thou hast made is good if it be put for that vse â—or which thou madst it Do not we see that euen Spiders and Serpents do draw the venom from the earth both for the purging it and also for a farther vse that man therof maks and yet these to our seeming are of the least worth as to good among thy creatures But it is our mis vsingâ— abusing and mis-applying thy creatures that makes the world turn vpside down The hail thunder storms rain snow did the three Children in the furnace inuite to praise thee as good in themselues being made by thee But nothing is so good in this world but it may be peruerted and abused For if man whose soul was made by thee in such purity by sin becometh so foul how can this choose but breed disorder in the world al things therein being giuen by thee to be disposed by him and vsed by him as â—â—lpâ— to â—â—rue thee while we liue heer But ô my God I wil speak to thee and I wil cal vpon thee who art Wisedâ—m it-self If thou smile at my folly yet behold me sinner and instruct me in thy Law which is sweet aboue al delights of the world and to serue thee for loue is that which I only desire In al my miseries and afflictions of body and soul thou despisâ—st not any soul flying to thee and dilating my-self to thee I do comfort and strengthen my hart which aspireth to nothing as thou knowst by this my speaking to tâ—ee but to ease my soul by begging help of thee and declaring to thee my only friend my sins and miseries For if we fly from tâ—ee whither go we but out oâ— one darknes into another Who can discouer our wounds to vs but thy-fâ—lf who when we acknowledge them dost also cure the languishing diseases of our very souls O in thy light let me see light that so al impâ—diments may be remoued between thy Godnes and my souâ— My â—oul can neuer return to thee til it â—e purged and purifyed by graceâ—nd â—nd Mercy Of my-self I can do nothing Thou therefor that madst and redeemedst me saue me who euery moment should perish if I were not assisted by thee I see nothing or hear any thing but it giueth me new cause to praise thee and to seek thee aboue al gifts graces and creatures Grant me therefor to serue thee in that maner thou wouldst be serued by meâ— For I am not able to do any thing good of my self Let me by Humility and truâ— obedience return to thee from whom for my sins I deserue to be separated with the diuels eternally but thy Mercy which is aboue al thy works pardon me and giue me Grace to liue better heerafter O my God me thinks some times I haue so liuely a feeling of my own nothing and see so plainly that we depend wholy of thy grace and Mercy that I wonder how it is possible I should anâ— more be able to presume of my-self in any thing whatsoeuer But alas this passeth away and like dust carried away with the winde so is my soul with vanity In which my sin and misery I groan to thee from the bottom of my soul who art my helper and my deliuerer from al mine enemies wherof the greatest is my self and to thee I declare my iniquities which are without end or measure to the end I may glorify thee the more who shewest mercy to me and reiectest not the most disloyal of al thy Maiesties seruants For which let heauen and earth praise thee seeing I am not able by any thing to shew gratitude to thee For I caÌ„ do nothing but declare thy Mercy and beseech thysâ—lf to supply my defect in praising thee For thou only canst do it as I desire it should be done The very Seraphins are too short of being able according to thy worth to praise thee and al thy Angels and â—aints accompt themselues as dumb in comparison of thy deserts from them For al thy sweet Mercy be thou thereâ— for by al not as able but as willing to praise tâ—ee magnifyed for euer and euer Amen THE XLII CONFESSION O My Lord and my God If none haue much forgiuen them but those that loue much what wil become of me This day we read in our Office that Saint Marie Magdalen coming to thy feet which she watered with her reares heard that comfortable answer from thee to wit Go in peace thy sinnes are forgiuen thee but it was out of this regard that she loued much This answer thou madst to her whose hart in silence spoak vnto thee doth much comfort my sinful soul. But yet when I remember how void I am of that which was the necessary disposition for her soul to hear those comfortable words thy sins are forgiuen thee go in peace it draweth teares â—rom mine eyes to see how far my soul is destitute of that pure loue which preuaileth with thy diuine Maiesty What shal I say What shal I do Or wherein shal I hope I am not fit to plead for my-self my sinnes indeed are so many and so great and as for the loue which only thou desirest behold my soul is destitute of it For if I haue any towards thee my God it is but a sensible childish loue which is a loue little beseeming the bestowing vpon such a God who is al Good Beawty Wisedom yea euen Goodnes and Loue it-self to whom is due a loue which is able to suffer al things for this loue is a strong loue more strong then death it-self the which kind of loue is far from me who am blown down with the least blast of temptation and cannot endure any disgrace desolation or difficulty whatsoeuer as it beseems a true louer of his But notwithstanding my poueâ—ty and misery yet I wil hope in him and wil approach to his feet who is Mercy itself There my Lord and my God I wil in filence sigh and weep both for my sinnes and for my defect in louing thee who art worthy of al loue and Praise whatsoeuer There I wil beg this loue so much to be desired There I wil wish and long for itâ— and from thy feet I wil not depart til thou denounce to me thy sins are forgiuen thee and saiest to my soul go in peace This voice I long to hear in my hart that I may with the voice of exaltation praise thee for euer Amen THE LIII CONFESSION AMen Amen dico vobis quia receperunt mercedem suam Math. 6. Amen Amen I say â—nto you they haue receiued their reward These thy words my Lord and my God come into my mind so often as my thoughts dare to think of hauing deserued any reward at tâ—y hands and serue as a motiue to subiect my soul totally to thy diuine Maiesty before whom now I do professe and acknowledg that my desirs and endeauours are so defectiue in comparison of what is to thee due from me that I may and
defiled and deformed soul doth aspire Behold I do extol now thy deare seruice to the skie professing and protesting that there is no liberty so sweet as to be bound and obliged by vowes to serue thee for loue Thou true and most blessed God how didst thou with a most sweet and seuere kind of Mercy receaue chek and conuince me straying and flying from thee by shamefully seeking that in thy creatures which is only to be found in thee to wit comfort and peace O Lord I am thy seruant say vnto my soul I am thy Saluation and al that is within me shal say Quis similis tibi Deus meus VVho is like vnto thee my Lord God Behold I haue had an auersion from al that which thou louest and an inclination to al which thou hatest But thou hast broken my bands and I wil offer thee a Sacrifice of Praise submitting henceforth my stifneck to thine easy yoke and my shoulders to thy light but then Vnderneath a picture of B. Iohn de Cruce she writ as followeth viz. O Blessed and pure Saint pray for me sinful wretch who am not worthy to cal vpon thee yet coafiding in thine inflamed charity I commit and commend my-self to thy sweet protection now and at the dreadful howre of my death remember me I beseech thee Amen To some Collections which she drew out of S. Augustins Confessions she added as followeth Good God be merciful to mine iniquities for this deare Saints sake of thine whose Humility doth so astonish me that I cannot choose but cry with a loud voice in my hart O how admirable art thou in thy Saints What are his whole Books of Confessions but a profound acknowledgment of his sinnes whieh he doth not only confesse to thee but to al the world to the end that al may perpetually praise thy Mercy But O my God for this Humility of his thou hast highly exalted him for which be thou eternally magnified and praised by al creatures He was one of those sinners for whose conuersation There was more ioy in Heauen then vpon ninty nine Iust and not without great cause seeing he was to be a chief pillar in thy Church and one who might and did draw infinit sinners by his words and writings out of the mire and dreggs of sinne and taught them to submit themselues to thiue easy yoke and to seâ—ue thee for loue and to glory in nothing but thee Yea what is wanting in his words that may inuite our souls to loue thee with al our harts with al our strengths and our neighbour as our selues Who can speaâ—e in the words of thine own Oracles more comfortably to sinners then he hath done â—n fine hâ—s words are so amorously sweet in thy Praises that euen my frozen soul had been melted thereâ— by into thy praise He for thy sake be an Aduocate and Intercessor to thee for me the most sinful and contemptible of al thâ— seruants he I say to whom many sinnes wâ—re forgiuen because he loued much whom I desire together with al the Celestial Court to Adore and Praise thee for me who am not worthy to name thee who be euer blessed Amen In a Collection which she was making out of the Booke of Psalmes she added to some verses as followeth Psal. 23. vers 6. THis is the generation of them that seeke hâ—m of them that seek the face of the God of Iacob I pray God it may proue so with vs to his Honour and Glory â—sâ—l 31. veâ—s â—0 I wil giue thee vnderstanding and wil instruct thee in the way tâ—at thou shalt go I wâ—l fasten mine eyes vpon thee who is not wholy inflamed with a desire to seeke after God alone to heare such a promise from his own mellifluous mouth Psal. 35. vers 10. Because with thee is the fountain of life and in thy light we shal see light I beseech al those deuout souls that shal peruse this book to labour carefully for that light which the Prophet heer speaketh of which proceedeth from loue and not from human wisedom This light by which we shal discerne truth from falshood is gotten by conuerâ—ing with Almighty God and humbling our selues vnder his mighty hand This light hath taught many their way to God that could neither write nor read Sweet Iesus make vs of the number of these little ones to whom this light is reuealed which is hidden from the wise and prudent which is bestowed vpon those that faithfully adhere to God and not on those that glory rather in themselues them in him He be Blessed and Praised by al for euer and euer Amen Psal. 86. vers 5. Reueale thy way to our Lord and hope in him and he wil do it A comfortable saying for those that God permits stil to remain do whâ—t they can in their imperfections v. 7. Haue no emulation in him that appeareth in his way v. 6. Be subiect to our Lord and pray him Note this wel v. 11. The meeke shal inherit the land and shal be delighted in multitude of peace If we truly labour for his peace which is in much Patience the God of Peace wil be amongst vs. v. 25. When he shal fal he shal not be bruised because our Lord putteth his hand vnder O what an incouradgment is this to a poore frail soul Let vs notwithstanding our imperfections confidently and amoâ—ously when we fail hope in his Mercy and then He wil heal and helpe vs who makes vs so many sweet promises VVho be blessed by al creatutes for euer and euer Amen v. 26. I haue been yong for I am old and I haue not seene the iust forsaken nor his seed seeking bread Why do we distruct then who haue dedicated our selues wholy to God fearing ro depend only of his diuine Prouidenâ—e which is the greatest happines in this world and so much to be desired if we had so much loue and couradge as we should Psal. 38 v. 8. Doubtles al things are vanity euery man liuing O my poor soul take good notice of this verse Adhere to our Lord whose years neuer fail and whose helpe is alwaies at hand Giue that to God that is Gods and that to Caesar that is Caesars marke what the Prophet faith in the same Psalme viz. And now what is my Expectation is it not our Lord and my substance is with thee Psal. 39. vers 15. But thou O Lord make not thy considerations far from me thy Mercy and thy truth haue alwayes receaued me O be thou euer blessed for it by al creatures my God and Al. Amen Psal. 40. vers 1. Blessed is the man that vnderstandeth concerning the needy and the poor in the euil day our Lord wil deliuer him O my poor soul though thou hast not where with to releeue the poor in thâ— iâ— huÌ„ger thirst yet dispaire not to gaine this blessing that our Lord wil protâ—ct thee in the euil day which thou standest so much need off For to pray for
intend Yet what is ill reforme in thee And this will all amend As farre as he doth thinke it good Who is most iust and wise He will thee by afflictions purge From what displease his eyes Willt thou of all that loue thy God From suffring be exempt O no but blisse as others do thy God and liue content Amidst the various accidents That do to thee befall Committ thy selfe and all to God Who seekes our good in all Thy selfe art blind and cannot iudge What is the best for thee But he doth pearce into all things How hâ—dd so ere thâ—y be My hart shall only this desire That thou my Lord dispose Euen as thou pleasest in all things Till these myne eys thou close By death which I so much desire Because it will procure Me to enioy my God my all Where I shall be secure That none from me can take my Lord But for eternity I shall enioy my only good And to him euer be Vnited by a knott of Loue Which nothing shall vnity But will remayne as permanent As his Diuinity O happy houre when willt thou come And set my Spirit free That I may loue and prayse my God For perpetuity Contemplating his glorious face With all that him adore Singing with them his sweetest prayse For eâ—er and euer more In this is such and so great comfort and peace that well may the soule be tearmed to receaue a hundred folde in this life who despiseth it-selfe and all other things that it may finde thee O how free is such a soule to fly with the wings of Loue to the throne of thy Diuine Maiesty Neuer was there or can be imagined such a Loue as is betweene an humble soule and thee Who can expresse what passeth between such a soule and thee Verily neither man nor Angell is able to do it sufficiently and the more such a soule knowes of thee the more sound becometh her humility the which thy selfe only can teach one perfectly and it is impossible to gett it in verity and perfection but by conuersing with thee O my God bestow this heauenly gift on me which only findeth fauour before thee Those that possesse it are able in and by thee to beare all things to vnderstand all things as farre as it is necessary for them For one learneth more in Prayer of thee in one hower then all creatures in the world could teach one in fifty yeares for that which thou teachest is sound solid and secure because it tends to nothing but to loue thee neglect it selfe Thy words bring force strength in themselues thy words are words of peace to the soule thy words are not like the words of men which passe as a sound through the ayr buâ— thyne pearse the very bottome of our soules Lett me hearken therefore to thee who speaketh loue and most certaine truth The wisedome of the world is foolishnes before thee But thy wisedome is much to be desired and for it willingly ought we to giue all our substance to it we ought to be espowsed and by it if we will be happy all our actions ought to be gouerned Allthough thou didst say that vnlesse we become as litle children we could not enter into the kingdome of heauen yet withall thou hast said that we ought to be wise as serpents and simple as doues where thou puttest that we should be wise before we be simple and not simplicity before wisedome whereof I aske thee the reason O my Lord with all the humility I am possibly able For it seems to meâ— that thereinâ— as in all thy words there is a hidden Mystery tell me I say my God of whom in all cases and doubts I aske solution and many times by it thou dost make many things manifest to my simplicity tell me â— say what was the reason Verily it seemeth to me that thou biddest vs be wise before we become simple becaus that is only true Simplicity which followeth true Wisedome For we cannot become truly simplified in our soule but by thy heauenly gift of true wisedome For there is a simplicity which is without wisedome and discretion which litle auayleth to perfection This vertue of Simplicity becometh more and more perfect in the soule as she increaseth in humility and charity yet at the very first of our conuersion this is in some sort practised by vs if we do as we ought to do As for example to become pleasing to thee it is absolutly necessary that a soule walke simply and sincerly before thy selfe and all men and read and heare obey and perâ—forme all in a simple and humble maner not searching into that which belongeth not vnto her this I say thou dost exact for nothing is more odious to thee then the contrary practise But yet this doth not diminish our naturall reason but maketh it more cleere and able to comprehend what is necessary for vs. This vertue also therefor bestow vpon me who euen in my nature as thou well knowest did euer aboue all things hate dissembling and dissimulation O Lord poore as I am and most sinnefull thus thou â—eest how I presume to speake vnto â—hâ—e but easily shall I obtayn pardon of thee becaus thou ouerflowest with â—he aboundance of thy mercy for whâ—ch Glory Prayse Adoration be to thee who art my Lord and my God and only desired by me I haue no friend to speake or treat with but thee and some of thy Saints to whom thou hast giuen charge of me and to whom I fly when my sinnes affright me amongst whom next after thy Deare Mother the Queene of mercy is my beloued S. Augustine O Glorious Saint whose hart did burne And flame with Loue Diuine Remember me most sinnefull wretch Who hunger staru'd doth pine For want of that which thou enioyest In such aboundant measure It is my God that I doe meane My ioy and all my treasure Thy words O Saint are truly sweet Becaus thou dost addresse Them vnto him who 's only meet Our mis'ries to redresse At whose intorcession much hast thou done for me Honour them my Lord for me who am so poore thatâ— haue nothing to present them or thee only a desire of being gratefull to thee who be by all eternally prayâ—sed Amen It was S. Augustine the Doctor and amorous seruant of God that she heere meant THE SECOND CONFESSION Omnis ex vobis qui non renunti at omnibus quae possident non potest meus esse discipulus Qui habet aures audiendi audiat All you who renounce not all you possesse cannot be my disciple who hath eares of hearing let him heare THESE are thy words my Lord which though they seeme hard at first yet being explicated to our soules by thee they become most easy and sweet to performe Teach me therefor my God I beseech thee for thy mercies sake teach me I say how I â—hall perform this to the glory of thyâ—oly â—oly name Thou hast inflamed my â—art as thou
are all the helps we haue Intended and haue been Imparted and bestowed by thee That we might liue alone To thee who satiat'st pure soules With ioyes that are vnknown And wo to them a thousand times Who interest haue in any Or haue deuided harts to thee After thy gifts so many For thou hast purchased our loue At too too deare a rate To haue a partner in our hart Which iustly thou dost hate O this thy wrong makes Angells blush O make it farre from me Since that I am both body and soul All conseerate to thee And I also will greiue with them To see thee haue such wrong From soules selected by thy self To sing with them the song Of Loue and praise to thee O God And euen in this place To Contemplate thee as we may O sweet and happy grace If we would dy vnto our selues And all things ells but thee It would be naturall to our soules For to ascend and be Vnited to our Center deare To which our soules would hy Being as proper then to vs As fire to vpwards fly O lett vs therefor loue my God For Loue pertaines to him And lett our soules seek nothing ells But in this Loue to swimme Till we absorpt by his sweet Loue Return from whom we came Where we shall melt into that Loue Which ioyeth me to name And neuer can I it too much Speak of or it desire Since that my God who 's Loue it selfe Doth only Loue require Come therefor all and lett vs loue And with a pure aspect Regard our God in all we do And he will vs protect O that all things vpon the earth Re-ecchoed with thy praise My euerlasting glorious God The Ancient of dayes And it I wish with all my soul Incessantly to sing But seeing this I cannot do My sighes to heauen shall ring Yea if I writ out all the sea Yet could I not expresse The ioy and comfort I do feele In what thou dost possesse No gifts or grace nor comforts heere How great so ere they be Can satiat my longing soul While I possesse not thee For thou art all my harts desire Yea all that I do craue In earth or heauen now and euer Thou art all that I would haue And I do wish with all my soul That to thee I could pray With all my hart and all my strength Ten thowsand times a day Lett peoples tribes and tongues confesse Vnto thy Maiesty And lett vs neuer cease to sing Sanctus Sanctus to thee These are his words my Lord God which whosoeuer practiseth shall find a Spirituall internall life so easy sweet secure and void of all questions that they will walk euen in this bannishment where our life is tearmed and that most iustly a continuall warrefare with a heauenly peace and security For to that soul who proposeth nothing to herself but thy selfe alone aboue all gifts and creatures what can interpose it selfe for to harm her while she remaineth thus confident and humble between Maiestyâ— and her soul. Certainly so subiect doth such an one liue to thee and to all others in that maner as shall be exacted by thee that there can nothing carry her away while thus it stands with her to any errour of vanity and her loue is so founded in true Charity and practised with such Humility and so in her very soul that nothing can interrupt her conuersation with thee Besides in a soul who walketh vpon this secure ground of only seeking thee and only resting in thee such a diuine light doth shine that she iudgeth according to the iustice of thy Diuine will and not according to sense or custome which in these blind days takes place allmost in all things of true reason and this for want of hauing recourse to thee my Lord who art the only true light and of this defect it proceeds that the diuine ways of Loue are now held so perillous and insecure in which my God thou hast an infinit wrong seeing that we were made only to Loue and attend to the praise of thee our Lord. It is true those who will pretend to lead a Spiriâ—uall life and yet seek not in all to deny themselues but desire this gift or this grace this fauour or that comfort lett them pretend for their excuse in it whatsoeuer they please do oâ—ten times miserably deceiue not only themselues but also many others and bring an internal life wholy into a scorne and contempt to the preiudice of their owne soules and also of many others But I wish that those that do this simply by being for a Spirituall life vnapt might giue themselues to that which by Superiors should be found most fitting for them and noâ— be a cause that thy sweet mercy anâ— goodnes should haue such wrong as that other soules who were fit should be hindred from hauing relation to thee by which their soules would be turned wholy into Loue by a vehement desire and longing after thee that one thing that is only necessary and from this house To witt of the Benedictine Nunn◠〈◊〉 Cambray The same she meanes for Paâ—â—â— issued thence and where her natural Sister of the same Spirit Gouernes at present I beseech thee for thy own sake keepe this misery which of all other is the greatest that I can comprehend oâ— imagin THE EIGTH CONFESSION BLESSED is that Simplicity saith my foremencioned Author in his fourth book of the Following of Christ that forsaketh the difficullt way of many questions Those are his words in his said diuine Booke where he proueth the way of Loue to be so easy and secure as I haue before signified O how happy are they who follow thee in Humility and Simplicity of hart for these haue few doubts which are the cause of questions The more a soul is void of doubts the more capable is she speaking ordinarily of these secret wayes of the Diuine Loue For commonly her way must be to resign herself to thy will What roome is there left then for questions Yet when it is thy will that in a reall doubt she ask thou teachest her how to proceed in it that it may be a help to her soul and no hindrance which seldome happens when without thy leaue and sending she presumeth to endanger herself to be intangled by falling out of one doubt and question into fiue hundred others Lett it be with my soul O Lord as it is said of Anna the Mother of thy Prophet Samuel that she turned her countenance no more towards seuerall waies For hauing been taught and instructed by thy sweet mercy that One thing is to me only necessary lett me not loose my selfe by following or trying those seuerall waies of which she speaketh I haue as thou knowst my God had sufficient triall of them to the great misery and difficulty of my poore soul for that time lett me now sing and that from the bottom of my soul that it is good for me to
adhere to my God besides whom what is to me in heauen or what desire I on earth Only thy selfe my Lord is desired by me and only thou canst comfort and satisfy me It becometh me to become wholy subiect to thee so that for time and eternity thou maist dispose of me as it pleases thee which with my whole soul I beseech thee to do and then I â—hall be as happy as I desire to be Thou knowst that since I was taught what it was to loue thee I neuer durst wish or desire any thing For it appeareth plaine to me that my blindnes and ignorance is so great that euen in the desire of that which in it self is good I may be extreamly deceiued Only thy-selfe knoweth what is most to thy honour and best for me and therefor whatsoeuer thou dost shall be best welcome to me I desire no liberty to choose any thing besides thee because it suffiseth me if thou wilt become all in all and aboue all to me which desire I know is pleasing to thee and therefor I beseech thee inlardg my hart and soulin this longing and sighing after thee my only beloued Lett my hart be free to thee For none deserues any part therein besids thee O how great a greif would it be to me if any câ—â—ated thing should be an impediment to my being wholy thine Verily if I should find that my will were false to thee by desiring any thing but thee nothing in heauen or earth could comfort me while thus it stood between my hart and thee Giue me therefor grace to be faithfull to thee who hath shewed such an infinit mercy towards me as to lett me know of the way of Loue whereby all Crosses become tolerable to me Neuer shall I be satisfied with blessing thee and thanking thee for this thy Mercy All that loue thee praise thee for me who am not worthy to name thee Verily if I be now vngratfull to thee it is pitty thy earth should beare me Yet thou knowst my extreame frailty and therefor in all haue mercy on me and in the end saue me who putt all my hope in thee What shall I render for this thy infinit benefit bestowed on me Verily if I should be despised by all the world as I iustly deserue to be and should haue and feele the paines of all that euer haue suffered for thee and should be shutt vp in a place which were only big inough to containe me and were as vnworthy of them as indeed I beleiue and acknowledg my selfe to be debarred of the Sacraments by which such grace to soules is so abouÌ„dantly imparted by thee and were held for a reprobate by all that are most esteemed and respected by me yet this were little to endure in requitall of this benefit which I haue heere recounted before thee and which I read with so much ioy that it is a solace to me in those difficulties which are only known to thee and which would if I were not exceedingly holpen by thee quite ouerwhelme me for as it is well known to thee they do oftentimes make all my strength decay so that I seem to be left without so much as is sufficient to go euen about the house But when I haue been thus dealt with by thee I haue been withall enabled more feruently to praise thee And thy intention by it was apparant to me For by it thou didst so abate pride that was most strong in me that all I could haue done or deuised or all other creatures with me could not so much in many yeares haue humbled me and haue bread such a contempt in my soul of resting or taking delight in any thing which was lesse then thee Thus my God thou dealest with me who as I haue often said am not worthy to name thy Maiesty and I see if we will but giue our selues wholy to the seeking after thee and dispose our selues to suffer whatsoeuer it shall please thee we shall not need to take care for any thing but how to please and praise thee For thou willt prouide Crosses such and so much as will be sufficient to make vâ— becom that thou wouldst â—aue vs to be and in those of thy sending there is no danger if we will endeauour to be faithfull to thee and in them call often vpon thee But when we place such perfection in suffering that we think we do nothing vnlesse we be in matters of suffring and are as it were loath to loose time as we think we do by being without occasion of suffering we oftentimes faile in those Crosses which â—e in such an humor do lay vpon our selues or thrust our selues into without thy leaue and disable vs from vndergoing and suffering those which then or afterwards are by thee thought to be fitter for vs and we seeing our selues to faile in these of our own vndertaking which we made our selues sure to be able to stand vnto grow to be deiected yea sometimes euen so farr as to mistrust all the course we had held before For we remembring we endured greater matters before being of Gods sending and through his grace presumed now allso of that strength which then we had which was not as we conceiued ours but our Lords who rewardeth no works but his owne If we will therefor in all liue secure lett vs desire nothing no not euen to haue matter of suffering saue so farr as it shall be his pleasure For certainâ—ly to suffer for him is so great an honour that one may iustly esteem herself vnworthy thereof and yet it is a thing so necessary to aduance vs in the way of Loue that we need not doubt but God will prouide it when he sees it fitt and when he doth send it come it which way it will it will be no impediment to a faithfull soule but her only way in this as well as all other things for to liue secure is to be as a little child by humble Resignation and lett God do with vs in all what he will For only by this meanes we can liue in Peace auoid the snares of selfe loue and the diuell For a soul that is apt to esteem greatly of a little suffering and thinketh when she hath in it a slight occasion that it layeth open the way to great matters between God and her soul God vseth to lead her by another way till she see and acknowledge her errour and many times she falleth into sinn and imperfection by her greedines to aduance her soul by vntimely suffering which at last maketh her cry out to thee O Lord how great is my blindnes and frailty help me therefor my God in all these miseries which heere thy sinnefull seruant speaketh of as a guilty person to thee Great great is my folly and frailty and therefor for help and strength I fly vnto thee spare my soul sinning before thee and lett me now begin to loue only thee help me in all my Lord
through their pride and forgettfullnes of their own nothing and of the greatnes of thy Maiesty which pride aboue all things deliuer me from I beseech thee becaus it makes soules so odious before thy self and all that loue thee Lett me giue all Glory to thee who without any desert of myne hast thus sweetly with Grace preuented me for which be thou euer by all Praised and Adored Amen THE XIII CONFESSION O Lord whose Power Maiesty and Wisedome haue no end haue mercy on me sinner and giue me leaue to speak vnto thee my God and aske thee whither men are pleasing to thee becaus they abound with human knowledg And behold thou affirmest no but vnhappy are they who can pearce into all things if they be ignorant of thee Lett me therefor loue and then I shall not be ignorant of that knowledg which maketh soules so pleasing in thyne eyes to wit knowledge of thee and my self O Loue which in lightnest soules and inflamest harts wâ—th chast loue flow into my soul This loue is honourable wisedome and though the enioyers thereof be accounted fooles by the wise of this world yet thou hast another opinion of them and their humble soules find much fauour in thy pure eyes my God! With this Loue did those abound of whom S. Paul speaketh that they went vp and down in goats skinnes needy despised hidden in dennes and caues of whom the world was not worthy yet some of thy Saints became very honourable and glorious euen in the eyes of the world the which was forced to acknowledge thee great in and by them and there was no resisting of thy wisedome speaking by them amongst which of these thy seruants was the great S. Augustin Doctor and light of thy Church a most ardent louer of thee my God Hee in those books of his that I haue seene turneth his speaches so to thy Maiesty that his words thereby become sweeter then ordinary and while he declareth his own misery he giueth to vnderstand to vs thy most aboundant mercy that all that desire to loue thee my Godâ— may being inuited by him praise thee with him and for the fauour shewed by thee to him O that all to whom thou offrest the fauour of bestowing on them thy diuine Loue if they would after sinning by true Humility dispose themselues for it would become by his example gratefull to thee and loue thee as thou wouldst by them be beloued O how soon dost thou by thy Grace wipe out the sinnâ—â— of such who now detesting their former il liues do striue by humble loue to become grateâ—ull to thee for thy preuenting Mercy O Lord my God though thou hast forgiuen me much yet I am farr from louing thee much Those who now enioy thee that haue heertofor beene sinners as I be they Intercessors to thee for meâ— and be thou euer praised for thy infinit mercy by all thy Maiesties creatures for euer anâ— euer Amen THE XIV CONFESSIONâ— O Lord my God who sweetly disposest all things giue thy poore contemptible creature leaue to speake vnto thee who art the only desire of my soul and my hope from my youth and entierly beloued of my hart To thee I will speak and write not as to one a far of but to stirr vp my soul to Loue thee alone and to draw occasions out of all things to praise and exalt thee whose mercies are aboue all thy works To whom should I make my moane in all my miseries but to thy self who art my God and All and who art neerer to me then I am to my self To whom should I go to be instructed but to the fountain of all wisedome Behold men change their mindes and almost euery man differeth in opinion from another in matters that are indifferent and so great is my ignoranâ—e and blindnes naturally that vnâ—esse thou instruct me I shall all waies â—auer and neuer come to any true â—erfection of knowledg They stand at â—oo great a hazard who confide in â—hemselues and cast not their hope â—holy vpon thee All creatures are vnstable and those that seeke not â—hee aboue all creatures but putt their trust more in men then in thee will find no true peace in their soules O that I did truly Loue for by Loue only my soul shall becom capable of vnderstanding truth Loue is humble â—eaceable subiect to thee in all things The soul that loueth thee is more conuersant in heauen then on earth and what heere she of necessity must admit of serues to her rather as a cessation then any consolation The soul that Loues findeth occasion in all and by all things to praise thee my God and to humble it self Such are willingly subiect for thee and do see how odious it is to thee to see that subiects should contemn contradict or withstand thâ— power in Superiors and make theiâ— imperfection a colour for our sinneâ— If it be right between our soules anâ— thee we shall gladly obey thee speaâ—ke thou or ordain thou by whom thoâ—â— pleasest Teach me therefor to obey for thou only canst instruct me whâ— true humble Obedience is If thou dâ— not teach me I may perhaps giue to Caesar what is tâ—yne and deny to giue Caesar what is due to him by thy will Let me obey therefor for theeâ— and in order to thy will and with an internall regard of thee whose due is all the subiection and loue that can be giuen by my poor soul. Open the eyes of my soul that I may see what thou exactest in all things Instruct me by whom and in what maner thoâ— pleasest So I may but know what thy will and pleasure is it suffizeth thy poore seruant Giue me grace to obey thee my God with all that Loue thee for euer Amen THE XV. CONFESSION O Lord my God what soul that truly loues thee can complain what difficulties soeuer she endures or how great a desolation soeuer obscures her soul or how great paines soeuer she sustaines seeing thou whom she loueth more then her life and self art always the same beholding with an amorous and louing eye the louing soul afflicted by thee or by thy permission rather to try her fidelity then to oppresse her with such a burthen that might separate her from her only beloued for seeing nothing is dreaded by her but to be seperated from her God she holding humility and confidence thou O Lord wilt neuer permit her to be ouercome For thou makest the quarrel thyne own thus fought by vs and the victory ours though indeed gained by thee not by our own selues O how happy am I in thy Power and Glory Verily though I were to return to my own nothing yet I could not account my self void of an infinit happines seeing my God who is more mine then â— am my own would remain and be the same in all Wisedome and Maiesty Thâ—s is the repose of my labour and the crown of my glory in which I will exult in my greatest
Religious of the English Conuent of Cambray of the holy Order of Sâ— Bennet pious fspring of that Noble and Glorious Martyr sir Thomas More Chancellor of England contayning nothing but a true practise of that diuine Booke of the Imitation of Christ restored of late to the true Author Iohn Gerson Venerable Abbot of the same Order approoued by al for the mirrour of Christian and Religious perfection needs no Approbation but a serious recommendation to al such as desire a true pattern to attain to the perfect loue of God by affectiue prayer and practise thereof Sic censeo ego Parisiis 1. Aprilis 1658. Fr. VVALGRAVIVS Doct. Theol. Monachus Prior Benedictinus CONFESSIONES AMANTIS THE CONFESSIONS OF A louingâ— pious soule to allmighty God THE FIRST CONFESSION MY Lord we often read in our office of the Breuiary that those that forsake all for thy sake shall receaue a hundred folde in this life and life euerlasting in the next This we read and heare this was spoken by thy owne mouth and therefor of the truth thereof we cannot doubt nor in the hope â—hereof can we be deceiued presupâ—osing we on our part be not wanting of that which is necessary to the perâ—ormance of that which thou exactest But tell me I beseech thee my Godâ— tell me I say for thy owne sake what iâ— itâ— that thou exactest of them who shalâ— obtaine this thy promise for I see maâ—ny leaue their parents friends acâ—quaintance their fortunes their ricâ— possessions contrey and all and yeâ— is it plaine that they finde not this hundred folde in this life that is the forerunner of the euerlasting in the next For I see their state is a burthen to them and the obligations of Obedience and religious obseruance is esteemed by them a great seruitude and burthen What is the meaning of this my Lordâ— Shall I doubt that those who resolutly and willingly forsaâ—e all the world for for thee would sticke at forsaking themselues also seeing that by forsaking and denying themselues they should find thee in a most particular maner in their soules Is such forsaking of ourselues to be accounted a loosing of our selues O no! but it is a most sweetâ— and happy exchange to leaue oâ—â— ownâ— wills for to performe thine to be subiect for thee to euery liuing creature is not a burthen but the greatest â—iberty in this world But alas my God the reason why we finde thy yoke a burthen is because we beare it not with thee by which only it is to be made an easy yoke If soules who haue actually forsaken the world and in desire themselues also which most comming into ReligioÌ„ are desirous to do were but putt into some course between thee and their soules by those who had the care of them or authority ouer them they would not as thâ—y doe fly backe from their first intention but would euery day more and more by conuersing with thee get more light to know thy will strength to performe it But being ignorant how to conuerse with thee and how in all things to haue relation to thee thy yoke becomes more and more burthensome to them and euery day they fall into new difficulties and inconueniencies and are in danger at last to fall into open rebellion against their lawfull Superiors and some of them into strange friendships a thing which is worthy to be bewailed with blouddy teares that harts capable of thy loue and by profession consecrated therevnto should so miserably loose themselues in powring out themselues where and from whom no true comfort can be found or had O Lord remoue these impediments from those who are thine by so many titles lett them know thee and of thee that they may loue nothing but thee and lett them loue thee that they may know themselues and their owne weaknesâ— and also thy power and Maiesty O my Lord how infinitly is my soule bound to praise and loue thee since by meanes of a faithfull seruant of thine I haue been instructed in thy law and taught how to haue in all things relation to thee my only beloued by which means all Crosses miseries paines disgraces temptations are most tolerable to me I hauing thee so present to whom I may speake or write and by whom though I am contemptible in the eyes as I iustly deserue to be of all the world I am not yet despised or â—eglected for which infinite mercy â—ll praise and honour be giuen to theâ— O when shall I be gratefulâ— to thee Or â—hat shaâ—l I render for all thou bestoâ—est on me I haue nothing but a hart desirous to loue and praise thee but for ability to do either alas my God it is wanting to me O that all loues might be wholy conuerred to thee At least lett those who haue dedicated themselues to thee cease to desire any thing out of thee Send them meanes to know how sweet it is to haue no friend but thee and to be neglected by all but thy sweet mercy O can that soule that loues her God For very shame complaine To any other then himselfe Of what she doth sustaine No way to her was euer sound Nor euer shall there be But taking vp thy Crosse my Lord Thereby to follow thee This is the Way the Truth the Life Which leadeth vnto heauen None is secure but only this Though seeming nere so euen Those that do walke this happyâ— path IESVS doth company But those who go another way Will erre most miserably And in this way do not think much That thou dost much endure No though it be from holy men For God doth this procure That thou maist seeke himselfe alone And putt thy trust in him And not in any creatures liuing How good so ere they seeme For suffring by the meanes of th' ill Will little thee aduance But to be sensur'd by the good Goes neere to thee perchanceâ— Alas we shew but little â—oue If we must choose which way Our Lord must try our Loue to him And not in all obey We must submitt our selues to him And be of cheerefull hart For he expecteth much of them Who be of Maries part For she must beare a censure hard From all without exception But thou O Lord wilt her excuse Who art her soules election If she will patiently sustaine And be to thee attent Thou fauourably willt iudge of her Who know'st her harts intent For all but thou as well she sees May erre concerning her They only iudge as they conceiue But thou canst neuer erre Complaine not therefor louing soule If thou willt be of those Who loue their God more then themselus and Maries part haue chose If all thou dost be taken ill By those of high perfection And further if thou be accus'd To be of some great faction Our Lord will answere all for thee If thou willt hold thy peace And from contentions and complaints Willt patiently surcease Leauing all care vnto thy God And only him
for vaine is the help of man I will therefor confide in thee my God my mercy who be Adored Praised and Exalted for tyme and eternity Amen THE NINTH CONFESSION LEX Domini immaculata conuertens animas testimonium Domini fidele sapientiam praestans paruulis Iustitiae Domini rectae laerificantes corda praeceptum Domini lucidum illuminans oculos The Law of our Lord is immaculate correcting soules the Testimony of our Lord is faithfull giuing Wisedome to little Ones The Iustices of our Lord be right making harts ioyfull the precept of our Lord light some illuminating the eyes These my God are the words of thy Royall Prophet which are as it followeth in the same Psalme to be desired aboue gold and rich pretious stones yea they are more sweet to a louing soul then the honny or the honny combe Lett this Law of thine conuert my soul that it may become one of thy little ones to whom the grace of true Wisedome is oâ—ten promised by thee Lett thy Iustice make my hart ioyfull For in the perâ—ormance thereof is true Peace only to be found They that liue according to this thy Iustice do enioy such a diuìne tranquillity that it cannot be expressed by any pen whatsoeuer None can walk in this path of true Iustice in perfection but the humble Those find out in thy light what is thy best will and pleasure in all things as farr as humane flesh will admitt and perform thy iust will as well as human frailty will reach When we do perform any thing by this iust rule of thy holy will we find an admirable effect theâ—eof in our soul. This is that which by performing in all things we become truly subiect to thee and haue the merit of Obedience which maketh all our actions so noble before thee and of which vertue of Obedience how much or how little our actions partake so much and no more do they deserue reward Worthyly may Obedience be preferred before Sacrifice For it is that which gouerneth heauen and earth and which only deserueth reward in thy sight Happy are they who walk this way For they haue a â—ast euen of the ioyes of heauen For as they there obey thy will so these thy humble soules do also endeauour to do the same This Obedience to thee maketh the Angells as â—ell content with their degree of Glory as to be of the Seraphins who are yet in a farr higher degree in thy Kingdome This maketh the Saints content with theirs this maketh soules on earth who aspire to thee with all their harts to limit their desires with thy good will and pleasure and by this meanes they desire neither life nor death but in it conforme themselues to thy most iust will this maketh them desyre disgrace nor Glory neither paine nor health neither Crosses nor comforts This Obedience to thee and to Superiors for thee made some soules pleasing to thee by liuing in the wildernes and others by liuing in a Community some by liuing to the profit of their neighbour and others by liuing and attending only to thee in their soules some by liuing in high and eminent degree and hauing commaund ouer many others and some by being esteemed abiect and the very scumme of the world and these if they had of their own choice and election chosen the contrary state would neuer haue arriued to true Sanctity Some also by many paines Crosses come to thee some only by an internall affectioÌ„ to thee hauing that in affection which others suffer in act they also are respected by thee By which it appeares how great a subiection is exacted by thee of those who desire to become vnited to thee and neuer can we prosper in a Spirituall life vnlesse we hearken to thee and obserue euen in the least things what thou wouldst haue vs do and go that way thou wouldst haue vs in all things whatsoeuer For we may be sure thou willt lead vs by the way of Abnegation which is the way of the Crosse which if we will walk with humility and simplicity we shall with security arriue at the port of eternall Glory and enioy thee our only beloued in that degree thou hadst ordained for vs from all eternity liue we long or dy we soone For only in thee can we be happy and by thy meere grace can we deserue to enioy thee What we ouercome is so done in thy strength that the glory is wholy due to thee alone and this I find dayly seeing that when I presume of my own strength though it be in a thing which I haue often ouercome and many times farr greater it seemes to me yet I faile in that euen often to the offending thee my Lord in an extraordinary maner From this errour therefor my God heerafter deliuer thy poore contemptible seruant that I may praisâ— thee who art my only strength and hopeâ— Lead me which way thou willt soâ—â— may blesse thee in all and rest in thee aboue all From thee the strong receaue their strength and in thee sinners that haue nothing of our owne haue wherewith to supply all our want thou flyest vp with them who by an ardent loue haue surmounted all created things and are firmely vnited to thee in Spirit and thou also lendest thy sweet hand to thy little and imperfect ones who are of a good will to help them out of the mire and durt of passions and inordinate affections In this mercy my soul doth hope and reioice and I do in my pouerty congratulate the perfections of others beseeching thee to make me partaker of their merits And aboue all out of the aboundance of thy owne store giue me whereâ—ith to retorn to thee for all the merâ—ies thou hast shewed to my sinnefull â—oul Lett me please thee and praise â—hee and desire no more but that thou do with me whatsoeuer thou knowst most to thy honour O that soules would conuert their hart wholy to thee the most desirable beawty to whom if we compare all that is fair which thou hast made they will seeme â—o be without all beawty and light O if by humility soules would dispose themselues for the Diuine Loue what a reformation would there quickly be in the whole world When I remember how many soules seperate themselues by sinfull sinning from thee it pearceth my very soul seeing they forsak him who is an infinit good and a most amiable beawty Remember O Lord for thy own sake our extreame frailty and giue graâ—e that we may all conuert and return by Loue to thy Diuine Maiesty whose mercies are aboue all thy works for which Glory be euer to thee by all for time and eternity Amen THE X. CONFESSION ACCEDITE ad Deum illuminamini facies vestrae non confundentur Come to Him and be illuminated and your faces shall not be confounded These words in our diuine Office are spoken not only by him who by thy owne testimony was a man
I speak to thee according to his desire still more and more inflame my loue vnto thee Be thou all in all and aboue all vnto me If thou teach not my soul to loue in vain is the endeauour of man speaking and preaching to me Let me â—eare thee by him and let me not so harken to him without that I grow deaf to thee who art within Thy words are works Either speak by others for our good or by tâ—y self in the most interior of our soul. O happines that there should be such a capacity in vs of hauing relation to thee in all things Al things created may faile vs but thou who only canst fatiat our harts canst neuer change or alter but art stil the same and thy yeares shall not faile Thou teachest a soul true Humility and solid vertue In thee nothing is neglected thou art the Maiester of Perfection Thou teachest the simple humble and louing soul thy wayes and giuest her hidden Manna in the strength of which she may walk euen to the hous of her God where she shall praise him for euer and euer Qui ambulat simpliciter ambulat confidenter who walketh simply walketh confidently if we loue thee all will cooperat to good which graunt to thy own Praise Amen THE XXV CONFESSION OMnis populus venit ad Iesum sedens docebat eos All the people came Iesus and hee sitting taught them Can I heare and consider these words written by thy best beloued Disciple and not euen melt into tears of ioy If indeed any had been by thee my Lord reiected I might haue feared and that most iustly remembring my past and present sinnes But to put me out of feare and doubt thy holy Euangelist saith Omnis all To thee therefor I will fly and of thee I will learn how I may Please Praise and loue thee and how by true Humility I may dye to my self and all created things Hereby wholy to liue to thee my all and onely good Thou knowst that my soul without ceasing doth long after thee and to see it-self free from all that which is a hindrance to my perfectly louing thee Oâ— Loue of my Lord God how forcible art thou in a pure soul O who will giue thee to me that my hart may be purged and purified thereby to becom a pleasing habitation for my God O Lord who art Goodnes it self can there be found any ioy comfort or true content in any thing but thee Can there I say for as for me far hath it been from thee to permit any thing but thy self to be sweet to mee O all ye that think it a burthen to be obliged by your Profession to tend to great Perfection and fear the punishment of our doing the contrary raise vp your harts and remember what it is that our Lord exacteth of you by this your Profession and this as it may seeme at first a seuere exaction so remember wel and consider I say what it is and your harts will rejoyce that feare our Lord. It is O it is to loue without bounds or measure It is to leaue your self that you may find God It is to fly from the world that you may hear our Lord speaking peace to your soul It is to submit and subiect your self wholy to him whose will none can resist but as they are permitted by him It is to be subiect to euery liuing creature for him who submitted himsef to the death of the Cross that we might become capable of enioying him This is that he exacteth of vs who haue dedicated our souls wholy to him This is that he requireth which though at first it seeme a burthen to perform yet that which seemeth so is indeed quite otherwise as we shal find in effect if we perform that out of loue which out of his loue to vs he exacteth of vs. For what is sweeter then to loue Yea and to loue him whom the more we loue the more it becometh delightful to vs to loue the more strict our obligation is to him the lighter is our burthen we haue to beare For he doing all that he hath done for vs to bring vs into this state to oblige vs to loue doth also if we be not the hindrance oblige himself to giue vs this Diuine loue of his which is able to vnite a poor contemptible creature to his Diuine Maiesty whom we are not worthy to name O sweet and most desirable yoke well maist thou be said to be sweet thou bringing true and perfect liberty For loue maketh light all burthens and sweetneth al labours and to them that loue it is easy to suffer any aduersities for their loueds sake O let me being obliged by thee to loue let me I say through thy mercy obtain this loue of thre which maketh a soul in all things grateful and faithful to thee Let me not offend thee in my miseries and then come as many as pleases thee for I account that only a misery to wit to offend thee Let all things praise thee and let me in all praise thy Diuine Maiesty with them that loue thee Behold Fire Sea Snow Thunder Lightning Hail and â—he Spirits of storms do thy will and yet I in all contradict it who am capable of thy loue and am inuited to loue so many ways by thee my God O let this thy loue wholy posses my soul that all that is within me may blesse thy holy Name I renounce into thy hands all that is in me contrary to this thy loue Let it wholy consume me that I may be wholy turned into loue and that nothing els may be desired by me Let me be drowned and swallowed vp in that of Diuine loue in which my soul may swim for all eternity neuer more by sin to be separated from thee O when wil this day come that I may return to thee my beginning When will thy Glory appeare When shal death be swalowed vp in victory that I may without ceasing Praise thee my God whose name I write with no smal comfort though otherwise I be so drie that I can scarce think vpon thee To heare thâ—e named or to write to or of thee refresheth my soul in al her misery and to it I flye from the thoughts feares and cares which as thou knowst often oppres me for my humiliation who for my pride deserue iustly to be reiected for euer by thee But in such case I hope both liuing and dying that thou my Lord art my God my Mercy and what is wanting to me I shal aboundantly posses if I confide only in thee which grant that I may not faile to do who only art to be Adored for all eternity Amen THE XXVI CONFESSION ERant appropinquantes ad Iesum Publicani peccatores vt audirent illum There were sinners and Publicans approaching to Iesus that they might hear him This is writ in the Gospel of this day my Lord which doth much comfort my sinfull
verily I may and must confesse and acknowledge to thee most particularly in this that thou hast so particularly and plainly as thou hast done for my humiliation discouered my sinnes vnto me wherby I might know and confesse myâ— obligation to thee and â—ith al compassion on the sinnes and imperfections of others which they also are permitted to fal into that rising vp their loue may be the greatâ—r when they remember it before thee And this I may add to thy greater glory that thou didst reserue this knoâ—ledg of my sinâ—ul and miserable state from me till by meanes of thy said seruant I was put into the way of loue and aspiring to thee for els it would haue wholy deiected and ouerwhelmed me be thou by al glorified and Praised for thy Mercies to me Amen THE XXX CONFESSION O My Lord God to and before whom only I deâ—ire to powre out my hart and the desires affecâ—tions and afflictions therof For thy owne sake forsake not me who desireth to leaue al for thee If thou wilt thou canâ—t saue me Though I haue neuer to my knowledg done any thing that deserueth any grace or fauour before thee yet meerly out of thine owne goodnes forgiue me my sinnes and haue mercy on me Let thy Mercy which withouâ— any desert of mine preuented me bring me to thee Let nothing for time or eternity but thy felf be desired by me Let not my soul loose it-self by resting in any thing but thee Let me take comâ—ort in hearing of thee and let al inordinate loue to creatures be rooted out of my hart by thee Thou knowst for that which is past I am hartily sorry and it often draweth teares from mine eyes to think that their loue should haue been more strong and powerfull in me then that sweet loue of thine is now which challengeth so ful and whole possession of my hart and soul by so many titles which none can deny to thee Take it now therfore wholy to thy-self and ler me rather cease to be then to giue any part to any but as it shall be distributed by thine own sef thy friends only shall be mine that in fine I may haue only thee for my friend aboue all friends take from me of them thou giuest me as it best pleases thee For so I shal come to loue al in thee and yet they wil be as if they were not as to any impediment to my being vnited to thee Let me without ceasing aspire by loue vnto thee that I may be lifted aboue my self and all created things so to be pure and free vnto thee Amen THE XXXI CONFESSION O My Lord when I remember my innumerable sinnes it seemeth not much to me that I sustain these things both without and within But yet my deare God I may speak to thee in the bitternes of my soul who art my only refuge and comfort in affliction and say that thou seemest to me to shut vp al hope of meanes to help my self by some things which I already do and more am like heerafter to sustain Of whom should I beg help but of thee or strength to beare this to thy honour with conâ—ormity to thy blessed wil Who can bestow this on me but thy-self Thou knowst that since I gaue my-sef to a serious tending to thee I neuer desired the friendship or fauour of any creature liuing Nay to thy honour I speak it thou many times and seueral ways shewed me so plainly the vncertainâ—y instability and changeablenes of al created things that my soul euen loatheth the fauour of any how good soeuer neither do I wonder to see those whom to day vpon occasion I am resolute I may be confident in to morrow be in an humor of interpreting al I haue done or said in another sense then indeed I meant it This indeed thou permittest to the end we may trust in thee alone adhere to thee alone and for to purge our souls of the interest which nature getteth euen in the actions which we do with best intention Thou knowâ—t I neiâ—her desire nor pretend any thing but do wish with al my soul that thy Wil be perfectly accomplished and take this answer from thee which I shal anone recite when I am too â—olicitous of my own good or too much troubled with the preiudice or affliction of those thy sernants with whom I most vnâ—orthy â—inner liue who are in thee al without exception most dearly beloued by me with this answer following of thine I am I say put in mind of my dury where thou saiest Quid ad â—e tu me sequere What is that to thee do thou follow me And I answer thee my Lord that as for me it is good for me to adhere to thee who art that One thing which is only necessary Thou alone suffisest me and al things buâ— thy-self shal be to me as if they were not that I may â—ind and enioy thee aâ—ter whom my soul doth pant and sigh without ceasing longing after tâ—ee with all my forces who art my al and only good No rhirst in any though neuer so weary and tired can be so great for want of that which naturally quencheth our thirst when we pant and are dry with heat and thirst as is the thirst which my soul doth sustain sighing and panting after thee the liuing fountain which yet I cannot enioy til my soul be set free from this corruptible flesh but the more I sigh the more I am delighted to sigh after whomâ— I would so fain enioy The more I loue the more I am yet able farther to loue thee the more I deny my-self the morâ— sweet it be cometh to me to suffer for thee the only beloued of my soul. Wo is me that euer I offended such a goodâ—nes as art thou my God! Certainly my sinns deserue to be punished in an extraordinary maner becaus I committed them more wilfully then ordinary Such was the carefulnes of thy seruant my natural father who was so careful that I should be kept out of al occasions of sin that I might considering the nature also which thou gauest me haue liued very innocently But what through my greater fault and negligence is due to me for my sinns be it supplyed by the superaboundance of thy Mercy which I will from henceâ—orth with all my forces extol and I beseech thee remember thy true seruant my said Father who through his care preuented my further euil and also I offer to â—hee him whose happy instructions hath made thy yoke sâ— sâ—eet and thy burthen so light to me who as thou knowst found it so greiuous and heauy before I took my instructions from him that I was weary of the yoke and despaired euer to beare thy burthen with any comfort or quiet whereas afterward being put into a course of Praier and MortificatioÌ„ by hâ—m my greatest obligations seemed to be most most desirable burthens for al thy benefits be thou by al praised for
looked vpon by me may be a meanes to put me in mind of his former mercy which hath been so great to me that it cannot poâ—â—ibly be expressed and whatsoeuer heerafter becometh of me be the fault wholy attributed to me for nothing hath my Lord God left vndon which might win me wholy to himself and make me despise my self and al created things for his loue For when I sinned he recalled me and forsook me not in that my misery of offending such an infinit goodnes so shamefully and that also after my entry into Religion the happines and worth whereof I did not yet know by which meanes I grew weary of bearing therein his sweet yoke and light burthen the which is heauy only through our fault and not of it-self Through which default and ignorance of mine it grew so greiuous and intolerable to me that I wished often it might haue been shaken of lawfully by me pretending it was so incompatible with my good that I could scarsly work my saluation in this my state and Profession This my God thou art witnes of is true and so it did continue with me aboue two years after I had in shew forsaken the world and the world indeed forsaken me but did my Lord in these biter afflictions forsake me No no but he prouided such a help for me by meanes of a faithful seruant of his that quikly was my sorrow turned into ioy yea into such an vnspeakeable ioy that it hath sweetned al the sorrows which since that time haue befaln me For as soon as my soul was set in a way of tending to my God by Praier and Abâ—egation I found al my miseries preâ—ently disperse themselues and come to nothing yea euen in fiue weeks my soul became so enamoured with the yoke of this my deare Lord that if I must haue made not only foure but foure thousands vowes to haue become wholy dedicated to him I should haue embraced this state with more ioy and content then euer I did find in obtaining that which euer I most of al wished or desired yea and as thou knowst my God by my souls being put into a cours of prayer I seemed to haue now found a true means wherby I might loue without end or measure and that without any peril or danger For who can loue thee my God too much O let me melt wholy into loue to record these thy most aboundant Mercies Let me neuer be weary of singing thy Praise who thus hast inuited and drawn me euen whither I would or no to a perfect contempt of al created things that I may adhere to thee aboue al gifts whatsoeuer This I do so particularly write down becaus my frailty is so great that I may perhaps grow vnmindful of thee notwithstanding al this that thou hast done for me which I beseech thee for thine own sake neuer permit me to be that I may praise and loue thee without ceasing who art my God blessed for euer and euer Amen THE XXXV CONFESSION QVi facit veritatemâ— venit ad lucem vt manifestentur opera eius quae in Deo sunt facta O Lord what is more amiable and desirable then Truth That is it which powerfully preuaileth in all things and no wonder seeing thou art Truth Wel may Truth be oppressed thou permitting it but suppressed it-self can neuer be becaus as thou saiest heauen and earth shal fail but thy word shal not fail He that loueth verity and doth desiâ— to liue to thee cometh to the light And what is this light Is it not thy-self my God Yes verily For in thy light only can we see light By faith we are made capable or disposed for this light For as thou saiest My iust liueth by faith By this light we are strengthned in hope and inflamed in charity and by apprâ—aching to theâ— who artour true light and life we obtain a light which teacheth vs to do our works in thee and for thee In his light we discouer our own nothing â—nd perceiue we are poor and frail of â—ur-selues aboue al we can imagin â— conceaue and by it we plainly â—â—rceaue that whatsoeuer is wel â—one by vs is as truly to be attribuâ—ed to thee as if it had been don â—ithout any concurrence of ours â—ith thee and that it is as iust our â—ill should in al things obey thee â—nd that without any challenging â—f reward â—or it of thee but only so â—r as it is due by thy meere promised â—ercy as it is certain that without â—ee we could neither liue nor be â—lso in this ligâ—t we see in some sort as it were in a looking glasse how â—reat and good a God we haue and â—â—at he is more present to vs then â—e are to our selues which maketh â—y soul exult and rejoice amidst â—â—e troubles tumults and various â—hanges which the difficulty of pasâ—ons and crosse actions and the â—â—stability of â—uman and transiâ—ory things daily and howrly caus 〈◊〉 my soul. For who can mourn for want of a friend who hath her only friend always present with her who can choose but hope seeing he is her helper for whose loue she fighteth against flesh and bloud yea and against the power of darknes But how doth she fight Not as one confiding in her own strength but in his help whose loue hath made her proclaim warre with al that would hinder her from being true to this her only beloued To those that loue what can be wanting seeing loue is able to sweeten al labours and lighten al burthens As for me therfor I wil sing without ceasing in my hart It is good for me to adhere to my God and to put my whole trust in him For vain is the help of man After him I will sigh to him I wil sing For my offences I wil weepe and humble my self at the feet ef al creatures becaus nothing pleaseth him so wel as humibity and I wil approach to my God and walk solicitous with him Of him I wil write and I wil not depart from himâ— least darknes and the shadow of death do apprehend my sinfull foul He shal be my God who am his vnworthiest creature that so no euil may haue power ouer me I wil long my Lord to be dissolued and that I may more fully and perfectly enioy theâ— and neuer any more offend thee who art so worthy of al Praise Glory Honour and Adoration for euer Amen THE XXXVI CONFESSION O My Lord to thee I wil speak to whom yet the secrets of my hart are otherwise most cleerly manifest To thee I wil speak and vpon thee I wil cal If thou wilt my Lord thou canst saue me This day my Lord God it is read of thee in rhe holy Church that thou didst heale the man sick of the Palsey Let me also find grace before thee that my diseases may by thee be cured that so I may become pleasing to thee For the diseases of the
thy own self my Lord who made vs for this alone that by true sincerâ— affection we should adhere to thee the chiefe and supreame Good O woe is me iâ— for any intention or for any creatures sake whatsoeuer I should do any thing with other intention willingly then to please and become inwardly in the bottom of my souâ— vnited to thee heer by grace and in Heauen for al eternity Al things and creatures fail only tâ—y-self art constant thou art alwayeâ— present alwaies willing to helpe thy poor seruants euer ready â—o cure our woundsâ— which through human frailty by sin we daily cause in our souls Let vs who haue been greiuous sinners and do so aboundantly experience thy Mercy giue great and continual praise to thee our God who hath sweetly redeemed vs to thy-self in the Bloud of Iesus thy Sonne the immaculate Lambe giuing vs therby hope of remission of our innumerable sins Great art thou O Lord and exceeding worthy of al Praise O let al things Adore and Exalt my God with al their soul and strength What other study what other endeauourâ— or what other desire shal possesse my soul willingly day or night but that I may in al and aboue al things praise and loue my God As nothing is superior to a soul but thy self so nothing but thou can satisfy and satiat our souls in Heaueâ— oâ— earth nothing I say but thy-self to whom ouly let my hart â—ende and only in al things intend Thou being the only true and proper Center of our hart and soul what can make this miserable banishment where to my greife I daily offend thee tolerable to me but only to aspire to thee by sighs desires and vnspeakable groanes in my hart and soul O let true loue vnite me to thee who art by al Adored and Praised for al eternity in thy Heauenly contrey Amen Some speeches of heathen Consuls and Philosophers which shew Christians their duty also their happines in knowing how to make good vse of their knowledge to their Saluation in which those Heathens perished becaâ—s they did not beleeue and acknowledg our Lord God but vanish away in their own cogitations by seeking only fame honour and applause of the people c. which yet in their wisedom they saw to be but an vncertain vanity AND first The answer of one of the greatest and wiâ—est of them when he waâ— offered power and honour and sacrifice according to their custome of vsing such as for wisedome nobility and couradg deserued it in their eyes The more saith he I consideâ— with myself of things done boâ—h in old and later times the more the vncertainties and vanities of fortune in al moral affaires oâ—curâ—e to my rememhrance and the more plainly doth their vanity appeare vnto me O my God what a deâ—inition is heer of a heathen which did not so much as know thee or for what end this vncertainty was in them permitted by thee What a shame is it if we who are not only Christians but religious should esteem or seek after any thing but thee in whom alone is stabiliâ—y to be found and enioyed One hing is necessary Let chance fortun power where it is giuen by thee dâ—spose of al things as they wil as for me I wâ—l sing in al occurrences It is good for me to adhere to my Lord God thâ— only desire and beloued of my soul and hart I wil hauâ— no care or study but how I may in al chances spend my whole forcâ—s and strength in his Praise who be Adored prostrat by al creatures for euer and euer Amen Amen ANOTHER SAID Such as stand in feare are irresolute in al their determinations He spoake it of those who out of feare to displease and desire to please for human respects became â—hereby a slaue to euery ones humour and keept not their freedom and liberty which was got by suppressing of natural passions Another speaking in a controuersy where one was to be iudg of two accusing on another and defending themselues before the Senate saith The truth or thing beleeued and wrested to the worst are easiâ—y to be discerned by one iudg if he be vise vpright and iust and not interrested in neiâ—her side Also another said That the disloyal are odious euen to those whose instrumeÌ„ts they are Of a little beginning comes often great incoÌ„uenience which might be preuented by doing as one of the Heathens dâ—d who excelled most of his time in Nobiâ—ity wisedom and al moral vertues who had so great temper ouer his affections and passions that neither for honour as being offered to be made a King nor for gain would he be false to his Pâ—iâ—ce who yet fauoured him â—o little by reason he was so much honoured by al the common wealthâ— that he gaue way to haue him poisoned at thirty years of age he being also his own father that was Caesar. He was so iust that in matâ—ers of the greatest controuersy he alwaies did true Iustice and his enemy whom he knew sought his death he honoured as his Partner being yet in nobility much his inferior but boare rule with him at Caesars command This enemy being once at a baÌ„quet with him where most of the Nobility were present he vttered sâ—ch disgraceful words and speaches of him to his face that al were amazed to see him not so much as change his counâ—enance at him And after this hearing he was in distresse at Sea he sent his own Conuoy to deliuer him from drowning though he knew his iourney was to accuse him to Caesar and the Senat and also to plot his death which indeed heat last achiued being both at one Bancquet not loÌ„g afâ—er which example sheweth vs how amiable vertue is euen in the very Heathens in whom it was but moral â—how much ought we to practise it in whom by Charity it becometh Diuine O how truly glorious are they my God who indeed posses thy loue which so worthily by holy Scripture is tearmed most Honourable wisedome But alas to humain frailty it is hard to put vp iniuries much more to do good for euil at least nature suggesteth to vs that it is vnpleasant and therefore vrgeth vs not to put vp this or that least those who are contrary to vs do add difficulty vpon difficulty seeing we put it vp so quietly But this pretence of nature is so fals and oft euen in humain respects so inconuenient whilst we by disputing resisting or in the like maner requiting do draw grater incoÌ„â—eniences vpon our selues where as quietly â—erting it passe it would soon come to nothing Nayfarther I wil speak add this to the honour of my Lord God whose way of vertue and the Cross is so sweet in coÌ„parison of the way of sin and yealding to our passionsâ— that if he had neuer intended other reward for those that Humbly practise vertue and go the way of Resignation but that they receaue in this life he