Selected quad for the lemma: mercy_n

Word A Word B Word C Word D Occurrence Frequency Band MI MI Band Prominent
mercy_n great_a lord_n pity_n 2,183 5 9.5016 5 false
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ID Title Author Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) STC Words Pages
A64409 The flaming hart, or, The life of the gloriovs S. Teresa foundresse of the reformation, of the order of the all-immaculate Virgin-Mother, our B. Lady, of Mount Carmel : this history of her life, was written by the Saint herself, in Spanish, and is newly, now, translated into English ...; Vida de Santa Teresa de Jesus. English. 1642 Teresa, of Avila, Saint, 1515-1582.; Matthew, Tobie, Sir, 1577-1655. 1642 (1642) Wing T753; ESTC R33913 394,344 744

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in_o the_o garden_n it_o be_v to_o my_o think_n as_o if_o our_o lord_n have_v make_v it_o to_o be_v utter_v for_o i_o so_o quick_a be_v that_o sense_n which_o i_o have_v thereof_o in_o my_o hart_n and_o i_o be_v for_o a_o very_a great_a while_n even_o dissolve_v as_o it_o be_v in_o tear_n and_o feel_v a_o great_a affliction_n and_o vexation_n o_o my_o dear_a lord_n howmuch_o do_v a_o soul_n grow_v to_o suffer_v and_o what_o torment_n do_v it_o endure_v for_o the_o lose_n of_o her_o liberty_n while_o yet_o she_o be_v create_v and_o ordain_v to_o be_v the_o lady_n of_o herself_o and_o to_o command_v for_o my_o part_n i_o be_o in_o a_o wonder_n how_o i_o can_v be_v able_a to_o endure_v so_o great_a torment_n but_o bless_v be_v almighty_a god_n who_o give_v i_o life_n till_o i_o may_v get_v out_o of_o that_o so_o deadly_a a_o death_n and_o now_o i_o think_v my_o soul_n be_v obtain_v great_a strength_n at_o the_o hand_n of_o that_o divine_a majesty_n and_o that_o now_o he_o may_v grow_v 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to_o abuse_v and_o cozen_v so_o many_o good_a man_n and_o i_o seem_v to_o be_v so_o very_o wicked_a that_o i_o think_v all_o the_o mischief_n and_o heresy_n which_o have_v be_v raise_v and_o bring_v late_o into_o the_o world_n be_v but_o the_o fruit_n of_o my_o sin_n but_o this_o be_v a_o false_a kind_n of_o humility_n which_o the_o devil_n invent_v of_o purpose_n for_o my_o disquiet_n to_o try_v if_o he_o can_v bring_v my_o soul_n to_o despair_v and_o i_o know_v so_o well_o by_o experience_n that_o this_o be_v a_o trick_n of_o the_o devil_n that_o now_o when_o he_o find_v that_o i_o understand_v he_o he_o torment_v i_o not_o so_o often_o herein_o as_o he_o be_v wont_a the_o certainty_n of_o this_o truth_n be_v clear_o find_v by_o the_o restlessness_n and_o disquiet_v wherewith_o he_o begin_v and_o by_o the_o bussle_v which_o he_o keep_v in_o the_o soul_n all_o the_o while_o it_o last_v and_o by_o the_o obscurity_n and_o affliction_n which_o he_o bring_v to_o it_o and_o by_o the_o 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sometime_o to_o conceive_v that_o the_o devil_n go_v play_v with_o a_o soul_n as_o man_n will_v do_v with_o a_o ball_n and_o she_o the_o while_n be_v without_o any_o mean_n at_o all_o to_o deliver_v herself_o out_o of_o their_o power_n nor_o can_v it_o be_v express_v in_o what_o a_o deal_n of_o sufferance_n she_o be_v by_o this_o mean_n she_o walk_v in_o search_n of_o some_o defence_n and_o almighty_a god_n permit_v that_o she_o may_v find_v none_o she_o only_o and_o ever_o remain_v with_o the_o faculty_n and_o power_n of_o her_o freewill_n though_o yet_o not_o fair_a and_o clear_a but_o as_o if_o a_o man_n have_v eye_n which_o be_v shut_v or_o as_o if_o some_o person_n who_o have_v go_v very_o often_o by_o any_o way_n and_o so_o though_o it_o be_v night_n and_o dark_a yet_o by_o the_o mark_n which_o he_o have_v former_o take_v know_v where_o he_o may_v be_v in_o danger_n to_o stumble_v because_o former_o he_o have_v see_v the_o same_o path_n by_o day_n and_o so_o he_o secure_v himself_o from_o that_o danger_n in_o like_a manner_n do_v it_o occur_v to_o the_o soul_n which_o now_o seem_v but_o mere_o by_o custom_n not_o to_o offend_v almighty_a god_n for_o i_o speak_v not_o here_o of_o that_o protection_n which_o our_o lord_n afford_v she_o though_o yet_o that_o be_v the_o thing_n which_o import_v most_o but_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n our_o faith_n be_v deaden_v or_o at_o least_o lay_v asleep_o as_o the_o other_o virtue_n also_o be_v in_o such_o time_n as_o those_o though_o yet_o they_o be_v not_o utter_o lose_v for_o she_o well_o believe_v even_o then_o that_o doctrine_n which_o the_o church_n teach_v and_o she_o pronounce_v it_o also_o with_o her_o mouth_n whereas_o yet_o on_o the_o other_o side_n the_o devil_n do_v so_o press_v and_o dull_a this_o faith_n that_o she_o seem_v to_o have_v but_o such_o a_o kind_n of_o knowledge_n of_o god_n as_o man_n have_v a_o notice_n of_o thing_n which_o be_v speak_v of_o in_o their_o hear_n but_o yet_o from_o very_o far_o off_o her_o love_n also_o be_v so_o very_o lukewarm_a that_o if_o she_o chance_v to_o hear_v almighty_a god_n speak_v of_o she_o hearken_v in_o such_o a_o kind_n as_o to_o believe_v indeed_o that_o he_o be_v that_o which_o he_o be_v because_o the_o church_n declare_v it_o but_o yet_o she_o have_v utter_o lose_v all_o memory_n of_o whatsoever_o she_o have_v experiment_a of_o he_o in_o herself_o for_o she_o to_o go_v and_o pray_v and_o remain_v in_o solitude_n be_v but_o to_o increase_v her_o affliction_n for_o the_o torment_n which_o she_o feel_v in_o herself_o and_o yet_o without_o know_v very_o well_o why_o be_v
which_o be_v but_o a_o kind_n of_o shadow_n of_o such_o thing_n as_o be_v suffer_v in_o that_o place_n she_o begin_v also_o to_o declare_v the_o way_n and_o manner_n how_o that_o monastery_n be_v found_v in_o auila_n under_o the_o name_n of_o s._n joseph_n after_o a_o long_a time_n when_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v already_o do_v i_o many_o of_o those_o favour_n which_o i_o have_v here_o relate_v as_o other_o also_o which_o be_v very_o great_a i_o find_v one_o day_n whilst_o i_o be_v in_o prayer_n though_o i_o can_v not_o tell_v how_o that_o i_o be_v place_v in_o hell_n and_o i_o understand_v that_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v that_o i_o shall_v see_v the_o place_n which_o the_o party_n devil_n have_v prepare_v for_o i_o and_o which_o i_o have_v deserve_v for_o my_o she_o sin_n this_o last_v but_o a_o very_a little_a space_n of_o time_n but_o yet_o if_o i_o shall_v live_v many_o year_n i_o hold_v it_o for_o a_o impossible_a thing_n that_o ever_o i_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o forget_v it_o the_o entry_n thereof_o seem_v body_n to_o i_o to_o be_v after_o the_o manner_n of_o a_o long_a and_o straight_o lane_n or_o rather_o as_o if_o it_o have_v be_v a_o low_a narrow_a long_a and_o dark_a oven_n the_o ground_n seem_v to_o be_v as_o if_o it_o have_v be_v like_o water_n all_o thicken_a with_o dirt_n and_o it_o be_v both_o very_a filthy_a and_o of_o a_o most_o pestilential_a smell_n and_o have_v a_o multitude_n of_o loathsome_a vermin_n as_o fly_n and_o worm_n and_o such_o other_o ugly_a creature_n in_o it_o at_o the_o end_n of_o it_o there_o be_v a_o certain_a hollow_a place_n as_o if_o it_o have_v be_v a_o kind_n of_o a_o little_a press_n in_o a_o wall_n into_o which_o i_o see_v myself_o crowd_v with_o great_a constraint_n now_o all_o that_o be_v even_o delightful_a to_o the_o sight_n in_o comparison_n of_o what_o i_o feel_v there_o and_o this_o which_o i_o have_v say_v of_o it_o already_o i_o also_o find_v to_o be_v very_o imperfect_o describe_v but_o as_o for_o the_o feel_v part_n the_o very_a beginning_n to_o say_v what_o it_o be_v be_v a_o thing_n which_o can_v neither_o be_v well_o no_o nor_o even_o almost_o at_o all_o relate_v as_o it_o be_v indeed_o in_o regard_n that_o i_o feel_v a_o certain_a fire_n in_o my_o very_a soul_n though_o yet_o i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o declare_v it_o as_o indeed_o it_o be_v for_o all_o those_o almost_o insupportable_a torment_n which_o i_o have_v feel_v with_o all_o extremi_fw-la tie_n in_o this_o life_n and_o whereof_o the_o physician_n be_v wont_a to_o affirm_v that_o even_o in_o the_o corporeal_a way_n they_o be_v the_o great_a which_o can_v be_v suffer_v in_o this_o world_n as_o namely_o that_o shrinking-up_a of_o all_o my_o sinew_n when_o i_o instant_o grow_v lame_a by_o it_o beside_o many_o other_o torment_n in_o several_a kind_n as_o also_o that_o i_o have_v be_v vex_v much_o by_o the_o devil_n be_v all_o no_o more_o then_o absolute_o just_a nothing_o in_o comparison_n of_o what_o i_o feel_v in_o that_o place_n beside_o my_o know_v with_o all_o this_o that_o no_o part_n of_o it_o be_v ever_o to_o cease_v but_o to_o continue_v without_o ever_o have_v a_o end_n and_o yet_o even_o all_o this_o which_o i_o have_v say_v be_v also_o nothing_o in_o comparison_n of_o that_o continual_a agonize_a of_o the_o soul_n that_o press_v that_o stifle_v which_o be_v so_o very_o sensible_a a_o affliction_n together_o with_o that_o desperate_a kind_n of_o discontent_n and_o disgust_v and_o repine_v which_o i_o be_o no_o way_n able_a to_o express_v for_o to_o say_v that_o it_o be_v a_o continual_a tear_v of_o the_o soul_n into_o fitter_n be_v to_o say_v little_a since_o in_o that_o case_n it_o seem_v that_o it_o must_v be_v some_o other_o body_n who_o tear_n it_o but_o in_o this_o the_o soul_n itself_o be_v the_o very_a executioner_n which_o even_o tear_v itself_o there_o be_v beside_o all_o that_o another_o strange_a ingredient_n which_o be_v that_o interior_a kind_n of_o fire_n and_o that_o unspeakable_a despair_n upon_o those_o intolerable_a torment_n and_o sorrow_n i_o see_v not_o who_o it_o be_v that_o inflict_v these_o thing_n but_o i_o think_v i_o find_v myself_o to_o be_v slice_v and_o mince_a and_o press_v and_o burn_v all_o at_o once_o and_o i_o say_v and_o say_v again_o that_o that_o interior_a fire_n and_o despair_n be_v the_o very_o worst_a of_o it_o all_o whilst_o i_o be_v in_o this_o most_o pestilential_a place_n and_o that_o without_o any_o possibility_n of_o ever_o so_o much_o as_o once_o hope_v for_o any_o comfort_n at_o all_o there_o be_v no_o such_o thing_n to_o be_v think_v of_o as_o sit_v or_o extend_v myself_o nor_o be_v there_o any_o place_n void_a to_o receive_v one_o though_o yet_o they_o have_v put_v i_o into_o that_o thing_n which_o be_v like_o a_o hole_n in_o a_o wall_n because_o even_o those_o very_a wall_n which_o be_v also_o most_o hideous_a to_o the_o sight_n do_v even_o press_v their_o very_a self_n close_o towards_o and_o upon_o one_o another_o and_o every_o thing_n there_o help_v to_o choke_v there_o be_v also_o no_o light_n in_o that_o place_n but_o all_o be_v gross_a and_o even_o palpable_a darkness_n for_o my_o part_n i_o understand_v not_o how_o this_o can_v be_v for_o with_o have_v no_o light_n at_o all_o yet_o all_o that_o which_o may_v be_v able_a to_o give_v any_o vexation_n to_o the_o sight_n be_v discern_v and_o see_v our_o lord_n be_v not_o please_v at_o that_o time_n that_o i_o shall_v see_v any_o more_o of_o hell_n but_o afterward_o i_o have_v another_o vision_n of_o most_o fearful_a thing_n and_o of_o the_o punishment_n of_o certain_a particular_a vice_n and_o forasmuch_o as_o i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o discern_v and_o judge_v of_o by_o the_o sight_n these_o seem_v to_o be_v even_o more_o hideous_a than_o the_o former_a but_o yet_o in_o regard_n that_o i_o feel_v not_o the_o pain_n of_o it_o they_o make_v i_o not_o so_o much_o afraid_a for_o in_o this_o other_o present_a vision_n our_o lord_n be_v please_v that_o i_o shall_v real_o feel_v those_o torment_n and_o affliction_n in_o spirit_n even_o as_o if_o my_o very_a body_n have_v be_v suffer_v they_o there_o favour_n i_o know_v not_o how_o all_o this_o can_v be_v but_o yet_o i_o understand_v well_o enough_o that_o it_o be_v a_o very_a great_a favour_n and_o that_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v that_o i_o shall_v discern_v as_o even_o by_o the_o very_a sight_n of_o my_o own_o eye_n from_o whence_o his_o great_a mercy_n have_v deliver_v i_o for_o it_o be_v nothing_o to_o have_v hear_v talk_n of_o it_o nor_o that_o at_o other_o time_n i_o have_v consider_v several_a sort_n of_o torment_n though_o yet_o i_o do_v it_o not_o often_o for_o i_o like_v not_o that_o very_o well_o in_o regard_n of_o the_o fear_v it_o give_v i_o nor_o yet_o that_o the_o devil_n be_v wont_a to_o tear_v man_n in_o piece_n with_o hot_a pincer_n nor_o any_o other_o thing_n whereof_o i_o have_v read_v for_o all_z in_o fine_a be_v nothing_o if_o once_o it_o be_v compare_v to_o this_o since_o this_o be_v whole_o another_o kind_n of_o thing_n and_o the_o torment_n of_o this_o world_n compare_v with_o this_o be_v no_o more_o than_o a_o mere_a picture_n in_o comparison_n of_o the_o life_n the_o very_a burn_a which_o be_v feel_v in_o this_o world_n be_v but_o a_o very_a trifle_n in_o respect_n of_o that_o other_o for_o my_o part_n i_o remain_v astonish_v and_o amaze_v at_o it_o and_o so_o i_o be_o even_o whilst_o i_o be_o write_v these_o thing_n though_o it_o happen_v to_o i_o six_o year_n ago_o and_o it_o be_v a_o most_o real_a truth_n that_o even_o now_o in_o the_o very_a place_n where_o i_o be_o but_o think_v of_o they_o the_o natural_a heat_n of_o my_o body_n begin_v to_o fail_v i_o even_o for_o very_a fear_n not_o do_v i_o ever_o remember_v what_o pass_v then_o but_o that_o all_o my_o affliction_n and_o trouble_n and_o whatsoever_o can_v be_v suffer_v in_o this_o life_n seem_v nothing_o to_o i_o and_o so_o also_o i_o think_v it_o seem_v that_o in_o part_n we_o complain_v here_o without_o reason_n and_o therefore_o i_o say_v again_o that_o this_o be_v one_o of_o the_o great_a favour_n that_o i_o ever_o receive_v in_o my_o whole_a life_n at_o the_o hand_n of_o our_o lord_n for_o it_o favour_n have_v benefit_v i_o very_o much_o both_o towards_o the_o make_v i_o loose_v all_o fear_n and_o care_n concern_v the_o tribulation_n and_o contradiction_n of_o this_o life_n as_o also_o to_o give_v i_o strength_n towards_o the_o endure_a they_o and_o final_o to_o render_v thanks_n to_o our_o bless_a lord_n for_o deliver_v i_o as_o now_o i_o
may_v hope_v from_o those_o terrible_a and_o perpetual_a torment_n since_o that_o time_n as_o i_o be_v say_v there_o be_v nothing_o which_o seem_v not_o easy_a to_o i_o in_o comparison_n of_o one_o moment_n of_o that_o which_o be_v to_o be_v suffer_v there_o and_o i_o be_v in_o a_o very_a great_a wonder_n that_o have_v so_o often_o read_v diverse_a book_n which_o give_v i_o some_o notice_n of_o a_o part_n of_o the_o torment_n of_o hell_n i_o fear_v they_o so_o little_a and_o hold_v they_o in_o so_o small_a account_n consider_v in_o what_o case_n i_o be_v then_o and_o how_o it_o be_v possible_a for_o i_o to_o receive_v contentment_n in_o any_o such_o thing_n as_o final_o be_v to_o carry_v i_o on_o to_o so_o wretched_a a_o place_n as_o that_o be_v be_v thou_o eternal_o bless_v o_o my_o god_n for_o how_o well_o have_v thou_o make_v it_o appear_v that_o thou_o love_v i_o incomparable_o better_a than_o i_o do_v myself_o how_o often_o o_o my_o dear_a lord_n have_v thou_o deliver_v i_o from_o that_o dark_a and_o horrible_a dungeon_n and_o how_o often_o have_v i_o return_v to_o cast_v myself_o in_o thither_o again_o even_o against_o thy_o will_n from_o hence_o also_o i_o get_v a_o facility_n to_o be_v in_o very_o great_a pain_n for_o the_o many_o soul_n of_o these_o lutheran_n which_o be_v condemn_v to_o hell_n and_o especial_o because_o they_o have_v once_o be_v member_n of_o the_o holy_a catholic_a church_n by_o their_o baptism_n i_o gain_v also_o great_a impulse_n to_o do_v good_a to_o soul_n and_o real_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o to_o be_v very_o certain_a that_o for_o the_o save_n of_o any_o of_o they_o from_o so_o grievous_a and_o everlasting_a torment_n i_o can_v suffer_v many_o death_n with_o a_o very_a good_a will_n for_o i_o consider_v that_o if_o we_o see_v a_o person_n in_o this_o world_n who_o we_o love_v undergo_v any_o great_a affliction_n or_o pain_n it_o seem_v that_o even_o our_o natural_a disposition_n invite_v we_o to_o have_v compassion_n of_o the_o case_n and_o so_o much_o as_o that_o pain_n be_v great_a so_o much_o the_o more_o and_o therefore_o now_o to_o see_v a_o soul_n which_o be_v for_o ever_o to_o be_v enchain_v to_o the_o endure_v of_o that_o supreme_a affliction_n and_o misery_n of_o all_o misery_n who_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o bear_v it_o and_o what_o hart_n can_v ever_o brook_v it_o without_o strange_a trouble_n and_o since_o we_o be_v move_v here_o to_o so_o much_o compassion_n of_o man_n who_o misery_n have_v yet_o a_o term_n prefix_v and_o at_o the_o further_a they_o be_v to_o end_v with_o their_o life_n how_o shall_v we_o be_v able_a to_o get_v patience_n for_o think_v of_o the_o infinite_a torment_n of_o those_o other_o consider_v what_o a_o huge_a number_n of_o soul_n the_o devil_n be_v daily_o carry_v into_o hell_n this_o consideration_n also_o make_v i_o desire_v that_o in_o a_o business_n of_o so_o mighty_a importance_n we_o may_v not_o be_v satisfy_v with_o less_o than_o the_o do_v of_o the_o very_a uttermost_a we_o can_v on_o our_o part_n and_o that_o we_o leave_v nothing_o at_o all_o unattempted_a to_o secure_v ourselves_o by_o that_o mean_n and_o i_o humble_o beseech_v our_o bless_a lord_n to_o give_v we_o all_o his_o grace_n for_o this_o purpose_n when_o i_o consider_v that_o howsoever_o i_o be_v former_o most_o wicked_a yet_o have_v i_o some_o little_a care_n to_o ferue_v almighty_a god_n not_o yet_o do_v i_o then_o commit_v certain_a thing_n which_o be_v take_v and_o swallow_v down_o by_o the_o world_n as_o familiar_o as_o to_o turn_v the_o hand_n and_o with_o this_o i_o endure_v huge_a sickness_n and_o i_o do_v it_o with_o that_o great_a patience_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o give_v i_o for_o that_o purpose_n and_o i_o be_v also_o not_o incline_v to_o murmur_v and_o detract_v or_o to_o speak_v hardly_o of_o any_o creature_n nay_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o as_o if_o i_o scarce_o have_v power_n to_o with_o any_o body_n any_o ill_n nor_o be_v i_o covetous_a nor_o envious_a for_o any_o thing_n that_o i_o can_v ever_o remember_v at_o least_o to_o any_o such_o proportion_n as_o may_v result_v to_o the_o great_a offence_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o some_o other_o thing_n also_o there_o be_v wherein_o though_o i_o be_v very_o wicked_a i_o have_v usual_o the_o fear_n of_o almighty_a god_n before_o i_o and_o yet_o notwithstanding_o all_o this_o i_o see_v where_o the_o devil_n 471._o have_v take_v up_o and_o provide_v my_o lodging_n and_o it_o be_v true_a that_o consider_v what_o my_o fault_n have_v be_v it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o i_o yet_o deserve_v more_o punishment_n but_o howsoever_o upon_o the_o whole_a matter_n i_o declare_v that_o it_o be_v a_o most_o horrible_a torment_n and_o and_o that_o it_o be_v a_o dangerous_a thing_n that_o the_o soul_n shall_v take_v contentment_n and_o be_v at_o rest_n which_o be_v fall_v every_o minute_n into_o mortal_a sinne._n nay_o rather_o for_o the_o love_n of_o almighty_a god_n let_v we_o remove_v all_o the_o occasion_n thereof_o for_o our_o lord_n will_v help_v we_o all_o as_o he_o have_v do_v i_o and_o i_o humble_o beseech_v his_o divine_a majesty_n not_o to_o give_v over_o to_o hold_v i_o fast_o in_o his_o hand_n least_z if_o he_o do_v i_o return_v to_o fall_v for_o in_o that_o case_n i_o see_v already_o what_o be_v to_o become_v of_o i_o for_o ever_o but_o i_o beseech_v our_o b._n lord_n again_o not_o to_o suffer_v it_o even_o for_o his_o own_o mercy_n sake_n amen_n but_o now_o after_o my_o see_v all_o this_o as_o also_o many_o other_o great_a thing_n and_o secret_n which_o our_o lord_n through_o his_o own_o mercy_n be_v please_v to_o show_v i_o concern_v the_o glory_n which_o be_v design_v in_o the_o next_o life_n for_o the_o good_a and_o the_o torment_n for_o the_o wicked_a and_o i_o procure_v now_o to_o light_v upon_o some_o way_n or_o mean_n whereby_o i_o may_v do_v penance_n for_o so_o much_o ill_a as_o i_o have_v commit_v and_o may_v be_v able_a also_o to_o do_v somewhat_o towards_o the_o obtain_n of_o so_o great_a a_o good_a i_o desire_v even_o to_o fly_v out_o of_o the_o sight_n of_o mankind_n and_o now_o at_o length_n once_o for_o all_o to_o divide_v myself_o from_o the_o world_n and_o to_o part_v from_o it_o and_o my_o hart_n will_v now_o be_v quiet_a no_o long_o but_o yet_o be_v not_o that_o disquiet_n of_o i_o any_o troublesome_a kind_n of_o thing_n but_o rather_o of_o contentment_n and_o gust_n and_o it_o be_v evident_a that_o it_o come_v from_o almighty_a god_n and_o that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v give_v heat_n enough_o to_o this_o soul_n of_o i_o for_o the_o digest_v of_o other_o and_o strong_a meat_n than_o she_o have_v former_o take_v cause_n and_o now_o i_o begin_v to_o consider_v what_o i_o may_v possible_o he_o able_a to_o do_v for_o almighty_a god_n and_o the_o first_o thing_n i_o think_v be_v to_o follow_v that_o first_o call_v which_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v give_v i_o to_o lead_v a_o religious_a life_n and_o that_o by_o the_o 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the_o effect_n whensoever_o the_o soul_n have_v light_a for_o many_o time_n as_o i_o have_v say_v our_o lord_n be_v please_v that_o it_o shall_v remain_v in_o darkness_n and_o not_o see_v this_o light_n and_o therefore_o it_o be_v not_o so_o strange_a a_o business_n which_o so_o wicked_a a_o creature_n as_o myself_o may_v come_v to_o see_v on_o the_o other_o side_n it_o be_v but_o even_o now_o that_o it_o have_v happen_v to_o i_o to_o be_v eight_o day_n in_o such_o a_o case_n as_o that_o i_o seem_v neither_o to_o have_v knowledge_n of_o what_o i_o owe_v to_o almighty_a god_n not_o yet_o any_o memory_n of_o his_o favour_n but_o only_o that_o my_o soul_n be_v even_o half_o besot_v and_o estrange_v and_o employ_v upon_o i_o know_v not_o what_o nor_o how_o not_o yet_o upon_o any_o ill_a thought_n but_o i_o be_v so_o very_o untoward_a in_o respect_n of_o good_a one_o that_o i_o do_v even_o as_o it_o be_v laugh_v at_o myself_o and_o take_v a_o kind_n of_o gust_n to_o see_v the_o great_a baseness_n of_o a_o soul_n whensoever_o our_o lord_n vouchsafe_v not_o to_o be_v work_v in_o it_o but_o she_o yet_o understand_v very_o well_o that_o she_o be_v not_o without_o possess_v he_o even_o in_o this_o state_n for_o it_o be_v not_o as_o i_o have_v former_o say_v as_o it_o use_v to_o be_v in_o our_o great_a affliction_n but_o though_o we_o bring_v wood_n thither_o and_o do_v also_o all_o that_o very_o little_a which_o we_o be_v able_a to_o do_v on_o our_o part_n there_o be_v yet_o no_o such_o thing_n in_o the_o world_n as_o the_o kindle_v at_o that_o time_n of_o any_o fire_n of_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n in_o our_o heart_n and_o it_o be_v no_o small_a mercy_n of_o he_o that_o we_o can_v so_o much_o as_o find_v that_o there_o be_v any_o smoke_n for_o at_o least_o we_o know_v thereby_o that_o she_o be_v not_o dead_a and_o our_o lord_n return_v to_o kindle_v it_o again_o afterward_o but_o then_o this_o soul_n of_o we_o though_o we_o break_v our_o very_a head_n in_o blow_v and_o weary_a ourselves_o also_o otherwise_o in_o order_v and_o compose_v the_o wood_n seem_v to_o be_v in_o such_o a_o condition_n as_o that_o every_o thing_n serve_v to_o choke_v we_o the_o more_o and_o so_o i_o think_v the_o best_a of_o our_o case_n to_o be_v then_o to_o render_v ourselves_o whole_o up_o and_o to_o know_v that_o we_o be_v able_a to_o do_v nothing_o of_o ourselves_o and_o then_o to_o apply_v our_o endeavour_n to_o the_o do_v of_o some_o external_a meritorious_a thing_n yea_o and_o perhaps_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v please_v to_o take_v prayer_n from_o we_o at_o that_o time_n to_o the_o end_n that_o the_o soul_n may_v exercise_v herself_o in_o those_o other_o action_n and_o so_o understand_v at_o length_n by_o good_a experience_n how_o little_a she_o be_v able_a to_o do_v of_o herself_o but_o now_o i_o have_v this_o very_a day_n regale_v my_o soul_n with_o our_o lord_n and_o presume_v to_o complain_v to_o his_o divine_a majesty_n even_o against_o himself_o to_o this_o effect_n how_o come_v it_o to_o pass_v o_o my_o god_n that_o it_o seem_v not_o enough_o for_o thou_o to_o keep_v i_o in_o this_o miserable_a life_n and_o that_o i_o resolve_v to_o endure_v it_o all_o for_o thy_o sake_n and_o that_o i_o content_v myself_o to_o be_v where_o all_o be_v vexation_n and_o trouble_v and_o that_o i_o may_v not_o so_o much_o as_o enjoy_v even_o thou_o but_o that_o i_o must_v also_o eat_v and_o sleep_v and_o dispatch_v business_n and_o treat_v with_o every_o creature_n according_a to_o the_o occasion_n and_o that_o i_o suffer_v all_o this_o for_o the_o love_n of_o thou_o and_o now_o o_o my_o lord_n thou_o know_v that_o this_o be_v a_o extreme_a torment_n to_o my_o hart_n and_o that_o yet_o in_o those_o few_o little_a moment_n of_o time_n which_o remain_v to_o i_o for_o the_o enjoy_v thou_o thou_o yet_o be_v please_v to_o hide_v thyself_o after_o this_o manner_n from_o i_o and_o how_o can_v this_o be_v compatible_a with_o thy_o mercy_n and_o how_o can_v the_o love_n thou_o bear_v i_o permit_v it_o i_o believe_v o_o my_o dear_a lord_n that_o if_o it_o be_v a_o possible_a thing_n for_o i_o to_o hide_v myself_o from_o thou_o as_o thou_o do_v thyself_o from_o i_o i_o think_v i_o say_v and_o i_o believe_v so_o much_o of_o the_o love_n thou_o bear_v i_o as_o that_o thou_o will_v not_o endure_v it_o at_o my_o hand_n but_o thou_o be_v still_o with_o i_o and_o ever_o see_v in_o what_o case_n i_o be_o yet_o permit_v not_o long_o o_o my_o lord_n that_o this_o kind_n of_o course_n be_v hold_v but_o i_o humble_o beseech_v thou_o to_o consider_v that_o it_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o wrong_n to_o proceed_v after_o this_o manner_n with_o one_o who_o love_v thou_o so_o much_o this_o and_o the_o like_a have_v occur_v to_o i_o to_o say_v though_o yet_o i_o consider_v first_o how_o that_o place_n which_o have_v be_v provide_v for_o i_o in_o hell_n be_v appoint_v i_o after_o a_o kind_n of_o favourable_a way_n in_o comparison_n of_o what_o i_o have_v deserve_v but_o yet_o sometime_o the_o love_n i_o bear_v to_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v so_o very_o extravagant_a that_o i_o scarce_o can_v tell_v what_o i_o do_v and_o then_o with_o all_o the_o little_a understanding_n i_o have_v i_o make_v such_o complaint_n as_o these_o and_o our_o lord_n endure_v they_o all_o at_o my_o hand_n and_o therefore_o let_v so_o good_a a_o king_n as_o this_o be_v ever_o praise_v but_o now_o may_v we_o perhaps_o be_v able_a to_o approach_v any_o king_n of_o this_o world_n with_o such_o audacity_n as_o these_o and_o yet_o i_o wonder_v not_o much_o that_o we_o may_v not_o presume_v to_o talk_v after_o this_o manner_n to_o our_o earthly_a king_n who_o we_o have_v so_o much_o reason_n to_o fear_v yea_o or_o even_o to_o such_o great_a lord_n as_o be_v the_o superior_a part_n of_o the_o state_n for_o people_n now_o we_o find_v the_o world_n so_o change_v that_o our_o very_a life_n shall_v be_v long_o than_o now_o they_o be_v to_o the_o end_n that_o we_o may_v have_v time_n enough_o to_o learn_v the_o punto_n and_o new_a custom_n and_o fashion_n of_o good_a manner_n of_o the_o world_n if_o there_o be_v any_o meaning_n withal_o that_o we_o shall_v also_o have_v any_o time_n to_o spend_v in_o the_o service_n of_o almighty_a god_n for_o my_o part_n i_o even_o bless_v myself_o to_o see_v what_o happen_v for_o the_o truth_n be_v that_o even_o already_o i_o scarce_o know_v how_o to_o live_v in_o the_o world_n when_o i_o come_v to_o this_o place_n for_o now_o it_o pass_v i_o can_v assure_v you_o for_o no_o jest_n whensoever_o there_o be_v any_o little_a omission_n to_o treat_v man_n even_o with_o much_o more_o style_n and_o ceremony_n than_o they_o deserve_v but_o they_o do_v real_o so_o take_v it_o for_o a_o affront_n that_o you_o must_v forsooth_o interpret_v your_o intention_n and_o profess_v your_o desire_n to_o make_v satisfaction_n if_o there_o be_v as_o i_o be_v say_v any_o omission_n yea_o and_o i_o pray_v god_n that_o they_o will_v vouchsafe_v to_o believe_v you_o but_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o return_v to_o affirm_v that_o real_o i_o do_v not_o know_v how_o to_o live_v so_o miserable_o do_v these_o thing_n afflict_v a_o poor_a overlabour_v soul_n for_o she_o see_v that_o on_o the_o one_o side_n they_o command_v she_o to_o employ_v her_o whole_a thought_n upon_o god_n and_o that_o it_o be_v necessary_a for_o she_o to_o do_v so_o to_o the_o end_n that_o she_o may_v be_v deliver_v from_o many_o danger_n and_o on_o the_o other_o side_n she_o also_o find_v that_o it_o concern_v she_o not_o to_o loose_v a_o punto_n even_o in_o the_o puntilio_n of_o this_o world_n upon_o the_o price_n of_o not_o chance_v to_o minister_v occasion_n of_o give_v temptation_n and_o trouble_v to_o they_o who_o place_n their_o honour_n in_o these_o punto_n for_o as_o for_o i_o they_o tire_v i_o even_o outright_o and_o i_o can_v never_o be_v at_o a_o end_n of_o make_v satisfaction_n for_o it_o be_v never_o in_o my_o power_n how_o much_o soever_o i_o endeavour_v it_o to_o forbear_v the_o make_v many_o fault_n in_o this_o kind_n which_o as_o i_o say_v be_v not_o hold_v to_o be_v little_a in_o the_o account_n of_o the_o world_n and_o it_o be_v true_a that_o in_o religious_a order_n which_o in_o all_o reason_n shall_v be_v excuse_v and_o discharge_v in_o such_o kind_n as_o these_o there_o be_v real_o a_o very_a true_a discharge_n not_o yet_o that_o they_o affirm_v that_o our_o monastery_n ought_v to_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o court_n for_o good_a breed_n and_o to_o know_v what_o belong_v to_o good_a manner_n
high_a and_o abstract_a nature_n of_o the_o very_a content_n of_o the_o book_n partly_o through_o the_o great_a length_n of_o the_o period_n partly_o through_o the_o multitude_n sometime_o of_o parenthesis_n even_o in_o the_o same_o sentence_n partly_o through_o her_o forbear_n to_o use_v those_o particle_n in_o the_o begin_n of_o the_o say_a sentence_n as_o namely_o for_o but_o yet_o therefore_o and_o the_o like_a without_o which_o it_o be_v not_o always_o so_o easy_a to_o discern_v whether_o the_o discourse_n be_v either_o continue_v or_o interrupt_v or_o end_v and_o partly_o &_o cheiflie_o by_o the_o ill_a print_n and_o worse_o point_v of_o all_o the_o spanish_a copy_n which_o i_o can_v ever_o come_v to_o see_v all_o which_o i_o be_o fain_a to_o allege_v by_o way_n of_o a_o humble_a excuse_n for_o whatsoever_o error_n i_o may_v have_v involuntarilie_o commit_v in_o this_o case_n but_o howsoever_o i_o here_o present_v it_o to_o the_o glory_n of_o almighty_a god_n to_o the_o praise_n of_o this_o excellent_a saint_n and_o to_o the_o consolation_n of_o these_o child_n of_o she_o who_o be_v no_o less_o than_o a_o kind_n of_o counterpoise_n to_o the_o misery_n of_o the_o time_n wherein_o we_o live_v but_o now_o as_o soon_o as_o i_o have_v translate_v the_o work_n a_o certain_a wise_a &_o worthy_a man_n &_o my_o friend_n take_v knowledge_n of_o it_o and_o desire_v i_o by_o a_o very_a earnest_a letter_n of_o he_o to_o usher_v this_o book_n into_o the_o world_n with_o a_o preface_n of_o my_o own_o which_o may_v open_v the_o reader_n eye_n the_o more_o easy_o to_o behold_v the_o saint_n when_o she_o follow_v and_o so_o also_o to_o give_v some_o notice_n of_o her_o child_n who_o be_v follow_v she_o and_o though_o i_o allege_v my_o reason_n why_o this_o may_v be_v less_o necessary_o do_v yet_o still_o he_o urge_v i_o to_o it_o and_o so_o i_o make_v his_o will_n i_o own_o and_o accord_o shall_v speak_v a_o few_o of_o my_o thought_n i_o say_v some_o few_o of_o my_o thought_n for_o whosoever_o have_v study_v the_o person_n of_o the_o glorious_a s._n teresa_n well_o will_v find_v so_o much_o to_o say_v as_o if_o he_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o say_v all_o he_o may_v do_v well_o not_o to_o begin_v since_o it_o will_v never_o be_v in_o his_o power_n to_o make_v a_o end_n such_o a_o full_a sea_n be_v this_o excellent_a saint_n of_o all_o perfection_n which_o have_v neither_o bottom_n nor_o brim_n i_o will_v therefore_o say_v very_o little_a of_o she_o here_o and_o that_o shall_v cheiflie_o tend_v to_o let_v you_o see_v how_o high_o this_o life_n which_o be_v write_v by_o the_o saint_n herself_o be_v authorise_v and_o how_o punctuallie_o it_o deserve_v to_o be_v believe_v forasmuch_o as_o may_v any_o way_n concern_v the_o truth_n of_o the_o historical_a part_n thereof_o as_o also_o the_o excellency_n of_o the_o order_n which_o she_o both_o reform_v and_o erect_v but_o for_o the_o present_a you_o may_v first_o be_v please_v to_o consider_v that_o we_o find_v the_o 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&_o public_a resort_n to_o the_o house_n and_o a_o multitude_n of_o unnecessary_a conversation_n and_o especial_o for_o that_o they_o be_v not_o bind_v to_o continual_a clausure_n but_o have_v liberty_n to_o go_v abroad_o though_o yet_o only_o by_o leave_n of_o their_o superior_n to_o visit_v their_o parent_n and_o near_a kindred_n at_o some_o time_n she_o grow_v into_o a_o full_a resolution_n that_o if_o ever_o it_o shall_v be_v in_o her_o power_n to_o free_v herself_o from_o that_o course_n and_o to_o set_v more_o limit_v bound_n upon_o her_o way_n and_o to_o invite_v other_o also_o by_o her_o example_n to_o express_v their_o great_a desire_n to_o gain_v and_o perfect_a soul_n she_o will_v not_o fail_v to_o put_v that_o purpose_n of_o she_o in_o execution_n and_o so_o after_o the_o expire_a of_o some_o time_n &_o the_o encounter_v of_o many_o impediment_n and_o the_o overcome_v a_o world_n of_o difficulty_n she_o grow_v to_o express_v her_o love_n to_o our_o b_o lord_n but_o in_o the_o person_n of_o such_o creature_n as_o for_o who_o he_o die_v to_o such_o a_o proportion_n and_o in_o so_o high_a a_o kind_n as_o to_o project_v and_o perfect_a so_o great_a and_o hard_o a_o work_n as_o that_o perhaps_o no_o woman_n will_v be_v see_v to_o have_v ever_o procure_v and_o perform_v the_o like_a for_o to_o reform_v a_o religious_a order_n and_o to_o reduce_v it_o to_o the_o first_o strict_a institute_n be_v a_o matter_n of_o much_o more_o difficulty_n then_o to_o find_v one_o and_o for_o a_o woman_n who_o be_v of_o no_o absolute_a power_n to_o command_v to_o pass_v through_o so_o many_o impediment_n and_o to_o win_v the_o prize_n and_o to_o adorn_v even_o that_o original_a rule_n itself_o with_o so_o many_o holy_a and_o wise_a document_n and_o constitution_n of_o her_o own_o for_o the_o raise_n and_o true_a refine_n of_o spirit_n according_a to_o the_o necessity_n and_o exigence_n of_o those_o present_a most_o deprave_a time_n make_v the_o business_n become_v yet_o 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yet_o can_v not_o be_v too_o great_a a_o demonstration_n when_o i_o weigh_v how_o deep_o i_o offend_v thou_o afterward_o now_o i_o think_v that_o i_o have_v reason_n before_o in_o not_o desire_v so_o great_a a_o dignity_n as_o this_o consider_v how_o ill_o i_o be_v like_a to_o employ_v it_o but_o thou_o o_o my_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o permit_v that_o i_o may_v use_v this_o favour_n so_o ill_o twenty_o year_n together_o and_o will_v content_v thyself_o to_o be_v the_o person_n affront_v that_o i_o may_v be_v the_o person_n improve_v for_o it_o seem_v not_o to_o i_o now_o o_o my_o god_n that_o i_o make_v thou_o any_o promise_n of_o any_o thing_n but_o only_o that_o i_o will_v keep_v no_o promise_n which_o i_o have_v make_v thou_o though_o yet_o my_o intention_n be_v not_o such_o at_o that_o time_n and_o yet_o i_o find_v my_o action_n to_o have_v grow_v afterward_o to_o be_v such_o that_o i_o may_v very_o well_o think_v i_o scarce_o know_v what_o kind_n of_o intention_n i_o have_v and_o thus_o it_o may_v the_o better_o be_v see_v who_o thou_o be_v o_o my_o spouse_n and_o my_o god_n and_o who_o i_o be_o for_o it_o be_v real_o a_o express_a truth_n that_o the_o grief_n for_o my_o very_a great_a sin_n be_v temper_v in_o i_o many_o time_n by_o the_o contentment_n which_o this_o consideration_n give_v i_o that_o my_o sinnefulnes_n may_v prove_v a_o mean_n to_o make_v the_o multitude_n of_o thy_o mercy_n be_v understand_v for_o in_o who_o o_o lord_n can_v they_o ever_o shine_v so_o bright_o as_o in_o i_o who_o have_v by_o my_o wicked_a action_n so_o obscure_v those_o great_a favour_n which_o thou_o begin_v to_o do_v i_o ah_o woe_n be_v i_o o_o my_o creator_n for_o if_o i_o look_v for_o any_o excuse_n i_o can_v find_v none_o nor_o have_v any_o creature_n the_o fault_n of_o it_o but_o only_o myself_o and_o if_o i_o will_v pretend_v to_o pay_v thou_o any_o thing_n for_o the_o least_o part_n of_o that_o love_n which_o thou_o begin_v to_o show_v i_o i_o shall_v not_o 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of_o discourse_v with_o my_o understanding_n nor_o to_o help_v myself_o by_o the_o use_n of_o my_o imagination_n which_o i_o have_v so_o heavy_a and_o gross_a that_o even_o to_o think_v and_o represent_v within_o myself_o so_o much_o as_o the_o humanity_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n which_o i_o endeavour_v to_o do_v be_v yet_o more_o than_o i_o can_v possible_o perform_v and_o howsoever_o by_o this_o way_n of_o not_o be_v able_a to_o employ_v and_o set_v the_o understanding_n on_o work_n in_o the_o way_n of_o discourse_n man_n may_v soon_o arrive_v to_o contemplation_n if_o they_o persevere_v therein_o yet_o be_v it_o very_o troublesome_a and_o painful_a because_o if_o the_o employment_n of_o the_o will_n do_v fail_v so_o far_o of_o obtain_v the_o true_a end_n as_o that_o their_o love_n find_v no_o present_a object_n to_o embrace_v the_o soul_n be_v leave_v as_o it_o be_v without_o any_o exercise_n and_o rest_n at_o all_o and_o that_o kind_a of_o solitude_n and_o dryness_n give_v much_o 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better_v and_o perfect_v they_o and_o give_v they_o worth_a and_o my_o sin_n and_o misery_n he_o will_v instant_o hide_v yea_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v permit_v that_o even_o the_o eye_n of_o such_o as_o see_v they_o shall_v be_v blind_v and_o their_o memory_n fail_v when_o they_o will_v remember_v they_o he_o even_o guild_v our_o fault_n and_o make_v that_o virtue_n shine_v bright_a which_o he_o the_o same_o lord_n convey_v into_o i_o and_o wherein_o he_o offer_v i_o even_o a_o kind_n of_o violence_n that_o i_o may_v receive_v it_o but_o i_o will_v now_o return_v to_o speak_v of_o those_o thing_n which_o they_o have_v command_v i_o to_o declare_v and_o i_o say_v that_o if_o i_o be_v to_o set_v forth_o after_o a_o particular_a manner_n in_o what_o sort_n our_o lord_n proceed_v with_o i_o in_o these_o beginning_n i_o shall_v need_v another_o manner_n of_o understanding_n than_o my_o own_o to_o perform_v all_o that_o with_o advantage_n for_o which_o i_o be_o oblige_v to_o he_o 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through_o the_o contentment_n which_o i_o have_v to_o be_v a_o religious_a woman_n when_o they_o observe_v i_o to_o love_v solitude_n so_o well_o and_o see_v i_o shed_v tear_n sometime_o which_o yet_o indeed_o be_v for_o my_o sin_n they_o think_v yea_o and_o they_o say_v that_o it_o grow_v but_o from_o some_o inward_a melancholy_n and_o disgust_v for_o my_o part_n i_o have_v a_o good_a inclination_n to_o all_o the_o observance_n of_o a_o religious_a life_n save_v only_o that_o i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o endure_v any_o thing_n which_o may_v carry_v so_o much_o as_o a_o appearance_n of_o contempt_n with_o it_o for_o i_o delight_v in_o be_v esteem_v
i_o to_o see_v a_o soul_n so_o pertinacious_a and_o so_o ungrateful_a towards_o he_o who_o have_v vouchsafe_v it_o so_o great_a favour_n and_o i_o wish_v i_o can_v get_v leave_n to_o declare_v that_o multitude_n of_o time_n that_o i_o fail_v of_o my_o obligation_n to_o almighty_a god_n in_o this_o number_n of_o year_n by_o reason_n that_o i_o be_v not_o apply_v to_o and_o support_v by_o the_o strong_a pillar_n of_o prayer_n i_o pass_v through_o this_o tempestuous_a sea_n almost_o twenty_o year_n between_o these_o fall_n and_o rise_n though_o i_o rise_v ilfavourd_o enough_o since_o i_o return_v again_o so_o quick_o to_o fall_v in_o this_o kind_n of_o life_n tend_v towards_o perfection_n but_o yet_o in_o so_o base_a a_o way_n as_o that_o i_o make_v no_o account_n at_o all_o of_o venial_a danger_n sin_n and_o for_o such_o as_o be_v mortal_a it_o be_v true_a that_o although_o i_o fear_v they_o yet_o i_o do_v not_o even_o that_o as_o i_o ought_v since_o i_o absent_v not_o myself_o from_o 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man_n have_v write_v of_o the_o benefit_n which_o he_o obtain_v who_o exercise_v himself_o in_o prayer_n i_o mean_v mental_a prayer_n and_o glory_n be_v to_o almighty_a god_n for_o be_v the_o cause_n thereof_o and_o yet_o if_o that_o be_v not_o true_a though_o i_o have_v little_a humility_n yet_o be_o i_o not_o withal_o so_o insolent_a as_o that_o i_o will_v presume_v to_o speak_v upon_o this_o subject_n but_o of_o that_o whereof_o i_o have_v some_o experience_n i_o may_v vet_n presume_v to_o say_v somewhat_o and_o it_o be_v this_o that_o whosoever_o have_v begin_v to_o frequent_v the_o use_n of_o prayer_n i_o wish_v he_o not_o to_o give_v it_o over_o whatsoever_o sin_n he_o commit_v in_o the_o mean_a time_n since_o this_o be_v the_o mean_n by_o which_o he_o may_v recover_v himself_o again_o which_o he_o will_v find_v to_o be_v of_o much_o more_o difficulty_n without_o it_o and_o let_v not_o the_o devil_n tempt_v he_o to_o leave_v it_o as_o he_o do_v i_o upon_o a_o pretence_n of_o humility_n but_o let_v he_o firm_o believe_v that_o his_o word_n can_v never_o want_v truth_n who_o say_v that_o if_o we_o will_v repent_v ourselves_o in_o good_a earnest_n and_o resolve_v to_o offend_v the_o divine_a majesty_n no_o more_o he_o restore_v we_o to_o the_o same_o friendship_n which_o we_o have_v before_o with_o he_o and_o do_v we_o the_o same_o favour_n which_o he_o do_v we_o before_o and_o sometime_o they_o prove_v to_o be_v much_o great_a if_o the_o repentance_n deserve_v it_o and_o whosoever_o have_v not_o yet_o begin_v this_o exercise_n i_o beseech_v he_o for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n that_o he_o will_v no_o long_o deprive_v himself_o of_o so_o great_a a_o benefit_n there_o be_v nothing_o to_o be_v fear_v here_o but_o much_o to_o be_v desire_v for_o though_o a_o man_n shall_v not_o proceed_v so_o far_o as_o to_o strive_v to_o gain_v such_o perfection_n as_o may_v prepare_v and_o as_o it_o be_v deserve_v those_o gust_n and_o regalo_n which_o god_n be_v wont_a to_o give_v to_o such_o person_n yet_o the_o least_o which_o he_o shall_v get_v will_v be_v that_o he_o shall_v be_v go_v on_o in_o the_o way_n to_o heaven_n and_o i_o know_v so_o much_o of_o the_o mercy_n of_o almighty_a god_n that_o i_o may_v conclude_v for_o certain_a enough_o that_o no_o body_n ever_o take_v he_o for_o a_o friend_n who_o he_o do_v not_o well_o requite_v for_o his_o pain_n for_o mental_a prayer_n be_v no_o other_o thing_n in_o my_o opinion_n than_o a_o treaty_n about_o make_v friendship_n with_o almighty_a god_n and_o a_o frequent_a and_o private_a commerce_n hand_n to_o hand_n with_o he_o by_o
who_o we_o know_v we_o be_v belove_v and_o as_o for_o you_o if_o you_o love_v he_o not_o yet_o for_o to_o the_o end_n that_o it_o may_v be_v a_o true_a love_n and_o that_o your_o friendship_n may_v last_v the_o condition_n must_v be_v reciprocal_a and_o we_o know_v there_o can_v be_v no_o want_n on_o our_o lord_n behalf_n and_o that_o our_o nature_n be_v vicious_a sensual_a and_o ungrateful_a and_o so_o we_o can_v perhaps_o obtain_v full_o at_o our_o own_o hand_n to_o love_v he_o so_o much_o because_o he_o be_v not_o of_o the_o same_o condition_n with_o we_o yet_o consider_v how_o much_o it_o import_v we_o to_o hold_v friendship_n with_o he_o and_o how_o much_o he_o love_v we_o we_o must_v pass_v on_o and_o pass_v over_o this_o pain_n of_o be_v much_o in_o his_o company_n who_o be_v of_o so_o different_a a_o condition_n from_o we_o o_o infinite_a goodness_n of_o my_o god_n how_o true_a it_o be_v that_o i_o think_v i_o see_v both_o thou_o and_o myself_o in_o this_o very_a manner_n o_o thou_o who_o be_v the_o very_a regalo_n of_o the_o angel_n in_o heaven_n how_o fain_o will_v i_o even_o defeat_v and_o dissolve_v myself_o total_o in_o love_v thou_o when_o i_o see_v and_o consider_v these_o thing_n and_o how_o certain_a a_o thing_n it_o be_v that_o thou_o be_v on_o the_o suffer_a hand_n in_o regard_n of_o such_o as_o will_v not_o suffer_v thou_o to_o remain_v with_o they_o o_o how_o good_a a_o friend_n do_v thou_o make_v thyself_o to_o thy_o friend_n o_o my_o lord_n and_o how_o do_v thou_o go_v endure_v he_o and_o regal_v he_o and_o thou_o expect_v till_o he_o make_v himself_o grow_v to_o be_v of_o thy_o condition_n and_o inclination_n and_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n thou_o endure_v and_o permit_v he_o to_o continue_v to_o be_v a_o while_n of_o his_o own_o and_o thou_o take_v o_o my_o dear_a lord_n by_o way_n of_o good_a payment_n those_o fit_n of_o time_n which_o he_o can_v be_v content_a to_o bestow_v upon_o thou_o and_o upon_o a_o minute_n of_o true_a sorrow_n and_o 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i_o be_v wont_a to_o do_v and_o for_o recompense_n of_o this_o violence_n which_o they_o use_v to_o make_v against_o themselves_o by_o continue_v in_o so_o good_a company_n as_o thou_o for_o neither_o in_o those_o very_a beginning_n no_o nor_o even_o afterward_o also_o for_o a_o while_n can_v they_o tell_v how_o to_o do_v better_o thou_o force_v o_o lord_n the_o devil_n of_o hell_n to_o forbear_v a_o set_v fierce_o upon_o they_o and_o permit_v they_o to_o have_v daily_o less_o power_n than_o other_o against_o they_o yea_o and_o thou_o put_v they_o into_o man_n hand_n that_o they_o may_v overcome_v they_o so_o that_o thou_o o_o thou_o life_n of_o all_o life_n do_v never_o kill_v any_o one_o of_o those_o creature_n who_o put_v his_o confidence_n in_o thou_o nor_o of_o they_o who_o desire_v thou_o for_o a_o friend_n but_o thou_o sustain_v both_o the_o life_n of_o their_o body_n with_o increase_n of_o health_n and_o thou_o also_o do_v impart_v it_o to_o the_o soul_n for_o my_o part_n i_o can_v possible_o understand_v why_o man_n shall_v fear_v as_o they_o do_v to_o begin_v to_o use_v mental_a prayer_n nor_o of_o what_o it_o be_v in_o fine_a that_o they_o be_v afraid_a the_o devil_n indeed_o do_v not_o ill_a in_o order_n to_o his_o own_o wicked_a end_n to_o procure_v to_o do_v i_o hurt_v if_o by_o pretence_n and_o mean_n of_o i_o know_v not_o what_o fear_n he_o can_v procure_v to_o make_v i_o forbear_v a_o consider_v how_o much_o and_o how_o high_o i_o have_v offend_v almighty_a god_n and_o how_o much_o i_o be_o oblige_v to_o he_o for_o his_o great_a mercy_n and_o benefit_n and_o to_o think_v upon_o this_o truth_n that_o there_o be_v such_o a_o thing_n as_o glory_v in_o heaven_n and_o torment_n in_o hell_n and_o upon_o those_o great_a affliction_n and_o sorrow_n which_o our_o lord_n endure_v for_o i_o in_o this_o life_n for_o this_o be_v still_o my_o prayer_n when_o i_o be_v continue_v in_o all_o those_o danger_n and_o upon_o this_o do_v i_o think_v whensoever_o i_o be_v able_a and_o very_o often_o yea_o and_o for_o some_o year_n together_o i_o be_v busy_a about_o desire_v that_o the_o hour_n may_v come_v quick_o to_o a_o end_n still_o listen_v when_o the_o clock_n will_v strike_v then_o upon_o better_a thing_n yea_o and_o it_o happen_v to_o i_o many_o time_n that_o i_o know_v not_o what_o penance_n can_v be_v set_v before_o i_o so_o very_o great_a as_o that_o i_o will_v not_o more_o willing_o undergo_v it_o then_o recollect_v myself_o to_o mental_a prayer_n and_o it_o be_v certain_a that_o either_o the_o devil_n do_v set_v upon_o i_o with_o such_o a_o un-resistable_a force_n or_o else_o my_o own_o wicked_a custom_n do_v it_o that_o i_o may_v not_o go_v make_v mental_a prayer_n and_o the_o sadness_n of_o my_o hart_n be_v such_o even_o when_o i_o enter_v into_o my_o oratory_n for_o that_o purpose_n that_o i_o be_v fain_o to_o help_v and_o serve_v myself_o of_o all_o the_o strength_n and_o courage_n i_o have_v which_o they_o say_v be_v not_o very_o little_a and_o it_o have_v be_v see_v that_o god_n have_v give_v i_o more_o then_o be_v usual_o possess_v by_o woman_n but_o that_o i_o have_v employ_v it_o ill_o to_o force_v myself_o to_o make_v my_o prayer_n and_o in_o fine_a it_o please_v our_o lord_n to_o assist_v i_o but_o afterward_o when_o i_o have_v use_v these_o violence_n to_o my_o hart_n i_o find_v myself_o with_o more_o quiet_a &_o delight_n so_o that_o sometime_o i_o grow_v to_o have_v a_o express_a desire_n to_o pray_v now_o therefore_o since_o it_o chance_v that_o our_o lord_n do_v suffer_v and_o endure_v so_o wicked_a a_o creature_n as_o myself_o and_o if_o it_o appear_v plain_o that_o all_o my_o misery_n be_v redress_v by_o this_o mean_n what_o person_n how_o wicked_a soever_o he_o may_v be_v can_v find_v any_o thing_n to_o be_v afraid_a of_o here_o for_o how_o wicked_a soever_o any_o other_o body_n may_v have_v be_v he_o will_v never_o be_v so_o yet_o after_o the_o enjoy_n of_o so_o great_a favour_n from_o our_o b._n lord_n as_o i_o have_v receive_v and_o who_o can_v ever_o come_v to_o disconfide_a in_o his_o divine_a majesty_n who_o have_v patience_n with_o i_o so_o long_o upon_o this_o only_o reason_n because_o i_o desire_v and_o procure_v some_o mean_n for_o time_n and_o place_n wherein_o he_o may_v be_v with_o i_o and_o even_o this_o little_a thing_n i_o do_v often_o without_o any_o inclination_n of_o my_o own_o but_o only_o by_o the_o great_a violence_n which_o either_o i_o offer_v to_o myself_o or_o else_o be_v offer_v to_o i_o by_o our_o lord_n since_o praemise_n therefore_o the_o use_n of_o mental_a prayer_n be_v so_o fit_a yea_o and_o so_o very_o necessary_a even_o for_o such_o as_o serve_v not_o god_n but_o offend_v he_o and_o since_o no_o body_n can_v true_o find_v any_o such_o hurt_n which_o it_o can_v possible_o do_v as_o will_v not_o be_v much_o great_a without_o prayer_n at_o least_o how_o can_v such_o forbear_v it_o as_o serve_v almighty_a god_n and_o desire_v to_o serve_v he_o most_o certain_o unless_o a_o man_n have_v a_o mind_n to_o pass_v through_o the_o trouble_n &_o misery_n of_o this_o life_n with_o a_o addition_n of_o more_o misery_n and_o to_o shut_v up_o the_o very_a gate_n against_o god_n himself_o for_o fear_n lest_o he_o shall_v give_v he_o comfort_n by_o this_o mean_n i_o can_v possible_o understand_v this_o proceed_n of_o he_o i_o have_v real_o great_a compassion_n and_o sorrow_n for_o those_o poor_a soul_n who_o will_v needs_o serve_v almighty_a god_n upon_o their_o own_o cost_n for_o as_o for_o they_o who_o use_v mental_a prayer_n
our_o lord_n himself_o bear_v their_o charge_n since_o for_o the_o little_a pain_n they_o take_v he_o give_v they_o so_o much_o gust_n that_o so_o they_o may_v the_o better_o be_v able_a to_o endure_v the_o take_n of_o that_o pain_n in_o his_o company_n of_o these_o gust_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o give_v to_o such_o as_o persevere_v in_o the_o exercise_n of_o mental_a prayer_n there_o shall_v be_v more_o discourse_n hereafter_o and_o i_o will_v not_o make_v it_o here_o only_o this_o i_o will_v be_v bold_a to_o say_v that_o of_o all_o those_o so_o great_a favour_n which_o it_o ever_o please_v our_o lord_n to_o do_v i_o the_o very_a gate_n be_v prayer_n and_o if_o that_o come_v once_o to_o be_v shut_v i_o know_v not_o how_o god_n shall_v do_v we_o favour_n for_o though_o he_o shall_v have_v a_o mind_n to_o enter_v into_o a_o soul_n to_o regale_n both_o it_o and_o himself_o in_o it_o there_o be_v no_o mean_n by_o which_o to_o do_v it_o since_o he_o must_v have_v it_o all_o to_o himself_o and_o it_o must_v be_v clean_o and_o pure_a and_o it_o must_v also_o have_v a_o great_a desire_n to_o receive_v favour_n and_o if_o ourselves_o on_o the_o other_o side_n bring_v many_o impediment_n and_o take_v no_o course_n to_o remove_v they_o how_o shall_v we_o ever_o think_v he_o can_v come_v to_o we_o and_o how_o can_v we_o conceive_v that_o he_o will_v help_v we_o now_o to_o the_o end_n that_o his_o mercy_n may_v be_v see_v and_o the_o great_a benefit_n which_o it_o be_v for_o i_o not_o to_o have_v give_v over_o my_o pray_v and_o read_v i_o will_v here_o declare_v since_o the_o understanding_n of_o it_o import_v so_o much_o what_o battery_n the_o devil_n raise_v against_o a_o soul_n to_o gain_v it_o and_o what_o diligence_n and_o as_o it_o be_v art_n and_o mercy_n be_v use_v by_o b._n lord_n for_o procure_v to_o reduce_v it_o to_o himself_o that_o so_o other_o may_v preserve_v themselves_o from_o those_o danger_n from_o which_o i_o keep_v not_o myself_o and_o above_o all_o thing_n i_o humble_o desire_v man_n for_o that_o great_a love_n wherewith_o our_o lord_n go_v endeavour_v to_o win_v we_o back_o again_o to_o himself_o that_o they_o will_v keep_v themselves_o careful_o out_o of_o the_o this_o occasion_n of_o sin_n for_o when_o once_o we_o be_v engage_v therein_o there_o be_v no_o trust_n or_o confidence_n to_o be_v have_v where_o we_o be_v encounter_v and_o assault_v by_o so_o many_o enemy_n whilst_o we_o the_o while_n be_v subject_a to_o such_o weakness_n which_o disable_v we_o to_o make_v any_o defence_n i_o will_v fain_o be_v able_a here_o to_o make_v a_o draught_n and_o description_n of_o that_o captivity_n wherein_o my_o soul_n be_v at_o those_o time_n for_o i_o well_o understand_v myself_o to_o be_v in_o captivity_n and_o yet_o i_o can_v not_o tell_v very_o well_o to_o what_o i_o whas_fw-ge a_o slave_n nor_o can_v i_o entire_o believe_v that_o that_o which_o my_o confessor_n think_v fit_a to_o aggravate_v no_o more_o be_v so_o 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help_n it_o get_v from_o any_o but_o almighty_a god_n beside_o the_o great_a facility_n and_o owerture_n which_o they_o make_v for_o i_o towards_o certain_a pastime_n and_o contentment_n by_o make_v i_o believe_v that_o they_o be_v lawful_a but_o now_o the_o torment_n also_o which_o i_o have_v by_o hear_v sermon_n be_v not_o little_a for_o i_o have_v a_o great_a affection_n to_o hear_v they_o in_o such_o sort_n that_o if_o i_o see_v any_o man_n preach_v with_o spirit_n &_o very_o well_o i_o carry_v a_o most_o particular_a affection_n to_o he_o and_o that_o without_o any_o endeavour_n of_o i_o nor_o do_v i_o know_v how_o i_o come_v to_o have_v it_o i_o thought_n no_o sermon_n seem_v so_o ill_o to_o i_o which_o i_o can_v not_o glad_o hear_v though_o other_o will_v be_v of_o opinion_n that_o he_o preach_v not_o well_o but_o then_o if_o the_o sermon_n be_v good_a it_o give_v i_o a_o very_a particular_a satisfaction_n to_o speak_v of_o god_n or_o hear_v he_o speak_v of_o do_v in_o effect_n never_o weary_v i_o i_o mean_v after_o i_o have_v once_o begin_v to_o use_v mental_a prayer_n yet_o on_o the_o one_o side_n i_o be_v much_o comfort_v with_o hear_v sermon_n but_o on_o the_o other_o side_n they_o torment_v i_o because_o i_o understand_v thereby_o that_o i_o be_v not_o by_o many_o degree_n any_o such_o creature_n as_o i_o ought_v to_o have_v be_v i_o humble_o beg_v of_o our_o b._n lord_n that_o he_o will_v help_v i_o but_o i_o believe_v by_o what_o i_o can_v now_o conjecture_v that_o i_o be_v want_v in_o the_o point_n of_o place_v all_o my_o confidence_n in_o his_o divine_a majesty_n and_o importance_n total_o disconfide_v in_o myself_o i_o seek_v for_o remedy_n and_o i_o use_v many_o diligence_n but_o i_o understand_v not_o that_o all_o be_v good_a for_o nothing_o unless_o first_o we_o strip_v ourselves_o entire_o of_o all_o confidence_n in_o ourselves_o and_o lodge_v it_o all_o upon_o almighty_a god_n i_o desire_v to_o live_v a_o true_a life_n for_o than_o i_o understand_v well_o enough_o that_o indeed_o i_o do_v not_o live_v but_o that_o i_o fight_v with_o the_o very_a shadow_n of_o death_n but_o there_o be_v no_o body_n who_o will_v give_v i_o life_n and_o as_o for_o i_o i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o take_v it_o and_o he_o who_o be_v only_o able_a to_o give_v it_o have_v no_o reason_n to_o bring_v i_o succour_v since_o he_o have_v draw_v i_o to_o himself_o so_o very_o often_o i_o have_v yet_o forsake_v he_o the_o nine_o chapter_n she_o declare_v by_o what_o mean_v our_o lord_n begin_v to_o awake_a her_o soul_n and_o give_v her_o light_n in_o so_o great_a darkness_n and_o to_o strengthen_v also_o her_o virtue_n that_o so_o she_o may_v offend_v he_o no_o more_o but_o now_o my_o soul_n be_v already_o grow_v to_o be_v very_o weary_a and_o yet_o the_o ill_a habit_n which_o i_o have_v make_v &_o the_o ill_a custom_n which_o i_o have_v use_v will_v not_o permit_v she_o to_o be_v unwearied_a and_o take_v rest_n it_o happen_v to_o i_o one_o day_n upon_o my_o go_v into_o the_o oratory_n that_o i_o see_v a_o picture_n which_o have_v be_v bring_v in_o thither_o to_o be_v keep_v for_o they_o have_v borrow_v it_o to_o serve_v for_o a_o certain_a festivitie_n which_o be_v to_o be_v celebrate_v in_o the_o house_n about_o that_o time_n the_o picture_n be_v of_o christ_n our_o lord_n full_a of_o wound_n &_o sore_n and_o it_o be_v so_o devout_o make_v that_o when_o i_o look_v upon_o it_o it_o move_v i_o much_o for_o it_o represent_v very_o well_o what_o he_o have_v endure_v for_o us._n and_o the_o sense_n of_o the_o little_a gratitude_n to_o our_o lord_n which_o i_o have_v conceive_v and_o express_v for_o those_o wound_n of_o he_o be_v such_o that_o i_o think_v my_o very_a hart_n do_v even_o splitt_v and_o i_o cast_v myself_o earnest_o down_o near_o the_o picture_n with_o a_o great_a shower_n of_o tear_n beseech_v our_o lord_n humble_o and_o earnest_o that_o he_o will_v strengthen_v i_o so_o far_o once_o for_o all_o as_o that_o at_o length_n i_o may_v offend_v he_o no_o more_o i_o be_v beside_o very_o much_o devote_a to_o the_o glorious_a s._n marie_n magdalen_n and_o i_o think_v much_o and_o often_o of_o her_o conversion_n and_o especial_o whensoever_o i_o receive_v the_o b._n sacrament_n for_o know_v at_o that_o time_n that_o our_o lord_n be_v most_o certain_o in_o my_o very_a bosom_n i_o place_v myself_o at_o his_o foot_n as_o conceave_a that_o my_o tear_n will_v not_o be_v despise_v by_o he_o i_o know_v not_o very_o well_o what_o i_o say_v but_o yet_o i_o know_v that_o he_o who_o be_v please_v
what_o i_o be_v before_o and_o this_o do_v i_o entreat_v your_o reverence_n that_o you_o will_v beg_v of_o our_o b._n lord_n for_o i_o since_o you_o know_v with_o more_o clearness_n what_o i_o be_o than_o here_o you_o have_v give_v i_o leave_v to_o express_v the_o eleaventh_n chapter_n she_o declare_v in_o what_o the_o fault_n consist_v of_o not_o obtain_v to_o love_n god_n with_o perfection_n in_o short_a time_n she_o begin_v to_o deliver_v it_o by_o a_o comparison_n which_o contain_v four_o degree_n of_o prayer_n and_o she_o treat_v here_o of_o the_o first_o which_o be_v very_o profitable_a for_o beginner_n and_o for_o they_o also_o who_o have_v no_o sensible_a delight_n or_o gust_n in_o prayer_n now_o to_o speak_v of_o they_o who_o begin_v to_o be_v servant_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n for_o love_n and_o to_o i_o it_o seem_v to_o be_v nothing_o else_o to_o resolve_v to_o follow_v he_o by_o this_o way_n of_o prayer_n who_o love_v we_o so_o much_o i_o find_v it_o to_o be_v a_o thing_n of_o so_o great_a dignity_n that_o i_o regale_n myself_o after_o a_o strange_a manner_n even_o by_o the_o very_a thought_n thereof_o for_o servile_a fear_n will_v instant_o fly_v away_o if_o we_o carry_v ourselves_o as_o we_o ought_v in_o this_o first_o degree_n of_o prayer_n o_o thou_o lord_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o my_o eternal_a good_a how_o come_v it_o to_o pass_v that_o when_o a_o soul_n resolve_v to_o love_v thou_o and_o to_o do_v the_o uttermost_a she_o can_v to_o leave_v all_o this_o world_n that_o so_o she_o may_v the_o better_o employ_v herself_o upon_o this_o love_n of_o thou_o thou_o be_v not_o please_v that_o she_o shall_v instant_o enjoy_v the_o get_n up_o to_o possess_v this_o perfect_a love_n but_o i_o have_v say_v ill_o for_o i_o ought_v indeed_o to_o have_v say_v that_o i_o complain_v against_o ourselves_o because_o it_o be_v we_o who_o will_v not_o possess_v it_o since_o all_o the_o fault_n be_v we_o for_o not_o instant_o obtain_v this_o true_a love_n of_o god_n with_o perfection_n which_o carry_v all_o kind_n of_o blessing_n in_o company_n thereof_o for_o the_o matter_n be_v that_o we_o set_v so_o high_a a_o price_n upon_o ourselves_o and_o we_o be_v withal_o so_o slow_a in_o give_v our_o heart_n impediment_n total_o to_o god_n that_o as_o his_o divine_a majesty_n on_o the_o one_o side_n will_v not_o permit_v that_o we_o shall_v enjoy_v so_o precious_a a_o thing_n without_o pay_v well_o for_o it_o so_o on_o the_o other_o we_o never_o make_v a_o end_n of_o dispose_v ourselves_o therein_o as_o we_o ought_v i_o be_o able_a to_o see_v well_o enough_o that_o there_o be_v nothing_o at_o all_o in_o this_o world_n with_o which_o so_o great_a a_o treasure_n can_v be_v buy_v but_o yet_o if_o we_o do_v indeed_o what_o we_o can_v by_o not_o fasten_v ourselves_o to_o any_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n but_o that_o all_o our_o care_n and_o consideration_n be_v sent-up_a to_o heaven_n i_o be_o confident_a that_o this_o blessing_n will_v be_v impart_v to_o we_o with_o very_o great_a speed_n if_o speedy_o and_o entire_o as_o i_o be_v say_v we_o dispose_v ourselves_o to_o the_o receive_v thereof_o as_o some_o saint_n have_v do_v but_o the_o misery_n be_v that_o we_o think_v we_o give_v god_n all_o and_o the_o truth_n be_v that_o we_o offer_v his_o divine_a majesty_n but_o the_o yearly_a rent_n or_o revenue_n and_o fruit_n ourselves_o remain_v still_o with_o the_o root_n and_o possession_n of_o the_o land_n we_o resolve_v to_o make_v ourselves_o poor_a for_o god_n sake_n and_o it_o be_v a_o point_n of_o great_a merit_n to_o do_v so_o but_o yet_o we_o return_v many_o time_n to_o take_v care_n and_o to_o use_v diligence_n enough_o that_o nothing_o may_v be_v want_v to_o we_o i_o say_v not_o of_o that_o which_o be_v necessary_a but_o sometime_o also_o even_o of_o that_o which_o be_v superfluous_a and_o to_o be_v procure_v also_o to_o make_v friend_n who_o may_v help_v we_o to_o it_o and_o so_o put_v we_o still_o into_o more_o care_n yea_o &_o perhaps_o into_o more_o danger_n too_o that_o so_o we_o may_v grow_v to_o want_v nothing_o then_o even_o we_o have_v before_o when_o we_o be_v the_o possessor_n of_o our_o own_o estate_n it_o seem_v also_o that_o when_o we_o come_v to_o be_v religious_a or_o as_o soon_o as_o we_o begin_v to_o lead_v a_o spiritual_a life_n and_o to_o aspire_v towards_o perfection_n we_o gave-ove_a to_o care_v for_o the_o honour_n of_o this_o world_n and_o yet_o as_o soon_o as_o ever_o any_o creature_n begin_v but_o to_o touch_v we_o in_o that_o kind_n we_o forget_v that_o we_o have_v already_o give_v it_o away_o to_o almighty_a god_n and_o we_o resolve_v sometime_o to_o snatch_v it_o again_o out_o of_o his_o hand_n and_o run_v away_o with_o it_o even_o after_o we_o seem_v to_o have_v voluntary_o make_v he_o the_o entire_a lord_n thereof_o and_o just_o thus_o do_v it_o also_o happen_v sometime_o in_o other_o thing_n now_o this_o indeed_o be_v a_o very_a delicate_a fine_a foolish_a ridiculous_a way_n of_o seek_v the_o love_n of_o almighty_a god_n when_o together_o with_o this_o pretence_n we_o will_v as_o a_o man_n may_v say_v have_v our_o hand_n still_o full_a of_o the_o same_o imperfect_a inclination_n and_o affection_n which_o we_o have_v before_o since_o we_o do_v not_o procure_v indeed_o to_o effect_v our_o own_o former_a good_a desire_n and_o still_o we_o endeavour_v not_o at_o length_n to_o raise_v they_o whole_o up_o from_o the_o earth_n and_o yet_o we_o will_v needs_o expect_v the_o while_n to_o enjoy_v many_o spiritual_a comfort_n and_o delight_n but_o this_o seem_v not_o to_o be_v of_o a_o suit_n nor_o do_v the_o one_o stuffe_n sit_v well_o with_o the_o other_o and_o therefore_o because_o we_o will_v not_o once_o resolve_v to_o give_v ourselves_o total_o up_o to_o almighty_a god_n we_o come_v not_o total_o to_o enjoy_v this_o treasure_n and_o i_o pray_v god_n it_o may_v please_v his_o divine_a majesty_n to_o vouchsafe_v to_o grant_v it_o to_o we_o though_o it_o shall_v be_v but_o by_o drop_n and_o drop_n and_o though_o it_o shall_v grow_v to_o cost_v we_o all_o the_o labour_n and_o trouble_n of_o the_o whole_a world_n a_o very_a great_a deal_n of_o mercy_n do_v our_o bless_a lord_n show_v to_o that_o person_n to_o who_o he_o give_v the_o firm_a purpose_n and_o grace_n to_o resolve_v upon_o procure_v this_o blessing_n with_o all_o his_o power_n for_o certain_o if_o such_o a_o one_o shall_v persevere_v almighty_a god_n will_v deny_v himself_o to_o no_o creature_n but_o will_v by_o little_a and_o little_a go_v enable_v that_o soul_n in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o at_o length_n it_o shall_v find_v itself_o to_o be_v victorious_a but_o i_o say_v that_o the_o party_n must_v have_v courage_n because_o the_o devil_n do_v ordinary_o in_o the_o beginning_n dispose_v himself_o to_o represent_v yea_o and_o frame_v very_o great_a difficulty_n to_o the_o end_n that_o so_o we_o may_v not_o hold-on_a this_o way_n in_o good_a earnest_n as_o one_o who_o know_v very_o well_o what_o prejudice_n be_v like_a to_o grow_v to_o he_o by_o it_o not_o only_o through_o his_o lose_v the_o soul_n of_o that_o party_n but_o of_o many_o other_o also_o if_o he_o who_o begin_v to_o serve_v god_n endeavour_v once_o by_o his_o favour_n to_o arrive_v to_o the_o perfection_n thereof_o for_o i_o believe_v that_o such_o a_o one_o will_v never_o go_v alone_o to_o heaven_n but_o will_v carry_v very_o many_o with_o he_o and_o that_o like_o a_o good_a captain_n he_o shall_v find_v that_o god_n will_v give_v he_o a_o fair_a company_n so_o that_o since_o the_o devil_n will_v be_v sure_a to_o lay_v such_o danger_n and_o difficulty_n in_o his_o way_n there_o will_v be_v need_n of_o very_o great_a courage_n and_o resolution_n to_o keep_v one_o from_o run_v away_o yea_o and_o also_o there_o will_v be_v need_n of_o much_o and_o much_o and_o very_o much_o favour_n and_o mercy_n of_o almighty_a god_n for_o this_o purpose_n now_o therefore_o to_o speak_v of_o the_o beginning_n of_o such_o as_o be_v already_o resolve_v to_o go_v in_o search_n after_o so_o great_a a_o blessing_n and_o to_o obtain_v what_o they_o aspire_v to_o in_o the_o end_n for_o as_o for_o that_o whereof_o i_o be_v go_v once_o to_o speak_v concern_v mystical_a theology_n for_o so_o i_o think_v it_o be_v call_v i_o will_v treat_v thereof_o afterward_o the_o great_a and_o great_a trouble_n consist_v ever_o in_o these_o very_a beginning_n for_o those_o be_v they_o which_o cost_v most_o when_o a_o soul_n come_v to_o give_v our_o lord_n the_o whole_a stock_n and_o in_o the_o other_o degree_n of_o prayer_n which_o follow_v the_o most_o part_n of_o that_o which_o pass_v be_v
better_o set_v down_o and_o it_o seem_v to_o be_v as_o when_o one_o have_v a_o original_a before_o he_o and_o then_o he_o may_v easy_o take-out_a the_o copy_n but_o if_o the_o spirit_n be_v want_v there_o be_v no_o more_o power_n and_o mean_n to_o make_v one_o word_n of_o this_o language_n suit_n well_o with_o a_o other_o then_o if_o as_o we_o may_v say_v we_o will_v suit_n spanish_n and_o turkish_a together_o even_o though_o we_o shall_v have_v exercise_v ourselves_o many_o year_n in_o prayer_n and_o therefore_o i_o think_v it_o be_v of_o very_o great_a advantage_n when_o i_o write_v if_o i_o be_v then_o in_o state_n of_o prayer_n for_o i_o see_v clear_o that_o it_o be_v not_o i_o who_o declare_v it_o nor_o who_o do_v either_o order_n it_o then_o with_o my_o understanding_n nor_o yet_o know_v afterward_o how_o i_o declare_v it_o before_o and_o this_o happen_v to_o i_o very_o often_o but_o now_o let_v we_o goe-back_a to_o our_o orchard_n or_o garden_n and_o see_v how_o these_o tree_n begin_v to_o button_n and_o budd-out_a towards_o flower_a that_o they_o may_v afterward_o yield_v fruit_n and_o how_o these_o gillie-flower_n and_o other_o odoriferous_a plant_n dispose_v themselves_o to_o give_v delight_n full_o send_v to_o the_o owner_n i_o confess_v that_o this_o comparison_n regales_fw-la and_o please_v i_o much_o for_o many_o time_n in_o my_o beginning_n and_o i_o humble_o beseech_v our_o lord_n that_o even_o yet_o i_o may_v have_v be_v a_o beginner_n to_o serve_v his_o divine_a majesty_n i_o say_v in_o those_o beginning_n of_o that_o which_o i_o shall_v say_v afterward_o of_o my_o life_n it_o be_v of_o much_o delight_n to_o i_o to_o consider_v that_o my_o soul_n be_v a_o garden_n and_o that_o our_o lord_n walk_v in_o it_o up_o and_o down_o and_o i_o humble_o pray_v he_o to_o increase_v the_o odour_n of_o those_o little_a young_a flower_n of_o virtue_n which_o show_v in_o all_o appearance_n that_o they_o will_v be_v glad_a to_o find_v mean_n to_o sprout_v and_o that_o also_o they_o may_v serve_v for_o his_o glory_n and_o that_o he_o will_v be_v please_v to_o sustain_v they_o since_o i_o desire_v nothing_o for_o myself_o and_o that_o he_o will_v also_o dress_v and_o prune_v as_o many_o of_o they_o as_o he_o please_v for_o already_o i_o know_v well_o enough_o that_o they_o will_v thrive_v and_o grow_v the_o better_a afterward_o i_o say_v that_o he_o will_v cut_v and_o prune_v they_o in_o regard_n that_o some_o such_o time_n arrive_v now_o and_o then_o to_o the_o soul_n as_o wherein_o there_o be_v no_o appearance_n leave_v of_o this_o garden_n at_o all_o but_o then_o all_o seem_v to_o be_v wither_v and_o dry_a and_o that_o there_o never_o will_v come_v more_o water_n to_o sustain_v it_o yea_o and_o that_o there_o also_o seem_v to_o have_v never_o be_v any_o virtue_n in_o that_o soul_n in_o this_o case_n it_o undergo_v great_a affliction_n because_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v that_o the_o poor_a gardner_n may_v conceive_v that_o all_o that_o care_n be_v lose_v which_o he_o have_v former_o employ_v upon_o sustain_v and_o improve_v his_o garden_n but_o then_o comes-in_a the_o time_n of_o true_a plucking-up_a and_o rooting-out_a all_o those_o little_a paltry_a herb_n which_o till_o then_o have_v remain_v there_o how_o little_a soever_o they_o may_v be_v with_o make_v we_o also_o know_v that_o no_o diligence_n of_o we_o will_v serve_v if_o almighty_a god_n take_v the_o water_n of_o his_o grace_n from_o we_o that_o so_o in_o fine_a we_o may_v come_v to_o hold_v this_o poor_a miserable_a nothing_o of_o we_o in_o no_o manner_n of_o account_n yea_o and_o if_o the_o thing_n be_v possible_a even_o for_o less_o than_o nothing_o for_o here_o great_a humility_n make_v we_o the_o gainer_n since_o the_o flower_n will_v thus_o grow_v to_o reflourish_v o_o thou_o my_o lord_n and_o my_o god_n for_o i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o say_v this_o without_o tear_n and_o without_o a_o great_a regalo_n to_o this_o poor_a soul_n of_o i_o be_v it_o possible_a o_o my_o lord_n that_o thou_o be_v please_v to_o be_v thus_o among_o we_o yea_o and_o thou_o remain_v in_o the_o b._n sacrament_n which_o may_v well_o be_v with_o all_o truth_n believe_v because_o so_o it_o be_v and_o we_o may_v with_o much_o truth_n make_v this_o comparison_n and_o if_o it_o be_v not_o through_o our_o own_o fault_n we_o may_v enjoy_v ourselves_o together_o with_o thou_o yea_o and_o thou_o do_v also_o rejoice_v to_o be_v with_o we_o since_o thou_o declare_v that_o it_o be_v thy_o delight_n to_o be_v with_o the_o child_n of_o man_n o_o my_o lord_n what_o be_v this_o for_o whensoever_o i_o hear_v but_o this_o word_n it_o be_v to_o i_o of_o great_a consolation_n yea_o and_o be_v so_o when_o i_o find_v myself_o in_o the_o worst_a condition_n but_o be_v it_o possible_a after_o this_o o_o my_o dear_a lord_n that_o there_o shall_v be_v in_o the_o whole_a world_n any_o one_o soul_n which_o arrive_v to_o receive_v such_o favour_n and_o regalo_n at_o thy_o hand_n and_o understanding_n that_o thou_o reioyc_a so_o high_o in_o she_o shall_v yet_o return_v to_o offend_v thou_o after_o the_o receive_n of_o so_o many_o favour_n and_o so_o great_a demonstration_n of_o the_o love_n thou_o bear_v she_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o they_o can_v possible_o be_v doubt_v since_o the_o effect_n do_v so_o manifest_o declare_v it_o yes_o yes_o it_o be_v most_o certain_a that_o there_o be_v such_o a_o soul_n in_o the_o world_n which_o have_v offend_v thou_o and_o that_o not_o once_o but_o often_o yea_o and_o i_o be_o this_o very_a soul_n and_o i_o beseech_v thy_o divine_a goodness_n o_o my_o lord_n that_o i_o may_v have_v be_v the_o only_o creature_n who_o ever_o commit_v so_o high_a a_o wickedness_n and_o who_o have_v be_v guilty_a of_o such_o a_o excessive_a ingratitude_n against_o thou_o though_o yet_o already_o even_o from_o this_o very_a misery_n of_o i_o thy_o infinite_a goodness_n have_v be_v able_a to_o draw_v some_o advantage_n yea_o and_o even_o by_o how_o much_o the_o ill_n have_v be_v great_a the_o great_a benignity_n of_o thy_o mercy_n have_v shine_v so_o much_o the_o more_o but_o now_o with_o how_o much_o reason_n may_v i_o resolve_v to_o celebrate_v they_o for_o all_o eternity_n i_o most_o humble_o beseech_v thou_o o_o my_o god_n that_o it_o may_v be_v so_o and_o that_o i_o may_v sing_v praise_n to_o thou_o for_o ever_o since_o now_o thou_o have_v vouchsafe_v to_o show_v thy_o goodness_n so_o high_o and_o so_o great_o to_o i_o that_o such_o as_o see_v it_o be_v amaze_v and_o as_o for_o i_o they_o carry_v i_o very_o often_o even_o out_o of_o myself_o and_o if_o i_o shall_v once_o find_v that_o i_o be_v deprive_v of_o thou_o i_o can_v be_v fit_a o_o my_o lord_n for_o nothing_o but_o to_o return_v to_o be_v such_o a_o kind_n of_o garden_n as_o that_o the_o flower_n be_v plucked-up_a yet_o once_o again_o this_o miserable_a earth_n of_o i_o will_v return_v to_o be_v a_o direct_a dunghill_n as_o it_o be_v before_o to_o the_o end_n therefore_o that_o i_o may_v praise_v thou_o the_o better_a permit_v not_o i_o beseech_v thou_o o_o my_o lord_n that_o this_o soul_n may_v ever_o grow_v to_o be_v lose_v which_o thou_o have_v buy_v with_o so_o many_o affliction_n of_o thy_o own_o and_o which_o thou_o have_v so_o often_o repurchase_v again_o and_o again_o and_o take_v from_o out_o of_o the_o very_a tooth_n of_o that_o hideous_a dragon_n of_o hell_n i_o beseech_v your_o reverence_n excuse_v i_o for_o speak_v thus_o from_o the_o purpose_n and_o do_v not_o wonder_v at_o it_o since_o it_o be_v at_o least_o to_o my_o own_o purpose_n to_o speak_v as_o i_o do_v for_o it_o happen_v according_a to_o those_o apprehension_n and_o reflection_n which_o the_o soul_n chance_v to_o make_v when_o one_o write_v and_o sometime_o it_o falls-out_a to_o be_v hard_o enough_o to_o forbear_v to_o celebrate_v the_o praise_n of_o almighty_a god_n when_o it_o happen_v that_o the_o pen_n represent_v such_o thing_n as_o express_v the_o high_a obligation_n which_o we_o have_v to_o his_o divine_a majesty_n and_o i_o believe_v that_o this_o will_v be_v no_o way_n displease_v to_o your_o reverence_n for_o i_o be_o of_o opinion_n that_o we_o may_v both_o of_o we_o do_v very_o well_o to_o sing_v one_o song_n though_o yet_o after_o a_o different_a manner_n because_o it_o be_v much_o more_o which_o i_o owe_v to_o almighty_a god_n than_o you_o in_o regard_n that_o he_o have_v pardon_v i_o more_o sin_n as_o your_o reverence_n know_v very_o well_o the_o fifteen_o chapter_n she_o prosecute_v her_o discourse_n of_o the_o same_o matter_n and_o give_v some_o advice_n how_o person_n be_v to_o carry_v themselves_o in_o this_o kind_n
soul_n do_v at_o that_o time_n and_o our_o lord_n say_v this_o to_o i_o in_o these_o word_n it_o do_v my_o daughter_n dissolve_v and_o defeat_v itself_o to_o be_v so_o the_o more_o ingulfed_a in_o i_o for_o now_o it_o be_v no_o long_o she_o who_o live_v but_o i_o and_o since_o she_o can_v comprehend_v that_o which_o she_o understand_v her_o very_a understanding_n it_o after_o a_o kind_n of_o moral_a way_n which_o she_o do_v be_v real_o a_o not_o understand_v it_o after_o a_o strict_a &_o comprehensive_a way_n which_o she_o be_v not_o able_a to_o do_v he_o who_o shall_v have_v have_v trial_n of_o this_o by_o experience_n will_v be_v able_a to_o arrive_v to_o the_o expression_n of_o some_o part_n thereof_o but_o as_o for_o i_o i_o can_v deliver_v that_o more_o clear_o which_o pass_v here_o since_o it_o be_v so_o very_o obscure_a i_o can_v only_o say_v that_o in_o this_o case_n their_o be_v then_o so_o close_o to_o almighty_a god_n be_v represent_v to_o they_o and_o there_o remain_v such_o a_o kind_n of_o certainty_n thereof_o that_o it_o can_v possible_o fail_v to_o be_v believe_v and_o now_o here_o all_o the_o power_n of_o the_o soul_n fall_v short_a of_o operation_n and_o be_v suspend_v in_o such_o sort_n that_o by_o no_o mean_n as_o i_o have_v say_v it_o can_v possible_o be_v understand_v that_o they_o work_v if_o she_o be_v think_v of_o some_o mystery_n it_o be_v instant_o so_o forget_v as_o if_o there_o have_v never_o beme_fw-mi any_o such_o thought_n if_o she_o be_v read_v there_o be_v no_o remembrance_n of_o it_o nor_o yet_o of_o pause_v and_o if_o pray_v vocal_o in_o like_a manner_n so_o that_o now_o this_o importunate_a little_a gnatt_n of_o the_o memory_n have_v her_o wing_n burn_v here_o and_o can_v now_o no_o long_o spring-up_a nor_o stir_v the_o will_v also_o be_v now_o employ_v all_o in_o love_v though_o it_o understand_v not_o how_o it_o love_v the_o understanding_n if_o it_o understand_v it_o be_v not_o yet_o understand_v how_o it_o understand_v and_o at_o least_o it_o can_v comprehend_v nothing_o of_o that_o which_o it_o understand_v to_o i_o it_o do_v not_o seem_v that_o it_o understand_v because_o as_o i_o be_v say_v it_o be_v not_o understand_v and_o for_o my_o part_n i_o attain_v not_o to_o understand_v all_o this_o at_o the_o first_o i_o chance_v to_o be_v in_o so_o great_a a_o ignorance_n as_o not_o to_o know_v that_o almighty_a god_n be_v in_o all_o thing_n and_o consider_v how_o very_o present_a i_o conceive_v he_o to_o be_v to_o i_o it_o seem_v impossible_a for_o i_o to_o believe_v the_o contrary_n to_o leave_v therefore_o to_o believe_v that_o he_o be_v there_o i_o can_v not_o because_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o as_o it_o be_v apparent_o and_o clear_o that_o i_o have_v understand_v his_o very_a presence_n to_o be_v there_o some_o man_n who_o be_v not_o learned_a tell_v i_o that_o he_o be_v only_o there_o by_o his_o grace_n which_o still_o i_o can_v not_o possible_o believe_v because_o as_o i_o be_v say_v i_o hold_v he_o to_o be_v direct_o present_a otherwise_o and_o thus_o i_o continue_v with_o some_o trouble_n but_o at_o length_n a_o great_a learned_a man_n of_o the_o order_n of_o the_o glorious_a s._n dominick_n free_v i_o from_o this_o doubt_n and_o tell_v i_o not_o only_o that_o he_o be_v present_a but_o that_o he_o also_o communicate_v himself_o to_o we_o which_o comfort_v i_o very_o much_o but_o now_o it_o be_v here_o to_o be_v note_v and_o understand_v that_o this_o celestial_a water_n be_v always_o a_o most_o eminent_a favour_n of_o our_o lord_n and_o give_v the_o soul_n excessive_o great_a advantage_n as_o i_o shall_v now_o declare_v the_o nineteen_o chapter_n she_o prosecute_v the_o same_o discourse_n and_o begin_v to_o declare_v the_o effect_n which_o this_o degree_n of_o prayer_n work_n in_o the_o soul_n she_o persuade_v man_n earnest_o not_o to_o turn_v back_o nor_o to_o give-ove_a their_o prayer_n though_o they_o shall_v happen_v to_o fall_v even_o after_o they_o have_v receive_v these_o favour_n she_o speak_v of_o the_o great_a harm_n which_o will_v arrive_v to_o they_o if_o they_o do_v otherwise_o this_o discourse_n be_v much_o to_o be_v note_v and_o it_o be_v of_o great_a consolation_n for_o weak_a person_n and_o sinner_n the_o soul_n do_v in_o this_o prayer_n and_o union_n remain_v with_o a_o excessive_a kind_n of_o tenderness_n in_o such_o sort_n that_o she_o will_v feign_v even_o defeat_v and_o dissolve_v herself_o not_o through_o pain_n or_o trouble_v but_o by_o abundance_n of_o tear_n of_o joy_n wherein_o she_o be_v bathe_v without_o so_o much_o as_o feel_v or_o know_v how_o or_o when_o she_o weep_v they_o it_o give_v she_o a_o great_a delight_n to_o find_v the_o impetuous_a force_n of_o that_o fire_n appease_v and_o allay_v by_o water_n which_o yet_o make_v it_o increase_v so_o much_o the_o more_o this_o language_n of_o i_o may_v seem_v to_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o gibberish_n but_o yet_o thus_o stand_v the_o case_n it_o have_v happen_v to_o i_o sometime_o when_o i_o be_v in_o this_o part_n of_o this_o prayer_n to_o be_v so_o prayer_n whole_o out_o of_o myself_o as_o that_o i_o know_v not_o whether_o i_o be_v awake_a or_o asleep_o or_o whither_o in_o very_a deed_n i_o have_v be_v in_o that_o glory_n which_o i_o feel_v and_o whether_o it_o be_v true_a that_o i_o be_v indeed_o so_o all_o bathe_v in_o water_n which_o distil_v with_o such_o force_n and_o speed_n from_o my_o eye_n that_o it_o seem_v as_o if_o a_o very_a cloud_n of_o heaven_n have_v rain_v it_o down_o but_o in_o fine_a i_o find_v that_o it_o be_v no_o dream_n this_o happen_v to_o be_v in_o the_o beginning_n of_o this_o prayer_n and_o it_o pass_v quick_o over_o but_o the_o soul_n remain_v so_o courageous_a thereby_o that_o if_o it_o be_v possible_a for_o she_o to_o be_v cut_v into_o a_o thousand_o piece_n for_o god_n sake_n it_o will_v be_v of_o extreme_a consolation_n to_o she_o and_o now_o here_o come_v in_o all_o her_o promise_n her_o heroical_a resolution_n the_o livelie_a efficacy_n of_o her_o desire_n her_o beginning_n to_o abhor_v the_o world_n her_o clear_o discern_v she_o own_o vanity_n and_o all_o this_o much_o more_o perfect_o and_o more_o high_o than_o it_o happen_v in_o any_o of_o her_o former_a prayer_n her_o humility_n be_v also_o grow_v much_o strong_a for_o now_o she_o very_o clear_o discern_v that_o no_o diligence_n at_o all_o of_o her_o own_o be_v any_o piece_n of_o a_o cause_n for_o bring_v she_o that_o excessive_a and_o incomparable_a favour_n nor_o for_o make_v she_o enjoy_v the_o same_o she_o see_v now_o clear_o that_o she_o be_v a_o most_o unworthy_a creature_n for_o in_o any_o room_n where_o there_o enter_v a_o strong_a and_o clear_a sunbeam_n there_o be_v not_o the_o least_o and_o thin_a cobweb_n which_o can_v lie_v hide_v she_o now_o look_v very_o clear_o upon_o her_o own_o misery_n and_o now_o she_o be_v so_o very_o free_a from_o vainglory_n that_o it_o seem_v a_o kind_n of_o impossible_a thing_n for_o she_o to_o have_v any_o because_o now_o already_o she_o have_v it_o even_o in_o her_o very_a eye_n how_o little_a she_o be_v able_a to_o perform_v or_o rather_o in_o very_a deed_n that_o it_o be_v just_o nothing_o at_o all_o and_o that_o in_o this_o case_n there_o be_v hardly_o so_o much_o as_o any_o consent_n of_o she_o but_o that_o it_o seem_v that_o even_o whether_o she_o will_v or_o no_o they_o shut_v the_o gate_n of_o all_o her_o sense_n up_o to_o the_o end_n that_o she_o may_v so_o the_o better_a enjoy_v her_o lord_n and_o that_o now_o since_o she_o remain_v all_o alone_a with_o he_o what_o can_v she_o have_v to_o do_v but_o to_o love_v he_o she_o neither_o can_v see_v nor_o hear_v unless_o she_o be_v make_v to_o do_v so_o as_o it_o be_v by_o very_o strong_a hand_n and_o therefore_o there_o be_v little_a for_o which_o to_o thank_v she_o her_o former_a life_n grow_v then_o to_o be_v represent_v to_o she_o with_o perfect_a truth_n together_o with_o the_o great_a mercy_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o all_o this_o occurr_n to_o she_o without_o any_o necessity_n at_o all_o that_o her_o understanding_n shall_v now_o go_v hunt_v after_o it_o for_o there_o do_v she_o already_o find_v all_o this_o kind_n of_o food_n ready_a dress_v for_o she_o to_o understand_v and_o eat_v of_o herself_o she_o see_v very_o well_o that_o she_o deserve_v hellfire_n and_o that_o now_o in_o stead_n thereof_o they_o give_v she_o no_o other_o punishment_n than_o glory_n and_o therefore_o she_o do_v now_o even_o consume_v herself_o in_o the_o praise_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o now_o will_v i_o be_v glad_a even_o to_o consume_v myself_o so_o bless_a be_v thou_o o_o
for_o so_o many_o foul_a treason_n as_o i_o have_v commit_v against_o thou_o by_o these_o few_o poor_a little_a tear_n of_o i_o which_o yet_o be_v give_v i_o by_o thyself_o and_o which_o real_o for_o my_o part_n thereof_o be_v but_o as_o so_o much_o water_n of_o a_o stinke_v well_o for_o still_o i_o be_o commit_v sin_n &_o procure_v to_o frustrate_v &_o even_o as_o it_o be_v annihilate_v the_o favour_n which_o thou_o have_v do_v i_o but_o be_v thou_o please_v o_o my_o dear_a lord_n to_o give_v value_n to_o these_o poor_a tear_n and_o do_v thou_o purifye_v this_o so_o trouble_a water_n of_o my_o soul_n though_o it_o shall_v be_v for_o no_o other_o reason_n then_o only_o to_o keep_v man_n free_a from_o the_o temptation_n of_o make_v rash_a judgement_n as_o for_o my_o part_n i_o have_v be_v subject_a to_o this_o thought_n why_o o_o lord_n do_v thou_o pass_v over_o those_o other_o holy_a people_n who_o have_v always_o serve_v and_o suffer_v for_o thou_o and_o have_v be_v bred-up_a in_o the_o way_n of_o a_o religious_a life_n and_o be_v indeed_o true_o religious_a and_o not_o like_o i_o who_o have_v no_o more_o thereof_o than_o the_o name_n and_o yet_o i_o clear_o see_v that_o thou_o do_v they_o not_o those_o favour_n which_o thou_o have_v do_v i_o but_o yet_o here_o i_o discern_v very_o well_o o_o thou_o my_o eternal_a good_a that_o thou_o keep_v their_o reward_n in_o store_n that_o so_o thou_o may_v give_v it_o they_o all_o together_o and_o that_o my_o weakness_n be_v so_o great_a that_o i_o have_v need_v to_o be_v proceed_v with_o thus_o whereas_o they_o like_o gallant_a person_n be_v content_a to_o serve_v thou_o still_o without_o these_o help_n and_o so_o thou_o treat_a they_o as_o valiant_a people_n who_o have_v no_o interest_n of_o their_o own_o but_o yet_o i_o with_o all_o this_o o_o my_o lord_n cryed-out_a many_o time_n before_o thou_o excuse_v they_o who_o murmur_v against_o i_o because_o i_o think_v they_o have_v too_o much_o reason_n for_o what_o they_o 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clapp_n and_o in_o my_o opinion_n not_o without_o much_o cause_n and_o therefore_o i_o undertake_v no_o enmity_n against_o any_o creature_n but_o only_o beseech_v thy_o divine_a majesty_n to_o consider_v what_o little_a reason_n they_o have_v they_o say_v that_o i_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o make_v myself_o a_o saint_n and_o that_o i_o invent_v certain_a novelty_n though_o i_o have_v not_o arrive_v yet_o by_o a_o great_a deal_n to_o fulfil_v all_o my_o own_o rule_n nor_o overtake_v in_o the_o way_n of_o virtue_n those_o many_o good_a and_o holy_a religious_a woman_n who_o be_v in_o that_o monastery_n nor_o do_v i_o think_v indeed_o that_o i_o shall_v ever_o arrive_v so_o far_o unless_o almighty_a god_n through_o his_o goodness_n will_v be_v please_v to_o perform_v it_o all_o on_o his_o part_n but_o rather_o that_o i_o be_v likely_a to_o abolish_v that_o which_o be_v good_a and_o to_o establish_v certain_a custom_n which_o be_v not_o so_o at_o least_o i_o do_v what_o i_o can_v to_o introduce_v they_o and_o i_o have_v always_o power_n enough_o to_o do_v hurt_v so_o that_o they_o blame_v i_o without_o any_o fault_n of_o they_o nor_o do_v i_o say_v that_o they_o be_v only_o religious_a woman_n but_o other_o also_o who_o tell_v i_o truth_n because_o it_o be_v permit_v by_o thou_o when_o once_o i_o be_v say_v my_o office_n i_o who_o have_v sometime_o be_v subject_a to_o this_o temptation_n come_v to_o this_o verse_n justus_n es_fw-la domine_fw-la &_o rectum_fw-la iudicium_fw-la tuum_fw-la thou_o be_v just_a o_o lord_n and_o thy_o judgement_n be_v right_a and_o i_o begin_v to_o consider_v how_o true_a this_o be_v for_o in_o this_o kind_n the_o devil_n have_v never_o power_n to_o tempt_v i_o so_o far_o as_o to_o make_v i_o doubt_v but_o that_o thou_o o_o lord_n be_v the_o owner_n and_o author_n of_o all_o goodness_n no_o nor_o yet_o in_o any_o thing_n at_o all_o which_o belong_v to_o faith_n nay_o rather_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o the_o more_o they_o be_v above_o nature_n the_o more_o firm_o do_v i_o believe_v they_o yea_o and_o they_o cause_v even_o more_o devotion_n in_o i_o and_o in_o regard_n that_o thou_o be_v omnipotent_a all_o such_o greatness_n as_o thou_o shall_v be_v please_v to_o act_v and_o execute_v be_v resolve_v upon_o and_o conclude_v in_o i_o and_o of_o this_o as_o i_o be_v say_v i_o never_o have_v doubt_n so_o that_o when_o i_o come_v afterward_o to_o consider_v how_o thou_o can_v permit_v that_o there_o shall_v be_v so_o many_o dear_a servant_n of_o thou_o as_o i_o be_v say_v who_o yet_o receive_v not_o those_o favour_n and_o regalos_n which_o thou_o be_v please_v to_o vouchsafe_v i_o i_o be_v so_o miserable_a a_o creature_n as_o i_o be_v thou_o answer_v i_o thus_o o_o lord_n do_v thou_o serve_v i_o and_o do_v not_o trouble_v thyself_o with_o that_o now_o this_o be_v the_o very_a first_o word_n of_o that_o kind_n which_o ever_o i_o perceive_v thou_o to_o speak_v to_o i_o and_o therefore_o it_o amaze_v i_o much_o and_o i_o will_v hereafter_o declare_v this_o manner_n of_o understand_v thing_n together_o with_o diverse_a other_o i_o speak_v not_o of_o it_o here_o for_o it_o be_v to_o go_v from_o the_o purpose_n and_o i_o believe_v i_o have_v go_v from_o it_o already_o and_o in_o effect_n i_o scarce_o know_v what_o i_o have_v say_v nor_o can_v it_o indeed_o well_o be_v otherwise_o but_o your_o reverence_n must_v needs_o bear_v with_o these_o interual_n and_o interruption_n for_o when_o i_o once_o consider_v how_o much_o god_n endure_v at_o my_o hand_n and_o withal_o behold_v myself_o in_o this_o condition_n it_o be_v not_o to_o go_v for_o a_o strange_a thing_n that_o i_o lose_v my_o aim_n both_o in_o that_o which_o i_o say_v and_o be_o to_o say_v and_o i_o beseech_v our_o lord_n that_o all_o my_o impertinency_n and_o roaving_n may_v always_o be_v of_o this_o kind_n and_o that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n may_v not_o permit_v that_o i_o may_v ever_o vary_v one_o hair_n breadth_n from_o he_o but_o rather_o that_o i_o may_v be_v consume_v even_o in_o this_o moment_n for_o it_o may_v well_o be_v sufficient_a for_o i_o to_o have_v observe_v and_o discern_v his_o great_a mercy_n not_o once_o but_o often_o in_o that_o he_o have_v be_v please_v to_o pardon_v so_o great_a a_o ingratitude_n as_o i_o he_o pardon_v s._n peter_n once_o but_o i_o often_o so_o that_o the_o devil_n have_v some_o kind_n of_o reason_n to_o tempt_v i_o as_o hope_v that_o i_o will_v not_o pretend_v to_o hold_v straight_a friendship_n with_o one_o with_o who_o i_o have_v be_v in_o so_o public_a enmity_n but_o how_o great_a o_o lord_n be_v this_o blindness_n of_o i_o for_o where_o can_v i_o ever_o think_v o_o my_o lord_n to_o find_v any_o remedy_n but_o by_o thou_o what_o a_o senseless_a kind_n of_o folly_n be_v it_o for_o i_o to_o fly_v from_o the_o light_n that_o so_o i_o may_v for_o ever_o go_v stumbling-on_a in_o the_o dark_a what_o a_o foolish_a kind_n of_o proud_a humility_n be_v that_o which_o the_o devil_n invent_v for_o i_o when_o he_o persuade_v i_o to_o depart_v from_o lean_v against_o that_o staff_n and_o pillar_n prayer_n which_o may_v support_v i_o that_o so_o my_o fall_n may_v not_o be_v so_o great_a at_o this_o instant_n do_v i_o bless_v myself_o with_o the_o cross_n for_o i_o think_v i_o never_o pass_v a_o danger_n so_o very_o hazardous_a in_o my_o whole_a life_n as_o this_o invention_n be_v which_o the_o devil_n have_v a_o mind_n to_o teach_v i_o by_o way_n of_o humility_n for_o he_o put_v it_o into_o my_o conceit_n to_o think_v how_o it_o can_v be_v possible_a that_o so_o wicked_a a_o thing_n as_o
in_o this_o diamond_n it_o be_v such_o as_o that_o all_o thing_n be_v shutup_a in_o it_o because_o there_o be_v nothing_o which_o can_v get_v out_o of_o that_o greatness_n it_o be_v a_o thing_n extreme_o to_o amaze_v i_o to_o be_v able_a to_o see_v in_o so_o very_o short_a a_o time_n so_o many_o thing_n together_o in_o this_o bright_a diamond_n and_o so_o be_v it_o also_o matter_n of_o extreme_a compassion_n and_o grief_n for_o i_o every_o time_n that_o i_o remember_v myself_o to_o have_v see_v that_o thing_n so_o very_o ugly_a and_o foul_a as_o my_o sin_n be_v shall_v be_v represent_v and_o show_v in_o that_o so_o clearness_n of_o light_n and_o the_o truth_n be_v that_o whensoever_o i_o remember_v it_o i_o know_v not_o how_o it_o come_v to_o be_v possible_a for_o i_o to_o endure_v it_o and_o i_o do_v real_o then_o remain_v so_o extreme_o out_o of_o countenance_n and_o ashamed_a that_o i_o think_v i_o can_v not_o tell_v where_o to_o hide_v my_o head_n o_o vision_n that_o some_o creature_n or_o other_o be_v able_a to_o give_v this_o truth_n to_o be_v well_o understand_v by_o these_o people_n who_o commit_v dishonest_a filthy_a sin_n that_o so_o they_o may_v come_v to_o know_v that_o they_o be_v not_o secret_a and_o that_o almighty_a god_n have_v reason_n to_o be_v very_o sensible_a of_o those_o wrong_n since_o they_o be_v act_v so_o true_o in_o the_o presence_n of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n and_o that_o we_o carry_v ourselves_o with_o so_o base_a irreverence_n before_o he_o i_o see_v here_o also_o how_o just_o hell_n be_v deserve_v for_o any_o one_o mortal_a sin_n because_o it_o be_v pass_v our_o power_n to_o understand_v what_o a_o most_o grievous_a crime_n it_o be_v to_o commit_v it_o in_o the_o presence_n of_o so_o great_a a_o majesty_n and_o what_o a_o unspeakable_a distance_n and_o dissimilitude_n be_v find_v between_o that_o which_o he_o be_v and_o that_o which_o our_o sin_n be_v and_o how_o it_o appear_v even_o hereby_o so_o much_o the_o better_a how_o great_a his_o mercy_n be_v since_o notwithstanding_o he_o know_v all_o this_o he_o yet_o endure_v us._n it_o have_v also_o make_v i_o consider_v that_o if_o such_o a_o vision_n as_o this_o can_v leave_v the_o soul_n so_o extreme_o astonish_v and_o amaze_v what_o kind_n of_o thing_n will_v the_o day_n of_o judgement_n prove_v to_o be_v when_o this_o majesty_n of_o almighty_a god_n will_v show_v itself_o with_o all_o clearness_n and_o so_o we_o shall_v also_o clear_o see_v what_o kind_n of_o thing_n our_o sin_n be_v which_o we_o commit_v against_o he_o o_o my_o dear_a god_n what_o blindness_n be_v this_o which_o have_v seize_v i_o and_o i_o have_v often_o be_v amaze_v even_o whilst_o i_o have_v be_v write_v this_o and_o your_o reverence_n need_v be_v amaze_v at_o nothing_o but_o how_o i_o be_o able_a even_o to_o live_v whilst_o i_o be_o look_v both_o upon_o these_o thing_n and_o myself_o but_o let_v he_o be_v eternal_o bless_v who_o have_v vouchsafe_v to_o endure_v such_o thing_n at_o my_o hand_n be_v once_o in_o prayer_n in_o very_o great_a recollection_n and_o with_o much_o quietness_n and_o sweetness_n i_o think_v i_o be_v all_o emcompass_v with_o angel_n and_o very_o near_o to_o almighty_a god_n and_o i_o begin_v to_o be_v a_o humble_a suitor_n to_o his_o divine_a majesty_n for_o the_o benefit_n and_o advantage_n of_o his_o church_n and_o he_o give_v i_o to_o understand_v the_o much_o good_a which_o a_o certain_a order_n shall_v do_v the_o world_n in_o these_o latter_a time_n and_o the_o great_a courage_n wherewith_o the_o member_n thereof_o shall_v defend_v and_o uphold_v the_o catholic_a faith_n be_v once_o in_o prayer_n near_o the_o bless_a sacrament_n there_o appear_v to_o i_o a_o certain_a saint_n who_o order_n be_v in_o some_o decay_n he_o have_v a_o great_a book_n in_o his_o hand_n which_o he_o open_v and_o will_v i_o to_o read_v certains_fw-fr letter_n in_o it_o which_o be_v very_o legible_a and_o large_a and_o they_o say_v thus_o in_o future_a time_n this_o order_n shall_v flourish_v and_o have_v many_o martyr_n another_o time_n be_v at_o matin_n in_o the_o choir_n six_o or_o seven_o person_n be_v represent_v and_o set_v before_o i_o and_o i_o hold_v they_o to_o be_v of_o the_o same_o order_n and_o they_o have_v sword_n in_o their_o hand_n and_o i_o conceive_v that_o i_o be_v give_v thereby_o to_o understand_v that_o they_o shall_v defend_v the_o faith_n for_o be_v in_o prayer_n another_o time_n and_o rapt_v in_o spirit_n i_o think_v i_o be_v in_o a_o very_a spavous_a field_n where_o many_o be_v who_o fight_v and_o they_o of_o this_o order_n do_v also_o fight_v with_o great_a fervour_n they_o have_v their_o face_n beautiful_a and_o much_o inflame_v and_o they_o beat_v multitude_n of_o man_n down_o to_o the_o ground_n and_o killed_z other_o this_o battle_n seem_v to_o be_v give_v against_o heretic_n &_o i_o have_v see_v this_o glorious_a saint_n diverse_a time_n and_o he_o have_v tell_v i_o some_o thing_n and_o give_v i_o thanks_n for_o the_o prayer_n which_o i_o make_v for_o his_o order_n and_o he_o have_v promise_v that_o he_o will_v recommend_v i_o to_o our_o bless_a lord_n i_o specifye_v not_o the_o several_a order_n here_o lest_o some_o shall_v be_v offend_v at_o it_o and_o if_o our_o lord_n shall_v think_v it_o convenient_a he_o may_v declare_v they_o but_o every_o order_n shall_v procure_v and_o so_o shall_v every_o particular_a man_n of_o every_o order_n that_o in_o so_o great_a a_o necessity_n as_o that_o wherein_o the_o church_n be_v at_o this_o time_n they_o may_v be_v able_a to_o serve_v she_o for_o happy_a be_v those_o life_n which_o may_v come_v to_o loose_v themselves_o upon_o this_o occasion_n a_o certain_a person_n desire_v i_o once_o to_o beg_v of_o almighty_a god_n that_o i_o may_v understand_v whether_o or_o no_o it_o will_v be_v for_o the_o service_n of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o he_o shall_v take_v a_o bishopric_n i_o do_v so_o and_o our_o lord_n make_v i_o this_o answer_n after_o i_o have_v communicate_v when_o he_o shall_v understand_v with_o all_o clearness_n and_o truth_n that_o true_a dominion_n consist_v in_o possess_v nothing_o he_o may_v take_v it_o then_o give_v thereby_o to_o understand_v that_o whosoever_o be_v to_o be_v a_o prelate_n must_v be_v very_o far_o from_o so_o much_o as_o desire_v it_o and_o yet_o further_o from_o procure_v it_o these_o favour_n and_o many_o other_o also_o have_v be_v and_o be_v still_o very_o ordinary_o show_v by_o our_o bless_a lord_n to_o this_o sinful_a woman_n which_o i_o think_v be_v not_o very_o necesarie_a to_o be_v relate_v since_o by_o those_o which_o be_v deliver_v already_o my_o soul_n together_o with_o the_o spirit_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v give_v i_o may_v be_v understand_v but_o let_v he_o be_v ever_o bless_v who_o have_v have_v so_o much_o care_n of_o i_o he_o tell_v i_o once_o by_o way_n of_o comfort_v i_o that_o i_o must_v not_o afflict_v myself_o and_o this_o he_o do_v with_o most_o tender_a love_n for_o that_o in_o this_o life_n of_o we_o we_o can_v not_o possible_o be_v always_o after_o the_o same_o manner_n but_o that_o sometime_o i_o will_v be_v in_o fervour_n and_o sometime_o without_o it_o sometime_o with_o unquietnes_n and_o temptation_n and_o sometime_o without_o they_o and_o in_o peace_n but_o that_o i_o must_v hope_v in_o he_o and_o fear_v nothing_o be_v one_o day_n in_o thought_n and_o doubt_v whether_o it_o be_v not_o a_o kind_n of_o be_v tie_v to_o creature_n to_o be_v glad_a to_o be_v with_o such_o person_n as_o with_o who_o i_o treat_v the_o business_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o to_o love_n both_o they_o and_o other_o also_o who_o i_o find_v to_o be_v the_o servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o to_o receive_v comfort_n by_o be_v with_o they_o he_o tell_v i_o that_o if_o when_o a_o man_n be_v dangerous_o sick_a the_o presence_n of_o a_o physician_n seem_v even_o to_o restore_v he_o to_o health_n it_o will_v not_o be_v a_o virtue_n to_o forbear_v to_o be_v glad_a of_o he_o and_o to_o love_v he_o and_o what_o say_v he_o will_v thou_o have_v do_v if_o it_o have_v not_o be_v for_o such_o as_o they_o that_o he_o dislike_v not_o that_o conversation_n shall_v be_v hold_v with_o such_o as_o be_v good_a but_o that_o my_o word_n must_v ever_o be_v well_o consider_v and_o holy_a and_o that_o so_o it_o will_v be_v rather_o profitable_a to_o i_o then_o hurtful_a not_o to_o give-ove_a communication_n with_o they_o now_o this_o impart_v a_o particular_a comfort_n to_o i_o for_o sometime_o it_o will_v seem_v to_o be_v a_o have_v too_o great_a a_o tie_n upon_o creature_n which_o make_v i_o once_o incline_v to_o give-ove_a the_o custom_n
near_o they_o with_o hallow_v candle_n candle_n a_o excellent_a advice_n take_v heed_n of_o this_o great_a danger_n danger_n consider_v this_o point_n much_o and_o often_o often_o note_v this_o good_a conclusion_n upon_o the_o praemise_n praemise_n note_v this_o very_o well_o for_o nothing_o import_v more_o they_o this_o this_o a_o great_a and_o gross_a error_n error_n a_o point_n of_o very_o great_a importance_n importance_n note_n note_n this_o be_v the_o beginning_n of_o many_o great_a blessing_n blessing_n her_o entrance_n into_o the_o receave_n supernatural_a favour_n favour_n it_o work_n not_o indeed_o by_o way_n of_o use_v discourse_n or_o make_v inference_n but_o yet_o it_o work_v by_o way_n of_o contemplation_n and_o admiration_n of_o the_o infinite_a object_n be_v god_n who_o be_v set_v before_o it_o it_o note_n note_n a_o great_a &_o foolish_a error_n error_n behold_v here_o the_o true_a &_o great_a impediment_n impediment_n this_o saint_n be_v admirable_a in_o all_o the_o comparison_n which_o the_o use_n use_n this_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o engine_n with_o certain_a little_a leather_n bucket_n fasten_v to_o the_o side_n of_o a_o very_a great_a wheel_n which_o dra_n be_v up_o very_o much_o water_n with_o great_a ease_n in_o spanish_a it_o be_v call_v a_o noria_n noria_n a_o good_a lesson_n lesson_n a_o consideration_n of_o much_o comfort_n comfort_n a_o hard_a question_n most_o clear_o and_o excellent_o answer_v answer_v mark_v well_o these_o masculine_a and_o massy_a word_n word_n note_n note_n this_o suspending_a of_o the_o thought_n or_o understanding_n of_o which_o the_o saint_n speak_v be_v a_o present_v a_o multitude_n of_o supernatural_a and_o divine_a object_n before_o it_o together_o with_o a_o copious_a infusion_n of_o light_n which_o be_v decern_v by_o it_o after_o a_o kind_n of_o intuitive_a way_n at_o once_o without_o discourse_n or_o trouble_v and_o this_o light_n rest_v not_o there_o but_o passes-on_a to_o the_o will_n and_o grow_n to_o be_v as_o so_o much_o fire_n for_o the_o inflame_a it_o in_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n and_o the_o soul_n do_v more_o proper_o suffer_v here_o then_o act_n and_o now_o the_o saint_n give_v great_a warning_n that_o people_n be_v not_o so_o foolish_a as_o to_o offer_v at_o these_o thing_n of_o themselves_o a_o great_a truth_n truth_n a_o dangerous_a &_o proud_n foolish_a error_n error_n observe_v the_o generous_a way_n of_o this_o great_a saint_n saint_n note_v this_o very_a well_o well_o a_o great_a praise_n of_o a_o large_a hart_n hart_n how_o saint_n be_v to_o be_v imitate_v &_o how_o admire_v admire_v note_v this_o well_o well_o a_o necessary_a advice_n advice_n our_o daily_a bread_n bread_n a_o description_n of_o a_o good_a director_n in_o matter_n of_o spirit_n spirit_n note_n note_n how_o the_o will_n be_v to_o carry_v itself_o to_o the_o other_o faculty_n of_o the_o mind_n mind_n the_o blessing_n of_o quiet_a prayer_n prayer_n note_n note_n note_n note_n how_o the_o soul_n be_v to_o carry_v itself_o in_o quiet_a prayer_n prayer_n note_n note_n a_o true_a &_o happy_a comparison_n comparison_n the_o good_a spirit_n very_o easy_o discern_v from_o the_o bad_a bad_a note_v this_o point_n above_o all_o all_o a_o most_o necessary_a document_n document_n a_o great_a blessing_n by_o mean_n of_o this_o prayer_n prayer_n these_o be_v the_o more_o generous_a mind_n mind_n as_o when_o one_o be_v die_v die_v this_o be_v a_o admirable_a state_n of_o mind_n mind_n the_o true_a state_n of_o the_o power_n of_o the_o mind_n in_o this_o prayer_n how_o there_o be_v a_o union_n in_o this_o prayer_n &_o how_o there_o be_v none_o none_o the_o great_a effect_n of_o this_o high_a prayer_n prayer_n the_o difference_n betweme_v elevation_n and_o union_n union_n she_o proceed_v in_o declare_v the_o great_a effect_n of_o this_o high_a prayer_n prayer_n a_o consideration_n of_o strange_a comfort_n comfort_n this_o be_v strange_a indeed_o indeed_o the_o strong_a pillar_n of_o prayer_n prayer_n consider_v this_o very_a well_o well_o take_v heed_n heed_n a_o most_o dangerous_a temptation_n temptation_n consider_v and_o admire_v this_o passage_n passage_n the_o manner_n &_o nature_n of_o rapt_n rapt_n the_o effect_n of_o rapt_n rapt_n the_o strange_a state_n of_o mind_n which_o perhaps_o be_v describe_v in_o the_o whole_a book_n book_n the_o effect_n of_o rapt_n rapt_n this_o saint_n it_o admirable_a in_o her_o comparison_n comparison_n other_o great_a effect_n of_o true_a rapt_n rapt_n her_o great_a zeal_n for_o the_o conversion_n of_o king_n king_n she_o allude_v to_o comet_n and_o blaze_a star_n star_n a_o rare_a expression_n expression_n anopinion_n which_o be_v more_o probable_a then_o true_a true_a this_o seem_v to_o have_v be_v a_o foolish_a and_o ill-favoured_a kind_n of_o error_n in_o those_o other_o other_o that_o be_v by_o several_a vision_n vision_n a_o sweet_a and_o just_a complaint_n and_o worthy_a of_o the_o saint_n who_o make_v it_o it_o by_o vision_n vision_n believe_v and_o consider_v this_o most_o certain_a truth_n truth_n a_o doubt_n which_o can_v easy_o be_v solue_v solue_v she_o grow_n now_o to_o make_v serious_a enquiry_n after_o a_o good_a director_n director_n the_o only_a excellent_a course_n course_n this_o holy_a man_n enter_v often_o into_o the_o story_n of_o our_o saint_n saint_n this_o be_v no_o improbable_a opinion_n though_o it_o be_v no_o true_a one_o one_o so_o good_a a_o begin_n be_v almost_o a_o kind_n of_o perfect_v the_o work_n work_n the_o saint_n begann_v here_o to_o be_v happy_a happy_a this_o be_v a_o wise_a man_n &_o likely_a to_o work_n wonder_v upon_o a_o soul_n soul_n he_o lose_v nothing_o by_o leave_v to_o be_v a_o duke_n for_o god_n sake_n sake_n this_o must_v needs_o have_v be_v a_o holy_a and_o a_o wise_a man_n man_n a_o little_a of_o this_o go_v far_o far_o so_o true_a it_o be_v that_o god_n be_v god_n god_n the_o mighty_a force_n and_o power_n of_o any_o one_o supernatural_a word_n word_n the_o 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false_a and_o between_v a_o true_a vision_n and_o a_o fancy_n fancy_n a_o plain_a demonstration_n demonstration_n in_o order_n to_o the_o guide_v of_o other_o a_o director_n may_v easy_o have_v too_o mean_a a_o optnion_n of_o himself_o himself_o this_o saint_n be_v huge_o vex_v by_o the_o insatisfaction_n which_o she_o receive_v from_o many_o spiritual_a man_n man_n this_o be_v very_o fit_a to_o be_v know_v know_v this_o be_v a_o true_a fortiter_fw-la sed_fw-la suaviter_fw-la suaviter_fw-la this_o saint_n be_v most_o strange_o familiar_o and_o supernatural_o visit_v by_o our_o b_o lord_n lord_n a_o strange_a task_n which_o be_v put_v even_o by_o holy_a man_n upon_o this_o saint_n saint_n the_o more_o she_o be_v discountenance_v even_o by_o good_a man_n so_o much_o the_o more_o high_o be_v she_o favour_v by_o our_o lord_n lord_n a_o rare_a comparison_n comparison_n still_o more_o &_o more_o excellent_a comparison_n comparison_n a_o excellent_a &_o most_o necessary_a advice_n advice_n a_o strange_a mixture_n of_o affection_n but_o such_o as_o god_n know_v how_o to_o give_v give_v this_o grief_n be_v after_o the_o rate_n of_o the_o love_n love_n a_o very_a safe_a and_o wise_a way_n of_o proceed_v proceed_v this_o be_v a_o most_o certain_a truth_n truth_n here_o follow_v a_o whole_a world_n of_o sad_a temptation_n &_o trouble_n trouble_n the_o difference_n betweme_v divine_a and_o diabolical_a grief_n of_o mind_n mind_n the_o way_n &_o manner_n of_o a_o great_a desolation_n desolation_n a_o pretty_a humour_n humour_n a_o happy_a state_n state_n she_o make_v along_o discourse_n of_o the_o diabolical_a temptation_n &_o trouble_n to_o which_o she_o be_v subject_a subject_a the_o excellency_n of_o holy_a water_n water_n a_o great_a and_o just_a consolation_n consolation_n a_o question_n worthy_a of_o he_o that_o ask_v it_o it_o this_o be_v a_o very_a great_a truth_n but_o the_o accent_n must_v be_v put_v upon_o the_o word_n indeed_o indeed_o and_o though_o she_o shall_v have_v continue_v to_o ask_v it_o i_o dare_v say_v our_o lord_n will_v not_o have_v grant_v it_o it_o a_o must_v certain_a truth_n truth_n a_o wise_a &_o solid_a truth_n truth_n exercise_n of_o prayer_n and_o love_n of_o honour_n agree_v not_o well_o together_o together_o this_o be_v not_o to_o be_v literal_o understand_v for_o the_o devil_n can_v prepare_v no_o place_n for_o a_o soul_n in_o hell_n but_o by_o the_o decree_n of_o almighty_a god_n upon_o the_o particular_a judgement_n give_v at_o the_o death_n of_o the_o party_n party_n the_o sin_n of_o ingratitude_n discorrespondence_n and_o inordinate_a affection_n to_o creature_n which_o she_o do_v commit_v and_o the_o great_a and_o mortal_a sin_n which_o she_o will_v most_o certain_o have_v commit_v if_o the_o mercy_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v not_o prevent_v and_o withhold_v she_o she_o hell_n be_v represent_v to_o she_o in_o spirit_n after_o a_o most_o subtle_a manner_n and_o it_o be_v show_v to_o she_o and_o describe_v by_o she_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o such_o creature_n may_v be_v capable_a thereof_o as_o be_v endue_v not_o only_o with_o mind_n but_o with_o body_n body_n the_o excellent_a fruit_n which_o this_o saint_n do_v gather_v from_o this_o great_a favour_n which_o seem_v to_o be_v the_o sole_a cause_n why_o our_o b._n lord_n be_v please_v to_o impair_v this_o favour_n favour_n the_o great_a benefit_n of_o this_o favour_n favour_n vide_fw-la supra_fw-la fol_n 471._o 471._o a_o sweet_a effect_n of_o a_o sad_a cause_n cause_n a_o sad_a and_o strange_a proceed_n proceed_n how_o one_o suspicion_n u._fw-mi wont_a to_o three_o itself_o close_o upon_o another_o another_o a_o holy_a &_o wise_a man_n man_n all_o these_o thing_n and_o the_o like_a as_o namely_o dart_n or_o chain_n or_o crown_n or_o jewel_n etc._n etc._n be_v not_o to_o be_v understoood_a after_o a_o gross_a &_o material_a way_n but_o yet_o that_o real_o they_o have_v truth_n in_o their_o be_v represent_v distinct_o &_o clear_o to_o the_o imagination_n of_o the_o party_n and_o they_o chief_o serve_v as_o testimony_n &_o sign_n of_o those_o interior_a grace_n &_o virtue_n which_o use_v to_o be_v imprint_v upon_o soul_n at_o those_o very_a time_n by_o the_o mercy_n of_o our_o b._n lord_n lord_n she_o mean_v herself_o herself_o this_o saint_n be_v a_o excellent_a person_n to_o make_v a_o friend_n of_o of_o a_o very_a strange_a demonstration_n of_o a_o most_o civil_a noble_a and_o friendly_a hart_n hart_n our_o bless_a lord_n be_v still_o as_o good_a as_o his_o word_n word_n the_o great_a charity_n &_o humility_n of_o the_o saint_n saint_n how_o devout_a this_o dear_a saint_n be_v be_v they_o be_v very_o noble_a though_o they_o be_v poor_a poor_a the_o devil_n be_v still_o himself_o himself_o this_o be_v such_o a_o kind_n of_o world_n as_o wherein_o thing_n will_v ever_o go_v thus_o thus_o a_o true_a answer_n to_o all_o the_o devil_n objection_n objection_n note_v the_o description_n which_o the_o saint_n make_v here_o of_o her_o religious_a religious_a this_o fast_a of_o the_o order_n be_v not_o so_o strict_a and_o rigorous_a as_o that_o of_o the_o church_n but_o be_v rather_o a_o forbearance_n of_o half_a the_o meal_n than_o a_o fast_a fast_a this_o point_n of_o have_v so_o very_a few_o in_o a_o monastery_n be_v partly_o mean_v for_o they_o who_o be_v to_o live_v in_o any_o place_n on_o alm_n and_o partly_o because_o the_o saint_n have_v see_v some_o disorder_n by_o have_v too_o many_o religious_a in_o other_o house_n and_o yet_o the_o saint_n herself_o come_v afterward_o to_o admit_v of_o twenty_o in_o stead_n of_o twelue_v and_o will_v perhaps_o have_v admit_v more_o if_o she_o have_v find_v reason_n for_o it_o it_o she_o inveigh_v with_o much_o reason_n against_o vain_a compliment_n and_o especial_o among_o religious_a people_n people_n a_o excellent_a &_o most_o useful_a document_n document_n a_o true_a noble_a &_o most_o generous_a hart_n hart_n great_a effect_n of_o a_o vision_n