word Mat. 12. The unclean spirit being cast out of a man he walketh about seeking rest and findeth none then hee returneth and bringeth 7 other spirits with him worse then himself and the end of that man is worse then his beginning When I heard this my heart feared I thought now I repent of my many sins for verily I am a great sinner I have offended I am 7 times worse then before I prayed then I repented Again I heard that Word He that penitently believeth shall be saved and then my heart did desire to repent and believe then I thought that men will not forgive me and therefore it is not good to abide in this place but I remembred that I had learned to read the Word and if I should forsake my friends I should lose the Word of God Then I heard that Word Repent for the Kingdome of Heaven is at hand my heart said ô let it be so and then my heart rested but yet quickly it was unquiet again Then I did strongly desire to repent of my sinnes I heard that Word that God Sowed good seed but evill seed was sowen by the Enemy and such were in my heart and as in my field there were many roots and weeds which spoyled the corne and I plucked them up and cast them out my heart said verily just so is my heart the Word is but a little in my heart and there be many ill roots in me and therefore God may justly cast me out from among his people because of my many sinnes Then my heart said I desire to pray to God as long as I live and now I forsake my sins who have been a great sinner Now I beg of Christ O give me thy spirit that I may confess my sins before God and not only before men again I remember that I cannot pardon or help my self but only Christ must help me Again I heard that Word All manner of sin shall be forgiven to a man but the sin against the Holy Ghost shall not be forgiven in this world nor in the world to come Then my heart feared because many and great were my sins since I prayed to God and I cried to God for mercy and pardon and then I thought I will pray to God as long as I live But verily I am a sinner for I am guilty not only of Adams sin but of my own sins also and they are many I remember that in Catechisme I learn that God made a Covenant of works with Adam Do the Commands and thou shalt live and thy seed also but if thou sin thou shalt die and thy seed also therefore by that I know I am a sinner and have deserved to die Then I crie to God O God have mercy upon me and pardon me Again I heard of the mercy of God but I am forgetfull and cannot remember Gods mercies to me God made a Covenant with Abraham and said I will be thy God and the God of thy seed after thee then my heart said O let it be so to me O Lord And now Abraham is in heaven who believed and kept Gods Covenant So I if I believe and keep Gods Covenant God will have mercy on me I remembred the Covenant of Circumcision to him and all his family and such a Covenant I desire for me and mine Again I heard Mat. 3. In those daies Iohn baptized in Iordan saying Repent for the Kingdome of God is at hand When I heard this my heart said the same is now with us not Abrahams signe but baptisme and therefore I desire to repent and Confess before God and before the Church and I desire not only to confess but to have repentance and faith that I may have grace mercy and pardon and such repentance as workes obedience Again the same Word saith vers. 6. They were baptized confessing their sins So I desire to do I do confess before God and desire to cast off and forsake my sins and to go to Christ The promise of pardon is to them that penitently believe and rest on Christ In the same Baptism of Iohn he said I baptize you with water but he that cometh after me is mightier then I he shall baptize you with the Holy Ghost and fire Now this Baptism I desire and not to receive the signe in vain I desire to purge out evill thoughts and therefore I confess these sins before God that they may be purged and I desire the spirit of God may dwell in me for ever to turn me to Christ I cannot of my self do any of these things but only Christ Jesus can by his spirit in me Again I heard another word As the Eagles are about a carkass so believers come to Christ then my heart said So be it Oh Lord when I receive the Covenant of God I am like the Eagles when I come to Christ I desire not to come in vain but if I feed not I shall die my soul will die Then I greatly begged that I might feed my soul on Christ and Oh Christ send thy spirit into my heart that I may not only know but do the Word of God Again Christ near his death took bread and blest it and broke it and gave it to his disciples and said Take yee eat yee this is my Body which was broken for you And so also he did the Cup and said Drink yee of it this is the Cup of my blood in the New Testament which is shed for the remission of sins Now this believers in Christ must do not only to eat Bread and to take the Sign but soul food therefore Christ sending his spirit and helping me I desire to receive the Sign not in vain but to help my faith When I had read this Confession in the Assembly we called upon the witnesses as before wee did whose answer was to the like purpose as before Wutasakompauin He was next called forth who thus spake HElp me Oh Jesus Christ to confess before the Lord Oh I am full of sin because Adams sin made mine and so was a sinner in my mothers womb When I was a youth I found many sins and after I was grown up I did the same alwaies all the daies of my life I lived in sin After the English came I went to their houses they would teach me about God but I hated it and went out I did not love such teaching Afterward the Minister taught and at first Waban perswaded me to pray and taught us I did not at first like it yet afterward I did Four years the Minister came to Noonantam I came but I only came I lost all he taught After I considered one word the Minister said That God sent him to teach us then I thought surely there is a God therefore I must believe and pray a little I believed but when I heard I did only outwardly hear After my wife and children died and then I almost cast off praying I had another wife and she died also
Say not I will pray hereafter but now Today if yee will hear his voice harden not your hearts but pray to God and that made my heart to yield to do it Then I understood Gen. 2. that God formed man out of the dust of the earth and breathed into him a living soul by this I did believe that God made me And I heard that God caused Adam to sleep and took out a rib and made it a woman and by this I believed that surely this is the work of God Again I heard that wee are born in sin under the guilt of Adams sin and by that I believed that I was a sinner Again I heard Gen. 6. that all the thoughts and imaginations of the heart of man are only evil continually and that God did threaten to destroy man whom hee had made and all beasts and living creatures which hee had made and by this I saw that surely sin is a very great evil Again I heard that Noah found grace and hee onely was upright before God and that God drowned all the world except Noah and his sons and their wives eight persons this did make mee remember my sinnes and confesse them and I saw that God is angry with sin It rained forty dayes and so drowned all the world then I said Surely this is Gods work and hee doth as he threatned to do to sinners and the same may God do to me who am a sinner and my heart is full of sin and evil thoughts c. And then I prayed Oh God be not angry with mee but be mercifull to mee and shew mee what I should do Then I considered why did God bid Noah make an Ark and saved Noah and his Sons and their Wives and by it my heart saw that this is Gods work who does what hee speaketh and hath mercy on whom hee will And my heart thought does God pardon mee and love mee It may be God will have mercy on mee I heard that promise Mat. 3. Repent and believe for the Kingdom of heaven is at hand then my heart said Oh that God would help mee and pardon my sins And God made mee wonder at Gods mercy to mee I heard of Sodom and their great sin and destruction and that did make me to remember my great sins and the great work of God that hee had almost kill'd mee Oh I thought this is Gods work to shew mee my sinnes and as God saved Lot by the Angels and sent him out of the place but burnt Sodom and all the people this I saw to be Gods work now I desired to fear God and pray unto him all the dayes of my life Again I heard Mat. 3. The axe is laid to the root of the tree every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewen down and cast into the fire then I feared my own case because my fruits were sin and I deserved to be cut down then I desired to believe in Christ I did believe that Christ is the Son of God by that word Matth. 4. Satan tempted Christ If thou be the Son of God c. but Christ conquered Satan and therefore assuredly hee is the Son of God Then I considered that place Mat. 11. Many came to Christ the halt and blinde and lame and deaf and sick and hee healed all and if they did but touch Christ they were healed and therefore my heart believed assuredly hee is the Son of God and therefore now I will pray and Oh let Christ save mee And Christ hath promised Whatever yee ask in my name it shall be done therefore now I prayed Oh Christ Jesus pardon mee but my heart is weak and doubting and I cannot believe And I heard that word that every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is cut down and cast into the fire then I said I deserve that Again that word Not every one that sayeth Lord Lord but hee that heareth the Word and doeth it Assuredly it is so and I desire not only to hear the Word but to do it then my heart was ashamed of my sinnes and grieved I heard that word Matth. 6. Blessed art thou Simon bar-Ionah flesh and blood hath not revealed this unto thee but my heavenly Father then my heart said Yea Lord no man has taught mee Christ onely God hath taught my heart to know Christ Again I heard that word Mat. 1. Hee will save his people from their sins then my heart said Be it so to mee Oh Lord Again I heard that Christ rose again the third day with an Earth-quake and the Watchmen were afraid and fled then my heart said Surely this is Christ the Son of God and whosoever believeth in Christ his soul shall go to heaven For again I heard of the Ascension of Christ and more then five hundred saw him ascend and therefore I believe this is Christ the Son of God Again I heard that in John 14. No man cometh unto the Father but by mee my heart answered Yea assuredly Oh Lord Christ is the way to believe in and come to God Again I heard that Mat. 25. Christ saith to the wicked Depart yee cursed I said God might justly say so to mee and send mee to eternal death But I earnestly cryed to God Oh God set mee into the right way and give mee Christ that I may ever walk with Christ for I am poor and weak and Christ promiseth that what wee ask hee will grant and I say Let God do with mee what hee will but I beg mercy in Christ onely I desire to pray to God as long as I live Iohn Speen THis I confess that I assuredly am a great sinner before the Lord but now I beseech God to help mee Oh Christ lead mee in the right way that I may speak that which is right This I confesse that before wee prayed to God I was wholly a sinner and not only before but since praying to God I have been a great sinner and now I desire to make a short confession for we desired that they would be shorter the time requiring so At first when I prayed my prayer was vain and only I prayed with my mouth and on the Sabbath only I came to the House of Prayer I prayed morning and evening and when I eat but I considered not what I prayed for I was sometime angry and passionate about wordly matters and I was troubled when I saw my brother was chosen to be a Ruler who was younger then I because now I saw that I was a sinner and though I repented yet presently again I fell into sin therefore I thought surely God hath cast me off because I thus sin and still my heart was full of sin all my thoughts were full of sin all my talk and doings were sinfull But now of late about 2 yeares ago I heard this word Mat. 12. When the unclean spirit was cast out hee went up and down unquiet then hee returned and took 7 devils with him worse
then himself and dwelt in that man and the latter end of that man was worse then his beginning When I heard this I feared my heart feared I feared that my repentance and praying and all was nought and that God hath almost quite cast me off Then I considered how I fell into these sins I remembred that the Serpent did deceive the woman she the man and thereby brought sin and thereupon God punished both the man and the woman Hearing this my heart thought Surely I am a great sinner and I was born in sin because my parents were sinners and so am I I have sinned against God and I was born in sin My Parents broke that Command Thou shalt have no other gods but Mee but they served many gods and so did I and therefore the earth bringeth forth thorns and weeds unto man when he laboreth therefore by this I remembred my troublesom life and all is because God is offended at me because of my sins And then I remembred that many of my children are dead this is Gods punishment on me because of my sins Sometime men punished me and were offended at me but now I remembred my sins against God and I saw that the punishments of God are a greater matter Again I heard that word that hee that keepeth his word shall finde mercy I thought so it is indeed but I am a sinner I considered what I should do because I was a sinner and born in sin and have lived in sin I considered assuredly there is a God and God made heaven and earth and all that is therein and all destructions and deaths are the work of God I remembred my vain praying to God and considered what to do I confessed my sins before God and begged pardon for Christ his sake I did finde I could not deliver my self but Christ only is my deliverer and my heart desired to believe and pray to him and yet knew not what to do nor how to please God and get pardon only I prayed Oh Christ deliver mee because I am a sinner and know not what to do Then I remembred that God layeth on us two deaths in this world First the soul is dead and wee are made guilty of Adams sin and have lost Gods Image and hereby my soul is a fool and hereby my soul is dead and a man dead can do nothing nor speak nor go nor stand and verily so is my soul dead and I shall fall to eternal damnation by sin Therefore now I cry to God to help mee for I am throughly a sinner After I heard that God pardoneth penitent believers and I remember the word of Ionas when he was almost cast off he repented and God made a Whale to eat him up and then he looked to God and cryed for mercy and then I saw that if I cry for mercy and believe I shall have pardon I heard that Christ healed all manner of diseases therefore I believed that Christ is the Son of God able to heal and pardon all Now I confess I know nothing almost nothing at all Again Christ saith Hee that is not with mee is against mee my heart said True it is so so must I do I must be with Christ and Hee that gathereth not scattereth I said So it is with mee I have so done I scatter and am a stranger to Christ And I did not truly love them that prayed to God but I was a stranger in heart unto them But now I desire in my heart to do as they do and our poor teaching I desire to obey it and do what God bids and what he saith you shall not do that I desire not to do But yet again I do sin and my sins troubled me by hearing the word of God and yet I would do them I heard that God will pardon all kinde of sins that men sin but the sin against the Holy Ghost shall not be pardoned in this world nor in that which is to come Then I fear'd that I was such an one and that God would not pardon me Then I earnestly entreated God to pardon and deliver me because he was the true deliverer Again I heard that word that they that are well need not the Physitian but the sick My heart said True I did even so I sought not help when I was well but now I remember my sins and now my soul is dead and now I desire that my soul may live and I desire the Physitian of my soul to heal mee and Christ will not in vain heal souls but such as convert from sin and believe in Christ their sins Christ pardoneth this my soul doth earnestly beseech of Christ and else I know not what to do Again I heard that Christ dyed for our sins when we are sinners Again Mat. 26. Christ saith This is my blood of the New Testament which is shed for many for the remission of sins my heart said Yea Lord let it be so for my soul and let me not be a stranger any more before thee I know not what to do Lord help I desire to be washed from all my filthy sins and to be baptized as a sign of it I am as a dead man in my soul and desire to live Ponampam A Little I shall speak I was young about 8 years old when my father lived I did play as other children did and my father did chide me for playing I wondered at it for he said we shall all die I wondered and sat amazed about half an hour but I soon forgot it That Winter the Pox came and almost all our kindred dyed I and my mother came to the Bay and there dwelt till we pray'd to God but I did nothing but sin as the rest of the world did Then hearing the word of God I heard that from the rising of the sun to the setting thereof my Name shall be known among the Gentiles therefore all must pray to God But my heart did not desire that but to go away to some other place But remembring the word of God that all shall pray to God Then I did not desire to go away but to pray to God But if I pray afore the Sachems pray I fear they will kill me and therefore I will not pray But yet when others prayed I prayed with them and I thought if I run away to other places they will pray too therefore I will pray here Then on a Sabbath none taught and some bid me teach what the Minister had taught us but I feared and durst not for fear of the Sachems yet they urged me and I did And I taught them what I remembred and they were angry at me and we fell out and I went away I thought that my praying would be in vain and I laid by praying and there was Paw-wauing but I doubted to do that because I had prayed and I did think they would laugh at me After I returned again and was among them which prayed but my heart
as other youths did at all these things because thereby did original sin grow in me and hard it was to root it out and hard to believe After this I heard still and more I understood I heard Gen. 16. that the people were full of sin lust and all other sin and therefore the Lord destroyed them and I knew that I had the same sins and therefore I was afraid but I feared only this bodily life and not for my Soul After this my heart did a little desire to pray to God because God found Noah righteous and did save him therefore I desired to pray but again I laid it by and I said it is vain to pray for if I pray and should commit sin I shall be punished or imprisoned but if I pray not I may commit what sin I will and have no punishment for it About a year after I heard the Minister teach another word that the Death of Christ is precious and our death is nothing worth therefore God promiseth pardon of all sins for Christ his sake he bid us remember this against next time When he came again he asked me and I did remember it and do to this day but I confess I did not believe only I did remember it and answered when I was asked And then again I desired to pray to God and would not go away but it was because I loved our place and dwelling I prayed but I believed not I considered not Eternal Life but only this worldly life And thus I went on till they chose Rulers at Natik they chose me and I refused because I believed not After that my Wife and Child died and I was sick to death but lived again and being well I thought I could not pray I was a Child and therefore could not I put off praying to God my Relations died and why should I pray but then I considered why does God thus punish me yea the Minister spake to me about it and said it may be it was because I refused to do Gods work as Moses when he first refused God was patient but when he persisted in his refusal God was angry and then my heart saw my sin and then my heart almost believed I desired to do right and to keep the Sabbath for I further heard in the 4th Commandment Remember the Sabbath to keep it holy and Psa. 101. I will walk wisely in a perfect way Also in Isay 58. If thou turn away thy foot from the Sabbath and do not thy own works nor find thy own pleasure nor speak thy own words therefore my Soul desired to keep the Sabbath then the Souldiers came upon us on the Sabbath day while we were at meeting and took away our Guns and caused us to bring them as far as Roxbury that night my heart was broken off my heart said God is not the Sabbath is not it is not the Lords Day for were it so the Souldiers would not have then come then my heart cast off praying then we came before the Magistrates and Cutshamoquin asked Why they came on the Sabbath-day It was answered that it was lawful but I did not understand it That day I being very thirsty did drink too much and was brought before the Magistrates and was ashamed I came to Roxbury to the Minister and there I was ashamed also because I had greatly sinned then I cried to God for free-Free-mercy because precious is the Death of Christ oh pardon this my sin Yet again I had temptations to drinking and then I considered what a great sinner I was even like a beast before God Then I heard that word Mat. 5. He that breaketh the beast of Gods Commands and teacheth others so to do shall be the least in the Kingdome of Heaven My heart said Lord such an one have I been for I have been an active sinner yet I cried again for mercy O Lord freely pardon my great sins Again I confess I am very weak even like a very child and I so walk and know not what to do if I die I fear I shall die in my sin yet I cried again O God pardon me for Christ his sake Again further I confess that when I was troubled about our wants poverty and nakedness I considered that text Foxes have holes and Birds have nests but the Son of man hath not whereon to lay his head And again Mat. 6. The Birds plough not and the flowers spin not and yet God doth both feed and cloath them and therefore be not over-much troubled about these things yet I desire to follow labour with my hands because Gen 1. God gave Adam dominion over the creatures and commanded him to Till the ground And Gen. 2. He set him in the Garden and commanded him to dress it and keep it Also Gen. 3. he said Thou shalt eat thy bread in the sweat of thy face all thy dayes till thou returnest to thy dust When I remember these things my heart doth bow to labour also I heard that riches were the root of all evil and Dives with his fine apparel and dainty fare was in hell and poor Lazarus was in heaven When my heart is troubled about our Land â—nd about riches I quiet my heart with these meditations Also I further heard when my heart was troubled about Salvation and doubted I heard that there is no means of Salvation but Christ not any thing in the world can carry us to heaven only Christ which I did believe by Gen. 28. where Iacob dreamed a dream and he saw a Ladder which stood on earth and the top reached up to heaven and that Ladder is Christ who is Man and so toucheth the earth and God and so is in heaven and by believing in him we ascend to heaven as by a ladder This helped me almost to believe and I cried Oh Christ be thou my Ladder to heaven Again Ioh. 14. Christ saith None cometh to the Father but by me therefore I believe nothing can carry me to God but only Christ if I penitently believe in him Again I confess I do still find my self very weak to resist sin for if I read and teach on the Sabbath I teach indeed but I do not as I ought and therefore that Word of Christ doth rebuke me Mat. 23. Hear and do what they say but do not as they do When I do among others reprove sinners that Word of Christ reproveth me Thou hypocrite first cast the beam out of thine own eye and then thou mayest see clearly so cast the moat out of thy brothers eye Again when I pray I find hypocrisie in my heart to do it to be seen of men and that Word of Christ reproveth me Mat. 6. They pray to be sâ—en of men verily they have their reward and then I cryed mightily to God O Lord help me pardon me what shall I do Again I heard Mat. 9. The Son of Man hath power to pardon sin on earth and therefore me O Lord then
with them only I still feared man after I heard the same word again to perswade us to pray to God and I did so but not for Gods sake only it was before man I remembred the Sabbath and I heard Mr Mathews also preach of it and therefore I thought I would keep the Sabbath but still I feared man Upon a Sabbath they wished me to teach what I remembred that the Minister had taught I did so and we had talk about what I said and we fell out Thereupon I went away and left praying to God I went into the Countrey but I remembred my wife and children and quickly returned but not for Gods sake Again the Minister preached on 1 Chron. 28. 9. And thou Solomon my son know the God of thy Fathers and serve him with a perfect heart and with a willing mind for the Lord searcheth all hearts and understandeth all the imagination of the thoughts if thou seek him he will be found of thee but if thou forsake him he will cast thee off for ever This greatly troubled me because I had left praying to God and I had deserved eternall wrath Then I desired to pray I begged mercy but I knew not what to do for my sins were many my heart was full of originall sin and my heart was often full of anger but then I was angry at my self for I found my heart quickly carried after sin Afterward through the free mercy of God I heard that word He that penitently believeth in Christ shall be pardoned and saved then my heart did beg earnestly for pardon and mercy I heard Ioh. 15. Whatever ye ask the Father in my name he will give it you therefore my heart did now greatly beg for mercy in Christ and pardon Afterward I heard Mat. 5. 28. Who ever looketh upon a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery in his heart Then my heart was troubled because many were my sins in my eies and heart and actions too My heart did love the having of two wives and other lusts of that kind Then Satan said to me You are a great sinner and God will not pardon you therefore cast off praying and run away it is a vain thing for you to pray Here you want land but in the Countrey there is land enough and riches abundance therefore pray no more My heart did almost like it but I heard that word Mat 4. Satan tempted Christ and shewed him the Kingdoms of the world and the glory thereof and promised to give them to him if he would worship him Then my heart said that even thus Satan tempteth me to cast off praying to God and therefore my heart desired to believe that word of Christ Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God and him only shalt thou serve Then I prayed again but still I was full of sin and very weak I was and I loved sin Again I heard Ioh. 14. I am the Way the Truth and the Life no man cometh unto the Father but by me Then I fully saw that Christ only is our Redeemer and Saviour and I desire to believe in Christ and my heart said that nothing that I can do can save me only Christ therefore I beg for Christ and a part in him Then said my heart I give my heart and my self to Christ and my wife and children let him do with us what he will Then my mother and two children died and my heart said What Christ will do so be it I have given them to him and I begged pardon and mercy if God will please to pardon me a poor sinner blessed be his name When I had read this Confession in the Assembly we called upon the witnesses as before we did whose answer was like as before it was John Speen Hee was next called forth and thus spake I Confess my sins this day before the Lord and not only before God but before all these people Before I prayed verily I was a great sinner yea in my mothers womb I was a sinner my sins are such as not only God knows but people also know them Before our praying I did thorowly sin and did commit all sins and now I confess these my sins before God After I prayed I did alos live in sin At first when I prayed I did not worship God nor believe in Christ but I did therefore pray because my brothers and friends and Waban and the rest did pray for their sakes I prayed And again I therefore prayed because many English knew me that I might please them and because I saw the English took much ground and I thought if I prayed the English would not take away my ground for these causes I prayed When I prayed it was but with my mouth yet I thought I do well enough in that I pray thus and I thought that for it God will pardon all my sins and I thought that my praying was good enough But yet again I sinned and did the like sins as before only I did outwardly pray but I mourned not for my sins I thought if we pray and leave Pauwauing who shall make us well when we are sick But again I thought man could not make us well because he must die himself and therefore Pauwauing is a vain thing and they die though they Pauwau But still my heart did not believe praying to God then I heard that word Repent and believe and if we repent and believe God will pardon all our sins Then sometimes I repented yet again quickly I committed sin and sometimes I thought I am throughly a sinner I heard that God made the world and all things in it and lastly man and that God formed him of the dust of the earth and breathed into him the breath of life and he became a living soul and that God made a Covenant with Adam that he should eat of all the Trees of the Garden save one in the midst of the Garden and if he eat of that Tree he should die Then I understood that Adam sinned fell and thereby I uneerstood that I became a sinner born in sin my heart full of sin and God will not pardon sinners and yet again I sinned and therefore I feared that God will not pardon me because more and more I sinned and thus I sinned after praying as well as before praying When they chose Rulers and chose my brother and not me my heart was in an evil frame and then I thought sure I am a great sinner and yet still I was more and more a sinner After my brothers loved me still and then I repented of my sins but not for Gods sake but for my brothers sake then I desired to pray as long as I live My brother died which troubled me the people said Be you in your brothers place then my heart thought I will no more do as I had done but sure I was weak my praying was but words I was a great sinner After this a while since I heard that
to understand more I began to doubt but I desired not Conversion from sin Afterward when the English taught me I would sit still because they would give me good victuals then I sometimes thought certainly God is in heaven then my thoughts said It may be I have sinned Again I thought if I prayed God could not understand mee then I found it hard to believe and love God because I was almost an old man because I thought if any could read the book he would love God I asked Mr Iackson Whether God knew our language Hee answered Yea God knoweth all languages in the world and therefore now pray unto God then I first thought I will pray unto God a little I thought of praying sometimes I would a little pray when I eat about that time you came to teach us then I remembred the Word Glad tidings was sent us from Heaven then my heart said Now I will pray because the Minister is come to my house now I heard the Word of God Then you called the Children to Catechism and one question is Who redeemed you then you taught that Christ died for our sinnes Then my heart thought that Christ is a very great life-giving God Then I feared not Pauwaus nor loved them and the Minister taught that we must take heed of all these sins Then my heart said I will leave off my sins and again my heart said I will pray to God as long as I live Further you taught that Christ died for sin was buryed rose again ascended then my heart hoped and desired Oh that it might be so that I might have eternall life by Christ because Christ is a great life-giving God But then I found that I did not understand right words and therefore I walked not in the right way when the Word of God said Six daies shalt thou labour then I was strong yet I did not labour and I was soon weary of praying to God and therefore I saw I found not the right way unto righteousness therefore now I verily see that I am a sinner and did not believe my heart feared because of my great sins and my heart feareth that I do not yet much know the Word of God Sometime my heart saith I believe I am a believer but my heart wandereth away and the deceits of my heart I sometime know and my poverty I know but my heart careth not for that I reject riches but my heart saith strongly I will pray to God so long as I live I do not throughly know the vanity of my mind I have heard the Word but believed it not I remember that Word of Christ the Pharisees said Why doth you Master eat with Publicans and sinners Christ said Those that are not sick need not the Physitian but they that are sick My heart said sure I do not need the Physitian but my desire is now that I may need him and spirituall life by him Again I heard that Word of Christ A leper came to Christ and worshiped him saying Lord if thou wilt thou canst make me cleane and Christ touched him and he was perfectly healed Then my heart said that outward healing which he had my soul desireth that I may have it in my soul for Christ healeth the outward diseases of the body but especially the inward filth of the soul this I desire may be healed Again I heard that Word go learn what that meaneth I desire mercy and not sacrifice I came not to call the righteous but sinners to repentance Then my heart said my own righteousness cannot obtain mercy for me then my heart said Oh I fear that Christ the truest righteousness is not in my heart I am almost ready to die and now I desire to know Christ WHen Mr Peirson had done reading these two last Confessions Mr Wilson spake to this purpose though they have all spoken well of Jesus Christ in their Confessions and especially the last viz Monotunkaniâ— yet he desired further to heare how they were instructed in the knowledge of Christ This question touching Christ I called Piumbathou to answer and his answer was to satisfaction and then many other Catecheticall questions were propounded which would be too long to rehearse as touching Grace Ordinances Sacraments Baptisme and the Lords Supper about Repentance and Faith all which they readily answered so as that there was no reply Nishâ—hkoâ— answered the question what Faith is Mr Allin asked him whether he had that Faith in his heart which he now spake off to which after a pause he answered to this purpose that he feared himself about it and if he spake he must say no! but he hoped in the Lords mercy that he would work it in him and help him to believe Then Mr Danforth said I ask you Nishohkou this question and answer me in English whether the same lusts which you have so much confessed do not follow you still and what you do to resist them I said that a question to the like purpose was asked him when he made Confession in private to which he answered in broken English if the Assembly pleased I would read that but he was desired to answer now and his answer was to this purpose that the Word of God is all one like a sword and he did with that resist his temptations He was asked further if he did diligently watch against his sins he answered he did not well know what a diligent watch is but he hoped that Jesus Christ would keep him Then Mr Danforth called Anthony and asked him whether he believed that it was the duty of men to labour six daies in the week After a pause he answered he believed it was Gods command but he confessed he did not obey it so much as he ought to do and saith Mr Danforth that I would have asked you next whether you obey it for you ought to do so and follow labour and cloath your selfe and family better and you ought to give towards the maintenance of Gods Ordinances After this I remember no more questions Then I declared to the Congregation that they having heard their Confessions if they thought meet they might hear what testimonies we have to produce touching their Conversation but it went not forward and so we ceased the work and Reverend Mr Wilson concluded with prayer After the publick meeting the messengers of the Churches met together and considered what answer to give to our Church and the vote among them all was that as touching their Confessions which was the work of the day they were satisfactory and they appeared in that respect to be fit matter for Church estate The End THese are to testify to all men whom it may concern That two of five Indian youths viz. Cales and Ioel that are instructed and educated in the Grammer School at Cambridge were publiquely examined at the Commencement in Cambridge mon. 6. 9. 59. concerning their progress in the learning of the Latine Tongue out of Buchanans Translation of Davids Psalmes and they gave good satisfaction unto our selves and also to the Honorable Magistrates and Reverend Elders that were present and others that were judicious as we have had opportunity to inquire off and we conceive that the other three Indian Youths that are trained up in the same School have made some competent proficiency for the short time that they have been with us In witness whereof we have subscribed our hands Camb. Sept. 6. 1659. Charles Chauncy Praesident of Haward Colledge in Cambridge Elijah Corlet Londinensis olim jam Ludimagister Cantabrigiensis Note here that God hath so blessed this youth that hee is one of our School-masters and an hopefull young man