sin_n especial_o of_o lie_v and_o steal_v and_o play_v upon_o the_o sabbath-day_n i_o delight_v to_o read_v the_o word_n of_o god_n and_o good_a book_n to_o other_o but_o i_o do_v not_o apply_v it_o to_o myself_o as_o when_o i_o read_v that_o scripture_n that_o except_o we_o repent_v we_o shall_v all_o perish_v except_o we_o be_v bear_v again_o we_o can_v see_v the_o kingdom_n of_o god_n that_o the_o wicked_a shall_v be_v turn_v into_o hell_n etc._n etc._n i_o think_v these_o do_v not_o concern_v i_o because_o i_o be_v guilty_a of_o no_o gross_a sin_n i_o reckon_v my_o condition_n be_v good_a and_o i_o be_v ready_a to_o pity_v other_o but_o i_o be_v not_o sensible_a of_o the_o corruption_n and_o defilement_n of_o my_o nature_n i_o do_v not_o see_v the_o need_n of_o a_o change_n i_o be_v not_o sensible_a of_o my_o undo_a condition_n without_o christ_n i_o see_v not_o his_o excellency_n nor_o have_v any_o desire_n after_o he_o i_o know_v not_o upon_o what_o term_n i_o must_v take_v he_o if_o i_o will_v be_v save_v as_o to_o the_o outward_a duty_n of_o religion_n i_o live_v in_o the_o performance_n of_o many_o of_o they_o but_o as_o for_o the_o more_o inward_a and_o spiritual_a duty_n of_o christianity_n such_o as_o self-examination_n meditation_n self-denial_n mourn_v for_o sin_n and_o watch_v over_o my_o thought_n word_n and_o action_n strict_a observation_n of_o the_o lord_n day_n etc._n etc._n to_o these_o i_o be_v altogether_o a_o stranger_n thus_o i_o go_v on_o in_o rebellion_n against_o god_n have_v a_o form_n of_o godliness_n but_o deny_v the_o power_n and_o if_o god_n have_v then_o cut_v i_o off_o in_o my_o unregeneracy_n certain_o hellfire_n must_v have_v be_v my_o portion_n he_o may_v have_v swear_v in_o his_o wrath_n that_o i_o shall_v never_o enter_v into_o his_o rest_n o_o the_o wonderful_a patience_n and_o forbearance_n of_o the_o lord_n towards_o such_o a_o sinful_a creature_n it_o be_v a_o miracle_n of_o mercy_n i_o be_o yet_o on_o this_o side_n the_o grave_a and_o hell_n it_o be_v of_o the_o lord_n mercy_n that_o i_o be_o spare_v so_o long_o and_o that_o he_o give_v i_o space_n to_o repent_v that_o he_o shall_v afford_v i_o the_o mean_n of_o grace_n and_o send_v his_o holy_a spirit_n to_o strive_v with_o i_o and_o give_v i_o many_o conviction_n and_o all_o to_o reclaim_v i_o and_o bring_v i_o home_o to_o himself_o and_o that_o he_o shall_v not_o only_o give_v i_o space_n to_o repent_v but_o a_o heart_n to_o repent_v that_o he_o shall_v not_o only_o stand_v wait_v and_o knock_v at_o the_o door_n of_o my_o heart_n so_o many_o year_n call_v on_o i_o to_o repent_v but_o that_o he_o shall_v give_v i_o the_o grace_n of_o repentance_n this_o be_v undeserved_a love_n and_o distinguish_a mercy_n for_o i_o be_v dead_a in_o trespass_n and_o sin_n and_o have_v nothing_o but_o my_o misery_n to_o move_v his_o compassion_n i_o walk_v according_a to_o the_o course_n of_o this_o world_n i_o be_v insensible_a of_o my_o danger_n though_o ready_a to_o drop_v into_o hell_n every_o moment_n and_o i_o shall_v certain_o have_v perish_v have_v not_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o open_v my_o eye_n and_o to_o pluck_v i_o as_o a_o firebrand_n out_o of_o the_o burn_a and_o set_v i_o in_o the_o way_n to_o heaven_n for_o which_o i_o can_v never_o sufficient_o adore_v and_o praise_v his_o glorious_a grace_n in_o christ_n to_o i_o a_o vile_a sinful_a creature_n great_a be_v his_o mercy_n towards_o i_o for_o he_o have_v deliver_v my_o soul_n from_o the_o low_a hell_n which_o make_v i_o say_v with_o david_n come_v and_o hear_v all_o you_o that_o fear_v the_o lord_n and_o i_o will_v declare_v what_o he_o have_v do_v for_o my_o soul_n and_o the_o way_n and_o means_n whereby_o he_o be_v please_v to_o work_v upon_o my_o heart_n the_o manner_n of_o my_o conversion_n which_o i_o hope_n be_v true_a and_o real_a be_v as_o follow_v it_o please_v the_o lord_n by_o a_o sad_a providence_n viz._n the_o sickness_n at_o london_n to_o bring_v my_o uncle_n gearing_n and_o his_o family_n from_o thence_o to_o my_o father_n house_n where_o they_o continue_v about_o half_a a_o year_n my_o uncle_n be_v a_o good_a man_n i_o can_v not_o but_o take_v notice_n of_o his_o strict_a and_o circumspect_a walk_v and_o be_v much_o affect_v with_o it_o and_o i_o begin_v to_o think_v sure_o the_o way_n that_o i_o be_o in_o will_v never_o bring_v i_o to_o heaven_n i_o think_v i_o must_v live_v another_o manner_n of_o life_n if_o ever_o i_o will_v be_v save_v i_o have_v many_o conviction_n but_o there_o i_o stay_v but_o go_v no_o further_o i_o keep_v on_o in_o my_o former_a careless_a course_n when_o it_o please_v god_n to_o put_v a_o stop_n to_o the_o plague_n at_o london_n my_o uncle_n return_v with_o his_o family_n and_o i_o go_v with_o he_o and_o continue_v at_o his_o house_n about_o two_o month_n in_o which_o time_n it_o please_v the_o lord_n to_o follow_v i_o with_o new_a conviction_n partly_o by_o the_o good_a example_n of_o my_o uncle_n partly_o by_o many_o excellent_a sermon_n which_o i_o hear_v when_o i_o be_v there_o so_o that_o i_o begin_v in_o good_a earnest_n to_o look_v after_o the_o salvation_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o to_o say_v with_o the_o gaoler_n what_o must_v i_o do_v to_o be_v save_v i_o begin_v to_o be_v very_o desirous_a to_o hear_v the_o word_n i_o take_v all_o opportunity_n to_o hear_v and_o give_v attention_n to_o what_o be_v preach_v after_o another_o manner_n than_o i_o be_v wont_a to_o do_v and_o labour_v to_o make_v application_n of_o it_o to_o myself_o i_o hear_v mr._n vincent_n preach_v upon_o heb._n 12._o 14._o follow_v holiness_n without_o which_o no_o man_n shall_v see_v the_o lord_n urge_v the_o necessity_n of_o it_o as_o the_o only_a way_n to_o heaven_n i_o be_v much_o affect_v therewith_o and_o begin_v to_o think_v i_o must_v set_v about_o the_o work_n of_o a_o thorough_a repentance_n i_o begin_v to_o be_v sensible_a of_o my_o original_a corruption_n and_o that_o i_o have_v be_v guilty_a of_o thousand_o of_o actual_a sin_n those_o which_o before_o i_o count_v small_a i_o now_o look_v upon_o as_o great_a and_o upon_o myself_o by_o reason_n of_o sin_n to_o be_v in_o a_o lamentable_a condition_n i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o get_v out_o of_o this_o sinful_a miserable_a state_n and_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o show_v i_o that_o there_o be_v no_o name_n under_o heaven_n by_o which_o i_o can_v be_v save_v but_o only_o by_o jesus_n christ_n i_o think_v if_o i_o can_v have_v a_o interest_n in_o he_o and_o his_o favour_n i_o shall_v be_v save_v but_o i_o fear_v god_n will_v not_o thus_o have_v mercy_n upon_o i_o because_o i_o have_v go_v on_o so_o long_o in_o sin_n i_o hear_v a_o excellent_a sermon_n upon_o mat._n 11._o 28._o come_v unto_o i_o all_o you_o that_o be_v weary_a and_o heavy_a load_v and_o i_o will_v give_v you_o rest_v prove_v first_o that_o sin_n be_v a_o burden_n and_o second_o that_o burden_a sinner_n be_v invite_v to_o come_v to_o christ_n and_o then_o that_o those_o that_o come_v to_o he_o shall_v find_v rest_n for_o their_o soul_n this_o be_v a_o suitable_a word_n to_o my_o soul_n i_o be_v much_o affect_v in_o the_o hear_n of_o in_o for_o i_o feel_v sin_n to_o be_v a_o burden_n no_o my_o conscience_n and_o i_o will_v fain_o have_v rest_n to_o my_o soul_n i_o be_v sensible_a of_o my_o want_n of_o jesus_n christ_n and_o of_o the_o absolute_a necessity_n to_o be_v interest_v in_o he_o i_o begin_v to_o see_v his_o worth_n and_o excellency_n as_o the_o chief_a of_o ten_o thousand_o altogether_o lovely_a and_o then_o and_o not_o till_o then_o i_o have_v hungering_n and_o thirsting_n after_o he_o so_o that_o i_o can_v say_v none_o but_o christ_n give_v i_o christ_n or_o else_o i_o die_v thus_o it_o please_v the_o lord_n by_o his_o spirit_n to_o work_v upon_o my_o heart_n by_o degree_n to_o open_v my_o eye_n and_o to_o let_v in_o some_o spiritual_a light_n into_o my_o understanding_n which_o be_v dark_a before_o and_o to_o give_v some_o spiritual_a life_n to_o my_o affection_n which_o be_v dead_a before_o but_o o_o the_o enemy_n that_o do_v then_o labour_n to_o hinder_v my_o conversion_n and_o stop_v this_o work_n the_o world_n by_o allurement_n and_o discouragement_n seek_v to_o keep_v i_o off_o from_o christ_n my_o own_o deceitful_a heart_n and_o corrupt_a disposition_n within_o i_o be_v no_o small_a enemy_n and_o hindrance_n to_o the_o work_n of_o grace_n in_o my_o soul_n the_o devil_n the_o great_a adversary_n of_o god_n glory_n and_o our_o happiness_n come_v like_o a_o roar_a lion_n ready_a to_o devour_v i_o so_o that_o i_o
to_o be_v for_o ever_o with_o he_o hereafter_o january_n the_o 30_o 1682._o i_o spend_v this_o day_n in_o a_o secret_a fast_o in_o my_o closet_n the_o main_a end_n i_o propose_v to_o myself_o be_v to_o search_v again_o my_o heart_n to_o find_v out_o whether_o there_o be_v a_o work_n of_o grace_n wrought_v in_o i_o or_o no_o also_o that_o i_o may_v get_v corruption_n more_o subdue_v that_o be_v yet_o strong_a in_o i_o and_o that_o i_o may_v be_v enable_v to_o suffer_v for_o christ_n if_o i_o be_o call_v to_o it_o etc._n etc._n i_o hope_v i_o desire_v to_o be_v hearty_a in_o the_o work_n though_o hardness_n and_o deadness_n be_v too_o much_o upon_o i_o the_o lord_n forgive_v i_o hope_v i_o may_v say_v to_o the_o glory_n of_o god_n that_o he_o have_v begin_v that_o good_a work_n in_o i_o that_o he_o will_v perfect_v of_o the_o day_n of_o christ_n i_o do_v earnest_o beg_v of_o the_o lord_n that_o i_o may_v not_o be_v deceive_v and_o hope_v i_o be_o not_o i_o trust_v the_o lord_n have_v pluck_v i_o out_o of_o a_o natural_a estate_n and_o turn_v my_o heart_n from_o sin_n unto_o himself_o the_o lord_n grant_v i_o may_v now_o live_v answerable_a to_o the_o great_a thing_n he_o have_v do_v for_o i_o and_o keep_v the_o covenant_n i_o have_v this_o day_n renew_v january_n the_o 30_o 1684._o i_o keep_v as_o a_o fast_a and_o spend_v a_o good_a part_n of_o the_o morning_n in_o secret_a prayer_n after_o family_n duty_n i_o go_v to_o hear_v a_o sermon_n and_o then_o back_o to_o my_o closet_n where_o i_o spend_v the_o rest_n of_o the_o day_n the_o end_v i_o propose_v to_o myself_o be_v that_o god_n will_v help_v i_o against_o worldliness_n and_o distrust_n of_o his_o providence_n for_o i_o have_v be_v much_o trouble_v of_o late_a by_o reason_n of_o many_o loss_n and_o trade_n be_v fall_v almost_o to_o nothing_o and_o quiet_a my_o mind_n and_o enable_v i_o to_o trust_v he_o and_o withal_o direct_v i_o how_o to_o proceed_v as_o to_o earthly_a thing_n have_v some_o thought_n of_o leave_v this_o house_n and_o i_o desire_v also_o to_o be_v fit_v for_o the_o lord_n supper_n and_o that_o i_o may_v have_v strength_n to_o suffer_v whatever_o god_n shall_v call_v i_o to_o and_o in_o reference_n to_o the_o public_a i_o desire_v to_o seek_v god_n for_o mercy_n to_o his_o church_n and_o to_o these_o nation_n i_o begin_v with_o read_v some_o portion_n of_o god_n word_n then_o examine_v myself_o of_o the_o state_n of_o my_o soul_n by_o some_o character_n of_o grace_n in_o this_o book_n i_o hope_v i_o desire_v hearty_o the_o help_n of_o god_n and_o earnest_o beg_v i_o may_v give_v a_o right_a judgement_n of_o myself_o and_o be_v afraid_a of_o do_v otherwise_o i_o hope_v i_o may_v say_v to_o god_n glory_n sure_o there_o be_v somewhat_o of_o a_o work_n of_o grace_n that_o he_o have_v gracious_o wrought_v in_o my_o soul_n and_o that_o i_o be_o not_o dead_a in_o trespass_n and_o sin_n bless_a o_o bless_a be_v his_o name_n i_o be_o not_o affect_v as_o i_o ought_v but_o be_o apt_a to_o fear_v still_o know_v my_o heart_n be_v deceitful_a the_o lord_n help_v i_o to_o be_v much_o in_o this_o try_v work_n for_o i_o can_v make_v too_o sure_a of_o my_o salvation_n the_o lord_n remove_v doubt_n and_o fear_n and_o strengthen_v my_o faith_n in_o he_o and_o in_o his_o promise_n after_o self-examination_n i_o spend_v the_o rest_n of_o my_o time_n in_o prayer_n and_o hope_v i_o be_v hearty_a therein_o the_o lord_n hear_v my_o poor_a prayer_n for_o myself_o for_o my_o child_n and_o for_o the_o public_a i_o also_o read_v over_o my_o covenant_n enter_v into_o with_o the_o lord_n many_o year_n since_o and_o i_o renew_v covenant_n with_o god_n the_o lord_n help_v i_o to_o live_v answerable_o and_o that_o sin_n may_v be_v more_o subdue_v and_o grace_n strengthen_v that_o i_o may_v find_v the_o benefit_n of_o this_o day_n while_o i_o live_v and_o be_v fit_v for_o the_o everlasting_a enjoyment_n of_o god_n in_o glory_n february_n the_o 6_o 1685._o i_o keep_v a_o fast_a by_o myself_o the_o main_a thing_n i_o have_v upon_o my_o heart_n be_v the_o low_a estate_n of_o the_o church_n and_o of_o these_o nation_n as_o also_o to_o search_v into_o the_o state_n of_o my_o soul_n to_o get_v my_o heart_n more_o take_v off_o the_o world_n to_o have_v corruption_n mortify_v and_o be_v enable_v to_o suffer_v for_o christ_n if_o call_v to_o it_o and_o never_o to_o forsake_v he_o i_o bless_v god_n i_o have_v his_o assistance_n and_o hope_v i_o be_v hearty_a in_o the_o work_n and_o that_o upon_o trial_n i_o may_v say_v god_n have_v begin_v a_o good_a work_n which_o he_o will_v carry_v on_o and_o perfect_a to_o the_o day_n of_o jesus_n christ_n o_o that_o i_o may_v make_v more_o sure_a of_o christ_n and_o grace_n and_o heaven_n especial_o when_o i_o can_v make_v sure_a of_o nothing_o below_o but_o be_o at_o such_o uncertainty_n as_o to_o all_o outward_a thing_n the_o lord_n help_v i_o to_o live_v in_o some_o measure_n answerable_a to_o his_o great_a mercy_n and_o to_o 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self-examination_n if_o he_o can_v prevail_v for_o that_o you_o may_v make_v a_o great_a profession_n and_o do_v many_o thing_n and_o yet_o perish_v for_o ever_o judge_n of_o thyself_o by_o these_o thing_n and_o serious_o inquire_v 1._o whether_o eternal_a salvation_n have_v the_o pre-eminence_n of_o your_o esteem_n and_o choice_n that_o you_o prefer_v it_o before_o all_o worldly_a prosperity_n 2._o be_v the_o obtain_n of_o this_o salvation_n and_o prepare_v for_o it_o the_o great_a business_n of_o your_o life_n 3._o under_o the_o sense_n of_o sin_n do_v you_o give_v up_o yourselves_o to_o christ_n as_o the_o only_a physician_n of_o soul_n to_o heal_v and_o help_v and_o save_v you_o 4._o be_v it_o the_o sincere_a desire_n of_o your_o soul_n that_o you_o may_v be_v save_v from_o sin_n as_o well_o as_o hell_n from_o the_o power_n and_o practice_n of_o sin_n as_o well_o as_o from_o the_o wrath_n of_o god_n 5._o what_o be_v the_o matter_n of_o thy_o comfort_n be_v it_o to_o converse_v with_o god_n to_o look_v up_o to_o he_o with_o hope_n of_o his_o acceptance_n do_v the_o light_n of_o god_n countenance_n give_v thou_o more_o joy_n than_o the_o increase_n of_o riches_n can_v thou_o say_v from_o thy_o heart_n thou_o have_v rather_o be_v poor_a and_o despise_v and_o miserable_a in_o this_o world_n with_o god_n favour_n than_o to_o be_v the_o great_a person_n in_o the_o world_n and_o god_n to_o be_v thy_o enemy_n examine_v by_o such_o thing_n as_o these_o o_o let_v i_o be_v in_o earnest_n for_o christ_n and_o grace_n and_o never_o rest_n till_o it_o be_v put_v out_o of_o doubt_n that_o god_n in_o christ_n be_v my_o god_n and_o that_o he_o have_v make_v a_o everlasting_a covenant_n with_o i_o if_o this_o be_v not_o i_o be_o undo_v for_o ever_o but_o this_o i_o must_v obtain_v or_o my_o soul_n shall_v be_v in_o bitterness_n before_o the_o lord_n while_o i_o have_v a_o be_v nothing_o shall_v comfort_v i_o while_o i_o be_o graceless_a and_o without_o christ_n i_o be_o resolve_v for_o he_o his_o grace_n and_o favour_n against_o all_o denial_n if_o god_n will_v not_o let_v i_o see_v the_o good_a of_o his_o choose_a and_o reveal_v his_o christ_n and_o grace_n in_o i_o i_o will_v mourn_v i_o will_v mourn_v while_o i_o live_v if_o god_n will_v not_o comfort_v i_o nothing_o else_o shall_v if_o i_o may_v not_o find_v rest_n and_o peace_n in_o christ_n i_o will_v have_v none_o at_o all_o if_o god_n will_v take_v no_o pleasure_n in_o i_o i_o will_v take_v none_o in_o myself_o my_o tear_n shall_v be_v my_o meat_n continual_o i_o
mat._n 7._o 7._o psal_n 30._o 18._o joh._n 16._o 24._o psal_n 84._o 11._o isa_n 40._o 27._o psal_n 27._o 14._o lament_n 3._o 24_o 25_o 26._o psal_n 147._o 11._o psal_n 26._o 3_o 4._o isa_n 50._o 10._o isa_n 41._o 10._o isa_n 43._o 24_o 25._o isa_n 44._o 22._o 1_o joh._n 1._o 9_o 1_o joh._n 2._o 1._o mark_v 1._o 18_o 19_o rom._n 6._o 14._o ezek._n 34._o 6._o psal_n 103._o 8_o 9_o job_n 17._o 9_o prov._n 4._o 18._o phil._n 1._o 6._o joh._n 10._o 7._o rom._n 16._o 20._o heb._n 4._o 15._o these_o promise_n with_o many_o more_o be_v the_o lord_n please_v to_o give_v i_o in_o the_o time_n of_o my_o distress_n and_o trouble_v of_o spirit_n and_o i_o find_v they_o revive_v cordial_n o_o how_o welcome_a be_v a_o promise_n to_o i_o when_o i_o have_v be_v ready_a to_o despair_v and_o to_o give_v up_o all_o for_o lose_v and_o have_v nothing_o to_o support_v i_o then_o do_v i_o take_v the_o bible_n into_o my_o hand_n and_o desire_v god_n to_o direct_v some_o suitable_a promise_n to_o i_o and_o open_v the_o bible_n the_o first_o place_n i_o have_v cast_v my_o eye_n upon_o have_v often_o be_v a_o precious_a and_o suitable_a promise_n and_o have_v be_v set_v home_o with_o such_o power_n as_o wonderful_o to_o comfort_v i_o once_o be_v under_o great_a fear_n and_o terror_n i_o open_v the_o bible_n and_o the_o first_o place_n i_o fix_v my_o eye_n upon_o be_v isa_n 54._o 4._o fear_v not_o for_o thou_o shall_v not_o be_v confound_v nor_o put_v to_o shame_n thou_o shall_v forget_v the_o shame_n of_o thy_o youth_n thy_o maker_n be_v thy_o husband_n the_o lord_n of_o host_n be_v his_o name_n and_o thy_o redeemer_n the_o holy_a one_o of_o israel_n the_o god_n of_o the_o whole_a earth_n shall_v he_o be_v call_v for_o the_o lord_n have_v call_v thou_o as_o a_o woman_n forsake_v and_o grieve_v in_o spirit_n etc._n etc._n for_o a_o small_a moment_n have_v i_o forsake_v thou_o but_o with_o great_a mercy_n will_v i_o gather_v thou_o in_o a_o little_a wrath_n i_o hide_v my_o face_n for_o a_o moment_n but_o with_o everlasting_a kindness_n will_v i_o have_v mercy_n on_o thou_o say_v the_o lord_n thy_o redeemer_n etc._n etc._n i_o be_v wonderful_o affect_v in_o the_o read_n these_o sweet_a promise_n and_o take_v it_o as_o a_o voice_n from_o heaven_n to_o i_o because_o i_o have_v desire_v some_o such_o suitable_a promise_n at_o another_o time_n be_v in_o great_a trouble_n and_o fear_v i_o shall_v never_o hold_v out_o but_o be_v overcome_v by_o sin_n and_o satan_n i_o open_v my_o bible_n and_o the_o first_o place_n i_o fix_v my_o eye_n upon_o be_v isa_n 41._o 10._o fear_v not_o for_o i_o be_o with_o thou_o be_v not_o dismay_v for_o i_o be_o thy_o god_n i_o will_v strengthen_v thou_o yea_o i_o will_v help_v thou_o yea_o will_v uphold_v thou_o with_o the_o right_a hand_n of_o my_o righteousness_n i_o can_v express_v the_o comfort_n i_o receive_v by_o this_o suitable_a and_o seasonable_a promise_n one_o sabbath-day_n night_n be_v still_o follow_v with_o temptation_n full_a of_o unbelieve_a doubt_n and_o fear_n i_o be_v much_o trouble_v about_o it_o that_o i_o who_o have_v receive_v such_o great_a mercy_n shall_v have_v such_o vain_a thought_n and_o be_v so_o full_a of_o unbelief_n notwithstanding_o the_o experience_n i_o have_v of_o god_n goodness_n and_o mercy_n to_o i_o and_o the_o assurance_n i_o have_v before_o of_o his_o love_n i_o be_v tempt_v to_o think_v that_o i_o be_v not_o elect_v and_o that_o therefore_o all_o i_o do_v be_v to_o no_o purpose_n and_o that_o i_o shall_v never_o be_v save_v this_o be_v a_o subtle_a and_o strong_a temptation_n satan_n do_v not_o only_a labour_n to_o drive_v i_o off_o from_o all_o duty_n but_o to_o weaken_v my_o faith_n and_o bring_v i_o to_o despair_n but_o the_o lord_n who_o have_v many_o time_n before_o wonderful_o rescue_v i_o from_o the_o roar_a lion_n will_v not_o suffer_v i_o to_o be_v foil_v by_o he_o but_o be_v please_v to_o present_v that_o scripture_n to_o my_o eye_n there_o be_v no_o temptation_n have_v take_v you_o but_o such_o as_o be_v common_a to_o man_n and_o god_n be_v faithful_a who_o will_v not_o suffer_v you_o to_o be_v tempt_v above_o what_o you_o be_v able_a but_o will_v with_o the_o temptation_n make_v a_o way_n to_o escape_v that_o you_o may_v be_v able_a to_o bear_v it_o at_o another_o time_n be_v great_o trouble_v with_o unbelief_n that_o place_n in_o the_o revelation_n be_v terrible_a to_o i_o the_o fearful_a and_o unbelieving_a shall_v have_v their_o part_n in_o the_o lake_n that_o burn_v with_o fire_n and_o brimstone_n which_o be_v the_o second_o death_n this_o make_v i_o exceed_o afraid_a i_o think_v if_o the_o fearful_a and_o unbelieve_a shall_v perish_v then_o sure_o i_o shall_v because_o i_o be_v so_o full_a of_o fear_n and_o doubt_n and_o unbelief_n but_o the_o lord_n do_v not_o leave_v i_o in_o this_o great_a streight_n he_o will_v not_o suffer_v i_o to_o be_v overwhelm_v with_o sorrow_n but_o quick_o direct_v i_o to_o a_o suitable_a and_o seasonable_a scripture_n that_o be_v as_o comfortable_a as_o the_o other_o be_v terrible_a 2_o tim._n 2._o 13._o if_o we_o believe_v not_o yet_o be_v abide_v faithful_a he_o can_v deny_v himself_o this_o promise_n be_v very_o sweet_a and_o suitable_a to_o my_o present_a condition_n neither_o do_v i_o remember_v there_o be_v such_o a_o place_n before_o these_o and_o many_o of_o the_o forenamed_a promise_n be_v give_v i_o in_o my_o trouble_n and_o distress_n and_o the_o lord_n enable_v i_o by_o his_o spirit_n to_o make_v application_n of_o they_o to_o my_o own_o soul_n for_o my_o consolation_n certain_o i_o may_v say_v with_o david_n i_o have_v faint_v unless_o i_o have_v believe_v to_o see_v the_o goodness_n of_o the_o lord_n in_o the_o land_n of_o the_o live_n the_o sorrow_n of_o death_n do_v compass_v i_o about_o and_o the_o pain_n of_o hell_n get_v hold_v upon_o i_o i_o find_v trouble_n and_o sorrow_n then_o call_v i_o upon_o the_o name_n of_o the_o lord_n o_o lord_n i_o beseech_v thou_o deliver_v my_o soul_n gracious_a be_v the_o lord_n and_o righteous_a yea_o our_o god_n be_v merciful_a i_o be_v bring_v low_a and_o he_o help_v i_o return_v unto_o thy_o rest_n o_o my_o soul_n for_o the_o lord_n have_v deal_v bountiful_o with_o thou_o in_o the_o multitude_n of_o my_o thought_n within_o i_o thy_o comfort_n delight_v my_o soul_n in_o the_o day_n when_o i_o cry_v thou_o answer_v i_o and_o strengthen_v i_o with_o strength_n in_o my_o soul_n blessed_n be_v the_o lord_n because_o he_o have_v hear_v the_o voice_n of_o my_o supplication_n the_o lord_n be_v my_o strength_n and_o my_o song_n my_o heart_n trust_v in_o he_o and_o i_o be_o help_v if_o it_o have_v not_o be_v the_o lord_n who_o have_v be_v on_o my_o side_n when_o satan_n rise_v up_o against_o i_o he_o have_v sure_o swallow_v i_o up_o the_o lord_n have_v call_v i_o out_o of_o darkness_n into_o his_o marvellous_a light_n he_o have_v pluck_v i_o as_o a_o firebrand_n out_o of_o hell_n and_o set_v i_o in_o the_o way_n to_o heaven_n so_o that_o i_o may_v say_v again_o and_o again_o great_a be_v his_o mercy_n towards_o i_o for_o he_o have_v deliver_v my_o soul_n from_o the_o low_a hell_n but_o o_o why_o be_v it_o that_o i_o be_o so_o little_a sensible_a of_o this_o great_a deliverance_n how_o can_v i_o look_v back_o upon_o all_o this_o without_o admire_v the_o free_a grace_n and_o undeserved_a love_n of_o god_n towards_o such_o a_o worthless_a worm_n as_o i_o who_o be_v a_o enemy_n to_o he_o and_o a_o rebel_n against_o he_o and_o have_v nothing_o in_o i_o but_o what_o deserve_a hell_n o_o that_o ever_o the_o lord_n shall_v from_o eternity_n elect_a and_o choose_v i_o to_o salvation_n through_o jesus_n christ_n that_o god_n shall_v pass_v by_o thousand_o and_o let_v they_o alone_o to_o perish_v in_o their_o sin_n and_o cast_v a_o look_v of_o love_n upon_o i_o and_o when_o i_o be_v in_o my_o blood_n say_v unto_o i_o live_v that_o he_o shall_v not_o only_o give_v his_o son_n for_o i_o but_o to_o i_o that_o he_o shall_v take_v i_o with_o the_o prodigal_n from_o the_o trough_n and_o with_o the_o beggar_n from_o the_o dunghill_n and_o make_v i_o a_o heir_n of_o glory_n when_o i_o read_v that_o christ_n flock_n be_v but_o a_o little_a flock_n and_o that_o straight_o be_v the_o gate_n and_o narrow_a be_v the_o way_n that_o lead_v to_o life_n and_o few_o there_o be_v that_o find_v it_o i_o can_v but_o wonder_v that_o i_o shall_v be_v in_o that_o number_n and_o because_o i_o can_v sufficient_o admire_v i_o will_v therefore_o adore_v my_o good_a god_n but_o what_o return_v shall_v i_o
be_v a_o temptation_n and_o present_o to_o run_v to_o jesus_n christ_n for_o succour_n and_o relief_n and_o to_o apply_v the_o promise_n unto_o my_o soul_n and_o i_o quick_o find_v comfort_n and_o be_v soon_o free_v from_o temptation_n but_o in_o this_o my_o prosperity_n i_o be_v ready_a to_o say_v i_o shall_v never_o be_v remove_v i_o begin_v to_o think_v i_o shall_v never_o be_v in_o adversity_n and_o sometime_o i_o be_v ready_a to_o question_v whether_o i_o be_v one_o of_o god_n child_n because_o i_o have_v no_o affliction_n i_o think_v god_n do_v not_o love_v i_o because_o he_o do_v not_o chasten_v i_o i_o think_v i_o can_v bear_v any_o thing_n he_o shall_v lay_v upon_o i_o as_o i_o value_v not_o life_n so_o i_o fear_v not_o death_n i_o think_v i_o can_v free_o and_o willing_o lay_v down_o my_o life_n for_o christ_n if_o i_o be_v call_v to_o it_o but_o this_o joyful_a lively_a active_a frame_n of_o spirit_n do_v not_o long_o continue_v in_o about_o a_o quarter_n of_o a_o year_n it_o begin_v to_o abate_v and_o i_o begin_v to_o be_v more_o cold_a and_o indifferent_a in_o spiritual_a thing_n and_o not_o to_o be_v so_o active_a and_o lively_a as_o before_o this_o be_v a_o great_a trouble_n to_o i_o and_o make_v i_o to_o question_v all_o that_o be_v pass_v i_o think_v i_o shall_v still_o have_v grow_v better_a and_o better_o and_o not_o worse_o then_o that_o scripture_n be_v terrible_a to_o i_o 2_o pet._n 2._o 29._o if_o after_o they_o have_v escape_v the_o pollution_n of_o the_o world_n through_o the_o knowledge_n of_o our_o lord_n and_o saviour_n jesus_n christ_n they_o be_v again_o entangle_v therein_o and_o overcome_v their_o latter_a end_n be_v worse_a than_o their_o beginning_n and_o that_o scripture_n heb._n 6._o 4._o it_o be_v impossible_a for_o those_o that_o be_v once_o enlighten_v and_o have_v taste_v the_o good_a word_n of_o god_n etc._n etc._n if_o they_o fall_v away_o to_o renew_v they_o again_o to_o repentance_n also_o that_o text_n rev._n 3._o 15_o 16._o because_o thou_o be_v neither_o hot_a nor_o cold_a i_o will_v spew_v thou_o out_o of_o my_o mouth_n i_o be_v much_o sensible_a of_o my_o backslide_n fear_v i_o shall_v turn_v apostate_n have_v not_o that_o sweet_a promise_v interpose_v i_o will_v heal_v their_o backslide_n and_o love_v they_o free_o i_o have_v be_v certain_o swallow_v up_o in_o despair_n satan_n that_o roar_a lion_n come_v upon_o i_o very_o fierce_o but_o that_o scripture_n be_v very_o comfortable_a to_o i_o i_o will_v put_v my_o fear_n into_o their_o heart_n and_o my_o spirit_n into_o their_o inward_a part_n and_o they_o shall_v never_o depart_v from_o i_o and_o who_o he_o love_v he_o love_v to_o the_o end_n and_o he_o that_o have_v begin_v a_o good_a work_n will_v perform_v it_o unto_o the_o day_n of_o jesus_n christ_n and_o faithful_a be_v he_o that_o have_v call_v you_o who_o will_v also_o do_v it_o these_o and_o other_o scripture_n do_v support_v i_o but_o i_o can_v not_o attain_v to_o my_o former_a lively_a performance_n of_o holy_a duty_n nor_o have_v i_o that_o communion_n with_o god_n in_o holy_a duty_n as_o former_o which_o be_v no_o small_a trouble_n to_o i_o and_o keep_v i_o from_o rejoice_v in_o god_n yet_o i_o can_v say_v but_o i_o have_v sometime_o assurance_n of_o god_n love_n but_o not_o constant_o as_o i_o have_v before_o then_o my_o grandmother_n be_v sick_a i_o go_v to_o be_v with_o she_o at_o my_o uncle_n house_n he_o be_v a_o very_a good_a man_n his_o company_n be_v no_o small_a comfort_n to_o i_o my_o grandmother_n also_o be_v a_o very_a pious_a woman_n be_v always_o speak_v of_o what_o be_v good_a i_o enjoy_v much_o of_o god_n while_o i_o be_v there_o but_o yet_o be_v many_o time_n in_o fear_n about_o my_o spiritual_a state_n and_o much_o trouble_v with_o the_o temptation_n of_o satan_n after_o i_o have_v be_v there_o a_o quarter_n of_o a_o year_n it_o please_v the_o lord_n to_o visit_v i_o with_o the_o small_a pox_n which_o be_v a_o very_a sore_a disease_n to_o i_o i_o be_v bring_v so_o low_a as_o to_o be_v give_v over_o for_o dead_a by_o most_o if_o not_o all_o that_o see_v i_o and_o once_o they_o think_v i_o have_v be_v actual_o dead_a when_o i_o be_v first_o sick_a i_o begin_v to_o be_v in_o great_a fear_n what_o will_v become_v of_o i_o if_o i_o shall_v die_v but_o this_o cloud_n be_v soon_o blow_v over_o and_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o shine_v upon_o i_o with_o the_o light_n of_o his_o countenance_n and_o speak_v peace_n to_o my_o conscience_n and_o when_o i_o be_v as_o weak_a as_o i_o think_v any_o can_v be_v and_o live_v yet_o have_v i_o then_o much_o inward_a joy_n and_o comfort_n the_o promise_n be_v as_o cordial_n to_o my_o faint_a spirit_n that_o promise_n isa_n 41._o 10_o do_v often_o refresh_v i_o fear_v not_o for_o i_o be_o with_o thou_o be_v not_o dismay_v for_o i_o be_o thy_o god_n i_o will_v strengthen_v thou_o i_o will_v help_v thou_o yea_o i_o will_v uphold_v thou_o with_o the_o right_a hand_n of_o my_o righteousness_n that_o also_o psal_n 73._o 25._o my_o flesh_n and_o my_o heart_n fail_v but_o god_n be_v the_o strength_n of_o my_o heart_n and_o my_o portion_n for_o ever_o so_o psal_n 43._o 5._o why_o be_v thou_o cast_v down_o o_o my_o soul_n why_o be_v thou_o disquiet_v within_o i_o hope_v thou_o in_o god_n for_o i_o shall_v yet_o praise_v he_o who_o be_v the_o health_n of_o my_o countenance_n and_o my_o god_n these_o and_o many_o other_o promise_v be_v my_o support_n in_o the_o day_n of_o my_o distress_n i_o have_v then_o such_o assurance_n of_o god_n goodness_n and_o love_n to_o i_o and_o of_o the_o pardon_n of_o my_o sin_n and_o of_o my_o interest_n in_o christ_n that_o i_o long_v for_o death_n and_o can_v not_o bear_v the_o thought_n of_o live_v any_o long_o i_o have_v such_o fore-tastes_a of_o heaven_n that_o i_o care_v not_o for_o the_o earth_n i_o earnest_o desire_v to_o be_v dissolve_v and_o to_o be_v with_o christ_n which_o be_v best_a of_o all_o i_o think_v if_o i_o shall_v live_v any_o long_a i_o shall_v but_o sin_n against_o god_n and_o that_o i_o can_v not_o glorify_v he_o in_o my_o life_n as_o i_o desire_v i_o think_v if_o he_o shall_v restore_v i_o i_o shall_v not_o be_v enable_v to_o walk_v answerable_o to_o so_o great_a a_o mercy_n these_o and_o other_o such_o reason_n make_v i_o impatient_a of_o life_n and_o long_o for_o death_n i_o be_v angry_a with_o any_o that_o pray_v for_o my_o life_n i_o now_o fear_v that_o i_o do_v sin_n in_o be_v so_o desirous_a of_o death_n and_o not_o submit_v my_o will_n to_o the_o will_n of_o god_n to_o be_v at_o his_o disposal_n whether_o for_o death_n or_o life_n so_o it_o please_v the_o lord_n after_o a_o long_a and_o tedious_a sickness_n to_o raise_v i_o up_o from_o the_o very_a gate_n of_o death_n this_o be_v look_v upon_o as_o almost_o a_o resurrection_n from_o the_o dead_a for_o which_o great_a deliverance_n i_o can_v never_o be_v sufficient_o thankful_a and_o because_o i_o so_o much_o desire_v to_o die_v i_o do_v not_o prize_v 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under_o hardness_n feel_v and_o bewail_v and_o pray_v against_o true_a tenderness_n about_o sin_n be_v always_o accompany_v with_o dislike_n and_o hatred_n against_o sin_n and_o with_o watch_v and_o strive_v against_o it_o if_o thou_o have_v so_o much_o tenderness_n bless_v god_n and_o be_v thankful_a ii_o there_o be_v no_o instance_n can_v be_v give_v of_o a_o soul_n utter_o for_o saken_a of_o god_n that_o can_v mourn_v for_o the_o want_n of_o his_o presence_n if_o god_n love_n be_v precious_a to_o thou_o and_o most_o desirable_a be_v
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though_o a_o man_n have_v the_o gild_n of_o as_o many_o sin_n lie_v on_o his_o soul_n as_o there_o be_v drop_n of_o water_n in_o the_o ocean_n and_o if_o they_o be_v of_o as_o long_a continuance_n as_o from_o the_o creation_n of_o the_o world_n and_o aggravate_v with_o as_o heinous_a circumstance_n as_o any_o of_o the_o vile_a sinner_n in_o hell_n yet_o there_o be_v merit_n enough_o in_o the_o blood_n of_o christ_n to_o take_v away_o the_o gild_n of_o all_o those_o sin_n and_o when_o that_o be_v do_v merit_n enough_o leave_v to_o purchase_v as_o great_a a_o glory_n as_o any_o saint_n in_o heaven_n enjoy_v but_o let_v none_o thereupon_o presume_v to_o go_v on_o in_o sin_n for_o there_o be_v not_o a_o word_n of_o comfort_n in_o the_o whole_a bible_n for_o such_o a_o one_o he_o that_o be_v afraid_a of_o too_o much_o grace_n have_v none_o at_o all_o he_o who_o be_v unwilling_a to_o be_v make_v better_a be_v not_o yet_o good_a in_o the_o most_o afflict_a condition_n of_o a_o saint_n he_o 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say_v of_o the_o noble_a marquis_n of_o vico_fw-la their_o money_n perish_v with_o they_o who_o think_v all_o the_o wealth_n in_o the_o world_n worth_a one_o hour_n communion_n with_o jesus_n christ_n since_o no_o man_n can_v see_v thou_o and_o live_v lord_n let_v i_o die_v say_v a_o holy_a man_n that_o i_o may_v see_v thou_o and_o be_v with_o thou_o if_o your_o condition_n be_v never_o so_o low_a if_o your_o heart_n be_v low_a it_o be_v well_o enough_o the_o issue_n will_v be_v good_a and_o while_o god_n the_o fountain_n be_v leave_v you_o need_v not_o much_o complain_v for_o want_v of_o a_o break_a cistern_n while_o other_o live_v without_o god_n in_o the_o world_n a_o christian_n shall_v endeavour_v to_o live_v as_o without_o the_o world_n in_o and_o upon_o his_o god_n the_o same_o love_n of_o god_n which_o lead_v one_o christian_a into_o the_o wine-cellar_n and_o give_v he_o assurance_n may_v lead_v another_o into_o a_o prison_n for_o the_o trial_n and_o exercise_n of_o his_o grace_n in_o prayer_n if_o a_o man_n have_v not_o a_o care_n of_o the_o first_o wander_n of_o his_o heart_n from_o god_n he_o will_v hardly_o be_v able_a to_o recover_v himself_o afterward_o it_o be_v a_o memorable_a say_v of_o a_o great_a man_n he_o may_v be_v deceive_v who_o think_v to_o save_v any_o thing_n by_o his_o religion_n more_o than_o his_o soul_n before_o a_o man_n be_v humble_v he_o complain_v of_o god_n unkindness_n to_o he_o but_o afterward_o of_o his_o own_o to_o god_n god_n have_v one_o son_n without_o any_o sin_n our_o bless_a redeemer_n but_o never_o any_o son_n without_o some_o affliction_n and_o suffer_v bless_a be_v god_n we_o have_v any_o thing_n to_o deny_v or_o lose_v or_o count_v nothing_o for_o christ_n a_o believer_n pray_v with_o fervency_n as_o if_o he_o will_v not_o be_v delay_v and_o then_o wait_v patient_o as_o if_o he_o have_v not_o pray_v if_o you_o can_v say_v god_n be_v your_o god_n and_o all_o that_o be_v in_o the_o world_n be_v he_o how_o can_v your_o fear_n want_n if_o he_o be_v not_o all-sufficient_a why_o do_v you_o call_v he_o so_o if_o he_o be_v why_o do_v you_o not_o trust_v in_o he_o if_o the_o lord_n be_v good_a to_o the_o soul_n that_o seek_v he_o how_o good_a be_v he_o to_o the_o soul_n that_o find_v he_o if_o say_v jerom_n my_o father_n and_o mother_n do_v with_o tear_n entreat_v i_o and_o my_o wife_n hang_v about_o my_o neck_n and_o my_o child_n fall_v at_o my_o foot_n to_o beseech_v i_o to_o forsake_v christ_n i_o will_v cast_v they_o all_o off_o father_n mother_n wife_n and_o child_n and_o say_v farewell_o all_o welcome_a christ_n the_o follow_a account_n of_o the_o conversion_n of_o his_o niece_n will_v give_v far_a testimony_n to_o his_o charity_n zeal_n and_o diligence_n to_o promote_v religion_n in_o his_o family_n and_o how_o god_n honour_v he_o by_o the_o lustre_n of_o a_o holy_a example_n to_o recommend_v serious_a godliness_n to_o those_o who_o see_v his_o conversation_n and_o by_o his_o seasonable_a counsel_n to_o assist_v the_o recovery_n of_o one_o who_o under_o great_a conviction_n and_o temptation_n be_v in_o danger_n to_o be_v lose_v by_o too_o long_o conceal_v of_o the_o state_n of_o her_o case_n from_o such_o as_o can_v advise_v and_o direct_v she_o a_o short_a account_n of_o the_o conversion_n of_o mrs._n p._n f._n as_o she_o leave_v it_o under_o her_o hand_n before_o her_o death_n i_o be_o now_o go_v about_o to_o call_v to_o mind_v the_o great_a mercy_n and_o goodness_n of_o the_o lord_n towards_o i_o the_o unworthy_a of_o all_o his_o servant_n to_o record_v his_o lovingkindness_n and_o to_o make_v mention_n of_o the_o many_o and_o great_a deliverance_n i_o have_v have_v i_o know_v not_o where_o to_o begin_v nor_o where_o to_o make_v a_o end_n i_o be_o even_o swallow_v up_o in_o admiration_n and_o ready_a to_o cry_v out_o with_o david_n what_o shall_v i_o render_v to_o the_o lord_n for_o all_o his_o benefit_n especial_o when_o i_o consider_v my_o own_o vileness_n by_o nature_n and_o how_o i_o deserve_v to_o be_v cast_v into_o hell_n as_o soon_o as_o i_o be_v bear_v as_o have_v a_o heart_n full_a of_o sin_n vanity_n and_o rebellion_n against_o god_n be_v conceive_v in_o sin_n and_o bear_v in_o iniquity_n and_o as_o if_o this_o have_v not_o be_v enough_o i_o have_v add_v numberless_a most_o heinous_a transgression_n i_o have_v reason_n to_o bewail_v the_o sin_n of_o my_o thought_n i_o be_v think_v thought_n of_o pride_n and_o vanity_n as_o soon_o as_o i_o can_v think_v i_o be_v run_v away_o from_o god_n as_o soon_o as_o i_o can_v go_v with_o my_o back_n towards_o heaven_n and_o my_o face_n towards_o hell_n after_o i_o come_v to_o year_n of_o discretion_n the_o more_o i_o know_v of_o god_n the_o more_o i_o sin_v against_o he_o the_o sin_n of_o my_o youth_n have_v be_v innumerable_a and_o very_o heinous_a in_o their_o nature_n so_o that_o i_o have_v cause_n to_o pray_v with_o david_n lord_n remember_v not_o against_o i_o the_o sin_n of_o my_o youth_n o_o the_o precious_a time_n i_o have_v lose_v and_o the_o golden_a opportunity_n that_o i_o have_v squander_v away_o the_o light_n and_o love_n the_o mercy_n and_o mean_n of_o grace_n that_o i_o have_v sin_v against_o i_o have_v spend_v the_o best_a of_o my_o year_n in_o the_o service_n of_o sin_n and_o in_o the_o neglect_n of_o the_o great_a concern_v of_o my_o soul_n i_o confess_v when_o i_o be_v but_o a_o child_n since_o i_o have_v any_o understanding_n i_o have_v always_o some_o love_n to_o the_o way_n and_o people_n of_o god_n and_o some_o delight_n in_o holy_a duty_n and_o be_v fearful_a of_o
happiness_n for_o ever_o and_o when_o i_o think_v of_o the_o torment_n of_o hell_n the_o fire_n that_o must_v never_o go_v out_o and_o the_o worm_n that_o shall_v never_o die_v this_o i_o look_v upon_o as_o the_o due_a desert_n of_o my_o sin_n and_o as_o my_o portion_n i_o have_v renounce_v all_o my_o own_o righteousness_n i_o can_v see_v nothing_o in_o myself_o but_o what_o deserve_a hell_n i_o wonder_v at_o the_o patience_n of_o god_n to_o i_o i_o can_v justify_v he_o though_o he_o shall_v damn_v i_o i_o think_v myself_o unworthy_a to_o eat_v or_o drink_v or_o breathe_v or_o tread_v upon_o the_o earth_n i_o look_v every_o day_n when_o god_n will_v glorify_v himself_o in_o my_o damnation_n but_o this_o i_o keep_v to_o myself_o though_o other_o can_v not_o but_o take_v notice_n of_o the_o sadness_n of_o my_o spirit_n and_o wonder_v at_o it_o yet_o i_o do_v not_o tell_v any_o how_o it_o be_v with_o i_o my_o heart_n be_v very_o full_a and_o i_o long_v to_o vent_v it_o but_o i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o god_n i_o dare_v not_o go_v be_v conscious_a of_o my_o own_o vileness_n i_o be_v ashamed_a to_o make_v know_v my_o condition_n to_o man_n it_o be_v so_o bad_a i_o think_v none_o ever_o have_v such_o blasphemous_a thought_n as_o i_o have_v i_o wish_v some_o of_o the_o saint_n do_v know_v my_o condition_n that_o they_o may_v direct_v i_o and_o pray_v for_o i_o but_o i_o can_v not_o tell_v to_o who_o to_o apply_v myself_o thus_o be_v i_o in_o perplexity_n toss_v to_o and_o fro_o and_o not_o comfort_v and_o though_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o uphold_v i_o and_o keep_v i_o from_o fall_v into_o the_o pit_n of_o despair_n yet_o i_o be_v very_o near_o it_o i_o be_v encompass_v about_o with_o so_o many_o and_o great_a temptation_n and_o they_o come_v so_o strong_a upon_o i_o that_o i_o can_v not_o hold_v out_o any_o long_a to_o conceal_v my_o trouble_n then_o the_o lord_n put_v it_o into_o my_o mind_n to_o acquaint_v my_o uncle_n gearing_n with_o my_o sad_a condition_n but_o the_o devil_n endeavour_v all_o he_o can_v to_o hinder_v it_o by_o persuade_v i_o that_o it_o be_v a_o foolish_a thing_n to_o declare_v my_o wickedness_n to_o one_o that_o be_v so_o holy_a that_o i_o shall_v but_o purchase_v his_o ill_a opinion_n of_o i_o and_o cause_v he_o to_o hate_v and_o abhor_v i_o and_o do_v myself_o no_o good_a at_o all_o by_o tell_v he_o of_o it_o yet_o still_o i_o have_v a_o desire_n to_o do_v it_o and_o i_o have_v no_o rest_n in_o my_o spirit_n till_o i_o have_v do_v it_o but_o sometime_o i_o want_v a_o opportunity_n and_o sometime_o when_o i_o will_v have_v speak_v i_o can_v not_o but_o at_o last_o a_o fit_a opportunity_n be_v present_v upon_o a_o sabbath-day_n night_n all_o be_v in_o bed_n except_o my_o uncle_n and_o myself_o i_o be_v resolve_v to_o open_v my_o heart_n free_o to_o he_o when_o i_o begin_v to_o speak_v my_o mouth_n be_v as_o it_o be_v stop_v but_o with_o tremble_v i_o force_v myself_o to_o speak_v and_o make_v know_v my_o sad_a condition_n i_o tell_v he_o what_o grievous_a blasphemous_a thought_n i_o have_v and_o that_o i_o be_v afraid_a i_o have_v commit_v the_o sin_n against_o the_o holy_a ghost_n and_o think_v therefore_o i_o shall_v certain_o be_v damn_v and_o have_v no_o hope_n of_o salvation_n but_o i_o desire_v his_o prayer_n for_o i_o and_o his_o advice_n in_o a_o matter_n of_o such_o consequence_n it_o please_v the_o lord_n to_o affect_v his_o heart_n with_o my_o condition_n he_o tell_v i_o it_o be_v not_o my_o sin_n to_o be_v tempt_v if_o i_o do_v not_o yield_v to_o the_o temptation_n and_o therefore_o it_o shall_v not_o drive_v i_o to_o despair_v of_o god_n mercy_n he_o say_v it_o be_v a_o sign_n i_o have_v not_o commit_v the_o sin_n against_o the_o holy_a ghost_n because_o i_o be_v afraid_a i_o have_v commit_v it_o he_o speak_v much_o of_o the_o gracious_a nature_n of_o god_n and_o of_o his_o willingness_n to_o save_v sinner_n and_o as_o i_o remember_v he_o tell_v i_o of_o many_o and_o great_a sinner_n in_o scripture_n to_o who_o god_n have_v show_v mercy_n as_o manasseh_n and_o mary_n magdalen_n and_o the_o thief_n upon_o the_o cross_n he_o also_o direct_v i_o to_o many_o sweet_a promise_n in_o scripture_n but_o that_o especial_o which_o be_v never_o to_o be_v forget_v ezek._n 36._o 25_o 26._o then_o will_v i_o sprinkle_v clean_a water_n upon_o you_o and_o you_o shall_v be_v clean_o from_o all_o your_o filthiness_n and_o from_o all_o your_o idol_n will_v i_o cleanse_v you_o a_o new_a heart_n also_o will_v i_o give_v you_o and_o a_o new_a spirit_n will_v i_o put_v within_o you_o etc._n etc._n he_o tell_v i_o every_o one_o may_v lay_v hold_n on_o this_o promise_n when_o he_o read_v these_o scripture_n to_o i_o my_o heart_n rejoice_v and_o i_o begin_v to_o hope_n god_n will_v pardon_v i_o and_o give_v i_o a_o new_a heart_n and_o cause_v i_o to_o walk_v in_o his_o way_n he_o also_o give_v i_o very_o good_a counsel_n particular_o to_o be_v constant_a in_o the_o excellent_a duty_n of_o secret_a prayer_n and_o tell_v i_o the_o great_a benefit_n i_o shall_v find_v thereby_o etc._n etc._n now_o have_v make_v know_v my_o condition_n and_o declare_v my_o trouble_n and_o hear_v these_o gracious_a promise_n to_o poor_a sinner_n i_o find_v some_o ease_n and_o satisfaction_n in_o my_o mind_n and_o the_o beginning_n of_o comfort_n in_o my_o soul_n i_o resolve_v to_o put_v these_o duty_n in_o practice_n secret_a prayer_n self-examination_n meditation_n etc._n etc._n but_o i_o be_v altogether_o a_o stranger_n to_o these_o inward_a heart-duty_n i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o perform_v they_o as_o i_o ought_v how_o many_o time_n have_v i_o kneel_v down_o to_o pray_v and_o know_v not_o what_o to_o say_v but_o want_v not_o sigh_n and_o tear_n and_o so_o my_o necessity_n and_o the_o sense_n of_o my_o vileness_n my_o earnest_n desire_v after_o christ_n and_o his_o grace_n put_v word_n into_o my_o mouth_n though_o my_o duty_n be_v miserable_o lame_a and_o defective_a yet_o they_o be_v perform_v with_o much_o earnestness_n and_o importunity_n and_o i_o think_v i_o may_v say_v in_o sincerity_n sure_o then_o my_o heart_n be_v in_o every_o word_n and_o in_o every_o duty_n i_o do_v not_o then_o dally_v with_o god_n i_o be_v in_o good_a earnest_n for_o my_o soul_n and_o that_o promise_v be_v comfortable_a to_o i_o if_o there_o be_v first_o a_o willing_a mind_n it_o be_v accept_v with_o god_n etc._n etc._n i_o find_v that_o scripture_n make_v good_a to_o i_o then_o shall_v we_o know_v if_o we_o follow_v on_o to_o know_v the_o lord_n and_o that_o in_o isa_n 40._o 16._o i_o will_v bring_v the_o blind_a by_o the_o way_n that_o they_o know_v not_o i_o will_v make_v darkness_n light_a before_o they_o and_o crooked_a thing_n straight_o these_o thing_n will_v i_o do_v unto_o they_o and_o not_o forsake_v they_o say_v the_o lord_n these_o and_o such_o scripture_n be_v sweet_a and_o i_o begin_v to_o search_v the_o bible_n to_o find_v they_o and_o when_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o set_v they_o home_o upon_o my_o heart_n they_o be_v as_o cordial_n many_o time_n to_o my_o faint_a soul_n but_o though_o i_o have_v some_o comfort_n and_o support_v yet_o be_v i_o not_o free_a from_o temptation_n and_o trouble_v of_o mind_n my_o spiritual_a enemy_n strive_v hard_a to_o hinder_v my_o godly_a course_n and_o turn_v i_o from_o it_o have_v not_o the_o lord_n be_v strong_a than_o they_o my_o sin_n be_v a_o heavy_a burden_n to_o i_o and_o i_o have_v earnest_a desire_n after_o christ_n yet_o i_o find_v it_o very_o hard_a to_o believe_v satan_n labour_v to_o persuade_v i_o that_o i_o be_v not_o elect_v to_o salvation_n and_o therefore_o whatever_o i_o do_v i_o shall_v never_o be_v save_v this_o be_v no_o small_a trouble_n to_o my_o spirit_n but_o it_o please_v the_o lord_n to_o direct_v i_o to_o a_o book_n in_o which_o i_o find_v much_o satisfaction_n concern_v this_o matter_n then_o satan_n tell_v i_o he_o that_o believe_v not_o shall_v be_v damn_v and_o therefore_o because_o i_o be_v full_a of_o unbelief_n and_o doubt_v i_o be_v condemn_v already_o but_o when_o i_o be_v in_o great_a trouble_n about_o this_o it_o please_v the_o lord_n to_o cast_v in_o this_o scripture_n if_o we_o believe_v not_o yet_o he_o abide_v faithful_a he_o can_v deny_v himself_o this_o do_v very_o much_o support_v i_o and_o so_o do_v these_o follow_a promise_n which_o i_o have_v not_o take_v notice_n of_o before_o nor_o apply_v to_o myself_o isa_n 55._o 1._o and_o all_o this_o chapter_n and_o mat._n 11._o 28._o joh._n 7._o 37._o rev._n 22._o 17._o joh._n 3._o 16._o
but_o a_o weak_a faith_n if_o he_o meet_v with_o no_o temptation_n shall_v scarce_o know_v what_o doubt_v mean_n and_o a_o man_n of_o a_o strong_a faith_n under_o strong_a temptation_n may_v not_o be_v able_a to_o overcome_v fear_n and_o doubt_n if_o assurance_n do_v exclude_v all_o doubt_n and_o fear_n than_o it_o shall_v be_v perfect_a but_o as_o our_o faith_n and_o all_o other_o grace_n be_v imperfect_a so_o be_v assurance_n also_o none_o have_v assurance_n at_o all_o time_n it_o be_v like_o the_o wether_n sometime_o fair_a sometime_o foul_a yea_o in_o the_o same_o day_n fair_a in_o the_o morning_n and_o cloudy_a before_o night_n david_n have_v such_o strong_a faith_n at_o one_o time_n that_o he_o will_v not_o fear_v though_o ten_o thousand_o set_v themselves_o against_o he_o he_o will_v not_o fear_v though_o he_o shall_v pass_v through_o the_o valley_n of_o the_o shadow_n of_o death_n at_o another_o time_n he_o be_v so_o full_a of_o fear_n that_o he_o say_v he_o shall_v one_o day_n perish_v by_o the_o hand_n of_o saul_n v._o we_o can_v never_o have_v too_o high_a too_o vast_a thought_n of_o the_o goodness_n of_o god_n we_o do_v not_o think_v aright_o of_o god_n if_o we_o do_v not_o think_v he_o more_o ready_a to_o give_v than_o we_o be_v to_o ask_v there_o be_v nothing_o thou_o can_v go_v to_o god_n for_o that_o be_v according_a to_o his_o will_n but_o he_o be_v ten_o thousand_o time_n more_o ready_a to_o bestow_v than_o thou_o be_v to_o ask_v a_o child_n of_o god_n may_v go_v to_o he_o with_o as_o full_a confidence_n of_o his_o love_n as_o a_o child_n to_o the_o most_o tender_a parent_n in_o the_o world_n nay_o much_o more_o abundant_o the_o bless_a majesty_n of_o heaven_n be_v incline_v to_o succour_v and_o relieve_v those_o that_o be_v in_o distress_n and_o misery_n he_o that_o put_v bowel_n of_o compassion_n and_o pity_n into_o man_n shall_v not_o he_o himself_o be_v much_o more_o pitiful_a and_o compassionate_a exod._n 34._o 6._o he_o be_v merciful_a and_o gracious_a he_o delight_v in_o nothing_o more_o than_o in_o show_v mercy_n you_o can_v do_v nothing_o more_o grateful_a to_o god_n nor_o please_v he_o better_o than_o to_o plead_v for_o mercy_n mich._n 7._o 18._o when_o thou_o plead_v for_o mercy_n thou_o have_v god_n nature_n plead_v the_o same_o thing_n for_o thou_o all_o the_o yearning_n bowel_n of_o the_o most_o compassionate_a parent_n in_o the_o world_n be_v but_o a_o mere_a shadow_n to_o the_o bowel_n of_o god_n we_o may_v go_v to_o god_n in_o confidence_n of_o be_v hear_v for_o christ_n sake_n only_o as_o if_o we_o have_v never_o sin_v it_o be_v wonderful_a what_o the_o scripture_n say_v of_o faith_n and_o prayer_n vi_o this_o also_o may_v help_v to_o sustain_v and_o comfort_v a_o poor_a doubt_v tender_a heart_n that_o fear_n and_o suspect_v himself_o of_o hypocrisy_n that_o those_o very_a fear_n of_o thou_o be_v some_o show_n of_o the_o contrary_n man_n natural_o love_v and_o flatter_v themselves_o but_o thou_o loathe_v thyself_o for_o thy_o corruption_n be_v of_o good_a cheer_n it_o be_v grace_n and_o nothing_o but_o grace_n that_o complain_v of_o sin_n it_o be_v sincerity_n and_o nothing_o else_o that_o discover_v and_o bewail_v hypocrisy_n especial_o when_o thou_o bewail_v heart-hypocrisie_n and_o such_o secret_a and_o hide_a sin_n that_o only_a god_n and_o thy_o own_o heart_n do_v know_v if_o thou_o live_v not_o in_o any_o know_a sin_n nor_o in_o neglect_n of_o any_o know_a duty_n if_o thou_o will_v find_v out_o thy_o sin_n if_o there_o be_v no_o sin_n thou_o will_v have_v hide_v from_o god_n eye_n and_o no_o duty_n thou_o will_v have_v hide_v from_o thy_o own_o eye_n if_o there_o be_v no_o sin_n but_o thy_o heart_n be_v against_o it_o and_o no_o duty_n but_o thy_o heart_n be_v for_o it_o this_o prove_v thy_o uprightness_n vii_o if_o god_n never_o make_v his_o face_n to_o shine_v on_o thou_o in_o this_o world_n yet_o it_o be_v thy_o duty_n to_o trust_v and_o cleave_v to_o he_o through_o christ_n will_v you_o know_v why_o god_n when_o he_o have_v wrought_v grace_n do_v not_o enable_v the_o soul_n present_o to_o perceive_v it_o it_o may_v be_v it_o be_v that_o sin_n may_v be_v more_o bitter_a if_o we_o can_v have_v comfort_n when_o we_o will_v we_o shall_v have_v very_o slight_a thought_n of_o sin_n upon_o sight_n of_o thy_o grace_n possible_o thou_o will_v be_v proud_a to_o hide_v this_o pride_n god_n hide_v our_o grace_n from_o we_o it_o may_v be_v god_n do_v it_o to_o prove_v thy_o obedience_n to_o he_o for_o to_o rely_v on_o god_n grace_n and_o live_v by_o faith_n without_o sensible_a token_n of_o it_o be_v the_o pure_a act_n of_o obedience_n that_o can_v be_v by_o assurance_n we_o get_v more_o comfort_n to_o ourselves_o but_o by_o believe_v we_o give_v more_o glory_n to_o god_n therefore_o say_v christ_n to_o thomas_n bless_a be_v they_o that_o have_v not_o see_v and_o yet_o have_v believe_v when_o you_o have_v any_o evidence_n of_o grace_n you_o must_v be_v sure_a to_o rest_v only_o on_o christ_n and_o trust_v to_o he_o the_o great_a work_n of_o a_o christian_a in_o this_o world_n be_v out_o of_o a_o sense_n of_o his_o sin_n and_o weakness_n daily_o to_o depend_v on_o christ_n look_v to_o christ_n see_v our_o need_n of_o christ_n for_o pardon_n and_o sanctification_n and_o reconciliation_n every_o day_n this_o be_v our_o great_a work_n how_o many_o search_n for_o grace_n and_o neglect_v to_o put_v forth_o act_n of_o faith_n on_o christ_n alas_o grace_n be_v but_o token_n from_o christ_n let_v we_o not_o forget_v depend_v and_o rely_v on_o the_o bless_a jesus_n though_o we_o have_v no_o fight_n at_o all_o of_o any_o grace_n in_o ourselves_o where_o a_o person_n have_v any_o one_o sign_n of_o grace_n he_o may_v warrantable_o conclude_v all_o the_o rest_n to_o be_v there_o though_o at_o present_a he_o perceive_v they_o not_o it_o be_v the_o truth_n and_o not_o the_o measure_n and_o degree_n of_o your_o grace_n you_o be_v to_o conclude_v your_o state_n by_o the_o prize_v and_o love_v and_o seek_v and_o delight_v in_o the_o love_n and_o favour_n of_o god_n above_o all_o be_v a_o certain_a evidence_n of_o grace_n viii_o the_o great_a sense_n of_o sin_n and_o gild_n shall_v discourage_v none_o from_o come_v to_o god_n for_o mercy_n through_o christ_n because_o the_o mercy_n of_o god_n be_v infinite_o more_o than_o a_o sinner_n provocation_n be_v or_o can_v be_v o_o it_o be_v boundless_a mercy_n bottomless_a mercy_n there_o be_v many_o like_a sinner_n as_o thou_o be_v but_o there_o be_v none_o like_o god_n for_o pardon_v and_o forgive_a mercy_n mic._n 6._o 18._o my_o thought_n be_v not_o your_o thought_n nor_o my_o way_n your_o way_n as_o the_o heaven_n be_v high_a than_o the_o earth_n so_o be_v my_o way_n high_a than_o your_o way_n and_o my_o thought_n than_o your_o thought_n isa_n 55._o 8._o when_o conscience_n be_v awaken_v we_o be_v ready_a to_o doubt_v whether_o god_n will_v pardon_v we_o therefore_o he_o fetch_v argument_n from_o his_o gracious_a and_o merciful_a nature_n my_o way_n be_v not_o your_o way_n if_o you_o repent_v your_o sin_n shall_v infinite_o be_v outdo_v we_o be_v apt_a to_o think_v god_n like_o ourselves_o but_o the_o bless_a god_n be_v of_o tender_a bowel_n slow_a to_o wrath_n loath_a to_o take_v vengeance_n ready_a to_o forgive_v the_o great_a wrong_n and_o receive_v the_o sinner_n into_o his_o favour_n upon_o true_a repentance_n there_o be_v say_v god_n as_o vast_a a_o difference_n between_o my_o disposition_n and_o deal_v and_o you_o as_o between_o heaven_n and_o earth_n thou_o that_o be_v a_o awaken_v convince_a sinner_n the_o promise_n of_o the_o gospel_n belong_v unto_o thou_o isa_n 61._o 1._o the_o lord_n have_v anoint_v i_o to_o preach_v good_a tiding_n to_o the_o meek_a to_o bind_v up_o the_o brokenhearted_a and_o to_o comfort_v all_o that_o mourn_v can_v thou_o desire_v to_o be_v in_o a_o better_a case_n than_o those_o who_o christ_n have_v commission_n to_o take_v care_n of_o the_o poor_a in_o spirit_n the_o mourner_n for_o their_o sin_n those_o that_o hunger_n after_o righteousness_n not_o have_v a_o drop_n of_o comfort_n from_o themselves_o christ_n bless_v and_o pronounce_v happy_a bless_a be_v the_o poor_a in_o spirit_n not_o one_o of_o they_o will_v the_o lord_n have_v keep_v from_o come_v to_o he_o mat._n 11._o 28._o come_v to_o i_o all_z you_o that_o labour_n and_o be_v heavy_a lade_v and_o i_o will_v give_v you_o rest_n trust_v to_o i_o you_o that_o be_v trouble_v in_o conscience_n for_o sin_n i_o will_v bring_v you_o to_o rest_v in_o god_n love_n and_o favour_n be_v not_o discourage_v there_o be_v a_o mediator_n for_o thou_o who_o worthiness_n and_o
righteousness_n be_v more_o satisfactory_a and_o please_a unto_o god_n than_o all_o the_o sinner_n wickedness_n be_v injurious_a and_o displease_v to_o he_o o_o this_o be_v a_o very_a sweet_a and_o comfortable_a consideration_n indeed_o there_o be_v no_o such_o evil_a in_o sin_n to_o damn_v thou_o as_o there_o be_v merit_n in_o christ_n blood_n to_o save_v thou_o ix_o to_o despair_v of_o mercy_n be_v a_o great_a sin_n than_o all_o thy_o other_o sin_n this_o make_v thou_o like_o the_o devil_n himself_o it_o be_v the_o glory_n of_o divine_a grace_n to_o triumph_v over_o all_o the_o sinner_n unworthiness_n resolve_v therefore_o i_o will_v yet_o follow_v god_n though_o i_o have_v offend_v he_o come_v on_o i_o what_o will_v i_o know_v he_o be_v god_n and_o not_o man_n who_o can_v help_v nay_o will_v help_v if_o i_o come_v unto_o he_o isa_n 57_o 16._o i_o will_v not_o contend_v for_o ever_o nor_o be_v always_o wroth_a for_o the_o spirit_n will_v fail_v before_o i_o and_o the_o soul_n that_o i_o have_v make_v isa_n 41._o 17._o when_o the_o poor_a and_o needy_a seek_v water_n and_o there_o be_v none_o and_o their_o tongue_n fail_v for_o thirst_n i_o the_o lord_n will_v hear_v they_o i_o the_o god_n of_o israel_n will_v not_o forsake_v they_o when_o it_o come_v to_o fail_v faint_a sink_a die_a then_o come_v help_v be_v much_o in_o prayer_n and_o hold_v on_o wait_v god_n may_v make_v you_o seek_v and_o wait_v a_o long_a time_n aye_o but_o he_o will_v certain_o come_v and_o that_o will_v make_v amends_o for_o all_o x._o how_o shall_v one_o be_v willing_a to_o die_v that_o have_v not_o a_o sense_n of_o god_n love_n i_o answer_v when_o we_o can_v see_v our_o love_n to_o god_n though_o we_o can_v see_v god_n love_n to_o we_o what_o be_v the_o act_n of_o our_o soul_n towards_o god_n when_o we_o can_v see_v no_o love_n in_o his_o dispensation_n towards_o we_o as_o that_o good_a man_n under_o great_a affliction_n and_o dissatisfaction_n about_o the_o love_n of_o god_n at_o last_o break_v out_o if_o i_o do_v not_o love_n god_n why_o do_v i_o follow_v he_o and_o mourn_v after_o he_o if_o thou_o love_v god_n here_o be_v ground_n of_o comfort_n thou_o can_v not_o love_v god_n if_o he_o do_v not_o first_o love_v thou_o it_o be_v a_o memorable_a answer_n of_o mr._n dod_n to_o a_o godly_a minister_n that_o say_v to_o he_o a_o little_a before_o his_o death_n what_o will_v you_o say_v to_o i_o who_o be_o go_v out_o of_o the_o world_n and_o can_v find_v no_o comfort_n he_o reply_v what_o will_v you_o say_v to_o our_o saviour_n that_o be_v go_v out_o of_o the_o world_n and_o find_v no_o comfort_n but_o he_o cry_v out_o my_o god_n my_o god_n still_o this_o speech_n much_o refresh_v that_o godly_a minister_n other_o of_o god_n child_n have_v want_v sensible_a comfort_n at_o their_o death_n yet_o they_o have_v be_v able_a to_o act_v faith_n and_o to_o say_v my_o god_n my_o god_n still_o though_o god_n sensible_a presence_n be_v not_o still_o the_o same_o yet_o his_o word_n and_o promise_n be_v he_o speak_v as_o comfortable_o in_o his_o word_n as_o ever_o he_o can_v deny_v his_o own_o word_n god_n sometime_o withdraw_v comfort_n that_o we_o may_v prize_v his_o word_n more_o and_o depend_v more_o upon_o that_o you_o please_v and_o honour_n god_n most_o when_o you_o can_v venture_v your_o soul_n on_o his_o bare_a word_n and_o promise_n a_o faith_n of_o recumbency_n on_o christ_n in_o the_o want_n of_o comfort_n do_v more_o honour_n god_n than_o the_o high_a faith_n of_o assurance_n why_o shall_v death_n be_v a_o terror_n to_o they_o that_o fear_v god_n none_o need_v to_o fear_v death_n that_o be_v escape_v from_o the_o dominion_n of_o sin_n and_o the_o devil_n can_v you_o say_v you_o do_v not_o love_n christ_n and_o that_o you_o do_v love_n sin_n then_o there_o be_v cause_n enough_o for_o fear_n but_o this_o be_v to_o bely_v the_o bless_a spirit_n the_o godly_a have_v hope_n in_o his_o death_n a_o hope_n of_o life_n even_o at_o the_o point_n of_o death_n a_o godly_a man_n hope_n can_v never_o fail_v he_o he_o may_v want_v sensible_a comfort_n but_o he_o do_v hope_n still_o death_n it_o be_v a_o go_n to_o god_n and_o shall_v a_o godly_a man_n be_v afraid_a of_o go_v to_o his_o god_n again_o it_o be_v a_o sleep_n a_o rest_n be_v weary_a man_n afraid_a of_o rheir_a rest_n and_o of_o go_v to_o sleep_v if_o death_n be_v a_o enemy_n it_o be_v a_o slay_a enemy_n christ_n have_v be_v the_o death_n of_o death_n and_o why_o shall_v that_o have_v terror_n in_o it_o that_o have_v no_o life_n in_o it_o a_o godly_a man_n be_v a_o real_a gainer_n by_o death_n he_o gain_v more_o by_o his_o death_n than_o ever_o he_o get_v all_o his_o life_n long_o viz._n happiness_n and_o joy_n that_o shall_v never_o end_v again_o though_o death_n separate_v relation_n here_o yet_o death_n can_v never_o separate_v the_o godly_a man_n soul_n and_o body_n from_o christ_n both_o still_o continue_v unite_v unto_o christ_n they_o sleep_v in_o jesus_n god_n be_v still_o their_o god_n and_o therefore_o let_v not_o the_o saint_n of_o god_n be_v afraid_a of_o death_n xi_o psal_n 147._o 11._o the_o lord_n take_v pleasure_n in_o they_o that_o fear_v he_o in_o they_o that_o hope_v in_o his_o mercy_n then_o our_o prayer_n please_v god_n when_o they_o be_v put_v up_o to_o he_o in_o faith_n and_o hope_n of_o his_o mercy_n poor_a tremble_a soul_n that_o meditute_v nothing_o but_o terror_n little_o think_v how_o it_o will_v please_v god_n to_o see_v they_o to_o hope_v in_o his_o mercy_n they_o be_v conscious_a to_o themselves_o how_o they_o have_v displease_v god_n but_o hope_v in_o god_n mercy_n and_o he_o will_v take_v pleasure_n in_o thou_o they_o bring_v most_o honour_n to_o god_n that_o be_v most_o admire_a and_o magnify_v of_o his_o mercy_n his_o heart_n be_v most_o set_v on_o mercy_n in_o all_o the_o manifestation_n of_o it_o therefore_o let_v poor_a droop_a soul_n still_o maintain_v hope_n in_o the_o mercy_n of_o god_n through_o christ_n xii_o this_o be_v certain_a in_o every_o afflictive_a providence_n to_o believer_n there_o be_v more_o mercy_n than_o wrath_n nay_o it_o be_v all_o mercy_n in_o the_o issue_n and_o not_o in_o revengeful_a wrath_n but_o paternal_a anger_n they_o have_v support_v under_o all_o sometime_o they_o may_v be_v under_o desertion_n and_o no_o comfort_n of_o god_n come_v into_o their_o soul_n they_o be_v ready_a to_o say_v lord_n why_o cast_v thou_o off_o my_o soul_n but_o then_o they_o have_v this_o to_o support_v they_o they_o can_v love_v god_n and_o mourn_v after_o his_o favour_n though_o he_o seem_v to_o be_v go_v from_o they_o they_o can_v look_v after_o he_o and_o long_o for_o his_o return_n and_o this_o be_v such_o a_o effect_n of_o grace_n that_o be_v more_o worth_a than_o the_o whole_a world_n sustentation_n say_v mr._n baines_n i_o thank_v god_n i_o have_v though_o suavity_n i_o have_v none_o sickness_n and_o sorrow_n and_o death_n that_o be_v the_o fruit_n of_o sin_n none_o can_v be_v exempt_v from_o but_o grace_n do_v this_o for_o believer_n the_o curse_n the_o hurt_a the_o venom_n of_o all_o be_v take_v away_o they_o be_v gainer_n by_o all_o 2_o cor._n 4._o 16._o though_o our_o outward_a man_n etc._n etc._n all_o work_n for_o their_o good_a other_o have_v comfort_n with_o a_o curse_n but_o believer_n have_v cross_n with_o a_o blessing_n the_o gild_n of_o sin_n the_o grace_n of_o god_n in_o christ_n do_v quite_o take_v away_o from_o all_o believer_n heb._n 8._o 12._o pardon_v mercy_n clear_v the_o soul_n of_o gild_n what_o comfort_n be_v this_o to_o such_o that_o by_o the_o grace_n of_o justification_n through_o christ_n they_o be_v in_o god_n account_n righteous_a and_o upon_o the_o account_n of_o christ_n their_o righteousness_n they_o may_v come_v into_o god_n presence_n with_o as_o assure_a welcome_n as_o adam_n in_o paradise_n or_o the_o angel_n now_o in_o heaven_n this_o thou_o may_v be_v assure_v of_o that_o christ_n will_v not_o break_v the_o bruise_a reed_n nor_o quench_v the_o smoke_a flax._n though_o thy_o faith_n be_v so_o small_a that_o it_o yield_v not_o light_a to_o other_o nor_o heat_v to_o thy_o own_o heart_n yet_o christ_n discern_v and_o accept_v it_o but_o can_v a_o man_n have_v the_o exercise_n of_o grace_n and_o not_o know_v it_o fear_v god_n and_o not_o discern_v it_o i_o answer_v yes_o some_o grace_n may_v then_o be_v act_v and_o discern_v by_o other_o as_o well_o as_o at_o any_o other_o time_n he_o may_v fear_v god_n as_o true_o and_o as_o much_o as_o ever_o and_o yet_o his_o grace_n may_v not_o have_v light_a to_o discover_v itself_o to_o he_o it_o may_v have_v a_o be_v and_o work_v in_o the_o heart_n when_o it_o be_v not_o clear_a in_o thy_o apprehension_n xiii_o harken_v unto_o the_o voice_n of_o god_n o_o poor_a doubt_v disconsolate_a sinner_n why_o do_v thou_o pass_v sentence_n against_o thyself_o thou_o say_v o_o my_o sin_n be_v very_o many_o well_o but_o the_o mercy_n of_o god_n be_v far_o more_o o_o but_o my_o sin_n be_v very_o great_a true_o but_o the_o meroy_n of_o god_n be_v far_o great_a o_o but_o my_o sin_n be_v of_o long_a continuance_n true_o but_o yet_o thy_o sin_n be_v but_o sin_n of_o time_n his_o mercy_n be_v the_o mercy_n of_o eternity_n o_o but_o my_o sin_n be_v great_a than_o you_o be_v aware_a of_o they_o be_v crimson_a scarlet_a sin_n how_o great_a be_v they_o be_v they_o as_o great_a as_o the_o sin_n of_o manasseh_n that_o be_v a_o wizard_n that_o fill_v jerusalem_n with_o blood_n yet_o god_n pardon_v he_o be_v they_o great_a than_o the_o sin_n of_o mary_n magdalen_n out_o of_o who_o be_v cast_v seven_o devil_n and_o yet_o god_n have_v mercy_n for_o she_o o_o but_o i_o fear_v the_o stock_n of_o mercy_n be_v quite_o spend_v no_o his_o mercy_n endure_v for_o ever_o it_o be_v from_o everlasting_a to_o everlasting_a but_o i_o have_v exceed_o abuse_v mercy_n yet_o remember_v that_o though_o thou_o have_v sin_v against_o his_o mercy_n yet_o thou_o have_v not_o sin_v above_o his_o mercy_n isa_n 55._o 8._o my_o thought_n be_v not_o as_o your_o thought_n nor_o my_o way_n as_o your_o way_n as_o the_o heaven_n be_v above_o the_o earth_n so_o be_v my_o thought_n above_o your_o thought_n and_o my_o way_n above_o your_o way_n finis_fw-la finis_fw-la my_o honour_a friend_n mr._n joshua_n gearing_n sen._n