and this child have dyed so should the teares which I had shed through the extreamitie of my pangs be seconded with more for the losse of my desires In all these mercies I must looke up to my Redeemer and acknowledg him the father and donour of these blessings I will therfore magnifie him for his goodnesse and praise him for his loving-kindnesse Ps 106 1. I will give thankes unto the Lord for hee is gratious because his mercy endureth for ever The Prayer O Mercifull God heavenly father who hast now most especially made knowne unto mee Eph 3.20 that thou art able to doe exceeding aboundantly above all that wee aske or thinke make mee thankfully rejoyce in the worke of thy love and thy tender mercie Thy favours are greate and wonderfull in sparing the life of my selfe mine infant in freeing mee from my pangs and him from the darknesse of the silent wombe Thine ô Lord is the power by which I am delivered thine is the mercy by which I am safely returned unto my bed thine is the worke of the frame and fashion of this my babe thine therfore shall be likewise the glory for ever and ever Graunt blessed Father that I may never sorget thy goodnesse but expresse my thankfullnesse in my new obedience Make mee carefull in the performance of what service I promised thee in the extreamitie of mine anguish As thou hast given mee the fruit of my body to the joy of my heart so give mee the fruit of righteousnesse sowen in peace Iam 3.18 vers 17 Give mee the wisedome which is from above that is full of good workes without hypocrisie Lord make mee thy servant by grace and make this child thy child by adoption and mercy Give mee comfort in his life for the sorrowes which I endured at his birth Gal 1.15 Seperate him from the wombe as thou didst Saint Paul that hee may be a chosen vessell of sanctification and honour Teach mee innocency and simplicitie by the example of this infant and make mee hereafter teach him goodnesse and righteousnesse by the power of thy grace Make us allways children in wickednesse 1. Cor. 14.20 1. Pet 2.2 Gal 4.19 but not in understanding that so as new borne babes wee may desire the sincere milke of thy word that wee may grow thereby Let thy sonne Christ be formed in this litle infant that as it hath beene preserved by thy power and providence in the first birth so it may feele thy mercy and grace in the second Lord give a blessing to whatsoëver shall be used for the recovery of my strength that I may allways praise thee both in prosperitie and adversitie Give thy blessing to the meanes for the nourishment of this child Give it strength that it may live to receave the seale of thy mercy in the laver of Baptisme and doe thou be present with thy blessing when the signe shall be administred Lu 2.52 O let it live if it be thy blessed will and grow up in wisedome and in stature and in grace both with thee and with men that so I may magnifie thy name for making mee an instrument to propagate the number of thine elect who am the weakest and the unworthiest of women Increase thy Kingdome daâ—ly Take pittie upon all that suffer afflictions especially on those women who are in labour of children Give them comfort in the time of their miseries ease from their torments joy in their desired issue and thankfullnesse for thy blessings Lord graunt that both I they may sing praises to thy name for the greatnesse of our deliverances and expresse our thanks in our godly lives that when this painfull life shall have an end wee may sing tryumphantly in eternall glory through Iesus Christ our onely Lord and Saviour Amen 13. THE THIRTEENTH SUBJECT Teares in the time of a generall Pestilence The Soliloquie Consisting of sixe severall parts and treating of 1 Mourning by example in a publike calamitie 2 Severall causes of God's visitations 3 Sinne especially the cause of the Pestilence 4 Severall examples of dreadfull Pestilences 5 God's threatning before his visitation 6 The duety of a Christian decreeing both to whom and for whom wee ought to pray in the time of Pestilence The first part of the Soliloquie treating of mourning by example in a publike calamitie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words ô Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voyce of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray THe heart of the wise is in the house of mourning Eccl 7.4 saith Solomon but the heart of fooles is in the house of mirth Is the heart then sometimes in a pilgrimage from the body Or is the body required to visit the sick yea though the disease be infectious Or are wee allways by command Ps 42.3 to imitate the Prophet whose teares were his meate day and night The heart indeede is often from home and is least where it liveth most where it loveth The sick must be visited or else my Saviour will complaine as hee doth in the Gospel saying I was sick Mat 25 43. Iob 2.11 and yee visited mee not When Iob's three friends heard of the evill that was come upon him they came every one from his owne place for they had made an appointment together to come to mourne with him and to comfort him vers 13 So they sate downe with him upon the ground 2. King 13.14 and mourned seaven dayes and seaven nights When Elisha was fallen sick of his sicknesse wherewith hee dyed Ioash the King of Israël came downe unto him and wept over his face and said O my father my father the charet of Israel and the horse-men thereof c 8.29 When wicked King Ioram went to be healed in Iezreel of the wounds which the Syrians had given him at Ramah Ahaziah the sonne of heboram King of Iudah went downe to see him in Iezreel because hee was sick Thus doe I reade of a holy Patient visited by friendly mourners a holy Prophet visited by a weeping King a wicked King visited by another as wicked as himselfe All these were visiters or visited but I doe not find that the diseases were infectious Noe I must therfore imitate the best of them in my charitie to others but I may not forget charity to my selfe Willfully to runne into apparent danger is desperately to tempt the keeper of Israel What shall I then doe The passing bells informe mine eares of the mortalitie of my neighbours yet I cannot I must not visit them What I say shall I doe What course shall I take Charitie commandeth mee compassion hasteneth mee to the dying Christians that by my advice or at least by my prayers I might expresse my commiseration And yet when I am just at my doore provided resolved intended to goe even then mine owne health the health of my familie and which is
then light because the deedos there of are evill so that if it could have seene it is now stark blind Or if it be not blind I am sure that I am blind I can see none of it Hos 13 8. 'T is true the reason of it is because there is a caule growe's over it and I have noe body to help mee as Ephraim had to rend the caule off it that so I might see 1 King 8.38 Or else it is an infected one 't is visited with the sicknesse with the plague and yet I doe not know the plague of mine owne heart or else it is wicked so wicked that like unto Shimei I cannot learne c 2.44 I doe not know all the wickednesse that mine heart is privie to and if it bee thus wicked Pro 10.20 I have but small comfort from King Salomon for hee tell 's mee that the heart of the wicked is litle worth So that whether my heart be dry or dead or fatt or blind or hidden or infected with the plague or wicked what am I the better for it Nay am I not farre worse infinitely worse rather And yet now I thinke upon it now I examine my selfe a litle better I have just none at all True it is that once I had one but may I not say as the Prophet did that whoredome Hos 4.11 and wine and new wine have taken it away 'T is stollen away sin hath stollen it quite away unawares of mee just as Iacob stole away un awares to Laban or as Absalom stole away the hearts of the men of Israel from his father Gen. 31.20 2. Sam. 15.6 when they came to the King for judgment Alasse I should have kept it in deede I should have kept it with all diligence if I had taken the advise of the wise King Salomon Prov. 4.23 1 Thes 3.13 2 Thes 2.17 Heb 13 9. Deut 20.3 for out of it are the issues of life I should have established it or have beg'd of God that hee would have established it unblameable in holinesse that hee would have established it in every good word and worke for it is a good thing that the heart be established with grace I felt it fainting when I feared trembled and was terrified and then I should have had a David to comfort mee and to say unto mee Ps 31.24 Be of good courage and God shall strengthen thine heart thou that hopest in the Lord. I should have spoken kindly to it as Shechem did to Dinah Gen 34 3. when his soule clave unto her and he loved the damosel and spake kindly to her to her heart Prov. 27.9 I should have rejoyced it as Solomon say's with oyntment and perfume with the oyntment of my teares Rev. 5.8 Iud 19 5. and a golden violl full of such odours as St. Iohn speaketh of which are the prayers of the saints I should have comforted it not with a morsell of bread as the Levite was advised by the father of his concubine not of or from or by my selfe but I should have prayed unto God 2. Cor. 1.3 even the father of our Lord Iesus Christ as S. Paul did thank him for the Corinthians the father of mercies and the God of all comfort vers 4. to comfort it in tribulations that I might have beene able to comfort them which are in any trouble by the comfort wherewith I my selfe had ben comforted of God It was grieved with in mee Ps 73.24 and I was pricked in my reines But I should have made it like Aaron at the sight of Moses who was glad in his heart Exod 4.14 Ps 4.7 or else I should have prayed to the Lord to have put gladnesse into it as he did into David's more then in the time when the corne and wine increased But now alasse 't is too late my poore heart is gone 't is stollen away from mee what shall I doe to recover it againe I will arise now Cant 3 2. and goe about the citty in the streetes and in the broad wayes I will seeke it vers 3. I will say to the watchmen that goe about the citty Saw yee a heart a poore distressed heart passe by this way that is runne a stray from mee I poore I know not where to find it Alasse 't is not worth any one's taking up 't is not worth the keepinge I 'le describe it unto you that if yee heare of it of such a heart or happē to meete it yee may send it mee home againe and I may give it due correction for playing the vagrant the run-agate That heart which once did dwell in my breast is the most unthankfull guest that ever was harboured in the bosome of a woman It is the greate accuser of my selfe for mine offences and not content with that having arraigued mee for my sinns it hath condemned mee as guilty Ier 17.9 It is a cozening deceitfull heart it is deceit full above all things and desperately wicked even more then I can know full it is of tricks full of delusions there are many devices in it Prov 19.21 Ps 38.8 Ps 64.6 Ps 101.4 It is a troublsome heart in so much as many times I have roared by reason of the disquietnesse of it 'T is a deepe heart not easily pryed into both my inward thoughts my heartit selfe have beene very deepe It is a fro◅ard heart so froward that now 't is runne away frō me Zech 8.17 Mar 15 19. 't is departed It is an evill heart a heart that was always imagining evill and so greate evill that out of it have proceeded evill thoughts murders adulteries fornications thefts false witnesse blasphemies Gen 8.21.6.5 Iob 27.6 It hath beene evill even from my youth every imagination of the thoughts of it were onely evill continually It is a reproaching heart not like unto Iob's who sayd His heart should not smite him so long as hee lived It is a troubled heart Ps 25.17 Ier 4.19 the troubles there of have bene enlarged in so much as I have beene enforced to cry out My bowels my bowels I have beene pained at it it made a noise in mee that I could not hold my peace Lam 1.20 my bowells have beene troubled for my heart hath beene turned in mee 'T is a cowardly trembling heart Deut. 28.65 I had an extreame trembling at it when it was at home and failing of eyes and sorrow of mind it would tremble like Elies for the arke of God 1. Sam. 4.13 Deut 28.28 c 11.16 2. Sam 24.10 1. Chr. 12.33 Ps 12.2 Iam 4.8 Dan 5.21 Exo. 4.21 Heb 3.8 Rom. 2 5. Pro 28 14. Mar 16 14. Eph 4 1◠It would so grievously tremble that I have beene smitten with madnesse and blindnesse and astonishment of it It is an idolatrous heart a heart apt to be deceaved to turne aside serve other Gods
and naked When the Israëlites were to give an offering to the Lord to make an atonement for their soules Ex 30.15 the rich were not to give more nor the poore to give lesse then halfe a shekel If God should require so much at my hands I should be apt to pleade the want of money or if I had so much I feare that I should appeare too unwilling to spare it But all coveteousnesse is a distrust of providence and either denyeth the power or questioneth the will of the greate disposer Hee provided for the poorest Israëlite on him therfore must I depend for reliefe comfort Something hee require's that I should offer unto him I have nothing of the world's All that I can offer is but my selfe and certainly my selfe shall be best accepted If I can but present him an honest heart it matter 's not how hungry or thirstie or cold or naked the body is which conteineth that heart Iob. 34.19 Hee accepteth not the persons of Princes nor regardeth the rich more then the poore for they all are the worke of his hands The rich may offer to him of their aboundance Mar 12 44. but I of my want will give him my heart which is all that I have Peradventure hee will say of mee vers 43 as hee did once of the widdow This poore woman hath cast more in then all they that have cast into the treasurie Thus if I sieke the Lord I cannot want for so the Prophet telleth mee Ps 34.10 The young Lyons doe lack and suffer hunger but they that sieke the Lord shall not want any good thing Saint Paul assureth mee saying 1. Cor 3.22 Whether Paul or Apollos or Cephas or the world or life or death or things present or things to come vers 23 all are yours and yee are Christ's and Christ is God's And now what can I feare Whereat can I be displeased God is mine and I am his For what hee giveth mee I will be thankfull whatsoever earthly thing hee depriveth mee of I will be contented This poverty will not endure for ever If it continueth while I live yet it must end when I die that blessed time draweth neerer and neerer every moment I am assured of a deliverance I must attend with patience Afflicted Iob doe's certainly assure mee that Iob. 36.15 God delivereth the poore in his affliction and openeth their eares in oppression The same God promised to Tzion saying I will abundantly blesse her provision Ps 132.15 I will satisfie her poore with bread The Psalmist refresheth mee with unspeakeable comfort when hee telleth mee that Ps 9.18 Ps 72.12 The needy shall not allways be forgotten the expectation of the poore shall not perish for ever The Lord shall deliver the needy when hee cryeth the poore allso and him that hath noe helper Hee will defend the poore Ps 82.3 and fatherlesse hee will doe justice to the afflicted and needy Ps 140.12 Hee will maintaine the cause of the afflicted and the right of the poore Thus am I promised and thus shall it be performed It is noe new thing with God to take pitty upon the distressed The Prophet Isaiah saith unto him Thou hast beene a strength to the poore Is 25.4 a strength to the needy in his distresse a refuge from the storme a shadow from the heate Ps 34.6 This poore man cryed saith David and the Lord heard him and saved him out of all his troubles Againe Hee raiseth up the poore out of the dust Ps 113.7 Ps 10.14 Heb. 13 5. and lifteth the needy out of the dung-hill Therfore I resolve that I will commit my selfe unto him for hee is the helper of the friendlesse Hee hath promised that hee will never leave nor forsake them that trust in him Parents are commonly indulgent to their children yet because their naturall affection is possible to be quenched therfore say's the Psalmist When my father and my mother forsake mee Ps 27.10 then the Lord will take mee up I will therfore begge seing now I am poore I will begge of God because hee is rich I will begge of God to keepe mee to love mee to blesse mee that so I may never forsake my dependance on him nor hee his love and compassion to mee Earnestly will I besiech him and confidently will I resolve Rom 8 38. that Neither death nor life nor Angells nor principalities nor powers nor things present vers 39. nor things to come nor height nor depth nor any other creature shall ever be able to separate mee from the love of God which is in Iesus Christ our Lord. The Prayer FAther of pitties Lord of comfort thou that hearest the cryes of the afflicted Iob. 34.28 Ps 32.4 looke downe in mercy on a distressed sinner Thy hand ô God is heavy upon mee for thou hast taken from mee what I called mine by reason that I did not acknowledg it thine ô Lord thou knowest my bleeding heart my sorrowfull eyes and my mournfull teares Thou seest how poore I am and what miseries I suffer Ps 44.13 I am a scorne to my neighbours and a derision to them that are round about mee My life is become a burden unto mee because thou hast deprived mee of the comforts thereof My lovers Ps 38.11 and mine acquaintance stand looking upon my miserie and my kinsmen stand a farre off Lord if it be thy pleasure thus to humble mee with poverty let it be thy goodnesse to give mee patience to endure it The pride of my heart and my forgetfullnesse of thee in the time of plenty did cry aloud for thy severest punishments Now ô now I feele thy just displeasure and I groane under the burden and weight thereof Yet thou Lord canst ease mee thou canst restore mee Heare Lord and have mercy Lord Ps 30.10 be thou my helper Suffer mee noe more to rely upon the arme of flesh 1. Tim 6.17 or to put my trust in un-certaine riches but make mee for ever depend upon thy bounty Forgive mee ô father the sinnes which I committed when I lived in prosperitie Ps 30.7 for I am sensible that they are a cause why at this time thou hidest thy face from mee and causest mee to be troubled O give mee a sight and sense of the greatnesse of them and true contrition and sorrow for them that so though the world forsake mee yet I may find favour and mercy in thy sight Without thy assistance this sore burden is too heavy for mee to beare Ps 38.4 Lord either remove it from mee or make it easier for mee Lend mee thy gratious and helping hand Ps 23.4 that as I am scourged with thy rod so I may leane upon thy staffe Let mee never despaire of thy comfortable reliefe but in all my miseries be thou my refuge Be pleased to endue mee with patience from above that I may give noe
send out sight of sorrow 1. King 19.11 and the Lord shall be in the wind And with that wind shall be an earth-quake my enlivened earth shall quake with feare of the judgments of my God so the Lord shall be likewise in the earth-quake And with that earth-quake shall be fire vers 12 even the fire of love and zeale together so the Lord shall be in that fire And with that fire shall be a still small voyce and unto the Lord shall that voyce be directed for to him will I looke and pray and say The Prayer All-mighty Lord ever-lasting father who hast beene pleased to vouch safe mee the blessings of this life and to give mee my desires both in a husband and children be pleased to give mee a thankfull heart for these thy mercies It is thy goodnesse and not my merit that I have receaved from thee these blessings of thy bountie Iustly ô most justly mightest thou at once deprive mee of these comforts because I have neglected my obedience to the one and my care of the other Humbly ô my God and with a bleeding heart I confesse my faylings and am sorrie for mine offences Lord be gracious to mee thy servant It is thy hand alone which hath preserved mee from the foule offences which many commit for without thy protection by nature I am noe better then that strange woman Pro 2.17 who forsaketh the guide of her youth and forgetteth the covenant of her God By nature I am carnally worse by farre then were Aholah and Aholibah spiritually who committed whoredomes in their youth Eze 23 3. Lord make mee ever acknowledg this thy protection and testifie my thankfullnesse in my industrious care to performe my dutyes Be thou stil the protectour and the gracious defender both of mee and mine Blesse him whom thou hast sett over mee and graunt that hee may dwell with mee according to knowledg 1. Pet. 3.7 that so wee being heires together of the grace of life our prayers may not be hindered As thou hast made mee a fruitfull vine by the walls of his house so make mee endeavour to be fruitfull in good workes Ps 128.3 Col 1.10 Ps 128 3. Ps 52.8 Prov. 19.14 c 5.18 Ps 141.3 Prov. 11.16 c 12.4 c 14.1 c 31.10 vers 30 and increase to be fruitfull in good Workes and increase in the knowledg of thee my God Let those Olive branches about my table be every one of them like a greene Olive in the house of thee ô my God and trust in thy mercy for ever and ever Make mee to my husband a prudent wife as sent from thee that hee may rejoyce with mee the wife of his youth To this purpose set â watch ô Lord before my mouth and keepe the doore of my lippes Make mee a gracious woman retaining honour that I may be a crowne to my husband a wise woman labouring to build up my house and familie and a vertuous woman fearing thee Heare mee ô my God and graunt mee my petitions for the worthinesse of him who is an indulgent husband to his Spouse the Church even Iesus Christ my onely Lord and Saviour Amen subject 10 THE TENTH SUBJECT Teares of an Aged woman The Soliloquie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words o Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray THe dayes of our age are three-score yeeres and ten Ps 90.10 saith David and if by reason of strength they be foure-score yeeres yet is their strength labour and sorrow for it is soone cut off and wee flee away Lord how true diddest thou speake by the mouth of that Prophet True I find it who have now accomplished the number of so many yeeres My strength is labour not because of any paines which I take but onely by reason of the paines which I suffer Age hath beene allwayes freed from worke because it suffereth more in a languishing weakenesse then the young and lustie doe in their travells Num 8 24. From twentie and five yeeres old and upward the Levites were required to wayte upon the service of the Tabernacle of the congregation vers 25 And from the age of fiftie yeeres they were to cease wayting upon the service thereof and to serve noe more God will have the best of our time yea all for his service But alasse the custome is too common among us to serve our selves at least untill fiftie and it may be then or not so soone wee thinke upon God But why should wee not rather render the yeeres of our strength to the God of our strength Ps 43.2 The fault which I complaine of is too frequent among others but can I excuse my selfe from the guilt thereof I now beginne to thinke upon the service of my God when through age I am noe more able to serve my selfe Every thing disturbeth and tormenteth my aged limbes even my very apparell becometh a burden O why doe people so fondly desire to live to be aged Have the gray haires delight or the parched and dryed body any pleasure Alasse noe I find it hath not This this is the time which the Preacher speaketh of Eccl 12.2 Now the Sunne and the light and the moone and the starres are darkened and the clowdes returne after the raine The beautie of the countenance which shined like the Sunne the skiecolloured eyes the apples of those eyes which sparkeled like the Starres are growen dimme and obscure The eye-lidds are filled with waters like a swollen cloude labouring in the deliverie of it's mournefull burden Pleasures and delights and joyes and merriments have now with-drawne the lustre of their glory and paines and dolours and griefes and sadnesse have benighted my feeble and crazie body Now the keepers of the house tremble vers 3. and the strong men bowe themselves and the grinders cease because they are few and those that looke out of the windowes be darkened My knees which were the supporters of this walking dust begin to creeckle and tremble under their oppressing burden Mine armes and hands have forgotten their stedfastnesse and quake and faint in the execution of their just commands The teeth which prepared the meate for the stomack are fled away from their narrow chambers and left the open doores the hollow gummes in trust to mock my desires Those eyes which once could dazell the spectatours sate proudly in their thrones darting their rayes upon their desired objects have now the curtaines of age drawne over their flames and the vayle of antiquitie eclipseth their glory Now the doores are shut in the streetes vers 4. and the sound of the grinding is lowe and here is rising up at the voyce of the bird and the daughters of musick are brought low My feete are afflicted with lamenesse that they cannot any longer carie mee into the streetes The sound of the grinding
and my petitions to God must be likewise upon conditions when I begge of him but temporall blessings His blessings descend not unlesse they be called downe by my religious obedience nor may I pray for the blessings which concerne this life but with this condition If they may stand with his pleasure In his power it is to graunt the suite which so earnestly I make I wish it may be his pleasure to fullfill my desires Barren Sarai was promised a sonne and Isaak was borne Gen. 21 2.3 Lu 1.7 vers 57 Gen. 29 31. c 30.22 vers 23 Though Zacharias and Elizabeth were stricken in yeeres and Elizabeth was barren yet they were blessed with Iohn the Baptist. Though Leah was hated by reason of her barrennesse yet wee reade that the Lord did open her wombe God remembred Rachel and hearkened unto her and opened her wombe and shee conceaved and bare a sonne and sayd God hath taken away my reproach The wife of Manoah the Danite was barren Iud. 13.2 vers 3. vers 14 yet the Angel of the Lord appeared unto her and sayd unto her Behold now thou art barren and bearest not but thou shalt conceave and beare a sonne And the woman bare a sonne called his name Samson and the child grew and the Lord blessed him 1. Sam. 1.10 Barren Hannah was in bitternesse of soule for want of a child when Peninnah her fruitfull rivall provoked her sore to make her fret vers 6. vers 20 because the Lord had shut up her wombe and shee had a sonne whom shee named Samuel Thus may God if hee please looke upon my reproach and send mee a child which I may dedicate to his service I will therfore follow the stepps of Hannah the devout vers 15 I will weepe with her and I will fast with her and with her will I powre out my soule before the Lord. Who knoweth but my teares may prevayle through the merits of my Redeemer and my sobbs and sighes may draw downe a blessing Ps 30.8 On my knees therfore will I goe unto the Lord and gett mee unto my Lord right humbly I will weepe and pray and mourne and pray and sigh and pray and praying I will say The Prayer HEeavenly King father of mercies Ps 72.5 thou who tookest mee out of my mother's wombe but hast denyed unto mee the fruit of mine vouchsafe to looke upon the reproach of thy servant I know that my sinnes doe stoppe the current of thy mercies but it is thine honour that thou art a forgiver of offences Forgive my sinnes the cause of thy curse and heale the barrennesse of thy despised hand-mayd 1. Sam. 1.11 O Lord of hosts if thou wilt indeede looke upon the affliction of thine hand-mayd and remember mee and not forget thine hand-mayd but wilt give unto thine hand-mayd a man-child then I will give him unto thee all the dayes of his life Thou knowest that I am a woman of a sorrowfull spirit and out of the aboundance of my complaint vers 16 and griefe doe I pray unto thee Send mee I beseech thee a Samuël even such a child as I have asked of thee if it may stand with the pleasure of thee my Lord and King that may bring honour unto thee and comfort unto thy petitioner I shall never bee satisfied untill thou hearest my supplications Pro. 30 15. Either graunt my desires or arme mee with patience that in all things I may serve thee with quietnesse Mat 4.28 and content The earth thou hast made to bring forth fruit of her selfe and it is as easie for thee to blesse mee with increase But if thou hast otherwise determined in thy secret will howsoever graunt that I may never conceave wickednesse in my heart Act 5.4 to whom thou denyest the conception of a child Iam. 1.15 Let not lust conceave in mee lest it bring forth sinne and sinne when it is finished bring forth death Say unto my heart as effectually as once thou didst unto the fig-tree Mat 21 19. Gal 5.22 vers 23 Heb. 12 11. let noe such fruit grow on thee hence forth for ever but let mee allways produce the fruits of the spirit against which thine Apostle assureth mee that there is noe law Let this thy chastening yeeld unto mee the peaceable fruit of righteousnesse since I am exercised therein so shall I willingly submit to thy pleasure and beseech thee to graunt mee comfort and joy in that blessed sonne of a happie woman even Iesus Christ my onely Lord and Saviour Amen THE TWELFTH SUBjECT Teares of a child-bearing woman 1 At the time when she beginneth to fall in travell 2 After her deliverie I st Her teares when she beginneth to fall in travell The Soliloquie consisting of three parts viz 1 The cause of the sorrow and the confidence of the sorrowing 2 The greatenesse of the pangs hazards and feares of a travelling woman 3 Consolation and comfort for a woman in the bitternesse of her travell The first part of the Soliloquie treating of the cause of the sorrow and the confidence of the sorrowing THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words ô Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voyce of my cry my King and my God for unto the will I pray VVHen David confessed his actuall crimes hee forgot not the guilt of originall corruption therfore he professed saying Behold I was shapen in iniquitie vers 5. and in sinne did my mother conceave mee By the corruption of nature even Saint Paul himselfe was not without sinne that dwelled in him That which is borne of the flesh is flesh Rom 7 17. Io. 3.6 as my Saviour himselfe did tell Nicoden us and this flesh concludeth us all to be carnall Rom 7 14. and sold under sinne This originall stayne is the ground of all our actuall impieties justly therfore is the birth of a child accompanied with the torments and sorrowes of the mother left women should forget the tast of the apple I will greatly multiply thy sorrow Gen 3.16 and thy conception sayd the Lord unto Eve in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children O this heavie chastisement doth now approach to make mee sensible of my sinfull beginning As I caused the teares to flow from the eyes of my groaning mother so now even in mine eyes doe they likewise arise through the pangs which doe seize on mee by reason of my babe Lord what a trembling possesseth every joynt of mee and when I hope for ease by changing my seate or lying on my Couch or attempting to walke even in every place doeth the sharpnesse of the paine increase its strength and though I multiply my cryes yet mine anguish ceaseth not O what miserable perplexities are wee weake and sinfull women involved in Wee who can worst endure are most afflicted and allthough our tempers and constitutions conclude us weaker by farre then our husbands
to beare or her patience to endure O what shall I doe What shall I doe I cry Ps 38.8 I reare for the very disquietnesse of my heart But hath not God promised to beare my cry and to helpe mee Hath hee not commanded mee to call upon him in the day of trouble Ps 50.15 and then promised that hee will deliver mee and I shall glorifie him Now ô now is the time for the fullfilling of his promise This this is the day of my trouble Ps 143.7 My spirit is waxed faint my friends are disturbed all eyes here pitty mee and weepe for my sufferances and grieve that they cannot ease mee But what shall I doe Shall I despaire of his mercy who hath promised mee deliverance O noe I may not I dare not I dare not I will not ps 71.5 vers 6. The Lord God shall be my hope hee who hath beene my trust from my youth By him have I beene holden up from the wombe hee it is who tooke mee out of my mother's bowells and may deliver mee of mine infant my praise shall therfore be ever of him I cannot choose but thinke that Tamar had pangs as greate as mine can be when shee laboured of the twins Gen 38 27. I cannot choose but imagine that Rebekah suffered as much as I doe c 25.22 when Esau and Iacob struggled in her wombe If these were freed from their paines delivered of their children Why should I complaine so much of my torments and forget what greater I have justly merited Should I live a thousand yeeres in one continued and most bitter throw yet would it not be comparable to a minuit of sufferance in the infernall flames and yet eternitie of those have I wickedly merited allthough I feele them not Seeing then that my God is so good as not onely to send mee here lesse torment then I deserve but allso to assure mee of an escape from those infernall horrours why should I repine at these lesser sufferances Sometimes I find a comfortable intermission my pangs are not constant and continued I have times to breath and provide for the next Surely hee who sometimes refresheth mee with respite and cessation doeth intend that in my paine I should rely upon his mercy Is 66.5 vers 9. Let him therfore be glorified and hee shall appeare to my joy Shall hee bring to the birth and not cause to bring forth Shall I cause to bring forth and shut the wombe saith the Lord God There is comfort in his promises there is ease in his mercy I must wayte the time of his pleasure and then shall I have the content which hee hath promised his chosen My pangs may endure for a while but they shall not continue long 1. Tim. 2.14 This chastisement is sent to put mee in mind that Adani was not deceaved but the woman being deceaved was in transgression Yet to my comfort let mee likewise remember that the Apostle addeth Notwithstanding shee shall be saved in child bearing vers 15 if they continue in faith and charity and holinesse with sobriety By child-bearing is meant the plunges which I am in as well as the cares of education the rest of the dueties to which wee are obliged Doe thou ô my Iesus strengthen my faith in the assurance of thy merits renew my love and my charity both to my maker and my neighbour sanctifie mee ô blessed Spirit that I may continue in holinesse and give mee patience that I may endure with sobrietie and peace what I must goe thorough The time may come that this child may blesse the wombe that bare it Lue 11 27. and these pappes which my God may spare to give suck unto it His will must be fullfilled and my will must submit If hee spare mee life I will render him thanks If hee give mee my child I will dedicate it to his service but if it be his pleasure through this tribulation to end my dayes then I know and am assured that hee will wipe away all teares from mine eyes Reu. 21.4 Then hee will bring mee to his heavenly throane where shall be noe more death neither sorrow nor crying neither shall there be any more paine for the former things shall be passed away The Prayer O My Lord and my God my heavenly father my mercifull Iesus thou who hast filled my belly with thine hidden treasure Ps 17.14 and now hast brought mee to hope and depend in the middest of mine anguish upon thy wonted mercies bow downe thine eare and hearken to the cryes of a pained woman Vnto thee ô Lord doe I crye Ps 142 5. thou art my refuge and my portion in the land of the living attend therfore unto my cry vers 6. Ps 119 153. Ps 69.29 for I am brought very low Consider mine affliction and deliver mee for I doe not forget thy law I am poore and sorrowfull let thy salvation ô God set mee up on high Ps 38.8 I am feeble and sore smitten I roare by reason of the disquietnesse of my heart vers 9. 1. Tim. 4.10 Ps 18.1 vers 2. All my desire is before thee and my groaning is not hid from thee In thee I trust who art the living God who art the saviour of all especially of them that believe I love thee ô Lord my strength thou art my rock and my fortresse my strength in whom I trust my buckler the horne of my salvation and my high tower Ps 7.1 Ps 20.1 ô save mee now in this heavie visitation and deliver thy servant Heare mee ô Lord in this day of trouble thy name ô God of Iacob vers 2. defend mee Send mee helpe from thy sanctuarie Ps 25.16 strengthen mee out of Sion Turne thee unto mee and have mercy upon mee for I am desolate vers 17 and afflicted The troubles of my heart are enlarged ô bring thou mee out of my distresses vers 18 Looke upon mine affliction and my paine vers 20 and forgive all my sinnes O keepe my soule deliver mee let mee not be confounded for I put my trust in thee Ps 71.1 In thee alone doe I put my trust vers 2. let mee never be put to confusion but deliver mee in thy righteousnesse and cause mee to escape incline thine eare unto mee and save mee Ps 40.13 Be pleased ô Lord to deliver mee ô Lord make hast to helpe mee Give a happie end to these my torments that I may enjoy the fruit of my wombe for which I suffer them O Lord in mercy if it may stand with thine eternall decree preserve both my life and the life of mine issue Arme mee with patience to undergoe these pangs and in the â—nd give mee comfort in what thou shalt send mee If otherwise thou hast determined to end my life by these heavy torments ô my sweete and mercifull Iesus receave mee into thy bosome that I
to submit with cheerefullnesse to this thy chastisement and to repent mee of my sinnes which brought this affliction Were it not just for mee to make my complaint in the bitternesse of my sorrowes thou wouldest not have commanded Zion to lament like a virgin girded with sack-cloth for the husband of her youth Thou Lam 1.8 ô Lord doest behould my sorrow and the griefe of my heart because thou hast taken from mee the desire of mine eyes Eze 24 16. and the joy of my heart Be pleased ô my God so to open the eyes of my soule and understanding that I may see as cleerely the cause of thy stroake as I am sensible of the losse of him that was my guide Though hee was sent to be the head of my body yet thou ô God didst offer thy selfe to be the husband of my soule but to my shame I must confesse that I followed the stepps of Samaria Eze 16 45. of Sodome and of Ierusalem and loathed thee my Lord and my husband justly therfore mightest thou say of mee as thou once didst speake of the church of the Iewes Hos 2.2 Shee is not my wife neither am I her husband But ô thou father of mercies for give my back-slidings and adde not affliction to affliction lest I faint under thy rod. Is 47.9 Spirituall widow-hood was a curse which once thou didst threaten unto Babylon ô let it not fall upon mee Allthough thou hast taken him that was my husband yet be pleased to betroth mee to thy selfe for ever Hos 2.19 Say unto mee Ruchama thou hast obtained mercy vers 16 vers 19 and let mee answer thee Baali and Ishi my Lord and my husband Betroath mee unto thee in righteousnesse and in judgment and in loving-kindnesse vers 20 and in mercyes and in faithfullnesse and make mee know thee to be my Lord. 2. Cor 11.2 Send a Paul to espouse mee to one husband that so I may be presented as a chast virgin unto Christ. Give mee grace to doe as once thou commandedst the widowes of Edom Ier 49.11 1. Tim 5.5 even to trust in thee Though now I am desolate yet make mee for ever to trust in thee my God and continue in supplications and prayers night and day Thus let my sorrow be sanctified and my trust and confidence reposed in thee that so I may serve thee with cheerefullnesse endure thy visitation with patience and in the end that I may goe to that place where I trust thou hast crowned my husband and where my Saviour is certainly gone before even to the Kingdome of happinesse and that through the merits and intercession of the same Iesus Christ my onely Lord and Saviour Amen subject 20 THE TWENTIETH SUBJECT A woman's teares at the funer all of her husband The Soliloquie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words ô Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voyce of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray WHen Sarah dyed in Kiriath-Arba Abraham stood up from before his deceased wife Gen 23 3. and spake unto the sonnes of Heth vers 4. saying I am a stranger and a sojourner with you give mee a possession and a burying place with you that I may bury my dead out of my fight Though hee so tenderly affected her whilest shee was living yet hee would not looke to long on her when shee was dead It is a duety as full of humanitie to interre with decency the bodies of the dead as it is of religion to love the persone when they are alive Yet vaine is man in this affection if hee fixeth his love onely on the beautie of the body This flesh which is so tender this skinne which I strive to preserve both smooth and white must one day be a banquet for the loathed wormes Noe greater priviledg belongeth to mee then did to my hushand for the time will come when I shall follow him to the earth Had I loved onely his outward forme my love should now either quite be forgotten or else I should fondly defire to deny it interment but it was his body enlivened with a rich and excellent soule which drew mine affection and commanded my desires Had that soule and body continued their societie I had beene freed from my laments but they have bid fare-well 'till the generall resurrection and hence am I enforced to utter my complaints I weepe for my losse because wee are divorced but ô what conflicts then can I imagine that hee had wheÌ„ hee was not onely to part from his indeared wife but likewise his soule was to leave this chillowed â—earth Oh for him for him for my losse of him doe I pay the tribute of these watering eyes Yet these teares must not flow in too greate aboundance lest by them I should seeme to envy his happinesse Even when his body shall be layed to sleepe in the grave if I mourne too much it will be justly suspected that too much I loved the worst of my husband His soule which was his best is now in perfection and may not be lamented his body which is the worse and grosser part of him is now to be committed to the earth whence it came Thither it must goe to that place I must commend it otherwise my former love may be turned into loathing and that which I esteemed when it was alive I shall be forced to abhorre if I keepe it from the grave O it grieveth mee each minuit that I thinke of my deerest it troubleth and perplexeth mee with disturbed thoughts when I consider how servently I loved him yet cannot enliven him But these are onely the fond conceptions of an erring phantisie and tell mee that I loved him more then I should or else now I would not grieve so much as I doe If my love to God be so greate as I pretend I shall thankfully acknowledg his love to the departed O let it never be said that my love was idolatrie in affecting him too much who is but dust and ashes But why sit I museing in these pensive thoughts when I should rather prepare for the buriall of the dead Have I taken a course for the place of his rest where his cold body may be layed to sleepe This is a duety which every age hath beene carefull to performe It was a greater argument of Iehojakim's furie against Vryah the Prophet Ier. 26.23 that hee cast his dead body into the graves of the common people then that hee slew him with the sword It hath allso beene a testimonie of God's revenge when hee suffered not the dead to have a decent interment Eccl 6.3 If a man beget an hundred children saith the Preacher and live many yeeres so that the dayes of his yeeres be many and his soule be not filled with good and allso that hee have noe buriall I say that an untimely birth is better then hee VVhen the
ceremeniall law yea a Priest himselfe was allowed these acts so naturall and pious Though touching the Nazarites the command was strickt which the Lord delivered unto Moses Num. 6 1. vers 2. saying Say unto the children of Israel when either man or woman shall seperate themselves to vow a vow of a Nazarite to seperate themselves unto the Lord vers 6. all the dayes that hee seperateth himselfe unto the Lord hee shall come at noe dead body vers 7. hee shall not make himselfe un-cleane for his father or for his mother for his brother or for his sister when they dye because the consecration of his God is upon his head Yet whereas the law said Eze 44 25. The Priests shall come at noe dead person to defile themselves it ran with this exception But for father or for mother or for sonne or for daughter for brother or for sister that hath had noe husband they may defile themselves And againe concerning the common people the law provideth saying Num 19.16 Whosoever toucheth one that is slaine with the sword in the open fields or a dead bodie or a bone of a man or a grave shall be uncleane but the time of his un-cleanesse was to continue but seaven dayes That law hath now noe power to oblige us who are under the Gospel I may touch my dead parent and embrace him yea and kisse him at least in my thoughts when I cannot come to his body And so I will and if there remaine any un-cleanesse in my cogitations I will purifie I will wash it away with the bath of my teares Allthough my sorrowes cannot call him from the grave yet they have power both to discover mine affection and to satisfie my desires Heb 11 35. In ancient times women had their dead raised to life againe This indeede is too much for mee to expect yet it will not be too much for mee to mourne with those women who were afterward thus comforted But then I must be just in my mourning As my love may lawfully be shewed in my teares so must my religion be manifested in my moderation It was a curse upon the Iewes which the Prophet pronounced when hee said Men shall not teare themselves for them in mourning Ier. 16.7 to comfort them for the dead neither shall men give them the cupp of consolation to drinke for their father or for their mother I must not exceede the bounds of modestie in my cryes lamentations but I must drinke rather of the cupp of consolation and hearken to the advice and counsell of my comforters Nature indeede may be seene in a teare and heard in a sigh but if those teares be too many or those sighes too frequent or too lowde my very sorrowes may be sinfull for my want of patience Hee for whom I grieve is better then my selfe and his condition is full of joy and delight why then should I mourne too excessively as if hee were lost why should I grieve too immoderately as if I despaired of a father Hee is gone to a place where hee is freed from sorrowes and can dye noe more onely I am on earth in a valley of teares but I shall have a time to dye too and be gathered unto him In heaven saith Saint Iohn there shall be noe more death Reu. 21.4 neither sorrow nor crying neither shall there be any more paine for the former things are passed away My Redeemer saith that they which shall be accounted worthy to obtaine that world Luc. 20 35. the resurrection from the dead neither marrie nor are given in mariage neither can they dye any more vers 36 for they are equall unto the Angells and are the children of God being the children of the resurrection VVhy then should I lament for him who needeth not my sorrowes and my teares are but a fruitlesse disturbance of my selfe If I am troubled at the losse of a friend so deare I must rather labour to be beloved of my God who is so good I shall one day learne with holy Iob Iob. 17 14. to say to corruption Thou art my father and to the worme Thou art my mother and my sister There is yet something earthly therfore which I shall acknowledge a parent but I must take heede that nothing upon earth doeth make mee an idolater The house of Israel was once so sottish as to say to a stock Ier 2.27 Thou art my father to a stone Thou hast brought mee forth This were a stupid madnesse in mee if I should so dis-honour the memorie of my father as to make the timber succeede him in my reverence But more impious it would prove if I should reject my heavenly father and insteed of him I should honour as Israel did a stock or a stone The greater that my losse is in my deceased parent the more must be my obedience to the father of lights Iam. 1.17 Heb. 12 9. Hee who is and must be the father of my spirit did lend unto mee for a time the father of my flesh Hee hath allso taken from mee my naturall parent that my thoughts may be ever fixed upon him with whom hee dwelleth If my trust be in God my comforts will abound my sorrowes will decrease If my name be written among the righteous my share shall be equall to theirs in the protection of my God Hee hath ever beene mercifull to them that were fatherlesse so that they relyed on his providence and served him with faithfullnesse Ps 27.10 Ps 68.5 When my father and my mother forsake mee saith the Psalmist then the Lord will take mee up a father of the fatherlesse is God in his holy habitation O that I might have the honour to be his child that so I might justly call him father O that I could truely say unto him Thou art my father my God Ps 89.26 Is 63.16 Ier. 3.19 2. Cor. 6.18 and the rock of my salvation O that I could faithfully say Thou ô Lord art my father my Redeemer thy name is from ever-lasting O that I could call him my father and not turne away from him His mercies are greate his promises are full of comfort I will be a father unto you and yee shall be my sonnes and daughters saith the Lord All-mighty O what shall I doe that I may be sure to be adopted into the number of his children Alas as I am I have but litle hope of it for hee is pure but I am un-cleane but I will wash my selfe with my teares of repentance and beseech his Sonne to cleanse mee with his blood Hee is righteous but I am sinfull but I will confesse my wickednesse Ps 38.18 and be sorrie for my sinnes and then I am sure hee will aboundantly pardon Lord though I have beene thine enemie thou canst make mee thy friend though I have hated thee thou canst incline mee to love thee though I have beene rebellious thou
canst make mee thy child O be pleased to hearken to the intercession of mine advocate pleading for mee to the intercession of thy Christ who was obedient to thee to the intercession of my Iesus who was crucified for mee In him be reconciled unto mee for I am well assured that like as a father pittieth his children Ps 103 13. so thou Lord doest pittie them that feare thee This ô this is the way where in I must walke Thus yea onely thus shall I have a father both dead and alive Hee who is dead shall not b◠immoderately bewayled because hee that is ever living shall wipe the teares from mine eyes Mine exchange shall be full of advantage For him who was willing to helpe mee yet was not able for him who loved mee but imperfectly and left mee irresistably I shall have a father whose will cannot be opposed whose power noe creature is able to resist whose love is in perfection and who is not subject either to change Dan 7.9 Ps 90.2 Ps 22.9 or dye Hee is the ancient of dayes hee is God from ever-lasting and world without end If I could say with David Thou didst make mee hope when I was upon my mother's breast as well as I can say with him Thou art hee that tooke mee out of my mother's wombe vers 10 if I could say that thou art my God from my mother's belly as well as I can say that I was cast upon thee from the wombe if I could say that I had allways served thee then should my praise be of thee continually Ps 71.6 and then should I be safe under the shadow of thy wings Hos 14 3. Ashur shall not save us saith Israel wee will not ride upon horses neither will wee say any more to the worke of our hands Yee are our God's for in thee ô God the fatherlesse findeth mercy In God doe the fatherlesse find mercy Ps 35.14 Why then doe I how downe my selfe thus heavily mourning for my father whereas I am assured if I serve and obey the righteous Lord that when my father and my mother forsake mee Ps 27.10 then the Lord will take mee up Hee that is dead was but the weake though the loving instrument to bring mee to life but hee that is living yea and liveth for ever and ever is the God both of power and mercy hee therfore for ever shall be my father Mal 2.10 Have wee not all one father Saith the Prophet Hath not one God created us Yes yes hee is a father to all by creation but hee will not be a father to all by regeneration Lu 12.32 His flock is but litle his children are not many I will therfore strive to be one of the smallest number for those alone shall inherit salvation His mercies were ever greate to the godly his compassions never failed the fatherlesse if they honoured him When David was promised that hee should have a Sonne even then the Lord did allso promise to be a father unto him 1. Ch◠17.13 I will be his father saith the Lord and hee shall be my Sonne I will not take my mercy away from him as I tooke it from him that was before thee But what shall I doe to gaine his protection How shall I perswade him to call mee his child If I love the memorie of my father more then I love him then I cannot possibly be worthy of him for so saith my Saviour Mat 10 37. Hee that loveth father or mother more then mee is not worthy of mee I will therfore strive to honour my God with the strength of my love in heart and in soule and that I may the better doe it I will imitate my dead father in all that was just and righteous in him but whereinsoever hee failed I will decline his stepps 1 King 22.52 Ahaziah was plagued because hee did evill in the sight of the Lord and walked in the way of his father and of his mother 2. Chr 22.3 Hee walked in the way of the house of Ahab for his mother was his counseller to doe wickedly It is not the losse of a parent which can prevaile for a blessing upon the child unlesse in the stead of him that was earthly hee be made a father who is Lord of heaven Hee looketh not on our afflictions with the eye of compassion unlesse wee looke up to him with the eye of faith and devotion Our miseries are but judgments unlesse wee amend and doe but prophesie unto us a destruction at hand When Ieroboam was fatherlesse hee was called to the congregation 1. King 12.20 c 11.26 and they made him King over Israel but hee whose hand at first was lifted against the Crowne and not content with that did afterwards put it forth against the man of God c 13.4 had it justly dryed up so that hee could not pull it in againe unto him Thus the losse of an earthly father could not protect a wicked orphane c 14.9 but hee who did evill above all that were before him and had gone and made other Gods and molten images to provoke the Lord to anger and had cast the Lord behind his back even upon his house was evill to be brought vers 10 The Lord will cutt off saith the text from Ieroboam him that pisseth against the wall and him that is shut up and left in Israel and will take away the remnant of the house of Ieroboam as a man taketh away dung 'till it be all gone But on the contrarie I find that unto the godly a father of the fatherless Ps 68.5 and a judge of the widowes is God in his holy habitation 1. King 7.13 vers 14 Hiram the Sonne of a widow of the tribe of Naptali whose father was a man of Tyre the same was filled with wisedome and understanding and cunning to worke all workes in brasse and was therfore sent for by King Solomon to build his house Gen 25 11. Est 2.7 After the death of Abraham it is said that the Lord blessed his Sonne Isaak After the death of Esther's father Mordecai the Iewe tooke her shee being his uncle's daughter for shee had neither father nor mother Hee tooke her for his owne daughter and afterward the Lord so blessed the orphane that shee came to sit upon the royall throne c 7.3 vers 17 Ps 10.14 and to be the preserver of her nation Thus the poore who commit themselves to God doe find assuredly that hee is a helper of the fatherlesse Hee executeth their judgment so saith Moses Deut 10.18 The Lord doeth execute the judgment of the fatherlesse By Moses allso hee forbiddeth the people saying Yee shall not afflict any widow Ex 22.22 or fatherlesse child Iob accuseth his pretended friends of an high offence when hee chargeth them Iob. 6.27 Is 10.2 saying Yee over-whelme the fatherlesse By the Prophet Isaiah a woe is
order unto him and in obedience to his commands I will love my neighbour as my selfe I will love him with the same affection as my selfe For his sake for whom I love my selfe even for God's For the same reason as my selfe even for grace conferred in this life present and for a certaine hope of eternall glory in the life to come In the same order as my selfe which shall be above the world but inferiour to my God Vpon the same ground as myselfe even because of the image of God imprinted in him and because hee is capable of immortall happinesse lastly as long as myselfe even from the beginning unto the end untill this fraile flesh shall be forsaken by my pensive my sad and sorrowfull soule And that my brethren my neighbours may be the better assured of my love which cannot be firme unlesse I accord with them in the same beliefe Heb 4.14 and that it may be knowne that through the grace of my God I hold fast the profession of my faith wherein I have lived even the same which was taught by my Saviour and his Apostles according to the trueth and puritie of the same without leaning either to prophanesse atheisme superstition or any other errour or heresie and to the intent that they may joyne with mee in thanksgiving to my God for preserving mee in the same and in prayer unto God that I may continue in the same both to the end in the end I will therfore cheerefully faithfully and confidently rehearse the articles of my beliefe and say I beleeve in God the Father Allmighty Maker of heaven and earth and in Iesus Christ his onely Sonne our Lord which was conceived by the holy Ghost borne of the Virgin Mary suffered under Pontius Pilate was crucified dead and buried hee descended into hell the third day hee rose againe from the dead hee ascended into heaven and sitteth on the right hand of God the Father All-mighty from thence hee shall come to judg the quick and the dead I beleeve in the holy Ghost the holy Catholike Church the Communion of Saints the forgivenesse of sinnes the resurrection of the body and the life everlasting Amen Thus I believe Lord helpe my un-beliefe Mar. 9.24 Eph. 4.14 and graunt that I may not be tossed to and fro and caried about with every wind of doctrine by the sleight of men and cunning craftinesse whereby they lie in wayt to deceave vers 15 but that speaking and believing this trueth in love I may grow up unto him in all things which is the head even Christ my Redeemer And that I may thus repent mee of my sinnes and continue in love and persevere in the faith and submit to his good pleasure I will with a bended heart and a sorrowfull spirit and weeping eyes pray unto him and say exercise 3 3. The Prayer of the sick FAther of mercies Lord of life thou God which art a refuge in the time of trouble Ps 6.2 have mercy upon mee Ps 143.4 for I am weake and my heart with in mee is desolate A sinner I am I must confesse it not deserving thy mercy a fowle a grievous sinner I am who have disobeyed thy statutes and broken all thy commandements and never have I set my selfe in any good way to seeke my peace and reconciliation with thee My conscience check's mee and my sinnes testifie against mee and mine adversarie the devill strjveth to pluck from mee my considence in thee O Lord be thou my protectour and my gracious father Be reconciled unto mee in Iesus Christ in whom alone thou art well pleased Io 16.23 and in whose name whatsoëver I shall aske of thee I am sure thou wilt give it unto mee Heavenly Father doe thou assist mee doe thou comfort mee in these my trpâ—… and afflictions Ps 60.11 o be thou my helpe in trouble for vaine is the helpe of man To thee I cry to thee I come with a panting heart with a sorrowfull soule with an humble spirit I have sinned ô I have sinned and done amisse and my portion might be justly therfore in the land of darknesse there to be tormented with the devill and his angells forever But ô thou who hast promised to heale all those that are broken in heart Ps 147 3. and to bind up their wounds be reconciled unto mee in the wounds of my Redeemer Speake peace unto my conscience in this agony Ps 143.6 in this sorrowfull and deepe sighing for my skarlet sinnes To thee Ps 143.6 and to thee alone I stretch forth my hands to thee my soule gaspeth as a thirstie land vers 7. Heare mee ô Lord that soone for my spirit waxeth faint hide not thy face from mee lest I be like unto them that goe downe to destruction O let not these teares be refused nor these groanes be sighed and sobbed in vaine but by the power of his passion out of whose pretious side did issue both water and blood be thou reconciled unto mee the unworthiest of thy creatures Though my soule be deepely stained with the pollutions of my transgressions yet his blood hath power to make it white as snow On that remission of sinnes by his torments and sufferings doe I wholly rely My selfe I abhorre Iob 42.6 and repent in dust and ashes my workes I disclaine for I know their unworthinesse on thee alone ô my Iesus I wholly depend and by thee alone I hope for remission Be thou my Iesus be thou my Saviour Cure mee by thy wounds heale mee by thy stripes ease mee by thy torments comfort mee by thine agonie refresh my fainting soule by thy bluodie sweat revive mee by thy death and ô Sonne of God and Saviour of the world present mee to thy father in the robe of thy righteousnesse Ps 94.13 Give mee patience in this time of adversitie that I may quietly and contentedly submit to thy good pleasure rely upon thy mercy be thankfull for thy chastisement and in all things so looke up unto thee in this time of my sicknesse that I may hereafter be raised to glory by the power of thy resurrection This sicknesse for ought I know may be unto death but in thee I trust it shall be a passage unto life If thou hast passed the sentence of the first death upon mee decreeing to execute it by this my sicknesse to lay mee in the dust by this present visitation howsoever be pleased ô my father for the worthinesse of thy sonne to free met from the horrour of the second death Let mee be found of thee in peace 2. Pet 3 14. Hab 3.2 Is 9.13 Iob. 3.25 Mich 6 13. 1. Pet 4 19. Ps 119.175 that it may clearely appeare to mee that thou art a God of trueth and in the midst of judgment remembrest mercy Vnto thee I turne for thou hast smitten mee and the thing that I so greatly feared is fallen upon mee My body thou
destruction nor the threatned fall nor thy resisting us nor Sodom's ruine Lord forgive this iniquity amongst us and give us now such humble hearts Ps 75.6 that wee may noe more set our hornes on high nor speake with stiffe necks for why Thou ô God art the judg vers 8. thou puttest downe one and settest up another Wee are taught ô thou just God of truth Prov. 11.1 that a false ballance is abhomination unto thee but a just weight is thy delight and wee know that thou didst question by thy Prophet saying Mic 6.11 Shall I count them pure with the wicked ballances and with the bagg of deceitfull weights vers 10 Are there not in Ierusalem and Samaria the treasures of wickednesse in the house of the wicked and the skant measure which is aboâ—minable Yea and wee know that thou doâ—… stricktly forbid Deut 25.14 vers 13 vers 15 saying Thou shalt not have iâ— thine house diverse measures a greate and 〈◊〉 small thou shalt not have in thy bagge diversâ— weights a greate and a small but thou shalâ— have a perfect and just weight a perfect and just measure shalt thou have that thy dayes may be lengthened in the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee And yet for all this the same complaint may be made against many of us Ier 6.13 which was against Iudah wee are given to coveteousnesse and wee dealt falsly Iustly therfore ô most righteous judg thou mayst question us as thou didst the Iewes and say c 7.9 vers 10 will yee steale murder commâ— adulterie and sweare falsly and come and stand before mee in my house which is called by my name and say wee are delivered 〈◊〉 doe all these abominations O thou that art the easer of the oppressed thou God of compassionate bowells to thee are allso knowne both the deceaver and the oppressour walking hand in hand among us Surely thou hast seene it Ps 10.15 for thou behouldest ungodlinesse and wrong therfore thou callest Amos. 8.4 vers 5 saying Heare this ô yee that swallow up the needy even to make the poore of the land to faile saying when will the Sabbath be gone that wee may set forth wheate making the Ephah small and the Shekel greate and falsifying the ballance by deceit vers 6. that wee may buy the poore for silver and the needy for a paire of shooes Yea ô thou that makest inquisition for blood and forgettest not the complaint of the poore to thee wee must confesse that with the deceitfull is joyned allso among us even the bloody murderer allthough wee are well assured that the blood-thirstie and deceitfull man shall not live out halfe his dayes Ps 55.25 Yea Lord thou God of justice thou mayest allso complaine of us as thou didst of the Iewes Is 59.4 and say that few or none among us calleth for justice or pleadeth for truth wee trust in vanity and speake lyes wee conceave mischiefe and bring forth iniquity Hos 4.2 By swearing and lying and killing and stealing and committing adulterie the people breake out and blood toucheth blood Therfore doth our land mourne vers 3. and every one that dwelleth therein doth languish Thus ô thus wickedly thus contemptuously Iud 10 15. thus outragiously yea and many more and worse though closer wayes have wee sinned o Lord doe thou unto us whatsoever in thy mercy seemeth good unto thee For these Ier. 50.4 and for all other our private and publike our secret and our open our particular and our generall crimes I besiech thee o father of mercies to graunt that I and all the people of the land may goe weeping as once did the children of Israel and of Iudah Lord be reconciled unto us in the blood of that Lamb of thine who taketh away the sinns of the world Cause us all now in this time of our visitation to learne vers 5. and aske the way to Sion with our faces thitherward saying Come let us joyne our selves unto the Lord in a perpetuall covenant that shall not be broken Amos. 7.2 Dan. 9.19 Ioel. 2.21 vers 26 O Lord God forgive us I beseech thee by whom Shall Iacob arise For hee is small O Lord heare ô Lord forgive o Lord hearken and doe it so shall wee be sure that thou wilt doe greate things Cause us once againe to eate in plenty be satisfied praise thy name o Lord our God when thou hast dealt thus wonderously with us and wee shall never be ashamed Ier. 29.11 O let thy thoughts be thoughts of peace towards us and not of evill Wee should o my God 1. Pet. 3 8. wee should have loved one another as brethren and should have beene pittyfull and courteous but to our shame I must acknowledg with a sad and a broken heart that wee have beene more ready to bite and devoure one another Gal. 5.15 and therfore now are wee justly consumed one of another It is most just with thee o thou sin-revenging God thus to visit our offences with the rod Ps 89.32 our sinns with scourges Vnnaturall have beene our crimes therfore unnaturall are likewise our punishments Ps 37.15 for our swords doe goe thorow our owne hearts and wee our selves are become the destroyers of our selves O eternall mercy O eternall goodnesse be thou gratiously pleased I beseech thee to give us a true sight sense and feeling of these and all other our faylings and back-slidings give us hearty remorse contrition and sorrow for them all together with a stedfast resolution of new obedience yea and so strengthen us in these our pious resolutions and so enable us to the performance of the same yea so sanctifie us throughout that our whole spirits and soules bodies may be kept blamelesse unto the comeing of our Lord and Saviour Iesus Christ Thou hast threatned that If a man will not turne Ps 7.13 thou will whet thy sword this long time thou hast bent thy bowe thou hast prepared for us vers 14 and brought among us the instruments of death and hast ordained thine arrowes against thy persecuters Yet Lord thou art yesterday and to day and the same for ever The same father of mercies and God of all consolation Remember therfore I beseech thee how gratious thou wert to the people of Iudah to whom thou sentest thy Prophet to speake Ier. 26.3 If so be they would hearken and turne every man from his evill way that thou mightest repent thee of the evill which thou didst purpose to doe unto them because of the evill of their doeings O Lord doe thou rent our hearts in thy mercy and make us turne from our evill wayes that thou mayst repent thee of the evill of our punishments Make us turne unto thee with 〈◊〉 our hearts Ioel 2.12 with fasting and with weeping and with mourning Ex 32.12 and then turne thou from thy
couch with my teares Every night shall be a night of sorrow a night of weeping for my sinns Ps 30.5 that so my God may send mee joy in the morning Apt I am to distrust my God to fixe my thoughts upon carking and caring for the things of to morrow Nor am I single in the offence too many are apt to sacrifice to their owne shallow titular wisedome choosing rather to depend upon their owne discretion then to rely upon the providence of the greate disposer Eccl 8.16 Such there are indeede that neither day nor night doe see sleepe with their eyes and like the wife in the Proverbs their candle goeth not out by night Prov 31.18 But I must remember the command of my Redeemer and Take noe thought for the morrow Mat 6.34 for the morrow shall take thought for the things of it selfe Sufficient unto the day is the evill thereof And as I may not distrust the providence of my God so neither will I nor may I boast of to morow Prov 27.1 for I know not what a day or a night may bring forth But I will besiech my God to give mee content with what soëver hee shall send Mercy I will beg for howsoëver hee shall dispose of meé and comfortable sleepe if hee spare mee life I will besiech him that if through a disturbed fant'sie I be molested with dreames even in those dreames hee will be pleased to open mine eares Iob 33.16 and seale mine instruction If the master and builder of this house of clay the greate Creatour of heaven and earth shall come and this night shall call mee to judgment Ps 139.13 Graunt ô my God ô thou who diddest forme mee and fashion mee in the wombe of my mother that I may watch in thee for the comeing of thy selfe whether it shall be at mid-night or at the cock-crowing or in the morning Mat. 13.35 that though thou comest suddenly yet thou find mee not sleeping And now I am lyeing downe let mee not be afraid Prov 3.24 yea make mee lye downe and my sleepe to be sweete unto mee Thus will I close mine eyes with sorrowfull teares and thus will I rely upon the protection of my God part 3 The third part Of the soliloquie To be used at the time of awaking in the night O What a trouble is this to one desirous to sleepe Thus to tosse and tumble this way and that way Thus to long to sleepe and not be able to sleepe I am sure that I did sleepe but I am not sure when I shall sleepe againe Lord how silent is the night How quiet are all things but my disturbed selfe How slowly doth the clock number the howres It strike's one two c and yet I sleepe not It was the complaint of holy Iob unto the Lord saying Iob 7.13 Vers 14. When I say my bed shall comfort mee my couch shall ease my complaint Then thou sharest mee with dreames and terrifiest mee through visions Mee think's I could partly be contented to be troubled as Iob was with dreames and visions so that I might be sure to have the benefit of the sleepe Every thing that move's but gently possesseth mee with feares The watch-man of the night which awaked the Apostle out of the sleepe of securitie disturb's mee with chaunting out the disisions of the night But is there noe way to be sure either to sleepe sweetely or to awake contentedly Is 57.21 There is noe sleepe noe rest noe peace saith my God to the wicked If I am wicked I cannot sleepe or if I doe it is rather a cessation from labour then a contented repose for the awaking conscience disturbes the fantsie with hideous apparitions Let mee a litle enter into my selfe consider whether I was prepared for sleepe before I applyed my selfe unto it Did I enter into my bed with divine meditations and make up the account of my former life before I drew the curtaines of mine eyes Certainly my God awake's mee that I may either repent of some sinne which I have formerly forgotten or praise him for some mercy for which I was not thankfull If thus while I awake my thoughts be divine whensoever I sleepe my rest shall be comfortable I will therfore take up the confidence of David who said that his soule should be satisfied as with marrow Ps 63.5 and fatnesse and his mouth should praise the Lord with joyfull lipps when hee remembred God upon his bed Vers 6. and meditated on him in the night watches I must even doe as David did if I hope for the blessing which David had Yea and so I will with the assistance of him Eccl. 5.12 who causeth the sleepe of the laborious to be sweete The Prophet mee thinks seemeth to challenge the Allmighty when hee saith Thou hast proved mine heart Ps 17.3 and visited mee in the night thou hast tryed mee and shalt find nothing in mee nothing evill nothing amisse Lord though I cannot acquitt my selfe in the words of that Prophet yet I will resolve with that Prophet I am utterly purposed that my mouth shall not offend Surely that blessed Psalmist had often discourse and conference with his God in the times of the night and doubtlesse hee was then most free for the service of his maker when most hee was freed from the affaires of his subjects O how comfortably hee does cheere up himselfe when hee saith I have remembred thy name Ps 119.55 ô Lord in the night and have kept thy law Yet this was not the practise of David onely Noe I find that it is a blessing which God in mercy hath sent to others allso of his servants Is 26.1 The Prophet Isaiah telleth Iudah of a day that should come when this song should be sung in their land wee have a strong citty vers 9. salvation will God appoint for walls and bulwarkes c. With my soule have I desired thee in the night yea with my spirit within mee will I seeke thee early O what a blessed time was this to Iudah O how sweete is the remembrance of God in the night It is sweete indeede to remember him in the night to sieke him in the night but then 't is doubtlesse full of horrour to sieke and not to find him And yet thus God threatneth Israël and Ephraim and Iudah the Priests and the people Hos 5.6 and the Princes that They should goe to sieke the Lord but they should not find him because hee would with-draw himfelfe from them And the Church complaineth that Cant 3.1 By night on her bed shee sought him whom her soule loueth shee sought him but shee found him not Alasse how came it to passe that her beloved would not be found Surely hee was not talking allthough thus Elyah mocked the Priests of Baal 1. King 18.27 concerning their dumb and stupid idoll nor pursueing nor in a journie nor
the desire of foode the sharpenesse of the appetite is abated and growne low The birds of the night the theeves and the robbers awake mee out of my slumbers sometime my carefull thoughts present to my fant'sie a feare of their entrance which causeth mee to watch when there is noe necessitie The daughters of musick the tongue that was so nimble and the lippes that were so active and the voyce that was so melodious have forgotten the songs and sonnets of youth vers 5. Now I am afraid of that which is high and feares are in the way and the Almond-tree flourisheth and the grasse-hopper is a burden and desire faileth When I attempt to walke the dimnesse of mine eyes doeth multiply the objects and maketh mee believe that I must climbe over mountaines The weakenesse of my feeling persuadeth my feete that the smallest stones are mighty hills Every bush in the way that shooteth up its twigges appeareth like the ragged teeth of a devouring sawe The Almond-tree flourisheth the early watchfull Almond-tree which forwardly produceth its fruits in the prime of the yeere my cares increase and cause mee to walke betimes in the mornings My weakenesse accounteth the leaping of a grasse-hopper upon my furrowed skinne like the weight of a burden that would crush mee to the earth and the desire of youthfull delights is fled from my remembrance The silver chord is loosed vers 6. the golden bowle is broken and the pitcher is broken at the fountaine and the wheele is broken at the cesterne The tongue is growne silent which was wont to sing like the silver trumpetts the strength of the loynes hath submitted to age the braine which was kept in the bowle of the skull is dryed up in the panne which so carefully preserved it The very gall is broken and seperated from the liver the fountaine of blood and the whole body is readily prepared for the sepulcher Thus hath my God spared mee so long untill I am even wearie of this his mercy for in my youth I was not so fearefull to be snatched from my pleasures as now I have a longing to be released of my paines My flesh Lam 3.4 and my skinne are made old and my bones are broken Such yeeres have seldome crowned the issue of Adam without the societie of weakenesses and sorrowes Gen 48 10. 1. King 14.4 c 15.23 The eyes of Israël were dimme for age so that hee could not see Ahijah the Prophet could not see for his eyes were sett by reason of age Asa in the time of his old age was diseased in his feete Thus wee that are ancient are subject to as many infirmities as wee have lived yeeres each part of our bodies is ready to torment us with severall aches Now I I stand in neede of a Iob whose comforts may uphold mee as I am falling Iob. 4.4 and that hee may strengthen my fecble knees O how I want some charitable person Is 35.3 who could strengthen my weake hands and confirme these feeble joynts Aged I am feeble I am I have that which Solomon calleth the beauty of age Prov 20.29 I have the gray head But what beauty is there in these silver haires unlesse I have religion springing in my heart c 16.31 The hoary head is a crowne of glory yet not unlesse it be found in the way of righteousnesse The Israëlites were commanded to rise up before the hoarie head Lev 19 32. and to honour the face of the old but surely the Lord intended not that reverence should be given so much to the age as to the goodnesse of the person who was thus to be respected As wee that are aged have more experience through the multitude of our yeeres then the young and lustie inhabitants of the earth so should wee be instructers of them in goodnesse and vertue As wee doe somewhat resemble our God in the number of our dayes 1. Pet 1 26. Dan 7.9 so should wee strive to be holy as hee is holy who is the ancient of dayes I can speake the chronicles of times that are past and report the various occurrences which happened in my youth but doe I strive therein to set forth the goodnesse and mercies of him that hath spared mee so long to publish his praises Iob saith that With the ancient is wisedome Iob. 12.12 and in length of dayes understanding Thus indeede it should be but doe I verefie those words of Iob The Prophet complaineth that gray haires were here and there upon Israël Hos 7.9 Iob. 32.9 yet hee had noe knowledg Greate men are not allways wise neither doe the aged allways understand wisedome That is onely true wisedome which maketh us resemble the Prophet David who understood more then the ancients Ps 119.100 because hee kept the precepts of the most high As for other wisedome it hath noe vallew in comparison of this for of such it is that Iob speaketh when hee saith God removeth away the speech of the trustie Iob 12.20 and taketh away the understanding of the aged It is that wisedome alone it is that understanding onely that David had which causeth both the guift and the blessing of antiquity Prov 3.1 Let thine heart keepe my commandements sayth the Lord by king Solomon for length of dayes vers 2. long life and peace shall they adde unto thee This is that true wisedome indeede which hath length of dayes in her right hand vers 16 and in her left hand riches and honour Such aged people as these were they whom God promised at the restauration of Ierusalem when hee sayd there shall yet old men Zech 8 4. old women dwell in the streetes of Ierusalem every man with his staffe in his hand for very age Such as these doubtless were they of whom Eliphaz boasted to Iob in his distresse when hee said Iob. 15.10 with us are both the gray headed and very aged men much elder then thy father Thus I reade of the wisely ancient but am I one of those who have Wisedome and understanding Is my zeale as much inflamed with the love of my God as my body hath abated of its youthfull heate Long enough have I lived to be acquainted with the precepts and commandements of the most high and to teach the younger by a religious example How many in all these clusters these heapes of yeares have I advantaged in the way of godlinesse How many have I endeavoured to reclayme from wickednesse What judgments of God upon sinfull miscreants have I observed in my time What use have I made of them for mine owne humiliation How often have I discoursed of them to the younger people that so they might be affrighted from the perversenesse of their evill wayes I can remember trifles which happened even in my childhood but did I ever observe the goodnesse and the tender mercies of my maker My numerous yeeres command mee
ghost c 25.8 and dyed in a good old age Iud 8.32 1. Chr 29.28 Gen 23 1. vers 2. an old man full of yeeres and was gathered to his people Gideon the sonne of Ioash dyed in a good old age David dyed in a good old age full of dayes riches and honour Sarah was an hundred twentie and seaven yeeres old when shee dyed in Kiriath arba These and thousands of others who lived greate and good ages lay downe in the dust and their spirits were caried by Angells into the kingdome of happinesse the citty of my God why then should not I endeavour to follow them to blisse Dye I must but when or where or how I can not determine Yet sure I am that if I live the life of the righteous I shall dye their death Num 23.10 and receave their reward As neere as I am to my longest home I am not assured what death I shall dye neither by what disease nor with what torments or ease Gen 42.38 Iacob was afraid that his gray haires should be brought downe with sorrow to the grave When David gave Solomon a charge concerning Ioab hee commanded him 1. King 2.6 saying Let not his hoary head goe downe to the grave in peace Concerning Shimei hee likewise charged him vers 9. saying His hoary head bring thou downe to the grave with blood The rebellious Israëlites were threatned for their disobedience Deut 28.49 vers 50 that the Lord should bring a nation against them which should not regard the person of the oldâ— nor shew favour to the young I have noe more priviledg nor prerogative then they unlesse I can prove that I am better then they Nay more the manner or the kind of death though never so tormenting is farre from satisfying for the smallest offence My death may be troublsome and sull of miserie and yet my doome may be full of horrour O what shall I doe What shall I doe to escape that sentence of wrath which can never be recalled The more yeeres I have lived the more sinnes I have committed The words of the ould Patriarch doe more properly belong unto mes then they did unto him Few Gen 47.9 and evill have the dayes of the yeeres of my life beene O what a world of crimes is my soule oppressed with What shall I doe to pacifie my God against whom my sinnes and offences have beene committed Nothing but blood can satisfie for my skarlet crimes and noe blood can appease him but the blood of his Sonne and noe share can I have in that most precious blood unlesse I seriously and faithfully repent mee of my sinnes Lord Is 56.3 though I may say with the Eunuch Behold I am a drie tree yet it is in thy power as well to draw water out of the dryest tree as the obdurate rockes O my God I desire to offer thee both mine eyes full of teares and a heart full of groanes If all that litle moisture which is left in my body could possibly be converted into one teare of timely and acceptable repentance even that teare ô God would I readily offer thee Lord I grieve in my very soule for the pollutions of my soule and am seriously and heartily offended at my selfe for offending thee Accept ô God the throbs of my fainting heart and be reconciled unto mee in the blood of thy sonne O Lord I sigh ô Lord I grieve My heart panteth my bowells yerne and my very soule languisheth and pineth to receave the assurance of thy favour I will lye at the poole of Bethesda as hee did who was diseased neere fortie yeeres Io. 5.5 I will lye at the gate of thy mercy ô Iesus and there will I weepe and grieve and lament and call and cry for mercy at thy hands ô blessed Redeemer and my petitions I will tender in all humilitie and devotion praying and saying The Prayer MErcifull Lord God Is 46.3 who didst promise to carrie the house of Iacob from the belly and the wombe vers 4. even to old age and hoary haires despise not the humble suite of thine aged and feeble servant My many yeeres I must confesse I have spent in vanitie and scarce one minuit of them have I devoted to thy service as I ought to have done Every day have I offended thee and every hower have I beene disobedient to thy lawes My child-hood hath beene full of folly my youth of stubbornesse my riper yeeres have beene apt to wantonnesse and mine old and aged dayes to coveteousnesse and impenitencie Thou mightest long since in thy justice have destroyed mee in my sinnes and have given mee a portion in the land of darknesse But now ô father since thou hast spared mee so long doe not condemne mee at the last Let the heavie heart and the trembling tongue and the shaking hands and the most sorrowfull soule of an humble convert find favour in thine eyes With thy mercy Iob. 4.4 Ps 35.3 Ps 39.4 ô Lord strengthen my weake hands support my feeble knees comfort my drooping heart and say unto my soule I am thy salvation Lord make mee to know mine end and the measure of my dayes that I may know how fraile I am vers 5. Ps 93.2 Ps 102.27 Ps 90.9 Mine age is nothing before thee for thou art from everlasting and thy yeeres shall not faile O be thou reconciled unto mee through the passion of my Redeemer for when thou art angry all our dayes are gone wee bring our yeeres to an end as a tale that is told Ps 71.9 O cast mee not off in this time of old age forsake mee not now my strength faileth mee Though the heavens Is 51.6 and the â—earth shall waxe old as doeth a garment and they that dwell therein shall dye yet thy salvation shall be for ever and thy righteousnesse shall not be abolished Ps 43.3 Ps 71.18 Ps 23.4 Ps 62.7 Prov. 23.22 O send out thy light and thy trueth to leade mee now I am old and gray headed ô my staffe and thou who art the onely rock of strength forsake mee not Thou hast commanded our children to hearken to their fathers that begat them and not to despise their mothers when they are old O my heavenly father doe thou make mee thy child by grace and adoption that I may hearken unto thee and never despise or forsake thy commandements Make mee allways remember thy workes ô Lord Ps 77.11 and call to mind thy wonders of old time Give mee grace to be in behaviour as becometh holinsse Tit 2.3 not given to the vices which commonly delude the ancient and decrepid but that I may be a teacher of the things that are good Peaceably ô my father Iob. 5.26 let mee come to my grave in a full age like as a shock of corne cometh in in his season By the course of nature I am ready to goe the way of all the earth
may passe from miferie to eternall happinesse Heare Lord have mercy both upon mee and mine and graunt my petitions for the worthinesse of that most mercifull and most blessed sonne of a woman thine onely begotten Iesus Christ my Lord and onely Saviour Amen soliloquy 2 2. ly Teares of a woman after her deliverie from the paines of Child-birth The Soliloquie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words o Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray A Woman Io 16.21 when shee is in travell hath sorrow because her hower is come but as soone as shee is delivered of the child she remembreth noe more her anguish for joy that a man is borne into the world O how truely doeth my heavenly Iesus describe both his mercy and my comfort I who ere while was full of anguish and teares am now with comfort brought againe to my bed I who had allmost despaired of mercy in the midst of my sufferances have found a deliverer Mee think's I could weepe because I wept so much and grieve because my cryes did savour of distrust Many teares did I shed through the anguish which I suffered but have I none left of sorrow for offending in my pangs I will begge for pardon at the hands of him who sent mee this ease and then I will thanke him for his bountie in sending mee this child Prettie infant the beginning of his cryes was the end of mine and the beginning of his trouble was the end of my labour O how did I long to see him whom I now embrace How did I wish to be delivered of him whom yet againe I receave Hee is parted from my wombe to be caried in mine armes and he who before was the burden of my bowells now is made the delight of mine eyes Now with a greater comfort I hope then the first sinner embraced the first that ever was borne I may rejoyce and say I have gotten a man from the Lord. Gen 4.1 1. Chr 4.9 Gen 35.18 True it is that I might call him a Iabez because I bare him with sorrow I might name him Ben oni because hee was the sonne of mine affliction and sorrowes but I will rather with Iacob call him Benjamin the sonne of my right hand O how gratious was my God unto mee in that hee sent mee a mid-wife to helpe mee neighbours to comfort mee a house to cover mee a fire to warme mee and now a bed to ease mee The mother of my Lord had not an house but a stable onely Lu 2.7 for there was noe roome in the Inne Her holy child was layed but in a manger whereas mine is in a cradle yet I am wicked I am sinfull and uncleane yea and this babe is not borne without originall pollution But I will begge of the Lord that with Simeon I may take up my Iesus in mine armes vers 28 or rather in my heart and I will beseech him that as I desire to embrace him in my soule so hee will embrace mee in the armes of his mercy Mee think's when I remember how hardly the Israëlites were used by the Egyptians when the midwives were commanded to slay the males Ex 1.16 I cannot choose but tremble at the miseries of the women It might seeme a sinne in them to desire sonnes seeing they knew that their birth was but a stepp to their graves Those mercifull hands which brought them into the world were commanded to be the executioners of the innocent babes The women were to be as cruell in their murders as the King was in his commands and yet such bloody acts were to be called executions and not styled murders They had a command to put in practise what was so horrid and barbarous whereupon they were perplexed to thinke that either they must necessarily disobey authoritie or else destroy those who had not offended It is true that if God had commanded it the act had beene righteous Gen. 22 2. Abraham not onely may but must be the priest to sacrifice his sonne his onely sonne Isaak when God requireth it But if God forbiddeth what man commandeth wee must be more ready to suffer then to obey those commands When wee dare not doe what wee are unjustly commanded wee must dare to suffer what shall be unjustly inflicted on us O how grievously was Iochebed perplexed in her miseries Ex 2.3 when for feare lest her Moses should be slaine according to the decree shee was enforced to expose him to the brinke of the river That child whom shee could noe longer hide shee was faine to cradle up in an arke of bull-rushes Thus shee who durst not keepe her infant adventured upon a trade which shee never had learned but her directour was his preserver Surely the teares which shee shed for feare of his death did perswade the river to carie him alive for shee so bribed the torrent with the droppes from her eyes that it tooke more compassion then the heart of the tyrant One word of that King might have saved at once both her sorrowes and her feares Mee think 's the very river might have taught him to melt for his cruelty but where grace is wanting every thing that should check the petulancie of sinne doe's but give vigour to the execution thereof There was a sorrowfull mother weeping for feare of the death of him who might peradventure have cost her her life and there was a child too crying as if it had beene either sensible of the cruelty of the salvage tyrant or else struck with compassion for the tender mother The cryes of both were so lowd and so just that they pierced the clowdes and were heard up to heaven and the daughter of the King was moved to save what her father in his fury did seeke to destroy The child was found by Pharaoh's daughter and ignorantly as well as compassionately shee put him to nurse to his indulgent mother O what cannot God doe when hee decreeth to act His justice is severe and potent Ps 145 9. but his mercy which is over all his workes is full of goodnesse and wonder Hee who preserved Moses hath saved this infant and I hope hee hath chosen him for a vessell of honour Zacharias was promised that hee should have joy and gladnesse in Iohn the Baptist Luc. 1.14 I will hope for the like in this new-borne babe and I will begge of my Lord that hee may be beloved of him Him I must magnifie for the deliverance of my selfe and him I must thanke both for the shape the life of my child My wombe might have proved the grave of mine infant and my selfe the sepulcher of a child unseene I might have dyed in the birth of this which I embrace and the litle infant ignorant of my cryes might unwittingly have beene the destroyer of his mother Or else I might have lived
a Lamb Heb 9.28 an innocent Lamb a Lamb without blemish which once was offered to beare the sinnes of many I am one of those many who have sinned and why then should I not be one of those many too whose sinnes hee hath borne Lord make mee one of thy children through the merits of thy Sonne and cleanse the pollutions of my Soule by the blood of that Lamb even that Lamb of God which taketh away the sinnes of the world Io 1.29 But whilest I thus meditate upon the staines of my soule my body biddeth mec to looke upon these un-wonted blemishes Lord how blewish they appeare Surely if those doaters upon our sexe should see these spotts they would forget their idolatrie and tremble at the judgment When Mordecay was cloathed in his blew and white Est 8.15 it is sayd that hee went in royall apparell The apparell of my skinne mee thinks doeth seeme to resemble the covering of his body for here is the ancient white which nature conferred and here is the blew come now too sent mee from God It is royall apparell because it is sent mee by the King of glory and it is well come too 2. Cor. 1.3 because that glorious King is the father likewise of mercies and the God of all consolation Prov 20.30 The blewnesse of a wound cleanseth away evill saith the wise King Solomon Surely hee meant not such a wound such a spot as is each of these for allthough these are blew yet certainly they cleanse not or if they doe cleanse their cleansing concerneth nothing but my soule they put mee in mind of that duety for my time is short and suddenly shall my poore soule bid fare-well to this corrupted to this spotted body but as for this body it cannot be cleansed it may be ruined by these blewish wounds Christ saith to his church Thou art all faire my love Cant 4.7 there is noe spot in thee and Saint Paul telleth mee how it cometh to passe that it is freed from spotts for Christ saith hee gave himselfe for it Eph. 5.25 that hee might sanctifie it and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word vers 26 that hee might present it to himselfe a glorious church not having spott vers 27 or wrinkle or any such thing but that it should be holy and without blemish Of this church am I a member a poore weake unworthy member and yet I have my spotts my corruptions in my soule which these in my body peepe out to remember mee of But why did I not keepe the commandements without spot 1. Tim. 6.14 and unrebukeable Why have I not kept my selfe un-spotted from the world Iam 1.27 O for this for this very cause am I now thus visited am I now thus stained and noe more am I able to take these prints out of my flesh then the Ethiopian is able to change his skinne Ier. 13.23 or the Leopard his spotts Yet I have comfort in my redeemer 1. Pet. 1 18. in him who hath redeemed mee not with corruptible things as silver and gold from my vaine conversation vers 19 but with the pretious blood of himselfe as of a Lamb without blemish and without spott Though my body therfore decay yet I have a confidence that my soule shall live I have an assurance of that for hee who bringeth mee to a sight of these spotts hath given mee likewise a sight of my sinnes his name be for ever magnified for it and mee think's they appeare a thousand thousand times more loathsome more ugly in my soule then these doe in my body They are ten million of times more certainly mortall in their owne condition to my soule with out the mercy of my Iesus then these are to my body Yet if it might be safe for mee to expostulate with my God I would say unto him in the lauguage of the Prophet Ier. 15.18 Why is my paine thus perpetuall and my wound in curable which refuseth to be healed Wilt thou be alltogether unto mee as waters that fayle Hast thou utterly rejected mee c. 14.19 Hath thy soule loathed mee Why hast thou smitten mee and there is noe healing for mee I looke for peace and there is noe good and for the time of healing and behould trouble But if I should thus expostulate in the phrase of the Prophet yet must I howsoëver conclude with the Prophet and say vers 20 I acknowledg ô Lord my wickednesse and the iniquity of my fathers for wee have sinned against thee Yet mee thinks these spotts will as hardly goe out of my mind as out of my body The expresse word of God to the Israelites was Yee shall not make any cutting in your flesh for the dead nor print any markes upon you Lev. 1◠28. I am the Lord. And good reason there was for this prohibition for they were very apt to be led by the heathens among whom it was a custome at the death of their friends to lament and cutt themselves it was their manner allso to make incisions in their flesh to fill up the wounds with Stibium or inke But I alas doe find here such prints and markes in my flesh as the very heathen themselves would have stood amazed at yet these are notcarved by the violence of my selfe but by the finger of my God I must therfore content my selfe and rejoyce at the sight of them Iam 1.17 since they proceede from him who is the father of lights allthough they presage darknesse unto mee for every good guift and every perfect guift is from above This guift does not seeme in it selfe to be either good or perfect but upon second more serious cogitations if my true repentance ensue upon them I shall find that they will hasten mee to the best good to the chiefest perfection even to the Kingdome which is purchased for mee by the blood of my Redeemer Iob 16.12 Alas I cannot choose but cry out with Iob and say I was at ease but hee hath broken mee asunder hee hath allso taken mee by my neck and shaken mee to pieces and set mee up for his marke Or with Ieremiah Lam 3.12 Hee hath bent his bowe and set mee as a Marke for the arrowe Or with Iob againe through the extreamitie of my sorrow I am enforced to expostulate with my God Iob 7.20 say Why hast thou set mee as a marke against thee so that I am a burden to my selfe But I will silence my selfe in his words againe and say I have sinned What shall I doe unto thee ô thou preserver of men When it pleased the All-mighty to preserve his children in the citty of Ierusalem when the rest should be destroyed hee commanded a man that was cloathed with linnen Eze 9.2 vers 4. and had a writer's inke-horne by his side to goe thorow the midst of the citty thorow the midst of
healeth Ex 15.26 Psl 6.2 Have mercy therfore upon mee ô Lord for I am weake ô Lord heale mee for my bones are vexed Ps 41.3 Ier 17.14 Strengthen mee now upon my bed of languishing make thou all my bed in my sicknesse Heale mee o Lord and I shall be healed save mee and I shall be saved for thou art my praise c 30.12 O let not my bruise be incurable though my wound be grievous Let mee have one to pleade my cause vers 13 even that Holy One thine onely begotten Sonne that hee may bind mee up and give mee healing medicines Thou art hee who didst promise Iacob to correct him in measure vers 11 though not to leave him altogether unpunished Thou rebukest mee for my sinne Ps 39.11 and makest my beauty to consume away like as it were a moath fretting a garment These Markes in my flesh doe cause a trembling even in my spirit Rev 13.17 Ps 86.16 Lord graunt that upon my soule be not found the marke of the beast but the marke of thy sonne that hee may owne mee for his O turne thou unto mee and have mercy upon mee give thy strength unto thy servant and save thy distressed hand-mayd Shew now some good token for good vers 17 that it may appeare unto the world that thou Lord doest helpe mee and comfort mee But if in thy secret purpose thou hast decreed at this time to gather mee unto my fathers make mee with joy comfort to render mine account unto thee the Lord of heaven earth Looke not upon the sinnes and offences of my misse-led life but rather looke upon my Redeemer's death Is 53.5 who was wounded for my transgressions bruised for mine iniquites the chastisement of my peace was layed upon him by his stripes therfore let mee be healed In the midst of the streete of thy throne ô God Reu 22.2 of either side of the river of life there is a tree of life bearing twelve manner of fruits and the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations O my God let mee but come to tast of those fruits let mee but be shaded under the leaves of that tree of life Ps 41.4 Ps 103 1. Be mercifull unto mee heale my soule for I have sinned against thee Then shall my soule blesse thee O my Lord and all that is within mee shall praise thy holy name who forgivest all mine iniquities vers 3. and canst heale my diseases Into thine hands I commend my spirit Ps 31.5 for thou hast redeemed mee ô Lord thou God of trueth The Spirit and the bride say Come Reu 22.17 therfore let mee who now heare it say Come Let mee heare thy voyce ô God Gen 3.8 in the coole of the day not in the heate of thy displeasure And thou ô my Iesus who for such sinners wert made a sacrifice on the altar of the crosse how downe thine eare as thou didst upon the tree and heare and fullfill the desires of thy wounded supplicant Come ô Iesus and embrace mee in thine armes hide mee in thy wounded side from the wrath of thy father In thee alone doe I trust to thee alone doe I flee succour mee helpe mee save mee O Christ The world I leave to thee I come At the doore of thy mercy doe I knock I call I cry Lord protect mee Iesus comfort mee Strengthen my faith and confirme my hope As my earthly body draweth neerer to the earth so doe thou draw my soule up neerer unto thee who art the father of spirits Heb 12 9. O God make speede to save mee O Lord make hast to helpe mee Finish soone these dayes of sinne and then let mee enter into thy celestiall paradice and that for his sake in whom alone thou art well pleased even Iesus Christ my onely Mediatour and Redeemer Amen subject 16 THE SIXTEENTH SUBjECT Teares of a Mother for the sicknesse of her child The Soliloquie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words ô Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voyce of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray IT shall come to passe saith Moses to the house of Israel if thou wilt not hearken to the voyce of the Lord thy God Deut 28.15 to observe to doe all his commandements and his statutes which I command thee this day that all these curses shall come upon thee and overtake thee vers 16 Cursed shalt thou be in the citty and cursed shalt thou be in the field Cursed shall be thy basket and thy store vers 17 yea Cursed shall be the fruit of thy body c. vers 18 What all these curses from heaven for the sins of poore distressed mortalls O what a multitude of evills doe our sinnes deserve What punishment doeth not iniquitie cry for It cryeth for the curse of the citty the decay of trading the curse of the field whole rivers of blood in furious battailes the curse of the basket and the store the dearth of provisions Yet all these are but outward punishments and reflect onely upon the baser the worse part of our selves the body but Cursed shall be the fruit of the body oh this biteth like a Serpent stingeth like a Cockatrice Prov 23.32 The fruit of my body Is afflicted with sicknesse but is the sinne of the parent the cause of his affliction Yes yes my conscience acknowledgeth the guilt let my tongue be as ready to confesse it and my heart to repent of it But how standeth this with the justice of the Creatour Gen 18.25 Shall not the judg of all the earth doe right The Prophet Ezekiel telleth mee from God that The sonne shall not beare the iniquity of the father Eze 18 20. Mich 7 6. Ier 9.20 neither shall the father beare the iniquity of the sonne but the soule that sinneth it shall dye Else the daughter might rise up against her mother as saith the Prophet and the women by reason of the vengeance due for their sinnes might teach their daughters wayling c 31.29 Rom 3 4. if the sowre grapes which the parents have eaten should set their childrens teeth on edge But let God be true and every man a lyar that hee may be justified in his sayings and may over-come when hee is judged Hee it is who hath threatned to visit the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate him The sinne is mine Ex 20.5 but the punishment is mine infant's againe the sinne is mine infant's and the punishment is mine And yet farther The sinne is of and from both and the punishment is inflicted upon both His sufferance is my sorrow and his paines my distresse Lord what a due reward of sinne is punishment My child as yet it may be knoweth not sinne and yet is hee punished
I climb up into a tree for it Yea I doe climb and into a tree too O it is the tree of mine owne pride and vanitie which beareth leaves goodly broade shadowing leaves but it beareth noe fruit at all nothing but keyes and those keyes are fitted onely for the wide gate that leadeth to destruction Mat. 7.13 they will never un-lock the gates of heaven This child is young hee is a babe a babe in age a babe in growth I am a babe not in age not in growth but such a one as the Corinthians were to whom the Apostle wrote 1. Cor. 3.1 and sayd that hee could not speake unto them as unto spirituall but as unto carnall even as unto babes in Christ My child is young and tender and simple apt to be led with trifles to stragle abroad with children to be caried any whither at the pleasure of her to whose charge hee is left I am a child too a verier child then mine owne apt to be tossed to and fro Eph. 4.14 and caried about with every wind of doctrine by the sleight of men and cunning craftinesse whereby they lye in wayt to deceave And now what shall I doe I am the verier child of the two the most sinfull of the two and yet my child is afflicted with sicknesse and to mee noe other punishment is at present alotted but the griefe which I have for the sicknesse of my child Hee still cryeth still must I therfore cry Hee groaneth and I must allso groane Yea I doe groane I groane in spirit that my Iesus may cure the diseases of my soule I groane too for my child my prettie sweete babe that my Iesus may howsoever cure the infirmities of his soule and if hee so pleaseth recover allso the health of his body This must be the way to him I must thus goe Io. 14.6 Ps 30.8 for hee himselfe hath styled himselfe the way I will therfore cry unto the Lord and get mee unto my Lord right humbly I will goe to the gate of the physitian the gate of mercy and there I will knock and call and cry for entrance I will fall upon my knees and wring my hands and smite my breast Is 38.14 and weepe and mourne like a Crane and chatter like a Swallow even untill mine eyes faile with looking upward and thus will I say unto him The Prayer GReate God whose power is irresistable and whose pleasure is the rule of thy servant's obedience bow downe thine eare to my sad intreaties Thou hast stricken mee with sorrow who have not mourned for the cause and by the sicknesse of mine infant thou hast taught mee the frailtie of our mortall bodyes I see that all flesh is as grasse 1. Pet. 1.24 and the glory thereof but as the flowre of the field Mine impenitent heart I must confesse deserveth thy justice and my sinfull life this punishment of my tender infant But thou ô Lord art mercifull though I am sinfull and art apt to forgive those that truely repent O my God I desire to be sorrowfull for mine offences and earnestly I besiech thee to give mee true contrition for all my sinnes Iob. 7.20 O thou preserver of men remitt both my sinnes and the punishment which is justly due unto mee for them that I may rejoyce in thy mercy and magnifie thee for thy goodnesse Looke gratiously upon this child who feeleth the scourge though gently of thy justice due both for his and for my transgressions O let not thy wrathfull displeasure continue upon him nor my greater crimes cause an addition unto his torments Thy servant David confessed his sinnes and submitted to thy rod but yet hee cryed concerning his people 2. Sam. 24.19 and sayd These sheepe what have they done I dare not justifie this thy patient but I must needes acknowledg that for mine iniquities as well as for his thou thus doest wound him But ô thou who didst once command Mat. 19 14. that litle children should be brought unto thee didst prefer them for patternes both of innocency and humilitie shew now thy power in the weakenesse of this child Enable him with patience to endure thy visitation and direct mee to the meanes which may conduce to his recoverie if thou in thy secret decree hast so determined it Ps 6.2 Have mercy upon him ô Lord for hee is weake ô Lord heale him and free him from his sufferings Thou art hee that tookest him out of my wombe Ps 22.9 Ps 9.13 Ps 41.2 and canst as easily if thou pleasest lift him up now from the gates of death Preserve him ô God if it may be thy heavenly pleasure and keepe him alive that hee may be blessed upon earth ô heale his soule and raise him up againe Give a blessing to the meanes which shall be used for his recovery Ps 119 91. Ps 56.8 that all things in their order may be knowne to serve thee O let the teares of mee thine afflicted supplicant be put into thy botle and let the cryes of mee thy mournefull hand-mayd who beg for this infant be heard in the eares of thee the Lord of hosts Thou thy selfe didst weepe ô Christ Io. 11.35 for the death of Lazarus take compassion therfore on the weeping mother of this diseased child O let not my teares be shed in vaine but mercifully free this infant from his anguish and sufferings Yet howsoëver thou hast decreed righteous father not my will Mat 26.39 Ier 10.24 but thy will be done Onely let mee besiech thee to visit him in mercy and not in thy fury lest he be consumed and brought to nought Make him able to beare what thou determinest to send and in thy good time raise him out of this miserie Lord give mee allso a willing submission to thy holy pleasure that so I may neither discover too much fondnesse of affection to this my beloved issue when I see him subject to frailtie and mortalitie nor too immoderately grieve if thou receavest him to thy selfe Forgive whatsoëver is amisse in him and let his soule de deare and pretious in thy sight O Let thy mercy pleade against thy severitie let thy gratious promises be had in thy remembrance and let thy Christ be heard in his intercession both for mee and mine To thy will ô Lord make mee readily submitt to thy holy pleasure make mee willingly yeeld Thine is this infant Ps 39.13 and thou lentest him mee ô spare him a litle that hee may recover his strength before hee goe hence and be noe more seene To thy pleasure ô heavenly father I willingly refer him besieching thee to send him thy grace while hee shall remaine upon earth and after that receave him into glory for the worthinesse of thine onely begotten Sonne Iesus Christ our onely Lord and Saviour Amen subject 17 THE SEAVENTEENTH SUBjECT Teares of a Mother for the death of her child The Soliloquie THE EjACULATION Psal 5.
dyed shee vers 19 poore soule being greate with child when the storie of these sad accidents was related unto her bowed her selfe and fell in travaile for her paines came upon her yea at length when shee was delivered of her Ichabod vers 21 she gave up the ghost Thus the Priests fell by the sword Ps 78.64 and noe widow was left to make lamentation True it is that my affliction is greate in the death of my husband yea so greate that herewith the slanderous enemie of the Psalmist was severely cursed Ps 109.9 Let his children be fatherlesse and his wife a widow yet is it farre better to see him goe downe to the grave in peace then that hee should have lingered in continuall miserie Ier 22.12 Shallum the sonne of Iosiah King of Iudah was caried captive by an enemie into another land and dyed there which the Prophet confidering speaketh and saith vers 10 Weepe not for the dead neither bemoane him but weepe for him that goëth away for hee shall returne noe more nor see his native countrie This might have beene the portion allso of my beloved but since it was not though my losse be greate yet must not my sorrow be too greate Immoderate griefe for those that are dead was the practise of heathens it becometh not the children of God The Israelites were forbidden it even by God himselfe who saith unto them Lev 19 28. Deut 14.1 Yee shall not make any cutting in your flesh for the dead nor print any markes upon you I am the Lord. And againe Yee are the children of the Lord your God yee shall not cut your selves nor make any baldnesse betweene your eyes for the dead The Gentiles indeede at the death of friends were so trans-ported with sorrow that they cut themselves Ier 16.6 made themselves bald in the greatnesse of their lamentations They carved their flesh and marked themselves for idolatrie yea they allso cut their skinnes when a friend deceased and the wounds they filled up with either Stibium or inke or what colour they pleased which remained in the flesh when the skinne was growne over In all their sorrowes such kinds of inscisions were ordinarie testimonies of the griefe of their hearts Ier 41.5 Thus the fowre score men that came from Shechem from Shiloh and from Samariah had their beards shaven and their clothes rent and they had cut themselves and had offerings and incense in their hands to bring to the house of the Lord. Thus when the Priests of Baall did call on the name of their Idoll 1. King 18.28 they cryed alowd and cut themselves after their manner with knives and lancers 'till the blood gushed out upon them Yet though it was the practise of the Gentiles it may not be of Christians nor might it be of the Israëlites they therfore punished it with many stripes And just it was that when their violent hands had un-naturally beene stained with the blood of their owne bodies the hand of justice should draw blood in the punishment of such a cruell offence The Iewes might not cut themselves at the death of a friend noe though of a father because they were not fatherlesse while the Lord was their God The infidells indeede had noe share in the most high and therfore were fatherlesse when their sires deceased but it was not so with Israel nor is it so with mee I have a father which is in heaven Mat 6.9 to whom my husband is gone before mee I have a husband too which is in heaven even the same who was a husband to Iudah and Israël I have a head too which is in heaven Ier 31.32 even my Saviour Christ Eph 5.23 who is the head of the Church I have a brother too which is in heaven even my elder brother Iesus Christ Why then should I grieve that my husband is dead since hee is but gone to the place where my treasure is layed up Mat. 6.20 and where my immortall father and head and brother have crowned him with immortalitie My God hath taken him that I may know where to find him Whilest hee continued upon earth his imployments did often deprive mee of his societie but now is hee seated in a place of rest to which when I come wee shall never be seperated Whilest hee was here my affection unto him indeede was greate and that was my duety but yet I feare that I offended in the excesse Had I not loved him too much I should not be immoderate in my sorrow but even by these teares I am taught the sinfullnesse of my passion For this sinne therfore will I strive to weepe even for the trespasse of my weeping I should never have beene so offensively sensible of this my losse nor so vaine in my laments if I had allways remembred that hee was created mortall and had therfore trusted in him who is immortall If I doe love my God more then I did my husband I shall find both comfort and content in his mercy Lord how fraile and weake am I that I cannot discharge the debt of nature but I must bring in question the power of grace I cannot grieve for the death of my departed husband without discovering some diffidence some distrust in my God But I will pray unto the Lord to for give the excesse of my love to my deceased husband the excesse of my teares for the death of my husband and to convert these teares into dropps of sorrow for my hainous offences To him will I hasten to him will I speedily addresse my selfe and mournfully will I cry and begge and pray and say The Prayer FAther of mercies and God of all consolation Ioa 11.25 vers 26 thou who art the resurrection and the life in whom whosoëver believeth shall live though hee were dead and in whom whosoëver liveth and believeth shall not die eternally send downe thy grace into my sinfull soule that I may magnifie thy name for delivering thy servant from the miseries of this life and for inthroning him in the celestiall â—erusalem where I doubt not but hee reigneth Thou knewest his sufferances and the sharpenesse of his sicknesse in mercy didst release him of his miserie to crowne him with glory Thy favours were infinite in his spirituall comforts when his body languished through the extreamitie of his disease By thy scourge thou taughtest him how thou abhorrest sinne yet I doubt not but thou hast freed him from the torments of hell through the sufferances of thy Sonne For thy goodnesse to him thy name be glorified and I humbly besiech thee to extend thy mercy likewise unto her who honoureth thee for it Thou knowest Lord the distresse of my soule for want of him whom thou hast taken from mee Thou seest mine affliction and thou numberest my teares O be gratious unto mee thine unworthy servant and send mee comfort in the midst of these sorrows Give mee grace
meete thee my God and my mercifull Redeemer O God comfort mee O Christ strengthen mee O Iesus save mee Prepare mee for the happie hower of my deliverance from this world and then bring mee out of this valley of teares to those waters of comfort where I may sing tryumphantly to the honour of thy name through Iesus Christ my Lord and my Redeemer Amen subject 25 THE TWENTIE-FIFTH SUBjECT Teares of a mother on her death-bed blessing her children The Soliloquie Consisting of two parts viz 1 Her preparation to blesse them 2 The blessing it selfe ending in a prayer part 1 The First part of the Soliloquie being her preparation to blesse them THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words ô Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voyce of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray CHildren are an heritage of the Lord saith the Psalmist Ps 127.3 and the fruit of the wombe is his reward True indeede they come from the Lord and happy are they if they returne unto him Gracious hath my God beene to mee in the loane of my issue but unlesse hee shall be pleased to adde grace unto nature his blessing will be fearfully converted into a curse Weakenesse possesseth my body faintnesse my spirits 2. Tim. 4.6 and the time of my departure is neere at hand Goe I must yea and I am willing and joyfull to meete my God but oh the thought of my children disturbeth my mind and the consideration of what may become of them filleth my dying heart with cares and anxjeties If they live not in the feare of him who lent them unto mee my poore issue may become the fewell of hell What shall I doe If I should live I would take such care by the blessing of my God as that I might be a meanes to nurture them up in the feare of the most high but if I am taken away from them who can tell what their education may prove Strangers may governe them and such people for ought I know may undertake their tuition as may neglect the care of religious instructions and suffer them to runne head-long to the gulfe of perdition O what a curse would it prove beyond expression if that part of my selfe which is divided into litle ones if those which cost mee so many pangs and throwes should be disobedient to my God and so be sentenced to the flames of eternall horrour Alas I can doe noe more then what the Lord will permit mee While I am here I am bound both by nature and grace to endeavour my utmost for their holy advantage but when I shall be dissolved lye in the cold clods of my mother earth then can noe more care be expected from mee Ah my poore infants litle doe they thinke how they will misse their mother and wish mee alive againe as if they envyed my happinesse Hither and thither they may be tossed and tumbled and which is worst of all they may be brought up in ignorance or in lewdnesse and sensualitie Mee think's I see the frownes of a stepmother and the knitted browes menacing nothing but crueltie and tyrannie and then mee think's they weepe in one corner and lament in another bemoane their hard happ in the losse of my selfe Their hungrie bellies may be pinched with famine their bodies with cold and their backs with stripes when I shall not either heare or see or know it my head being layed in the low and silent grave Helpe they may call for when none will have the pittie to render them helpe So they may want and cry and be beaten and cry and be turned out of doores and cry when yet neither mercy will heare nor charitie hearken to the complaints of the motherlesse But why doe I spend so many of these swift minuits of my short continuance in such pensive melancholick and distrustfull thoughts and feares of what may happen True it is that these and others yea and worse inconveniences may happen to their bodies and yet they may prove the children of the Most high That ô that is all that I aime at for though I would not willingly have them suffer in their bodies yet I would not for a thousand worlds that they should suffer in their soules Hunger and thirst and stripes and nakednesse may be endured and in time either age or wealth or friends may free them from these out-ward sufferances but ignorance and ungodlinesse without the infinite mercies and goodnesse of my Redeemer will be punished with torments that shall never have end O what shall I doe then for my poore distressed children Grieve I doe but I feare that I offend in it mourne I doe but I doubt it is more then indeede I ought God is not weake or ignorant or impotent Hee hath beene a father to mee from the time of my conception and shall I yet distrust in his providence and protection of my children This were either to suspect his power or to deny his mercie I know it is his desire that they should be heires of salvation and I know that hee can effect whatsoever hee desireth To him therfore I will leave them to his care and tuition I will referre my tender and beloved plants And that hee may the more willingly become their guardiaen when I shall leave them while I live I will beseech him with abundance of my teares to admitt them his servants The wife of Zebideus made a bolder request to my gracious Redeemer Mat 20.21 for shee be sought him that those her two sonnes might sit the one on his right hand and the other on his left in his Kingdome vers 22 Shee poore woman as Christ replyed did not know what shee asked Shee knew not that the Kingdome of Christ was celestiall but dreamed of an earthly diademe and glory Her request was therfore the fuller both of boldnesse and ambition whom noe place would serve for those her children but what was highest and next to supreamest majestie Yet mee thinks I cannot much blame her for her love to them whom so dearely shee had bought There is noe earthly love to be compared to the love of a woman nor is any womans love to be compared to the love of a mother Surely David did not know how strong this passion of love is in the weaker vessells when hee said The love of Ionathan to him was wonderfull 2. Sam. 1.26 passing the love of women Wee mothers are like unto the charet of King Solomon whereof though the pillars were of silver Cant 3 10. and the bottome of gold and the covering of purple yet the midst thereof was paved with love for the daughters of Ierusalem Is 49.15 Can a woman saith God forget her sucking child that shee should not have compassion on the sonne of her wombe 'T is very rare indeede and yet it is possible for hee himselfe doeth say that they may forget Yet
blesse you if yee be righteous vers 28 Ps 5.12 Ps 115.13 2. Tim 4.6 and â—ith favour hee will compasse you as with a shield Hee will blesse them that feare him both small and greate And now my children I have not much more to say to you for the time of my departure is at hand If yee doe heartily love your God I know that yee will affectionately love each other yee will be observant to your guardians and instructours yee will be courteous unto all Be not dismayed at any crosse or affliction at any losse or povertie which may fall upon you Mat 6.33 Deut 28.8 Ex 23.25 but seeke yee first the Kingdome of God and his righteousnesse and then all other things shall be added unto you Then the Lord shall command the blessing upon you both in your store-houses in all that yee set your hands unto Hee shall blesse your bread and your water Deutâ— 28.3 and take away sicknesse from the midst of you Blessed shall yee be in the citty and blessed shall yee be in the field vers 4. Blessed shaâ— be the fruits of your bodies and the fruit of your grounds and the fruits of your cattell and the increase of your kine and the flocks of your sheepe vers 5. Blessed shall be your basket vers 6. and your store Blessed shall yee be when yee come in and blessed shall yee beâ— when yee goe forth c. 7.13 The Lord will love youâ— and will blesse you and multiplie you buâ— will allso blesse the fruit of the wombe unto you and the fruit of your land and your corne and your wine and your oyle and the increase of your kine and the flocks of your sheepe in the places where yee shall live c. 28.12 Hee will open unto you his good treasure the heaven to give the raine unto your land in his season and to blesse all the worke of your hands Gen. 49.25 and yee shall lend unto many and yee shall not borrow Hee shall helpe you and blesse you with the blessings of heaven above blessings of the deepe that lyeth under and blessings of the breasts of the wombe And that hee may thus blesse you the same Lord direct your hearts preserve you in his blessing All that I can doe now is to pray for you and my weakenesse will hardly permit mee to doe that yet so long as I can speake I trust I shall pray and in my petitions remember both my selfe and you While I am yet alive it is my duety to pray for you and it is your duety allso to pray for mee The Lord graunt that wee may all doe what hee requireth at 〈◊〉 hands Doe not yee grieve too much that I am so neere my rest for it is the decree of â—…y God and the longing expectation of my â—earied selfe The Lord give you patience to â—ndure this affliction and the Lord give mee â—atience and perseverance unto the end Now I goe the way of all the earth 1. King 2.2 Keepe yee the Charge of the Lord your God to walke in his wayes to keepe his statutes vers 3. and his commandements and his judgments and his â—estimonies as it is written in the Scriptures that yee may prosper in all that yee doe and whithersoëver yee turne your hands The Lord give you the blessing of Iudah Deut. 33.7 and â—eare your voyces and let your hands be sufficient for you and let him be an helper to you from your enemies and the Lord give you the blessing of Benjamin vers 12 The Lord cover you all the day long and dwell betweene your shoulders And the Lord give you the blessing of Ioseph vers 13 Blessed of the Lord be your land for the pretious things of heaven for the deaw and for the deepe that coucheth beneath vers 14 and for the pretious fruits brought forth by the Sunne vers 16 and for the pretious things put forth by the Moone and for the pretious things of the earth and fullnesse thereof and for the good will of him that dwelt in the hush The eternall God be your resuge vers 27 and underneath you the everlasting armes 2. Sam. 7.26 And now ô Lord God let it please thee to blesse the house of thy servant Vers 29 and with thy blessing letâ— familie of thy servant be blessed for ever Deut. 26.15 ps 67.1 Lâ—… downe from thine holy habitation from heare and blesse them O my God he mercifull uâ— them and blesse them and cause thy face to 〈◊〉 upon them And now with Iacob I have made an 〈◊〉 of commanding you Gen. 49.33 and ready I am to gathâ—… up my feete into the bed and to yeeld up the 〈◊〉 and to be gathered unto my fathers Onâ—… come yee neere my deere ones that I 〈◊〉 kisse you and that my cold and clammy haâ—… may be layed upon your heads that I may once more blesse you and dye Fare-well my prettie ones farewell the children of my deare affection 2. Cor. 13.11 I must leave you and I hope I shall leave my God with you who will be unto you a father of mercies and 〈◊〉 God of all consolation Once more fare-well 1. Pet. 3 8. 2. Tim. 4.23 Love as brethren and the God of love and peace be with you The Lord Iesus Christ be with your spirits Grace be with you all Amen subject 26 THE TWENTIE-SIXTH SUBjECT Teares of a dying woman wherein is set downe her religious exercises 1 A Soliloquie in which is set forth 1 A desire of life 2 The certaintie of death 2 A godly preparation against the minuit of death 3 A prayer of the sick 4 The consolation of the godly in the hower of death 5 The resignation of the soule into the hands of God exercise 1 â—he Soliloquie wherein is set forth part 1 1. A desire of life THE EjACULATION â—sal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words o Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray VVHen Ahazia had fallen downe through a lattesse in his upper chamber 2. King 1.2 that was in Samaria and was sick of 〈◊〉 fall hee sent messengers to enquire of Baal-zebub the God of Ekron whether hee should recover of that dangerous sicknesse Every one desireth a fore-knowledg of events that they might prevent those dangers which otherwise might ensue Herein mee thinks wee endeavour a kind of imitation of our maker labouring unjustly for his attribute of prae-science But if wee desire what hee forbiddeth wee seeke but our destruction in the pursuit of our desires Of some things hee often permitteth us a fore-knowledg and somethings againe hee hideth from us that so both by ouâ— knowledg wee may conjecture at what a blessing wee should have enjoyed had not Adam transgressed and allso that by our ignorance wee may
have mercy upon us Ps 30.11 Ps 65.2 Ps 69.34 â—ord be thou our helper O thou that hearest â—rayer thou that hearest the poore and despisest â—ot the prisoners cause thou us to fast and â—ay and reade and weepe and repent as thou â—equirest Is 58.8 that our light may breake forth as the â—orning our health may spring forth speedily â—o our righteousnesse shall goe forth before us â—he glory of thee our Lord shall be our reward Mat 2.18 Oh how dolefull is this voyce which is heard in â—ur Rama this lamentation and weeping and great mourning Rachel weeping for her children â—nd will not be comforted because they are not Al-mighty God everlasting father Is 9.6 prince of â—eace thou who didst comfort thy disciples that in thee they might have peace Io. 16.33 Gen 8.11 because in the world they should have tribulation be pleased I beseech thee in mercy to send thy dove with the olive leafe of peace into this our distressed Kingdome When thy servant Solomon dedicated his temple to thy holy worship he prayed unto thee and sayd 1 King 8.33 When thy people Israel shall be smitten downe before the enemie because they have sinned against thee and shall turne againe to thee and confesse thy name and pray vers 34 and make supplication unto thee Then heare thou in heaven and forgive the sinne of thy people Israel and bring them againe to the land which thou gavest to their fathers Heavenly father wâ— are smitten downe before our enemies anâ— that because wee have sinned against thee but by thy grace wee turne againe to the and confesse thy name and pray and makâ— our supplications to thee in thy templesâ— Heare thou us in heaven and forgive thâ— sinns of thy distressed and back-sliding Israel compose our grievous divisions and destructions Mercifull father bow downe thine eare to mee the worst of all this thine Israel who in the name of our whole nation doe here beseech thee to be pacified with this broken Kingdome smitten downe with its owne bloody and sharpest sword Make us all 〈◊〉 turne againe unto thee and pray and maâ—… our supplications unto thee more frequentâ— and more fervently then formerly wee haâ—… done that thou mayst heare us and he alt our land O thou sword of the Lord hoâ— long will it be ere thou be quiet Ier 47.6 Put up thy sell into thy skabbard rest and be still O God of peace ô Prince of peace thou and thoâ— onely it is who makest warrs to cease in all the world Ps 46.9 when so thou pleasest who breakest the bowe and knappest the speare iâ— sunder and burnest the chariots in the fire O give thou unto us thy wounded people such rest on every side 1. King 5.4 c 8.57 that wee may have neither adversarie nor evill occurrent Doe thou o Lord our God be with us as thou wert with our fathers doe not leave us nor forâ—ke us Make us incline our hearts to thee vers 58 â—d walke in thy wayes and keepe thy comâ—andements and thy statutes and thy judgâ—ents which thou commandedst our fathers Thou o God art the God of peace thou Rom 15.33 〈◊〉 Christ art the Prince of peace thou o heaâ—enly and blessed Spirit art the Dove of â—eace o thou united Trinitie give peace in his our land that wee may lie downe Lev 26 6. and â—one may make us afraid O let not the â—word any longer goe through our land but doe â—hou walke among us and be our God vers 12 and let â—s be thy people Give peace in our time 〈◊〉 Lord let the righteous flourish Ps 72.7 yea and â—boundance of peace so long as the moone endureth Give the King thy judgments vers 1. 〈◊〉 God and thy righteousnesse unto the Kings Sonnes Let the mountaines bring forth peace vers 3. and the litle hills righteousnesse unto thy people O King of Kings and Lord of Lords doe thou in mercy direct and continue our Soveraigne Lord the King in the truth and purity of our religion without inclining either to the right hand or to the left Make him allways a Royall protectour a zealous professour and a constant practiser of the same Blesse him o thou God of blessings in his Royall Person blesse him in his Consort blesse him in his Issue blesse him in his Counsellers and blesse him in all his People even froÌ„ Dan to Beersheba Be propitious ô thou wonderfull Counsellâ— in an especiall and peculiar manner unto thâ— head and members of our high and most honâ—…rable Parliament Doe thou knitt and unâ— them doe thou guide and direct them in aâ— their counsells and consultations that they maâ— unanimously joyntly conclude upon such who some lawes as may tend to the suppression oâ— wickednesse and vice and the maintenance of thy true religion and vertue rooting up all atheisne and profanenesse all herefie and superstition all schisme and faction that both church and common wealth may be religiously and firmely knitted and tyed together in the unitie of the spirit Ps 85.11 by the bond of peace Let thy truth o Goâ— of truth flourish out of the earth and righteounesse looke downe from heaven Doe thou Loâ— shew thy loving kindnesse unto thy people vers 12 〈◊〉 let our land give it's increase Let thy peopâ—… dwell in peaceable habitations Isa 32.18 and in suâ— dwellings and in quiet resting places Cauâ—… thou us to beate our swords into ploâ— shares c 2.4 and our speares into pruning-hookesâ— and suffer us not to learne such civill warâ— any more c 11.5 Let righteousnesse be the girdâ— of our loynes and faithfulnesse the girdle of our reines vers 6. Let the wolfe allso dwell with tâ— lamb and the leopard lie downe with the kiâ— and the calfe and the young lyon and the fatling together and let a litle child leadâ— them vers 8. Let a sucking child play on the hole of â—he aspe and a weaned child put his hand on the â—ockatrice denne Breake thou the bowe Hos 2.18 and the sword and the battell out of the earth and make us to lie downe safely vers 19 Betroth us unto thee for ever in righteousnesse and in judgment and in loving kindnesse and in mercies O let us sit downe every one under our vines Mic 4.4 and under our fig trees let there be none en make us afraid Glory be to thee ô God in the highest Luc 2.14 Io 14.27 1. Sam. 25.6 2. Thes 3.16 Rom 5.1 Eph. 2.14 and on earth peace and good will towards men Suffer not ô eternall peace the hearts of us to be troubled neither let us be afraid Peace be both to us and peace be to our houses and peace be to all that wee have and that in and through him who is the Lord of peace Iustifie us all by faith that wee may have peace with thee
our God through our Lord Iesus Christ for hee is our peace who hath made both one and hath broken downe the middle wall of partition betweene us The peace of thee our God Phil 4.7 which passeth all understanding keepe all our hearts and minds through Iesus Christ our onely Lord and Saviour Amen The Third prayer wherein the Lord is humbly implored that our Bloody battells may be turned into a Spirituall war-fare O Eternall blessed Redeemer Mat 10 34. vers 35 thou who camest not to send peaâ—… on earth but the sword and to sets man at variance against his father and the daughter against her mother and the daughter in law against her mother in law and to cause that a man's foes should be those of his owne house-hold vers 36 behold in mercy I most humbly beseech thee this Sick and woundâ—… land wherein those words of my Redeeme according to the letter are most stricktly made good O my God my onely stay and comfort my onely refuge tower of defence be pleased I beseech thee to turne the letter into the spirit that what is verified in the first senst may be made true onely in the last Wheâ— Knowledg and Life grew upon Trees Innocen Adam was neither dull of apprehension Cen 2.9 noâ— fearfull of death But since his Fall wee find to our griefes that wee neither understand thy word of truth so fully as wee should nor art wee freed from the howerly feares of death destruction But for as much as thou o my God hast beene a teacher of peace and righteousnesse unto thy people and that the◠〈◊〉 Civill and bloody Warrs are noe other then 〈◊〉 judgment sent from thee upon the heads of 〈◊〉 for our crimson iniquities doe thou teach is all I humbly pray thee that wee ought not to warre after the flesh 2. Cor. 10.3 though wee walke 〈◊〉 the flesh Thine Apostle tell 's us that the weopons of our war fare ought not to be carnall vers 4. â—ut spirituall mighty through thee to the pulling downe of strong holds vers 5. casting downe imaginaâ—ions and every high thing that exalteth it selfe against the knowledg of thee our God and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ O Lord our God doe thou make us all as strangers and pilgrimes 1. Pet. 2.11 to obstaine from â—leshly lusts which warre against the soule that â—hus wee may warre a good war-fare 1. Tim. 1.18 c. 6.12 To this purpose teach us I pray thee to fight the good fight of faith and that wee may be the better fitted for it Eph. 6.11 make us to put on the whole armour of thee our God that wee may â—he able to stand against the wyles of the devill vers 14 vers 15 Doe thou enable us to stand having our loynes girt about with truth and having on the breast-plate of righteousnesse and our feete shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace Above all things make us take the shield of faith vers 16 where-with wee shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked vers 17 Rom. 13.12 2. Corâ— 6.7 and the helmet of salvation and the sword of the spirit which is the word of thee our God Arme us o father with the armour of light and with the armour of righteousnesse on the right hâ—… and on the left 2. Tim 2.3 and then shall wee leaâ—… endure hardnesse as good souldiâ—rs of Iesus Châ—… Make our Captaines such as was the righâ—… teous Centurion in the gospel Mat. 8.9 Act 10 1. vers 2. or like dâ—vout Cornelius a centurion of the Italiâ—…band even devout men fearing thee our Geâ— with all their house holds giving much almeâ—… the people and praying to thee allways Teaâ—… our inferiour souldiers to know that it is theâ— duety to doe violence to noe man Luc 3.14 neither 〈◊〉 accuse any falsly and to be contented with thâ— wages Rom. 13.12 Let them know and consider that 〈◊〉 night is farr spent and the day is at hand makâ— them therfore to cast off the works of darknessâ— and to put on the armour of light vers 13 Cause thoâ— us all to walke honestly as in the day not rioting and drunkennesse not in chambering as wantonnesse vers 14 not in strife and envying 〈◊〉 putting on thee our Lord Iesus Christ as making noe provision for the flesh to fulfill 〈◊〉 lusts thereof 2. Tim. 4.7 So shall wee fight a good fighâ— and finish our courses and keepe the faith assuring our selves with thine holy Apostle that henceforth is layd up for us a crowâ— of righteousnesse which thou Lord the righteoâ—… judg shalt give us at that day vers 8. and not 〈◊〉 us onely but unto all them all so which lovâ— thine appearing Heb 13 20. Now thou God of peacâ— who broughest againe from the dead our Lorâ— Iesus Christ that greate sheep-heard of the sheepe through the blood of the everlasting covenant vers 2â— Make us perfect in every good worke to doe thy will working in us that which is well pleasing in thy sight through â—esus Christ to whom be glory for ever and ever Amen FINIS