THE PENITENT PILGRIM Few and evill have the dayes of my life been Gen Cap 47. v. 9. LONDON Printed by John Dawson 1641. THE PENITENT PILGRIM PSAL. 66. 16. Come and hearken all yee that feare God and I will tell you what he hath done to my soule LONDON Printed by Iohn Dawson and are to be sold by Iohn Williams at the signe of the Crane in Pauls Church yard 1641. TO THAT IMMACVLATE LAMBE CHRIST IESVS THE SOLE SAVIOUR AND RECEIVER OF EVERY PENITENT SINNER HATH THIS POORE PILGRIM HUMBLY HERE PRESENTED THESE HIS PENITENTIALL TEARES The Summe or Graduall Symptome of the Penitent PILGRIM CHAP. 1. THe poore Penitent Pilgrim bemones his present sinfull condition 2 His comming into Idumaea the companions hee consorted with there 3 How his owne Meniâ—y became his deadliest Enemy 4 His encounters with the world 5 His Combat with the flesh 6 What Assaults hee suffered by the Divell both in company aâ—â—â—rivacy 7. Three Engines by his spirituall Enemy reared that his Fort might be razed 8. The Concupiscence of the flesh 9. The Concupiscence of the eyes 10. The pride of life 11. How neither the Law of Nature nor Grace could call him home from his wandring course 12. Hee takes a view of the whole Decalogue and hee scarce finds in it one Commandement wherein either in part of in all hee has not beene a most grievous Delinquent 13 Hee examines himselfe touching the First Commandement 14 His breach of the Law touching the Second Commandement 15 His transgressing of the Third in prophaning Gods name 16 His dishonour to Gods Sabbath 17 Hee confesseth how this bloody issue of sin streamed forth likewise into a breach of the second Table and first of disobedience to his parents 18 His contempt of the second in his practising mischiefe against his Neighbour 19 His contempt of the Third in playing the Wanton 20 His breach of the Fourth in his cunning defeating of his Neighbour 21 His breach of the Fifth in suppressing testimonies to witnesse a truth or suborning witnesses to maintaine an untruth 22 His dis-esteeme of the Sixt and last in coveting what was anothers and desiring to increase his owne with the losse of others 23 Hee takes a view of those seven spirituall works of mercy and acknowledgeth his failings in each of them 24 Teaching the ignorant 25 Correcting the delinquent 26 Counselling the indigent 27 Comforting the afflicted 28 Suffering injuries patiently 29 Forgiving offences heartily 30 Praying for his Persecutors fervently 31 Hee takes the like view of those seven corpor all works of mercy and acknowledgeth likewise his failings in each of them 32 Feeding the hungry 33 Giving drinke to the thirsty 34 Harbouring the harbour lâ—sse 35 Cloathing the naked 36 Vâ—siting the sick 37 Visiting redeeming the captive 38 Burying the dead 39 With sorrow of heart he remembers those eight Beatitudes whereof hee hath deprived himselfe by giving entertainment to sin 40 Blessed are the poore in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven 41 Blessed are the meeke for they shall possesse the Earth 42 Blessed are they that mourne for they shall be comforted 43 Blessed are they that hunger and thirst after righteousnesse for they shall be satisfied 44 Blessed are the mercifull for they shall obtaine mercy 45 Blessed are the cleane in heart for they shall see God 46 Blessed are the Peace-makers for they shall be called the children of God 47 Blessed are they that suffer persecution for righteousnesse sake for theirs is the kingdome of heaven 48 How seven Guests under a colour of lodging with him sought his undoing 49 Pride 50 Covetousnesse 51 Lechery 52 Envy 53 Gluttony 54 Wrath. 55 Sloath. 56 How by their treacherous assault his Cinque ports become endangered 57 Sight 58 Hearing 59 Smell 60 Taste 61 Touch. 62 Being thus encompassed with danger â—ee 〈◊〉 himselâ—e for 〈◊〉 63 〈…〉 prayer and in every particular he finds himselfe a great Offender 64 Hee renders a private accompt of his Faith and in every Article of the Creed he finds a fainting failing weaknesse and want 65 Having thus examined himselfe and found in the whole course of his life a fainting in faith and failing in works He recals to mind those Quatuor Novissima oâ— Foure lasâ— Remembrances Memorials hourely necessary for all Christans 66 Death 67 Iudgement 68 Hell 69 Heaven 70 With the Remembrance of these He becomes afflicted in spirit 71 Faith appeares vnto him with a cheerefull presence affording him comfort in his affliction 72 Hope seconds that comfort 73 Charity promiseth him in this vaile of misery to cover all his scarlet sinnes with the white robe of mercy and by keeping her company conduct him safely to the kingdome of glory 74 He takes comfort And now wearied with sojourning longer in Idumaea he turnes to Canaan 75 The poore peniteut Pilgrims last Will and Testament His Funerall Obsequies The Pilgrims Prayer LOoke upon me deare Father thy poore Penitent Pilgrim I confesse Lord I confesse that if thou shouldst deale with mee according to my iniquity there were no hope at all left to me of mercy For what houre in all my life since my first entrance into this life wherein I have not in some manner or measure nay above all measure become a grievous transgressour But there is mercy with thee and therefore art thou fearedâ— mean time I of all others have greatest cause to feare for abusing thy mercy I have plentuously tasted of thy love and considering it I have many times resolved to become a faithfull convert and zealous observer of thy Law But these faire promises clâ—sed in a weake performance No sooner was therâ— the least opportunity offâ—red me of sinning then it found in me an easie impression Pregnant was I in conceiving prompt in consenting and prone in committing Yet Lord when I was going down evento the gates of hell left I should enter in thou held me And when I drew neere the gates of death lest they should receive me thy grace prevented me Whence I perceived by the influence of thy sweet Spirit whereby I became enlightned that whensoever I fell it was through my owne frailty but wheÌ„soever I rose it was through thy great mercy Yea I foundthee ready in every opportunity to afford me thy helping hand in my greatest necessity When I wandred thou recalled me when I was ignorant thou instructed me when I sinned thou corrected mee when I sorrowed thou comforted me when I fell thou raised me when I stood thou supported mee when I went thou directed me when I slept thou kept me when I cried thou heard me Nay shall I more fully declare thy good nesse towards me If after these few but evill dayes of my pilgrimage even now when the keepers of the house tremble and the strongmen bow themselves and the grinders cease because they are few and they waxe darke that looke out by the windowes if I say after these many too many
till I became a miserable Begger Then and never till then did I consider what I had done For by this time had I forgot my Fathers House So long and so sweetly had I been lulled in the Lappe of Sin But having now reap'd the fruites of my Disobedience I begun to have a remorse of Conscience and to have some small sensible feeling of repentance But never till such time as I had fed freely of those empty huskes of vanity and found my selfe so miserably poor as if I return'd not back to my Fathers House I might of necessity perish there were no remedy Nay I must to my shame confesse it that such was my disobedience and so crooked my will amidst my greatest necessities that this my aversion from evill and conversion to good rather proceeded from want of meanes then sincerity of will For had my Portion continued the arme of Sin had been nothing shortned And yet had my want brought mee to this naturall consideration as to thinke with my selfe what Pâ—rents were What benefits I had received from them how they had done for mee what I could never possibly do for them How Creatures endued onely with sense by a naturall instinct bore that tender love and obedience to their Parents as in their age they foster'd them on their wings they carried them desiring rather that they themselves should perish then their Parents suffer which gave a being unto them But these Considerations onely floated upon the Waters of mine heart they never sunck A natural pronenesse to obey the Lusts of my Flesh hung such heavy poizes on the Wings of my Obedience as they kept me from mounting desiring rather to dye then wholly to leave my rebellion Thus was I never weary of transgressing till my transgressions became weary of mee Neither was I sensible of what disobedience meant till I was brought to a Consideration of it through want Wo is mee How could I promise to my selfe length of dayes when I had disseised my selfe of that promise by my disobedient wayes How could I be lesse then rejected of my Father in Heaven who had borne my selfe so disobediently to my Father on Earth How could I look for an inheritance falling so desperately into all disobedience O my deare Lord to whom Obedience is better then Sacrifice call mee now home unto thee Let me no longer run on in my rebellious Course Like a Childe that feareth to be beate let mee tremble at thy judgments Like a Child that flyeth into his Fathers lappe let mee kisse thee for thy mercies Correct mee O Lord but not in thine anger for how shall I stand in thy displeasure O I know as there is no Sonne whom a Father will not correct with the rod of his love so is there no Father who has not a desire to deliver his Sonne Correct me O Lord as thou art my Saviour oh let it never be in thine heavy displeasure CHAP. 18. His contempt of the Second in his practising mischiefe against his Neighbour ONe may commit murder and shed no blood The very thoughts of our hearts may become Conspirators against our Neighbour and so wee murder him in our desires Caine sâ—ew his brother Abel which made him turne Runnagate by flying from Gods presence O how often have I slaine my brother in conceiving cruell thoughts which reflected upon his life fame and substance O how often have I in mine heart wished a sudden end unto mine Enemy And yet I was perswaded hee was not well prepared for death when I wished this unto him so as my desires were bent to murder him both in soule and body by wishing him so sudden and unprepared a death in his departure from the body Yea I will confesse against my selfe and with much bitternesse of heart will I acknowledge it that neither rich nor poore have beene freed from those murdâ—ring imaginations which my corrupt heart had secretly nursed For if he were rich I murdered him with Envy And in this act not only him but my selfe Wasting and eating up my owne marrow consuming my owne strength and falling away with a languishing desire of others ruine Againe were he poore I to my power murdered him by holding from him the staffe of bread when I might have relieved him by grating and grinding the face of the needy by oppressing him injuriously by laying heavier burdens on him then hee could beare O how can I remember these and sinke not downe with the horror of them Can I think that just God who heares the Orphans cry and bottles up the Widowes teares will not avenge himselfe of these things Can hee tender his little ones not revenge himselfe of those who make a prey and spoile of his little ones O no my Lord I know my guiltinesse is not hid from thee Nay I know well thou hast thy Bow ready bent and thine Arrowes in thy Quiver to shoot at the malicious and evill doer even at him that is of a subtile and deceitfull heart How then may I make my peace with thee How may I find favour in thy sight what shall I bee able to answer for my selfe against those my many Accusers While here one proves how I sought his life and with many bitter imprecations discovered my malice unto him Another accuseth me with impeaching his good name that precious perfume of every good man The third of his Substance saying that my wishes were often that he might be rest of it or it of him or that I my selfe might enjoy it with the losse of him Thus like a cruell and bloody Nimrod have I hunted for blood And though I did not actually shed it yet in desiring it and not seeking where I might to prevent it I cannot plead lesse then that I am guilty of it Now my fact is so foule that should I with the poore condemned Prisoner demand my Booke I could not hope to have the benefit of it yet there is a Booke wherein I have read what may afford mee much comfort by it At what timâ— soever a sinner doth repent him of his sinâ—e from the bottomâ— of his heart I will put away all his wickednesse out of my remembrance saith the Lord. It is the Lord that hath said it even he who as hee is gracious in his promise so is hee faithfull in his performance Hence is my trust that though my sinnes be as red as scarlet the blood of the Lambe will make them white Though my garments bee all red as those who came from Bosro my Saviour has in store a white roabe for me As white as the snow of Salmon shall my soule be made though she be now soil'd with the leprosie of sin Yea but dangerous wounds require longer cures My afflicted conscience tels mee that I have grievously sinned against his sacred Majesty both in quantity and quality I have not had God before mine eyes the pathes of righteousnesse were estranged from me Those sinnes which with such
greedinesse I had committed had sent forth their cry to the clouds they were of no inferior nature but suchas derogated highly from the honour of my Maker What may I then expect but that those Viols of his wrath should be poured forth even to the bottome if hee did not looke upon me with his eye of fatherly compassion It is true my deare Lord it is true No sinner ever exceeded me in number and nature yet comming to thee with an humble contrite heart receive me loving Father for one of thine Though my sinnes might justly make a partition wall betwixt my soule and thee my sweet Spouse for ever yet hast thou promised to be a Saviour to every penitent sinner O Lord looke upon me in thy mercy for my soule is sore vexed within me CHAP. 19. His Contempt of the Third in playing the Wanton IS it time to feast and play the Wanton when the Flood is comming Every houre ushers me to my Grave yet am I still farre off from receiving the motions of Grace Woe is me that my Dalilah has rob'd mee of my strength What a long time of youth did I lead as if that Spring would ne're have done How strongly nay how strangely have I beene taken with a whorish behaviour as if there had beene no well-beseeming beauty but what was accompanied by impudence How often have I taken delight in the count'nance of a strange woman How desirous have I beene to take how ready to bee taken That Belcâ—ne could not open nor in her opening discover the feature of a woman which my wanton eye did not fixe on Forbidden fruit and stolne waters were ever sweetest Lightnesse had got such possession of mee as were it in action or discourse there was nothing which took mine eare more or made the houre lesse tedious I had read how that the Adulterer and Whore-monger God would judge How that the pleasure of fornication was short but the punishment of the Fornicator eternall And sometimes I had the grace to consider with my selfe what thing this Eternity was And the more I begun to consider it the further I was from it yet I found it to bee such a thing as admitted no end and yet I unfortunately made a forfeiture of it for a moments pleasure Pleasure shall I call it no that cannot be properly called a pleasure but a torture which dams the soule for ever I found the deceitfulnesse of this sinne with what resolves I made hourely to become a true and unfeined Penitent never to returne to my vomit I consider'd how a continent soule was the precioust treasure how God would not dwell in that heart that was infected with this sinne All this I applyed to my heart but alas how long did it remaine uncorrupt No sooner was there an occasion of temptation offered then my vaine heart quite forgot what shee had resolved The thought of Eternity was presently choaked with an haplesse desire of enjoying what was lighter then vanity Woe is me that any reasonable soule should bee so deluded That neither the promises of a better life nor the shame of this present life could decline mee from working such iniquity I found how all bread was sweet unto the Adulterer How none was more estranged from his love then whom hee was bound most to love Thus I perished with open eyes for I knew well how the Harlot would bring a man even to a morsell of bread How her paths were full of deceipt and how her foot-stepps led unto death And I understood how there was nothing to be compared to a vertuous Woman and what felicity I enjoyed in such a Choice With what pious Obsequies I solemniz'd her Funeralls whom I once enjoyed with what purposes I entertained to remaine a constant Widdower after such time as I was deprived of her Yet though ripenesse of yeares had nipped in mee the blossoms of of youth nay though age had writ deepe furrows in my brow yet found I youth enough in my doating fancy For I am ashamed to thinke with what an unbeseeming lightnesse I encountred a strange face How soone I could gather by the wandring motion of her eye the disposition of her heart Thus in my declining age begun I to renue my acquaintance with light love and to practise that which did least become me So dangerous is the custome of sinne when it has taken full seazure or possession of the soule O my sweet Iesu clense me from my secret sinnes and give mee grace to remember these things with heavinesse of heart Let me goe all the day mourning and with teares of hearty contrition move thy tender heart to compassion O cuâ—e this bloody issue of my sinne apply unto my bleeding wounds a present cure As thou lookt upon Magdalen and made her an holy Saint of an hainous sinner so looke upon mee with the eye of pitty that I may find thee in the day of my visitation a gracious Saviour CHAP. 20. His breach of the Fourth in his cunning defeating of his Neighbour MY conscience hath oft-times told me and woe is mee that I remembred it not how there were many other kinds of Theft besides purloyning or imbezling of my Neighbours goods In defeating him of what was due unto him nay in finding what I knew to bee his and not restoring it unto him this even this convinc'd my conscience of guilt and that I was a Robber of him These seeme but light sinnes and of such easie digestion as they seeme no sinnes at all But these must not be forgotten for they are writ in his Booke with a pen of steele and are not to be wiped away but with the soft Spunge of his mercy I have often thought out of the foolishnesse of mine heart that privily to take away or defeat any one of small toyes or trifles as I accounted them was no sinne because they were of small or no weight whereas if I had knowne the quality of sinne aright I would have confest that it was not the value of the thing but the intention of the heart that made the sinne It skils not much whether the substance be vile or precious which is unjustly procuted or injuriously required so as the affection bee to either of these equally corrupted Though they be of different dammage in respect of him from whom they are taken yet bring they equall detriment to him by whom they were taken O with what sighes with what teares did that devout Father bewayle his breaking into an Orchard though hee was then a Boy and therefore pardonable These are now so easily dispenc'd with as they are held but tricks of youth But hee could cry forth in the anguish of his spirit I have had a desire to perish O Lord I have had a desire to perish O how the sense of sinne makes the least seeming sinne appeare heavy O what may I thinke of my selfe who have gloried in these things A graine of sand though it
if presented by faith to the Throne of mercy The Enemy can never prevaile where Christian feare and constant hope possesse the Soule Let thy Desire then be planted where thy treasure is placed and as one ravished with a spirituall fervour cry out and spare not with that devout Father Should my Mother pull her haire teare her Clothes lay forth those Brests which nursed mee and in this sort hang about me should my Father lye in the way to stoppe me my Wife and Children weepe about mee I would throw off my Mother neglect my Father contemne the lamentation of my Wife and Children to meet my Saviour Christ Iesus And lesse then this O my soule thou canst not doe if thou callest to mind what thou leavest to whom thou goest and what thou hast in exchange for that thou loosest For what leavest thou here but a world of misery To whom goest thou but to a God of mercy And what hast thou in exchange but immortal glory for a vile fraile and corruptible body whatsoever thou hadst here was got with paine kept with feare and lost with griefe Whereas now thou art to possesse eternall riches without labouring and to enjoy them without feare of losing My heart then is ready my heart is ready too long have I sojourned here in making me a stranger to my heavenly Country It is high time for mee then to discamp and to leave these tents of Kedar that I may rest without labouring rejoyce without sorrowing and live without dying in the Celestiall Thabor Say then with that vessell of Election and thinke as thou sayest I desire to bee dissolved and to be with Christ. Even so Lord In sus come quickly FINIS His Obsequies NOw as yee have seen this poor penitent Pilgrim in Idumâ—a wandring and with the Prodigall Child happily returning so Christian charity assures you that hee is now in Canaan arriving Being after so many tedious dayes and nights of misery translated hence by the irrevocable sentence of mortality Let pious teares and prayers prevaile so farre with you that as yee have taken a full view of the whole progresse of his life so yee would performe a Christian Office in accompanying the solemn accomplishment of his Obsequies after death Draw neare then unto his Sepulcher and in it consider how yee are made of the very selfe same Mould and Matter and must as he has done pay your debt to nature Doe not like that unfruitfull Spectator or formall Mourner who comming amongst others to see his Friend buried and beholding dead mens skuls and bones peece-meale scattered with an easie sigh thence departed But when hee should have gone home to thinke of his last home by meditating of that Memoriall of Death he betooke himselfe to the Taverne to drench and drinke downe those melancholly thoughts in a deepe health Oh thinke from whence yee came and be ashamed Where yee are and be prepared whereto yee goe if unprepar'd and stand amazed from Earth was your beginning on Earth is your Pilgrim being but in Hell without repentance your perpetuall dwelling Dye then to Earth before yee leave Earth that leaving Earth yee may live in heaven the inheritance of the Iust upon Earth His Grave-stone HE whom here this Stone do's cover Whilest hee lived was no other Then a Pilgrim and your Brother But too long the Worlds Lover Would yee know that course of his In an Abstract it was this Long in Idumâ—a living Rich in favour fortune fame Strong in power to shield the same Never losing ever thriving He esteem'd himselfe sole-blest In those treasures he possest Mines and Magazins of gaine Various objects of delight Sported with his appetite Till those Guests hee 'd entertaine Made him to consider well Earth was but the Sinners Cell Pride first rais'd him to a Cedar Avarice made him hug his treasure Envy pin'd him beyond measure Wrath became his passion leader Riotcramm'd him Lust belull'd him Sloath by seazing on him dull'd him Thus environ'd rest of rest Solace Soule society Till Faith Hope and Charity Re-possest him of a Guest Which those Guests he pamper'd so Had before estranged him to Seas thus calm'd stormes appeas'd To discover his content He makes his Will and Testament Which if Christians yee be pleas'd To partake her come with full eyes To solemaize his Obsequies ERRATA No place but is of Errors rife In labours Lectures Leafes Lines life P Ag. 22. line 11. for there read her p. 34. l. 20. f. lives r. houres p. 72. l. 9. for Dames r. Damns p. 112. l. ult r. one to dictate to thee what thou hast c. p. 153. l. 21. f. Nay r. May. p. 166. l. 22. f. Couch r. Touch. Ibid. in marg f. Humb. r. Lumb p 205 l. 13. f. wailes r. vailes p. 213. l 9. f. meditation r. mediation p. 269. l. 16. for Calidore r. Calidon p. 340. for them r him p. 355. 1 â—â— f. when r. where pag. ibl 18. f. Dags r. Dogs p. 356. l. 14. for everting in some copies r. everlasting p. 363 1. 1 f. painting r. â—painting p. 379 mis-folio'd * Cuncta quâ— suntadduâ—etâ— Done in judicium Ecâ—les 12. Reddiâ—uri sumus raâ—ionem de cogitatiâ—nibus nostris Sap 1. De omnibus vâ—râ—is Mâ—t. 12. De oâ—eribus â—osâ—ris 2 Cor. 5. * Signant se omnes signo crucis respondent omnes Amen câ—ntant omnes Alleluia baptizantur oâ—nes ecclesiarum pietates implent nen discernuntursilâ—i Dei â— fliâ—s Diabolinisi in chaâ—itate Vid. Aug. Eccles. 12. 3. Ecclus 10. 8. Psal. 120. 5. Isa. 30. 33. Exod. 15. 23. Prov. 23. 29. 30. Bern. Med. cap. 15. Ib. cap. 3. Bern. Med. câ—p â— We are before all others to bestow Holy dayes in pious works and religious wayes Aug. Sup. Psal. 22. Câ—ril Basal Honail 8. 9. Aug. Mâ—d. 39. â—ern Med. 11. Aug. in Confess Malac 3. 8. 9 Prov. 20. 25. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Bern Med. 17. Bern. Med. 5. Mat. 25. Humb. Sup. reg B. Aug. Aug. Med. 25. Bern. Med. 14. Bern. Med. 11. Athan. Bern Med. 8. Iam. 5. Gen. 7. Bern. Med. 11. Ib. c. 8. Iohn 13. 23. Aug. in Serm. de Ascens Act. â—3 Aug. Aug. Bern. Med. 2. Eccles. 12 12. Sap. 1â— Rom. 2. Ib. 5. 15. Mat. 12. 2 Cor. 5. Esay 30. 33. Ezek. 42 Augs Soliloq c. 29. Bern. Med Dam. de Hora â—ort Bern. Med 3. Psal. 39. 12. Ezek. 18. 1 Iam. 5. Hab. 2. 4. Rom. 3. 28 Mat. 14. 31. Luke 17. 6. v. 5. Luke 22. 32. Act. 5. 9. 1 Thes. 5. 8 Tit 2. 13. Psal. 16. 9. 31. 24. Prov 13 12. 14. 32. Rom. 5. 5. Rom. 12. 12. 15. 13. 8. 24. Rom. 8. 24. 1 Cor. 53. 13. 1 Cor. 8. 1. v. I. a 1 Cor. 16 14. b 14. 1. c Col. 3. 14 d Pet. 4. 8. e 2 Pet. 1. 7 f 1 Cor. 13. 4. g v. 5. h v. 6. i v. 8. Aug. Ib Vide Aug. Psal. 119. 71. v. 28. With shreeks I entired and in â—oyle I lived With griefs gripes groanes am I of life deprived Hier. ad Pamâ—â—â—â— et Ocean de error Orig. 2 Reg. 20. 1 Hieron Hieron Sitiens Sepulchrum repetit ossa Sepultorum respicit suspirans Sepultum deserit quando autem in domum fragilitat is humanae Speculum meditando tenderet in tabernam descenderet ubi totam noctem calicibus indulgendo expenderet Chysol