wife Is it not the duty of Children to offer up a Sacrifice of praise to their God and their Fathers God for the seasonable help the gracious supports and the suitable comforts afforded to a Father to a Mother in a dying hour should not as many praises be given to God for his mercy to their Souls as Tears shed over their Coffins and Graves what praises oh what hearty praises are due to God that they set sail with a fair Wind an happy Tide and got safe to Shore is it not melancholy and sad to see such near Relations full of doubts and fears crying out I cannot die I dare not die and did God prevent all this by giving them hope and the joy of hope too before they left us to go to him and should not God have the Glory that is due unto his name Our sacrifices of praise should mount up to Heaven in a pure and bright flame and there meet the Souls of our deceased Relatives Thanksgiving and Praise is a debt which holy persons who were thus priviledg'd in their last moments would have their surviving Relations pay to God in their name and stead Thirdly Another Duty is a careful imitation of their holy Lives This is a special branch of that Communion we have with departed Saints and the nearer they were to us in the flesh the more careful we should be to imitate them How does it concern Children who are left behind to follow the example tread in the steps of an holy Father or a godly Mother oh how should they endeavour to be the living Images of their deceased Parents gone from them to God! how greatly doth it concern such to labour after the same Vertues and Graces to accustom themselves to the same holy practices and religious exercises to keep up the old friendship there hath been between God and their Family that the Covenant Relation might not be broken in them Were they humble and meek quiet and patient holy and heavenly were they devoted to God and to the service of the Redeemer and did they live walk and act as such did they slight the World and all the gay and charming vanities of it and fill up every Relation with duty were they given to secret Prayer did they keep up Communion with God adorn their holy profession and live suitably to it at all times did they carefully husband and redeem their Time wisely imploy and improve all their Talents were they kind and merciful liberal and charitable and did they live as Heirs of the Grac of God and Candidates for Immortality and the expectants 1 Pet. 3. 7. of a future Glory were they burning and shining lights an honour to their Profession a credit to Religion and a peculiar Grace and Ornament to the particular Churches they were Members of did they carry it towards God and Man according to the rules of their holy Religion did they converse with God live in Heaven and prepare for Death and Judgment oh how worthy is this the imitation of them who are left behind How oft is wickedness and vice profaneness and irreligion transmitted from Father to Son and how do their Children act as if they were only born to perpetuate the War against Heaven and were only left to fill up the measure of their Father's iniquities how oft do some particular Vices or Vice run in a blood and are propagated from generation to generation till the whole family of these accursed Sinners is extinct and oh what a shame and pity is it that Piety and Religion which are the honour and glory of a Family which make a man excellent while he lives and render his memory precious when he is dead which render us dear to God and useful to others should not outlive the present Generation See more of this in the Epistle To stir us up to a careful imitation of such holy relations what argument can be more prevalent than this before us To consider what is the happy conclusion of an holy life viz. hope in Death At such a time every one is ready to cry out with Balaam Oh that I might die the death Numb 23. 10. of the righteous and my latter end might be like to his but what a vain wish is this if our lives be unlike to theirs the Children of holy Parents more especially should strive to be followers of them and keep God among them Was God should such an one say my Fathers God and my Mothers God and shall I forsake or cast him off Oh what a sin and shame is this have I such a fair Copy to write after and will it not greatly reflect on me if mine be full of blots and blurs When you are tempted remember you are the off-spring of them who were the friends and lovers of God that you are come of an holy stock and then say would my holy Father my godly Mother who are now with God have done thus and thus Are they acting the part of holy Angels in Heaven and shall I the Son the Daughter of such Religious Parents be acting the Devil upon Earth Will not the very dust of these holy Relations rise up in Judgment against and condemn me O my Soul let me remember with what comfort they lived with with hope they died with what joy they shall rise again what foretasts of Heaven how much of their reward they hadon a death-bed and let me charge it upon
dear Relations in their sickness I have seen them sick weak and full of pain I have seen their cold sweats their mortal tremblings and heard their last and dying groans and now it 's my turn to be sick and my time to die Die how hard and difficult a work is this of what great concern and everlasting importance Die who does or can know what it imports but those who are dead and gone I thought it hard to see my Friend my Father my Mother dye but shall I not find it more difficult now I am to dye my self the Messenger of Death has laid hold on me I believe this sickness will be my last I have no hope of recovery I have been sick and God hath recover'd me at the Mouth of the Grave and God hath brought me back I have gone from my Sick-bed and Chamber to my Shop and Trade but now I verily believe I shall do so no more my Sun is setting my Glass is run there are but a few remaining Sands the Grave with open mouth is waiting for me and in a little time I shall drop into it Most Holy Lord assist me now and leave me not through thy Grace I have lived help me Lord help me now to dye as a Christian in these hours and moments prepare me more and better for my last I have lived Rom. 14. 8. Rev. 14. 13. to oh that now I might die in the Lord and fall asleep in Jesus Preparation for Death Judgment and an Eternal World thanks be to God I have not neglected I did not in health adjourn this work to a time of sickness in order to this I have made many a Prayer shed many a Tear abstain'd from sin and crucified the Flesh I spent much of my time in trying my self searching my Heart and examining my State in repenting of and amending what I found amiss I was convinc'd a few death-bed Tears and languishing Prayers extorted by fears of Death and Hell would not make amends or be a sufficient compensation for the sins of a wicked Life and therefore through the Grace of God assisting me I made it the business of my Life to prepare to dye But something more is to be done that I may glorify God in my Death and be for ever happy after it what remains and is now to be done in this my last sickness instruct me Lord and help me to do it I now stand at the Mouth of the Grave upon the Threshold of Time and at the Door of Eternity Lord increase strengthen and quicken all those Graces which are proper to be acted in a time of sickness and on a death-bed Oh! that now I am a sick oh that now I am a dying man my Faith Love and Hope my Repentance Humiliation and Sorrow my desires and breathings after God my joy and delight in him may be more lively and active than ever oh that this last work of my Life may be done best my sick bed joys may be the greatest and my dying comforts most abundant through these painful hours and days this dark and narrow gloomy and frightful passage guide direct and lead me Lord The exercise of some graces the performance of some duties are peculiarly seasonable in a time of health and life and others are so in Sickness and at Death Thou hast helpt me to live and now Lord help me to die If I have made any preparation for such a time and hour as this If I have done any of the work of my Life and conversed in this World as an expectant of a better if I have any grace and at any time have been able to act it if my love has been 〈◊〉 my zeal flaming my heart softned â—umbled broken and melted and mine eyes a fountain of tears to bewail the slips and falls I have been guilty of if I have delighted in God through Christ as my reconciled Father Portion Happiness and End if I have exercised self-denyal in keeping under the flesh restraining its appetites and denying its cravings in contemning the World and slighting those adored vanities which bewitch charm and intangle so many if at any time my hope of Heaven hath been lively my longing panting and breathing after it strong and warm if I have mortified any sin resisted any temptation performed any duty with success so as to profit my self and please God if I have done any thing whereby the glory honour and interest of God and Christ has been advanced if I have imployed improved my talents and gained more if I have brought forth fruit done any work and service in my generation and place Lord it is owing to thee to the assistances of thy grace and the influences of thy Holy Spirit and I desire to acknowledge it is so saying with thy holy Apostle by the grace of God I am what I am Not I but the 1 Co. 15. 10. grace of God which was with me Oh for the same grace and mercy aid and help now I am a sick and dying man Oh that God would help me in these painful days and sorrowful hours to glorifie him yet more by doing the work which is proper to such a time that my present sickness and death may be for the glory of God the honour of Religion the good of my self and others Particularly help me Lord to be truly thankful for all thy mercies for those innumerable favours confer'd on such a worm such a wretch as I am bring them to my remembrance and enable me unseignedly to bless thee help me O my God to exercise a serious solemn and particular repentance for my past sins Let Oh! let this heart of mine be more humble broken and penitent than ever Finally help me Lord with patience and calmness submission and resignation to submit to thy holy will to be willing to die now with faith and hope trust and confidence to commit my Soul to the care of my dear and blessed Jesus And to these ends Lord bless the following meditations to me and let neither my Eye nor Tongue out-run or leave my Heart behind II. God's goodness is to be acknowledged though he afflicts us at present An enumeration of past mercies temporal and Spiritual And solemn thanksgiving for both God is good and doth good freely constantly and unweariedly and I am fully convinced of both My faith and reason prove the former my very sense and long experience the latter And though now I am sick and weak afflicted and pained though I feel the weight of his hand and the smarting of his rod neither Flesh nor Devil shall persuade me to think otherwise Though he afflicts me now yet hath he not done me good all my days and shall not I bless him for his mercies Mercies that are more than I can number greater than I can value and far beyond my deserts Shall the afflictions of a few days the pains of a few hours make me O my Soul forget slight or
what holy motions and breathings what enlivening quickening and comforting influences of the Holy Spirit have I had how oft hath God supported my drooping and reviv'd my dying Spirits answered my doubts expell'd my fears and treated me as a Friend nay more as a Son how hath God in mercy restrained the Tempter or wisely ordered the Temptation as to the nature strength and continuance of it what succour and support what strength and assistance have I experienc'd at such a time and how oft through Grace have I been more than a Conquerour when I sinn'd and fell God did not cast me off banish me his family and null the former Relation but pittied me a faln Christian when he heard my groans and saw my penitential Tears his Bowels yearned he took me up and embraced me in the Arms of his Mercy wiped my weeping Eyes comforted my sorrowful Heart and said Son be of good chear thy sins are forgiven Mat. 9. 2. thee Oh! the joy oh the unspeakable joy of that hour methinks I yet sensibly feel what lively and warm impressions those words made upon my Heart upon my Heart that the moment before was ready to sink and dye within me when I was covered with Tears Blushing and Shame when I lay sighing sobbing and groaning at his Foot-stool crying out in the bitterness of my Soul I have sinned I have sinned before I rose from my knees before I said Amen my God came and said I have pardoned I have pardoned and now go in peace For the mercy and kindness of that hour Lord I bless thee now When through the weakness of my Grace the strength of my Corruptions and the power of Temptation I have wandred and gone astray when my zeal has abated my affections been cooled when I have been remiss negligent and careless back-sliding and on the declining hand he sent some affliction or other to call me back to awaken warm quicken and recover me When I have loved the World too much and my God too little when my affection to Earth has been too warm and to Heaven too cold when duties have been neglected or performed without life vigour and zeal when I begun to be too Worldly Earthly and Sensual he suffered me to meet with disappointments took away part of my Estate snatcht away a bosom Friend a dear Relation filled my Body with pain shook me over the Grave and threatned to cast me into it and all this with a merciful design to reform and make me better And Lord I thank thee any afflictions have been sanctified to such an end that the voice of the Rod has been accompanied with that of thy Spirit and both were effectual to reclaim me that at any time I came out of the fire more refin'd and purg'd and that those Waters of Affliction washt away my filthiness Lord I can do and will bless thee for seasonable corrections and the discipline of thy Rod. So good and kind so liberal and bountiful so merciful and gracious hath God been to me I have had so much for Body and Soul for time and eternity that I am fill'd with wonder and must cry out Oh the heighth and depth length and breadth of the love of God! my mercies have been more than my moments and every single mercy deserves and calls for a Psalm of Praise Lord when I am dead and in a silent Grave I cannot praise thee and therefore now I will blessed be God I lived till I was born again that ever I heard of that sweet that blessed that charming name JESUS and that I was enabled to believe on him for all the Mercies I have had in this World and for the hope and prospect of more and better in the next Blessed be God for Pardoning Mercy Sanctifying Grace and the Blood of Jesus to wash and cleanse me a sinner Blessed be God for the supports and comforts I have in this sickness that Satan is restrain'd and my own corruptions curb'd Blessed be God I am made meet for Heaven and that I know I am Lord what Grace is thine how free and sovereign What love is thine how constant and matchless how sweet how exceeding sweet is the thought that God hath loved doth love me and will do so unto the End I 'll bless thee Lord while I live thank thee with my last Breath and O my God through Christ thy Son and my Saviour accept my dying praises Bless the Lord O my Soul bless the Lord for me O my Friends bless the Lord O ye his Holy Angels my single voice is not sufficient may every Tongue all breath praise his holy name Amen HALLELUJAH III. After Death cometh Judgment what an awakening Thought this is and ought to be How this Thought may and should be improv'd by us in our last Sickness particularly to put us upon Confession the exercise of Repentance and earnest Prayer to God for Pardoning Mercy SICKNESS Summons Men to die Death Summons them to Judgment May this Sickness be my last and do I suppose it will hearken O my Soul and thou may'st hear Deaths Voice Come unto the Bar come give an account of thy Self to God in the NAME of the ETERNAL GOD whose Servant and Messenger I am I cite thee O Man to make thine appearance before the Tribunal of thy Maker Sovereign and Judge in the other World Awful Tidings what awakening and startling words are these must I O my Soul quickly Dye and after that be judg'd go from my Death-bed to the Bar of an Infinitely Holy Just and Jealous God must my Life be examined all my Actions scanned and my everlasting state in that moment be determined must a Righteous and Irreversible Doom pass upon me must I Dye in one moment and in the next be Judg'd and shall not I search my ways examine my state take a survey of my Heart and Life before I pass to that final and irreversible Judgment and hold up these guilty hands of mine at God's Tribunal shall I not endeavour to know what has been amiss that I may confess be humbled for repent of it and beg pardon Lord help me a sick Lord for Jesus sake help me a dying man in this serious solemn work help me to find out my sins to repent and implore thy mercy through the Lord Jesus Christ who is my only hope in Life at Death and after Death I was born a sinner and came into the World guilty and polluted behold I was shapen in iniquity and in sin did my Mother Psal 51. 5. conceive me As I am a Child of Apostate Adam dreadful thought I am unlike to the Holy and Blessed God and resemble the Devil the worst of Beings and had I no other sin this were enough to shame confound silence and condemn me But alas have I not found this original sin active in my Heart and fruitful in my Life with what force and violence has it hurried me to the commission of sin oh
what cursed streams has this bitter Fountain been sending forth how much how often and how greatly have I offended God! what one Commandment is there I have not broken in thought word or deed my sins are more than can be numbred and how many Legions of Lusts are quartered in my Heart oh that my Head were Waters and mine Eyes a Jer. 9. 1. Fountain of Tears that I might weep day and night Did I not once O my Soul live as without God in the World how many and great were the sins of my unregenerate state what a sinner Lord what a vile sinner was I then were not all the faculties of my Soul and Members of my Body the Instruments of Unrighteousness unto sin Did not sin sit in the Throne sway the Scepter and had it not the entire quiet and peaceable possession of my Heart Was not I a willing Slave an obedient Servant and a Volunteer in any wicked service was I not at the beck of every Lust the will of every Temptation and did not Satan carry me captive at his pleasure during that wretched state how did I forget God and my self Eternity and another World thwart the design of my Creation and cross the end of my being made a Man Was I not sensual carnal and earthly a stranger to an Holy Heavenly Life without any delight in God desire after or care to please him did I not run into Sin as the Horse rushes into the Battle without any fear how long O my Soul how long was I a grief to that blessed Jesus who wept and swet bled groan'd and died for me how did I despise his Grace slight his Love his dying Love spurn at his Bowels and trample on his Blood with what sweet and endearing melting and charming language did he plead with me he called but I did not answer he pleaded but I was not moved his Bowels yearned but my Heart did not relent how oft did the Holy Spirit move and work upon my Heart and how oft did I resist vex quench and grieve him how oft was my Conscience awakened and how soon did it fall asleep again Holy Lord I blush I am ashamed and confounded to look back upon this part of my life I weep Lord I weep I desire to weep bitterly for the sins of my unconverted state I wish again Oh that my Head were Waters and mine Eyes a Fountain of Tears that I might weep day and night How many and great have been my sins since my Conversion to and acquaintance with God How oft have I fallen to the dishonour of God the discredit of Religion the wounding of my self and grieving of others how many duties have been neglected and how many carelesly performed in a cold lazy and trifling manner how many of my Talents which might have been improved for the Glory of God my own comfort and the good of others have been wrapped up in a Napkin and buried in the Earth how weak is every Grace and how much evil is mixt with all my good how oft letting down my Spiritual Watch has Satan surpriz'd me and Temptation prevail'd how much have I conformed to the World complied with the sinful customs and fashions of it how much have I lived contrary to my Profession and below my hopes as a Christian what a slow progress have I made in the ways of Holiness how many younger Christians have out-stript got the start of and are gone before me nay have I not shamefully declin'd and backsliden and lost much of my first love zeal and tenderness how frequent and strong have been the workings of Spiritual Sins as unbelief pride passion envy and uncharitableness c. Lord how many have been the sins of this state and how are they aggravated by all that love and mercy thou hast shewn to me and the long experience I have had of thy bounty and goodness Art thou my God and have I affronted my Father and have I displeased thee have I by these sins wounded that Redeemer who died for me grieved that Holy Spirit who has comforted me ah sinful silly Soul what hast thou been doing what an hearty sorrow and unfeigned grief do these sins call for I mourn Lord help me to mourn more thou hast given me the habit of Repentance give me now in this evening of my Life to act and exercise it Oh for a broken Heart and a contrite Spirit oh for inward shame and hearty remorse oh for a melting frame and a bleeding Soul oh that this Rock might be broken and this Heart be turned more and more into an Heart of flesh My time is short my strength little my sins many and great Lord help me to live repenting and die repenting to go to my grave weeping Weeping not tears of despair but tears of Gospel-sorrow which make way for eternal joys I do repent Lord from the bottom of my Soul I do repent let my last repentance be most solemn particular and serious and do thou accept it wash me in these penitential waters and because these muddy waters can't cleanse wash me Lord wash me in the blood of Jesus for that can cleanse from all sin O pardon pardon a dying penitent who confesses and acknowledges his sins and flies to thy mercy through the merits of Christ My sins are gone over mine head as a burden Psal 38. 4. they are too heavy for me Sin is an heavy burden and intollerable but most of all so to a dying man Look upon mine Psal 25. 18. affliction and forgive all my sins If I must weep with one eye Lord let me read my pardon with the other I have deserved Hell and if God should cast me into it I have forfeited Heaven and if God should eternally banish me from that blessed place I must say Righteous art thou O Lord and upright Ps 110. 137. is thy Judgment But save me from the one and bring me to the other for thy mercies sake I find it is written He that Pro. 28. 13. confesseth and forsaketh his sins shall find mercy And again if we confess our sins he is 1 John 1. 9. faithful and just to forgive us our sins This I have done this I will do and shall I not obtain mercy I am ashamed and confounded I loath and abhor my self I repent in dust and ashes I wish I had never done as I have were I to live over my life again Divine grace assisting these Errata's should be corrected I do repent and will not God pardon I do heartily mourn and will not God forgive Oh for a pardon for Jesus sake mercy mercy Lord mercy for a dying sinner who comes unto thee according to the tenor of the Gospel The thing I ask is great and I sinful I wretched I am altogether unworthy but Christ is worthy Lord lo here is the blood which bought my pardon and it has been and is now crying in thine ears with a loud voice Lord