brisk as old Aeson when he had cast his Skin and grew as fresh as a Chrysom Child tho' past fourscore and seventeen last Midsummer On a double account I now came into a new World being little acquainted with the old one before and what small acquaintance I had in so fair a way of leaving it When I once came abroad agen and was employ'd in the Town about my Masters business more frequently than formerly being now Head-prentice and deliver'd from that worst part of my doom nothing in the World being a greater Curse to a man of my Spirit than to be a Servant of Servants I fell into acquaintance about Town saw the Humours on 't and found enough to make me hate some things and be cautious of others This added to what I formerly knew and wou'd ha' told you before had not Sickness chopt in between I have here left for the benefit of the World and of you in particular my dear Well-beloveds the hopeful London Prentices from Temple-bar to Aldgate as you 'll find in the following Chapters CHAP. V. Of Atheists and other Fools or Knaves of that nature NO sooner one Munday Morning had my Master sent me out with a Note into Duck-lane but who shou'd I meet with at the turning down Shoemakers-Row but a young Spark of my Acquaintance formerly my School-feâ—low some years before me advanced to London and placed by his careful Father Apprentice to one Mr. A at the Sign of the not far from the sound of Bow-Bell He appear'd extreamly brisk and gay profess'd himself heartily glad he had lit so luckily on his old Acquaintance and invited me to a Glass of Wine at the Queens-Arms and Fountain which being then in haste and my Master expecting me back agen having business himself abroad I durst not accept but promised soon to steal an Opportunity to enjoy his good Company We went chatting along together for two or three streets talking of old Stories and Acquaintance several of whom he named to me and where they lived withal adding they and much other excellent Company were to meet at such a Tavern as well as I can remember at such a distance 't was the Nag's-Head in Cheap-side that very Evening whither if I could possibly steal time from my business he 'd engage I should be very welcom pressing me very earnestly this being the first time he had the happiness to meet me in Town not to refuse his Invitation Being not unwilling I must confess to see the humours of the Town as well as my old Acquaintance and not willing to disoblige this Person with whom I had formerly contracted a great intimacy I promis'd him if I could possibly get leave of my Master I 'd not fail meeting him at the time and place appointed I perceiv'd indeed he smiled something scornfully when I mention'd asking leave and from that time began a little to suspect him tho' his way lying different from miue we then immediately parted In the Evening according to our assignation I told my Master I had met some of my Acquaintance whom I hâ—d not seen for several years and â—equested his leave to give them a visit for an â—our or two it being in the long Winter nights â—nd Shops shut early This he did not refuse but withal oblig'd â—e to have a care of ill Company the ruin of â—hree quarters of the World and to be sure not to â—â—ay out late which he 'd by no means endure Modestly thanking him for his good Adâ—ice and promising to regard that and keep within the compass as to time away I went to â—he place I told ye of But Heavens what a Hell did I see and hearas â—oon as I enter'd 'T was not now more than Seâ—en a Clock and yet one good half of the Compaâ—y whither my Acquaintance whom I ask'd for â—at the Bar conducted me were as Drunk as Brandy or Claret could make 'em and the other half employing that little sense they had â—in Volleys of Curses and Oaths Stepping back â—gen over the Threshold as one who treads on a Snake Is this said I to him who was introducing me the good Company you promis'd to bring me to Why they seem fit Company for none but themselves or Devils As I was going forwards and backwards at once he stopt me in both motions and half by force half by perswasion got me in among 'em laughing aloud at my ignorance and squeamishness and telling me I should shortly be one of them and as mery and wicked as the best Iust such a tender-hearted Fool was I cryes he who brought me thither when I first came to Town nay continued in the same fine precise humour till I was almost pointed at as I pass'd the streets till honest Iack here took pains with me â—nd with the help of some of this good Company soon made me as brave a Fellow as the beâ—â— of ' em What I warrant you says another this pooâ— fresh-water Soldier is afraid of enquiring into the Till and cheating his Master and durst not swear or whore though you 'd make him an Alder. man But we must bear with him and remember what we once were our selves I could hold no longer to hear 'em talk at thaâ— lewd rate my blood boyl'd my heart trembled and I hardly had the courage or patience to answer 'em doubting whether I was fallen among a crew of Devils or mortal Creatures You were once Men said I but now I question of what Species I ought to name ye for there are othâ—â— Beasts go upright as well as you which yet is more than I see most of the Company here can do They 'd let me go on no further but instead of being angry as I expected fell all into a loud and most profuse laughter reiterating the same iâ— several volleys and not permitting me to insert a word between Till at last when they were weary he who introduced me lookt wistly in my Face and askt me very seriously But Evander are you really of this mind Is not the taste of Mothers-milk yet off your tongue and d' ye think it such a hainous thing to be Drunk as you pretend you believe it What a deal of sour Religion and Vertue you yet pretend to carry about you as if there were any real Evil in being merry with a Friend giving Nature a Fillip as you see we do here and enjoying our selves as well as our Masters do theirs What hurt did that charming Bottle there ever do that you should so severely hold forth against it And why mayn't we forget our Troubles and make the tedious seven Years roll as glibly on as possible since as the Poet The Wheel of Life no less will stay In a smooth than rugged way And why shou'd n't we drink as well as all Nature the Sea the Air the Sun the Earth the Birds and very Beasts themselves to whom your grave side of the World so often compare us And
Rambling Round the World THat I have been a Rambler both before when and ever since I was born you have heard already by another Hand 't is my Province to add here that the Passion of Voyaging did so fortifie it self in me with Age that I had hardly attained twenty Years but my Mind was set on A Ramble round the World Mens generosa ultra polos And now being freed from a Masters beck I resolv'd to have one glympse of another Countrey though Death himself should set the Ladder The truly Valiant fears nothing but the duing an Injury He that never fears is desperate and he that fears always is a Coward He is the truly valiant Man that dares nothing but what he may and fears nothing but what he ought Certainly then that Spectacle which Vander dares not look in the Face is very affrighting But because I was in love with the old Proverb Do nothing rashly I was resolved to see some of the Rooms of my Native Countrey before I ventur'd over the Threshold thereof Methinks thinks 't is a burning shame to see that most English Men can give a better account of Fountainbleau than Hampton-Court of the Stadt-house in Aâ—sterdam or the Indian Wigwams than they can of the Royal Exchange Oxford Cambridge or moâ—e renowned Graffham 'T is true he that would see much in a little must Travel the Low Countries Holland is all Europe in an Amsterdam print for Learning War and Traffick But 't is England England alone that is a little World within it self a Paradice for Women and the very Queen of Isles 'T is the Darling of Ceres and Bacchus the Air sweet and cherishing the Glorious Sun that sets and goes down in other Countries seems only to pass by the English Coasts Nature as her Darling hath embrac'd England with a River and large Moat intending still as she made to lay up her Principals and Originals in this her Cabinet The Natives have Faces like Angels Wits like Muses Charms like Graces and are cast in a Mould between the Earthly Spaniard and the trifling French In a word It 's Excellencies are too bigg for Description and therefore well might the Greek Poet cry out 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 and that English man be justly censur'd who embarks for another Countrey before he has view'd his own These Considerations made me first resolve for a Ramble round my Native Countrey and thô I very well knew there was great Dangers attending such an Adventure yet I thought it below a Man for the Love of Life to lose the Reason of Living seeing All may have Herb. Ch. Porch If they dare try a glorious Life or Grave And therefore now I began to grow weary of the Life I led and believ'd it was high time to think of departing And no wonder I was so soon on another Frollick for a wandring Humour found me out as I say Capering in the Winding-Chambers of Nature even there I lay forming Idea's of long Voyages and New Worlds and perhaps too grunting out for 't is pure Charity to lend a Crutch to a lame Conceit Bout-Ship Stedy Stedy Hard-up Hard-a-weather How wind ye my Hearts of Gold East or West and by Norâ— Some say I was no sooner born but my Eyes had Language and my Looks were offering at Discoveries Of all my Members the last that Rambled was my Tongue that Mother of Speech that shapes our Breath into Words as if I were loth to use so deceitful an Organ and certainly I was best Company with it when I could but just Mutter and Lisp I am apt to think could I have seen and spoke in my Mothers Belly I had always been pointing to some far Countrey and crying Chear up my Mates the Wind does fairly blow Clap on more sail and never spare Farewell all Lands for now we are I' th Narrow Narrow Seaâ—â— and merrily we go Bless me 't is hot another Bole of Wine And I shall cut the Burning-line Ho Boys she scuds away I round the World am sailing now And verily Sirs there is no resisting of Fate He that is born under a Rambling Planet all that he doth to â—ix him at home doth but hasten his Travels abroad My self experiencâ—â— the truth of this for tho at this juncture I had many Friends and Servants too and all things else about me that could render Life gay and sweet yet on a sudden Being born a Rambler Nature returns and now tho Business had fetter'd my Leggs and my whole Life seem'd buâ— as one Marriage-day such crouching was there now to the Rising Sun yet all this could not fix my little Carkass or limit my roving Mind to a narrower Circuit than the whole Creation And therefore when I had as carefully even'd with all Men for as to my Morals I am or should be an Honest Man as if I had been upon my last leave with the World and had given a solemn Adieu to my Summer-Friends I was soon on the March not caring whither 〈◊〉 Rambled to meet the Sun at his Rising or at 〈◊〉 going down provided only that I but Ramble â—elieving now that tho my whole Life should be a daily Invention and each Meal a New Stratagem yet that the Pleasures of Travelling would sweeten all And according to my Expectation every day rose upon me with a fresh Delight and still where e're I came I was tâ—eated with all the Delicacies of Nature and Art the Air was kind and soft the Fields were Trim and Neat the Sun benign and cherishing Nature each day dress'd all the World anew and in a word the whole Creation was free and obliliging and from every thing I met I receiv'd a Civility So that my whole Travels were perform'd with great Satisfaction and I was so well pleas'd with every thing that I saw or heard as I went along that I never thought my self at home till now I had no home to go to 'T was now as if the whole World had been my proper Birth-right and Dwelling that I had a Kitchin smoaking in every Countrey a Table cover'd in every Shire and a Lodging â—â—ias Barn for a Scrape or a How dâ—ye in every Village I came at But if at any time Fortune withdrew her Smiles for she is constant in nothing but Inconstancy then all I met with I embrac'd for Brethren proving our Kin in a long series from Adam and so improv'd this far-fetch'd Relation into a passionate Hugg and that for Money Hunger will caper over stone Walls I might add over Hills set upon Hills and therefore did I chuse in Affliction rather to make my Brains my Exchequer than like a Modest Gentleman to groan under the Slavery of a Blushing Temper I was never when in Trouble for Drink and be Rich for I well knew I could not live 〈◊〉 Tempore feâ—st my Guts in a Dream or like a Mouse in a Cheese enlarge my House-room by
The Names Kainophilus Evander Iohn The Occupation a Booksellr Lastly the Vbi or wheresomness as well as the Quis or Quid the Whoiety or the Whatchicallity namely New-England Look upon the Evidence now 't is summ'd up together and if he ben't the Man he 's no Man at all but as perfect a Sprite as Posture-Clark in the t'other Book Thus is a modest Man opprest with noise and endeavours used to press him to Death with Weights when Strength can't do 't All I say is Circumstances are but Circumstances still though you pile 'em as high as the Monument I deny it do you prove it which you han't done yet by all you have said Till when you must give me leave to subscribe my self what I was before and am still like to be Your humble Servant Johannes in Nubibus alias Clowdy John CHAP. III. Containing something full as useful as the two formet SOhoe the House Knock at his Breast or Back-door and ask if Evander be at home for the eternal Rambler seems to have forgot his main business that famous Life of his which in the last Book he had so happily brought through the first Stage that of Childhood which he ended with the beginning of his Prenticeship I 'll assure ye 't is a great mistake he 's so far from having forgot what he 's about that he thinks on 't so much he can mind nothing else nay scarce that neither for he 's in so brown a Study or such deep far-fetcht Reflexion concerning the great Task he 's now to go thorough his Seven Years Service mingled with a little spark perhaps of displeasure at the World for forcing him here to spend two Chapters in his own Vindication that like a poor lean tired Jade in a dark Road stuck fast in Mire and Clay he hardly knows how to wag an Inch forward or backward Yet after a little pause he takes heart-a-grace and gives you his own Description in those most fresh springing Years of his tender Juvenility Do but step in there Sir in the Frontispiece Globe 5. standing or rather growing in the inside of his Counter like a Creeper against the side of an House with all the mortal Tokens of a Prentice appearing in his very Phisnomy Behold but the vastness of his Ears if like their Picture not only large enough as Oldham's Country Parson's to make Night-caps for himself and roll up over his Head every night to keep him from the injury of the Weather but like an excellent Instrument serving at once for several uses spatious enough for Towels wherein the Cook-Maid beshrew all her Kitchin-stuff for 't would too often for his repose wipe her greasie Golls and cleanse her colly'd Fingers nay had they been Leather and of the same length they are here describ'd ten to one but the Jade would have made use of 'em instead of Straps to whet her Knives upon But alas all this is meerly as pleases the Painter or Graver 't is no great difference for Evander's Ears as well as all his other parts were very proportionable and as the Verses before the Book Thus in Man the parts agree c. However leaving his Ears at present which are at his Countreys Service as well as all the rest of his Body I he and we Kind Courteous and Gentle Reader are now to settle in our Geers mind our Business learn our Trade and do what an honest Prentice knows to be his Duty What I have with a great deal of tugging formerly prov'd is just now to be rendred past all doubt namely the excellent profit and use as well as Rarity Novelty and Diversion of this Book For here am I Kainophilus resolved to leave all Apprentices both present and future such a Copy as I doubt few of 'em will write after none I am certain ever excel Evander himself is that Copy and if they 'll but take care to imitate him and follow such a high Example as he has set 'em they 'll all in time stand as fair for Aldermen as he himself does Nor is what he writes confined to his own single Experience and more narrow Sphere he having with the greatest pains and accuracy as his Custom is cropt and cull'd the very choicest Flowers to be found in other Writings giving them the same liberty in his own if they think fit to make use on 't The first and choicest care of young Evander as to this World was how to please his Master whom he was now marry'd to for better for worse for seven long years together a great part of his life and upon which all the rest depended And so acceptable was this care so tender a regard had he to this his industrious though unworthy Servant that he shall ever retain grateful resentments of the same till he 's all Dust and Worms-meat And how deeply his Character is imprinted in my heart shall be seen by this Impression wrought off from it shewing what he was is and none else ever shall be My Master was a grave good Man a substantial honest Citizen of London Devout and Religious without making a Trade on 't or as some of his Neighbours in a too literal sence making a Gain of Godliness Nor thought this enough without being Just and Honest towards his Neighbour Willing to do any Man a good turn if he might without injury to himself and as Charitable as Iust whatever his own Opinions were of smaller Matters thinking well of all whom he knew not to deserve the contrary though they differ'd from him and well of none for being of his Party unless they had other Merits to recommend ' em He was never over-fond of publick Honours and Employments neither unwilling to undergo 'em if plac'd on him by the suffrages of Fellow-Citizens or Laws of the Land thinking nothing too mean or heavy for him to stoop to or stand up under He was so far from glorying in betraying his Country and building his own Fortues on its ruin that he thought nothing but his Soul either of more value or more meriting his utmost care and concern Accordingly he ever gave his Hand and as freely his Heart for such Persons as his Representatives in Parliament who were properly such really like him and therefore fit to be so Gentlemen of honest Integrity Prudence and Courage vers'd in the Interests both of City and Nation His Religion was not confined to the Church any more than the Shop His behaviour in his Family being grave and exemplary his Devotion constant his Care over his Houshold tender and impartial To his Servants he seem'd indeed a Father rather than a Master but like a wise Father avoided the two dangerous extreams of Severity and Fondness that Scylla and Charybdis one of which by their endeavouring to avoid the other either sucks in or dashes in pieces the most of Mankind He indeed if ever any Master kept this golden mean steering exactly betwixt the Rock of one side and Gulph
on t'other A sweeter Severity or better temper'd Gravity I never saw he like a true wise Man ordering his carriage towards his Servants as occasion required If sweet temper'd and ingenious like Evander he us'd the softest and gentlest methods with 'em if rough and haggard or abusing his goodness he as well knew how to be severe and use that Authority he was invested with though not over-strain it and so render 'em desperate In a word he knew that he was their Master not Patroon that they were his Servants not his Slaves neither were they his Masters Accordingly though he would hardly strain his Authority so far as to command things unreasonable having much rather the equity of whatever he required should of themselves at the first notice of his pleasure oblige them to a ready compliance yet in any thing not irreligious he would hold the Reins steddy not induring to have his Will disputed but obey'd commanding nothing unhandsom for them to do He knew the Infirmities of Youth and made allowances for 'em if not vitious or scandalous and by his dexterity and facility in managing 'em accordingly would work what he pleas'd upon `em and not rarely sav'd 'em from ruine whenas had he us'd rougher methods they had only flown out into desperate courses and broke the hearts of their careful Parents There 's a Master the very Standard of Cheapside and High Water-mark of the City of London What 's said of England in another sence would in a sence something like it be soon true of him 'T has been said were there a Bridge over the narrow Seas all the Women in Europe would run over hither so had they but Liberty all the Servants in England would run to him and he 'd have more Turn-overs than e're a Trader in Christendom But I can't part with my dear Master so abruptly I have a great deal more of his due Laud and Praise yet behind and should any pretend they have somewhere else met with some of these Notions which now follow in his Praise let 'em know that as long as 't is all true of him 't is no matter where I had it and in good truth all Masterly Perfections seem to be so concentred in him that no Man alive can speak a good thing of a Master but mine must deserve it The Painter when he drew a Venus took an Eye from one Beauty and a Lip from another a Leg from this and a Hand from that so alas am I forced to do in this case or else I should never be able to let the World see my most excellent Master the very best of Men as Iris of Women or in a word a perfect He-Iris whose very Footsteps I could kiss with I think as much gust as her dear Lips those silken Cherries I should have call'd 'em Soft Cherries which ev'n Angels wou'd intice Fruit only for the Bird of Paradice That 's no Raven cryes one And who ever said 't was Mr. Owl What have you to do thus to interrupt me in my Story Rather hearken and learn what my Master was and you ought to be if ever you come to fill so honourable a Station He was ay that he was perhaps I could say he is still The Heart in the midst of his Houshold Primum vivens ultimum moriens though I took my leave of Grammar you see I kept a little Latin though not long enough for a Neck-Verse but the English on't is First up and last a bed if not in his Person yet in his Providence In his carriage he aims both at his own and his Servants good and makes it his principal endeavour to advance both He very wisely and narrowly over-sees their Work knowing that the Master's Eye makes the Horse fat and as one wittily said The Dust that falls from the Master's Shoes is the best Compâ—st to manure any Ground The Lyon out of state wont run if any looks upon him Quite contrary many Servants won't run unless they are look'd upon and spur'd too sometimes though not hag-ridden or quite jaded off their Legs by their Tantivy-Masters Such was not mine and yet sufficiently careful and exact to take his Servants Reckonings without which they 'd reckon but little of him and if he takes no account of them they 'll make no account of him there was Wit for ye forty year agon and is still at Sturbridge-Fair and at that end of the Countrey not caring what they spend who are never brought to an Audit He provided them Victuals wholsom sufficient and seasonable nor so allay'd his Servants Bread as to make that Servants Meat which was not Mans-Meat O I shall never forget what a brave house the good Man kept and how many a sturdy Surloyn of Beef I have made groan under the vengeance of my hunger while I lived in his Territories And though the Proverb says When Belly is full Bones be at rest yet after Meat came Mustard or at least what was the proper condiment and cause of Digestion a chearful sprightly Temper pleasant Entertainments and lawful Recreations Stool-ball Foot-ball by a sad token I had my Nose broke at one and my Head at t'other Barley-break Hotâ—cockles Questons and Commands or any thing else nothing could come amiss to Evander in those days though noâ— â—â—agon grows old He remembred the good Saxon Law of old King Ina. If a Villain works on a Sunday by his Lord's Command Let him be free Never observing that Working on Sundays made People better Artists whatever Playing then may do He never wou'd threaten his Servant but rather immediately correct him that is not absolutely threaten but conditionally only with promise of Pardon upon amendment which was never wanting in me where there was real occasion being at least very sorry when I had offended so kind a Master He knew that a sour harsh unplacable humour was as unsupportable as unpleasant and unprofitable to both sides of the Relation tormeting instead of reforming and only tending to make Servants keep their Faults and leave their Masters Wherefore in case of Threatning and on any necessity of just Punishment he seldom or never pass'd his word but made present payment lest the Creditor should run away from the Debtor In correcting a Servant he never us'd to be a Slave to his own Passions common Justice Reason Pity and Humanity as well as the Chamberlain hindring him from making new Indentures on the Flesh of his Apprentice though he might happen in some light instances to break the old And indeed how many good Servants are that way eternally ruin'd and for ever unfitted to serve their Countrey after they get out of their time or their Master before as certainly Evander himself had been had his Master gone to work with him as some wicked Wretches in this City have done with their Prentices ripping up their Guts beating out their Brains or whipping 'em to Death and so undoing 'em for ever For this reason
my good Master wou'd never strike me in the heighth of his Passion lest my Brains should fly about my Ears and the stroke rebound upon himself But when he did find any Servant unlike me and altogether incorrigible so that he found it impossible to wash the Blackamore white and whom he could never induce by Confession or Amendment to scowr out the Spots of his Soul he 'd e'ne fairly wash his hands of him and turn him a grazing among his Fellow-Cattle Tender he was to a miracle of his poor Servant in Sickness or any other such ill accident making his House his Hospital This by a good token Kainophilus remembers who had been under-ground ten years agon had he been otherwise So like was his temper to that great Man Judge Hales who would not let his sick Dogs or old Horses be hang'd or knock't on the head but gave 'em clean Straw and good Lodging and for what they had done when well and lusty kept 'em like Gentlemen all their lives as Prince Henry did the sick and old English Mastiff who had made a Lyon run away Not that my Master being neither a Prince nor a Lord Chief Iustice I mean in his Estate or Birth for he was both in his Soul and Family did use to keep his Prentices like Gally-Slaves chain'd to the Oar for Life only I would be understood he had both a Fatherly care of us in our short state of Matrimony both in Sickness and in Health and all our Lives after a distinguishing Aspect on those whom he had brought into the World manifesting all the Care though none of the Severity of a Master towards 'em as long as e're they liv'd And how much good sage and kind Advice has he given Kainophilus since he came abroad into the World which had he but made use of wou'd have made him if possible greater and happier than he is already Keep your Shop and your Shop will keep you Even Reckonings make long Friends A Penny sav'd is a Penny got And a whole sack full of Proverbs as long as Sancho's to the same purpose which I still remember and are as it were the Beams and Rafters of my Discretion and Reputation to this day Nor after he had turn'd us out into the wide World did he leave us there to bawl and cry and kick our hearts out without any more regard what became of us as those ill or miserable Women who expose their Children in the Street or High-way and then run away from ' em No he 'd always listen and hearken what became of us No man ever went farther towards making an Apprentice than he did as if his care was not over at seven years end but was to last all life long So great so good a Character wou'd he be sure to give of us where any thing of moment depended that for my part I blush abominably I no better deserve it and if I reflect on what he has said of me and what my modesty tells me I really am I profess I don't know my self but sometimes fear he is talking of some other My Man Evander quo ' he well if I had a Daughter of Gold I should not think her too good for him so faithful so honest so vertuous nay I must say for my self as Nan Behn does I am very innocent unless it be as to The Faults of gentle Love so careful and obliging and industrious and ingenious well I expect to see him Master of the Company at least if not a Gold Chain about his Neck before he dies Besides truly he 's well to pass his Father left him ...... and he has since made a better Penny on 't He has the intimate acquaintance of several excellent Pens and therefore can never want Copies and trust him for managing and improving ' em He has the Printers at his beck already and orders those Irregular Things as well as they their own heaps of Letters He 'll make a Book vanish into the World as quick as Spirits out on 't and bring it abroad as easily as Leeson draws a Tooth or as nimbly as a Flash of Lightning Besides under the Rose he 's a pretty Author himself has done several curious things that I cou'd name and which I 'll assure you have taken very well and by that trick he saves Copy-money and gets himself immortal Fame and Honour Nay I profess I can bear no longer Dear Master hold your hand a little or I shall die of no other Death than a Surfeit of Praises The best things corrupted are the worst and most dangerous even a Man 's own breath kills him if he holds it in but too long Thus my modesty will choak me if I don't get vent for 't and when I 'm out of hearing praise me as long and as much as you please but I 'm resolv'd I 'll be even wi' you I 'll tell all your faults at once and the only one I know is in this matter If ever the World can say you speak what 's not true 't is when ye launch out in the Praises of Evander However I shall n'ere forget this unexampled Kindness till I forget my self and more my Iris and so great and real a value and honour have I and ever will have for my Master that even my Fellow-Prentices are no less dear than Brethren and his very Dog and Cat I esteem as much as if they weré my own little Cousins CHAP. IV. As concerning the Small Pox. A Lesson for Prentices and other things very much to the purpose SO much for the Master Let his Servant be good or bad now for the Servant whatever be his Master If he has a good one like mine I 'm sure he can ne're be too careful to please him and the way to do it is to get fast hold of me and follow me step by step unless I should happen to run clear away or get into the Kennel and then he 'll scarce fail to attain perfection For as Philosophers have advised to have always the Picture of some Great Person either before the Eyes or instamp'd firmly on the Memory that we may never do any thing one wou'd not be willing they shou'd see or unworthy such noble Examples so I can't imagine any better way to instruct or reform the ill habits too generally alas contracted among the Apprentices of London than by setting so exact a Pattern before 'em that when any difficult case happens they may only for their Satisfaction run thither consult the Oracle and cry thus or thus did Evander And what he did I am just going to tell ye But many things fall out between the Cup and the Lip so both you must be abridg'd from the Pleasure of hearing and I of telling it till this ill Job is over For just as I had stript to my Doublet and was preparing to thrash Instructions into your Ears and make you edifie abundantly comes that ugly nasty envious Disease the
Cloud to look upon distant Prospects with a magnifying Fancy laying these weighty Matters together I resolved now to ride at Anchor one seven years within the sound of Bow-Bell But alas I had not been sixty minutes Alphabetizing and sorting of Books before my old Rambling Maggot began to crawl and bite afresh upon which I immediately grew as fickle and wavering as if I had drank Liquor distill'd from a Womans Brains and nothing would satisfie me now till I saw the Situation of my Father's House again 'T is true my Master did advise me for which I 'll pay and ever owe him as many Thanks as Arithmetick can count to beg my Father's Consent before I rambled again but my runnagate Mind being set on a galloping Frollick he might with as much ease have found out the Quadrature of a Circle or the Taylor 's Name that works to the Man in the Moon as have parted me from another Ramble for beginning now to imagin that a Trade was troublesom and that the toyl of keeping Accompts would be a laboâ—r too tedious for my Mercurial Brains I was impatient till I was on another Ramble And no sooner had the Night began to draw its Curtains but Evander draws his And after taking leave of my Master I cast a longing look towards my Father's House with whom I left my Heart but as a Pledge till I return'd and put my self on my way thither And now farewell London till we meet again Being mounted on Bayard-a-ten-toes and expecting no Whittington Bells to Chime me back forward I rambled apace and though I set out from London with the early Sun yet I had his company but a little while for just as I got within sight of Tyburn that three-legg'd Horse on whose fatal back many a Man has rambled to the other World he withdrew into an Appartment behind a Cloud At whose absence the Heavens frowning I began to suspect 't was an ill Omen of my Father's displeasure for my so speedy leaving my Master's House But however now to repent of my Rambling Project was irksom and to fear was a Passion that I ever thought below me the Valiant Heart knows no trembling Cowards wink when they sight but the truly Valiant dare face their danger your Noble hearts dare leap into Flame Caesar spake like Caesar when he bid the Mariners fear nothing in a Storm for they carry'd Him and his Fortunes Calamities astonish only Men of ordinary Spirits he must be ignorant of the condition of Human Life who fears or flies the miseries that attend it When a Man has once gotten a habit of Vertue all his Actions are equal he is constantly one and the same Man and he does well not only upon counsel but out of custom too Shall I tell you now in a word The summ of Human Duty is Patience where we are to suffer and Prudence in the things we do And shall not a Man venture the crossing of an intemperate Lust for the conquest of himself It is a great encouragement to well-doing that when we are once in the possession of Vertue it is our own for ever 'T is a fâ—ight that shrinks the Soul into a corner out of which it dares not peep to look for help but he that prepares for a mischief meets nothing new to amaze him To avoid occasions and to be above Accidents is one of the greatest masteries of Man In a danger I do not nor never did so much consider how I shall escape it as of how little importance it is whether I escape it or no. Should I be left dead upon the place what matter Not being able to govern Events I endeavour to govern myself as knowing a Man never taken in Passion is a Mark of the sublimest reach of Wit seeing thereby he puts himself above all vulgar Impressions It is the greatest of Dominions to rule ones self and Passions This is indeed the Triumph of Free-Will Few Passions break my sleep but of Deliberations the least will do it I love misfortunes that are purely so that do not torment and teaze me with the incertainty of their growing better Dubia plus torquent mala Doubtful Ills do plague us worst The fear of a Fall astonishes me more than the very Fall itself Ill-luck quoth the Frenchman is good for something French Proverb Were I as deep in the Book of Fame as Caesar I wou'd not care if I were stabb'd to morrow for then I hope I should be at the end of my toil and only have the pleasure to look down from some Star of the first magnitude for such are the Celestial Palaces of honest Pilgrims and see with delight the Trophies and Statues every where set up in memory of my Herick Actions from the Picture shining with Izinglass and Golden Leather to the Marble Effigies and Pyramid of Brass I was therefore now resolved being on the Road to Hope the best and to out-brave all fears of my Father's displeasure 'T is true there were in my way no shady Woods for Nightingales to â—ull me into soft slumbers no murmuring Rills to which I might make my sorrowful Complaints no kind Hermits to invite me to their Cells all my comfort was in HOPE and the Compassion of my Guardian-Angel When Alexander Rambled through Asia he gave large Donatives to his Captains insomuch as Parmenio asked him Sir what do you keep for your self He answered HOPE So on I rambled like a very Alexander and by that time I had trudg'd it as far as Action I began to examine my little Fob to see what Pennies I had to carry me home And Reader you must know in those Juvenile days Good Coyn was unto me a precious thing Because it bore the Picture of my King And indeed when all is done there is no Friend like the Penny But my Gold that Female Charm which in days of yore was wont to be as sweet a Cordial to my Purse as Drams to my Stomach having Wings was gone the knowledge of which was as welcom to my rambling Thoughts as the unexpected sound of a Passing-Bell usually is to the scraping Usurer who like a Dog in a Wheel toyls to roast Meat for others eating when it tolls him away from his Bags to his Grave But now calling to mind that Fortune was ne're more kind than when she had emptied my Pockets I briskt up my Spirits with that golden Verse out of Horace Cantabit vacuus coram latrone Viaâ—or And on I went still with a merry heart a Dish brave enough to feast a Prince but before I got to Vxbridge which was the next Town in my way home I found my Guts in an uproar and a Civil War commenct between my Mouth and my Somach but now having no Money left I knew not how to salve up the difference neither wou'd my Stomach hearken to any thing but a Bill of Fare in its grumbling manner of speaking But tho' my Hunger was of a