acknowledge with soule heart and conscience if thou saueâ— me it is a miracle and if thou reâ— fusest it were but iust iustice aâ—suring my selfe in forbearing thy chastising affection I shall eueâ— despaire of thy mercy and be confident of permanent punishmentâ— for that the pensill of holy Wriâ— which will not be violated Heb. 12.5 Apoc. 3.19 hath plainely expressed those whom thou receiuest thou chastenest and that their long laughing must be turned into bitter mourning Ioel. 2.12 Luk. 6.25 before they haue any true hope of thy grace fauour or pardon O then deare Mediatour I beseech thee minister dayly on me thy discipline correction Pro. 3. Iob 5. and when thou thinkest it meet let my inward griefe be my ioy the agony of death my comfort but if those will not penetrate my flintie nature to make mee glorifie thy vnspeakeable blessings and apprehend my base ingratitude Grant mee sweet Sauiour a feeling inspiration of torments due vnto the damned that if then I may not without robbing thy Iustice obtaine by thy Mercie a share in thy sufferings Yet I humbly pray thee let me be a second Diues vpon earth for admonishing my poore Christian brethren to preuent the like fall of so fatall a danger and the rather for that thou perceiuest offendours bee not so much terrified by thy iudgements pronounced in holy Writ as they are mollified at the sight of mortall creatures miseries Wherein it makes me feare Sathan by thy permission hath a more predominate power then thou that createst them All which I leaue to thy diuine Sacred will and vnsearchable mercie begging pardon for my bold presumption or if thou please to make intercession Mat. 8.8 and say Amen to my petition The affliction of a Prodigall O Deare and Immortall God! I thy abiects creature haue so highly offended thy Deitie Essence and Glory in prophaning thy Name abusing thy Blessings and slighting thy Sufferings that I dare claime no priuiledge by thy death no comfort in thy promises nor no fauour from thy mercies but the rigour of punishment the wrath of iustice and reward of the damned O miserie of all miseries what haue I lost thy Glory that made mee thy Sonne that dyed for mee and thy Spirit that sanctified me Is there a creature from Adam so wretched was there a child conceiued from Euab more miserable then I that haue lost the ioyes of heauen and purchast the fire of hell O my birth life and death I am wrapt in sorrow hauing small hope but in dispairing no comfort but in grieuing nor any ioy but in lamenting O thou false heart and cursed senses why were yee made to bring my soule in torture and your selues in torment to denie them will not auaile you to expect pardon is vnpossible to confesse them will hardly mitigate them O then deare Sauiour seeing I haue brought my selfe by sinfull presumption to permaâ—ent perdition yet let mee beg at thy hands the agony of indiuiduall sorrow which thou ordainest for the damned that if then the spectacle of my deserued maladie cannot dissolue thy iustice into mercy yet may mitigate my endlesse misery and not die like a stupid dog void of sence knowing thou madest me the image of thy Creature The Contemplation of a Prodigall MY God Creatour and Sauiour of the world was not I made thy image to serue and glorifie none other but thy selfe How falles it out deare Father that I haue beene more contemptible against all thy Lawes Sap. 5. Statutes and Blessings Ioh. 3.5 then a sauage beast I cannot beleeue it proceeded from originall sinne in that thy sacred selfe suffered for sinne nor from my conception Ezek. 33. for that thou desirest my preseruation but altogether by Sathans assaulting the worlds prouoking natures betraying and my owne stiffenecked transgression What reason then can my selfe or mortall man conceiue that thou wilt saue me when I neuer truely serued nor honoured thee Art not thou a iust Iudge Ier. 25. as thou hast beene a mercifull Sauiour To plead weaknesse auailes not wilfulnesse I dare not nor wanting thy assistance I cannot Wherefore then doest thou giue mee longer sustentation when thou knowest I haue deserued damnation Fxod 9.16 Act. 4.27 Is it for that thou wilt exceed in thy mercies to increase my miseries Or else are not my sinnes fully compleat for thy determined sufferings Why thou knowest Sathan offended thee but once I haue euer they both obey and feare thee I haue neuer What madnesse then would it be in mee to presume that thou wilt breake the whole course of thy iustice for my sake knowing in mine owne conscience I haue lost the benefit of thy redemption by my wilfull presumption otherwise I might bee confident through vnfained repentance to haue assurance of saluation by thy death and passion which now grieues the intralles of my soule in that I was such a cursed reprobate to crucifie thee who sufferedst on the Crosse to saue me Mar. 10. â—7 so that according to humane iudgement my talent is eternall torment Howsoeuer I bequeath the disposure of my deiected soule to thee Rom. 9.15 which shedst thy innocent bloud on the behalfe of me But why should I being so base a creature reason with thee that art my maker knowing the clay ought not contest with the potter For it is in thy power and not in mine to make mee a vessell of honour or dishonour Therefore in obedience to thy vnsearchable Deity I will surcease all disputations and endeuour to preuent worldly perturbations that I may haue so much hope to be thy creature as my beleefe assures mee thou art my Creatour The Agonie of a Prodigall MY sacred Creator and celestiall Father didst not thou make me of running water and ruddie earth Doest thou not see how Sathan assaults me how the world insnates me and how my owne nature betraies me O my God how then canst thou but in pittie take compassion vpon me knowing I haue no power to preuent any of these precedent conspiracies but by thy diuine prouidence Wilt thou then leaue mee to my selfe that I might appeare worse miserable than the beast which perisheth O be more charitable for that thou madest mee thy image cast but thine eie vpon mee and turne not thy face from me then trie whether thou wilt denie thy mercy vnto mee were not sweet Sauiour my first parents sinners Did not thy selfe suffer for sinners and protestedst thou desirest not the death of sinners Shall then the iniquities of my onely offences blot out the remembrance of thy immortal mercies When thou art my aduocate I the offender thou my redeemer I the debtor Let mee not then perish for want of thy protection when it is not riches nor honor I would haue O my Father no! or releasement of my miseries I seeke O my Father no! or heauen I beg O my Father I dare not presume no! nor any thing I craue but the increase
of penitent teares fit for transgressors and sorrowes due to sinners O my Sauiour no! How then canst thou denie me when I sue for no more but what thy selfe hath assured me O my Christ are these the eyes that haue displeased thee let them receiue no light through thee is this the heart which hath dishonoured thee let it bleed to death for thee Is this the flesh which hath offended thee let fire be her fuell by thee Are these the bones which haue brought me woe let them bee burnt and borne no more Or are these the sences which haue sinned against thee let them be a liuing sacrifice to thee O my God I am rackt with griefe that I cannot grieue and perplext in repentance that I know not how to repent For to proceed after the worlds weakenesse I suspect thou seest their wilfull ignorance And if I follow thy Gospels professours I feare thou findst them full of scandall distraction and worldly perturbation What then sweet Sauiour will become of me forlorne creature that haue no reliefe but sinnes to succour me Sathan to assist me and a guilty conscience to comfort mee without thy sacred sufferings make intercession for me and accept thy Saints oblations for sinners to thee I shall be forced to curse my conception and wish my mothers wombe had beene my tombe to haue formed me a lumpe of flesh without life or any creature but thy image for then had I liued according to creation and not liable to eternall damnation Yet most mercifull and immortall father should my agonied soule suspect to suffer shipwracke when thou guidest the sterne or despaire and die when thou art liuing or curse her birth when thou art in being O my God rather let her taste the tortures of hell then be depriued of life and lose her hopes in the ioyes of heauen let then Sathan assay his best and the wicked world her worst my deiected soule hath set vp her rest in thee that made her to saue her Lord I beseech thee to say Amen The Supplication of a Prodigall MY God my refuge my mercy how dare I remember thy greatnesse when the billowes of my crying sinnes haue raisd the wrath of thy Omnipotent person who out of meere diuine loue to pious charitie createdst me after thine owne image redeemed mee being lost and in a word gaue mee all I euer had yet haue I so much dishonoured the Deitie of thy glory that I made the pleasures of this life my Gods on earth and now they are turn'de my tormenting accusers of Death O Sacred Father bequeath the plagues of Egypt for my talent rather then this deceitfull world to my portion which hath not onely bred me disobedient towards thee that made mee a traitour to thy Sonne that dyed for me but sacrific'de my owne soule to be the fuell of hell fire O deadly life of immortall death what shall I tearme thee the shape of a Christian which without thy Sacred intercession for thy neuer dying mercies I shall remaine quickened with the fiend of hell to future ages for euer O do not thou sweet Sauiour forget the pittie of thy goodnes though I haue lost the dutie of my obedience but grant the same fauour to me thou gauest the thiefe vpon the Crosse looke vpon the teares of my miseries with the passions of thy mercies and if neither griefes groanes sighes nor sorrowes can appease thy iust wrath why didst thou make mee wherefore was thy death whom wilt thou saue or art thou another God now then when thou wert mercifull to the oppressed a Father of the godlie and an aduocate for the damned if they repented O then enrich my soule with a diuine sorrow for my ioy the agony of death for my comfort that I may neither presume of thy fauour nor despaire of thy mercie but haue thy great Name glorified thy Sacred death satisfied and thy poore forlorne sinner saued Lord I beseech thee say Amen ¶ The Prodigalles Prayer O Deare and omnipotent God I heere stand guilty of all the barbarous and inhumane sinnes which Sathan can obiect against the cursedst creature liuing For I haue presumptuouslie committed more riots and offences then either Heathen Pagan Turke or Infidell besides treacherouslie made thy name a cloake for my owne villanie Thus deare Sauiour haue I liued a smooth factour for Sathan to the vtter subuersion and depriuation of eternall felicitie and purchased the reward of condemnation with endlesse miserie Breake O my big swollen heart lest a thunderbolt from heauen preuent thee Gush foorth into a flood of teares thou Crocodile by nature in being such a cursed reprobate to forget thy maker a Diuell incarnate for crucifying thy Redeemer Ah sauage beast could neither creation redemption nor dailie blessings mollifie my flintie heart to honour thee as a father feare thee as a God or loue thee as a Sauiour but must so Iudas-like sacrifice thy image to the enemie thy curtesies to crueltie and thy redemption to my dreadfull destruction O indignation of the Almightie fall not vpon mee though I haue sowed the vngratefull seed of Plutarchs aire for Scorpions to bite my flesh and snakes to sucke my bloud Yet most mercifull Father should my miserable soule despaire when thy omnipotenâ— person died for deiected sinners Or can I presume to hope seeing thou hast punished thy dearest seruants for lesse offences Neuer O Lord in my wretched selfe but by the vnspeakable death and passion which is able to releeue the sicke heale the lame restore the blinde and helpe the distressed to thee I submissiue come whose sacred wisedome knowes that man is rottennesse his desires vanitie and life miserie Wilt thou therfore shew thy strength against so poore a worme as man that hath neither creation preseruation nor habitation but by thy diuine prouidence O then dearest Father remit the execution of thy iustice enlarge the liberalitie of thy mercie and extend thy holie spirit on me thy lost sâ—ruant that I may neither curse my birth nor being thou repent of thy creation or redeeming to the end I might liue in thy feare die in thy fauour rest in thy peace rise in thy power and remaine in thy glorie Lord I beseech thee say Amen To the Right Honourable WILLIAM Earle of Derby MY honored Lord I doe not know how far this my solitary life may trench into the displeasure of your Lordships graue censure Therefore I thought best to recommend those generall reasons which were the occasions of my reuolt from the world assuring your Lordship it was not the foolish fantasie of my wandring thoughts Gal. 6. Pro. 18.13 but a serious consideration of my former transgressions with an inward meditation of the small time that God will stay for mans conuersion or euersion made me bequeath the remainder of my daies to this priuate Cell by your Lordships assisting permission Yet peraduenture some will alleadge to your Honour that this course of retirednesse is neither commanded nor
commended what others out of ignorance may obiect fat bee it from your Lordship so to iudge Phil. 3.6 Socra scho cap. 18. For it hath beene practised by the best sort of Christians euer since Christs time with such precise and strict seueritie as they did not onlie resist all externall acts of sinne but chastised their bodies with corporall affliction 2 Cor. 6.5 which is manifest in the liues of the Apostles by their much fasting watching and praying Likewise Saint Augustines conuersion and Saint Ieromes approbation of Paul and Antony the Heremites besides the discipline he vsed vpon his owne bodie with manie other ancient Fathers which for feare of being tedious I omit So that if these holie men were fain to vndertake such strait captiuitie for gaining of heauen what punishment should I endure for preuenting of hell 1 Pet. 4.17 whose whole course of life hath beene a race of errours especiallie when the spirit of God dailie knockes at my heart to prosecute the same austeritie which giues mee a more cleare reuelation of Gods fauours where now I finde the theorie so much to be true by practise that I call God to witnes I am no more able to expresse the felicities I enioie then remember the catologue of my past offences let therefore other men thinke as they please of this alteration 1 Cor. 4.3.4 it sufficiently contents me that the Saints in heauen reioyce at my conuersion For God hath spoken peace to my soule my soule preacheth peace to my conscience my conscience sings a comfortable sweet All-haile to my sad heart and should the world the flesh or the Deuill sound all their most powerfull instruments to plucke from this my resolution they may sacrifice my flesh vpon the worlds Altar but my faith shal be so sure found hanging vpon the hornes of this Sanctum Sanctorum as my heart is confident that your Lordships former fauour conferd on me was preordaind to be a meanes of sealing your redemption by the death and passion of our Sauiour were your past transgression red as scarlet for that I am bounde to acknowledge vnder God your Honours affable curtesie established my regeneration 1 Pet 4.8 and what the reward is in gaining a soule Ioh. 5.20 beleeue not mee but the promise of Christ exprest in holy writ Humbly intreating your Lordship so farre to continue your respect as when any shall question my fidelitie aduise them to suspend their censure till the fortunate fatall tribunall day of iudgement which will decide the question without malice The rather for that each of vs were baptized with the signe of the Crosse and both endeuouring to hit the same marke though with seuerall shafts But if it should fall out to be knowne that they themselues continue in any one wilfull sinne your Lordship may boldlie giue no more credence to their language in points of Religion then to a periured man in case of a triall For as the Law will not admit of the one certainlie God will not allow of the other wheâ— the pensill of holy Writ confirms that the Diuell holds them as we by one sinne as by a thousand 1 Ioh. 3. Aâ— which I leaue to your Honour graue iudiciall iudgement anâ— rest Your euerliuing Beadsman Thomas Bushel To the onely sonne and bloud of my owne body BEloued the Lord thy God hath commanded me to instruct thee thee to obey me vpon penaltie of eternall punishment that wilfullie breakes the couenant if my aduertisement agree with the pensill of the holie Ghost otherwise thou art free I only bound which to auoid the danger of my part I haue as God hath enabled my illiterate and humane apprehension bequeathed vnto thee by my wofull experience a briefe diuine and morall way how to prostrate thy louing obedience towards God and man for the surer preuenting Natures frailty the safetie of thy owne soule Gods glorie and the discharge of a fathers dutie that thou mightst not curse thy birth I thy being nor diuine prouidence repent of thy making hoping the president of my late erroneous life will cause thine to be religious otherwise my iniquities will bee added to thy transgressions though no ease to each of our sufferings Let therefore thy internall faculties of body and soule be zealous towards thy Creator in keeping his Commandements with a trembling feare of violating the least and a willing desire to performe them all in so doing thy mortalitie is sure to bee ratified with immortall glorie Let his iust iustice euer go before thee and his infinite mercie will not faile to follow thee Let thy meditations be alwaies vpon our Sauiours sufferings then thou canst not be so ingrate as to forget his blessings nor neglect thy duties Giue thankes to thy maker for thy nights sleeping and morne waking with humble desire of his continuall prouidence for the day following and at night call thy selfe to a strict account of what good deedes thou hast omitted and what offences thou hast committed who were the occasions of the one and neglect of the other from such refraine vnlesse thou canst command thy selfe not they thee but if they proceed from thine owne stiffenecked nature condole thy infirmity chastize thy iniquitie with continuall abstinency vntill thou findst reason and religion to master thy passion and affection by this means thou wilt euer after sleepe in peace continue obedient and remaine in safetie but on the contrarie as thy conception was wretched so thy life will bee lamentable thy death miserable and thy torments ineuitable Let therefore thy beleeuing faith bee grounded vpon the rocke Christ Iesus for that is the true Religion the others are tost vpon the waues of time proceeding rather from mens frailtie then any setled veritie Yet lest thy conscience should be eclipsed and thy continuance reuerted into the dreadfull danger of a lukewarme Christian by beholding so many graue Senatours of seuerall Religious opinions I haue held it expedient vpon my death bed and according to my engagement as the soule of mee must answer the same at the tribunall day of iudgement to present vnto thy internall spirits these recited precepts Let thy heart and conscience bee incorporate to the bodie of Christs vniuersal Catholike Church performing so farre as in thee lieth all these prescriptions which he hath enioined thee to obserue obey and keepe in holy writ and when thy conscience together with thy ghostly Father approoues of thy inabilitie to bee capable of the Sacramentall mercie make a true confession of thy life past with an inward repentant contrition that euer thou didst offend and a constant resolution by Gods permission neuer more willing to offend but suffer death rather then violate thy condition as afterwards to commit a hainous sinne or wilfully continue in any other This being zealoushe kept God warrants thee saluation who then will accuse thee thy conscience cannot and Christ hath protested he will not if thou doest thy vtmost endeauor
humilitie thy honour let loue be thy laurell and loyaltie thy louer let aduersity be thy fortitude and fortune thy flatterer let vertue by thy veritie and patience thy paterne let wisdome be thy wealth and reason thy ruler let sinne be thy enemy and thy selfe her sister let truth be thy tongue and temperance thy taster let iustice be thy iudge and conscience thy Iuror let faith be thy father and obedience thy brother let children be thy blessing and education their portion let mercy bee thy matron and meeknesse thy minion let curtesie be thy kinsman and chastitie thy cosen-german let virginitie be thy affection and vtilitie thy afliction let repentance be thy profession and prayers thy peregrination let confession be thy contemplation and contrition thy regeneration Let life be thy lamentation and death thy preparation Let thy speech be plausible and thy protestations irreuocable Let thy studies be celestiall and thy sorrowes supernaturall Let thy sighes be Sacramentall and thy groanes coëternall Let thy diet be debility and thy attire decencie Let want be thy infirmitie and Will thy integritie Let thy hope be heauenlie and feare thy frailty Let grace be thy guide and God thy glory Thus in a word thou pledge of my posteritie thinke speake and deale with God as if all the world did behold thee and liue and conuerse with man as if God saw thee So shalt thou appeare the liuely image of thy maker the crowne of thy mother the honour of thy name and the repairing of the Angels God leade thee by the hand and a fathers blessing goe with thee as thou perseuerst in the practise of these precedent precepts To his louing brother Edward Bushel Esquire BEst beloued to annihilate your least suspition of my fidelitie or selfe-wild imbecilitie in this my retirde pleasing life I ingenuously acknowledge that mutuall fraternitie ioyned with inward spiration to glorifie God is best pleasing most accepted and greatest rewarded So that I am confident a publique religious life is better than any monasticke priuate liuing by how much virginitie is esteemed aboue mariage yet the leaw warranted to be honourable according to the Apostles words If thou doest marry thou doest well but if thou canst abstaine 't is better So likewise if thoâ— canst liue priuate without wilfull sinne it is well but if thou canst publique it were better And where he saith better to marry then to burne 1 Cor. 7.9 euen so my conscience assures me that it is better to liue priuately without sinne than burne publiquely in sinne for you know in the one there is hope of saluation but in the other certaintie of damnation Which reduc'de mee to apply for experiment this soliâ—ary course to prohibite mee from former follies and preuent futurâ— perils For you know from minâ— infancie I so much naturally delighted in a male-contented life aâ— our parents disciplinde gentle correction to withdraw me fearing 〈◊〉 was bewitched Likewise in the height of my prodigallity both your selfe and others were witnesses how I then made triall at a poore fishers habitation which God knowes would haue long continued had not my populaâ— name beene knowne yet in those dayes such was my childishnesse that more fear'd the preiudice of my base reputation then the displeasure of my Sauiour like iesting Pilate which beleeued the innocencie of Christ howsoeuer to satisfie the Iewes crucified him Luk. 23.14 Besides for almost three yeeres you know I was tost vpon the waues of time in expectation of a familiar companion who at last to my great griefe vnfriendly left mee for no other reason I could imagine but that he would verifie our Sauiours speech Mat. 20.16 Many that are first shall be last and the last first So that it is no new fantasie but hatching from my cradle as God knowes some particular friends that my determination was long agoe bent to leaue the world deny my selfe regaine the time and follow him were it within the caues of the earth if his Diuine pleasure allotted mee But what through the rawnesse of yeeres natures frailtie and instigation of others I remain'd so long with taking leaue of my houshold and striuing to satisfie the humours of mortall friends that almost my vitall hope was turned into despaire of immortall glory But thankes be to the Diuine prouidence my own conscience is enlightened by the Gospel of Christ to warrant mee his mercies will heare my supplications from a poore Cell as hee did Ionas in the Whales belly Ion. 2.1 So that if now I should reuolt hauing had a yere of vnparallel'd experience for either temporall fortune or fear of corporal affliction I must account the offence vnpardonable when the pensill of holy Ghost hath dictated the same by these irremarkeable fatall words If wee sinne wilfully Heb. 10.26 after the receiuing the knowledge of the truth there remaines no more sacrifice for sinne but a fearefull looking for iudgement Therfore I hope by Gods permission your beliefe of my fidelitie will expell all doubts scruples or feares knowing that I haue bequeathed these lines to ensuing memorie as a recorded witnesse on the contrarie against mee at the Day of Iudgement 2 Pet. 2.21 In the meane time let him that is tied to loue you as his owne soule perswade your diligent search into the world without partialitie and then I dare boldly say you will find nought worth louing no fortune worth valuing nor no pleasure worth following but he that first made you in conscience then he ought onely to be lou'd valu'd and seru'd For my owne part I by woefull experience haue found it you by tradition from a brother may shun it Let not then others ends set aâ— end to your owne happinesse no natures frailtie barre the fruition of your future felicity but be surâ— to curbe the one and scorne the other in so doing your conscience shall say I was your friend noâ— your flatterer as mine must alwaies acknowledge you a father more then a brother Yet giue me leaue louingly to chide your wilfulnesse since by Diuine prouidence I haue rebuked my ignorance Your causes of discontents it s knowne rise early will you therefore keepe them in perpetuall waking Those crosses that stand betwixt you and happines are mortall must you then make your sorrowes perpetuall and immortal The way to shorten them is to sleight them and the best meanes to mitigate them is not to minde them I by experience doe sensibly feele it you by practise may bee sure to finde it O then gentle brother let not griefe for a wildernesse Mar. 8.36 preuent your birth-right in Paradise for vnder correction deerest Sir if you cannot brooke a temporall misfortune in my conscience you will neuer attaine to a spirituall blessing when our Sauiour and all his Elect are witnesses against you Mar. 10.24 yet I must confesse your afflictions are greater then mine though my sinnes are a thousand for one of yours Howsoeuer not equall