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devil_n have_v no_o such_o power_n as_o to_o destroy_v her_o faith_n yet_o have_v she_o even_o that_o in_o such_o sort_n that_o it_o be_v no_o comfort_n to_o she_o at_o all_o but_o rather_o when_o she_o behold_v god_n great_a mercy_n he_o make_v it_o serve_v she_o for_o so_o much_o the_o great_a torment_n because_o she_o seem_v to_o have_v be_v oblige_v thereby_o to_o have_v serve_v almighty_a god_n so_o much_o the_o more_o this_o be_v a_o invention_n of_o the_o devil_n and_o that_o of_o the_o most_o painful_a and_o subtle_a and_o disguise_v that_o i_o have_v ever_o find_v and_o therefore_o i_o will_v wish_v your_o reverence_n if_o perhaps_o he_o may_v procure_v to_o tempt_v you_o hereafter_o in_o this_o kind_n to_o look_v upon_o it_o with_o a_o light_n in_o your_o hand_n and_o to_o procure_v to_o know_v he_o well_o if_o he_o leave_v you_o understanding_n enough_o for_o do_v it_o and_o believe_v not_o here_o that_o knowledge_n and_o learning_n will_v serve_v the_o turn_n for_o though_o 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not_o arrive_v so_o far_o as_o to_o desire_v that_o they_o may_v know_v of_o it_o not_o yet_o because_o i_o be_v humble_a but_o only_o that_o they_o may_v not_o laugh_v at_o i_o for_o my_o labour_n and_o for_o my_o be_v so_o absolute_o good_a for_o nothing_o o_o my_o dear_a lord_n how_o mere_a a_o scorn_n and_o shame_n be_v it_o to_o see_v so_o great_a wickedness_n as_o i_o and_o find_v i_o reckon-up_a such_o poor_a and_o paltry_a little_a grain_n of_o sand_n as_o these_o which_o yet_o also_o i_o raise_v not_o out_o of_o the_o earth_n for_o thy_o honour_n and_o service_n but_o all_o be_v wrap_v up_o in_o a_o thousand_o misery_n for_o the_o water_n of_o thy_o grace_n have_v not_o yet_o spring_v and_o boyled-up_a in_o i_o to_o make_v they_o rise_v o_o thou_o my_o dear_a creator_n that_o i_o have_v something_o of_o worth_n and_o substance_n which_o i_o may_v recount_v and_o present_a to_o thou_o among_o so_o many_o sin_n of_o i_o since_o i_o be_o command_v to_o relate_v those_o great_a 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a_o sweet_a repose_n or_o sleep_v of_o all_o the_o power_n which_o be_v yet_o neither_o total_o lose_v nor_o yet_o do_v they_o know_v how_o they_o work_v this_o gust_n and_o delight_n and_o suavitie_n be_v great_a beyond_o all_o comparison_n than_o the_o former_a for_o the_o water_n of_o this_o grace_n gets-up_a to_o the_o very_a throat_n of_o the_o soul_n in_o such_o sort_n that_o now_o it_o can_v go_v forward_o nor_o know_v how_o to_o do_v it_o nor_o yet_o will_v by_o any_o mean_n return_v backward_o but_o enjoy_v a_o excessive_a kind_n of_o glory_n it_o be_v as_o when_o a_o man_n be_v already_o with_o the_o holy_a die_v candle_n in_o his_o hand_n so_o that_o now_o there_o want_v very_o little_a of_o die_v but_o it_o be_v of_o that_o very_a death_n which_o be_v desire_v for_o she_o be_v enjoy_v the_o great_a delight_n that_o can_v be_v imagine_v in_o that_o agony_n of_o she_o and_o i_o think_v it_o be_v no_o other_o thing_n then_o even_o to_o die_v as_o it_o be_v entire_o to_o all_o 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amaze_v at_o it_o for_o i_o understand_v all_o this_o business_n at_o a_o instant_n many_o time_n i_o be_v as_o it_o be_v out_o of_o myself_o and_o as_o if_o i_o have_v be_v even_o inebriate_v with_o this_o love_n and_o yet_o i_o can_v never_o understand_v how_o it_o be_v only_o i_o know_v very_o well_o that_o it_o be_v god_n but_o i_o can_v not_o tell_v the_o manner_n how_o he_o wrought_v in_o i_o at_o that_o time_n for_o it_o be_v the_o very_a truth_n that_o the_o prayer_n power_n be_v as_o it_o be_v all_o unite_a though_o yet_o not_o so_o ingulf_v but_o that_o still_o they_o work_v and_o i_o have_v be_v extreme_o joy_v that_o at_o length_n i_o be_o come_v to_o understand_v it_o and_o bless_v be_v our_o lord_n for_o ever_o who_o have_v regale_v i_o in_o so_o high_a a_o degree_n these_o power_n have_v only_o now_o ability_n to_o busy_v themselves_o total_o upon_o almighty_a god_n nor_o do_v it_o seem_v that_o any_o of_o they_o now_o even_o dare_v so_o much_o as_o hover_v or_o stir_v 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all_o tongue_n to_o praise_v our_o lord_n she_o utter_v a_o thousand_o holy_a impertinency_n but_o yet_o she_o do_v ever_o endeavour_v to_o hit_v right_a in_o please_v he_o who_o hold_v she_o there_o in_o that_o manner_n i_o know_v of_o a_o certain_a person_n who_o though_o she_o be_v no_o poet_n yet_o instant_o do_v she_o happen_v to_o make_v certain_a verse_n all_o extempore_o which_o be_v very_o significant_a in_o the_o way_n of_o complaint_n &_o declare_v her_o pain_n very_o well_o though_o they_o be_v not_o make_v by_o her_o own_o understanding_n alone_o but_o for_o the_o better_a enjoy_v that_o glory_n which_o give_v she_o so_o delightful_a a_o pain_n she_o complain_v thereof_o to_o her_o god_n she_o wish_v that_o she_o may_v be_v all_o tear_v in_o piece_n both_o in_o body_n and_o soul_n to_o show_v the_o joy_n she_o find_v to_o feel_v this_o pain_n what_o torment_n can_v then_o be_v set_v before_o she_o which_o then_o she_o will_v not_o be_v glad_a to_o endure_v for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n she_o clear_o see_v that_o the_o martyr_n do_v very_o little_a on_o their_o part_n when_o they_o suffer_v torment_n for_o the_o soul_n know_v then_o very_o well_o that_o her_o strength_n come_v to_o she_o by_o some_o other_o way_n then_o from_o herself_o but_o now_o what_o will_v she_o feel_v when_o she_o come_v back_o to_o employ_v her_o wit_n upon_o know_v how_o to_o live_v again_o in_o this_o world_n and_o to_o return_v both_o to_o the_o care_n and_o compliment_n thereof_o and_o certain_o i_o think_v i_o be_o far_o from_o have_v exaggerated_a any_o thing_n concern_v this_o manner_n of_o joy_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o make_v a_o soul_n possess_v even_o in_o this_o place_n of_o bannishment_n for_o all_o that_o which_o i_o have_v say_v of_o it_o be_v very_o poor_a and_o mean_v in_o comparison_n of_o what_o it_o be_v in_o itself_o bless_a be_v thou_o for_o ever_o o_o lord_n and_o let_v all_o thing_n praise_v thou_o for_o ever_o and_o be_v please_v o_o my_o king_n i_o most_o humble_o beseech_v and_o beg_v at_o thy_o hand_n that_o since_o when_o even_o now_o i_o be_o not_o whole_o out_o of_o this_o holy_a celestial_a frenzy_n or_o folly_n which_o through_o thy_o goodness_n and_o mercy_n and_o so_o whole_o without_o any_o merit_n of_o i_o thou_o do_v i_o the_o great_a favour_n to_o impart_v either_o all_o such_o person_n as_o with_o who_o i_o shall_v have_v occasion_n to_o converse_v may_v be_v even_o as_o it_o be_v mad_a fool_n for_o thy_o love_n or_o else_o dispose_v thou_o so_o of_o i_o as_o that_o
may_v hope_v from_o those_o terrible_a and_o perpetual_a torment_n since_o that_o time_n as_o i_o be_v say_v there_o be_v nothing_o which_o seem_v not_o easy_a to_o i_o in_o comparison_n of_o one_o moment_n of_o that_o which_o be_v to_o be_v suffer_v there_o and_o i_o be_v in_o a_o very_a great_a wonder_n that_o have_v so_o often_o read_v diverse_a book_n which_o give_v i_o some_o notice_n of_o a_o part_n of_o the_o torment_n of_o hell_n i_o fear_v they_o so_o little_a and_o hold_v they_o in_o so_o small_a account_n consider_v in_o what_o case_n i_o be_v then_o and_o how_o it_o be_v possible_a for_o i_o to_o receive_v contentment_n in_o any_o such_o thing_n as_o final_o be_v to_o carry_v i_o on_o to_o so_o wretched_a a_o place_n as_o that_o be_v be_v thou_o eternal_o bless_v o_o my_o god_n for_o how_o well_o have_v thou_o make_v it_o appear_v that_o thou_o love_v i_o incomparable_o better_a than_o i_o do_v myself_o how_o often_o o_o my_o dear_a lord_n have_v thou_o deliver_v i_o from_o that_o dark_a and_o horrible_a dungeon_n and_o how_o often_o have_v i_o return_v to_o cast_v myself_o in_o thither_o again_o even_o against_o thy_o will_n from_o hence_o also_o i_o get_v a_o facility_n to_o be_v in_o very_o great_a pain_n for_o the_o many_o soul_n of_o these_o lutheran_n which_o be_v condemn_v to_o hell_n and_o especial_o because_o they_o have_v once_o be_v member_n of_o the_o holy_a catholic_a church_n by_o their_o baptism_n i_o gain_v also_o great_a impulse_n to_o do_v good_a to_o soul_n and_o real_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o to_o be_v very_o certain_a that_o for_o the_o save_n of_o any_o of_o they_o from_o so_o grievous_a and_o everlasting_a torment_n i_o can_v suffer_v many_o death_n with_o a_o very_a good_a will_n for_o i_o consider_v that_o if_o we_o see_v a_o person_n in_o this_o world_n who_o we_o love_v undergo_v any_o great_a affliction_n or_o pain_n it_o seem_v that_o even_o our_o natural_a disposition_n invite_v we_o to_o have_v compassion_n of_o the_o case_n and_o so_o much_o as_o that_o pain_n be_v great_a so_o much_o the_o more_o and_o therefore_o now_o to_o see_v a_o soul_n which_o be_v for_o ever_o to_o be_v enchain_v to_o the_o endure_v of_o that_o supreme_a affliction_n and_o misery_n of_o all_o misery_n who_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o bear_v it_o and_o what_o hart_n can_v ever_o brook_v it_o without_o strange_a trouble_n and_o since_o we_o be_v move_v here_o to_o so_o much_o compassion_n of_o man_n who_o misery_n have_v yet_o a_o term_n prefix_v and_o at_o the_o further_a they_o be_v to_o end_v with_o their_o life_n how_o shall_v we_o be_v able_a to_o get_v patience_n for_o think_v of_o the_o infinite_a torment_n of_o those_o other_o consider_v what_o a_o huge_a number_n of_o soul_n the_o devil_n be_v daily_o carry_v into_o hell_n this_o consideration_n also_o make_v i_o desire_v that_o in_o a_o business_n of_o so_o mighty_a importance_n we_o may_v not_o be_v satisfy_v with_o less_o than_o the_o do_v of_o the_o very_a uttermost_a we_o can_v on_o our_o part_n and_o that_o we_o leave_v nothing_o at_o all_o unattempted_a to_o secure_v ourselves_o by_o that_o mean_n and_o i_o humble_o beseech_v our_o bless_a lord_n to_o give_v we_o all_o his_o grace_n for_o this_o purpose_n when_o i_o consider_v that_o howsoever_o i_o be_v former_o most_o wicked_a yet_o have_v i_o some_o little_a care_n to_o ferue_v almighty_a god_n not_o yet_o do_v i_o then_o commit_v certain_a thing_n which_o be_v take_v and_o swallow_v down_o by_o the_o world_n as_o familiar_o as_o to_o turn_v the_o hand_n and_o with_o this_o i_o endure_v huge_a sickness_n and_o i_o do_v it_o with_o that_o great_a patience_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o give_v i_o for_o that_o purpose_n and_o i_o be_v also_o not_o incline_v to_o murmur_v and_o detract_v or_o to_o speak_v hardly_o of_o any_o creature_n nay_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o as_o if_o i_o scarce_o have_v power_n to_o with_o any_o body_n any_o ill_n nor_o be_v i_o covetous_a nor_o envious_a for_o any_o thing_n that_o i_o can_v ever_o remember_v at_o least_o to_o any_o such_o proportion_n as_o may_v result_v to_o the_o great_a offence_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o some_o other_o thing_n also_o there_o be_v wherein_o though_o i_o be_v very_o wicked_a i_o have_v usual_o the_o fear_n of_o almighty_a god_n before_o i_o and_o yet_o notwithstanding_o all_o this_o i_o see_v where_o the_o devil_n 471._o have_v take_v up_o and_o provide_v my_o lodging_n and_o it_o be_v true_a that_o consider_v what_o my_o fault_n have_v be_v it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o i_o yet_o deserve_v more_o punishment_n but_o howsoever_o upon_o the_o whole_a matter_n i_o declare_v that_o it_o be_v a_o most_o horrible_a torment_n and_o and_o that_o it_o be_v a_o dangerous_a thing_n that_o the_o soul_n shall_v take_v contentment_n and_o be_v at_o rest_n which_o be_v fall_v every_o minute_n into_o mortal_a sinne._n nay_o rather_o for_o the_o love_n of_o almighty_a god_n let_v we_o remove_v all_o the_o occasion_n thereof_o for_o our_o lord_n will_v help_v we_o all_o as_o he_o have_v do_v i_o and_o i_o humble_o beseech_v his_o divine_a majesty_n not_o to_o give_v over_o to_o hold_v i_o fast_o in_o his_o hand_n least_z if_o he_o do_v i_o return_v to_o fall_v for_o in_o that_o case_n i_o see_v already_o what_o be_v to_o become_v of_o i_o for_o ever_o but_o i_o beseech_v our_o b._n lord_n again_o not_o to_o suffer_v it_o even_o for_o his_o own_o mercy_n sake_n amen_n but_o now_o after_o my_o see_v all_o this_o as_o also_o many_o other_o great_a thing_n and_o secret_n which_o our_o lord_n through_o his_o own_o mercy_n be_v please_v to_o show_v i_o concern_v the_o glory_n which_o be_v design_v in_o the_o next_o life_n for_o the_o good_a and_o the_o torment_n for_o the_o wicked_a and_o i_o procure_v now_o to_o light_v upon_o some_o way_n or_o mean_n whereby_o i_o may_v do_v penance_n for_o so_o much_o ill_a as_o i_o have_v commit_v and_o may_v be_v able_a also_o to_o do_v somewhat_o towards_o the_o obtain_n of_o so_o great_a a_o good_a i_o desire_v even_o to_o fly_v out_o of_o the_o sight_n of_o mankind_n and_o now_o at_o length_n once_o for_o all_o to_o divide_v myself_o from_o the_o world_n and_o to_o part_v from_o it_o and_o my_o hart_n will_v now_o be_v quiet_a no_o long_o but_o yet_o be_v not_o that_o disquiet_n of_o i_o any_o troublesome_a kind_n of_o thing_n but_o rather_o of_o contentment_n and_o gust_n and_o it_o be_v evident_a that_o it_o come_v from_o almighty_a god_n and_o that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v give_v heat_n enough_o to_o this_o soul_n of_o i_o for_o the_o digest_v of_o other_o and_o strong_a meat_n than_o she_o have_v former_o take_v cause_n and_o now_o i_o begin_v to_o consider_v what_o i_o may_v possible_o he_o able_a to_o do_v for_o almighty_a god_n and_o the_o first_o thing_n i_o think_v be_v to_o follow_v that_o first_o call_v which_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v give_v i_o to_o lead_v a_o religious_a life_n and_o that_o by_o the_o observance_n of_o my_o rule_n with_o the_o great_a perfection_n that_o i_o can_v practice_v and_o though_o there_o be_v in_o the_o monastery_n wherein_o i_o find_v myself_o at_o that_o time_n many_o servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n by_o who_o he_o be_v very_o much_o serve_v in_o that_o place_n yet_o in_o regard_n they_o want_v temporal_a mean_n many_o of_o the_o religious_a woman_n be_v cast_v into_o a_o kind_n of_o necessity_n to_o go_v abroad_o sometime_o for_o relief_n of_o the_o house_n but_o yet_o they_o do_v it_o so_o as_o to_o pass_v with_o all_o kind_n of_o chastity_n and_o piety_n and_o beside_o that_o house_n be_v not_o found_v according_a to_o the_o first_o rigour_n of_o the_o rule_n but_o only_o the_o same_o rule_n be_v observe_v in_o conformity_n with_o all_o the_o rest_n of_o the_o order_n according_a to_o the_o bull_n of_o relaxation_n and_o dispensation_n there_o be_v also_o some_o other_o inconvenience_n and_o beside_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o the_o place_n be_v of_o much_o regalo_n in_o regard_n that_o it_o be_v both_o large_a and_o pleasant_a but_o especial_o the_o inconvenience_n of_o go_v sometime_o out_o of_o the_o monastery_n be_v grow_v to_o be_v a_o very_a great_a one_o for_o i_o though_o former_o i_o have_v be_v one_o who_o make_v most_o familiar_a use_n of_o it_o myself_o in_o regard_n that_o sometime_o some_o person_n who_o the_o superior_n be_v importune_v can_v not_o well_o refuse_v take_v contentment_n that_o i_o shall_v accompany_v they_o who_o go_v abroad_o and_o by_o this_o mean_n according_a to_o the_o use_n which_o be_v hold_v i_o may_v grow_v by_o degree_n to_o remain_v very_o
also_o with_o have_v begin_v so_o to_o use_v prayer_n as_o that_o i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o carry_v my_o pain_n with_o much_o conformity_n to_o his_o holy_a will_n the_o conversation_n of_o my_o hart_n be_v whole_o with_o he_o and_o i_o carry_v these_o word_n of_o job_n very_o usual_o both_o in_o my_o thought_n and_o in_o my_o mouth_n since_o we_o have_v receive_v blessing_n and_o benefit_n at_o the_o hand_n of_o our_o lord_n why_o shall_v we_o not_o also_o suffer_v affliction_n and_o i_o conceive_v that_o this_o help_v to_o give_v i_o courage_n at_o length_n come_v the_o feast_n of_o our_o b._n lady_n in_o august_n for_o till_o then_o from_o the_o april_n before_o have_v my_o torment_n continue_v though_o yet_o it_o have_v be_v great_a in_o the_o three_o last_o month_n i_o than_o make_v haste_n to_o go_v to_o confession_n for_o i_o ever_o take_v much_o contentment_n to_o confess_v often_o my_o friend_n think_v that_o it_o be_v fear_n of_o death_n which_o invite_v i_o to_o be_v so_o devout_a and_o so_o to_o the_o end_n that_o i_o may_v not_o be_v put_v into_o apprehension_n my_o father_n will_v not_o let_v i_o confess_v o_o inordinate_a and_o irregular_a love_n of_o flesh_n and_o blood_n since_o though_o i_o have_v so_o catholic_n a_o father_n and_o so_o full_a of_o prudence_n and_o consideration_n in_o all_o his_o action_n which_o even_o abound_v in_o he_o for_o this_o can_v not_o be_v a_o effect_n of_o ignorance_n yet_o he_o may_v have_v do_v i_o hurt_n enough_o by_o this_o mean_n that_o night_n i_o fall_v into_o such_o a_o trance_n as_o continue_v to_o keep_v i_o near_o four_o day_n without_o the_o use_n almost_o of_o any_o of_o my_o sense_n and_o short_o they_o come_v to_o give_v i_o the_o sacrament_n of_o extreme_a unction_n and_o every_o hour_n or_o rather_o every_o moment_n it_o be_v expect_v when_o i_o shall_v expire_v they_o be_v as_o diligent_a in_o say_v the_o creed_n devil_n in_o my_o hear_n as_o if_o i_o have_v understand_v they_o yea_o sometime_o they_o hold_v i_o for_o so_o certain_o to_o be_v dead_a that_o afterward_o i_o find_v the_o drop_n of_o the_o holy_a candle_n wax-candle_n about_o my_o eye_n the_o affliction_n of_o my_o father_n be_v great_a for_o his_o not_o have_v permit_v i_o to_o go_v to_o confession_n many_o outcry_n and_o many_o prayer_n be_v make_v to_o almighty_a god_n for_o i_o and_o bless_v be_v he_o who_o be_v please_v to_o hear_v they_o for_o the_o grave_n remain_v open_a in_o the_o church_n of_o my_o monastery_n a_o day_n and_o a_o half_a where_o my_o body_n be_v expect_v to_o be_v inter_v and_o my_o funeral_n have_v be_v already_o celebrate_v by_o the_o religious_a man_n of_o our_o order_n in_o another_o town_n where_o it_o be_v conceive_v that_o i_o be_v dead_a our_o lord_n be_v yet_o please_v at_o length_n that_o i_o shall_v teturne_v to_o myself_o and_o so_o instant_o i_o will_v needs_o go_v to_o confession_n i_o receive_v also_o the_o b._n sacrament_n with_o many_o tear_n though_o yet_o in_o my_o opinion_n they_o be_v not_o shed_v with_o that_o sense_n and_o grief_n for_o only_o my_o have_v offend_v almighty_a god_n which_o may_v have_v serve_v to_o save_v my_o soul_n if_o the_o error_n into_o which_o i_o be_v bring_v by_o they_o who_o have_v tell_v i_o that_o they_o be_v not_o matter_n of_o mortal_a sin_n which_o afterward_o i_o see_v plain_o that_o they_o be_v may_v not_o serve_v my_o turn_n for_o the_o torment_n wherewith_o i_o remain_v be_v intolerable_a and_o my_o understanding_n not_o very_o sharp_a but_o rather_o dull_a though_o yet_o as_o i_o conceive_v my_o confession_n be_v entire_a of_o all_o thing_n whereby_o i_o may_v think_v that_o i_o have_v offend_v god_n for_o this_o mercy_n do_v his_o divine_a majesty_n vouchsafe_v to_o allow_v i_o among_o other_o that_o after_o i_o have_v once_o begin_v to_o receive_v the_o b._n sacrament_n i_o never_o omit_v to_o confess_v any_o thing_n which_o i_o conceive_v to_o be_v a_o sin_n though_o it_o be_v but_o venial_a though_o yet_o still_o i_o think_v that_o without_o doubt_n my_o soul_n may_v have_v run_v hazard_n not_o to_o be_v save_v if_o i_o have_v die_v then_o in_o regard_n that_o on_o the_o one_o side_n my_o ghostly_a father_n have_v be_v so_o mean_o learn_v and_o on_o the_o other_o side_n and_o indeed_o on_o many_o side_n in_o regard_n that_o in_o myself_o i_o be_v so_o wicked_a but_o this_o be_v always_o a_o most_o certain_a truth_n that_o when_o i_o return_v to_o a_o thought_n of_o this_o passage_n and_o consider_v how_o it_o seem_v as_o if_o our_o lord_n have_v raise_v i_o again_o from_o death_n to_o life_n i_o be_o fill_v with_o so_o huge_a a_o amazement_n that_o i_o remain_v even_o as_o it_o be_v all_o quake_a within_o myself_o and_o now_o i_o think_v it_o be_v well_o o_o my_o soul_n that_o thou_o will_v gather_v this_o just_a resolution_n from_o that_o great_a danger_n out_o of_o which_o it_o please_v our_o lord_n to_o deliver_v thou_o that_o although_o thou_o will_v not_o fly_v from_o offend_v his_o divine_a majesty_n for_o love_n yet_o at_o least_o thou_o shall_v forbear_v to_o do_v it_o for_o fear_n for_o he_o may_v have_v take_v thy_o life_n from_o thou_o a_o thousand_o time_n when_o thou_o be_v in_o a_o more_o dangerous_a state_n and_o i_o think_v that_o i_o shall_v not_o say_v too_o much_o if_o i_o do_v speak_v of_o a_o thousand_o time_n more_o though_o he_o perhaps_o may_v chide_v i_o who_o command_v i_o to_o use_v moderation_n in_o the_o recital_n of_o my_o sin_n and_o yet_o i_o doubt_v that_o i_o have_v paint_v they_o out_o too_o favourable_o and_o fair_a but_o i_o beg_v of_o he_o for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n that_o he_o will_v not_o once_o think_v of_o make_v i_o diminish_v my_o fault_n because_o the_o magnificence_n of_o almighty_a god_n be_v to_o be_v discern_v thereby_o and_o how_o much_o he_o be_v please_v to_o suffer_v and_o endure_v from_o a_o soul_n let_v he_o be_v bless_v for_o ever_o and_o let_v it_o also_o please_v his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o he_o may_v rather_o consume_v i_o quite_o then_o that_o i_o shall_v ever_o leave_v to_o love_v he_o more_o the_o six_o chapter_n she_o treat_v of_o how_o much_o she_o owe_v our_o b._n lord_n for_o his_o give_v she_o conformity_n to_o his_o holy_a will_n in_o so_o great_a affliction_n and_o how_o she_o take_v the_o glorious_a s._n joseph_n for_o her_o intercessor_n and_o how_o advantageous_a that_o devotion_n prove_v to_o be_v i_o remain_v during_o those_o four_o day_n of_o agony_n or_o trance_n in_o such_o state_n that_o only_o our_o b._n lord_n be_v able_a to_o know_v the_o unsufferable_a torment_n which_o i_o feel_v in_o myself_o my_o tongue_n be_v deep_o bite_v by_o i_o in_o many_o place_n my_o throat_n with_o have_v take_v nothing_o and_o by_o reason_n also_o of_o my_o very_a great_a weakness_n can_v not_o swallow_v so_o much_o as_o a_o drop_n of_o water_n without_o choke_v i_o thought_n i_o be_v total_o disjoint_v and_o my_o head_n in_o extreme_a disorder_n i_o be_v also_o as_o it_o be_v all_o roll_a up_o and_o contract_v as_o if_o i_o have_v be_v a_o bottom_n of_o packthridd_n for_o in_o this_o do_v the_o torment_n of_o those_o day_n fix_v themselves_o without_o my_o be_v able_a once_o to_o stir_v either_o hand_n or_o foot_n arm_n or_o head_n unless_o they_o move_v i_o any_o more_o then_o as_o if_o i_o have_v be_v dead_a only_o i_o think_v i_o be_v able_a to_o wag_n one_o single_v finger_fw-la of_o my_o right_a hand_n now_o for_o any_o body_n to_o touch_v i_o in_o any_o kind_n there_o be_v no_o mean_n at_o all_o for_o my_o whole_a person_n be_v so_o affect_v and_o afflict_a as_o that_o there_o be_v no_o endure_v to_o have_v it_o touch_v in_o a_o sheet_n they_o will_v be_v remove_v i_o now_o and_o then_o according_a to_o the_o occasion_n with_o one_o at_o one_o end_n thereof_o &_o another_o at_o the_o other_o and_o this_o last_v till_o easter_n only_o this_o i_o have_v by_o way_n of_o ease_n that_o if_o i_o be_v not_o approach_v and_o touch_v these_o torment_n will_v be_v cease_v many_o time_n and_o then_o upon_o the_o account_n of_o my_o be_v in_o less_o pain_n i_o be_v content_a to_o affirm_v myself_o to_o be_v well_o but_o indeed_o i_o be_v much_o afraid_a lest_o my_o patience_n shall_v begin_v to_o fail_v i_o and_o therefore_o i_o be_v not_o a_o little_a please_v to_o find_v myself_o without_o those_o sharp_a and_o continual_a torment_n though_o yet_o i_o have_v they_o after_o a_o unsupportable_a manner_n together_o with_o a_o very_a great_a detestation_n of_o food_n whilst_o i_o have_v those_o fierce_a cold_n which_o indeed_o
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begin_v to_o button_n and_o budd-out_a towards_o flower_a that_o they_o may_v afterward_o yield_v fruit_n and_o how_o these_o gillie-flower_n and_o other_o odoriferous_a plant_n dispose_v themselves_o to_o give_v delight_n full_o send_v to_o the_o owner_n i_o confess_v that_o this_o comparison_n regales_fw-la and_o please_v i_o much_o for_o many_o time_n in_o my_o beginning_n and_o i_o humble_o beseech_v our_o lord_n that_o even_o yet_o i_o may_v have_v be_v a_o beginner_n to_o serve_v his_o divine_a majesty_n i_o say_v in_o those_o beginning_n of_o that_o which_o i_o shall_v say_v afterward_o of_o my_o life_n it_o be_v of_o much_o delight_n to_o i_o to_o consider_v that_o my_o soul_n be_v a_o garden_n and_o that_o our_o lord_n walk_v in_o it_o up_o and_o down_o and_o i_o humble_o pray_v he_o to_o increase_v the_o odour_n of_o those_o little_a young_a flower_n of_o virtue_n which_o show_v in_o all_o appearance_n that_o they_o will_v be_v glad_a to_o find_v mean_n to_o sprout_v and_o 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care_n be_v lose_v which_o he_o have_v former_o employ_v upon_o sustain_v and_o improve_v his_o garden_n but_o then_o comes-in_a the_o time_n of_o true_a plucking-up_a and_o rooting-out_a all_o those_o little_a paltry_a herb_n which_o till_o then_o have_v remain_v there_o how_o little_a soever_o they_o may_v be_v with_o make_v we_o also_o know_v that_o no_o diligence_n of_o we_o will_v serve_v if_o almighty_a god_n take_v the_o water_n of_o his_o grace_n from_o we_o that_o so_o in_o fine_a we_o may_v come_v to_o hold_v this_o poor_a miserable_a nothing_o of_o we_o in_o no_o manner_n of_o account_n yea_o and_o if_o the_o thing_n be_v possible_a even_o for_o less_o than_o nothing_o for_o here_o great_a humility_n make_v we_o the_o gainer_n since_o the_o flower_n will_v thus_o grow_v to_o reflourish_v o_o thou_o my_o lord_n and_o my_o god_n for_o i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o say_v this_o without_o tear_n and_o without_o a_o great_a regalo_n to_o this_o poor_a soul_n of_o i_o be_v it_o possible_a o_o my_o lord_n that_o thou_o be_v please_v to_o be_v thus_o among_o we_o yea_o and_o thou_o remain_v in_o the_o b._n sacrament_n which_o may_v well_o be_v with_o all_o truth_n believe_v because_o so_o it_o be_v and_o we_o may_v with_o much_o truth_n make_v this_o comparison_n and_o if_o it_o be_v not_o through_o our_o own_o fault_n we_o may_v enjoy_v ourselves_o together_o with_o thou_o yea_o and_o thou_o do_v also_o rejoice_v to_o be_v with_o we_o since_o thou_o declare_v that_o it_o be_v thy_o delight_n to_o be_v with_o the_o child_n of_o man_n o_o my_o lord_n what_o be_v this_o for_o whensoever_o i_o hear_v but_o this_o word_n it_o be_v to_o i_o of_o great_a consolation_n yea_o and_o be_v so_o when_o i_o find_v myself_o in_o the_o worst_a condition_n but_o be_v it_o possible_a after_o this_o o_o my_o dear_a lord_n that_o there_o shall_v be_v in_o the_o whole_a world_n any_o one_o soul_n which_o arrive_v to_o receive_v such_o favour_n and_o regalo_n at_o thy_o hand_n and_o understanding_n that_o thou_o reioyc_a so_o high_o in_o she_o shall_v yet_o return_v to_o offend_v thou_o after_o the_o receive_n of_o so_o many_o favour_n and_o so_o great_a demonstration_n of_o the_o love_n thou_o bear_v she_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o they_o can_v possible_o be_v doubt_v since_o the_o effect_n do_v so_o manifest_o declare_v it_o yes_o yes_o it_o be_v most_o certain_a that_o there_o be_v such_o a_o soul_n in_o the_o world_n which_o have_v offend_v thou_o and_o that_o not_o once_o but_o often_o yea_o and_o i_o be_o this_o very_a soul_n and_o i_o beseech_v thy_o divine_a goodness_n o_o my_o lord_n that_o i_o may_v have_v be_v the_o only_o creature_n who_o ever_o commit_v so_o high_a a_o wickedness_n and_o who_o have_v be_v guilty_a of_o such_o a_o excessive_a ingratitude_n against_o thou_o though_o yet_o already_o even_o from_o this_o very_a misery_n of_o i_o thy_o infinite_a goodness_n have_v be_v able_a to_o draw_v some_o advantage_n yea_o and_o even_o by_o how_o much_o the_o ill_n have_v be_v great_a the_o great_a benignity_n of_o thy_o mercy_n have_v shine_v so_o much_o the_o more_o but_o now_o with_o how_o much_o reason_n may_v i_o resolve_v to_o celebrate_v they_o for_o all_o eternity_n i_o most_o humble_o beseech_v thou_o o_o my_o god_n that_o it_o may_v be_v so_o and_o that_o i_o may_v sing_v praise_n to_o thou_o for_o ever_o since_o now_o thou_o have_v vouchsafe_v to_o show_v thy_o goodness_n so_o high_o and_o so_o great_o to_o i_o that_o such_o as_o see_v it_o be_v amaze_v and_o as_o for_o i_o they_o carry_v i_o very_o often_o even_o out_o of_o myself_o and_o if_o i_o shall_v once_o find_v that_o i_o be_v deprive_v of_o thou_o i_o can_v be_v fit_a o_o my_o lord_n for_o nothing_o but_o to_o return_v to_o be_v such_o a_o kind_n of_o garden_n as_o that_o the_o flower_n be_v plucked-up_a yet_o once_o again_o this_o miserable_a earth_n of_o i_o will_v return_v to_o be_v a_o direct_a dunghill_n as_o it_o be_v before_o to_o the_o end_n therefore_o that_o i_o may_v praise_v thou_o the_o better_a permit_v not_o i_o beseech_v thou_o o_o my_o lord_n that_o this_o soul_n may_v ever_o grow_v to_o be_v lose_v which_o thou_o have_v buy_v with_o so_o many_o affliction_n of_o thy_o own_o and_o which_o thou_o have_v so_o often_o repurchase_v again_o and_o again_o and_o take_v from_o out_o of_o the_o very_a tooth_n of_o that_o hideous_a dragon_n of_o hell_n i_o beseech_v your_o reverence_n excuse_v i_o for_o speak_v thus_o from_o the_o purpose_n and_o do_v not_o wonder_v at_o it_o since_o it_o be_v at_o least_o to_o my_o own_o purpose_n to_o speak_v as_o i_o do_v for_o it_o happen_v according_a to_o those_o apprehension_n and_o reflection_n which_o the_o soul_n chance_v to_o make_v when_o one_o write_v and_o sometime_o it_o falls-out_a to_o be_v hard_o enough_o to_o forbear_v to_o celebrate_v the_o praise_n of_o almighty_a god_n when_o it_o happen_v that_o the_o pen_n represent_v such_o thing_n as_o express_v the_o high_a 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she_o do_v not_o well_o consider_v that_o she_o have_v not_o yet_o mew_v all_o her_o own_o sick-feather_n she_o may_v well_o step_n out_o of_o her_o nest_n yea_o and_o almighty_a god_n himself_o will_n perhaps_o take_v she_o now_o and_o then_o out_o from_o thence_o but_o she_o be_v not_o yet_o fit_a for_o a_o flight_n because_o her_o virtue_n be_v not_o yet_o grow_v to_o be_v of_o full_a strength_n nor_o have_v she_o yet_o experience_n for_o the_o knowledge_n of_o danger_n nor_o do_v she_o yet_o understand_v the_o mischief_n which_o grow_v by_o put_v too_o much_o trust_v in_o her_o own_o force_n and_o now_o this_o be_v that_o which_o destroy_v i_o and_o both_o for_o this_o and_o for_o all_o thing_n there_o will_v be_v great_a necessity_n of_o a_o director_n and_o of_o conversation_n with_o person_n who_o be_v spiritual_a indeed_o it_o be_v true_a i_o be_o full_o persuade_v that_o when_o almighty_a god_n do_v once_o bring_v a_o soul_n to_o this_o state_n he_o will_v not_o leave_v to_o 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which_o he_o have_v do_v we_o as_o to_o make_v we_o be_v punish_v for_o they_o but_o that_o rather_o they_o will_v help_v to_o obtain_v pardon_n for_o we_o so_o much_o the_o soon_o as_o for_o person_n who_o have_v belong_v to_o his_o house_n and_o have_v have_v the_o honour_n to_o eat_v as_o man_n use_v to_o say_v of_o his_o bread_n let_v they_o remember_v his_o word_n and_o consider_v how_o he_o have_v proceed_v with_o i_o who_o even_o weary_v myself_o with_o offend_v his_o divine_a majesty_n before_o he_o will_v forbear_v or_o fail_v to_o pardon_v i_o for_o he_o never_o grow_v unwilling_a to_o give_v nor_o be_v it_o ever_o possible_a to_o draw_v his_o mercy_n dry_a and_o so_o let_v not_o we_o be_v weary_a of_o ever_o receive_v favour_n at_o his_o hand_n let_v he_o be_v bless_v for_o ever_o amen_n and_o let_v all_o creature_n praise_v he_o the_o twenty_o chapter_n wherein_o she_o treat_v of_o the_o difference_n between_a union_n and_o rapt_v and_o declare_v what_o kind_n of_o thing_n 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in_o it_o as_o i_o be_o not_o well_o able_a to_o express_v for_o it_o be_v a_o interior_a delight_n which_o comfort_v my_o whole_a soul_n and_o this_o be_v no_o mere_a imagination_n or_o fancy_n nor_o a_o thing_n which_o have_v happen_v to_o i_o only_o once_o but_o very_o often_o and_o when_o i_o observe_v it_o with_o most_o attention_n i_o think_v it_o be_v as_o if_o a_o body_n who_o be_v much_o trouble_v with_o heat_n and_o thirst_n shall_v drink_v a_o draught_n of_o very_a cold_a water_n which_o shall_v refresh_v he_o even_o to_o his_o heart_n desire_n and_o heerupon_o i_o also_o consider_v that_o all_o those_o thing_n which_o be_v ordain_v by_o the_o church_n be_v of_o great_a importance_n and_o moment_n and_o it_o be_v matter_n even_o of_o much_o regalo_n to_o i_o that_o those_o word_n which_o the_o consolation_n church_n use_v and_o say_v shall_v have_v the_o power_n to_o make_v holie-water_n become_v of_o so_o very_o different_a a_o condition_n from_o such_o other_o as_o be_v 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beseech_v your_o reverence_n my_o good_a father_n to_o beg_v of_o almighty_a god_n that_o he_o will_v either_o take_v i_o quick_o to_o himself_o or_o else_o i_o beseech_v his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o he_o give_v i_o power_n to_o serve_v he_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o humble_o beseech_v almighty_a god_n that_o what_o i_o have_v write_v here_o may_v be_v of_o some_o use_n to_o your_o reverence_n and_o i_o have_v not_o do_v it_o without_o some_o trouble_n in_o regard_n of_o the_o little_a convenience_n which_o i_o have_v but_o happy_a shall_v this_o trouble_n be_v if_o i_o have_v chance_v to_o hit_v any_o thing_n right_a and_o if_o our_o bless_a lord_n may_v receive_v some_o one_o only_a act_n of_o praise_n by_o occasion_n thereof_o i_o shall_v esteem_v myself_o to_o be_v full_o pay_v though_o your_o reverence_n shall_v burn_v it_o all_o immediate_o after_o and_o yet_o i_o can_v not_o wish_v that_o this_o shall_v happen_v till_o those_o three_o person_n have_v see_v it_o of_o who_o 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letter_n write_v by_o the_o glorious_a s._n teresa_n to_o her_o ghostly_a father_n who_o have_v command_v she_o to_o write_v she_o own_o life_n for_o as_o much_o as_o may_v concern_v her_o manner_n of_o prayer_n and_o the_o favour_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v show_v she_o and_o this_o letter_n do_v she_o send_v to_o he_o together_o with_o the_o book_n itself_o the_o holie-ghost_n be_v always_o with_o your_o reverence_n amen_n it_o will_v not_o be_v amiss_o even_o almost_o to_o exaggerate_v the_o service_n which_o now_o i_o be_o do_v to_o your_o reverence_n that_o so_o you_o may_v even_o hold_v yourself_o to_o be_v the_o more_o oblige_v to_o take_v very_o particular_a and_o great_a care_n to_o recommend_v i_o to_o almighty_a god_n and_o this_o i_o may_v well_o presume_v to_o do_v since_o it_o have_v cost_v i_o so_o very_o dear_a to_o see_v myself_o thus_o set_v down_o in_o writing_n and_o to_o have_v bring_v by_o occasion_n thereof_o so_o many_o of_o my_o great_a misery_n to_o my_o 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