Sin and was he again so loving that when he saw them humbled his Affections were inflamed and compelled him to reveal himself unto them And thinkest thou that I am less wise and loving in dealing with mine I gave at first sharp Answers to the Petitions of that Woman of Canaan and so will I sometimes seem to deal roughly with those whom I love and to be angry even with their Prayers but in the end I will make my Love manifest to them and with my endless Mercies embrace them The Soul Suffer me once again Lord to speak that thou mayst answer me and I shall complain no more If we saw that such were our Dispositions as thy most Holy Word doth require in us then should thy Comforts rejoyce us But alas How far am I from that which I should be my strength is infeebled therefore do my inordinate Affections oftentimes overcharge me If I turn me to pray I cannot for the hardness of my heart the contrite Spirit the melting heart and mourning Eye are gone from me If I seek Comfort in thy Word I find it not I am troubled also with doubtings Armies of Fears and Terrours are against me and all through the weakness of my Faith and partly for want of that Light which should inform me my Infidelity abateth me to think that thy Visitations came from thine anger and causeth me to answer the Errours of my Conscience as if they were just Accusations and partly for want of that apprehending and applying Vertue that is in Faith I am spoiled of my Comfort that thy Word hath offered unto me Therefore O Lord have pitty on the desolate State of my poor Soul The Lord Let not my Beloved the consideration of thy Wants Defects and Imperfections discourage thee remember that the measure of my Grace which I have given to my Saints upon Earth I have called it an Earnest-Penny and First Fruits of the Spirit to tell them that what ever Grace they have gotten it is nothing in comparison of that which they will get seek not that therefore in Earth which I have resolved no ways to give it thee till thou dost come to Heaven Thy Blessedness in this Life stands not in a saciety and full injoying of that which thou wouldst have in a hungring and thirsting for it If I had pronounced them happy and blessed that are now satisfied with righteousness then thy wants might have most justly discouraged thee but I called them blessed that hunger If thou therefore dost follow after Sanctification and art weary of the servitude of thy sins if thou shouldst seek comfort in my Word and couldst sind none of these at the first as thou wouldst yet remember that I have promised to fulfil the Desires of those that fear me if it doth grieve thee that thou canst not pray at all times alike remember that my Children are often times ill Judges of themselves and that their Estate is not always to be measured by their feeling for many Prayers may be made by them to me by my Spirit with sighs and sobs that they themselves are not able to express yet are known to me and are like loud crying Voices which I cannot but answer The Soul Oh my Soul content thee with the Lords Dispensations and doubt not but all thy Wants and Desires that are holy shall once be satisfied remember how careful thy Saviour was of the People that followed him I have compassion saith he on these People because they have nothing to eat they have continued with me already three days I will not let them depart fasting least they faint by the way O most sweet and comfortable Speeches they seek not from him and he is careful to give them If he was so careful to satisfie their bodily Necessities will be neglect the Spiritual Necessities of his own chosen Ones they followed him three days and he counted it a long time they are to go from Him and he feareth lest they should faint Oh my distrustful Soul wilt thou once learn to trust in the Mercies of thy God assuredly Will not he satiate thee who seeks Him Will not he answer thee who cryes unto Him Will he not care for thee who hast waited upon Him not only three days but many Years And will he let thee faint in following of Him who would not let them faint in going from Him O sweet Savour happy are those that trust in thee Lord therefore inerease my Faith in thee that nothing may ever be able to sunder me from thee The Lord As for the weakness of thy Faith which I see is the ground of all thy trouble it proceedeth either from the want of knowledge or else from the want of Application It is indeed a special benefit to have the Mind enlightned with true Light seek therefore my Light to shine into thee by continual Prayer and scarching the Scriptures that thou be not troubled with the Errour of Conscience as if it were a just Accusation I have set Conscience indeed to be a Warner unto thee but then shalt thou take heed to her Warnings when they are warranted by my Word if the errour of Conscience terrifie thee in any thing and make thee think that thy Crosses and Visitations do come from mine anger go and inform Conscience better by my Word remember Whom I chastise I love And when I chastise thee I am not seeking satisfaction to my Justice what marvel such Thoughts disquiet many Consider I pray thee that notable Promise of mine made to my Servant David and in him to all the rest of my Saints If they break my Statutes I will visit their Transgressions with Rods yet my Loving Kindness will I not take from them neither alter my Covenant for ever The Soul Oh Word full of Comfort my Soul forget it never that when his Rods are laid upon thee yet his Loving Kindness is not taken from thee and though thy Transgressions be many yet will he not alter his Covenant with thee remember it I say that it thy trouble thou give no more place to the Misconceptions of Gods Workings with thee as Godly Job thought in his trouble that the Lord was pursuing him for his Sins and made him possess the Iniquities of his Youth which as yet appears by the Course of that History was not the Lords Intention So have I thought many times that the heavy Hand of the Lord laid on me had proceeded from his Wrath as if he had shut up his Mercy in displeasure for ever but Lord let thy Mercy and Light abide with me that I sin no more with such distrustful Motions against thee and now Lord speak on further to thy Servant for thy Comforts have refreshed me and rejoyeed my Soul The Lord As for the weakness of thy Faith which I see is the ground of all thy trouble it proceedeth either from the want of Knowledge or else from the want of Application It is indeed a special benefit to
thou and art so cast down and disquieted within thy self Dost thou well to be angry with my Chastisements And why art thou offended that I should make thee like my self Causing thee to walk in the way of inward and outward Griefs which I did tread before thee Why refusest thou to take up my Cross and follow me and to taste of that Cup which I drank before and for thee The Soul Oh Lord give me of thy Spirit and all trouble with thee or for thee shall be sweet unto me What ever thou didst Oh Lord it was for me and if I were so disposed as I should then would I be content to bear all that thou my God shouldst be pleased to lay upon me But alas it is my cursed Corruptions that makes me think thy Cross my Burthen Lord therefore uphold me by thy Grace that I may count thy Yoak easie and find joy in these Sufferings with thee The Lord. I know the Cause of thy Grief and Terrour to be the Consideration of thy Sins But I pray thee Why lookest thou so to thy Sins that thou lookest not to my Mercies Why wouldst thou so extol thy evil Deeds that thou shouldst extenuate my rich Mercies or any way compare the one with the other Was it for thy good Deeds that I did first enter into Friendship with thee And thinkest thou now that for thy evil Deeds I will utterly forsake thee Seeing it is among my Praises that the Work which I have begun I will perfect it I like it well indeed to see thee grieved for the Sins thou hast committed against me But I would also have thee comforted in the Mercies that I have shewed thee Call to mind my Works of old what I have done to thee since thou canst remember How cared I for thee in thy young and tender Years Look back now and see Did not the Angel of my Presence lead thee when thou hadst no wisdom nor strength to govern thee Did not I then begin to acquaint thee with the Knowledge and Fear of my Name Canst thou deny now that my Mercy preserved thee from many Sins whereunto thy Nature was prone and ready to have declined And when thou sinnedst with what long patience have I waited thy turning and how lovingly have I winked at thy Transgressions And when I had given thee Grace to repent of thy Sins and to seek for my Favour and Mercy for the Sins of thy youth with a melting heart and a mourning eye Canst thou deny that I have filled thy Heart with my Joys and made thy tongue to burst out in singing and glorying Speeches And why then wilt thou not trust in my Mercies to the end The Soul I were O Lord most unthankful if I should not confess that many a time in the multitude of my thoughts thy Mercies have comforted me But alas I have not answered thy Loving Kindness for after many Mercies received I have sinned against thee contrary to my Light and my sins are now before me witnessing that I am unworthy to taste of the sweetness of thy Mercies any more The Lord Is my Mercy only for a Day or a Year Or is it for ever and ever towards those that I have made mine in Christ Jesus Wilt thou restrain my Mercies and limit them within thy narrow Bounds as to think they cannot be extended over all thy Transgressions Wilt thou measure my Mercies with so narrow a span as to think that I have no more to give than thou hast to receive Is it not among my Praises That I am able to do exceeding abundantly above all that my Children can ask or think of me Knowest thou not that as the Heavens are above the Earth so are my Thoughts above thine Hast thou not considered that my Mercy is above all my Works How much more then is it above thee who art nothing in comparison of my mighty Works And if it be above thee how much more above all thou canst do Why then wilt thou match thy Sins with my Mercies If I require such Mercy in my Children that I will have them to forgive one another not only seven times but seventy times seven times What pitty compassion and readiness to forgive is in my self Therefore my Beloved despair not for the multitude of thy Sins but be comforted with my Promises of Mercy I have made them without Exceptions of Sins For albeit they were Sins of Scarlet they shall be made white as Wool I have made them without exception of Persons For whosoever shall depart from his Wickedness and turn to me I will receive him Let this threefold Vniversality of my Promises sustain thee that thy Infidelity contract not my Mercy into narrower bounds than I have extended them The Soul Be merciful O Lord to my Infidelity I believe in part Lord help my Unbelief Establish and confirm my unstable heart with thy good Spirit My Conscience doth in such sort condemn me that I stand in fear of thy Justice for thou art greater than my Conscience and wilt much more condemn me if thou dost enter into Judgment with me The Lord Oh my Beloved consider that the Cause of thy present Vnquietness is because with the one Eye thou lookest to thy Sins and my Fathers Justice and with thy other Eye lookest not to me in whom his Justice is satisfied and thy Sins punished already Tell me I pray thee Thinkest thou in thy self to get such a Holiness of thy Disposition that which shall exempt thee from the Fear of his Justice Or art thou content to seek it in me If in thy self thou seekest it remember what thou art doing Wilt thou have the Lord bound and oblieged to thee Wilt thou be thy own Saviour Or shall it be said His Mercy Saved thee not If no misery were in thee whereupon should his Mercy be manifested And if thy disposition in the Earth be such as it should be then what remains but that the Praise of his Mercy should fall to the ground Turn thee therefore to me and seek thy Life in me If thou wilt know what is thine thou art a Sinner Let my Praise be reserved to my self I am thy Saviour Esteemest thou that my words are ineffectual or that there is no force in my Suffering Countest thou thy Sins so deadly that my Merit Vertue cannot cure them Will a Physitian pour out a rare Ointment either where no need it or where it cannot profit and thinkest thou that my Father would have my Blood to be shed in vain If his Justice terrifies thee remember his Justice was satisfied in me and that he pronounceth this Sentence Himself This is my Beloved Son in whom I am well pleased I came into the Wâ—â—ld not to call the Righteous but Sinners to Repentance Tarry not from me because thou art a Sinner but for that Cause come unto me I will refresh thee The Soul Oh Lord I know there is a cleansing and recoâ—â—ding
Sins for thy own Names-sake and thou desirest not the Death of a sinner but rather that he should turn from his Wickedness and live and hast promised That at what time soever a sinner repenteth him of his sin from the bottom and ground of his Heart thou wilt put away his Wickedness out of thy sight and remember his Transgressions no more And it is a faithful Saying worthy of all Acceptation That Jesus Christ came into the World to save sinners Of whom I am chief O Lord I Believe help my Unbelief help me to Believe Repent and Obey for Jesus sake have Mercy upon me and work in me a godly Sorrow for my sins which may cause a true Repentance unto Salvation never to be repented of and for thy Names-sake pardon all my sins for thy Mercies-sake do away my Iniquities for thy Promise sake do not remember my Transgressions any more And for Jesus Christ his sake seal a free and a full Pardon of all my sins unto my Soul Say That thou art become my Salvation And let the blood of Jesus cleanse me from all sin Oh this is a great Request I beg who am unworthy of the least Mercy but I beg of thee for the sake of Jesus he is thy Beloved Son in whom thou art well pleased through whom thou canst not be offended he is my Saviour and died to save me according to the multitude of thy Compassions in the Lord Jesus deal with me in the pardoning of all my sins and let not sin nor Satan whom thou hatest destroy the Work of thy hands my Immortal Soul for whom Christ died furnish me with the Graces of thy Holy Spirit and give me Believing Grace and Mercy Repenting Grace and Mercy Pardoning Grace and Mercy Restraining Grace and Mercy Comforting Grace and Mercy Renewing Grace and Mercy with Confirming Grace and Mercy Oh renew me in the Spirit of my Mind help me to redeem time because I have mispent much pretious time already and because the days are evil make me consider the shortness and uncertainty of my time I have but a Moment to work for Eternity e're long Death will come and I shall be in a future state then time will be no more and many have been taken off in their sins and for their sins that are now in an Eternal state of Wo. O teach me in this my Day to know the things that belong to my peace before they are hid from mine Eyes my day is already far spent and my Night is at hand I do not know what a Day may bring forth let me not therefore any longer defer my Amendment of Life after so long a time as it is called to day help me to up and be doing and work while it is called to day before the Night comes when none works help me to work out my Salvation with Fear and Trembling and let me be very diligent to make my Calling and Election sure the one thing needful even the Salvation of my Immortal Soul which is of everlasting Concernment that whatever I miscarry in I may not be mistaken in the great business of my Eternal Happiness to that end I most humbly pray thee again for Jesus Christ's sake to free me from the Power of all sin especially those that my Nature is most prone to such as do beset and overtake me daily and be pleased to discover unto me the Deceitfulness of my own Heart which is very naughty and above all things deceitful and desperately wicked the Thoughts and Imaginations of my Heart have been evil and only evil continually O Lord create in me a Clean and New Heart renew a right Spirit within me sanctifie my Nature and help me to sanctifie thee the Lord of Hosts and make thee my Fear and Dread that thou may'st be unto me a Sanctuary O be pleased to convince me of thine Omnisciency and Omniprescency strike me with an Awe and Fear of thy Presence make me to consider that where-ever I am whatever I am about thou knowest it who art a God of purer Eyes than to behold Sin with the least Approbation and that I have always about me an Immortal Soul and that it is against thee that I have sinned who art a Sin-hating and a Sin-revenging God and that I must very shortly appear naked before thy dreadful Tribunal to render an Account for all things done in the Flesh and 〈◊〉 râ—ceive my Eternal Doom from the Righteous Judge of â—ll the World O â—eaâ—h me with the Robes of Christs Righteousness leâ— his Meritorious Death and Passion satisfie thy Justice for my Sins let the Blood of Jâ—â—us clâ—anse me from all sin and make me circumspect in time to come lâ—t me be Sober Watchful and Vigilant because my Aiversary the Devil goeth about as a roaring Lion seeking whom he may devour continually and my poor weak frâ—il Nature is ready to yield to every Temptation and Suggestion not able to think a good Thought O let thy Grace be sufficient for me let it shield me from all hurt cloath me with the Righteousness of my Jesus let me be girt with Truth and always shod with the Preparation of the Gospel but above all things give me the Shield of Faith the Breastplate of Righteousness a Helmit of Salvation with the Sword of the Spirit whereby I may be able to fight against the World the Flesh and the Devil resisting the Fiery Darts of Satan fighting against Principalities Powers and Spiritual Wickedness in High-Places let not the Gates of Hell nor Powers of Darkness prevail against me but let the Grace of God which hath so plentifully appeared toward me teaching to deny all Vngodliness and Worldly Lusts defend me O let me be redeemed from a Vain Conversation help me to bring forth fruits meet for Repentance worthy an Amendment of Life and let thy Holy Spirit seal me up unto the Day of Redemption make me holy here that I may be happy hereafter Oh make me such a one as thou wouldst have me and inable me to evidence unto my self the Assurance of my Justification by the fruits of my Sanctification thou hast promised That what soever shall be asked in thy Sons Name according to thy Will shall be granted Now Lord I know that this is thy Will even my Sanctification for Jesus sake sanctifie me thorowout and write upon my Heart Holiness to the Lord make me walk according to the Pattern of my Jesus who was Humble Holy and Obedient to thy Will in all things even to the death of the Cross make me to consider that I was Redeemed and bought with a Price not of corruptible Things as Silver and Gold but with the precious Blood of Jesus Christ therefore let me live to the Praise of him that hath so dearly bought me with his most pretious Blood let me walk like one that is Redeemed and Translated from Death to Life as one whose Life is hid with God in Christ that when he