Loue it selfe in the abstract The extent of thy goodnesse loue and mercy is such as hath no bounds the depth is such as hath no bottome The influence of it will make me feele that which no eloquence can vtter no intelligence can containe No man can tell how sweete hony is but hee that tasteth it I see O Lord great fruite of thy rich roote of Mercy For were not thy mercy exceeding great few or none could liue here the life of grace or there the life of glory Looke how many Saints there be in heauen or on earth by inchoation here in perfection there So many worthy examples so many infallible demonstrations there are of thine vnspeakeable mercy without which they should 〈◊〉 haue perished and sunke downe to Hell If therefore thy Iustice lift vp it selfe as the high Mountaines to eclipse the light of thy gracious countenance from mee I will raise my selfe yet higher in confidence of thy Truth which reacheth to the clouds and thy Mercy which mounts euen to the heauen of heauens I will frame this comfortable consequence to my distressed soule if thy mercy bee magnified aboue thy Iustice it must needs bee farre aboue my transgressions O Lord I haue caused my sinne to abound farre beyond the bankes and bounds of thy Law but it is thy property to pardon and the property of thy Mercy where sinne abounds there to superabound Thy mercy doth euen crosse and controule thy Iustice and as the highest Orbe doth by violence carry with it the inferior Spheres against their proper inclinations and motions So the force of thy powerfull mercy doth ouerrule my naturall and wilfull courses running to wickednesse and in that race hasting to iust condemnation My sinnes therefore how great soeuer cannot stop the flowing of thy vast Ocean of Mercy When I fall into computation and comparison of my sinnes on the one side and thy mercies on the other I finde by diuine Arithmetike and the true Iacobs-staffe to my singular comfort that my sinnes how great and how many soeuer yet may bee both measured and reckoned but on the other part that neither the magnitude nor the multitude of thy mercies can be either fathomed or numbred I beg thy great Mercy because thy lesser mercies will not doe the turne which my miserable condition requires For they may ease me of lesser miseries of afflictions in body of distresses in estate of other incumbrances in the world but it is thy larger Mercy that must forgiue not my lesser only but my greater sinnes which haue prouoked thy iust and heauy indignation against me Thy wayes O God are not as mans wayes nor thy mercies as mans mercies Mans mercy is short and scant mingled with hardnesse and maymed with sundry imperfections In ciuill matters some man will forgiue the interest but not the principall some man will forgiue the halfe but not the whole debt some man will forbeare to demand the debt yet will not forgoe the Bond hee will keepe that to curbe his debtor vpon all occasions In matters criminall one will forgiue the fault but not the punishment another will remit a part but not all the penalty a third will forgiue but not forget the iniury But thy Mercy O Lord is great large free and absolute intire and indefinite or rather infinite Thou forgiuest both the fault and punishment royally and really all is acquitted and discharged at once in accomplishment of that comfortable clause in the cloze of thy new Couenant Thou wilt remember our iniquities no more The multitude of my sinnes occasions me to parallel them with the multitude of thy mercies that there may bee a medicine for each malady a salue for euery sore I touch still vpon one and the same string though with some variety because the meditation and modulation of this mercy of thine is as sweet Musicke in mine eare and a ioyfull Iubile in my soule I striue to expresse one and the same thing in diuers words or phrases great mercy and a multitude of mercies being all one in sence and meaning for great mercy comprehends a multitude of mercies and a multitude of mercies amounts to one great masse of mercy The greatest mercy that the greatest person can doe to the most miserable wretch vpon earth is not to bee compared to the least of thy mercies which thou affoordest to the holiest man that liues in regard of the infinite disproportion that is betweene the Offendor and the Offended the Creator of Heauen and earth and dust and ashes Howbeit euen in thine infinite mercy as it hath relation to sinfull man there be degrees whereof we cannot better take the skantling then by our greater or lesser offences committed against thy diuine Maiesty for the Law of gratitude amongst men teacheth mee to acknowledge that thy loue is greater to them to whō thou forgiuest greater thē to such as thou acquitest of smaller debts Therefore as my more heynous sinnes at the Tribunall of thy iustice do call for seuerer punishment so at thy throne of mercy which is aboue thy seate of iustice and to which I appeale as to thy Court of last resort they begge and craue for thy more great and tender compassions Debt is a burthen and a great debt is an heauy burden hee that beares an honest minde cannot be quiet in minde so long as hee continues in debt My sins are my debts and that scoare runnes still in my minde whereon I haue runne so fast and so farre I professe truly that my sins haue gone ouer not my body only but my head also and that they are a burden too heauy for mee to beare I know O Lord thou keeper of men that thou markest what is amisse in me thou scorest vp my sinnes my wilde and wandring thoughts my vaine and wicked words my foule and filthy actions thou keepest a day and a debt-booke of them to charge mee by way of account whensoeuer it pleaseth thee thou settest them downe in capitall and red letters to declare thine anger thou grauest them with the poynt of a Diamond and writest them with a pen of Iron both in thy Registry of Heauen and in the Tablet of mine own conscience on earth placing on the right side thereof the straight rules of thy Law and mine Obliquities on the left each as a foile to set forth the other Debts must either be paid or forgiuen else they cannot be discharged Pay O Lord I cannot I am become bankrupt I am not able no not by way of composition to answer thee one for a thousand Therefore it remaines onely that I beseech thee whose propertie it is to haue mercy and forgiue to crosse this debt-booke to wipe out the score to cancell the hand-writing and deface the record that is against me to put away and blot out my transgressions that there may remaine no memory of them either to prouoke thy heauy vengeance or to affright my
THE PSALME OF MERCY OR A MEDITATION vpon the 51. Psalme by a true Penitent LONDON Imprinted by Felix Kyngston and are to be sold by Matthew Lownes 1625. TO MY REVEREND FRIEND Mr. IOHN DOVVNAME Bachelar in Diuinity and Preacher of Gods Word REVEREND SIR WHen first I fell into my grieuous affliction as a man surprized with a mighty Tempest I did in the midst of mine astonishment bethinke my selfe how to apply my courses to the appeasing of Gods anger whence 〈◊〉 crosse proceeded and the sauing of my perplexed soule the mayne marke whereat 〈◊〉 aymed In that case I suddainely and strongly resolued to take Gods Booke into my hand by it as by the true Card and compasse to saile safely thorow the sea of this worlds troubles in hope ioyfully in the end to arriue at the hauen of rest and true 〈◊〉 Among the bookes of holy Writ I 〈◊〉 mine eyes and thoughts specially vpon the Psalmes of Dauid which are a short and sweete 〈◊〉 of all Scripture and 〈◊〉 mysteries therein comprized Among the Psalmes I conuersed more frequently in those that are singled from the rest and stiled by a speciall title The Penitentialls as the fittest medicines for my malady which are as one saith the Anatomy of the spirit and the heart as it were of the new man True it is which I confesse ingenuously though to mine own reproach that albeit I had very often heretofore heard and red those Psalmes wherein Dauid his pangs and passions are liuely described with a kinde of 〈◊〉 delight and pleasing regret as men behold Tragedies on a stage and reade lamentable stories Yet could I not fully rellish and truly tast them whiles I liued in quietnesse and contentment nor indeed vntil I had by personall experience felt in some proportion Dauid his 〈◊〉 and wounded spirit So true is that which sundry of the Fathers haue obserued and Saint Bernard deliuers in these words You shall neuer rightly vnderstand Dauid vntill by experience you haue put on the very affections in which Dauid his Psalmes were endited for none can expresse a passion that feeles it not neither can the penne deliuer but what it copieth out of the 〈◊〉 Now being best acquainted with mine owne disabilities and defects I did 〈◊〉 chuse this Plaine-song to 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 being the prime 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Penitentiall and a liuely Character of a true Mourner though shaped to the particular condition of Dauid yet fitting euery penitent sinner because it seemes to require the compunction of the heart rather then the consideration of the head an imitation rather then an interpretation an application rather then an explication This is The Psalme of Mercy by excellency so called because it beginneth with Miserere which prisoners indicted and conuicted for lesser fellonies at our Assizes and 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 doe so often call and 〈◊〉 for at the Iudges hands For 〈◊〉 that can neither vnderstand nor reade the Latine tongue can say it by rote as they say and doe craue mercy in desiring to be put to reade this Psalme of mercy But without all question the most holy and iust man vpon earth had neede to beg of the great Iudge of heauen and earth that hee will 〈◊〉 to heare him read with his tongue and tune with his heart this sweete though 〈◊〉 Psalme of mercy in his daily 〈◊〉 lest he be condemned when hee comes to be arraigned at the grand Assizes When all offendors without witnesse or Iury are to be accused conuicted 〈◊〉 the 〈◊〉 and 〈◊〉 of their own consciences 〈◊〉 not to appeare it will bee impossible and to appeare without this Psalme of mercy it will be intolerable For who is he among the sonnes of men that may not truly say with that ancient Father A sinner I am spotted with all manner of staines borne for nothing else in this life but to act repentance all my life what other person 〈◊〉 I sustaine vpon the stage of this world Vpon perusall of the Psalme and some few 〈◊〉 thereof for I did not 〈◊〉 many chewing the Cud as it were I haue cast it and them into mine own mold expressed the sense in 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 plaine language and paralelling mine with Dauids perplexities applied his plaisters to my sores I 〈◊〉 with the same measure of spirit I hope with the like successe of grace If you meruaile that I being no Diuine should aduenture the conceiuing much more the publishing of a Meditation of this nature My answere is briefely That the subiect of it belongs to the art of Christianity which euery man is bound to know and not onely to the profession of Diuinity and that in absence of the Master one 〈◊〉 now and than teacheth another and he that learnes of his Schoolefellow will sometimes apprehēd it sooner from 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 from his Master And I hope to suffer the more gentle censure for suffering this weake Essay to see light in this Age which is actiue in scribling and printing euen to ryot and excesse because I see mens wills of their gifts to charitable vses daily printed to incite others by their example to the like courses Why then may not any man declare publish the pious bequest of his soule as it were and set the presse on worke to expresse and record his repentance build his tombe of black-Marble erect it in the Temple of Gods people that by looking vpon 〈◊〉 Ensignes and reading the Epitaph others may be mooued as in Christian affection to condole with him so by a kinde of reflection to mourne for themselues If a man would prouide a mourning suite for his sorrowfull heart what hurt or losse were it to see diuers formes and fashions to make choyce of for patternes The more course the Stuffe and lesse curious the fashion the fitter for the grat Dueil or solemne mourning My model may better please some mourner then a better If no other vse be made The often iteration and frequent renouation of this matter 〈◊〉 vsuall and ordinary resort to houses of mourning may giue occasion to refresh and reuiue that diuine passion which should euer liue in vs till it dye with vs to wit Repentance What fruite others may reape by this my meditation I know not but sure I am that by entertayning the time and employing my thoughts vpon this subiect I haue excluded a world of idle fancies and tumultuous cogitations which otherwise would haue seized vpon me and swallowed many indignities and discontentments that would haue disturbed the peace of my soule had it not beene foreprized by an exercise of this nature as an Antidote against such poisons The cause why I present and submit it to your view and censure is not only for that I reuerence your great learning and singuler piety well knowne to our whole Church by your sundry books but specially in a recognition of the much contentment I found in that worke of yours which deseruedly beares the Title of Consolations for the afflicted or
whom shall I addresse my selfe Hell will not the earth cannot relieue me and I dare not lift vp mine eyes to Heauen hauing so highly offended against Heauen and before thee the great King of Heauen I am assailed on euery side assailed by mine own iniquities assailed by thy graces Where may I shrowd my selfe from my sinnes How can I hide mee from my selfe Where may I expect succour Whence may I hope for helpe sithence thy graces which I haue turned into wantonnesse doe conuince me of foule ingratitude doe multiply iniquities vpon me and euen arme thy mercies against me The extremity of my Condition is such as will afford no long time of deliberation In briefe there is one onely way left of escape and euasion and that is by flying from thee to fly to thee to appeale from thy seate of Iustice to thy throne of Mercy as to thy Court of last resort which is alwaies open Either that way or no way can I be rescued from vtter destruction The most odious sinne of desperation wil but plunge me further into the depth of damnation But with the Lord there is maruailous mercy and plenteous redemption By this meanes it is possible without it impossible to saue my sinfull soule Wherefore my resolution is in the lowest degree of humiliation in the deepest straine of contrition faithfully and yet in a sort fearefully to repose my selfe vpon his infinite and vnspeakeable compassion I will pierce mine entralles and pricke the heart of my corrupt heart to the quicke I will let out a flood of teares which are the bloud of my soule I will mingle my zealous and humble prayers with those salt and brackish teares I will knocke hard at his mercy gate and cry aloud Miserere A MEDITATION VPON THE PSALME of Mercy 1. Haue mercy vpon me O God according to thy great mercy and according to the multitude of thy tender compassions blot out my transgressions THAT which I begge at thy hands O God is mercy for of many properties in thee which are all essentiall to thee there is none so vsefull none so delightfull to my perplexed soule as is thy mercy Were it not for thy Mercy thy Maiesty would affright thy Wisedome confound thy Iustice condemne and thy Power destroy me as on the other part through the sweete mixture of thy Mercy thy Maiestie will reuiue thy Wisedome enlighten thy Iustice acquit thy Power preserue me and euery of thy other Attributes will contribute to the aduancement of my inestimable benefit and endlesse good In Mercy all my prayers and petitions are comprized by Mercy all my defects and desires are satisfied for Mercy all my prayses and thankes are returned Euery thing that hath being doth naturally affect continuance and well being Euery Man doth or should desire his chiefe good and true happinesse which consists in thy remission of his sinnes in his reconciliation to thee and that is the blessed and kindely fruite of thy gracious and tender mercy alone A sinner I am and who is not Therefore I cannot seeke for happines in freedome from sinne that is aboue the nature of man but in the free pardon of my sinne by grace which surmounts all the sinnes of all the world Thou didst looke downe O Lord from all eternity out of thy highest throne of Heauen by way of Suruey among the sonnes of men in all ages and generations all things and persons being euer present vnto thee to see if there were any that would vnderstand and seeke after thee But vpon exact enquiry returne was made they were all found corrupt and abominable There was not one that did good no not one Which for greater vehemency and euidence of the truth is repeated the second tyme and purposely recorded by an infinite foresight to take away all colour of doubt and to impose perpetuall Silence to such as afterwards might deceiue themselues and abuse others with an opinion of their owne iustice and holinesse as answerable to thy diuine law and meritorious of thy louing fauour Wherfore I present this lamentable supplication and sing this dolefull ditty though framed for my selfe 〈◊〉 yet fitting euery of the sonnes of Adam generally Haue Mercy vpon mee O God I call vpon thee O God at this time by the name of Elohim which purports the Trinity of Persons and not of Iehouah which denotes the Vnity of substance in the Godhead for my threefold sinne doth iustly occasion mee to fixe mine eyes vpon the Three persons distinctly Vpon thee O Father who art power against whom I haue offended by abuse of my regall Power in murdering Captaine Vriah and his whole troope Vpon thee O Sonne who art Wisedome by vsing finenesse and fraud in carrying closely and cunningly contriuing the murder Vpon thee O holy Ghost who art goodnesse whom I haue grieued by defiling my hands with blood and body with 〈◊〉 which is or should be thy temple and habitation When I implore thy great Mercie I imply my great misery The Phisick of the body must be attempered to the malady If the receipt be giuen vnder the due Dosis it may moue but it will not remoue the peccant humors Desperate diseases must haue soueraigne 〈◊〉 for meane medicines will neuer cure great griefes If the plaster bee too skant for the sore If the wound be not throughly teinted and wholy couered it will neuer bee well cured or soundly recouered As it is in the diseases and sores of he body so is it also in 〈◊〉 of the soule One deepe 〈◊〉 another the depth of sinne requires the depth of grace and a depth of misery calleth for a depth of mercy If I aske my selfe why is thy Mercy great for that there is no cause of thy mercy but thy Mercy I must answere by the effect Because thou canst 〈◊〉 my soule from the nethermost hell from such anguish of body from such perplexity of spirit from such terrors and torments as are ready to ouerwhelme mee in the pit of destruction If I aske how great is thy Mercy I must giue an answere answerelesse I know it to be meruailous great but how great it is I cannot comprehend The immensity of it I haue assayed to shadow out by such resemblances as the world affords to outward sence for the shallow conceits and weake capacities of mortall men being not able with my thoughts to reach much lesse with my tongue or penne to expresse it The height of thy mercy I 〈◊〉 to the altitude of the Heauen aboue the Earth the bredth to the distance of the East from the West the depth to the affection of parents to their children butalas these are no euen matches for that which is limited and finite hath no proportion at all with that which is vnlimited and infinite Thy Mercy O Lord is as thou art thou art great without quantity as thou art good without quality Thou art not merciful but mercy not good but goodnesse not louing but
grieuous and irkesome will the damage and disgrace be to euery or any of these respectiuely Thou O God art our Master and to serue thee is to raigne with thee Thou art our Father and what greater preeminence then to bee the Sonne of God Thou art our King and to be in subiection to thee is our chiefest dominion How then doth it concerne me being an vnfaithfull Seruant a prodigall Childe and a trayterous Subiect to beg earnestly of thee my bountifull Master my louing Father my gracious Soueraigne that thou wilt not take away thy 〈◊〉 banish me from thy fight nor expell mee from thy Courts As the soule doth excell the body and the 〈◊〉 the flesh beyond proportion so the one losse is incomparably greater then the other Thou O God art present with me by thy good Spirit and so long as I haue this Ghest in my soule I haue the fruition of thee and thy presence wherefore suffer not this noble Ghest to be dislodged and taken from mee Thou and thy Spirit are vndeuided companions If thou cast me from thy presence thou takest thy holy Spirit from me and if thou takest 〈◊〉 Spirit thou takest thy selfe from me I doe yet enioy thy presence in a sort I behold thy countenance though full of anger I feele thy Spirit within mee though sad and grieued for I find contrition in my heart confession in my mouth and confusion in my face for my grieuous offences I hate my sinnes and my selfe for my sinnes This smoake cannot ascend but from that fire of thy Spirit this fruit cannot grow but from that roote of repentance Howbeit when I behold the vglinesse of my offences with an vnpartiall eye and consider how hard harsh a thing it is for Purity and Holinesse to dwell or abide with wickednesse and filthinesse I tremble and quake in an awefull feare that thou wilt as iustly thou mayest depriue me of thy gracious presence and bereaue mee of thy blessed Spirit Lord thou art in all things by thine Essence thou art in all places and at once by thy Power and presence I may well bee asked Whither wilt thou flye from his Spirit or whither wilt thou goe from his presence c If thou shalt say The darkenesse shall couer me euen the night shall bee light about thee Yet thou canst and wilt cast me from thy presence and withdraw thy holy Spirit from me if I be settled vpon the dregs of my sinnes without remorse in contempt of thy Maiestie and abuse of thy mercie If thou in thy iust iudgement and wrathfull indignation abandon mee from thy presence thou castest me out of thy prouidence and protection thy blessed Spirit doth quite desert mee I am banished out of the land of the liuing into the Desert of desolation which is without the compasse of the whole Vniuerse that thou didst create and d'st vphold In that case happy were I to bee no more but I shall be most vnhappy to bee and continue helpelesse and hopelesse in endlesse misery Thy holy Spirit is by a speciall title stiled The Comforter by excellencie because all other comforters and comforts are cold and vncomfortable without and beside it I haue I confesse with griefe many times checked this Spirit when it hath presented good motions to my minde and good desires to my hart I haue grieued it exceedingly while I carelesly neglected and stubbornely refused the good counsell it ministred vnto me Howbeit sithence without this Comforter I must bee for euer comfortlesse in the depth of discomfort I 〈◊〉 thee not to take vtterly and finally thy holy Spirit from me Thy gifts O Lord are without repentance therefore I trust I shal neuer be without repentance whō thou louest once thou doest euer loue if thou begin thou wilt perseuere to loue Although I doe not alwayes feele the graces of thy Spirit in my sinfull soule yet I shall 〈◊〉 trust haue 〈◊〉 euer because once I had them My sinne may take away the sence and 〈◊〉 for a while but not the interest and property if I may so say which I haue in thy blessed Spirit Which notwithstanding the fruition of this Spirit being so precious and the losse of it so inualuable I cannot but in feare and anxiety of soule instantly pray that it may not be taken from me Although the seed of thy Word whereby I am begotten againe to a liuely Hope be immortall and incorruptible yet it is so choked with the weeds of fleshly desires so intangled with worldly allurements it lyeth so buried in the furrowes of my hard and stony heart as I may much doubt and in a manner distrust the shooting and springing of it vp againe without an extraordinary influence of thy heauenly grace which cannot descend vpon me vnlesse my humble and earnest prayers ascend vp to thee Wherefore retaine mee O Lord in thy fauour and permit thy blessed Spirit not onely to soiourne for a season but to remaine continually with me Let me so keepe a doore in the Sanctuary of my soule which is one of thy Courts as I may neuer suffer this Ghest to goe out of it 12 Restore vnto mee the ioy of thy saluation and vphold mee with thy firme Spirit or stablish mee with thy free Spirit I Doe not say Giue mee what I neuer had but restore vnto mee what I had and haue lost by mine owne fault and folly It is a greater fauour to restore then to giue in as much as it is a greater vnhappinesse to lose a Iewell which I had then neuer to haue had it Priuation is a greater punishment then want It is the height of misery to haue beene happy To come out of darknesse into light out of sicknesse into health out of perplexity into security out of sorrow sadnesse into ioy and gladnesse and so by the contrary to come out of cheerfulnesse into pensiuenesse sets out more liuely and causes to be felt more sensibly both the one and the other condition One contrary is a foyle vnto another We then make the tru est valuation of thy greatest mercies O Lord when we are for a time depriued of them which is one speciall cause why thou takest them from vs that by the want we may learne the worth of them and shew our selues accordingly thankefull because thou diddest vouchsafe vs the fruition of them so long and much more ioyfully imbrace and charily preserue them when thou pleasest to restore them to vs againe For as the eyes cannot discerne a goodly obiect when it is held close vnto them but when it is remoued in some distance so our vntoward vnthankfull hearts cannot iudge of the excellency and sweetnesse of present graces but when they are withdrawne a while from vs then doe we more cheerefully behold and fully obserue the riches of thy bounty mercy in them This ioy of thy saluation consisteth in an assured
slaine from the beginning of the world yet as a fruite of our repentance expects from vs a holy reuenge vpon our selues We must iudge our selues that wee bee not iudged and least our iudgements become fruitlesse and elusory We must put them in execution seuerely without pitty or partiality Let vs therefore preuent his face of Maiesty his countenance of Authority by confession wich confession is a profession of forsaking our former faults The Iudge we cannot the iudgement we may preuent if we take the opportunity and repent truly and timely of our sinnes thou wilt mercifully and graciously repent thee of the iudgements denounced doomed against vs. Therefore it be houeth euery man to keepe a Court at home and therin to sit as chiefe iustice to indict and arraigne himself at the barre of his owne conscience where he findes the fault there to inflict punishment In as much as at these Assizes the heart must needes be found the greatest offender because from the heart doth flow all vaine and sinfull imaginations all idle and wicked words all lewde and scandalous actions let him doe Iustice vpon his heart in the first place let him correct the pride of it by humiliation the wantonnesse of it by contrition the iolity of it by sorrow the stubornenesse of it by weeping the gluttony of it by fasting the couetousnesse of it by almes-giuing and so according to the rule of Physicke cure each contrary by his contrary affection The physicke must bee applied to that part of the body which is ill affected the salue laid vpon the place that is sore Where the sinne breedes swels there must the sinner cut and launce He must pricke his heart to the quicke and let out store of teares as the former and latter rayne As our hearts haue beene fatted and pampered as it were with sinne so they should grow leane and meagre againe by sorrow for sinne Looke how much the lesse I spare my selfe so much the more wilt thou spare me My repentance doth in a sort execute thy vengeance and with a temporall vexation doth preuent and auoide thine eternall damnation by casting me downe it lifts me vp by making me vgly in mine own it presents me pure in thine eyes by accusing it doth excuse by condemning it doth acquite me It is a kind of vnhappinesse to be seared and cauterized with an hot yron and fretted with an eating powder but those meanes and medicines which doe cure by sharpenesse and sowernesse by the benefit which they procure doe excuse their distastfulnes and by the succeeding profit do allay the present paine By sin thy spirit takes occasiō to increase grace not by the nature of sinne but by the soueraignety of that spirit which euen of sinnes makes a plaister against sin For I being as sicke of sorrow as of sinne may hopefully resort to thee the Physitian of my soule whose end of comming into the world is to cure the sicke especially such as feele themselues sicke enen at the heart I must breake my golden Calfe that is any idoll of sinne which my corrupt heart doth serue and worship I must burne it with zeale and with contrition grinde it to powder and then strowing it vpon the water of teares drinke it vp againe By this thy gracious meanes an Antidote will bee drawne out of poyson the oyle will cure the bitings of Scorpions the worme wil gnaw the wood the moth the cloth that bred it the very excrements of my sinfull soule like dung and mannor will fatten and make it fruitefull in goodnesse The hunted and wounded Hart by eating of an herbe knows how to helpe and heale himselfe and to make the arrow that pierced his ribbes to fall to the ground The Swallow when she hath put out the eyes of her young ones knowes by an herbe of her owne name how to restore their sight againe Thy herbe of grace the iuyce whereof is our repentance doth expell the fiery darts of Sathan shot by sinne into our soules and this eye-salue doth cause vs though neuer so much blinded with sinne to see both our error in committing and thy mercy in pardoning our offences The most powerfull rhetoricke to mooue thee to pitty is repentance and the most delightfull Musicke in thine eares is that dolefull ditty tuned to a trembling tongue and a quauering voyce peccaui in coelum c. Against thee against thee onely I haue offended The string bends the strongest bowe the fire mollifies the hardest steel the Goates blood breakes euen the Adamant I hope my harts humble and melting repentance will appease thy hottest and heauiest indignation conceiued against me The most worne and torne linnen by contusion and grinding in the Mill makes smooth and white paper Euen so my most base and rotten ragges of vanity and wickednesse by true contrition with thy benediction will produce a cleane heart and renew a right spirit within mee The corruption and consumption of the one will prooue the generation or regeneration of the other To sacrifice to kill are expressed by one and the same word in holy writ because euery sacrifice was slaine in thy Leuiticall lawe but this breaking of my heart and offering my body in sacrifice to thee is an Euangelicall sacrifice because therin which may seeme strange the sacrifice is slaine and yet liueth For it is my faith not my death which thou seekest thou thirstest for my holy desires not my polluted blood thou art appeased with my willingnesse to renounce the world not with my departure out of the world This was Abraham the Father of all thy faithfull ones his sacrifice which thou requiredst of him For what did Abraham but offer his owne body in his Son What didst thou require of him but his Faith who as thou diddest command his Sonne to be offered so thou wouldest not suffer him to be killed I hold it a wise and an aduantageous course in any man to dye to sinne that hee may liue to righteousnesse to mortifie the old man that hee may bee quickened in the new to dye daily that hee may liue eternally Wherefore I will dye that I may not dye I will wound my hart with temporary contrition that I may auoyde the deadly wounds of 〈◊〉 who desires my euerlasting destruction I will liue a dying life that I may not dye a 〈◊〉 death For thy sake are we killed all the day long and right deare in thy sight is this death of thy Saints Here I can bee contented to stirre vp an holy emulation betweene those that thus dye and such as are stoned burned or otherwise done to death for defence of thine honor and testimony of thy trueth who by excellency are termed Martyrs These dye but once and at once their paine is soone past but the other dye a lingering death they dye daily and continually It is accounted a mittigation of cruelty and a
things in heauen earth for the seruice of man and man for thy seruice who hast disposed all things in number 〈◊〉 and measure who hast caused all things contained in holy Writ to be recorded for the instruction and direction of thy Church and chosen giue me grace so to behold this mirror of humane frailety and diuine mercy with the eye of true iudgement that I may not with the Spider draw poyson to the destruction but with the Bee sucke such honey as may bee gathered out of it to the solace of my sinfull soule Thou diddest permit Dauid being an holy Prophet as well as a mighty King aduanced anoynted specially for the gouernement of thy people to fall fouly into the heynous and grieuous sinnes of Adultery and Murder that no man might presume of thy fauor or confide in his owne strength but euermore serue thee in feare and reioyce in thee with reuerence Thou didst also endue him with grace after his fall by humiliation and repentance to rise againe and recouer his former estate notwithstanding his long security and carelesse continuance vpon the dregs of his wickednesse as it were in contempt of thy Iustice that no man might dispaire of thy rich and tender mercy Thou didst propound his fall for caution that all men might shun that dangerous racke whereon he suffered shipwracke his repentance for imitation that euery man plunged into the sea of sinne might catch hould of the planke of repentance to saue himselfe from drowning As thou didst bring light out of darkenesse and life out of death so dost thou in an incomprehensible manner draw good out of euill turne the very sinnes of thy seruants to thy glory and their good Farre be it from mee to vouch this example by way of excuse or defence much lesse warrant to offend as hee did howbeit 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 hope confidently with Dauid when and after I haue offended through thy gracious goodnesse and free promise by the teares of mine eyes the contrition of my heart and prayer of my spirit to obtaine a full and gracious pardon of all my offences whatsoeuer Thou canst not O Lord but be highly displesed when wormes of the earth dust and ashes rottennesse and corruption hauing without any desert at all beene adorned with thy gifts and enlightened with thy graces shall presume of thy fauour so farre as vngraciously and vngratefully instead of thankes and prayses to returne contempts and dishonours to thy diuine Maiesty But on the other side thou canst in no wise endure that the most wretched caitiffe the most shamefull and wilfull sinner that Satan can furnish out of hell should despaire of thine endlesse and bottomelesse mercy wherein aboue all other things thou dost so much delight and glory which doth so farre surmount thy iustice as thou dost continually wooe inuite thy greatest enemies to the participation thereof O Lord being a sinner as Dauid was I cannot but pray for mercy as he did and because I haue grieuosly sinned pray for great mercy and because I haue many times and many waies multiplied my sins so as they are growne to a number numberlesses pray for a multitude of thy tender mercies that the whole debt-booke wherein my sinnes are registred may be quite crossed and defaced I must begge againe and againe that thou wilt wash me againe againe wash mee thorowly from the pollution and filth of my sinne Giue me grace O Lord to see my sinnes fully to confesse them freely intirely to giue thee the glory to take the shame to my selfe deseruedly Giue me leaue to lay open my festred wounds and lothsome sores to thy viewe in abasement and humiliation to stirre thy bowels of tender commiseration Make me to loue in my selfe what thou louest inme to wit truth and sincerity of heart accept O Lord my honest study and faithfull indeuour for true and full performance Let me solace my soule in the conscience of my vnfained sorrow for my sins past and my true though weake desires to serue thee better in time to come for which purpose enable me with wisedome teach me the art of godlinesse and the mysteries thereof in my hidden parts And because the Leprosie of sin hath infected mee from top to toe temper and prepare for mee a powerfull purgation with those ingredients which are of strongest operation that is without shadowes or figures the bloud of that Immaculate Lambe slayne from the beginning of the world applied by a liuely faith to my diseased soule Be pleased to bathe my vgly soule in thy Lauer of Iustification till I become white and bright in thy pure and piercing eyes Let mee when I am confounded in my selfe and cast downe into the Dungeon of Sorrow through the sight of my sinnes yet hopefully and zealously seeke ioy and comfort in thee and thy saluation Let mee so place my sinnes before mine owne sorrowfull face that thou mayest hide thy face at least thine angry face from them or rather so quite deface them that they may 〈◊〉 be to be seene hereafter that they may 〈◊〉 rise vp in iudgement either to shame me in this or condemne me in the next world And because my iustification which consists in thy free remission of my sinnes cannot subsist without sanctification and holinesse of conuersation as the light of that Lampe and heate of that fire And because it is impossible to draw a cleane out of an vncleane thing I beseech thee Lord to worke a wonder on me that is to create a cleane heart within mee Purge the fountain and then the streames which 〈◊〉 from it in my thoughts words and actions will be clearer and purer Giue mee a 〈◊〉 spirit that 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 carry my selfe 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 thee and for 〈◊〉 this spirit 〈◊〉 becomes decayed and distorted by the peruersnesse of my nature and obliquity of my transgressions vouchsafe to renew it in me from time to time by a continuall supply of thy heauenly grace Although I haue many wayes and times deserued thy iust indignatiō yet for thy mercies sake abandon me not from thy presence banish mee not from thy Courts let me behold thy face though ouerclouded with a storme of displeasure Although I haue grieued yea and despighted thy good spirit when it endeauoured my reformation direction and consolation yet I beseech thee not to take it vtterly from me let not that holy fire though raked vp vnder the ashes of my sins bee quite extinguished When thou doest for my sinnes bereaue mee of the comfortable confidence I found in the assurance of thy saluation giue mee leaue to claime still mine interest in it euen when I tremble and quake at thy iudgements and thereby to craue a restitution of that tranquility of minde and peace of conscience which I formerly enioyed with contentment make mee by the want rightly to value the worth of so great a fauour then which
a greater cannot be bestowed vpon the soule of man whiles it is confined within this valley of teares inclosed within this bodie of death And because through the frailty of my flesh and the fraud of Satan I am so prone to recidiuation and backe shding so ready to fall away from thee euen 〈◊〉 many Apostasies pardoned vnlesse I be still vpheld and supported giue me thy free spirit that 〈◊〉 may cheerefully thy firme spirit that I may constantly accomplish thy blessed will and 〈◊〉 in 〈◊〉 good duties that 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 vnto me And for that thankefulnesse is the best returne for benefits receiued and the strongest meanes to purchase new fauours giue mee grace as to promise so to performe gratitude euery way and euermore highly to esteeme and zealously to affect the reducing reclaiming and conuerting of sinners and impious persons those that erre in their religion or conuersation or both as the most acceptable seruice that can be done vnto thee vpon earth Teach me to vse all earnest compellation and powerfull insinuation to winne thy fauour againe when I haue forfeited it by committing some grieuous sin especially quicken mee by faith to make a particular application and appropriation as it were of thy saluation to mine owne soule which pious presumption and holy ambition thou art well pleased withall Giue me grace with the deepest straine of my hart and the loudest tone and tune of my voyce to magnifie thy marueilous goodnesse Though I be lesse then the least of thy mercies yet teach me in duty and discretion for more bountifull fauours to returne more plentifull praises If I be deliuered from a crying sinne I ought of congruence to sing aloud of thy iustice which giuing assurance of thy mercy by performance of thy couenant of grace cannot but produce an exultation of the heart and an exaltation of the voyce and tongue in the celebration of thy iust praises But alas how can I make that poore returne for thy rich mercies which mee thinkes I ought to vowe and promise When all is done I must therein also craue thy blessed assistance that thou wilt be pleased to open my lips and to vntie my tongue strings I must owe thee for that grace also and goe on thy score euen for those praises which onely by Eccho I resound vnto 〈◊〉 Blessed be thy name O Lord who in my deepest distresse and heauiest condition for my sinnes when I seeke for ease and reliefe tellest mee the meanes whereby thine anger may be appeased and thy fauour redeemed Thou requirest no sacrifice that with labour and charge should bee purchased abroad but such as is or should be at home and within me thou expectest no other satisfaction from me but the humiliation of my proud heart and the sorrow of my rebellious soule O wonderfull goodnesse O vnspeakeable mercie What more fauourable termes can be deuised or propounded then that thou wilt accept my submission and reconciliation so as I will aske thee forgiuenesse humbly and freely professe and expresse effectually mine hearty repentance for the manifold sinnes I haue committed against thy divine Maiestie Out of the the apprehension of this louing kindnesse and tender compassion if there were nothing else I ought to melt into teares of griefe breake my heard hart bruize my obstinate spirit which haue transported me so farre and plunged me so deepe into thy displeasure O Lord inable mee whom thou hast ordained a Priest for this purpose to offer daily and duly this acceptable sacrifice vnto thee which I should the more willingly present because it no way intends the destruction of my body but the correctiō of my soule I am only to slay my sensuality to quell my vnruly affections and subdue them to thy holy will for mine own good not to impech nature but to increase grace and for my better incouragemēt to this mortification thou art graciously pleased to vse this protestation that If I iudge my selfe thou wilt not iudge me if I chastise my selfe thou wilt not condemne mee if I execute my owne iust and vnpartiall sentence against mine owne heart the capitall offender thou wilt fauourably spare and mercifully pardon mee for euer O Lord I pray not for my selfe alone but for thy whole Church wheresoeuer dispersed howsoeuer distressed vpon the face of the earth As I pray that thou wilt bee mercifull to mee particularly so I beg also that thou wilt be fauourable to Sion vniuersally Being a member of that mystical body whereof thy Christ is the head so long as I haue spirituall life in me I cannot but resent such afflictions as any of thy chosen do sustaine ô Lord I pray thee for Ierusalem the kingdom wherein I liue that peace may be within her walls prosperity in her palaces I cannot but out of honest affection wish well to my brethren neighbours and companions that their persons may be protected their walls of wood or stone reedifyed fo often as neede requireth that not for necessity onely but for comelinesse also But I must still professe that I regard the Case for the 〈◊〉 sake which is compassed therewith the Common-wealth for thy house and that portion of thy Church that is preserued therein I respect chiefely Sion thy darling and the ioy of the whole earth My precious goods are imbarqued in that ship What fortune betides them I am contented shall befall me I will sympathise reioyce and mourne with them vpon all occasions I doe acknowledge no neerer affinity no deerer consanguinity no better fraternity then is Christianity nay my spirituall kindred is of more esteeme with mee 〈◊〉 any naturall or legall coniunction whatsoeuer O Lord shew thy fauor to Sion for thy good pleasures sake shee hath no other motiue to induce thee no other mediator to intercede with thee Bee gracious to her for his sake in whom thou art well pleased Be pleased of thy selfe thine owne goodnes for thy selfe thine owne glory to shew this loue vnto thy Spouse though foule in her owne nature yet faire by thy gracious acceptation These graces O Lord which I begge zealously for my selfe and others I beseech thee to grant mercifuly that I may 〈◊〉 thee with prayse and prayse thee with loue that I may thankefully acknowledge thy gracious goodnesse and in testimony thereof render vnto thee all honour and glory all manner of prayses and thankes all the dayes of my life euen for euer and euer Amen FINIS Bern. ad frat in Mon. Tertul. de Paenit Aug. in 〈◊〉 51. Chrysost. in hunc Psalmum Psal. 103. Melius impressum quà m expressum innotescit In his non capit intelligentia nisi quantum attingit 〈◊〉 Bern. in Cant. 3. Qui non gustauerit non intelliget quà m 〈◊〉 sapit mel Aug. in Psal. 30. Rom. 5. Miserationum Dei nec magnitudo mensurari nec multitudo numerari potest Basil. Ierem. 31. Psal. 38. Iob. 7. Iohn 13. Rom. 12. 〈◊〉