folly But to distrust our selves we have great cause So that if we will make sure of Heaven it must be by giving all diligence to make firm our Title our Calling and our Election here on Earth If we fear Hell we must fear being prepared for it And it is great and difficult work that must be here done It 's here that we must be cured of all damning sin That we must be Regenerate and new Born that we must be pardoned and justified by Faith It 's here that we must be united to Christ made wise to Salvation renewed by his Spirit and conformed to his likeness It 's here that we must overcome all the temptations of the Devil the World and the Flesh and perform all the duties toward God and Man that must be rewarded It 's here that Christ must be believed in with the Heart to Righteousness and with the Mouth confessed to Salvation It 's here that we must suffer with him that we may reign with him and be faithful to the Death that we may receive the Crown of Life Here we must so run that we may obtain III. Yea we have greater work here to do than meer securing our own Salvation We are 〈◊〉 of the World and Church and we must labour to do good to many We are trusted with our Masters Talents for his Service in our places to do our best to propagaâ—e his Truth and Grace and Church and to bring home Souls and Honour his cause and edifie his Flock and further the Salvation of as many as we can All this is to be done on Earth if we will secure the end of all in Heaven Use I. It is then an errour though it is but few I think that are guilty of it to think that all Religion lieth in minding only the Life to come and disregarding all things in this present life All true Christians must seriously mind both the End and the Means or way If they mind not believingly the End they will never be faithful in the use of means If they mind not and use not diligently the Means they will never obtain the End None can use Earth well that prefer not Heaven And none come to Heaven at Age that are not prepared by well using Earth Heaven must have the deepest esteem and habituated love and desire and joy But Earth must have more of our daily thoughts for present practice A Man that travelleth to the most desirable home hath a habit of desire to it all the way But his present business is his travel And Horse and Company and Inns and Waies and Weariness c. may take up more of his sensible Thoughts and of his Talk and Action than his Home Use II. I have oft marvelled to find David in the Psalms and other Saints before Christ's coming to have expressed so great a sense of the things of this present life and to have said so little of another To have made so great a matter of Prosperity Dominions and Victories on one Hand and of Enemies Success and Persecution on the other But I consider that it was not for meer Personal Carnal interest but for the Church of God and for his Honour Word and Worship And they knew that if things go well with us on Earth they will be sure to go well in Heaven If the militant Church prosper in Holiness there is no doubt but it will triumph in Glory God will be sure to do his part in receiving Souls if they be here prepared for his receipt And Satan doth much of his damning work by men If we escape their temptations we escape much of our danger If Idolaters prospered Israel was tempted to Idolatry The Greek Church is almost swallowed up by Turkish Prosperity and Dominion Most follow the powerful and Prosperous side And therefore for God's cause and for heavenly everlasting interest our own state but much more the Churches must be greatly regarded here on Earth Indeed if earth be desired only for Earth and Prospirity loved but for the present welfare of the Flesh it is the certain Mark of damning carnality and an earthly mind But to desire Peace and Prosperity and Power to be in the hands of wise and faithful men for the sake of Souls and the increase of the Church and the Honour of God that his Name may be hallowed his Kingdom come and his Will done on Earth as it is in Heaven this is to be the chief of our Prayers to God Use III. Be not unthankful then O my Soul for the Mercies of this present life for those to thy Body to thy Friends to the Land of thy Nativity and specially to the Church of God I. This Body is so nearly united to thee that it must needs be a great help or hinderance Had it been more afflicted it might have been a discouraging clog like a tired Horse in a Journey or an ill Tool to a Workman or an untuned Instrument in Musick A sick or bad Servant in an House is a great trouble And a bad Wife much more But thy Body is nearer thee than either and will be more of thy concern And yet if it had been more Strong and Healthful Sense and Appetite would have been strong and Lust would have been strong and therefore danger would have been greater and Victory and Salvation much more difficult Even weak Senses and Temptations have too oft prevailed How knowest thou then what stronger might have done When I see a thirsty Man in a Feaver or Dropsie and specially when I see strong and healthful youths bred up in fulness and among temptations how mad they are in sin and how violently they are carried to it bearing down God's rebukes and Conscience and Parents and Friends and all regard to their Salvation it tells me how great a Mercy I had even in a Body not liable to their case And many a bodily deliverance hath been of great use to my Soul renewing my time and opportunity and strength for Service and bringing frequent and fresh reports of the Love of God If bodily Mercies were not of great use to the Soul Christ would not so much have shewed his saving love by healing all manner of diseases as he did Nor would God promise us a Resurrection of the Body if a congruous Body did not further the welfare of the Soul 2. And I am obliged to great thankfulness to God for the Mercies of this life which he hath shewed to my Friends that which furthers their joy should increase mine I ought to rejoice with them that rejoice Nature and Grace teach us to be glad when our Friends are well and prosper Though all in order to better things than bodily welfare 3. And such Mercies of this life to the Land of our Habitation must not be undervalued The want of them are parts of God's threatned Curse and godliness hath the Promise of this life and of that which is to come and so is profitable to
me the Light of the Sun than the Light of thy Countenance Less miserable had I been without Life or Being than without thy Grace Without thee and my Saviour's help I can do nothing I did not live without thee I could not pray or learn without thee I never could conquer a temptation without thee and can I die or be prepared to die without thee Alas I shall but say as Philip of Christ I know not whither my Soul is going and how then shall I know the way My Lord having loved his own in the World did love them to the end Thou lovest fidelity and perseverance in thy Servants even those that in his sufferings forsook him and fled yet are commended and rewarded by Christ for continuing with him in his temptations Luk. 22. 28. And wilt thou forsake a sinner in his extremity who consenteth to thy Covenant and would not forsake thee My God I have often sinned against thee but yet thou knowest I would fain be thine I have not served thee with the resolution fidelity and delight as such a Master should have been served but yet I would not forsake thy service nor change my Master or my Work I can say with thy Servant Paul Act. 27. 23. that thou art the GOD WHOSE I AM and WHOM I SERVE and O that I could serve thee better For to serve thee is but to Receive thy Grace and to use it for my own and others good and so to glorifie thee and please thy will which being LOVE it self is pleased best when we receive and do most good I have not loved thee as Infinite Goodness and Love it self and fatherly Bounty should have been loved but yet I would not forsake thy Family and nothing in this World is more my grief than that I love thee no more forsake not then a sinner that would not forsake thee that looketh every hour towards thee that feeleth it as a piece of Hell to be so dark and strange unto thee that gropeth and groaneth and gaspeth after thee feeling to his greatest sorrow though thou art every where that while he is present in the body he is absent from the Lord. My Lord I have nothing to do in this World but to seek and serve thee I have nothing to do with a Heart and its affections but to breath after thee I have nothing to do with my Tongue and Pe◠but to speak to thee and for thee and to publish thy Glory and thy Will What have I to do with all my Reputation and Interest in my Friends but to increase thy Church and propagate thy holy Truth and Service What have I to do with my remaining Time even these last and languishing hours but to look up unto thee and wait for thy Grace and thy Salvation O pardon all my carnal thoughts and all my unthankful neglects of thy precious Grace and Love and all my wilful sin against thy Truth and thee and let the fuller Communications of thy forfeited Grace now tell me by experience that thou dost forgive me Even under the terrible Law thou didst tell Man thy very Nature by proclaiming thy Name Exod. 34 6 7. The Lord the Lord God merciful and gracious long-suffering and abundant in goodness and Truth keeping mercy for thousands forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin and is not the Grace of our Lord Jesus Christ revealed in the Gospel for our more abundant Faith and Consolation My God I know as I cannot Love thee according to thy Loveliness so I cannot Trust thee according to thy Faithfulness I can never be sufficiently confident of thy alsufficient Power thy Wisdom and thy Goodness When I have said as Psal 77. 7. Will the Lord cast off for ever and will he be favourable no more Is his mercy clean gone for ever doth his Promise fail to Generations hath God forgotten to be gracious hath he in anger shut up his tender mercies Conscience hath replied that This is my infirmity I never wanted comfort because thou wantedst mercy but because I wanted Faith and fitness to receive it and perceive it But hast thou not mercy also to give me even that Fitness and that Faith My God all is of thee and through thee and all is to thee and when I have the felicity the Glory of all for ever will be thine None that trusteth in thee according to thy Nature and Promise shall be ashamed If I can live and die in Trusting in thee surely I shall not be confounded § 12. Why then should it seem a difficult Question how I may willingly leave this World and my Soul depart to Christ in Peace The same Grace which regenerated me must bring me to my desired end as the same Principle of Vegetation which causeth the Bud must bring the Fruit to sweet maturity 1. BELIEVE and TRUST thy Father thy Saviour and thy Comforter II. And HOPE for the joyful entertainments of his Love and for the blessed state which he hath promised III. And long by LOVE for nearer Union and Communion with him and thus O my Soul thou mayest depart in Peace I. How sure is the Promise of God How suitable to his Love and to the Nature of our Souls and to the operations of every Grace It is initially performed here whilst our desires are turned towards him and the heavenly seed and spark is here ingenerated in a Soul that was dead and dark and disaffected Is it any strange thing for Fire to ascend yea or the fiery Principle of Vegetation in a Tree to carry up the earthy matter to a great procerity Is it strange that Rivers should hasten to the Sea Whither should Spirits go but to the Region or World of Spirits and whither should Christ's Members and holy Spirits go but to himself and the heavenly Society And is not that a more holy and glorious place and state than this below Earth is between Heaven and Hell a place of gross and passive matter where Spirits may indeed operate upon that which needeth them and where they may be detained a while in such operation or as incorporated Forms if not incarcerate Delinquents but it is not their center end or home Even sight and reason might persuade me that all the noble Invisible powers that operate on this lower World do principally belong unto a higher and what can Earth add to their Essence Dignity or Perfection § 13. But why O my Soul art thou so vainly solicitous to have formal clear distinct conceptions of the Celestial World and the individuation and operations of separated Souls any more than of the Angels While thou art the formal Principle of an animated Body thy conceptions must be but suitable to their present state and use When thou art possessed of a better state thou shalt know it as a possessor ought to do For such a knowledge as thou lookest after is part of the possession And to long to Know and Love in Clearness and Perfection is to
a Nature to us Else they would not cease at Death But holy LOVE is our New Nature and therefore ceaseth not with this bodily life And shall accidental love make me desire the company of a frail and mutable Friend And shall not this ingrafted inseparable love make me long to be with Christ Though the love of God to all his Creatures will not prove that they are all Immortal nor oblige them to expect another life that never had Capacity or Faculties to expect it yet his love to such as in Nature and Grace are made capable of it doth warrant and oblige them to believe and hope for the full Perfection of the work of love Some comfort themselves in the love of St. Peter as having the Keys of Heaven And how many could I name that are now with Christ who loved me so faithfully on Earth that were I sure they had the Keys and Power of Heaven and were not changed in their Love I could put my departing Soul into their Hands and die with joy And is it not better in the Hand of my Redeemer and of the God of Love and Father of Spirits Is any love comparable to his Or any Friend so boldly to be trusted I should take it for ungrateful unkindness in my Friend to doubt of my love and trustiness if I had given him all that he hath and maintained him constantly by my kindness But O how odious a thing is sin Which by destroying our love to God doth make us unmeer to believe and sweetly perceive his Love And by making us doubt of the Love of God and lose the pleasant relish of it doth more increase our difficulty of loving him The Title that the Angel gave to Daniel A Man greatly beloved of God methinks should be enough to make one joyfully love and trust God both in life and death Will Almighty LOVE ever hurt me or forsake me And have not all Saints that Title in their degrees What else signifieth their Mark and Name HOLINESS TO THE LORD What is it but our separation to God as his peculiar beloved People And how are they separated but by mutual love and our forsaking all that alienateth or is contrary Let Scorners deride us as self flatterers that believe they are God's Darlings and wo to the Hypocrites that believe it on their false Presumption without such belief or grounded hopes I see not how any Man can die in true Peace He that is no otherwise beloved than Hypocrites and Unbelievers must have his portion with them And he that is no otherwise beloved than as the ungodly unholy and unregenerate shall not stand in judgment nor see God nor enter into his Kingdom Most upright Souls are to blame for groundless doubting of God's Love but not for acknowledging it rejoicing in it and in their doubts being most solicitous to make it sure Love brought me into the World and furnished me with a Thousand Mercies Love hath provided for me delivered me and preserved me till now And will it not entertain my separated Soul Is God like false or insufficient Friends that forsake us in adversity I confess that I have wronged LOVE by sin by many and great unexcusable sins But all save Christ himself were sinners which love did purifie and receive to Glory God who is rich in Mercy for the great love wherewith he loved us even when we were dead in sins hath quickned us together with Christ by Grace we are saved and hath raised us up together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus Eph. 2. 4 5 6. O that I could love much that have so much forgiven The glorified praised him who loved us and washed us from our sins in his own Blood and made us Kings and Priests to God Rev. 1. 5 6. Our Father that hath loved us giveth us consolation and good hope through Grace 2 Thess 2. 16. I know no sin which I repent not of with self-loathing And I earnestly beg and labour that none of my sins may be to me unknown I dare not justifie even what is any way uncertain though I dare not call all that my sin which siding men of differing judgments on each side passionately call so While both sides do it on contrary accounts and not to go contrary ways is a Crime O that God would bless my accusations to my illumination that I may not be unknown to my self Though some think me much better than I am and others much worse it most concerneth me to know the Truth my self flattery would be more dangerous to me than false accusations I may safelier be ignorant of other mens sins than of my own Who can understand his errours Cleanse me Lord from secret sins and let not ignorance or errour keep me in impenitence and keep thou me back from presumptuous sins Psal 19. 12 13. I have an Advocate with the Father and thy Promise that he that confesseth and forsaketh his sins shall have Mercy Those are by some men taken for my greatest sins which my most serious Thoughts did judge to be the greatest of my outward duties and which I performed through the greatest difficulties and which cost me dearest to the Flesh and the greatest self-denial and patience in my reluctant Mind Where-ever I have erred Lord make it known to me that my confession may prevent the sin of others and where I have not erred confirm and accept me in the right And seeing an unworthy Worm hath had so many Testimonies of thy tender love let me not be like them Mal. 1. 1 2. that when thou saidst I have loved you unthankfully asked Wherein hast thou loved us Heaven is not more spangled with Stars than thy Word and Works with the refulgent Signatures of Love Thy well beloved Son the Son of thy Love undertaking the Office Message and Work of the greatest Love was full of that Spirit which is Love which he sheds abroad in the Hearts of thine Elect that the Love of the Father the Grace of the Son and the communion of the Spirit may be their hope and life His Works his Sufferings his Gifts as well as his comfortable Word did say to his Disciples Joh. 15. 9. As the Father loved me so have I loved you continue ye in my love And how Lord shall we continue in it but by the thankful belief of thy love and loveliness desiring still to love thee more and in all things to know and please thy Will Which thou knowest is my Souls desire Behold then O my Soul with what Love the Father Son and Holy Spirit have loved thee that thou should be made and called a Son of God redeemed regenerate adopted into that Covenant-state of Grace in which thou standest Rejoice therefore in hope of the Gâ—ory of God Rom. 5. 1 2. being justified by Faith having Peace with God and access by Faith and Hope that maketh not ashamed that being reconciled when an Enemy by the Death of Christ I shall be saved
all things And when God sends on a Land the Plagues of Famine Pestilence War Persecution especially a Famine of the Word of God it is a great sin to be insensible of it If any shall say while Heaven is sure we have no cause to accuse God or to cast away comfort hope or duty they say well But if they say Because Heaven is all we must make light of all that befalleth us on Earth They say amiss Good Princes Magistrates and publick Spirited men that promote the safety Peace and true Prosperity of the Common-wealth do thereby very much befriend Religion and mens Salvation and are greatly to be loved and honoured by all If the Civil State called the Common-wealth do miscarry or fall into ruine and calamity the Church will fare the worse for it as the Soul doth by the ruines of the Body The Turkish Muscovite and such other Empires tell us how the Church consumeth and dwindles away into contempt or withered Ceremony and Formality where Tyranny brings Slavery Beggary or long Persecution on the Subjects Doubtless divers passages in the Revelations contain the Churches glorifying of God for their Power and Prosperity on Earth when Emperors became Christians What else can be meant well by Rev. 9. 10. Hath made us Kings and Priests to God and we shall Reign on the Earth but that Christians shall be brought from under Heathen Persecution and have Rule and Sacred Honour in the World some of them being Princes some honoured Church Guides and all a peculiar honoured People And had not Satan found out that cursed way of getting wicked men that hate true godliness and peace into the Sacred places of Princes and Pastors to do his work against Christ as in Christ's Name surely no good Christians would have grudged at the Power of Rulers of State or Church Sure I am that many called Fifth Monarchy men seem to make this their great Hope that Rule shall be in the Hands of Righteous men And I think most Religious Parties would rejoice if those had very great Power whom they take to be the best and trustiest men Which shews that it is not the greatness of Power in most Princes or sound Bishops that they dislike but the badness real or supposed of those whose Power they mislike Who will blame Power to do good Sure the three first and great Petitions of the Lord's Prayer include some temporal welfare of the World and Church without which the Spiritual rarely prospereth extensively though intensively in a few it may since Miracles ceased 4. Be thankful therefore for all the Churches Mercies here on Earth For all the protection of Magistracy the Plenty of Preachers the perservation from Enemies the restraint of Persecution the Concord of Christians and increase of Godliness which in this Land it hath had in our Ages notwithstanding all Satan's malignant rage and all the bloody Wars that have interrupted our tranquillity How many Psalms of joyful thanksgiving be there for Israel's deliverances and the perservation of Zion and God's Worship in his Sanctuary Pray for the Peace of Jerusalem They shall prosper that love it specially that the Gospel is continued while so many rage against it is a Mercy not to be made light of Use IV. Be specially thankful O my Soul that God hath made any use of thee for the Service of his Church on Earth My God my Soul for this doth magnifie thee and my Spirit rejoiceth in the review of thy great undeserved Mercy O what am I whom thou took'st up from the Dunghil or low obscurity that I should live my self in the constant relish of thy Sweet and Sacred Truth and with such encoucouraging success communicate it to others That I must say now my publick work seems ended that these Forty three or Forty four years I have no reason to think that ever I laboured in vain O with what gratitude must I look upon all places where I lived and laboured but above all that place that had my strength I bless thee for the great numbers gone to Heaven and for the continuance of Piety Humiliation Concord and Peace among them And for all that by my Writings have received any saving Light and Grace O my God let not my own Heart be barren while I labour in thy Husbandry to bring others unto Holy fruit Let me not be a stranger to the Life and Power of that saving Truth which I have done so much to communicate to others O let not my own Words and Writings condemn me as void of that Divine and Heavenly Nature and Life which I have said so much for to the World Use V. Stir up then O my Soul thy sincere desires and all thy Faculties to do the remnant of the work of Christ appointed thee on Earth and then joyfully wait for the heavenly Perfection in God's own time Thou canst truly say To live to me is Christ It is his work for which thou livest Thou hast no other business in the World But thou dost his work with the mixture of many oversights and imperfections and too much troublest thy Thoughts distrustfully about God's part who never faileth If thy work be done be thankful for what is past and that thou art come so near the Port of rest If God will add any more to thy daies serve him with double alacrity now thou art so near the end The Prize is almost within sight Time is swift and short Thou hast told others that there is no working in the Grave and that it must be now or never Though the conceit of meriting of commutative Justice be no better than madness dream not that God will save the wicked no nor equally reward the slothful and the diligent because Christ's Righteousness was perfect Paternal Justice maketh difference according to that worthiness which is so denominated by the Law of Grace And as sin is its own punishment Holiness and Obedience is much of its own reward Whatever God appointeth thee to do see that thou do it sincerely and with all thy might If sin dispose men to be angry because it is detected disgraced and resisted if God be pleased their wrath should be patiently born who will shortly be far more angry with themselves If slander and obloquy survive so will the better effects on those that are converted And there is no comparison between these I shall not be hurt when I am with Christ by the Calumnies of men on Earth But the saving benefit will by converted Sinners be enjoyed everlastingly Words and actions are transient things and being once past are nothing But the effect of them on an immortal Soul may be endless All the Sermons that I have preached are nothing now But the Grace of God on Sanctified Souls is the beginning of Eternal life It is unspeakable Mercy to be sincerely thus employed with success therefore I had reason all this while to be in Pauls streight and make no hast in my desires to depart
The Crown will come in its due time And Eternity is long enough to enjoy it how long soever it be delayed But if I will do that which must obtain it for my self and others it must be quickly done before my declining sun be set O that I had no worse causes of my unwillingness yet to die than my desire to do the work of life for my own and other mens Salvation And to finish my course with joy and the Ministry committed to me by the Lord. Use VI. And as it is on Earth that I must do good to others so it must be in a manner suited to their state on Earth Souls are here closely united to Bodies by which they must receive much good or hurt Do good to mens Bodies if thou wouldst do good to their Souls Say not Things corporeal are worthless Trifles for which the receivers will be never the better They are things that nature is easily sensible of And sense is the passage to the mind and will Dost not thou find what a help it is to thy self to have at any time any ease and alâ—crity of Body And what a burden and hinderance pains and cares are Labour then to free others from such burdens and temptations and be not regardless of them If thou must rejoice with them that rejoice and mourn with them that mourn further thy own joy in furthering theirs and avoid thy own sorrows in avoiding or curing theirs But alas what power hath selfishness in most How easily do we bear our Brethrens pains reproaches wants and afflictions in comparison of our own How few thoughts and how little cost or labour do we use for their supply in comparison of what we do for our selves Nature indeed teacheth us to be most sensible of our own case But Grace tells us that we should not make so great a difference as we do but should love our Neighbours as our selves Use VII And now O my Soul consider how mercifully God hath dealt with thee that thy streight should be between two conditions so desirable I shall either die speedily or stay yet longer upon Earth Which ever it be it will be a Merciful and Comfortable state That it is desirable to depart and be with Christ I must not doubt and shall anon more copiously consider And if my abode on Earth yet longer be so great a Mercy as to be put in the Ballance against my present possession of Heaven surely it must be a state which obligeth me to great thankfulness to God and comfortable acknowledgment And surely it is not my pain or sickness my sufferingâ— from malicious men that should make this Life on Earth unacceptable while God will continue it Paul had his Prick or Thorn in the Flesh the Messenger of Satan to Buffet him and suffered more from men though less in his Health than I have done And yet he gloried in such Infirmities and rejoiced in his Tribulationâ— and was in a streight between living and dying yea rather chose to live yet longer Alas it is another kind of streight that most of the World are in The streight of most is between the desire of Life for fleshly interest and the fear of Death as ending their felicity The streight of many is between a tiring World and Body which maketh them aweary of living and the dreadful prospect of future danger which makes them afraid of dying If they live it is in misery if they must die they are afraid of greater misery which way ever they Look behind or before them to this World or the next fear and trouble is their Lot yea many an upright Christian through the weakness of their Trust in God doth live in this perplexed streight aweary of living and afraid of dying between grief and fear they are prest continually But Paul's streight was between two Joys which of them he should desire most And if that be my case what should much interrupt my Peace or Pleasure If I live it is for Christ for his Work and for his Church for Preparation for my own and others everasting felicity And should any suffering which maketh me not unserviceable make me impatient with such a work and such a life If I die presently it is my gain God who appointeth me my work doth limit my time and sure his glorious reward can never be unseasonable or come too soon if it be the time that he appointeth When I first engaged my self to preach the Gospel I reckoned as probable but upon one or two years And God hath continued me it above Forty four with such interruptions as others in these times have had And what reason have I now to be unwilling either to live or die God's Service hath been so sweet to me that it hath overcome the trouble of constant pains or weakness of the Flesh and all that men have said or done against me But the following Crown exceeds this pleasure more than I am here capable to conceive There is some trouble in all this pleasant work from which the Soul and Flesh would rest And blessed are the dead that die in the Lord Even so saith the Spirit for they rest from their Labours and their Works follow them But O my Soul what need'st thou be troubled in this kind of streight It is not left to thee to choose whether or when thou wilt live or die It is God that will determine it who is infinitely fitter to choose than thou Leave therefore his own work to himself and mind that which is thine whilst thou livest live to Christ and when thou diest thou shalt die to Christ even into his blessed Hands So live that thou maist say It is Christ liveth in me and the life that I live in the Flesh I live by the Faith of the Son of God who loved me and gave himself for me And then as thou hast lived in the comfort of hope thou shalt die unto the comfort of Vision and Fruition And when thou canst say he is the God whose I am and whom I serve thou maist boldly add and whom I trust and to whom I commend my departing Soul And I know whom I have trusted Richard Baxter's Dying Thoughts Philippians 1. 23. For I am in a strait betwixt two having a desire to depart and to be with Christ which is far better or for this is much rather to be preferred or better § 1. MAN that is born of a Woman is of few daies and full of trouble He cometh forth like a Flower and is cut down He fleeth also as a shadow and continueth not And dost thou open thine Eyes upon such a one and bringest me into Judgment with thee saith Job ch 14. v. 1 2 3. As a Watch when it is wound up or as a Candle newly lighted so Man newly conceived or born beginneth a motion which incessantly hasteth to its appointed period And an Action and its Time that is past is Nothing So vain a thing would
see in the brutish Politicks of Benedictus Spinosa in his Tractat. Theolog. Polit. whither the Principles of Infidelity tend If sin so overspread the Earth that the whole world is as drowned in wickedness notwithstanding all the hopes and fears of a life to come what would it do were there no such hopes and fears § 10. 3. And no Mercy can be truly known and estimated nor rightly used and improved by him that seeth not its tendency to the End and perceiveth not that it leadeth to a better Life and useth it not thereunto God dealeth more bountifully with us than worldlings understand He giveth us all the mercies of this life as helps to an immortal state of Glory and as earnests of it Sensualists know not what a Soul is nor what Soul-mercies are and therefore not what the Soul of all bodily mercies are but take up only with the carkass shell or shadow If the King would give me a Lordship and send me a Horse or Coach to carry me to it and I should only ride about the fields for my pleasure and make no other use of it should I not undervalue and lose the principal benefit of my Horse or Coach No wonder if unbelievers be unthankful when they know not at all that part of God's mercies which is the life and real excellency of them § 11. 4. And alas how should I bear with comfort the sufferings of this wretched life without the hopes of a life with Christ What should support and comfort me under my bodily languishings and pains my weary hours and my daily experience of the Vanity and Vexation of all things under the Sun had I not a prospect of a comfortable end of all I that have lived in the midst of great and precious mercies have all my life had something to do to overcome the temptation of wishing that I had never been born and had never overcome it but by the belief of a blessed Life hereafter Solomon's sense of Vanity and Vexation hath long made all the business and wealth and honour and pleasure of this world as such appear such a dream and shadow to me that were it not for the End I could not have much differenced men's sleeping and their waking thoughts nor have much more valued the waking than the sleeping part of life but should have thought it a kind of happiness to have slept from the birth unto the death Children cry when they come into the world and I am often sorry when I am wakened out of a quiet sleep especially to the business of an unquiet day We should be strongly tempted in our considering state to murmure at our Creator as dealing much hardlier by us than by the Brutes if we must have had all those cares and griefs and fears by the knowledge of what we want and the prospect of death and future evils which they are exempted from and had not withal had the hopes of a future felicity to support us Seneca and his Stoicks had no better Argument to silence such murmurers who believed not a better life than to tell them that if this life had more evil than good and they thought God did them wrong they might remedy themselves by ending it when they would But that would not cure the repinings of a Nature who found it self necessarily aweary of the miseries of life and yet afraid of dying And it is no great wonder that many thought that pre-existent Souls were put into these bodies as a punishment of something done in a former life while they foresaw not the hoped End of all our fears and sorrows O how contemptible a thing is man saith the same Seneca unless he lift up himself above humane things Therefore saith Solomon Eccles 2. 17. when he had glutted himself with all temporal pleasures I hated life because the work that is wrought under the Sun is grievous to me For all is vanity and vexation of spirit § 12. II. I have often thought whether an Implicit belief of a future happiness without any search into its nature and thinking of any thing that can be said against it or the searching trying way be better On the one side I have known many godly women that never disputed the matter but served God comfortably to a very old Age between 80 and 100 to have lived many years in a chearful readiness and desire of death and such as few Learned studious men do never attain to in that degree who no doubt had this as a Divine Reward of their long and faithful service of God and trusting in him On the other side a studious man can hardly keep off all Objections or secure his mind against the suggestions of difficulties and doubts and if they come in they must be answered seeing we give them half a victory if we cast them off before we can answer them And a Faith that is not upheld by such evidence of Truth as Reason can discern and justifie is oft joyned with much secret doubting which men dare not open but do not therefore overcome And its weakness may have a weakening deficiency as to all the graces and duties which should be strengthened by it And who knoweth how soon a temptation from Satan or Infidels or our own dark hearts may assault us which will not without such evidence and resolving Light be overcome And yet many that try and reason and dispute most have not the strongest or most powerful Faith § 13. And my thoughts of this have had this issue 1. There is a great difference between that Light which sheweth us the Thing it self and that artificial skill by which we have right Notions Names Definitions and formed Arguments and Answers to Objections This Artificial Logical Organical kind of Knowledge is good and useful in its kind if right like Speech it self But he that hath much of this may have little of the former And unlearned persons that have little of this may have more of the former and may have those inward perceptions of the verity of the Promises Rewards of God which they cannot bring forth into artificial reasonings to themselves or others who are taught of God by the effective sort of Teaching which reacheth the Heart o◠Will as well as the Understanding and is a Giving of what is taught and a Making us such as we are told we must be And who findeth not need to pray hard for this effective Teaching of God when he hath got all Organical Knowledge and Words and Arguments in themselves most apt at his fingers ends as we say When I can prove the Truth of the Word of God and the Life to come with the most convincing undeniable Reasons I feel need to cry and pray daily to God to increase my Faith and to give me that Light which may satisfie the Soul and reach the end § 14. 2. Yet man being a Rational wight is not taught by meer Instinct and Inspiration And therefore this
than long ago Am I at the highest 〈◊〉 Man on Earth can reach and that when I am so dark and low Is there no growth of these apprehensions more to be expected Doth the Soul cease its increase in vigorous Perception when the Body ceaseth its increase or vigor of sensation Must I sit down in so low a measure while I am drawing nearer to the things believed and am almost there where belief must pass into sight and love or must I take up with the passive silence and inactivity which some Fryars persuade us is nearer to Perfection and under pretence of Annihilation and Receptivity let my fluggish Heart alone and say that in this neglect I wait for thy Operations O let not a Soul that is driven from this World and weary of Vanity and can think of little else but immortality that seeks and crys both Night and Day for the heavenly Light and fain would have some foretast of Glory and some more of the first Fruits of the promised joys let not such a Soul either long or cry or strive in vain Punish not my former grieving of thy Spirit by deserting a Soul that cryeth for thy Grace so near its great and unconceivable change Let me not languish in vain desires at the Door of Hope nor pass with doubtful Thoughts and Fears from this Vale of Misery Which should be the Season of Triumphant Faith and Hope and Joy if not when I am entering on the World of Joy O thou that hast left us so many consolatory words of Promise that our joy may be full send O send the promised Comforter without whose approaches and heavenly Beams when all is said and a thousand Thoughts and strivings have been assayed it will still be Night and Winter with the Soul § 19. But have I not expected more particular and more sensitive Conceptions of Heaven and the State of blessed Souls than I should have done and â—emained less satisfied because I expected such distinct Perceptions to my satisfaction which God doth not ordinarily give to Souls in Flesh I fear it hath been too much so A distrust of God and a distrustful desire to know much Good and Evil for our selves as necessary to our quiet and satisfaction was that sin which hath deeply corrupted Man's Nature and is more of our common pravity than is commonly observed I find that this Distrust of God and my Redeemer hath had too great a hand in my desires of a distincter and more sensible Knowledg I know that I should implicitely and absolutely and quietly trust my Soul into my Redeemers Hands of which I must speak more anon And it is not only for the Body but also for the Soul that a distrustful care is our great sin and Misery But yet we must desire that our Knowledge and Belief may be as distinct and particular as God's Revelations are and we can Love no further than we know and the more we know of God and Glory the more we shall love desire and trust him It is a known and not meerly an unknown God and happiness that the Soul doth joyfully desire And if I may not be ambitious of too sensible and distinct Perceptions here of the things unseen yet must I desire and beg the most fervent and sensible Love to them that I am capable of I am willing in part to take up with that unavoidable ignorance and that low degree of such Knowledge which God confineth us to in the Flesh so be it he will give me but such Consolatory foretasts in Love and Joy which such a General imperfect Knowledge may consist with that my Soul may not pass with distrust and terrour but with suitable triumphant Hopes to the Everlasting pleasures O Father of Lights who givest Wisdom to them that ask it of thee shut not up this sinful Soul in darkness Leave me not to grope in unsatisfied doubts at the Door of the Celestial Light Or if my Knowledg must be General let it be clear and powerful and deny me not now the lively exercise of FAITH HOPE and LOVE which are the stirrings of the New Creature and the dawnings of the everlasting Light and the Earnest of the promised Inheritance § 20. But we are oft ready to say with Cicero when he had been reading such as Plato that while the Book is in our Hands we seem confident of our Immortality and when we lay it by our doubts return so our Arguments seem clear and cogent and yet when we think not of them with the best advantage we are oft surprized with Fear lest we should be mistaken and our Hopes be vain and hereupon and from the common fear of Death that even good men too often manifest the Infidels gather that we do but force our Selves into such a Hope as we desire to be true against the tendency of mans Nature and that we were not made for a better World § 21. But this fallacy ariseth from mens not distinguishing 1. sensitive fears from Rational uncertainty or doubts 2. And the mind that is in the darkness of unbelief from that which hath the Light of Faith I find in my self too much of fear when I look into Eternity interrupting and weakening my Desires and Joy But I find that it is very much an irrational sensitive Fear which the Darkness of Man's mind the Greatness of the Change the dreadful Majesty of God and Man's Natural aversness to die do in some degree necessitate even when Reason is fully satisfied that such fears are consistent with certain safety If I were bound with the strongest Chains or stood on the surest Battlements on the top of a Castle or Steeple I could not possibly look down without fear and such as would go near to overcome me and yet I should be rationally sure that I am there fast and safe and cannot fall So is it with our Prospect into the Life to come Fear is oft a necessitated Passion When a Man is certain of his safe Foundation it will violently rob him of the comfort of that Certainty Yea it is a passion that irrationally doth much to corrupt our Reason it self and would make us doubt because we fear though we know not why And a fearful Man doth hardly trust his own apprehensions of his safety but among other Fears is still ready to fear lest he be deceived Like timorous Melancholy Persons about their Bodies who are ready still to think that every little Distemper is a mortal Symptom and that worse is still near them than they feel and they hardly believe any words of hope § 22. And Satan knowing the power of these passions and having easier access to the Sensitive than to the Intellective Faculties doth labour to get in at this back Door and to frighten poor Souls into doubts and unbelief and in timorous Natures he doth it with too great success as to the Consolatory acts of Faith Though yet God's Mercy is wonderfully seen in preserving many
cryed up and his Party praised as the chiefest Saints But all that tendeth to the praise of those that he dissenteth from and accounteth adversaries to the Truth is distastful to him as a complying with iniquity and a strengthning of the Enemies of Christ And all that uncharitableness which he expecteth from us against others is as much expected by others as against him and such as he This Day while I am writing these words my Pockets are too full of Letters sent me on one side importunately charging it on me as my duty to conform to the Oaths Declarations Covenants and Practises now imposed or else to give over preaching which would please them and on the other side vehemently censuring me as guilty of grievous sin for declaring my judgment for so much of Conformity as I have done and charging me by Predictions as guilty of the Sufferings of all that are otherwise minded for communicating in the Sacrament and the common Prayers of the Church and others in the mid way persuading me equally to bear my Testimony against unjust Separation and Persecution and to endeavour still if possible to save a self destroying People from the tearing fury of these two extreams And how should I answer these contrary expectations or escape the Censures of such expectants And it hath pleased God who Thirty Years and more hath tryed me by humane Applause of late in this City where multitudes of Persons of contrary Minds are like Passengers in crowded Streets still jostling and offending one another to exercise me with mens daily backbitings and cavils And so many have chosen me for the subject of their Discourse that I may say as Paul 1 Cor. 4. 9 10 c. We are made a Spectacle or Theatre to the World and to Angels and to men We are Fools for Christs sake but ye are wise in Christ c. Did I not live out of the noise in retirement and taken up with pain and expectations of my change what an annoyance to me would it be to hear Religious Persons that have a God a Christ a Heaven to talk of to abuse their Time and Tongues in so much talking of one so inconsiderable and that hath so little to do with them or they with him while with some overvaluing me and others still quarrelling I am the matter of their idle sinful talk The Persecutors for divers Years after first silencing if not still and the Separatists for two or three Years last past have been possessed with so strange a jealousie and quarrelsom a disposition against me that they seem to take it for their Interest to promote my defamation and for much of their work to search what may afford them any matter of accusation in every Sermon that I preach and every Book that I write And though the fury of the Persecutors be such as maketh them much uncapable of such converse and sober consideration as is needful to their true information and satisfaction yet most of the more Religious Cavillers are satisfied as soon as I have spoken with them and all endeth in a putarem or non putarem For want of accurateness and patience they judge rashly before they understand and when they understand confess their errour and yet many go on and take no warning after many times conviction of their mistake Even in Books that are still before their Eyes as well as in transient words in Sermons they heedlesly leave out or put in or alter and misreport plain words and with confidence affirm those things to have been said that never were said but perhaps the contrary And when all People will judg of the good or evil of our words as they think we have Reason to use them or forbear them how can we satisfie men that are out of our hearing and to whom we cannot tell our Reasons Most men are of private narrow observation judge of the good or hurt that our words do by those that they themselves converse with And when I convince them that my decisions of many questions which they are offended at are true they say It is an unseasonable and a hurtful truth and when I have called them to look further abroad in the World and told them my Reasons they say Had these been all set down men would have been satisfied And on how hard terms do we instruct such Persons whose narrow understandings cannot know obvious Reasons of what we say till they are particularly told them And so to tell men the Reasons of all that such can quarrel with will make every Book to swell with Commentaries to such a bigness as they can neither buy nor read And they come not to us to know our Reasons nor have we leisure to open them to every single Person And thus suspicious men when their understandings want the humbling acquaintance with their ignorance and their Consciences that tenderness which should restrain them from rash judging go on to accuse such needful Truths of which they know not the use and reason And what Man living hath the leisure and opportunity to acquaint all the ignorant Persons in City and Countrey with all the Reasons of all that he shall say write or do Or who that writeth not a Page instead of a Sentence can so write that every unprepared Reader shall understand him And what hopes hath that Tutor or School-master of preserving his reputation who shall be accounted erroneous and accused of unsound or injurious Doctrine by every Schollar that understandeth not his words and all the reasons of them But God in great Mercy to me hath made this my Lot not causing but permitting the sins of the contentious that I might before death be better weaned from all below Had my temptations from inordinate Applause had no allay they might have been more dangerously strong Even yet while Church-Dividers on both extreams do make me the Object of their daily obloquy the continued respects of the sober and peaceable are so great as to be a temptation strong enough to so weak a Person to give a check to my desires to leave the World It is long since Riches and worldly Honour appeared to me as they are as not rendring the World much lovely or desireable But the Love and Concord of Religious Persons hath a more amiable Aspect There is so much Holiness in these that I was loth to call them Vanity and Vexation But yet as Flesh and Blood would refer them to selfish Ends and any way value them as a Carnal interest I must so call them and number them with the things that are Loss and Dung Phil. 3. 7 8. Selfishness can serve itself upon things good and holy And if good men and good Books and good Sermons would make the World seem overlovely to us it will be a Mercy of God to abate the temptation And if my Soul looking toward the heavenly Jerusalem be hindred as Paul was in his Journey to Jerusalem Act. 20. 21. by
not when I die The Church dieth not The Praises of God die not the World dieth not And perhaps it shall grow better and those Prayers shall be answered which seemed lost Yea it may be some of the Seed that I have sowen shall spring up to some benefit of the dark unpeaceable World when I am dead And is not this much of the end of life is not that Life good which attaineth its End If my End was to do Good and Glorifie God if Good be done and God be Glorified when I am dead yea though I were annihilated is not my End attained Feign not thy self to be God whose Interest that is the pleasing of his Will is the End of all things And whose will is the measure of all Created good Feign not thy self to be All the World God hath not lost his work the World is not dissolved when I am dissolved O how strong and unreasonable a Disease is this inordinate SELFISHNESS Is not God's Will Infinitely better than mine And fitter to be fulfilled Choose the fulfilling of his Will and thou shalt always have thy choice If a Man be well that can always have his will let this always be thy Will that God's Will may be done and thou shalt always have it Lord let thy Servant Depart in Peace even in Thy Peace which passeth understanding and which Christ the Prince of Peace doth give and nothing in the World can take away O give me that Peace which beseemeth a Soul which is so near the Harbour even the World of endless PEACE and LOVE where perfect UNION such as I am capable of will free me from all the sins and troubles which are caused by the convulsions divulsions and confusions of this divided SELFISH World Call home this Soul by the encouraging Voice of Love that it may joyfully hear and say It is my Fathers Voice Invite it to thee by the heavenly Messenger Attract it by the tokens and the foretasts of Love The Messengers that invited me to the Feast of Grace compelled me to come in without constraint Thy effectual call did make me willing And is not Glory better than preparing Grace Shall I not come more willingly to the Celestial Feast What was thy Grace for but to make me willing of Glory and the way to it Why didst thou dart down thy Beams of Love but to make me Love thee and to call me up to the everlasting Center Was not the Feast of of Grace as a Sacrament of the Feast of Glory Did I not take it in remembrance of my Lord until he come Did not he that told me All things are ready tell me also that He is gone to prepare a place for us and it is his will that we shall be with him and see his Glory They that are Given him and Drawn to him by the Father on Earth do come to Christ Give now and Draw my Departing Soul to my Glorified Head And as I have Glorified thee on Earth in the measure that thy Grace hath prevailed in me pardon the sins by which I have offended thee and Glorifie me in the beholding and participation of the Glory of my Redeemer come Lord Jesus come quickly with fuller Life and Light and Love into this too Dead and Dark and Disaffected Soul that it may come with joyful willingness unto thee § 13. Willingly Depart O lingring Soul It is from a Sodom though in it there be righteous Lots who yet are not without their woful blemishes Hast thou so oft groaned for the general blindness and wickedness of the World and art thou loth to leave it for a better How oft wouldst thou have rejoyced to have seen but the dawning of a Day of Universal Peace and Reformation And wouldst thou not see it where it shineth forth in fullest Glory Would a light at Midnight have pleased thee so well Hast thou prayed and laboured for it so hard And would thou not see the Sun Will the things of Heaven please thee no where but on Earth where they come in the least and weakest influences and are terminated in gross terrene obscure and unkind recipients Away away the vindictive Flames are ready to consume this sinful World Sinners that blindly rage in sin must quickly rage in the effects of sin and of God's Justice The pangs of Lust prepared for these pangs They are treasuring up wrath against this Day Look not then behind thee Away from this unhappy World Press on unto the Mark Phil. 3. Looking towards and hastning to the coming of the Day of God 2 Pet. 3. 10 11 12. As this World hath used thee it would use thee still and it will use others If thou hast sped well in it no thanks to it but unto God! If thou hast had manifold deliverances and marvellous preservations and hast been sed with Angels food love not this Wilderness for it but God and his Angel which was thy Guide Protector and Deliverer And hath this troublesome Flesh been so comfortable a companion to thee that thou shouldst be so loth to leave it Have thy pains thy weariness thy languishings thy labours thy cares and fears about this Body been pleasing to thee And art thou loth that they should have an end Didst thou not find a need of patience to undergo them And of greater Patience than mâ—â—r Nature gave thee And canst thou hope now for better when Nature faileth and that an aged consumed more diseased Body should be a pleasanter habitation to thee than it was heretofore If from thy youth up it hath been both a tempting and a troubling thing to thee surely though it be less tempting it will not be less troubling when it is falling to the Dust and above ground savoureth of the Grave Had things sensible been never so pleasant in thy youth and hadst thou glutted thy self in health with that sort of delight in Age thou art to say by Nature I have no pleasure in them Doth God in great Mercy make pain and feebleness the Harbingers of Death and wilt thou not understand their business Doth he mercifully before hand take away the pleasure of all fleshly things and worldly vanities that there may be nothing to relieve a departing Soul as the shell breaketh when the Bird is hatched and the Womb relaxed when the Infant must be Born and yet shall we stay when nothing holdeth us and still be loth to come away Wouldst thou dwell with thy beloved Body in the Grave where it will rot and stink in loathsome darkness If not why should it now in its painful languor seem to thee a more pleasant habitation than the glorious presence of thy Lord In the Grave it will be at rest and not tormented as now it is nor wish at Night O that it were Morning nor say at Morning when will it be Night And is this a dwelling fit for thy delight Patience in it while God will so try thee is thy duty But is such
secrets of the Almighty nor to pretend to know more of God than indeed I know but O that I might know more of his glorious Perfections of his Will and Love and Ways with that knowledge which is Eternal Life Blessed be that Love that sent the Son of God from Heaven to reveal him to us in the Gospel as he hath done But all that hear the same Words and Believe them have not the same degree of Light or Faith If an Angel from Heaven came down on Earth to tell us all of God that we would know and might lawfully desire and ask him who would not turn his Back on Libraries and Universities and the Learned men to go and discourse with such a Messenger What travel should I think too far What cost too great for one Hours talk with such a Messenger But we must have here but such intimations as will exercise Faith and excite desire and try us under the Temptations of the World and Flesh The glorious Light is the reward of the Victory obtained by the conduct of the Light of Grace God in great Mercy even here beginneth the reward They that are true to the initial Light and faithfully follow on to know the Lord do find usually such increase of Light not of vain Notions but of quickning and comforting knowledge of God as greatly encourageth them and draweth them still on to seek for more It is very pleasant here to increase in holy Knowledge though it usually bring an increase of malignant opposition and so of sorrows to the Flesh The pleasure that the mind hath in common knowledge brings men through a great deal of labour to attain it How many Years travel over Land and Sea do some men take to see and know more of this lower World Though it 's little that they bring home but more acquaintance with Sin and Vanity and Vexation How many more Years do Thousands spend in the reading of multitudes of tedious Volumes that they may know what others knew before them Printers and Booksellors live by our desire of Knowledge What Soul then on Earth can possibly conceive how great a pleasure it will be for a glorified Soul to see the Lord Though I cannot now conceive what that intuition of God himself will be and whether it will not be a glorious kind of concluding or abstractive knolwedge whether the Glory which we shall see be only a created appearance of God or be his very Essence it satisfieth me that it will be as perfect a knowledge as is fit for me to desire and I shall then desire no more than is fit And what it is I shall then know by itself for it is not otherwise to be clearly known And all the pleasure that I shall have in Heaven in knowing any of the works of God will be in my beholding God himself his Being his Vital power and action his Wisdom and his Love and Goodness in those works For he is the Life and Glory of them all Blessed are the pure in Heart for they shall see God II. And doubtless it will be no small part of my delight to see and know God's perfect works I mean the Universe itself I cannot say that I shall have so large a Capacity as to comprehend all the World or know it perfectly and with an adequate knowledge But I shall know it in such Perfection as is suitable to my capacity It is exceeding pleasant to know the least Particles of the works of God With what diligence and delight have men endeavoured to Anatomize a Body yea a small part of a Carkass and to know and describe poor Worms and Insects Plants and Minerals And no Man ever yet perfectly knew the least of them all no Herbalist or Physician ever yet knew the Nature and uses of any one Herb with an adequate knowledge With what delight and diligence are Physical searches carryed on in the World though still we are all but groaping in the dark and ignorant of many things for one that we know and therefore know no one perfectly because we are ignorant of rest But if indeed we were above our dreaming erroneous Hypotheses and saw the Nature of every Creature even in Sea and Land this little Spot of God's Creation and the compages of all Oh what a delightful Spectacle would it be How much more to see the whole Creation yea or one Vortex or Systeme of the Globes and to know their union and communion and to behold their beauteous Symmetry and hear them in concord and melodious Harmony praising the the Glory of their Great Wise Amiable Creator this were a delectable sight indeed I shall have as much of this as I shall be capable of And the wonders and glory of the Works of God shall wrap up my Soul in admiring joyful praise for ever And though here it be but little of God's Works that we know I have great reason to think that it will be far otherwise there 1. Because the state of Perfection must far excel our dark and infant state of imperfection We have now desires after such a knowledge His Works are great sought out of them that have pleasure therein And these desires being of God shall not be frustrate 2. Because there will be a proportionableness of the parts of our Perfection and therefore as our Love to God and his works will be there perfected so will be our knowledge 3. Because we shall know God himself as much as we are capable and therefore we shall know his works in him or by a subordinate knowledge the less being in the greater 4. Because God hath made his works to be known to his glory But it is little that is here known of them by Mortals therefore they are known by them in Heaven who are fitted to improve that knowledge to his praise If Christ who is the wisdom of God will teach me the true Philosophy how to love God and live here in all well pleasing unto him I shall quickly in Heaven be a perfect Philosopher and experience will tell me that the surest way to be truly Learned and know the wonderful works of God was to know love and serve the Great Creator and in Him we shall have all and without him we know nothing and have nothing at all Satan tempted Christ by shewing him the Kingdoms and glory of the World and promising them all to him if he would have worshipped him But God will shew me more than Satan could shew and give me more of that which is best than Satan could give III. And that in Heaven I shall better know Jesus Christ and all the Mystery of our Redemption by him will not be the least of my felicity For in him are hid all the Treasures of Wisdom And to know the Mystery of his Eternal Godhead in the second Person and his created Nature and the Union of these and to see God's wonderful design and work of grace in him laid open
entrance of the Inheritance of Saints And yet alas Darkness Darkness is still my misery There is Light round about me in thy word and works but darkness is within me And if my Eye be dark the Sun will be no Sun to me Alas my Lord it is noâ— all the Learning in the World no not of Theology that consisteth in the knowledge of Words and Methods which I can take for the satisfactory heavenly Light To know what thou hast written in the Sacred Book is nor enough to make me know my glorified Saviour my Father and my home It must be a Light from Heaven that must shew me Heaven and a Light accompanied with Vital heat that must turn to Love and Joy within me O Let me not have only dreaming knowledge of Words and Signs but quickning Light to shew the Things which these words do signifie to my Mâ—nd and Heart Surely the Faith By which we must live must be a lâ—ving Faith And must reach further than to Words how true soever Can Faith live in the Dark What is it but an effect of thine Illumination What is my Unbelief but the Darkness of my Soul Lord Iesus scatter all these mists Make thy way O thou Son of Righteousness into this benighred mind O send thine Advocate to silence every temptation that is against thy truth and thee and thine Agent to prosecute thy cause against thine Enemies and mine and to be the resident Witness of thy Verity and my Sonship and Salvation Hearing of thee is not satisfactory to me It must be the Presence and Operation of thy Light and Love shed abroad by thy Spirit on my Heart that must quiet and content my Soul I confess with shame that I have sinned against Heaven and before thee and am unworthy to have any glimpse or taste of Heaven But so did many that are now entertained and feasted by thy Love in Glory My Lord I know that Heaven is not far from me It is not I believe one Days or Hours journey to a separated Soul How quick is the communion of my Eyes with the Sun that seems far off And couldst thou not shew it me in a moment Is not Faith a seeing Grace It can see the invisible God and the unseen World the new Jerusalem the innumerable Angels and the Spirits of the perfected Just if it be animated by thine influx Without which it can do nothing and is nothing Thou that oft healedst the Blind here in the Flesh didst tell us that it is much more thy work to illuminate Souls It is but forgiving all my sins and removing this film that sin hath gathered and my illuminated Soul will see thy Glory I know that the vail of Flesh must be also rent before I shall see thee with open Face and know my fellow Citizens above as I am known It is not Heaven on Earth that I am begging for But that I may see it from Mount Nebo and have the bunch of Grapes the Pledge and the first Fruits that Faith and Hope which may kindle Love and Desire and make me run my Race in Patience and live and die in the Joy which beseemeth an Heir of Heaven But if my part on Earth must be no greater than yet it is let it make me the wearier of this Dungeon and groan more fervently to be with thee and long for the day when all my longing shall be satisfied and my Soul be filled with thy light and love § 24. And doubtless as I shall love the Angels and Saints in Heaven so I shall some way in subordination to Christ be a Receiver from them Our love will be mutual And which way soever I owe duty I shall expect some answerable return of benefit The Sun shineth upon the Stars as well as on the Earth and the Stars on one another If Angels are greatly useful to me here it 's like they will be much more there where I shall be a more capable receiver It will be no diminution to Christ's honour that he there maketh use of my fellow Creatures to my joy no more than it is here The whole Creation will be still one compaginated frame and the heavenly Society will for ever retain their Relation to each other and their aptitude and disposition to the duties and benefits of those Relations And as we shall be far sitter for them than here we are so shall we have far more comfort in them How gloriously will God shine in the glory of the Blessed How delightful will it be to see their Perfection in Wisdom Holiness Love and Concord What Voices they use or what Communication instead of Voices we shall shortly know But surely there is a blessed harmony of Minds and Wills and Practice All are not equal but all accord to love and praise their glorious God and readily to obey him and perfectly to love each other There is no jarring or discordant Spirit that is out of tune no separation or opposition to each other As God's love in Christ is our full and final happiness so Nature which hath made us sociable teacheth us to desire to be loved of each other but especially by wise and worthy Persons Saints and Angels in Heaven will love incomparably better than our dearest Friends on Earth can do and better than they did themselves when we were on Earth For they will love that best which is best and where there is most of God appearing Else it were not intellectual love And therefore they will love us as much better when we come to Heaven as we shall be better If we go from loving friends on Earth we shall go to them that love us far more The love of these here doth but pitty us in our pains and go weeping with our Carkasses to the Grave But the love of those above will joyfully convoy or welcome out Souls to their triumphing Society All the holy Friends that we thought we had lost that went before us we shall find rejoicing there with Christ And O what a glorious state will be that common uniting and united love If two or three Candles joined together make a greater flame and light what would Ten thousand Stars united do When all the LOVE of Angels and Saints in full Perfection shall be so united as to make ONE LOVE to God that is One and to one another who are there all one in Christ O what a glorious LOVE will that be That LOVE and JOY will be the same thing And that One universal LOVE will be One universal JOY Little know we how great a Mercy it is to be here commanded to love our Neighbours as our selves and much more to be effectually taught of God so to love one another And did we all here live in such unfeigned Love we should be like to Heaven as bearing the Image of the God of Love But alas our Societies here are small our Goodness which is our Amiableness wofully imperfect and mixt with loathsom
and to enter the Holy Celestial Society should be no more joyfully affected with these hopes And that I should make any great matter of the pain and langishing and perishing of the Flesh when it is the common way to such an end O hateful sin that hath so darkned and corrupted Souls as to estrange and undispose them to the only state of their hoped happiness Alas what did Man when he forsook the Love and Obedience of his God How just it is that this Flesh and World should become our Prison which we would make our home and would not use as our Lord appointed us as our Servant and way to our better state Though our way must not be our home our Father would not have been so strange to us in the way if we had not unthankfully turned away from his Grace and Love § 9. It is to us that know not the Mysteries of Infinite Wisdom the saddest thought that ever doth possess our Minds to consider that there is no more Grace and Holiness knowledge of God and communion with him in this World That so few are Saints and those few so lamentably defective and imperfect That when the Sun shineth on all the Earth the Sun of Righteousness shineth on so small a part of it and so few live in the Love of God and the joyful hopes of future Blessedness and those few have so low a measure of it and are corrupted and troubled with so many contrary affections Infinite goodness is not undisposed to do good He that made us capable of Holy and Heavenly affections gave us not that Capacity in vain And yet alas how little of God and Glory taketh up the Hearts of men But Man hath no cause to grudge at God! The Devils before their fall were not made indefectible Divine Wisdom is delighted in the diversity of his Works and maketh them not all of equal excellency Free will was to act its part Hell is not to be as good as Heaven And sin hath made Earth to be next to Hell So much Sin so much Hell What is sin but a willful forsaking of God And can we forsake him and yet love him and enjoy his love God's Kingdom is not to be judged of by his Jail or Gibbets We willfully forsook the Light and made the World a Dungeon to our selves And when recovering Light doth shine unto us how unthankfully do we usually entertain it We cannot have the conduct and comfort of it while we shut our Eyes and turn away And what though God give not to all men an overcoming measure nor to the best so much as they desire The Earth is but a spot or point of God's Creation not so much as an Ant hillock to a Kingdom or perhaps to all the Earth And who is scandalized because the World hath an heap of Ants in it yea or a Nest of Snakes that are not men The vast unmeasurable Worlds of Light which be above us are possessed by Inhabitants suitable to their Glory A Casement or Crevise of Light or a Candle in this darksom World is an unspeakable Mercy yea that we may but hear of a better World and may seek it in Hope we must not grudge that in our Prison we have not that presence of our King and pleasures of the Kingdom as innocent and free Subjects have hope of Pardon of a speedy deliverance are great Mercies to Malefactors § 10. And if my want of the Knowledge and Love of God and joyful communion with the heavenly Society by my Prison and as the Suburbs of Hell should it not make me long for the Day of my Redemption and the glorious liberty of the Sons of God My true desires of deliverance and of Holiness and Perfection are my Evidences that I shall obtain them As the Will is the Sinner so it is the obstinate continuance of a Will to sin which is the bondage and the cause of continued sin And a continued Hell is continued sin as to the first part at least Therefore they that continue in Hell do continue in a sinning Will and so continue in a Love and willingness of so much of Hell So far as God maketh us willing to be delivered from sin so far we are delivered And our initial imperfect deliverance is the way to more If pains then make me groan for ease and sickness make me wish for Health why should not my remnants of Ignorance Unbelief and Strangeness to God occasion me to long for the Day of my Salvation This is the greatest of all my troubles And should it not then be the greatest wearying burden from which I should earnestly desire to be eased As Grace never doth hurt efficiently and yet may be ill used and do hurt objectively as to them that are proud of it so sin never doth good efficiently and of itself and yet objectively may do good For sin may be the Object of Grace and so to use it is not sin My unbelief and darkness and disaffection and inordinate love of this life do of themselves most hinder my desires of deliverance and of a better life but objectively what more fit to make me a weary of such a grievous state Were my unbelief and earthly mind predominant they would chain my affections to this World or if I were constrainedly weary of a miserable life I should have no comfortable hopes of a better But as it is the Nature of my sin to draw down my Heart from God and Glory it is the nature of my Faith and Hope and Love to carry it upward and to desire the heavenly Perfection Not to love Death but to love that which is beyond it And have I been so many years in the School of Christ learning both how to live and die begging and studying for this Grace and exercising it against this sinful Flesh and shall I now after all find Flesh more powerful to draw me downward than Faith Hope and Love to carry my desires up to God! § 11. O God forbid O thou that freely gavest me thy Grace maintain it to the last against its Enemies and make it finally victorious It came from thee it hath been preserved by thee it is on thy side and wholly for thee O let it not now fail and be conquered by blind and base Carnality or by the temptations of a hellish conquered Enemy without it I had lived as a Beast and without it I should die more miserably than a Beast It is thine Image which thou lovest it is a Divine Nature and heavenly Beam what will a Soul be without it but a Dungeon of Darkness a Devil for malignity and dead to Holiness and Heaven without it who shall plead thy Cause against the Devil World and Flesh without thy Glory Earth is but Earth without thy Natural Efficacy it would be nothing without thy wise and potent Ordination it would be but a Chaos and without thy Grace it would be a Hell O rather deny
shew us whither we must ascend and that after these comfortable words SAY TO MY BRETHREN I ASCEND TO MY FATHER AND YOUR FATHER TO MY GOD AND YOUR GOD Joh. 20. 17. And shall I not follow him through Death and trust such a Guide and Captain of my Salvation 14. He is there to prepare a place for me and will take me to himself And may I not confidently expect it 15. He told a Malefactor on the Cross that he should that day be with him in Paradise to tell believing Sinners what they may expect 16. The Church by the Article of his Descent into Hell hath signified their common belief that his separated Soul had its subsistence and operation and did not sleep or perish to tell us the Immortality of separated Souls 17. His Apostles and other Servants have on earth served him all with these expectations 18. The Spirits of the perfected Just are now in possession of what I hope for And I am a follower of them who by Faith and Patience have attained the promised Felicity And may I not trust him to save me who hath already saved Millions in this way When I could trust a Ferriman to pass me over a River that had safely passed over Thousands before me Or I could trust a Physician who cureth all that he undertaketh of the same Disease 19. I must be at his disposal whether I will or not I shall live while he will and die when he will and go whither he will I may sin and vex my Soul with fears and cares and sorrows but I shall never prevail against his will 20. Therefore there is no Rest for Souls but in the Will of God That will created us and that will did govern us and that will shall be fulfilled on us It was our Efficient and our Regent Cause and it shall be our End Where else is it that we should rest In the will of men or Angels or in our own wills All Creatures are but Creatures And our own Wills have undone us They have misgoverned us and they are our greatest Enemies our Disease our Prison and our Death till they are brought over to the will of God Till then they are like a Foot out of joint like a Child or Subject in Rebellion There is no rectitude or health no order no peace or true felicity but in the Conformity of our wills to the will of God And shall I die in distrustful striving against his will and desiring to keep up my own before it 21. What abundant experience have I had of God's fidelity and love and after all this shall I not trust him His undeserved Mercy gave me being it chose my Parents it gave them a tender love to me and desire of my good it taught them to instruct me early in his Word and to Educate me in his fear It chose me suitable Company and Habitation It gave me betimes a teachable ingeny It chose my School-masters It brought to my Hands many excellent and suitable Books It gave me some profitable publick Teachers It placed me in the best of Lands on Earth and I think in the best of Ages which that Land had seen It did early destroy all great expectations and desires of the World teaching me to bear the Yoak from my youth and causing me rather to groan under my infirmities than to fight with strong and potent Lusts It chastened me betimes but did not destroy me Great Mercy hath trained me up all my daies since I was Nineteen years of Age in the School of Affliction to keep my sluggish Soul awake in the constant expectations of my change and to kill my Pride and overvaluing of this World and to lead all my studies to the most necessary things and as a Spur to excite my Soul to seriousness and especially to save me from the supine neglect and loss of time O what unspeakable Mercy hath a life of constant but gentle Chastisement proved to me It urged me against all dull delays to make my Calling and Election sure and to make ready my accounts as one that must quickly give them up to God The Face of Death and nearness of Eternity did much convince me what Books to read what studies to perfer and prosecute what Company and Conversation to choose It drove me early into the Vineyard of the Lord and taught me to preach as a dying Man to dying men It was Divine Love and Mercy which made Sacred Truth so pleasant to me that my life hath been under all my infirmities almost a constant recreation and delight in its discoveries contemplation and practical use How happy a Teacher have I had What excellent help and sweet illumination How far beyond my expectation hath Divine Mercy encouraged me in his Sacred work How congruously did he choose every place of my Ministration and Habitation to this day without my own forecast or seeking When and where since he first sent me forth did I labour in vain How many are gone to Heaven and how many are in the way to whom he hath blessed the Word which in weakness I did by his Grace and Providence deliver Many good Christians are glad of now and then an Hours time to meditate on God's Word and recreate themselves in his holy worship but God hath allowed and called me to make it the constant business of my life My Library hath afforded me both profitable and pleasant company and help at all times when ever I would use them I have dwelt among the shining Lights which the Learned Wise and Holy men of all Ages have set up and left to illuminate the World How many comfortable Hours have I had in the Society of living Saints and in the love of faithful Friends How many joyful Daies have I had in the solemn Assemblies where God hath been worshipped with seriousness and alacrity by concordant though imperfect Saints Where the Spirit of Christ hath manifested his presence by helping my self and my Brethren in speaking and the People in ready delightful hearing and all of us in loving and gladly receiving his Doctrine Covenant and Laws How unworthy was such a sinful Worm as I who never had any Academical helps nor much from the Mouth of any Teacher that Books should become so great a Blessing to me and that quite beyond my own intentions God should induce or constrain me to provide any such like helps for others How unworthy was I to be kept from the multiplied snares of Sects and Errours which reigned in this Age and to be used as a means for other mens preservation and reduction And to be kept in a love of Unity and Peace How unworthy was I that God should make known to me so much of his reconciling truth while extreams did round about prevail and were commended to the Churches by the advantages of Piety on one side and of worldly Prosperity and Power on the other And the God should use me above thirty Years
in so comfortable a work as to plead and write for Love Peace and Concord and to vouchsafe me so much success therein as he hath done notwithstanding the general prevalency of the contentious military Tribe Mercy I have had in Peace and Liberty in times of Violence And Mercy I have had in Wars living two years in safety in a City of defence in the very midst of the Land Coventry and seeing no enemy while the Kingdom was in Wars and Flames and only hearing of the common Calamities round about And when I went abroad and saw the effects of humane folly and fury and of God's displeasure he mercifully kept me from hurting any one and being hurt by any How many a time hath he preserved me by Day and Night in difficulties and dangers from the Malice of Satan and from the Wrath of Man and from accidents which threatned sudden Death While I beheld the ruines of Towns and Countreys and the Fields covered with the Carkasses of the slain I was preserved and returned home in Peace And O how great was the mercy which he shewed me in a teachable tractable peaceable humble unanimous People So many in number and so exemplary in quality who to this Day keep their Integrity and Concord when violence hath separated me from them Twenty two years Yea the like Mercy of acceptance and success beyond my expectation he hath shewed me every where I have had opportunity of free ministration even where there were many Adversaries I have had an open Door in the midst of humane Wrath and Rage he hath preserved my Liberty beyond expectation and continued my acceptance and success When I might not speak by Voice to any single Congregation he enabled me to speak by Writings to many and for the success of my plainest popular writings which cost me least I can never be sufficiently thankful Some of which he sent to preach abroad in other Languages in forreign Lands When my Mouth with Eighteen hundred or Two thousands more had been many years stopped he hath since opened them in some degree and the sufferings intended us by men have been partly put by and partly much alleviated by his Providence and the hardness of our Terms hath not so much hindâ—ed the success of faithful Labours as we feared and as others hoped it would have done I have had the comfort of seeing some Peace and Concord and Prosperity of Truth and Piety kept up under the utmost opposition of diabolical and humane Power Policy and Wrath When I have been sent to the common Jail for my service and obedience to him he hath there kept me in peace and soon delivered me He hath made the Mouths of my greatest Enemies who have studied my defamation and my ruine to become my Witnesses and Compurgators and to cross their own designs How wonderful is it that I should so long dwell in so much peace in the midst of those that seemed to want neither Power nor Skill and much less Will to tread me down into contempt and misery And O how many a danger fear and pain hath he delivered this frail and languishing Body from How oft hath he succoured me when Flesh and Heart and Art have failed He hath cured my consuming Coughs and many a time stayed my flowing Blood he hath eased my pained Limbs and support'd a weary macerat'd Skeleton He hath fetcht me up from the Jaws of Death and reversed the Sentence which men have passed on me How many Thousand weary days have been sweetned with his pleasant work And how many Thousand painful weary Nights have had a comfortable Morning How many Thousand strong and healthful Persons have been taken away by Death whilst I have been upheld under all this weakness Many a time have I cryed to the Lord in my trouble and he hath delivered me out of my distress I have had Forty years added to my Daies since I would have been full glad of Hezekiah's promise of Fifteen Since the day that I first preached his Gospel I expected not of long time to live above a Year and I have lived since then Forty years when my own Prayers were cold and unbelieving how many Hundreds have prayed for me And what strange deliverances encouraging Fasting and Prayer have I oft had upon their importunate requests My Friends have been faithful and the few that proved unfaithful have profitably taught me to place no confidence in Man and and not to be inordinately affected to any thing on Earth for I was forsaken by none of them but those few that I excessively valued and overloved My Relations have been comfortable to me contrary to my deserts and much beyond my expectations My Servants have been faithful My Neighbours have been kind My Enemies have been impotent harmless or profitable My Superiours have honoured me by their respectful words and while they have afflicted me as supposing me a remora to their designs they have not destroyed but protected me To my inferiours God hath made me in my low capacity somwhat helpful I have been protected in ordinary health and safety when the raging Pestilence came near my Habitation and consumed an Hundred thousand Citizens My dwelling hath been safe when I have seen the glory of the Land in flames and after beheld the dismal ruines When violence separated me from my too much beloved Library and drove me into a poor and smoaky House I never had more help of God nor did more difficult work than there What pleasant retirements and quietness in the Countrey have been the fruits of persecuting Wrath And I must not forget when I had more publick liberty how he saved me and all my Hearers even by a wonder from being buried in the ruines of the Fabrick where we were and others from the Calamitous Scandal and Lamentations which would else have followed And it is not a Mercy to be extenuated that when the Tongues and Pens of all Sects among us and of proâ—d self-exalters and of some worthy Pious differing Brethren have been long and vehemently bent against me when my infamy hath been endeavoured by abundance of Volumes by the backbiting of angry dividers of all sorts and by the calumniating accusations of some that were too high to be gain-said and would not endure me to answer them and vindicate my innocency yet all these together were never able to fasten their accusations and procure any common belief nor to bring me under the designed contempt much less to break my comforts encouragements or labours These all these and very many more than these are my Experiences of that wondrous MERCY which hath measured my Pilgrimage and filled up my daies Never did God break his Promise with me Never did he fail me nor forsake me Had I not provoked him by rash and wilful sinning how little Interruption of my peace and comforts had I ever been likely to have had And shall I now distrust him at the last Shall I not
they pretend to and profess are the ordinary case and course of the most of men And when we would plead them out of their deceit and misery it 's well if we are not tempted to imitate them or be not partly infected with their Disease or at least reproached and oppressed as their Enemies Such a Bedlam is most of the World become where madness goeth for the only Wisdom and he is the bravest Man that can sin and be damned with reputation and renown and successfully drive or draw the greatest number with him unto Hell To which the World hath no small likeness forsaking God and being very much forsaken by him This is the World which standeth in competition for my Love with the Spiritual blessed World Much of God's Mercies and Comforts I have here had But their sweetness was their taste of Divine Love and their tendency to heavenly Perfection What was the end and use of all the Good that ever I saw or that ever God did for my Soul or Body but to teach me to Love him and to long for more How many weaning experiences How many Thousand bitter or contemning Thoughts have I had of all the glory and pleasures of this World How many Thousand love tokens from God have called me to believe and taste his Goodness Where ever I go and which way soever I look I see VANITY and VEXATION written upon all things in this World so far as they stand in competition with God and would be the end and portion of a fleshly Mind And I see HOLINESS TO THE LORD written upon every thing so far as it declareth God and leadeth me to him as my ultimate end God hath not for nothing engaged me in a War against this World and commanded me to take and use it as mine Enemy The emptiness dangerousness and bitterness of the World and the All-sufficiency Trustiness and Goodness of God have been the Summ of all the experiences of my life And shall a worldly backward Heart overcome the teachings of Nature Scripture the Spirit of Grace and all Experience Far be it from me But O my God LOVE is thy great and special gift All Good is from thee But LOVE is the God-like Nature Life and Image It is given us from the Love of the Father the Grace of the Son and the quickning illuminating and sanctifying Operation of the Holy Spirit What can the Earth return unto the Sun but its own reflected Beams If those As how far soever Man is a Medium in Generation Nature and that Appetite which is the moving pondus in the Child is thy work so whatever is Man's part in the Mediate work of Believing and Repenting which yet is not done without thy Spirit and grace certainly it is the blessed Regenerator which must make us New Creatures by giving us this Divine Nature holy LOVE which is the holy Appetite and Pondus of the Soul Come down Lord into this Heart for it cannot come up to thee Can the Plants for Life or the Eye for Light go up unto the Sun Dwell in me by the Spirit of Love and I shall dwell by Love in Thee Reason is weak and Thoughts are various and Man will be a slippery uncertain Wight if LOVE be not his fixing Principle and do not incline his Soul to Thee Surely through thy Grace I easily feel that I love thy Word I love thy Image I love thy Work and O how heartily do I Love to Love thee And long to Know and Love thee more And if all things be of Thee and through Thee and to Thee surely this Love to the Beams of thy Glory here on Earth is eminently so It 's Thee Lord that it meaneth To Thee it looketh It 's Thee it serveth For Thee it mourns and seeks and groans In Thee it Trusteth And the Hope and Peace and Comfort which support me are in Thee When I was a returning Prodigal in rags thou sawest me afar off and mettest me with thy embracing feasting Love And shall I doubt whether he that hath better cloathed me and dwelt within me will entertain me with a Feast of greater love in the heavenly Mansions the World of Love The suitableness of things below to my fleshly Nature hath detained my affections too much on Earth And shall not the suitableness of things above to my Spiritual Nature much more draw up my Love to Heaven There is the GOD whom I have sought and served He is also here but vailed and but litâ—le known But there he shineth to heavenly Spirits in heavenly Glory There is the Saviour in whom I have believed He hath also dwelt in Flesh on Earth Bâ—t cloathed in such meanness and humbled to such a Life and Death as was to the Jews a stumbling Block and to the Gentiles matter of reproach But he Shineth and Reigneth now in Glory above the malice and contempt of Sinners And I shall there Live because he liveth and in his Light I shall have Light He loved me here with a Redeeming Regenerating and preserving Love But there he will love me with a perfecting glorifying joyful Love I had here some Raies of heavenly Light But interpositions caused Eclipses and Nights yea some long and winter Nights But there I shall dwell in the City of the Sun the City of God the heavenly Jerusalem where there is no Night Eclipse or Darkness There are the heavenly Hosts whose holy Love and Joyful Praises I would fain be a partaker of I have here had some of their Loving assistance but to me unseen being above our fleshly way of Converse But there I shall be with them of the like Nature in the same Orb and of the same Triumphant Church and Chore There are perfected Souls gathered home to Christ Not as here striving like Esau and Jacob in the Womb not yet as John when he leaped in the Womb because of his Mothers joy nor as wrangling Children that are hardly kept in the same House in Peace Not like the Servants of Abraham and Lot like Paul and Barnabas like Epiphanius and Chrysostom like Luther and Carolostadius like Ridley and Hooper or the many striving Parties now among us nor like the Disciples striving who should be the greatest Not like Noah's Family in a wicked World or Lot in a wicked City or Abraham in an Idolatrous Land nor like Elijah left alone nor like those that wandred in Sheep Skins and Goat Skins destitute afflicted and tormented hid in Dens and Caves of the Earth not like Job on the Dunghil or like Lazarus at the rich Man's Doors Not like the African Bishops whose Tongues were cut out nor like the Preachers silenced by Papist imposers in German by the Intâ—rim or elsewhere Nor like such as Tzegedine Peucer and many other worthy men whose maturest Age was spent in Prisons Not as we poor bewildred Sinners feeling evil and fearing more confounded in folly and mad contention some hating the only way of Peace and
doubtingly whether thy heavenly Father and thy Lord doth love thee Canst thou forget the sealed Testimonies of it Did I not even now repeat so many as should shame thy doubts A multitude of thy Friends have loved thee so entirely that thou canst not doubt of it And did any of them signifie their love with the convincing evidence that God hath done Have they done for thee what he hath done Are they Love itself Is their love so full so firm and so unchangeable as his I think the sweetlier of Heaven because abundance of my ancient Lovely and Loving Holy Friends are there and am the willinger by Death to follow them And should I not think of it more pleasedly because my God and Father my Saviour and my Comforter is there And not alone but with all the Society of Love Was not Lazarus in the Bosom of God himself yet it is said that he was in Abraham's Bosom as the Promise runs that we shall sit down with Abraham Isaac and Jacob in the Kingdom of God And what maketh the Society of Saints so sweet as holy Love It is comfortable to read that To love the Lord our God with all our Heart and Soul and might is the First and great Commandment and the Second is like to it To Love our Neighbours as our selves For God's Commands proceed from that Will which is his Nature or Essence and they tend to the same as their Objective end Therefore he that hath made Love the Great Command doth tell us that LOVE is the Great conception of his own Essence the spring of that Command and that this commanded imperfect Love doth tend to perfect heavenly Love even to our communion with Essential Infinite Love It were strange that the Love and Goodness which is equal to the Power that made the World and the Wisdom that ordereth it should be scant and backward to do good and to be suspected more than the Love of Friends The remembrance of the holiness humility love and faithfulness of my dearest Friends of every Rank with whom I have conversed on Earth in every place where I have lived is so sweet to me that I am oft ready to recreate my self with the naming of such as are now with Christ But in Heaven they will love me better than they did on Earth and my love to them will be more pleasant But all these Sparks are little to the Sun Every place that I have lived in was a place of Divine Love which there set up its obliging Monuments Every Year and Hour of my life hath been a time of Love Every Friend and every Neigbour yea every Enemy have been the Messengers and Instruments of Love Every state and change of my life notwithstanding my sin hath opened to me Treasures and Mysteries of Love And after such a life of Love shall I doubt whether the same God do love me Is he the God of the Mountains and not of the Valleys Did he love me in my youth and health And doth he not love me in my Age and Pain and Sickness Did he love all the Faithful better in their life than at their Death If our hope be not chiefly in this life neither is our state of Love which is principally the heavenly endless Grace My groans grieve my Friends but abate not their love Did he love me for my strength my weakness might be my fear as they that love for Beauty loath them that are deformed and they that love for Riches despise the Poor But God loved me when I was his Enemy to make me a Friend and when I was bad to make me better What ever he taketh pleasure in is his own gift Who made me to differ And what have I that I have not received And God will finish the Work the Building the Warfare that is his own O the multitude of Mercies to my Soul and Body in Peace and War in Youth and Age to my self and friends the many great and gracious deliverances which have testified to me the Love of God! Have I lived in the experience of it and shall I die in the doubts of it Had it been Love only to my Body it would have died with me and not have accompanied my departing Soul I am not much in doubt of the truth of my Love to him Though I have not seen him save as in a Glass as in a Glass seen I love him I love my Brethren whom I have seen and those most that are most in Love with him I love his Word and Works and Ways and fain I would be nearer him and love him more and I loath my self for loving him no better And shall Peter say more confidently Thou knowest that I love thee than I know that thou lovest me Yes he may because though God's Love is greater and stedfaster than ours yet our knowledge of his great love is less than his knowledge of our little love and as we are defective in our own Love so are we in our certainty of its sincerity And without the knowledge of our Love to God we can never be sure of his special love to us But yet I am not utterly a stranger to my self I know for what I have lived and laboured in the World And who it is that I have desired to please The God whose I am and whom I serve hath loved me in my youth and he will love me in my aged weakness My Flesh and my Heart fail my pains seem grievous to the Flesh But it is LOVE that chooseth them that useth them for my good that moderateth them and will shortly end them Why then should I doubt of my Fathers Love Shall pain or dying make me doubt Did God love none from the beginning of the World but Henoch and Elias And what am I better than my fore-Fathers What is in me that I should expect exemption from the common lot of all Mankind Is not a competent time of great Mercy on Earth in order to the unseen felicity all that the best of men can hope for O for a clearer stronger Faith to shew me the World that more excelleth this than this excelleth the Womb where I was conceived Then should I not fear my third Birth day what pangs soever go before it nor be unwilling of my change The Grave indeed is a Bed that Nature doth abhor Yet there the weary be at rest But Souls new born have a double Nature that is Immortal and go to the place that is agreeable to their Nature even to the Region of Spirits and the Region of Holy Love Even passive Matter that hath no other Natural motion hath a Natural Inclination to uniting aggregative motion And God maketh all Natures suitable to their proper ends and use How can it be that a Spirit should not incline to be with Spirits And Souls that have the Divine Nature in holy Love desire to be with the God of Love Arts and Sciences and Tongues become not
that I understand and by willing that I will c. 2. I am sure by these Acts that I have the power or faculties to do them For none doth that which it cannot do 3. And I know that it is a substance that hath these powers For nothing can do nothing My Soul then being certainly an intellective Volitive Vital substance 1. I have no reason to think that God who annihilateth not the least Sand will annihilate so noble a substance 2. Nor that he will destroy those Powers which are its Essential form and turn it into some other thing 3. Nor that such Essential powers shall lie as dead unactive and so be continued in vain 4. There remaining therefore nothing uncertain to natural Reason but the continuance of Individuation to separate Souls 1. Apparitions and Wirches cases have put that out of doubt notwithstanding many Fables and Delusions 2. Christ hath put it more out of doubt 3. While substance faculties and acts continue it is the errour of our selfish state in Flesh which maketh any fear too near a Union which shall end our individuation The greatest Union will be the greatest Perfection and no loss to Souls XVII God's wonderful Providences for the Church and single Saints on Earth are such as tell us of that love and care which will bring them afterwards to him XVIII The Nature of God taketh off the terrour of my departure much I am sure I shall die at the will and into the Hand of Infinite Essential Love and Goodness whose love should draw up my longing Soul XIX I am going to a God whose Mercies have â—ong told me that he loveth me better than my dearest Friend doth and better than I love my self and is a far better chooser of my lot XX. As he hath absolute right to dispose of his own so indeed the fulfilling of his Will is the ultimate end of all things and therefore most desirable in itself And his will shall be fulfilled on me XXI I go to a glorified Saviour who came down to fetch me up and hath conquered and sanctified Death and made it my Birth-day for Glory and taketh me for his dear bought own and interest and is in Glory ready to receive his own XXII I go to that Saviour who on the Cross commended his Spirit into his Fathers Hand and taught me with dying Stephen to say Lord Jesus receive my Spirit XXIII I go no solitary untrodden way but follow all the Faithful since the death of Abel to this day save Henoch and Elias who all went by Death into that glorious World where I shall find them XXIV I have so long groaned under a languid Body and in a blind distracted and by Man uncurable World where Satan by Lies Malice and Murder reigneth in alas how many and specially am so weary of my own darkness and sinful imperfection that I have great reason to be willing of deliverance XXV I have had so large a share of Mercies in this World already in time and manifold comforts from God that reason commandeth me to rest in God's time for my removal XXVI I shall leave some fruits not useless to serve the Church when I am gone and if good be done I have my end XXVII When I am gone God will raise up and use others to do his appointed work on Earth And a Church shall be continued to his praise And the Spirits in Heaven will rejoice therein XXVIII When I am gone I shall not wish to be again on Earth XXIX Satan by his temptations and all his instruments would never have done so much as he doth in the World to keep us from Heaven if there were not a Heaven which Conquerors obtain XXX When darkness and uncertainty of the manner of the action and fruition of separated Souls would daunt me it is enough to know explicitely so much as is explicitely revealed and implicitely to trust Christ with all the rest Our Eyes are in our Head who knoweth for us Knowledg of Glory is part of fruition And therefore we must expect here no more than is suited to a life of Faith XXXI All my part is to do my own duty and then trust God obeying his commanding will and fully and joyfully resting in his disposing and rewarding will There is no rest for Souls but in the Will of God and there with full Trust to repose our Souls in Life and at Death is the only way of a safe and comfortable departure XXXII The glorious Marriage day of the Lamb cannot now be far off when the number of the Elect shall be compleat and Christ will come with his glorious Angels and will be glorified in his Saints and admired in all Believers and there shall be a New Heaven and a New Earth wherein dwelleth Righteousness and that Kingdom shall come where that which God hath prepared for them that love him Eye hath not seen Ear hath not heard nor hath it entred into the Heart of Man to have a formal full conception of it Come Lord Jesus come quickly Amen Fear not then O my Soul to lay down this Flesh Mercy hath kept it up for my preparing work but O what a burdensom and chargeable a Companion hath it been Is it better than the dwelling place of perfect Spirits O what are my groans and all my cold and faint Petitions and my dull Thanksgiving to their harmonious joyful Praise If a Day in God's Courts be better than a Thousand what is a Day yea what is Everlastingness in the heavenly Society and Work O how hateful a thing is darkness and unbelief when the remnants of them thus stop poor Souls in their ascent And make us half unwilling to go home What! unwilling to be with my glorified Lord Unwilling to be with Saints and Angels who are all Life Light and Love Unwilling to see the Glory of Jehovah O foolish sinful Soul Hath Christ done so much to purchase the heavenly Glory for thee and now art thou unwilling to go into the possession of it Hast thou been seeking and praying and labouring and suffering so many Years for that which now thou seemest scarce willing to obtain Dost thou not judge thy self unworthy of Eternal Life when thou no more desirest to enjoy it All this is long of thy too much adherence unto SELF and SENSE Thou art still desiring sensitive satisfaction and not content to know thy part wouldst know that for thy self which Christ knoweth for thee As if thou couldst better trust thy self than him Fear not weak Soul it is our Fathers good pleasure to give thee the Kingdom Trust infinite Power Wisdom and Love Trust that faithful gracious Saviour who hath so wonderfully merited to be trusted Trust that promise which never deceived any one and which is confirmed by so many Miracles and by the Oath and by the Spirit of God Whenever thou departest from this house of Flesh the Arms of Mercy are open to embrace thee yea
and ease a Man's Faith is not tried to the uttermost by actual forsaking all And yet an easy Death alone doth not fully try a Man For they that know that all must die may submit to this who cannot bear long pains before it But great and long pains and the Sentence of Death together are the trial And if God will so try me why should I repine Flesh will groan but the Mind may obediently submit It is but Flesh that Flesh that hath tempted and imprisoned my Soul I have too much loved it and am too loth to leave it And is it not Mercy from God to make me weary of it God is engaged against Idols that is all that is loved and pleased before him and if any thing that 's likest to be this Flesh It 's corruptibility tells us that both its pleasure and its pain will be but short Long pain is usually tolerable And intolerable pain will conquer Nature and not be long The Grace of Christ is sufficient for us and his strength is manifested in our weakness when he will not take the Thorn out of our Flesh though as Christ and Paul did we pray thrice or oftner And to be impatient with Death is to repine that we are born Mortal men and to fly from Heaven and all true Hopes and all the Felicity purchased by Christ And is this renouncing the World and trusting Christ for Life everlasting And why fear we that which endeth all our pains and fears A true Believer never suffereth so much but his Mercies are far more and greater than his sufferings His Soul is united to Christ His hopes of Heaven have a sure Foundation He is sealed up to Glory Rest and Joy are near at hand And former Mercies should not be forgotten And should not such men patiently endure O what a shameful contradiction is it to choose Heaven as our only Portion to believe in Christ for it and to seek it as the business of all our lives and yet to be loth to die that we may obtain it and to fly with fear from that which we so seek and hope for What a contradiction is it to call God our God and Father the God of Love and to call Christ our Gracious glorified Redeemer and yet to Fly from his presence with distrustful fear Almighty love may correct us may kill us but it cannot finally hurt true Believers So much of Moses and Elias discourse of the Sufferings and Death of Christ § 13. Sure it is not true that the Souls of the Fathers before Christ's coming did not enter into Heaven but lay in some inferiour Limbus For Moses and Elias came from Heaven their shining glory shewed that and their discourse with Christ and the Voice and glory that went with them And it is not to be thought that they were separated from the rest of the Souls of the Faithful and with Henoch were in Heaven by themselves alone and the rest elsewhere Though it 's said that God's House hath many Mansions and there are various degrees of Glory yet the blessed are all Fellow-Citizens of one Society and Children in one Family of God And they that came from East and West shall sit down with Abraham Isaac and Jacob in the Kingdom of God and Lazarus is in Abraham's bosom and the believing Thief with Christ in Paradise § 14. It seems that Moses and Elias appeared thus to fore shew the Resurrection of Christ and of the Faithful and to make it easier to the three Disciples to believe it Why should they doubt whether Christ should rise when they saw Moses that was risen before him And why should they doubt of the Resurrection of the Faithful and the Glory following when they saw these glorified Saints Some think that this Apparition was for the strengthening of Christ himself whose humane Nature had use for such Ministry also of Angels But it 's more certain that it was for the strengthening of the Disciples Faith and of ours by their Testimony As it 's said Joh. 12. 30. This Voice came not because of me but for your sakes § 15. It is much worth our noting in what a Communion this Specimen of the Kingdom of Heaven was represented in the holy Mount Here was a Voice of God and a glimpse of his Glory Here was our Redeemer in a glimpse of his Glory Here was a Moses and Elias in a glimpse of their Glory And here were three beloved Disciples yet in the Flesh and in weakness of Faith which needed such confirmation God our Father and our Saviour the Saints of Heaven and those on Earth are all of one Society or Kingdom there is a near relation and a near communion among them all When the Eternal Word disdained not so wonderful condescension as to come to us in the form of a Servant even of a poor despised Crucified Man it 's less wonder that Moses and Elias should come down as his Witnesses and Servants Heb. 12. 23 c. The heavenly Jerusalem and City of the Living God of which we are Enrolled Burgesses or Heirs hath many parts There is the Assembly of the first Born and innumerable Angels and the Spirits of the Just made perfect and Jesus the Mediator of the New Covâ—nant and God the Judge of all O what holy glorious joyful Company shall we have above Christ and his Angels will not despise the least of Saints § 16. But what was the Introduction to this Apparition and Transfiguration It was Christ's praying Luk. 9. 28 29. He went up into a Mountain to pray and as he prayed he was transfigured Surely this is written to invite and encourage us to pray We are in greater need than Christ It 's folly in Unbelievers to think Prayer vain because God is unchangeable We are not unchangeable And the exercise of Faith dependance on God and true desires being the Conditions required in a due Receiver maketh those Blessings become ourâ—s which else we had been uncapable of God who commandeth fervent Prayer hath promised to answer it Though we must not think to be the Rulers of the World nor have whatever our Flesh or solly doth desire because we ask it earnestly yet true Prayer is the appointed way for obtaining what we need and is best for us and we are fitted to receive And as Christ had this wonderful return to his Prayers his Servants have experience that their choicest Mercies for Soul and Body have come this way § 17. Though the three Disciples were admitted to this glorious Society how different was their case from that of Christ and Moses and Elias In the beginning of the heavenly concourse they were asleep with heaviness Even while this glorious Company stood near them Alas such is our infirmity in Flesh and such a Clog are these earthly Bodies to us that when God is present and Heaven is before us and we have the greatest cause to watch and pray a heavy weary sluggish Body even
and full of Glory in believing Oh how unexcusable am I for every weary Prayer or Meditation of such a Glory and for yielding to Satan and a backward Heart which have oft made me shorten these sweet employments when I had time and leave and need to lengthen them What! aweary of communion with Christ Aweary of speaking to my heavenly Father for endless Blessedness upon such joyful terms of Hope as he hath given me Aweary of the Thoughts of the City of God the heavenly Society and Work Aweary of exciting Divine Love and exercising it in Divine Praise which are the works of Angels and all the heavenly Host O how justly might God be as it were aweary of me and of my weary Services yea of the best that I can offer him which hath in it so much to give him cause § 26. Peter did not fly from this glorious Prospect but would fain have had more of it and have dwelt upon the Holy Mount And when God will call me to a more glorious Vision and Fruition in Heaven shall I draw back and be unwilling to go Was that Mount a better place than Heaven Is not Christ now to be there seen in greater Glory Is the Jerusalem above the Glorious Company of Saints and Angels no better and more desirable a sight than Moses and Elias were on the Mount Alas when we have read and heard and thought and talkt so much of Heaven and done and suffered so much for it that yet we should draw back with fear and unwillingness to go to it O what lamentable weakness of Faith and power of Flesh doth this discover when I read Peter's words It 's good to be here I am grieved that I who dwell in a World so near like Hell among the implacable haters of Holiness and Holy Peace and in a painful tired Body and who have thought said and written so much of Heaven do yet say with no stronger desire and joy It is good to be there When I see all natural Appetites desire earnestly their proper food and even the Bruits desire their beloved company shall my holy Appetite be so dull and indifferent Lord quicken it by the fuller communications of thy Spirit and save me from this hated dangerous disease § 27. But Peter spake he knew not what when he talkt of building Tabernacles on Earth for the fruition of that which is proper to Heaven Alas this is our common malady and folly We would have Christ in the Splendour of his Glory but we would have him here We would see Moses and Elias if they will come down to us We would have that in the Flesh which Flesh and Blood cannot possess O if we knew in what Land what City what Countrey what private House we might live in the least glimpse of the heavenly Glory how joyfully should we run to such an Habitation Merchants make towards the most gainful place for trade Poor men enquire after the most fertile and delectable Countries for Plantation Gentlemen delight themselves with a sweet and pleasantly seated Mansion But if Saints on Earth could find a place where they could see what Stephen or Paul or these Apostles saw and have a little of Heaven without dying and putting off this Body what a desirable dwelling would that seem to them And yet alas how cold are our desires to the time and place where we shall have much more We have Christ on Earth in the manner and measure that we are capable We have here some communion with Heaven as verily though not so sensibly as our Eye hath with the Sun God will not deny Believers their Title their Earnest and some first Fruits But when we would have our All or our Best on Earth or that on Earth which is proper to Heaven we know not what we desire or say Are we vile dirty Sinners in Flesh now fit for heavenly sights or joys Or is this World a place for building Tabernacles where we may see the Lord and take up our rest What! in a world of Temptations of wickedness of sufferings where we are daily wrestling for our lives and fighting not meerly against Flesh and Blood but against Principalities and Powers and the Rulers of the Darkness of this World even Spiritual Wickedness or wicked Spirits in high Places above the greatest men that are their Servants Eph. 6. 12. But that which is of the Earth is earthly Our earthly part would have an earthly Felicity But when we know that it is corruptible and a dying thing and that we have here no continuing City both Faith and Reason bid us seek for one to come The unfaithful Steward had so much Wit as to make sure of another Habitation when he knew that he must be no longer Steward God hath so constantly confuted and befooled me by his marvellous Providence when ever I have said Soul take thy ease and have thought of building Tabernacles on Earth as hath convinced me that such folly is not the least part of the danger of a Soul from which his Mercy did so watchfully save me If a little Health and Ease or a pleasant Habitation or beloved Company and Friends have but flattered me into earthly delight and hopes and made me say It 's good to be here I never was long without some pains and dangerous sickness or some loss or cross in Friends or some removal by personal or publick changes to tell me that I knew not what I said and that rest and happiness are not here As the laborious Ants and Bees are long gathering a heap of Treasure and furnishing a Hive with Winter Provision and a contemptuous foot soon spurneth about the one and the chief owner of the Hive destroyeth the other so while I neglected Wealth and Honour when I have but treasured up the choicest Books and taken pleasure in my Work and Friends God saw that such pleasure needed an allay and hath taken away Books and Friends together or driven me oft from them and my Habitation to tell me sensibly that I have higher to look and further to go and that Moses and Elias appeared not to turn Earth into Heaven and make me think that now I am well but to invite my Soul to their Celestial Habitation When Christ hath comforted me by hearing Prayers by great deliverances by wonderful success of my defective labours by comfortable Friends by publick Mercies it was not by making my condition pleasant to keep down my desires from Heaven but to draw them thither by such foretasts Contentment with our Condition as without more of the World is a great duty But to be content with the World or any thing on Earth without more holiness and communion with God and without a part in the heavenly Perfection is a heynous and pernicious sin But alas it is a far worse mistake than Peter's which deceiveth the greatest part of men They say indeed as he It 's good to be here till melancholy or