change their shapes then men their minds Pro. Then men their minds t is true oh heuen were man But Constant he were perfect that one error Fils him with faults makes him run through all th' sins Inconstancy falls-off ere it begins What is in Siluia's face but I may spie More fresh in Iulia's with a constant eye Val Come come a hand from either Let me be blest to make this happy close 'T were pitty two such friends should be long foes Pro. Beare witnes heauen I haue my wish for euer Iul. And I mine Out-l. A prize a prize a prize Val. Forbeare forbeare I say It is my Lord the Duke Your Grace is welcome to a man disgrac'd Banished Valentine Duke Sir Valentine Thu. Yonder is Siluia and Siluia's mine Val. Thurio giue backe or else embrace thy death Come not within the measure of my wrath Doe not name Siluia thine if once againe Verona shall not hold thee heere she stands Take but possession of her with a Touch I dare thee but to breath vpon my Loue. Thur. Sir Valentine I care not for her I I hold him but a foole that will endanger His Body for a Girle that loues him not I claime her not and therefore she is thine Duke The more degenerate and base art thou To make such meanes for her as thou hast done And leaue her on such slight conditions Now by the honor of my Ancestry I doe applaud thy spirit Valentine And thinke thee worthy of an Empresse loue Know then I heere forget all former greefes Cancell all grudge repeale thee home againe Plead a new state in thy vn-riual'd merit To which I thus subscribe Sir Valentine Thou art a Gentleman and well deriu'd Take thou thy Siluia for thou hast deseru'd her Val I thank your Grace y e gift hath made me happy I now beseech you for your daughters sake To grant one Boone that I shall aske of you Duke I grant it for thine owne what ere it be Val. These banish'd men that I haue kept withall Are men endu'd with worthy qualities Forgiue them what they haue committed here And let them be recall'd from their Exile They are reformed ciuill full of good And fit for great employment worthy Lord. Duke Thou hast preuaild I pardon them and thee Dispose of them as thou knowst their deserts Come let vs goe we will include all iarres With Triumphes Mirth and rare solemnity Val. And as we walke along I dare be bold With our discourse to make your Grace to smile What thinke you of this Page my Lord Duke I think the Boy hath grace in him he blushes Val. I warrant you my Lord more grace then Boy Duke What meane you by that saying Val. Please you I le tell you as we passe along That you will wonder what hath fortuned Come Protheus 't is your pennance but to heare The story of your Loues discouered That done our day of marriage shall be yours One Feast one house one mutuall happinesse Exeunt The names of all the Actors Duke Father to Siluia Valentine the two Gentlemen Protheus the two Gentlemen Anthonio father to Protheus Thurio a foolish riuall to Valentine Eglamoure Agent for Siluia in her escape Host where Iulia lodges Out-lawes with Valentine Speed a clownish seruant to Valentine Launce the like to Protheus Panthion seruant to Antonio Iulia beloued of Protheus Siluia beloued of Valentine Lucetta waighting-woman to Iulia. FINIS THE Merry Wiues of Windsor Actus primus Scena prima Enter Iustice Shallow Slender Sir Hugh Euans Master Page Falstoffe Bardolph Nym Pistoll Anne Page Mistresse Ford Mistresse Page Simple Shallow SIr Hugh perswade me not I will make a Star-Chamber matter of it if hee were twenty Sir Iohn Falstoffs he shall not abuse Robert Shallow Esquire Slen. In the County of Glocester Iustice of Peace and Coram Shal. I Cosen Slender and Cust-alorum Slen. I and Rato lorum too and a Gentleman borne Master Parson who writes himselfe Armigero in any Bill Warrant Quittance or Obligation Armigero Shal. I that I doe and haue done any time these three hundred yeeres Slen. All his successors gone before him hath don 't and all his Ancestors that come after him may they may giue the dozen white Luces in their Coate Shal. It is an olde Coate Euans The dozen white Lowses doe become an old Coat well it agrees well passant It is a familiar beast to man and signifies Loue. Shal. The Luse is the fresh-fish the salt-fish is an old Coate Slen. I may quarter Coz Shal. You may by marrying Euans It is marring indeed if he quarter it Shal. Not a whit Euan. Yes per-lady if he ha's a quarter of your coat there is but three Skirts for your selfe in my simple coniectures but that is all one if Sir Iohn Falstaffe haue committed disparagements vnto you I am of the Church and will be glad to do my beneuolence to make attonements and compremises betweene you Shal. The Councell shall heare it it is a Riot Euan. It is not meet the Councell heare a Riot there is no feare of Got in a Riot The Councell looke you shall desire to heare the feare of Got and not to heare a Riot take your viza-ments in that Shal. Ha o' my life if I were yong againe the sword should end it Euans It is petter that friends is the sword and end it and there is also another deuice in my praine which peraduenture prings goot discretions with it There is Anne Page which is daughter to Master Thomas Page which is pretty virginity Slen. Mistris Anne Page she has browne haire and speakes small like a woman Euans It is that ferry person for all the orld as iust as you will desire and seuen hundred pounds of Moneyes and Gold and Siluer is her Grand-sire vpon his deaths-bed Got deliuer to a ioyfull resurrections giue when she is able to ouertake seuenteene yeeres old It were a goot motion if we leaue our pribbles and prabbles and desire a marriage betweene Master Abraham and Mistris Anne Page Slen. Did her Grand-sire leaue her seauen hundred pound Euan. I and her father is make her a petter penny Slen. I know the young Gentlewoman she has good gifts Euan. Seuen hundred pounds and possibilities is goot gifts Shal. Wel let vs see honest M r Page is Falstaffe there Euan. Shall I tell you a lye I doe despise a lyer as I doe despise one that is false or as I despise one that is not true the Knight Sir Iohn is there and I beseech you be ruled by your well-willers I will peat the doore for M r. Page What hoa Got-plesse your house heere M r. Page Who 's there Euan. Here is go't's plessing and your friend and Iustice Shallow and heere yong Master Slender that peraduentures shall tell you another tale if matters grow to your likings Mâ— Page I am glad to see your Worships well I thanke you for my Venison Master Shallow Shal. Master Page I
am glad to see you much good doe it your good heart I wish'd your Venison better it was ill killd how doth good Mistresse Page and I thank you alwaies with my heart la with my heart M. Page Sir I thanke you Shal. Sir I thanke you by yea and no I doe M. Pa. I am glad to see you good Master Slender Slen. How do's your fallow Greyhound Sir I heard say he was out-run on Cotsall M. Pa. It could not be iudg'd Sir Slen. You 'll not confesse you 'll not confesse Shal. That he will not 't is your fault 't is your fault 't is a good dogge M. Pa. A Cur Sir Shal. Sir hee 's a good dog and a faire dog can there be more said he is good and faire Is Sir Iohn Falstaffe heere M. Pa. Sir hee is within and I would I could doe a good office betweene you Euan. It is spoke as a Christians ought to speake Shal. He hath wrong'd me Master Page M. Pa. Sir he doth in some sort confesse it Shal. If it be confessed it is not redressed is not that so M. Page he hath wrong'd me indeed he hath at a word he hath beleeue me Robert Shallow Esquire saith he is wronged Ma. Pa. Here comes Sir Iohn Fal. Now Master Shallow you 'll complaine of me to the King Shal. Knight you haue beaten my men kill'd my deere and broke open my Lodge Fal. But not kiss'd your Keepers daughter Shal. Tut a pin this shall be answer'd Fal. I will answere it strait I haue done all this That is now answer'd Shal. The Councell shall know this Fal. 'T were better for you if it were known in councell you 'll be laugh'd at Eu. Pauca verba Sir Iohn good worts Fal. Good worts good Cabidge Slender I broke your head what matter haue you against me Slen. Marry sir I haue matter in my head against you and against your cony-catching Rascalls Bardolf Nym and Pistoll Bar. You Banbery Cheese Slen. I it is no matter Pist How now Mephostophilus Slen. I it is no matter Nym. Slice I say pauca pauca Slice that 's my humor Slen. Where 's Simple my man can you tell Cosen Eua. Peace I pray you now let vs vnderstand there is three Vmpires in this matter as I vnderstand that is Master Page fidelicet Master Page there is my selfe fidelicet my selfe and the three party is lastly and finally mine Host of the Gater Ma. Pa. We three to hear it end it between them Euan. Ferry goo't I will make a priefe of it in my note-booke and we wil afterwards orke vpon the cause with as great discreetly as we can Fal. Pistoll Pist He heares with eares Euan. The Teuill and his Tam what phrase is this he heares with eare why it is affectations Fal. Pistoll did you picke M. Slenders purse Slen. I by these gloues did hee or I would I might neuer come in mine owne great chamber againe else of seauen groates in mill-sixpences and two Edward Shouelboords that cost me two shilling and two pence a peece of Yead Miller by these gloues Fal. Is this true Pistoll Euan. No it is false if it is a picke-purse Pist Ha thou mountaine Forreyner Sir Iohn and Master mine I combat challenge of this Latine Bilboe word of deniall in thy labras here word of denial froth and scum thou liest Slen. By these gloues then 't was he Nym. Be auis'd sir and passe good humours I will say marry trap with you if you runne the nut-hooks humor on me that is the very note of it Slen. By this hat then he in the red face had it for though I cannot remember what I did when you made me drunke yet I am not altogether an asse Fal. What say you Scarlet and Iohn Bar. Why sir for my part I say the Gentleman had drunke himselfe out of his fiue sentences Eu. It is his fiue sences fie what the ignorance is Bar. And being fap sir was as they say casheerd and so conclusions past the Car-eires Slen. I you spake in Latten then to but 't is no matter I le nere be drunk whilst I liue againe but in honest ciuill godly company for this tricke if I be drunke I le be drunke with those that haue the feare of God and not with drunken knaues Euan. So got-udge me that is a vertuons minde Fal. You heare all these matters deni'd Gentlemen you heare it M r. Page Nay daughter carry the wine in wee 'll drinke within Slen. Oh heauen This is Mistresse Anne Page M r. Page How now Mistris Ford Fal. Mistris Ford by my troth you are very wel met by your leaue good Mistris M r. Page Wife bid these gentlemen welcome come we haue a hot Venison pasty to dinner Come gentlemen I hope we shall drinke downe all vnkindnesse Slen. I had rather then forty shillings I had my booke of Songs and Sonnets heere How now Simple where haue you beene I must wait on my selfe must I you haue not the booke of Riddles about you haue you Sim. Booke of Riddles why did you not lend it to Alice Short-cake vpon Alhallowmas last a fortnight afore Michaelmas Shal. Come Coz come Coz we stay for you a word with you Coz marry this Coz there is as 't were a tender a kinde of tender made a farre-off by Sir Hugh here doe you vnderstand me Slen. I Sir you shall finde me reasonable if it be so I shall doe that that is reason Shal. Nay but vnderstand me Slen. So I doe Sir Euan. Giue eare to his motions M r. Slender I will description the matter to you if you be capacity of it Slen. Nay I will doe as my Cozen Shallow saies I pray you pardon me he 's a Iustice of Peace in his Countrie simple though I stand here Euan. But that is not the question the question is concerning your marriage Shal. I there 's the point Sir Eu. Marry is it the very point of it to Mi. An Page Slen. Why if it be so I will marry her vpon any reasonable demands Eu. But can you affection the ' o-man let vs command to know that of your mouth or of your lips for diuers Philosophers hold that the lips is parcell of the mouth therfore precisely cā you carry your good wil to y e maid Sh. Cosen Abraham Slender can you loue her Slen. I hope sir I will do as it shall become one that would doe reason Eu. Nay got's Lords and his Ladies you must speake possitable if you can carry-her your desires towards her Shal. That you must Will you vpon good dowry marry her Slen. I will doe a greater thing then that vpon your request Cosen in any reason Shal. Nay conceiue me conceiue mee sweet Coz what I doe is to pleasure you Coz can you loue the maid Slen. I will marry her Sir at your request but if there bee no great loue in the beginning yet Heauen may decrease it vpon better acquaintance when
thee no-bodie heares mine owne people mine owne people Qui. Are they so heauen-blesse them and make them his Seruants Fal. Well Mistresse Ford what of her Qui. Why Sir shee 's a good-creature Lord Lord your Worship 's a wanton well heauen forgiue you and all of vs I pray Fal. Mistresse Ford come Mistresse Ford. Qui. Marry this is the short and the long of it you haue brought her into such a Canaries as 't is wonderfull the best Courtier of them all when the Court lay at Windsor could neuer haue brought her to such a Canarie yet there has beene Knights and Lords and Gentlemen with their Coaches I warrant you Coach after Coach letter after letter gift after gift smelling so sweetly all Muske and so rushling I warrant you in silke and golde and in such alligant termes and in such wine and suger of the best and the fairest that would haue wonne any womans heart and I warrant you they could neuer get an eye-winke of her I had my selfe twentie Angels giuen me this morning but I defie all Angels in any such sort as they say but in the way of honesty and I warrant you they could neuer get her so much as sippe on a cup with the prowdest of them all and yet there has beene Earles nay which is more Pentioners but I warrant you all is one with her Fal. But what saies shee to mee be briefe my good shee Mercurie Qui. Marry she hath receiu'd your Letter for the which she thankes you a thousand times and she giues you to notifie that her husband will be absence from his house betweene ten and eleuen Fal. Ten and eleuen Qui. I forsooth and then you may come and see the picture she sayes that you wot of Master Ford her husband will be from home alas the sweet woman leades an ill life with him hee 's a very iealousie-man she leads a very frampold life with him good hart Fal. Ten and eleuen Woman commend me to her I will not faile her Qui. Why you say well But I haue another messenger to your worship Mistresse Page hath her heartie commendations to you to and let mee tell you in your eare shee 's as fartuous a ciuill modest wife and one I tell you that will not misse you morning nor euening prayer as any is in Windsor who ere bee the other and shee bade me tell your worship that her husband is seldome from home but she hopes there will come a time I neuer knew a woman so doate vpon a man surely I thinke you haue charmes la yes in truth Fal. Not I I assure thee setting the attraction of my good parts aside I haue no other charmes Qui. Blessing on your heart for 't Fal. But I pray thee tell me this has Fords wife and Pages wife acquainted each other how they loue me Qui. That were a iest indeed they haue not so little grace I hope that were a tricke indeed But Mistris Page would desire you to send her your little Page of al loues her husband has a maruellous infectiō to the little Page and truely Master Page is an honest man neuer a wife in Windsor leades a better life then she do's doe what shee will say what she will take all pay all goe to bed when she list rise when she list all is as she will and truly she deserues it for if there be a kinde woman in Windsor she is one you must send her your Page no remedie Fal. Why I will Qu. Nay but doe so then and looke you hee may come and goe betweene you both and in any case haue a nay-word that you may know one anothers minde and the Boy neuer neede to vnderstand any thing for 't is not good that children should know any wickednes olde folkes you know haue discretion as they say and know the world Fal. Farethee-well commend mee to them both there 's my purse I am yet thy debter Boy goe along with this woman this newes distracts me Pist This Puncke is one of Cupids Carriers Clap on more sailes pursue vp with your fights Giue fire she is my prize or Ocean whelme them all Fal. Saist thou so old Iacke go thy waies I le make more of thy olde body then I haue done will they yet looke after thee wilt thou after the expence of so much money be now a gainer good Body I thanke thee let them say 't is grossely done so it bee fairely done no matter Bar. Sir Iohn there 's one Master Broome below would faine speake with you and be acquainted with you and hath sent your worship a mornings draught of Sacke Fal. Broome is his name Bar. I Sir Fal. Call him in such Broomes are welcome to mee that ore ' flowes such liquor ah ha Mistresse Ford and Mistresse Page haue I encompass'd you goe to via Ford. ' Blesse you sir Fal. And you sir would you speake with me Ford. I make bold to presse with so little preparation vpon you Fal. You 'r welcome what 's your will giue vs leaue Drawer Ford. Sir I am a Gentleman that haue spent much my name is Broome Fal. Good Master Broome I desire more acquaintance of you Ford. Good Sir Iohn I sue for yours not to charge you for I must let you vnderstand I thinke my selfe in better plight for a Lender then you are the which hath something emboldned me to this vnseason'd intrusion for they say if money goe before all waies doe lye open Fal. Money is a good Souldier Sir and will on Ford. Troth and I haue a bag of money heere troubles me if you will helpe to beare it Sir Iohn take all or halfe for easing me of the carriage Fal. Sir I know not how I may deserue to bee your Porter Ford. I will tell you sir if you will giue mee the hearing Fal. Speake good Master Broome I shall be glad to be your Seruant Ford. Sir I heare you are a Scholler I will be briefe with you and you haue been a man long knowne to me though I had neuer so good means as desire to make my selfe acquainted with you I shall discouer a thing to you wherein I must very much lay open mine owne imperfection but good Sir Iohn as you haue one eye vpon my follies as you heare them vnfolded turne another into the Register of your owne that I may passe with a reproofe the easier sith you your selfe know how easie it is to be such an offender Fal. Very well Sir proceed Ford There is a Gentlewoman in this Towne her husbands name is Ford. Fal. Well Sir Ford. I haue long lou'd her and I protest to you bestowed much on her followed her with a doating obseruance Ingross'd opportunities to meete her fee'd euery slight occasion that could but nigardly giue mee sight of her not only bought many presents to giue her but haue giuen largely to many to know what shee would haue giuen briefly I haue pursu'd her as Loue hath pursued mee
which hath beene on the wing of all occasions but whatsoeuer I haue merited either in my minde or in my meanes meede I am sure I haue receiued none vnlesse Experience be a Iewell that I haue purchased at an infinite rate and that hath taught mee to say this Loue like a shadow flies when substance Loue pursues Pursuing that that flies and flying what pursues Fal. Haue you receiu'd no promise of satisfaction at her hands Ford. Neuer Fal. Haue you importun'd her to such a purpose Ford. Neuer Fal. Of what qualitie was your loue then Ford. Like a fair house built on another mans ground so that I haue lost my edifice by mistaking the place where I erected it Fal. To what purpose haue you vnfolded this to me For. When I haue told you that I haue told you all Some say that though she appeare honest to mee yet in other places shee enlargeth her mirth so farre that there is shrewd construction made of her Now Sir Iohn here is the heart of my purpose you are a gentleman of excellent breeding admirable discourse of great admittance authenticke in your place and person generally allow'd for your many war-like court-like and learned preparations Fal. O Sir Ford. Beleeue it for you know it there is money spend it spend it spend more spend all I haue onely giue me so much of your time in enchange of it as to lay an amiable siege to the honesty of this Fords wife vse your Art of wooing win her to consent to you if any man may you may as soone as any Fal. Would it apply well to the vehemency of your affection that I should win what you would enioy Methinkes you prescribe to your selfe very preposterously Ford. O vnderstand my drift she dwells so securely on the excellency of her honor that the folly of my soule dares not present it selfe shee is too bright to be look'd against Now could I come to her with any detection in my hand my desires had instance and argument to commend themselues I could driue her then from the ward of her purity her reputation her marriage-vow and a thousand other her defences which now are too-too strongly embattaild against me what say you too 't Sir Iohn Fal. Master Broome I will first make bold with your money next giue mee your hand and last as I am a gentleman you shall if you will enioy Fords wife Ford. O good Sir Fal. I say you shall Ford. Want no money Sir Iohn you shall want none Fal. Want no Mistresse Ford Master Broome you shall want none I shall be with her I may tell you by her owne appointment euen as you came in to me her assistant or goe-betweene parted from me I say I shall be with her betweene ten and eleuen for at that time the iealious-rascally-knaue her husband will be forth come you to me at night you shall know how I speed Ford. I am blest in your acquaintance do you know Ford Sir Fal. Hang him poore Cuckoldly knaue I know him not yet I wrong him to call him poore They say the iealous wittolly-knaue hath masses of money for the which his wife seemes to me well-fauourd I will vse her as the key of the Cuckoldly-rogues Coffer ther 's my haruest-home Ford. I would you knew Ford sir that you might auoid him if you saw him Fal. Hang him mechanicall-salt-butter rogue I wil stare him out of his wits I will awe-him with my cudgell it shall hang like a Meteor ore the Cuckolds horns Master Broome thou shalt know I will predominate ouer the pezant and thou shalt lye with his wife Come to me soone at night Ford's a knaue and I will aggrauate his stile thou Master Broome shalt know him for knaue and Cuckold Come to me soone at night Ford. What a damn'd Epicurian-Rascall is this my heart is ready to cracke with impatience who saies this is improuident iealousie my wife hath sent to him the howre is fixt the match is made would any man haue thought this see the hell of hauing a false woman my bed shall be abus'd my Coffers ransack'd my reputation gnawne at and I shall not onely receiue this villanous wrong but stand vnder the adoption of abhominable termes and by him that does mee this wrong Termes names Amaimon sounds well Lucifer well Barbason well yet they are Diuels additions the names of fiends But Cuckold Wittoll Cuckold the Diuell himselfe hath not such a name Page is an Asse a secure Asse hee will trust his wife hee will not be iealous I will rather trust a Fleming with my butter Parson Hugh the Welshman with my Cheese an Irish-man with my Aqua-vitae-bottle or a Theefe to walke my ambling gelding then my wife with her selfe Then she plots then shee ruminates then shee deuises and what they thinke in their hearts they may effect they will breake their hearts but they will effect Heauen bee prais'd for my iealousie eleuen o' clocke the howre I will preuent this detect my wife bee reueng'd on Falstaffe and laugh at Page I will about it better three houres too soone then a mynute too late fie fie fie Cuckold Cuckold Cuckold Exti Scena Tertia Enter Caius Rugby Page Shallow Slender Host Caius Iacke Rugby Rug. Sir Caius Vat is the clocke Iack. Rug. 'T is past the howre Sir that Sir Hugh promis'd to meet Cai. By gar he has saue his soule dat he is no-come hee has pray his Pible well dat he is no-come by gar Iack Rugby he is dead already if he be come Rug. Hee is wise Sir hee knew your worship would kill him if he came Cai. By gar de herring is no dead so as I vill kill him take your Rapier Iacke I vill tell you how I vill kill him Rug. Alas sir I cannot fence Cai. Villanie take your Rapier Rug. Forbeare heer 's company Host ' Blesse thee bully-Doctor Shal. ' Saue you M r. Doctor Caius Page Now good M r. Doctor Slen. ' Giue you good-morrow sir Caius Vat be all you one two tree fowre come for Host To see thee fight to see thee foigne to see thee trauerse to see thee heere to see thee there to see thee passe thy puncto thy flock thy reuerse thy distance thy montant Is he dead my Ethiopian Is he dead my Francisco ha Bully what saies my Esculapius my Galien my heart of Elder ha is he dead bully-Stale is he dead Cai. By gar he is de Coward-Iack-Priest of de vorld he is not show his face Host Thou art a Castalion-king-Vrinall Hector of Greece my Boy Cai. I pray you beare witnesse that me haue stay sixe or seuen two tree howres for him and hee is no-come Shal. He is the wiser man M. Docto rhe is a curer of soules and you a curer of bodies if you should fight you goe against the haire of your professions is it not true Master Page Page Master Shallow you haue your selfe beene a great fighter though now a
promise to bring me where is Anne Page by gar he deceiue me too Euan. Well I will smite his noddles pray you follow Scena Secunda Mist Page Robin Ford Page Shallow Slender Host Euans Caius Mist Page Nay keepe your way little Gallant you were wont to be a follower but now you are a Leader whether had you rather lead mine eyes or eye your masters heeles Rob. I had rather forsooth go before you like a man then follow him like a dwarfe M. Pa. O you are a flattering boy now I see you 'l be a Courtier Ford. Well met mistris Page whether go you M. Pa. Truly Sir to see your wife is she at home Ford. I and as idle as she may hang together for want of company I thinke if your husbands were dead you two would marry M. Pa. Be sure of that two other husbands Ford. Where had you this pretty weather-cocke M. Pa. I cannot tell what the dickens his name is my husband had him of what do you cal your Knights name sirrah Rob. Sir Iohn Falstaffe Ford. Sir Iohn Falstaffe M. Pa. He he I can neuer hit on 's name there is such a league betweene my goodman and he is your Wife at home indeed Ford. Indeed she is M. Pa. By your leaue sir I am sicke till I see her Ford. Has Page any braines Hath he any eies Hath he any thinking Sure they sleepe he hath no vse of them why this boy will carrie a letter twentie mile as easie as a Canon will shoot point-blanke twelue score hee peeces out his wiues inclination he giues her folly motion and advantage and now she 's going to my wife Falstaffes boy with her A man may heare this showre sing in the winde and Falstaffes boy with her good plots they are laide and our reuolted wiues share damnation together Well I will take him then torture my wife plucke the borrowed vaile of modestie from the so-seeming Mist Page divulge Page himselfe for a secure and wilfull Acteon and to these violent proceedings all my neighbors shall cry aime The clocke giues me my Qu and my assurance bids me search there I shall finde Falstaffe I shall be rather praisd for this then mock'd for it is as possitiue as the earth is firme that Falstaffe is there I will go Shal. Page c. Well met M r Ford. Ford. Trust me a good knotte I haue good cheere at home and I pray you all go with me Shal. I must excuse my selfe M r Ford. Slen. And so must I Sir We haue appointed to dine with Mistris Anne And I would not breake with her for more mony Then I le speake of Shal. We haue linger'd about a match betweene An Page and my cozen Slender and this day wee shall haue our answer Slen. I hope I haue your good will Father Page Pag. You haue M r Slender I stand wholly for you But my wife M r Doctor is for you altogether Cai. I be-gar and de Maid is loue-a-me my nursha-Quickly tell me so mush Host What say you to yong M r Fenton He capers he dances he has eies of youth he writes verses hee speakes holliday he smels April and May he wil carry 't he will carry 't 't is in his buttons he will carry 't Page Not by my consent I promise you The Gentleman is of no hauing hee kept companie with the wilde Prince and Pointz he is of too high a Region he knows too much no hee shall not knit a knot in his fortunes with the finger of my substance if he take her let him take her simply the wealth I haue waits on my consent and my consent goes not that way Ford. I beseech you heartily some of you goe home with me to dinner besides your cheere you shall haue sport I will shew you a monster M r Doctor you shal go so shall you M r Page and you Sir Hugh Shal. Well fare you well We shall haue the freer woing at M r. Pages Cai. Go home Iohn Rugby I come anon Host Farewell my hearts I will to my honest Knight Falstaffe and drinke Canarie with him Ford. I thinke I shall drinke in Pipe-wine first with him I le make him dance Will you go Gentles All. Haue with you to see this Monster Exeunt Scena Tertia Enter M. Ford M. Page Seruants Robin Falstaffe Ford Page Caius Euans Mist Ford. What Iohn what Robert M. Page Quickly quickly Is the Buck-basket Mis Ford. I warrant What Robin I say Mis Page Come come come Mist Ford. Heere set it downe M. Pag. Giue your men the charge we must be briefe M. Ford. Marrie as I told you before Iohn Robert be ready here hard-by in the Brew-house when I sodainly call you come forth and without any pause or staggering take this basket on your shoulders y t done trudge with it in all hast and carry it among the Whitsters in Dotchet Mead and there empty it in the muddie ditch close by the Thames side M. Page You will do it M. Ford. I ha told them ouer and ouer they lacke no direction Be gone and come when you are call'd M. Page Here comes little Robin Mist Ford. How now my Eyas-Musket what newes with you Rob. My M. Sir Iohn is come in at your backe doore Mist Ford and requests your company M. Page You litle Iack-a-lent haue you bin true to vs Rob. I I le be sworne my Master knowes not of your being heere and hath threatned to put me into euerlasting liberty if I tell you of it for he sweares he 'll turne me away Mist Pag. Thou' rt a good boy this secrecy of thine shall be a Tailor to thee and shal make thee a new doublet and hose I le go hide me Mi. Ford. Do so go tell thy Master I am alone Mistris Page remember you your Qu. Mist Pag. I warrant thee if I do not act it hisse me Mist Ford. Go-too then we 'l vse this vnwholsome humidity this grosse-watry Pumpion we 'll teach him to know Turtles from Iayes Fal. Haue I caught thee my heauenly Iewell Why now let me die for I haue liu'd long enough This is the period of my ambition O this blessed houre Mist Ford. O sweet Sir Iohn Fal. Mistris Ford I cannot cog I cannot prate Mist Ford now shall I sin in my wish I would thy Husband were dead I le speake it before the best Lord I would make thee my Lady Mist Ford. I your Lady Sir Iohn Alas I should bee a pittifull Lady Fal. Let the Court of France shew me such another I see how thine eye would emulate the Diamond Thou hast the right arched-beauty of the brow that becomes the Ship-tyre the Tyre-valiant or any Tire of Venetian admittance Mist Ford. A plaine Kerchiefe Sir Iohn My browes become nothing else nor that well neither Fal. Thou art a tyrant to say so thou wouldst make an absolute Courtier and the firme fixture of thy foote would giue an excellent
motion to thy gate in a semi-circled Farthingale I see what thou wert if Fortune thy foe were not Nature thy friend Come thou canst not hide it Mist Ford. Beleeue me ther 's no such thing in me Fal. What made me loue thee Let that perswade thee Ther 's something extraordinary in thee Come I cannot cog and say thou art this and that like a-manie of these lisping-hauthorne buds that come like women in mens apparrell and smell like Bucklers-berry in simple time I cannot but I loue thee none but thee and thou deseru'st it M. Ford. Do not betray me sir I fear you loue M. Page Fal. Thou mightst as well say I loue to walke by the Counter-gate which is as hatefull to me as the reeke of a Lime-kill Mis Ford. Well heauen knowes how I loue you And you shall one day finde it Fal. Keepe in that minde I le deserue it Mist Ford. Nay I must tell you so you doe Or else I could not be in that minde Rob. Mistris Ford Mistris Ford heere 's Mistris Page at the doore sweating and blowing and looking wildely and would needs speake with you presently Fal. She shall not see me I will ensconce mee behinde the Arras M. Ford. Pray you do so she 's a very tatling woman What 's the matter How now Mist Page O mistris Ford what haue you done You 'r sham'd y' are ouerthrowne y' are vndone for euer M. Ford. What 's the matter good mistris Page M. Page O weladay mist Ford hauing an honest man to your husband to giue him such cause of suspition M. Ford. What cause of suspition M. Page What cause of suspition Out vpon you How am I mistooke in you M. Ford. Why alas what 's the matter M. Page Your husband's comming hether Woman with all the Officers in Windsor to search for a Gentleman that he sayes is heere now in the house by your consent to take an ill aduantage of his absence you are vndone M. Ford. 'T is not so I hope M. Page Pray heauen it be not so that you haue such a man heere but 't is most certaine your husband's comming with halfe Windsor at his heeles to serch for such a one I come before to tell you If you know your selfe cleere why I am glad of it but if you haue a friend here conuey conuey him out Be not amaz'd call all your senses to you defend your reputation or bid farwell to your good life for euer M. Ford. What shall I do There is a Gentleman my deere friend and I feare not mine owne shame so much as his perill I had rather then a thousand pound he were out of the house M. Page For shame neuer stand you had rather and you had rather your husband 's heere at hand bethinke you of some conueyance in the house you cannot hide him Oh how haue you deceiu'd me Looke heere is a basket if he be of any reasonable stature he may creepe in heere and throw fowle linnen vpon him as if it were going to bucking Or it is whiting time send him by your two men to Datchet-Meade M. Ford. He 's too big to go in there what shall I do Fal. Let me see 't let me see 't O let me see 't I le in I le in Follow your friends counsell I le in M. Page What Sir Iohn Faistasse Are these your Letters Knight Fal. I loue thee helpe mee away let me creepe in heere I le neuer M. Page Helpe to couer your master Boy Call your men Mist Ford. You dissembling Knight M. Ford. What Iohn Robert Iohn Go take vp these cloathes heere quickly Wher 's the Cowle-staffe Look how you drumble Carry them to the Landresse in Datchet mead quickly come Ford. 'Pray you come nere if I suspect without cause Why then make sport at me then let me be your iest I deserue it How now Whether beare you this Ser. To the Landresse forsooth M. Ford. Why what haue you to doe whether they beare it You were best meddle with buck-washing Ford. Bucke I would I could wash my selfe of y e Buck Bucke bucke bucke I bucke I warrant you Bucke And of the season too it shall appeare Gentlemen I haue dream'd to night I le tell you my dreame heere heere heere bee my keyes ascend my Chambers search seeke finde out I le warrant wee 'le vnkennell the Fox Let me stop this way first so now vncape Page Good master Ford be contented You wrong your selfe too much Ford. True master Page vp Gentlemen You shall see sport anon Follow me Gentlemen Euans This is fery fantasticall humors and iealousies Caius By gar 't is no-the fashion of France It is not iealous in France Page Nay follow him Gentlemen see the yssue of his search Mist Page Is there not a double excellency in this Mist Ford. I know not which pleases me better That my husband is deceiued or Sir Iohn Mist Page What a taking was hee in when your husband askt who was in the basket Mist Ford. I am halfe affraid he will haue neede of washing so throwing him into the water will doe him a benefit Mist Page Hang him dishonest rascall I would all of the same straine were in the same distresse Mist Ford. I thinke my husband hath some speciall suspition of Falstaffs being heere for I neuer saw him so grosse in his iealousie till now Mist Page I will lay a plot to try that and wee will yet haue more trickes with Falstaffe his dissolute disease will scarse obey this medicine Mis Ford. Shall we send that foolishion Carion Mist Quickly to him and excuse his throwing into the water and giue him another hope to betray him to another punishment Mist. Page We will do it let him be sent for to morrow eight a clocke to haue amends Ford. I cannot finde him may be the knaue bragg'd of that he could not compasse Mis Page Heard you that Mis Ford. You vse me well M. Ford Do you Ford. I I do so M. Ford. Heauen make you better then your thoghts Ford. Amen Mi. Page You do your selfe mighty wrong M. Ford Ford. I I I must beare it Eu. If there be any pody in the house in the chambers and in the coffers and in the presses heauen forgiue my sins at the day of iudgement Caius Be gar nor I too there is no-bodies Page Fy fy M. Ford are you not asham'd What spirit what diuell suggests this imagination I wold not ha your distemper in this kind for y e welth of Windsor castle Ford. 'T is my fault M. Page I suffer for it Euans You suffer for a pad conscience your wife is as honest a o' mans as I will desires among fiue thousand and fiue hundred too Cai By gar I see 't is an honest woman Ford. Well I promisd you a dinner come come walk in the Parke I pray you pardon me I wil hereafter make knowne to you why I haue done this Come wife come Mi. Page
Falstaffe at that Oake shall meete with vs. Page Well let it not be doubted but he 'll come And in this shape when you haue brought him thether What shall be done with him What is your plot Mist Pa. That likewise haue we thoght vpon thus Nan Page my daughter and my little sonne And three or foure more of their growth wee 'l dresse Like Vrchins Ouphes and Fairies greene and white With rounds of waxen Tapers on their heads And rattles in their hands vpon a sodaine As Falstaffe she and I are newly met Let them from forth a saw-pit rush at once With some diffused song Vpon their sight We two in great amazednesse will flye Then let them all encircle him about And Fairy-like to pinch the vncleane Knight And aske him why that houre of Fairy Reuell In their so sacred pathes he dares to tread In shape prophane Ford. And till he tell the truth Let the supposed Fairies pinch him sound And burne him with their Tapers Mist Page The truth being knowne We 'll all present our selues dis-horne the spirit And mocke him home to Windsor Ford. The children must Be practis'd well to this or they 'll neu'r doo 't Eua. I will teach the children their behauiours and I will be like a Iacke-an-Apes also to burne the Knight with my Taber Ford. That will be excellent I le go buy them vizards Mist Page My Nan shall be the Queene of all the Fairies finely attired in a robe of white Page That silke will I go buy and in that time Shall M. Slender steale my Nan away And marry her at Eaton go send to Falstaffe straight Ford. Nay I le to him againe in name of Broome Hee 'l tell me all his purpose sure hee 'l come Mist Page Feare not you that Go get vs properties And tricking for our Fayries Euans Let vs about it It is admirable pleasures and ferry honest knaueries Mis Page Go Mist Ford Send quickly to Sir Iohn to know his minde I le to the Doctor he hath my good will And none but he to marry with Nan Page That Slender though well landed is an Ideot And he my husband best of all affects The Doctor is well monied and his friends Potent at Court he none but he shall haue her Though twenty thousand worthier come to craue her Scena Quinta Enter Host Simple Falstaffe Bardolfe Euans Caius Quickly Host What wouldst thou haue Boore what thick skin speake breathe discusse breefe short quicke snap Simp. Marry Sir I come to speake with Sir Iohn Falstaffe from M. Slender Host There 's his Chamber his House his Castle his standing-bed and truckle-bed 't is painted about with the story of the Prodigall fresh and new go knock and call hee 'l speake like an Anthropophaginian vnto thee Knocke I say Simp. There 's an olde woman a fat woman gone vp into his chamber I le be so bold as stay Sir till she come downe I come to speake with her indeed Host Ha A fat woman The Knight may be robb'd I le call Bully-Knight Bully Sir Iohn speake from thy Lungs Military Art thou there It is thine Host thine Ephesian cals Fal. How now mine Host Host. Here 's a Bohemian-Tartar taries the comming downe of thy fat-woman Let her descend Bully let her descend my Chambers are honourable Fie priuacy Fie Fal. There was mine Host an old-fat-woman euen now with me but she 's gone Simp. Pray you Sir was 't not the Wise-woman of Brainford Fal. I marry was it Mussel-shell what would you with her Simp. My Master Sir my master Slender sent to her seeing her go thorough the streets to know Sir whether one Nim Sir that beguil'd him of a chaine had the chaine or no. Fal. I spake with the old woman about it Sim. And what sayes she I pray Sir Fal. Marry shee sayes that the very same man that beguil'd Master Slender of his Chaine cozon'd him of it Simp. I would I could haue spoken with the Woman her selfe I had other things to haue spoken with her too from him Fal. What are they let vs know Host I come quicke Fal. I may not conceale them Sir Host Conceale them or thou di'st Sim. Why sir they were nothing but about Mistris Anne Page to know if it were my Masters fortune to haue her or no. Fal. 'T is 't is his fortune Sim. What Sir Fal. To haue her or no goe say the woman told me so Sim. May I be bold to say so Sir Fal. I Sir like who more bold Sim. I thanke your worship I shall make my Master glad with these tydings Host Thou are clearkly thou art clearkly Sir Iohn was there a wise woman with thee Fal. I that there was mine Host one that hath taught me more wit then euer I learn'd before in my life and I paid nothing for it neither but was paid for my learning Bar. Out alas Sir cozonage meere cozonage Host Where be my horses speake well of them varletto Bar. Run away with the cozoners for so soone as I came beyond Eaton they threw me off from behinde one of them in a slough of myre and set spurres and away like three Germane-diuels three Doctor Faustaffes Host They are gone but to meete the Duke villaine doe not say they be fled Germanes are honest men Euan. Where is mine Host Host What is the matter Sir Euan. Haue a care of your entertainments there is a friend of mine come to Towne tels mee there is three Cozen-Iermans that has cozend all the Hosts of Readins of Maidenhead of Cole-brooke of horses and money I tell you for good will looke you you are wise and full of gibes and vlouting-stocks and 't is not conuenient you should be cozoned Fare you well Cai. Ver ' is mine Host de Iarteere Host Here Master Doctor in perplexitie and doubtfull delemma Cai. I cannot tell vat is dat but it is tell-a-me dat you make grand preparation for a Duke de Iamanie by my trot der is no Duke that the Court is know to come I tell you for good will adieu Host Huy and cry villaine goe assist me Knight I am vndone fly run huy and cry villaine I am vndone Fal. I would all the world might be cozond for I haue beene cozond and beaten too if it should come to the eare of the Court how I haue beene transformed and how my transformation hath beene washd and cudgeld they would melt mee out of my fat drop by drop and liquor Fishermens-boots with me I warrant they would whip me with their fine wits till I were as crest-falne as a dride-peare I neuer prosper'd since I forswore my selfe at Primerâ— well if my winde were but long enough I would repent Now Whence come you Qui. From the two parties forsooth Fal. The Diuell take one partie and his Dam the other and so they shall be both bestowed I haue suffer'd more for their sakes more then the villanous inconstancy of mans disposition is able
parts be pold I pray you follow me into the pit and when I giue the watch-'ords do as I pid you Come come trib trib Exeunt Scena Quinta Enter Falstaffe Mistris Page Mistris Ford Euans Anne Page Fairies Page Ford Quickly Slender Fenton Caius Pistoll Fal. The Windsor-bell hath stroke twelue the Minute drawes-on Now the hot-bloodied-Gods assist me Remember louâ— thou was 't a Bull for thy Europa Loue set on thy hornes O powerfull Loue that in some respects makes a Beast a Man in som other a Man a beast You were also Iupiter a Swan for the loue of Leda O omnipotent Loue how nere the God drew to the complexion of a Goose a fault done first in the forme of a beast O Ioue a beastly fault and then another fault in the semblance of a Fowle thinke on 't Ioue a fowle-fault When Gods haue hot backes what shall poore men do For me I am heere a Windsor Stagge and the fattest I thinke i' th Forrest Send me a coole rut-time Ioue or who can blame me to pisse my Tallow Who comes heere my Doe M. Ford. Sir Iohn Art thou there my Deere My male-Deere Fal. My Doe with the blacke Scut Let the skie raine Potatoes let it thunder to the tune of Greene-sleeues haile-kissing Comfits and snow Eringoes Let there come a tempest of prouocation I will shelter mee heere M. Ford. Mistris Page is come with me sweet hart Fal. Diuide me like a brib'd-Bucke each a Haunch I will keepe my sides to my selfe my shoulders for the fellow of this walke and my hornes I bequeath your husbands Am I a Woodman ha Speake I like Herne the Hunter Why now is Cupid a child of conscience he makes restitution As I am a true spirit welcome M. Page Alas what noise M. Ford. Heauen forgiue our sinnes Fal. What should this be M. Ford. M. Page Away away Fal. I thinke the diuell wil not haue me damn'd Least the oyle that 's in me should set hell on fire He would neuer else crosse me thus Enter Fairies Qui. Fairies blacke gray greene and white You Moone-shine reuellers and shades of night You Orphan heires of fixed destiny Attend your office and your quality Crier Hob-goblyn make the Fairy Oyes Pist Elues list your names Silence you aiery toyes Cricket to Windsor-chimnies shalt thou leape Where fires thou find'st vnrak'd and hearths vnswept There pinch the Maids as blew as Bill-berry Our radiant Queene hates Sluts and Sluttery Fal. They are Fairies he that speaks to them shall die I le winke and couch No man their workes must eie Eu. Wher 's Bede Go you and where you find a maid That ere she sleepe has thrice her prayers said Raise vp the Organs of her fantasie Sleepe she as sound as carelesse infancie But those as sleepe and thinke not on their sins Pinch them armes legs backes shoulders sides shins Qu. About about Search Windsor Castle Elues within and out Strew good â—kâ— Ouphes on euery sacred roome That it may stand till the perpetuall doome In state as wholsome as in state 't is sit Worthy the Owner and the Owner it The seuerall Chaiâ— of Order tooke you sâ—owre With iuyce of Balme and euery precious flowre Each faire Instalment Coate and seu'rall Crest With loyall Blazon euermore be blest And Nightly-meadow-Fairies looke you sing Like to the Garters-Compasse in a ring Th' expressure that it beares Greene let it be Mote fertile-fresh then all the Field to see And Hony Soit Qui Mal-y-Pence write In Emrold-tuffes Flowres purple blew and white Like Saphire-pearle and rich embroiderie Buckled below faire Knight-hoods bending knee Fairies vse Flowres for their characterie Away disperse But till 't is one a clocke Our Dance of Custome round about the Oke Of Herne the Hunter let vs not forget Euan. Pray you lock hand in hand your selues in order set And twenty glow-wormes shall our Lanthornes bee To guide our Measure round about the Tree But stay I smell a man of middle earth Fal. Heauens defend me from that Welsh Fairy Least he transforme me to a peece of Cheese Pist Vilde worme thou wast ore-look'd euen in thy birth Qu. With Triall-fire touch me his finger end If he be chaste the flame will backe descend And turne him to no paine but if he start It is the flesh of a corrupted hart Pist A triall come Eua. Come will this wood take fire Fal. Oh oh oh Qui. Corrupt corrupt and tainted in desire About him Fairies sing a scornfull rime And as you trip still pinch him to your time The Song Fie on sinnefull phantasie Fie on Lust and Luxurie Lust is but a bloudy fire kindled with vnchaste desire Fed in heart whose flames aspire As thoughts do blow them higher and higher Pinch him Fairies mutually Pinch him for his villanie Pinch him and burne him and turne him about Till Candles Star-light Moone-shine be out Page Nay do not flye I thinke we haue watcht you now VVill none but Herne the Hunter serue your turne M. Page I pray you come hold vp the iest no higher Now good Sir Iohn how like you Windsor wiues See you these husband Do not these faire yoakes Become the Forrest better then the Towne Ford. Now Sir whose a Cuckold now M r Broome Falstaffes a Knaue a Cuckoldly knaue Heere are his hornes Master Broome And Master Broome he hath enioyed nothing of Fords but his Buck-basket his cudgell and twenty pounds of money which must be paid to M r Broome his horses are arrested for it M r Broome M. Ford. Sir Iohn we haue had ill lucke wee could neuer meete I will neuer take you for my Loue againe but I will alwayes count you my Deere Fal. I do begin to perceiue that I am made an Asse Ford. I and an Oxe too both the proofes are extant Fal. And these are not Fairies I was three or foure times in the thought they were not Fairies and yet the guiltinesse of my minde the sodaine surprize of my powers droue the grossenesse of the foppery into a receiu'd beleefe in despight of the teeth of all rime and reason that they were Fairies See now how wit may be made a Iacke-a-Lent when 't is vpon ill imployment Euant Sir Iohn Falstaffe serue Got and leaue your desires and Fairies will not pinse you Ford. VVell said Fairy Hugh Euans And leaue you your iealouzies too I pray you Ford. I will neuer mistrust my wife againe till thou art able to woo her in good English Fal. Haue I laid my braine in the Sun and dri'de it that it wants matter to preuent so grosse ore-reaching as this Am I ridden with a Welch Goate too Shal I haue a Coxcombe of Frize T is time I were choak'd with a peece of toasted Cheese Eu. Seese is not good to giue putter your belly is al putter Fal. Seese and Putter Haue I liu'd to stand at the taunt of one that makes Fritters of English This is enough to be
the decay of lust and late-walking through the Realme Mist Page Why Sir Iohn do you thinke though wee would haue thrust vertue out of our hearts by the head and shoulders and haue giuen our selues without scruple to hell that euer the deuill could haue made you our delight Ford What a hodge-pudding A bag of flax Mist Page A puft man Page Old cold wither'd and of intollerable entrailes Ford. And one that is as slanderous as Sathan Page And as poore as Iob Ford. And as wicked as his wife Euan. And giuen to Fornications and to Tauernes and Sacke and Wine and Metheglins and to drinkings and swearings and starings Pribles and prables Fal. Well I am your Theame you haue the start of me I am deiected I am not able to answer the Welch Flannell Ignorance it selfe is a plummet ore me vse me as you will Ford. Marry Sir wee 'l bring you to Windsor to one M r Broome that you haue cozon'd of money to whom you should haue bin a Pander ouer and aboue that you haue suffer'd I thinke to repay that money will be a biting affliction Page Yet be cheerefull Knight thou shalt eat a posset to night at my house wher I will desire thee to laugh at my wife that now laughes at thee Tell her M r Slender hath married her daughter Mist Page Doctors doubt that If Anne Page be my daughter she is by this Doctour Caius wife Slen. Whoa hoe hoe Father Page Page Sonne How now How now Sonne Haue you dispatch'd Slen. Dispatch'd I le make the best in Gloftershire know on 't would I were hang'd la else Page Of what sonne Slen. I came yonder at Eaton to marry Mistris Anne Page and she 's a great lubberly boy If it had not bene i' th Church I would haue swing'd him or hee should haue swing'd me If I did not thinke it had beene Anne Page would I might neuer stirre and 't is a Post-masters Boy Page Vpon my life then you tooke the wrong Slen. What neede you tell me that I think so when I tooke a Boy for a Girle If I had bene married to him for all he was in womans apparrell I would not haue had him Page Why this is your owne folly Did not I tell you how you should know my daughter By her garments Slen. I went to her in greene and cried Mum and she cride budget as Anne and I had appointed and yet it was not Anne but a Post-masters boy Mist. Page Good George be not angry I knew of your purpose turn'd my daughter into white and indeede she is now with the Doctor at the Deanrie and there married Cai. Ver is Mistris Page by gar I am cozoned I ha married oon Garsoon a boy oon pesant by gar A boy it is not An Page by gar I am cozened M. Page VVhy did you take her in white Cai. I bee gar and 't is a boy be gar I le raise all Windsor Ford. This is strange Who hath got the right Anne Page My heart misgiues me here comes M r Fenton How now M r Fenton Anne Pardon good father good my mother pardon Page Now Mistris How chance you went not with M r Slender M. Page Why went you not with M r Doctor maid Fen. You do amaze her heare the truth of it You would haue married her most shamefully Where there was no proportion held in loue The truth is she and I long since contracted Are now so sure that nothing can dissolue vs Th' offence is holy that she hath committed And this deceit looses the name of craft Of disobedience or vnduteous title Since therein she doth euitate and shun A thousand irreligious cursed houres Which forced marriage would haue brought vpon her Ford. Stand not amaz'd here is no remedie In Loue the heauens themselues do guide the state Money buyes Lands and wiues are sold by fate Fal. I am glad though you haue tane a special stand to strike at me that your Arrow hath glanc'd Page Well what remedy Fenton heauen giue thee ioy what cannot be eschew'd must be embrac'd Fal. When night-dogges run all sorts of Deere are chac'd Mist Page Well I will muse no further M r Fenton Heauen giue you many many merry dayes Good husband let vs euery one go home And laugh this sport ore by a Countrie fire Sir Iohn and all Ford. Let it be so Sir Iohn To Master Broome you yet shall hold your word For he to night shall lye with Mistris Ford Exeunt FINIS MEASVRE For Measure Actus primus Scena prima Enter Duke Escalus Lords Duke EScalus Esc My Lord. Duk. Of Gouernment the properties to vnfold Would seeme in me t' affect speech discourse Since I am put to know that your owne Science Exceedes in that the lists of all aduice My strength can giue you Then no more remaines But that to your sufficiency as your worth is able And let them worke The nature of our People Our Cities Institutions and the Termes For Common Iustice y' are as pregnant in As Art and practise hath inriched any That we remember There is our Commission From which we would not haue you warpe call hither I say bid come before vs Angelo What figure of vs thinke you he will beare For you must know we haue with speciall soule Elected him our absence to supply Lent him our terror drest him with our loue And giuen his Deputation all the Organs Of our owne powre What thinke you of it Esc If any in Vienna be of worth To vndergoe such ample grace and honour It is Lord Angelo Enter Angelo Duk. Looke where he comes Ang. Alwayes obedient to your Graces will I come to know your pleasure Duke Angelo There is a kinde of Character in thy life That to th' obseruer doth thy history Fully vnfold Thy selfe and thy belongings Are not thine owne so proper as to waste Thy selfe vpon thy vertues they on thee Heauen doth with vs as we with Torches doe Not light them for themselues For if our vertues Did not goe forth of vs 't were all alike As if we had them not Spirits are not finely touch'd But to fine issues nor nature neuer lends The smallest scruple of her excellence But like a thrifty goddesse she determines Her selfe the glory of a creditour Both thanks and vse but I do bend my speech To one that can my part in him aduertise Hold therefore Angelo In our remoue be thou at full our selfe Mortallitie and Mercie in Vienna Liue in thy tongue and heart Old Escalus Though first in question is thy secondary Take thy Commission Ang. Now good my Lord Let there be some more test made of my mettle Before so noble and so great a figure Be stamp't vpon it Duk. No more euasion We haue with a leauen'd and prepared choice Proceeded to you therefore take your honors Our haste from hence is of so quicke condition That it prefers it selfe and leaues vnquestion'd Matters of needfull value We
as you is not that strange Beat. As strange as the thing I know not it were as possible for me to say I loued nothing so well as you but beleeue me not and yet I lie not I confesse nothing nor I deny nothing I am sorry for my cousin Bene. By my sword Beatrice thou lou'st me Beat. Doe not sweare by it and eat it Bene. I will sweare by it that you loue mee and I will make him eat it that sayes I loue not you Beat. Will you not eat your word Bene. With no sawce that can be deuised to it I protest I loue thee Beat. Why then God forgiue me Bene. What offence sweet Beatrice Beat. You haue stayed me in a happy howre I was about to protest I loued you Bene. And doe it with all thy heart Beat. I loue you with so much of my heart that none is left to protest Bened. Come bid me doe any thing for thee Beat. Kill Claudio Bene. Ha not for the wide world Beat. You kill me to denie farewell Bene. Tarrie sweet Beatrice Beat. I am gone though I am heere there is no loue in you nay I pray you let me goe Bene. Beatrice Beat. Infaith I will goe Bene. Wee 'll be friends first Beat. You dare easier be friends with mee than fight with mine enemy Bene. Is Claudio thine enemie Beat. Is a not approued in the height a villaine that hath slandered scorned dishonoured my kinswoman O that I were a man what beare her in hand vntill they come to take hands and then with publike accusation vncouered slander vnmittigated rancour O God that I were a man I would eat his heart in the market-place Bene. Heare me Beatrice Beat. Talke with a man out at a window a proper saying Bene. Nay but Beatrice Beat. Sweet Hero she is wrong'd shee is slandered she is vndone Bene. Beat Beat. Princes and Counties surelie a Princely testimonie a goodly Count Comfect a sweet Gallant surelie O that I were a man for his sake or that I had any friend would be a man for my sake But manhood is melted into cursies valour into complement and men are onelie turned into tongue and trim ones too he is now as valiant as Hercules that only tells a lie and sweares it I cannot be a man with wishing therfore I will die a woman with grieuing Bene. Tarry good Beatrice by this hand I loue thee Beat. Vse it for my loue some other way then swearing by it Bened. Thinke you in your soule the Count Claudio hath wrong'd Hero Beat. Yea as sure as I haue a thought or a soule Bene. Enough I am engagde I will challenge him I will kisse your hand and so leaue you by this hand Claudio shall render me a deere account as you heare of me so thinke of me goe comfort your coosin I must say she is dead and so farewell Enter the Constables Borachio and the Towne Clerke in gownes Keeper Is our whole dissembly appeard Cowley O a stoole and a cushion for the Sexton Sexton Which be the malefactors Andrew Marry that am I and my partner Cowley Nay that 's certaine wee haue the exhibition to examine Sexton But which are the offenders that are to be examined let them come before master Constable Kemp. Yea marry let them come before mee what is your name friend Bor. Borachio Kem. Pray write downe Borachio Yours sirra Con. I am a Gentleman sir and my name is Conrade Kee. Write downe Master gentleman Conradeâ— maisters doe you serue God maisters it is proued alreadie that you are little better than false knaues and it will goe neere to be thought so shortly how answer you for your selues Con. Marry sir we say we are none Kemp. A maruellous witty fellow I assure you but I will goe about with him come you hither sirra a word in your eare sir I say to you it is thought you are false knaues Bor. Sir I say to you we are none Kemp. Well stand aside 'fore God they are both in a tale haue you writ downe that they are none Sext. Master Constable you goe not the way to examine you must call forth the watch that are their accusers Kemp. Yea marry that 's the eftest way let the watch come forth masters I charge you in the Princes name accuse these men Watch 1. This man said sir that Don Iohn the Princes brother was a villaine Kemp. Write down Prince Iohn a villaine why this is flat periurie to call a Princes brother villaine Bora. Master Constable Kemp. Pray thee fellow peace I do not like thy looke I promise thee Sexton What heard you him say else Watch 2. Mary that he had receiued a thousand Dukates of Don Iohn for accusing the Lady Hero wrongfully Kemp. Flat Burglarie as euer was committed Const Yea by th' masse that it is Sexton What else fellow Watch 1. And that Count Claudio did meane vpon his words to disgrace Hero before the whole assembly and not marry her Kemp. O villaine thou wilt be condemn'd into euerlasting redemption for this Sexton What else Watch. This is all Sexton And this is more masters then you can deny Prince Iohn is this morning secretly stolne away Hero was in this manner accus'd in this very manner refus'd and vpon the griefe of this sodainely died Master Constable let these men be bound and brought to Leonato I will goe before and shew him their examination Const Come let them be opinion'd Sex Let them be in the hands of Coxcombe Kem. Gods my life where 's the Sexton let him write downe the Princes Officer Coxcombe come binde them thou naughty varlet Couley Away you are an asse you are an asse Kemp. Dost thou not suspect my place dost thou not suspect my yeeres O that hee were heere to write mee downe an asse but masters remember that I am an asse though it be not written down yet forget not y t I am an asse No thou villaine y u art full of piety as shall be prou'd vpon thee by good witnesse I am a wise fellow and which is more an officer and which is more a houshoulder and which is more as pretty a peece of flesh as any in Messina and one that knowes the Law goe to a rich fellow enough goe to and a fellow that hath had losses and one that hath two gownes and euery thing handsome about him bring him away O that I had been writ downe an asse Exit Actus Quintus Enter Leonato and his brother Brother If you goe on thus you will kill your selfe And 't is not wisedome thus to second griefe Against your selfe Leon. I pray thee cease thy counsaile Which falls into mine eares as profitlesse As water in a siue giue not me counsaile Nor let no comfort delight mine eare But such a one whose wrongs doth sute with mine Bring me a father that so lou'd his childe Whose ioy of her is ouer-whelmed like mine And bid him speake of patience Measure his woe
cap then to wait at my heeles I was neuer mann'd with an Agot till now but I will sette you neyther in Gold nor Siluer but in vilde apparell and send you backe againe to your Master for a Iewell The Iuuenall the Prince your Master whose Chin is not yet fledg'd I will sooner haue a beard grow in the Palme of my hand then he shall get one on his cheeke yet he will not sticke to say his Face is a Face-Royall Heauen may finish it when he will it is not a haire amisse yet he may keepe it still at a Face-Royall for a Barber shall neuer earne six pence out of it and yet he will be crowing as if he had writ man euer since his Father was a Batchellour He may keepe his owne Grace but he is almost out of mine I can assure him What said M. Dombledon about the Satten for my short Cloake and Slops Pag. He said sir you should procure him better Assurance then Bardolfe he wold not take his Bond yours he lik'd not the Security Fal. Let him bee damn'd like the Glutton may his Tongue be hotter a horson Achitophel a Rascally-yea-forsooth-knaue to beare a Gentleman in hand and then stand vpon Security The horson smooth-pates doe now weare nothing but high shoes and bunches of Keyes at their girdles and if a man is through with them in honest Taking-vp then they must stand vpon Securitie I had as liefe they would put Rats-bane in my mouth as offer to stoppe it with Security I look'd hee should haue sent me two and twenty yards of Satten as I am true Knight and he sends me Security Well he may sleep in Security for he hath the horne of Abundance and the lightnesse of his Wife shines through it and yet cannot he see though he haue his owne Lanthorne to light him Where 's Bardolfe Pag. He 's gone into Smithfield to buy your worship a horse Fal. I bought him in Paules and hee 'l buy mee a horse in Smithfield If I could get mee a wife in the Stewes I were Mann'd Hors'd and Wiu'd Enter Chiefe Iustice and Seruant Pag. Sir heere comes the Nobleman that committed the Prince for striking him about Bardolfe Fal. Wait close I will not see him Ch. Iust What 's he that goes there Ser. Falstaffe and 't please your Lordship Iust He that was in question for the Robbery Ser. He my Lord but he hath since done good seruice at Shrewsbury and as I heare is now going with some Charge to the Lord Iohn of Lancaster Iust. What to Yorke Call him backe againe Ser. Sir Iohn Falstaffe Fal. Boy tell him I am deafe Pag. You must speake lowder my Master is deafe Iust I am sure he is to the hearing of any thing good Go plucke him by the Elbow I must speake with him Ser. Sir Iohn Fal. What a yong knaue and beg Is there not wars Is there not imployment Doth not the K. lack subiects Do not the Rebels want Soldiers Though it be a shame to be on any side but one it is worse shame to begge then to be on the worst side were it worse then the name of Rebellion can tell how to make it Ser. You mistake me Sir Fal. Why sir Did I say you were an honest man Setting my Knight-hood and my Souldiership aside I had lyed in my throat if I had said so Ser. I pray you Sir then set your Knighthood and your Souldier-ship aside and giue mee leaue to tell you you lye in your throat if you say I am any other then an honest man Fal. I giue thee leaue to tell me so I lay a-side that which growes to me If thou get'st any leaue of me hang me if thou tak'st leaue thou wer't better be hang'd you Hunt-counter hence Auant Ser. Sir my Lord would speake with you Iust Sir Iohn Falstaffe a word with you Fal. My good Lord giue your Lordship good time of the day I am glad to see your Lordship abroad I heard say your Lordship was sicke I hope your Lordship goes abroad by aduise Your Lordship though not clean past your youth hath yet some smack of age in you some rellish of the saltnesse of Time and I most humbly beseech your Lordship to haue a reuerend care of your health Iust Sir Iohn I sent you before your Expedition to Shrewsburie Fal. If it please your Lordship I heare his Maiestie is return'd with some discomfort from Wales Iust I talke not of his Maiesty you would not come when I sent for you Fal. And I heare moreouer his Highnesse is falne into this same whorson Apoplexie Iust Well heauen mend him I pray let me speak with you Fal. This Apoplexie is as I take it a kind of Lethargie a sleeping of the blood a horson Tingling Iust What tell you me of it be it as it is Fal. It hath it originall from much greefe from study and perturbation of the braine I haue read the cause of his effects in Galen It is a kinde of deafenesse Iust I thinke you are falne into the disease For you heare not what I say to you Fal. Very well my Lord very well rather an 't please you it is the disease of not Listning the malady of not Marking that I am troubled withall Iust To punish you by the heeles would amend the attention of your eares I care not if I be your Physitian Fal. I am as poore as Iob my Lord but not so Patient your Lordship may minister the Potion of imprisonment to me in respect of Pouertie but how I should bee your Patient to follow your prescriptions the wise may make some dram of a scruple or indeede a scruple it selfe Iust I sent for you when there were matters against you for your life to come speake with me Fal. As I was then aduised by my learned Councel in the lawes of this Land-seruice I did not come Iust Wel the truth is sir Iohn you liue in great infamy Fal. He that buckles him in my belt cānot liue in lesse Iust Your Meanes is very slender and your wast great Fal. I would it were otherwise I would my Meanes were greater and my waste slenderer Iust You haue misled the youthfull Prince Fal. The yong Prince hath misled mee I am the Fellow with the great belly and he my Dogge Iust Well I am loth to gall a new-heal'd wound your daies seruice at Shrewsbury hath a little gilded ouer your Nights exploit on Gads-hill You may thanke the vnquiet time for your quiet o're-posting that Action Fal. My Lord Iust But since all is wel keep it so wake not a sleeping Wolfe Fal. To wake a Wolfe is as bad as to smell a Fox Iu. What you are as a candle the better part burnt out Fal. A Wassell-Candle my Lord all Tallow if I did say of wax my growth would approue the truth Iust There is not a white haire on your face but shold haue his effect of grauity Fal. His effect of
soule and she sayes vp downe the town that her eldest son is like you She hath bin in good case the truth is pouerty hath distracted her but for these foolish Officers I beseech you I may haue redresse against them Iust Sir Iohn sir Iohn I am well acquainted with your maner of wrenching the true cause the false way It is not a confident brow nor the throng of wordes that come with such more then impudent sawcines from you can thrust me from a leuell consideration I know you ha' practis'd vpon the easie-yeelding spirit of this woman Host Yes in troth my Lord. Iust Prethee peace pay her the debt you owe her and vnpay the villany you haue done her the one you may do with sterling mony the other with currant repentance Fal. My Lord I will not vndergo this sneape without reply You call honorable Boldnes impudent Sawcinesse If a man wil curt'sie and say nothing he is vertuous No my Lord your humble duty remeÌ„bred I will not be your sutor I say to you I desire deliu'rance from these Officers being vpon hasty employment in the Kings Affaires Iust You speake as hauing power to do wrong But answer in the effect of your Reputation and satisfie the poore woman Falst Come hither Hostesse Enter M. Gower Ch. Iust Now Master Gower What newes Gow The King my Lord and Henrie Prince of Wales Are neere at hand The rest the Paper telles Falst As I am a Gentleman Host Nay you said so before Fal. As I am a Gentleman Come no more words of it Host By this Heauenly ground I tread on I must be faine to pawne both my Plate and the Tapistry of my dyning Chambers Fal. Glasses glasses is the onely drinking and for thy walles a pretty slight Drollery or the Storie of the Prodigall or the Germane hunting in Waterworke is worth a thousand of these Bed-hangings and these Fly-bitten Tapistries Let it be tenne pound if thou canst Come if it were not for thy humors there is not a better Wench in England Go wash thy face and draw thy Action Come thou must not bee in this humour with me come I know thou was 't set on to this Host Prethee Sir Iohn let it be but twenty Nobles I loath to pawne my Plate in good earnest la. Fal. Let it alone I le make other shift you 'l be a fool still Host Well you shall haue it although I pawne my Gowne I hope you 'l come to Supper You 'l pay me altogether Fal. Will I liue Go with her with her hooke-on hooke-on Host Will you haue Doll Teare-sheet meet you at supper Fal. No more words Let 's haue her Ch. Iust. I haue heard bitter newes Fal What 's the newes my good Lord Ch. Iu. Where lay the King last night Mes At Basingstoke my Lord. Fal. I hope my Lord all 's well What is the newes my Lord Ch Iust Come all his Forces backe Mes No Fifteene hundred Foot fiue hundred Horse Are march'd vp to my Lord of Lancaster Against Northumberland and the Archbishop Fal. Comes the King backe from Wales my noble L Ch. Iust You shall haue Letteâ—s of me presently Come go along with me good M. Gowre Fal. My Lord. Ch. Iust What 's the matter Fal. Master Gowre shall I entreate you with mee to dinner Gow I must waite vpon my good Lord heere I thanke you good Sir Iohn Ch. Iust Sir Iohn you loyter heere too long being you are to take Souldiers vp in Countries as you go Fal. Will you sup with me Master Gowre Ch. Iust What foolish Master taught you these manners Sir Iohn Fal. Master Gower if they become mee not hee was a Foole that taught them mee This is the right Fencing grace my Lord tap for tap and so part faire Ch. Iust Now the Lord lighten thee thou art a great Foole. Exeunt Scena Secunda Enter Prince Henry Pointz Bardolfe and Page Prin. Trust me I am exceeding weary Poin. Is it come to that I had thought wearines durst not haue attach'd one of so high blood Prin. It doth me though it discolours the complexion of my Greatnesse to acknowledge it Doth it not shew vildely in me to desire small Beere Poin. Why a Prince should not be so loosely studied as to remember so weake a Composition Prince Belike then my Appetite was not Princely got for in troth I do now remember the poore Creature Small Beere But indeede these humble considerations make me out of loue with my Greatnesse What a disgrace is it to me to remember thy name Or to know thy face to morrow Or to take note how many paire of Silk stockings y u hast Viz. these and those that were thy peach-colour'd ones Or to beare the Inuentorie of thy shirts as one for superfluity and one other for vse But that the Tennis-Court-keeper knowes better then I for it is a low ebbe of Linnen with thee when thou kept'st not Racket there as thou hast not done a great while because the rest of thy Low Countries haue made a shift to eate vp thy Holland Poin. How ill it followes after you haue labour'd so hard you should talke so idlely Tell me how many good yong Princes would do so their Fathers lying so sicke as yours is Prin. Shall I tell thee one thing Pointz Poin. Yes and let it be an excellent good thing Prin. It shall serue among wittes of no higher breeding then thine Poin. Go to I stand the push of your one thing that you 'l tell Prin. Why I tell thee it is not meer that I should be sad now my Father is sicke albeit I could tell to thee as to one it pleases me for fault of a better to call my friend I could be sad and sad indeed too Poin Very hardly vpon such a subiect Prin. Thou think'st me as farre in the Diuels Booke as thou and Falstaffe for obduracie and persistencie Let the end try the man But I tell thee my hart bleeds inwardly that my Father is so sicke and keeping such vild company as thou art hath in reason taken from me all ostentation of sorrow Poin. The reason Prin. What would'st thou think of me if I shold weep Poin. I would thinke thee a most Princely hypocrite Prin. It would be euery mans thought and thou art a blessed Fellow to thinke as euery man thinkes neuer a mans thought in the world keepes the Rode-way better then thine euery man would thinke me an Hypocrite indeeâ—e And what accites your most worshipful thought to thinke so Poin. Why because you haue beene so lewde and so much ingraffed to Falstaffe Prin. And to thee Pointz Nay I am well spoken of I can heare it with mine owne eares the worst that they can say of me is that I am a second Brother and that I am a proper Fellowe of my hands and those two things I confesse I canot helpe Looke looke here comes Bardolfe Prince And the Boy that I gaue
Commons Haue of their Puissance made a little taste Lady If they get ground and vantage of the King Then ioyne you with them like a Ribbe of Steele To make Strength stronger But for all our loues First let them trye themselues So did your Sonne He was so suffer'd so came I a Widow And neuer shall haue length of Life enough To raine vpon Remembrance with mine Eyes That it may grow and sprowt as high as Heauen For Recordation to my Noble Husband North. Come come go in with me 't is with my Minde As with the Tyde swell'd vp vnto his height That makes a still-stand running neyther way Faine would I goe to meet the Arch-bishop But many thousand Reasons hold me backe I will resolue for Scotland there am I Till Time and Vantage craue my company Exeunt Scaena Quarta Enter two Drawers 1. Drawer What hast thou brought there Apple-Iohns Thou know'st Sir Iohn cannot endure an Apple-Iohn 2. Draw Thou say'st true the Prince once set a Dish of Apple-Iohns before him and told him there were fiue more Sir Iohns and putting off his Hat said I will now take my leaue of these sixe drie round old-wither'd Knights It anger'd him to the heart but hee hath forgot that 1. Draw Why then couer and set them downe and see if thou canst finde out Sneakes Noyse Mistris Teare-sheet would faine haue some Musique 2. Draw Sirrha heere will be the Prince and Master Points anon and they will put on two of our Ierkins and Aprons and Sir Iohn must not know of it Bardolph hath brought word 1. Draw Then here will be old Vtis it will be an excellent stratagem 2. Draw I le see if I can finde out Sneake Exit Enter Hostesse and Dol. Host Sweet-heart me thinkes now you are in an excellent good temperalitie your Pulsidge beates as extraordinarily as heart would desire and your Colour I warrant you is as red as any Rose But you haue drunke too much Canaries and that 's a maruellous searching Wine and it perfumes the blood ere wee can say what 's this How doe you now Dol. Better then I was Hem. Host Why that was well said A good heart's worth Gold Looke here comes Sir Iohn Enter Falstaffe Falst When Arthur first in Court emptie the Iordan and was a worthy King How now Mistris Dol Host. Sick of a Calme yea good-sooth Falst. So is all her Sect if they be once in a Calme they are sick Dol. You muddie Rascall is that all the comfort you giue me Falst You make fat Rascalls Mistris Dol. Dol. I make them Gluttonie and Diseases make them I make them not Falst If the Cooke make the Gluttonie you helpe to make the Diseases Dol we catch of you Dol we catch of you Grant that my poore Vertue grant that Dol. I marry our Chaynes and our Iewels Falst Your Brooches Pearles and Owches For to serue brauely is to come halting off you know to come off the Breach with his Pike bent brauely and to Surgerie brauely to venture vpon the charg'd-Chambers brauely Host Why this is the olde fashion you two neuer meete but you fall to some discord you are both in good troth as Rheumatike as two drie Tostes you cannot one beare with anothers Confirmities What the good-yere One must beare and that must bee you you are the weaker Vessell as they say the emptier Vessell Dol. Can a weake emptie Vessell beare such a huge full Hogs-head There 's a whole Marchants Venture of Burdeux-Stuffe in him you haue not seene a Hulke better stufft in the Hold. Come I le be friends with thee Iacke Thou art going to the Warres and whether I shall euer see thee againe or no there is no body cares Enter Drawer Drawer Sir Ancient Pistoll is below and would speake with you Dol. Hang him swaggering Rascall let him not come hither it is the foule-mouth'dst Rogue in England Host If hee swagger let him not come here I must liue amongst my Neighbors I le no Swaggerers I am in good name and fame with the very best shut the doore there comes no Swaggerers heere I haue not liu'd all this while to haue swaggering now shut the doore I pray you Falst. Do'st thou heare Hostesse Host 'Pray you pacifie your selfe Sir Iohn there comes no Swaggerers heere Falst. Do'st thou heare it is mine Ancient Host. Tilly-fally Sir Iohn neuer tell me your ancient Swaggerer comes not in my doores I was before Master Tisick the Deputie the other day and as hee said to me it was no longer agoe then Wednesday last Neighbour Quickly sayes hee Master Dombe our Minister was by then Neighbour Quickly sayes hee receiue those that are Ciuill for sayth hee you are in an ill Name now hee said so I can tell whereupon for sayes hee you are an honest Woman and well thought on therefore take heede what Guests you receiue Receiue sayes hee no swaggering Companions There comes none heere You would blesse you to heare what hee said No I le no Swaggerers Falst Hee 's no Swaggerer Hostesse a tame Cheater hee you may stroake him as gently as a Puppie Greyhound hee will not swagger with a Barbarie Henne if her feathers turne backe in any shew of resistance Call him vp Drawer Host Cheater call you him I will barre no honest man my house nor no Cheater but I doe not loue swaggering I am the worse when one sayes swagger Feele Masters how I shake looke you I warrant you Dol. So you doe Hostesse Host Doe I yea in very truth doe I if it were an Aspen Leafe I cannot abide Swaggerers Enter Pistol and Bardolph and his Boy Pist ' Saue you Sir Iohn Falst Welcome Ancient Pistol Here Pistol I charge you with a Cup of Sacke doe you discharge vpon mine Hostesse Pist I will discharge vpon her Sir Iohn with two Bullets Falst She is Pistoll-proofe Sir you shall hardly offend her Host Come I le drinke no Proofes nor no Bullets I will drinke no more then will doe me good for no mans pleasure I. Pist Then to you Mistris Dorothie I will charge you Dol. Charge me I scorne you scuruie Companion what you poore base rascally cheating lacke-Linnen-Mate away you mouldie Rogue away I am meat for your Master Pist I know you Mistris Dorothie Dol. Away you Cut-purse Rascall you filthy Bung away By this Wine I le thrust my Knife in your mouldie Chappes if you play the sawcie Cuttle with me Away you Bottle-Ale Rascall you Basket-hilt stale Iugler you Since when I pray you Sir what with two Points on your shoulder much Pist I will murther your Ruffe for this Host No good Captaine Pistol not heere sweete Captaine Dol. Captaine thou abhominable damn'd Cheater art thou not asham'd to be call'd Captaine If Captaines were of my minde they would trunchion you out for taking their Names vpon you before you haue earn'd them You a Captaine you slaue for what for tearing a poore Whores Ruffe in a Bawdy-house Hee a
Amitie War There is a Historie in all mens Liues Figuring the nature of the Times deceas'd The which obseru'd a man may prophecie With a neere ayme of the maine chance of things As yet not come to Life which in their Seedes And weake beginnings lye entreasured Such things become the Hatch and Brood of Time And by the necessarie forme of this King Richard might create a perfect guesse That great Northumberland then false to him Would of that Seed grow to a greater falsenesse Which should not finde a ground to roote vpon Vnlesse on you King Are these things then Necessities Then let vs meete them like Necessities And that same word euen now cryes out on vs They say the Bishop and Northumberland Are fiftie thousand strong War It cannot be my Lord Rumor doth double like the Voice and Eccho The numbers of the feared Please it your Grace To goe to bed vpon my Life my Lord The Pow'rs that you alreadie haue sent forth Shall bring this Prize in very easily To comfort you the more I haue receiu'd A certaine instance that Glendour is dead Your Maiestie hath beene this fort-night ill And these vnseason'd howres perforce must adde Vnto your Sicknesse King I will take your counsaile And were these inward Warres once out of hand Wee would deare Lords vnto the Holy-Land Exeunt Scena Secunda Enter Shallow and Silence with Mouldie Shadow Wart Feeble Bull-calfe Shal. Come-on come-on come-on giue mee your Hand Sir giue mee your Hand Sir an early stirrer by the Rood And how doth my good Cousin Silence Sil. Good-morrow good Cousin Shallow Shal. And how doth my Cousin your Bed-fellow and your fairest Daughter and mine my God-Daughter Ellen Sil. Alas a blacke Ouzell Cousin Shallow Shal. By yea and nay Sir I dare say my Cousin William is become a good Scholler hee is at Oxford still is hee not Sil. Indeede Sir to my cost Shal. Hee must then to the Innes of Court shortly I was once of Clements Inne where I thinke they will talke of mad Shallow yet Sil. You were call'd lustie Shallow then Cousin Shal. I was call'd any thing and I would haue done any thing indeede too and roundly too There was I and little Iohn Doit of Staffordshire and blacke George Bare and Francis Pick-bone and Will Squele a Cot-sal-man you had not foure such Swindge-bucklers in all the Innes of Court againe And I may say to you wee knew where the Bona-Roba's were and had the best of them all at commandement Then was Iacke Falstaffe now Sir Iohn a Boy and Page to Thomas Mowbray Duke of Norfolke Sil. This Sir Iohn Cousin that comes hither anon about Souldiers Shal. The same Sir Iohn the very same I saw him breake Scoggan's Head at the Court-Gate when hee was a Crack not thus high and the very same day did I fight with one Sampson Stock-fish a Fruiterer behinde Greyes-Inne Oh the mad dayes that I haue spent and to see how many of mine olde Acquaintance are dead Sil. Wee shall all follow Cousin Shal. Certaine 't is certaine very sure very sure Death is certaine to all all shall dye How a good Yoke of Bullocks at Stamford Fayre Sil. Truly Cousin I was not there Shal. Death is certaine Is old Double of your Towne liuing yet Sil. Dead Sir Shal. Dead See see hee drew a good Bow and dead hee shot a fine shoote Iohn of Gaunt loued him well and betted much Money on his head Dead hee would haue clapt in the Clowt at Twelue-score and carryed you a fore-hand Shaft at foureteene and foureteene and a halfe that it would haue done a mans heart good to see How a score of Ewes now Sil. Thereafter as they be a score of good Ewes may be worth tenne pounds Shal. And is olde Double dead Enter Bardolph and his Boy Sil. Heere come two of Sir Iohn Falstaffes Men as I thinke Shal. Good-morrow honest Gentlemen Bard. I beseech you which is Iustice Shallow Shal. I am Robert Shallow Sir a poore Esquire of this Countie and one of the Kings Iustices of the Peace What is your good pleasure with me Bard. My Captaine Sir commends him to you my Captaine Sir Iohn Falstaffe a tall Gentleman and a most gallant Leader Shal. Hee greetes me well Sir I knew him a good Back-Sword-man How doth the good Knight may I aske how my Lady his Wife doth Bard. Sir pardon a Souldier is better accommodated then with a Wife Shal. It is well said Sir and it is well said indeede too Better accommodated it is good yea indeede is it good phrases are surely and euery where very commendable Accommodated it comes of Accommodo very good a good Phrase Bard. Pardon Sir I haue heard the word Phrase call you it by this Day I know not the Phrase but I will maintaine the Word with my Sword to bee a Souldier-like Word and a Word of exceeding good Command Accommodated that is when a man is as they say accommodated or when a man is being whereby he thought to be accommodated which is an excellent thing Enter Falstaffe Shal. It is very iust Looke heere comes good Sir Iohn Giue me your hand giue me your Worships good hand Trust me you looke well and beare your yeares very well Welcome good Sir Iohn Fal. I am glad to see you well good M. Robert Shallow Master Sure-card as I thinke Shal. No sir Iohn it is my Cosin Silence in Commission with mee Fal. Good M. Silence it well befits you should be of the peace Sil. Your good Worship is welcome Fal. Fye this is hot weather Gentlemen haue you prouided me heere halfe a dozen of sufficient men Shal. Marry haue we sir Will you sit Fal. Let me see them I beseech you Shal. Where 's the Roll Where 's the Roll Where 's the Roll Let me see let me see let me see so so so so yea marry Sir Raphe Mouldie let them appeare as I call let them do so let them do so Let mee see Where is Mouldie Moul. Heere if it please you Shal. What thinke you Sir Iohn a good limb'd fellow yong strong and of good friends Fal. Is thy name Mouldie Moul. Yea if it please you Fal. 'T is the more time thou wert vs'd Shal. Ha ha ha most excellent Things that are mouldie lacke vse very singular good Well saide Sir Iohn very well said Fal. Pricke him Moul. I was prickt well enough before if you could haue let me alone my old Dame will be vndone now for one to doe her Husbandry and her Drudgery you need not to haue prickt me there are other men fitter to goe out then I. Fal. Go too peace Mouldie you shall goe Mouldie it is time you were spent Moul. Spent Shallow Peace fellow peace stand aside Know you where you are For the other sir Iohn Let me see Simon Shadow Fal. I marry let me haue him to sit vnder he 's like to be a cold souldier Shal. Where 's Shadow Shad. Heere sir
Fal. Shadow whose sonne art thou Shad. My Mothers sonne Sir Falst Thy Mothers sonne like enough and thy Fathers shadow so the sonne of the Female is the shadow of the Male it is often so indeede but not of the Fathers substance Shal. Do you like him sir Iohn Falst Shadow will serue for Summer pricke him For wee haue a number of shadowes to fill vppe the Muster-Booke Shal. Thomas Wart Falst Where 's he Wart Heere sir Falst Is thy name Wart Wart Yea sir Fal. Thou art a very ragged Wart Shal. Shall I pricke him downe Sir Iohn Falst It were superfluous for his apparrel is built vpon his backe and the whole frame stands vpon pins prick him no more Shal. Ha ha ha you can do it sir you can doe it I commend you well Francis Feeble Feeble Heere sir Shal. What Trade art thou Feeble Feeble A Womans Taylor sir Shal. Shall I pricke him sir Fal. You may But if he had beene a mans Taylor he would haue prick'd you Wilt thou make as many holes in an enemies Battaile as thou hast done in a Womans petticote Feeble I will doe my good will sir you can haue no more Falst Well said good Womans Tailour Well sayde Couragious Feeble thou wilt bee as valiant as the wrathfull Doue or most magnanimous Mouse Pricke the womans Taylour well Master Shallow deepe Maister Shallow Feeble I would Wart might haue gone sir Fal. I would thou wert a mans Tailor that y u might'st mend him and make him fit to goe I cannot put him to a priuate souldier that is the Leader of so many thousands Let that suffice most Forcible Feeble Feeble It shall suffice Falst I am bound to thee reuerend Feeble Who is the next Shal. Peter Bulcalfe of the Greene. Falst Yea marry let vs see Bulcalfe Bul. Heere sir Fal. Trust me a likely Fellow Come pricke me Bulcalfe till he roare againe Bul. Oh good my Lord Captaine Fal. What do'st thou roare before th' art prickt Bul. Oh sir I am a diseased man Fal. What disease hast thou Bul. A whorson cold sir a cough sir which I caught with Ringing in the Kings affayres vpon his Coronation day sir Fal. Come thou shalt go to the Warres in a Gowne we will haue away thy Cold and I will take such order that thy friends shall ring for thee Is heere all Shal. There is two more called then your number you must haue but foure heere sir and so I pray you go in with me to dinner Fal. Come I will goe drinke with you but I cannot tarry dinner I am glad to see you in good troth Master Shallow Shal. O sir Iohn doe you remember since wee lay all night in the Winde-mill in S Georges Field Falstaffe No more of that good Master Shallow No more of that Shal. Ha it was a merry night And is Iane Night-worke aliue Fal. She liues M. Shallow Shal. She neuer could away with me Fal. Neuer neuer she would alwayes say shee could not abide M. Shallow Shal. I could anger her to the heart shee was then a Bona-Roba Doth she hold her owne well Fal. Old old M. Shallow Shal. Nay she must be old she cannot choose but be old certaine shee 's old and had Robin Night-worke by old Night-worke before I came to Clements Inne Sil. That 's fiftie fiue yeeres agoe Shal. Hah Cousin Silence that thou hadst seene that that this Knight and I haue seene hah Sir Iohn said I well Falst Wee haue heard the Chymes at mid-night Master Shallow Shal. That wee haue that wee haue in faith Sir Iohn wee haue our watch-word was Hem-Boyes Come let 's to Dinner come let 's to Dinner Oh the dayes that wee haue seene Come come Bul. Good Master Corporate Bardolph stand my friend and heere is foure Harry tenne shillings in French Crownes for you in very truth sir I had as lief be hang'd sir as goe and yet for mine owne part sir I do not care but rather because I am vnwilling and for mine owne part haue a desire to stay with my friends else sir I did not care for mine owne part so much Bard. Go-too stand aside Mould And good Master Corporall Captaine for my old Dames sake stand my friend shee hath no body to doe any thing about her when I am gone and she is old and cannot helpe her selfe you shall haue fortie sir Bard. Go-too stand aside Feeble I care not a man can die but once wee owe a death I will neuer beare a base minde if it be my destinie so if it be not so no man is too good to serue his Prince and let it goe which way it will he that dies this yeere is quit for the next Bard. Well said thou art a good fellow Feeble Nay I will beare no base minde Falst Come sir which men shall I haue Shal. Foure of which you please Bard. Sir a word with you I haue three pound to free Mouldie and Bull-calfe Falst Go-too well Shal. Come sir Iohn which foure will you haue Falst Doe you chuse for me Shal. Marry then Mouldie Bull-calfe Feeble and Shadow Falst Mouldie and Bull-calfe for you Mouldie stay at home till you are past seruice and for your part Bull-calfe grow till you come vnto it I will none of you Shal. Sir Iohn Sir Iohn doe not your selfe wrong they are your likelyest men and I would haue you seru'd with the best Falst Will you tell me Master Shallow how to chuse a man Care I for the Limbe the Thewes the stature bulke and bigge assemblance of a man giue mee the spirit Master Shallow Where 's Wart you see what a ragged appearance it is hee shall charge you and discharge you with the motion of a Pewterers Hammer come off and on swifter then hee that gibbets on the Brewers Bucket And this same halfe-fac'd fellow Shadow giue me this man hee presents no marke to the Enemie the foe-man may with as great ayme leuell at the edge of a Pen-knife and for a Retrait how swiftly will this Feeble the Womans Taylor runne off O giue me the spare men and spare me the great ones Put me a Calyuer into Warts hand Bardolph Bard. Hold Wart Trauerse thus thus thus Falst Come manage me your Calyuer so very well go-too very good exceeding good O giue me alwayes a little leane old chopt bald Shot Well said Wart thou art a good Scab hold there is a Tester for thee Shal. Hee is not his Crafts-master hee doth not doe it right I remember at Mile-end-Greene when I lay at Clements Inne I was then Sir Dagonet in Arthurs Show there was a little quiuer fellow and hee would manage you his Peece thus and hee would about and about and come you in and come you in Rah tah tah would hee say Bownce would hee say and away againe would hee goe and againe would he come I shall neuer see such a fellow Falst These fellowes will doe well Master Shallow Farewell Master Silence I will not
vse many wordes with you fare you well Gentlemen both I thanke you I must a dozen mile to night Bardolph giue the Souldiers Coates Shal. Sir Iohn Heauen blesse you and prosper your Affaires and send vs Peace As you returne visit my house Let our old acquaintance be renewed peraduenture I will with you to the Court. Falst I would you would Master Shallow Shal. Go-too I haue spoke at a word Fare you well Exit Falst Fare you well gentle Gentlemen On Bardolph leade the men away As I returne I will fetch off these Iustices I doe see the bottome of Iustice Shallow How subiect wee old men are to this vice of Lying This same staru'd Iustice hath done nothing but prate to me of the wildenesse of his Youth and the Feates hee hath done about Turnball-street and euery third word a Lye duer pay'd to the hearer then the Turkes Tribute I doe remember him at Clements Inne like a man made after Supper of a Cheese-paring When hee was naked hee was for all the world like a forked Radish with a Head fantastically caru'd vpon it with a Knife Hee was so forlorne that his Dimensions to any thicke sight were inuincible Hee was the very Genius of Famine hee came euer in the rere-ward of the Fashion And now is this Vices Dagger become a Squire and talkes as familiarly of Iohn of Gaunt as if hee had beene sworne Brother to him and I le be sworne hee neuer saw him but once in the Tilt-yard and then he burst his Head for crowding among the Marshals men I saw it and told Iohn of Gaunt hee beat his owne Name for you might haue truss'd him and all his Apparrell into an Eele-skinne the Case of a Treble Hoe-boy was a Mansion for him a Court and now hath hee Land and Beeues Well I will be acquainted with him if I returne and it shall goe hard but I will make him a Philosophers two Stones to me If the young Dace be a Bayt for the old Pike I see no reason in the Law of Nature but I may snap at him Let time shape and there an end Exeunt Actus Quartus Scena Prima Enter the Arch-bishop Mowbray Hastings Westmerland Coleuile Bish What is this Forrest call'd Hast 'T is Gualtree Forrest and 't shall please your Grace Bish Here stand my Lords and send discouerers forth To know the numbers of our Enemies Hast. Wee haue sent forth alreadie Bish 'T is well done My Friends and Brethren in these great Affaires I must acquaint you that I haue receiu'd New-dated Letters from Northumberland Their cold intent tenure and substance thus Here doth hee wish his Person with such Powers As might hold sortance with his Qualitie The which hee could not leuie whereupon Hee is retyr'd to ripe his growing Fortunes To Scotland and concludes in heartie prayers That your Attempts may ouer-liue the hazard And fearefull meeting of their Opposite Mow. Thus do the hopes we haue in him touch ground And dash themselues to pieces Enter a Messenger Hast Now what newes Mess West of this Forrest scarcely off a mile In goodly forme comes on the Enemie And by the ground they hide I iudge their number Vpon or neere the rate of thirtie thousand Mow. The iust proportion that we gaue them out Let vs sway-on and face them in the field Enter Westmerland Bish What well-appointed Leader fronts vs here Mow. I thinke it is my Lord of Westmerland West Health and faire greeting from our Generall The Prince Lord Iohn and Duke of Lancaster Bish Say on my Lord of Westmerland in peace What doth concerne your comming West Then my Lord Vnto your Grace doe I in chiefe addresse The substance of my Speech If that Rebellion Came like it selfe in base and abiect Routs Led on by bloodie Youth guarded with Rage And countenanc'd by Boyes and Beggerie I say if damn'd Commotion so appeare In his true natiue and most proper shape You Reuerend Father and these Noble Lords Had not beene here to dresse the ougly forme Of base and bloodie Insurrection With your faire Honors You Lord Arch-bishop Whose Sea is by a Ciuill Peace maintain'd Whose Beard the Siluer Hand of Peace hath touch'd Whose Learning and good Letters Peace hath tutor'd Whose white Inuestments figure Innocence The Doue and very blessed Spirit of Peace Wherefore doe you so ill translate your selfe Out of the Speech of Peace that beares such grace Into the harsh and boystrous Tongue of Warre Turning your Bookes to Graues your Inke to Blood Your Pennes to Launces and your Tongue diuine To a lowd Trumpet and a Point of Warre Bish Wherefore doe I this so the Question stands Briefely to this end Wee are all diseas'd And with our surfetting and wanton howres Haue brought our selues into a burning Feuer And wee must bleede for it of which Disease Our late King Richard being infected dy'd But my most Noble Lord of Westmerland I take not on me here as a Physician Nor doe I as an Enemie to Peace Troope in the Throngs of Militarie men But rather shew a while like fearefull Warre To dyet ranke Mindes sicke of happinesse And purge th' obstructions which begin to stop Our very Veines of Life heare me more plainely I haue in equall ballance iustly weigh'd What wrongs our Arms may do what wrongs we suffer And finde our Griefes heauier then our Offences Wee see which way the streame of Time doth runne And are enforc'd from our most quiet there By the rough Torrent of Occasion And haue the summarie of all our Griefes When time shall serue to shew in Articles Which long ere this wee offer'd to the King And might by no Suit gayne our Audience When wee are wrong'd and would vnfold our Griefes Wee are deny'd accesse vnto his Person Euen by those men that most haue done vs wrong The dangers of the dayes but newly gone Whose memorie is written on the Earth With yet appearing blood and the examples Of euery Minutes instance present now Hath put vs in these ill-beseeming Armes Not to breake Peace or any Branch of it But to establish here a Peace indeede Concurring both in Name and Qualitie West When euer yet was your Appeale deny'd Wherein haue you beene galled by the King What Peere hath beene suborn'd to grate on you That you should seale this lawlesse bloody Booke Of forg'd Rebellion with a Seale diuine Bish My Brother generall the Common-wealth I make my Quarrell in particular West There is no neede of any such redresse Or if there were it not belongs to you Mow. Why not to him in part and to vs all That feele the bruizes of the dayes before And suffer the Condition of these Times To lay a heauie and vnequall Hand vpon our Honors West O my good Lord Mowbray Construe the Times to their Necessities And you shall say indeede it is the Time And not the King that doth you iniuries Yet for your part it not appeares to me Either from the King
me many yeares I should not dye but in Ierusalem Which vainly I suppos'd the Holy-Land But beare me to that Chamber there I le lye In that Ierusalem shall Harry dye Exeunt Actus Quintus Scoena Prima Enter Shallow Silence Falstaffe Bardolfe Page and Dauie Shal. By Cocke and Pye you shall not away to night What Dauy I say Fal. You must excuse me M. Robert Shallow Shal. I will not excuse you you shall not be excused Excuses shall not be admitted there is no excuse shall serue you shall not be excus'd Why Dauie Dauie Heere sir Shal. Dauy Dauy Dauy let me see Dauy let me see William Cooke bid him come hither Sir Iohn you shal not be excus'd Dauy. Marry sir thus those Precepts cannot bee seru'd and againe sir shall we sowe the head-land with Wheate Shal. With red Wheate Dauy. But for William Cook are there no yong Pigeons Dauy. Yes Sir Heere is now the Smithes note for Shooing And Plough-Irons Shal. Let it be cast and payde Sir Iohn you shall not be excus'd Dauy. Sir a new linke to the Bucket must needes bee had And Sir doe you meane to stoppe any of Williams Wages about the Sacke he lost the other day at Hinckley Fayre Shal. He shall answer it Some Pigeons Dauy a couple of short-legg'd Hennes a ioynt of Mutton and any pretty little tine Kickshawes tell William Cooke Dauy. Doth the man of Warre stay all night sir Shal. Yes Dauy I will vse him well A Friend i' th Court is better then a penny in purse Vse his men well Dauy for they are arrant Knaues and will backe-bite Dauy. No worse then they are bitten sir For they haue maruellous fowle linnen Shallow Well conceited Dauy about thy Businesse Dauy. Dauy. I beseech you sir To countenance William Visor of Woncot against Clement Perkes of the hill Shal. There are many Complaints Dauy against that Visor that Visor is an arrant Knaue on my knowledge Dauy. I graunt your Worship that he is a knaue Sir But yet heauen forbid Sir but a Knaue should haue some Countenance at his Friends request An honest man sir is able to speake for himselfe when a Knaue is not I haue seru'd your Worshippe truely sir these eight yeares and if I cannot once or twice in a Quarter beare out a knaue against an honest man I haue but a very litle credite with your Worshippe The Knaue is mine honest Friend Sir therefore I beseech your Worship let him bee Countenanc'd Shal. Go too I say he shall haue no wrong Looke about Dauy. Where are you Sir Iohn Come off with your Boots Giue me your hand M. Bardolfe Bard. I am glad to see your Worship Shal. I thanke thee with all my heart kinde Master Bardolfe and welcome my tall Fellow Come Sir Iohn Falstaffe I le follow you good Master Robert Shallow Bardolfe looke to our Horsses If I were saw'de into Quantities I should make foure dozen of such bearded Hermites staues as Master Shallow It is a wonderfull thing to see the semblable Cohetence of his mens spirits and his They by obseruing of him do beare themselues like foolish Iustices Hee by conuersing with them is turn'd into a Iustice-like Seruingman Their spirits are so married in Coniunction with the participation of Society that they flocke together in consent like so many Wilde-Geese If I had a suite to Mayster Shallow I would humour his men with the imputation of beeing neere their Mayster If to his Men I would currie with Maister Shallow that no man could better command his Seruants It is certaine that either wise bearing or ignorant Carriage is caught as men take diseases one of another therefore let men take heede of their Companie I will deuise matter enough out of this Shallow to keepe Prince Harry in continuall Laughter the wearing out of sixe Fashions which is foure Tearmes or two Actions and he shall laugh with Interuallums O it is much that a Lye with a flight Oath and a iest with â— sadde brow will doe with a Fellow that neuer had the Ache in his shoulders O you shall see him laugh till his Face be like a wet Cloake ill laid vp Shal. Sir Iohn Falst I come Master Shallow I come Master Shallow Exeunt Scena Secunda Enter the Earle of Warwicke and the Lord Chiefe Iustice Warwicke How now my Lord Chiefe Iustice whether away Ch. Iust How doth the King Warw. Exceeding well his Cares Are now all ended Ch. Iust I hope not dead Warw. Hee 's walk'd the way of Nature And to our purposes he liues no more Ch. Iust I would his Maiesty had call'd me with him The seruice that I truly did his life Hath left me open to all iniuries War Indeed I thinke the yong King loues you not Ch. Iust I know he doth not and do arme my selfe To welcome the condition of the Time Which cannot looke more hideously vpon me Then I haue drawne it in my fantasie Enter Iohn of Lancaster Gloucester and Clarence War Heere come the heauy Issue of dead Harrie O that the liuing Harrie had the temper Of him the worst of these three Gentlemen How many Nobles then should hold their places That must strike saile to Spirits of vilde sort Ch. Iust Alas I feare all will be ouer-turn'd Iohn Good morrow Cosin Warwick good morrow Glou. Cla. Good morrow Cosin Iohn We meet like men that had forgot to speake War We do remember but our Argument Is all too heauy to admit much talke Ioh. Well Peace be with him that hath made vs heauy Ch. Iust Peace be with vs least we be heauier Glou. O good my Lord you haue lost a friend indeed And I dare sweare you borrow not that face Of seeming sorrow it is sure your owne Iohn Though no man be assur'd what grace to finde You stand in coldest expectation I am the sorrier would 't were otherwise Cla. Wel you must now speake Sir Iohn Falstaffe faire Which swimmes against your streame of Quality Ch. Iust Sweet Princes what I did I did in Honor Led by th' Imperiall Conduct of my Soule And neuer shall you see that I will begge A ragged and fore-stall'd Remission If Troth and vpright Innocency fayle me I le to the King my Master that is dead And tell him who hath sent me after him War Heere comes the Prince Enter Prince Henrie Ch. Iust Good morrow and heauen saue your Maiesty Prince This new and gorgeous Garment Maiesty Sits not so easie on me as you thinke Brothers you mixe your Sadnesse with some Feare This is the English not the Turkish Court Not Amurah an Amurah succeeds But Harry Harry Yet be sad good Brothers For to speake truth it very well becomes you Sorrow so Royally in you appeares That I will deeply put the Fashion on And weare it in my heart Why then be sad But entertaine no more of it good Brothers Then a ioynt burthen laid vpon vs all For me by Heauen I bid you be
Thomas Louell what 's the matter It seemes you are in hast and if there be No great offence belongs too 't giue your Friend Some touch of your late businesse Affaires that walke As they say Spirits do at midnight haue In them a wilder Nature then the businesse That seekes dispatch by day Lou. My Lord I loue you And durst commend a secret to your eare Much waightier then this worke The Queens in Labor They say in great Extremity and fear'd Shee 'l with the Labour end Gard. The fruite she goes with I pray for heartily that it may finde Good time and liue but for the Stocke Sir Thomas I wish it grubb'd vp now Lou. Me thinkes I could Cry the Amen and yet my Conscience sayes Shee 's a good Creature and sweet-Ladie do's Deserue our better wishes Gard. But Sir Sir Heare me Sir Thomas y' are a Gentleman Of mine owne way I know you Wise Religious And let me tell you it will ne're be well 'T will not Sir Thomas Louell tak 't of me Till Cranmer Cromwel her two hands and shee Sleepe in their Graues Louell Now Sir you speake of two The most remark'd i' th' Kingdome as for Cromwell Beside that of the Iewell-House is made Master O' th' Rolles and the Kings Secretary Further Sir Stands in the gap and Trade of moe Preferments With which the Lime will loade him Th' Archbyshop Is the Kings hand and tongue and who dare speak One syllable against him Gard. Yes yes Sir Thomas There are that Date and I my selfe haue ventur'd To speake my minde of him and indeed this day Sir I may tell it you I thinke I haue Incenst the Lords o' th' Councell that he is For so I know he is they know he is A most Arch-Heretique a Pestilence That does infect the Land with which they moued Haue broken with the King who hath so farre Giuen care to our Complaint of his great Grace And Princely Care fore-seeing those fell Mischiefes Our Reasons layd before him hath commanded To morrow Morning to the Councell Boord He be conuented He 's a ranke weed Sir Thomas And we must root him out From your Affaires I hinder you too long Good night Sir Thomas Exit Gardiner and Page Lou. Many good nights my Lord I rest your seruant Enter King and Suffolke King Charles I will play no more to night My mindes not on 't you are too hard for me Suff. Sir I did neuer win of you before King But little Charles Nor shall not when my Fancies on my play Now Louel from the Queene what is the Newes Lou. I could not personally deliuer to her What you commanded me but by her woman I sent your Message who return'd her thankes In the great'st humâ—se and desir'd your Highnesse Most heartily to pr◠〈◊〉 King What say 〈◊〉 Ha To pray for her Wha◠〈◊〉 â—e crying out Lou. So said her woman and that her suffrance made Almost each pang a death King Alas good Lady Suf. God safely quit her of her Burthen and With gentle Trauaile to the gladding of Your Highnesse with an Heire King 'T is midnight Charles Prythee to bed and in thy Prayres remember Th' estate of my poore Queene Leaue me alone For I must thinke of that which company Would not be friendly too Suf. I wish your Highnesse A quiet night and my good Mistris will Remember in my Prayers King Charles good night Exit Suffolke Well Sir what followes Enter Sir Anthony Denny Den. Sir I haue brought my Lord the Arch-byshop As you commanded me King Ha Canterbury Den. I my good Lord. King 'T is true where is he Denny Den. He attends your Highnesse pleasure King Bring him to Vs. Lou. This is about that which the Byshop spake I am happily come hither Enter Cranmer and Denny King Auoyd the Gallery Louel seemes to stay Ha I haue said Be gone What Exeunt Louell and Denny Cran. I am fearefull Wherefore frownes he thus 'T is his Aspect of Terror All 's not well King How now my Lord You do desire to know wherefore I sent for you Cran. It is my dutie T' attend your Highnesse pleasure King Pray you arise My good and gracious Lord of Canterburie Come you and I must walke a turne together I haue Newes to tell you Come come giue me your hand Ah my good Lord I greeue at what I speake And am right sorrie to repeat what followes I haue and most vnwillingly of late Heard many greeuous I do say my Lord Greeuous complaints of you which being consider'd Haue mou'd Vs and our Councell that you shall This Morning come before vs where I know You cannot with such freedome purge your selfe But that till further Triall in those Charges Which will require your Answer you must take Your patience to you and be well contented To make your house our Towre you a Brother of vs It fits we thus proceed or else no witnesse Would come against you Cran. I humbly thanke your Highnesse And am right glad to catch this good occasion Most throughly to be winnowed where my Chaffe And Corne shall flye asunder For I know There 's none stands vnder more calumnious tongues Then I my selfe poore man King Stand vp good Canterbury Thy Truth and thy Integrity is rooted In vs thy Friend Giue me thy hand stand vp Prythee let 's walke Now by my Holydame What manner of man are you My Lord I look'd You would haue giuen me your Petition that I should haue tane some paines to bring together Your selfe and your Accusers and to haue heard you Without indurance further Cran. Most dread Liege The good I stand on is my Truth and Honestie If they shall faile I with mine Enemies Will triumph o're my person which I waigh not Being of those Vertues vacant I feare nothing What can be said against me King Know you not How your state stands i' th' world with the whole world Your Enemies are many and not small their practises Must beare the same proportion and not euer The Iustice and the Truth o' th' question carries The dew o' th' Verdict with it at what case Might corrupt mindes procure Knaues as corrupt To sweare against you Such things haue bene done You are Potently oppos'd and with a Malice Of as great Size Weene you of better lucke I meane in periur'd Witnesse then your Master Whose Minister you are whiles heere he liu'd Vpon this naughty Earth Go too go too You take a Precepit for no leape of danger And woe your owne destruction Cran. God and your Maiesty Protect mine innocence or I fall into The trap is laid for me King Be of good cheere They shall no more preuaile then we giue way too Keepe comfort to you and this Morning see You do appeare before them If they shall chance In charging you with matters to commit you The best perswasions to the contrary Faile not to vse and with what vehemencie Th' occasion shall instruct you If intreaties
th' hoofe seeke shelter packe Falstaffe will learne the honor of the age French-thrift you Rogues my selfe and skirted Page Pist Let Vultures gripe thy guts for gourd and Fullam holds high and low beguiles the rich poore Tester I le haue in pouch when thou shalt lacke Base Phrygian Turke Ni. I haue opperations Which be humors of reuenge Pist Wilt thou reuenge Ni. By Welkin and her Star Pist With wit or Steele Ni. With both the humors I I will discusse the humour of this Loue to Ford. Pist And I to Page shall eke vnfold How Falstaffe varlet vile His Doue will proue his gold will hold And his soft couch defile Ni. My humour shall not coole I will incense Ford to deale with poyson I will possesse him with yallownesse for the reuolt of mine is dangerous that is my true humour Pist Thou art the Mars of Malecontents I second thee troope on Exeunt Scoena Quarta Enter Mistris Quickly Simple Iohn Rugby Doctor Caius Fenton Qu. What Iohn Rugby I pray thee goe to the Casement and see if you can see my Master Master Docter Caius comming if he doe I' faith and finde any body in the house here will be an old abusing of Gods patience and the Kings English Ru. I le goe watch Qu. Goe and we 'll haue a posset for 't soone at night in faith at the latter end of a Sea-cole-fire An honest willing kinde fellow as euer seruant shall come in house withall and I warrant you no tel-tale nor no breedebate his worst fault is that he is giuen to prayer hee is something peeuish that way but no body but has his fault but let that passe Peter Simple you say your name is Si. I for fault of a better Qu. And Master Slender's your Master Si. I forsooth Qu. Do's he not weare a great round Beard like a Glouers pairing-knife Si. No forsooth he hath but a little wee face with a little yellow Beard a Caine colourd Beard Qu. A softly-sprighted man is he not Si. I forsooth but he is as tall a man of his hands as any is betweene this and his head he hath fought with a Warrener Qu. How say you oh I should remember him do's he not hold vp his head as it were and strut in his gate Si. Yes indeede do's he Qu. Well heauen send Anne Page no worse fortune Tell Master Parson Euans I will doe what I can for your Master Anne is a good girle and I wish Ru. Out alas here comes my Master Qu. We shall all be shent Run in here good young man goe into this Closset he will not stay long what Iohn Rugby Iohn what Iohn I say goe Iohn goe enquire for my Master I doubt he be not well that hee comes not home and downe downe adowne'a c. Ca. Vat is you sing I doe not like des-toyes pray you goe and vetch me in my Closset vnboyteene verd a Box a greene-a-Box do intend vat I speake a greene-a-Box Qu. I forsooth I le fetch it you I am glad hee went not in himselfe if he had found the yong man he would haue bin horne-mad Ca. Fe fe fe fe maifoy il fait for ehando Ie man voi a le Court la grand affaires Qu. Is it this Sir Ca. Ony mette le au mon pocket de-petch quickly Vere is dat knaue Rugby Qu. What Iohn Rugby Iohn Ru. Here Sir Ca. You are Iohn Rugby aad you are Iacke Rugby Come take-a-your Rapier and come after my heele to the Court. Ru. 'T is ready Sir here in the Porch Ca. By my trot I tarry too long od's-me que ay ie oublie dere is some Simples in my Closset dat I vill not for the varld I shall leaue behinde Qu. Ay-me he 'll finde the yong man there be mad Ca. O Diable Diable vat is in my Closset Villanie La-roone Rugby my Rapier Qu. Good Master be content Ca. Wherefore shall I be content-a Qu. The yong man is an honest man Ca. What shall de honest man do in my Closset dere is no honest man dat shall come in my Closset Qu. I beseech you be not so flegmaticke heare the truth of it He came of an errand to mee from Parson Hugh Ca. Vell. Si. I forsooth to desire her to Qu. Peace I pray you Ca. Peace-a-your tongue speake-a-your Tale. Si. To desire this honest Gentlewoman your Maid to speake a good word to Mistris Anne Page for my Master in the way of Marriage Qu. This is all indeede-la but I le nere put my finger in the fire and neede not Ca. Sir Hugh send-a you Rugby ballow mee some paper tarry you a littell-a-while Qui. I am glad he is so quiet if he had bin throughly moued you should haue heard him so loud and so melancholly but notwithstanding man I le doe yoe your Master what good I can and the very yea the no is y e French Doctor my Master I may call him my Master looke you for I keepe his house and I wash â—ing brew bake scowre dresse meat and drinke make the beds and doe all my selfe Simp. 'T is a great charge to come vnder one bodies hand Qui. Are you a-uis'd o' that you shall finde it a great charge and to be vp early and down later but notwithstanding to tell you in your eare I wold haue no words of it my Master himselfe is in loue with Mistris Anne Page but notwithstanding that I know Ans mind that 's neither heere nor there Caius You lack ' Nape giue-'a this Letter to Sir Hugh by gar it is a shallenge I will cut his troat in de Parke and I will teach a souruy lack-a-nape Priest to meddle or make you may be gon it is not good you tarry here by gar I will cut all his two stones by gar he shall not haue a stone to throw at his dogge Qui. Alas he speakes but for his friend Caius It is no matter'a ver dat do not you tell-a-me dat I shall haue Anne Page for my selfe by gar I vill kill de Iack-Priest and I haue appointed mine Host of de Iarteer to measure our weapon by gar I wil my selfe haue Anne Page Qui. Sir the maid loues you and all shall bee well We must giue folkes leaue to prate what the good-ier Caius Rugby come to the Court with me by gar if I haue not Anne Page I shall turne your head out of my dore follow my heeles Rugby Qui. You shall haue An-fooles head of your owne No I know Ans mind for that neuer a woman in Windsor knowes more of Ans minde then I doe nor can doe more then I doe with her I thanke heauen Fenton Who 's with in there hoa Qui. Who 's there I troa Come neere the house I pray you Fen. How now good woman how dost thou Qui. The better that it pleases your good Worship to aske Fen. What newes how do's pretty Mistris Anne Qui. In truth Sir and shee
the shauen Hercules in the smircht worm eaten tapestrie where his cod-peece seemes as massie as his club Con. All this I see and see that the fashion weares out more apparrell then the man but art not thou thy selfe giddie with the fashion too that thou hast shifted out of thy tale into telling me of the fashion Bor. Not so neither but know that I haue to night wooed Margaret the Lady Heroes gentle-woman by the name of Hero she leanes me out at her mistris chamber-vvindow bids me a thousand times good night I tell this tale vildly I should first tell thee how the Prince Claudio and my Master planted and placed and possessed by my Master Don Iohn saw a far off in the Orchard this amiable incounter Con. And thought thy Margaret was Hero Bor. Two of them did the Prince and Claudio but the diuell my Master knew she was Margaret and partly by his oathes which first possest them partly by the darke night which did deceiue them but chiefely by my villanie which did confirme any slander that Don Iohn had made away vvent Claudio enraged swore hee vvould meete her as he was apointed next morning at the Temple and there before the whole congregation shame her with vvhat he saw o're night and send her home againe vvithout a husband Watch. 1. We charge you in the Princes name stand Watch. 2. Call vp the right master Constable vve haue here recouered the most dangerous peece of lechery that euer vvas knowne in the Common-wealth Watch. 1. And one Deformed is one of them I know him a vveares a locke Conr. Mastâ— masters Watch. 2. You re be made bring deformed forth I warrant you Conr. Masters neuer speake vve charge you let vs obey you to goe vvith vs. Bor. We are like to proue a goodly commoditie being taken vp of these mens bils Conr. A commoditie in question I warrant you come vvee le obey you Exeunt Enter Hero and Margaret and Vrsula Hero Good Vrsula wake my cosin Beatrice and desire her to rise Vrsu I will Lady Her And bid her come hither Vrs Well Mar. Troth I thinke your other rebato were better Bero. No pray thee good Meg I le vveare this Marg. By my troth's not so good and I vvarrant your cosin vvill say so Bero. My cosin's a foole and thou art another I le vveare none but this Mar. I like the new tire vvithin excellently if the haire vvere a thought browner and your gown 's a most rare fashion yfaith I saw the Dutchesse of Millaines gowne that they praise so Bero. O that exceedes they say Mar. By my troth's but a night-gowne in respect of yours cloth a gold and cuts and lac'd with siluer set with pearles downe sleeues side sleeues and skirts round vnderborn with a blewish tinsel but for a fine queint gracefull and excellent fashion yours is worth ten on 't Hero God giue mee ioy to weare it for my heart is exceeding heauy Marga. 'T will be heauier soone by the waight of a man Hero Fie vpon thee art not asham'd Marg. Of what Lady of speaking honourably is not marriage honourable in a beggar is not your Lord honourable without marriage I thinke you would haue me say sauing your reuerence a husband and bad thinking doe not wrest true speaking I le offend no body is there any harme in the heauier for a husband none I thinke and it be the right husband and the right wife otherwise 't is light and not heauy aske my Lady Beatrice else here she comes Enter Beatrice Hero Good morrow Coze Beat. Good morrow sweet Hero Hero Why how now do you speake in the sick tune Beat. I am out of all other tune me thinkes Mar. Claps into Light a loue that goes without a burden do you sing it and I le dance it Beat. Ye Light aloue with your heeles then if your husband haue stables enough you 'll looke he shall lacke no barnes Mar. O illegitimate construction I scorne that with my heeles Beat. 'T is almost fiue a clocke cosin 't is time you were ready by my troth I am exceeding ill hey ho. Mar. For a hauke a horse or a husband Beat. For the letter that begins them all H. Mar. Well and you be not turn'd Turke there 's no more sayling by the starre Beat. What meanes the foole trow Mar. Nothing I but God send euery one rheir harts desire Hero These gloues the Count sent mee they are an excellent perfume Beat. I am stuft cosin I cannot smell Mar. A maid and stuft there 's goodly catching of colde Beat. O God helpe me God help me how long haue you profest apprehension Mar. Euer since you left it doth not my wit become me rarely Beat. It is not seene enough you should weare it in your cap by my troth I am sicke Mar. Get you some of this distill'd carduus benedictus and lay it to your heart it is the onely thing for a qualm Hero There thou prickst her with a thissell Beat. Benedictus why benedictus you haue some morall in this benedictus Mar. Morall no by my troth I haue no morall meaning I meant plaine holy thissell you may thinke perchance that I thinke you are in loue nay birlady I am not such a foole to thinke what I list nor I list not to thinke what I can nor indeed I cannot thinke if I would thinke my hart out of thinking that you are in loue or that you will be in loue or that you can be in loue yet Benedicke was such another and now is he become a man he swore hee would neuer marry and yet now in despight of his heart he eates his meat without grudging and how you may be conuerted I know not but me thinkes you looke with your eies as other women doe Beat. What pace is this that thy tongue keepes Mar. Not a false gallop Enter Vrsula Vrsula Madam withdraw the Prince the Count signior Benedicke Don Iohn and all the gallants of the towne are come to fetch you to Church Hero Helpe to dresse mee good coze good Meg good Vrsula Enter Leonato and the Constable and the Headborough Leonato What would you with mee honest neighbour Const Dog Mary sir I would haue some confidence with you that decernes you nearely Leon. Briefe I pray you for you see it is a busie time with me Const Dog Mary this it is sir Headb Yes in truth it is sir Leon. What is it my good friends Con. Do. Goodman Verges sir speakes a little of the matter an old man sir and his wits are not so blunt as God helpe I would desire they were but infaith honest as the skin betweene his browes Head Yes I thank God I am as honest as any man liuing that is an old man and no honester then I. Con. Dog Comparisons are odorous palabras neighbour Verges Leon. Neighbours you are tedious Con. Dog It pleases your worship to say so but we are the poore Dukes officers but truely
Wee 'le see these things effected to the full Here Hume take this reward make merry man With thy Confederates in this weightie cause Exit Elianor Hume Hume must make merry with the Duchesse Gold Marry and shall but how now Sir Iohn Hume Seale vp your Lips and giue no words but Mum The businesse asketh silent secrecie Dame Elianor giues Gold to bring the Witch Gold cannot come amisse were she a Deuill Yet haue I Gold flyes from another Coast I dare not say from the rich Cardinall And from the great and new-made Duke of Suffolke Yet I doe finde it so for to be plaine They knowing Dame Elianors aspiring humor Haue hyred me to vnder-mine the Duchesse And buzze these Coniurations in her brayne They say A craftie Knaue do's need no Broker Yet am I Suffolke and the Cardinalls Broker Hume if you take not heed you shall goe neere To call them both a payre of craftie Knaues Well so it stands and thus I feare at last Humes Knauerie will be the Duchesse Wracke And her Attainture will be Humphreyes fall Sort how it will I shall haue Gold for all Exit Enter three or foure Petitioners the Armorers Man being one 1. Pet. My Masters let 's stand close my Lord Protector will come this way by and by and then wee may deliuer our Supplications in the Quill 2. Pet. Marry the Lord protect him for hee 's a good man Iesu blesse him Enter Suffolke and Queene Peter Here a comes me thinkes and the Queene with him I le be the first sure 2. Pet. Come backe foole this is the Duke of Suffolk and not my Lord Protector Suff. How now fellow would'st any thing with me 1. Pet. I pray my Lord pardon me I tooke ye for my Lord Protector Queene To my Lord Protector Are your Supplications to his Lordship Let me see them what is thine 1. Pet. Mine is and 't please your Grace against Iohn Goodman my Lord Cardinals Man for keeping my House and Lands and Wife and all from me Suff. Thy Wife too that 's some Wrong indeede What 's yours What 's heere Against the Duke of Suffolke for enclosing the Commons of Melforde How now Sir Knaue 2. Pet. Alas Sir I am but a poore Petitioner of our whole Towneship Peter Against my Master Thomas Horner for saying That the Duke of Yorke was rightfull Heire to the Crowne Queene What say'st thou Did the Duke of Yorke say hee was rightfull Heire to the Crowne Peter That my Mistresse was No forsooth my Master said That he was and that the King was an Vsurper Suff. Who is there Enter Seruant Take this fellow in and send for his Master with a Purseuant presently wee 'le heare more of your matter before the King Exit Queene And as for you that loue to be protected Vnder the Wings of our Protectors Grace Begin your Suites anew and sue to him Teare the Supplication Away base Cullions Suffolke let them goe All. Come let 's be gone Exit Queene My Lord of Suffolke say is this the guise Is this the Fashions in the Court of England Is this the Gouernment of Britaines Ile And this the Royaltie of Albions King What shall King Henry be a Pupill still Vnder the surly Glosters Gouernance Am I a Queene in Title and in Stile And must be made a Subiect to a Duke I tell thee Poole when in the Citie Tours Thou ran'st aâ—tilt in honor of my Loue And stol'st away the Ladies hearts of France I thought King Henry had resembled thee In Courage Courtship and Proportion But all his minde is bent to Holinesse To number Aue-Maries on his Beades His Champions are the Prophets and Apostles His Weapons holy Sawes of sacred Writ His Studie is his Tilt-yard and his Loues Are brazen Images of Canonized Saints I would the Colledge of the Cardinalls Would chuse him Pope and carry him to Rome And set the Triple Crowne vpon his Head That were a State fit for his Holinesse Suff. Madame be patient as I was cause Your Highnesse came to England so will I In England worke your Graces full content Queene Beside the haughtie Protector haue we Beauford The imperious Churchman Somerset Buckingham And grumbling Yorke and not the least of these But can doe more in England then the King Suff. And he of these that can doe most of all Cannot doe more in England then the Neuils Salisbury and Warwick are no simple Peeres Queene Not all these Lords do vex me halfe so much As that prowd Dame the Lord Protectors Wife She sweepes it through the Court with troups of Ladies More like an Empresse then Duke Humphreyes Wife Strangers in Court doe take her for the Queene She beares a Dukes Reuenewes on her backe And in her heart she scornes our Pouertie Shall I not liue to be aueng'd on her Contemptuous base-borne Callot as she is She vaunted ' mongst her Minions t' other day The very trayne of her worst wearing Gowne Was better worth then all my Fathers Lands Till Suffolke gaue two Dukedomes for his Daughter Suff. Madame my selfe haue lym'd a Bush for her And plac't a Quier of such enticing Birds That she will light to listen to the Layes And neuer mount to trouble you againe So let her rest and Madame list to me For I am bold to counsaile you in this Although we fancie not the Cardinall Yet must we ioyne with him and with the Lords Till we haue brought Duke Humphrey in disgrace As for the Duke of Yorke this late Complaint Will make but little for his benefit So one by one wee 'le weed them all at last And you your selfe shall steere the happy Helme Exit Sound a Sennet Enter the King Duke Humfrey Cardinall Buckingham Yorke Salisbury Warwicke and the Duchesse King For my part Noble Lords I care not which Or Somerset or Yorke all 's one to me Yorke If Yorke haue ill demean'd himselfe in France Then let him be denay'd the Regent-ship Som. If Somerset be vnworthy of the Place Let Yorke be Regent I will yeeld to him Warw. Whether your Grace be worthy yea or no Dispute not that Yorke is the worthyer Card. Ambitious Warwicke let thy betters speake Warw. The Cardinall 's not my better in the field Buck. All in this presence are thy betters Warwicke Warw. Warwicke may liue to be the best of all Salisb. Peace Sonne and shew some reason Buckingham Why Somerset should be preferr'd in this Queene Because the King forsooth will haue it so Humf. Madame the King is old enough himselfe To giue his Censure These are no Womens matters Queene If he be old enough what needs your Grace To be Protector of his Excellence Humf. Madame I am Protector of the Realme And at his pleasure will resigne my Place Suff. Resigne it then and leaue thine insolence Since thou wert King as who is King but thou The Common-wealth hath dayly run to wrack The Dolphin hath preuayl'd beyond the Seas And all the Peeres and
Nobles of the Realme Haue beene as Bond-men to thy Soueraigntie Card. The Commons hast thou rackt the Clergies Bags Are lanke and leane with thy Extortions Som. Thy sumptuous Buildings and thy Wiues Attyre Haue cost a masse of publique Treasurie Buck. Thy Crueltie in execution Vpon Offendors hath exceeded Law And left thee to the mercy of the Law Queene Thy sale of Offices and Townes in France If they were knowne as the suspect is great Would make thee quickly hop without thy Head Exit Humfrey Giue me my Fanne what Mynion can ye not She giues the Duchesse a box on the care I cry you mercy Madame was it you Duch. Was 't I yea I it was prowd French-woman Could I come neere your Beautie with my Nayles I could set my ten Commandements in your face King Sweet Aunt be quiet 't was against her will Duch. Against her will good King looke to 't in time Shee 'le hamper thee and dandle thee like a Baby Though in this place most Master weare no Breeches She shall not strike Dame Elianor vnreueng'd Exit Elianor Buck. Lord Cardinall I will follow Elianor And listen after Humfrey how he proceedes Shee 's tickled now her Fume needs no spurres Shee 'le gallop farre enough to her destruction Exit Buckingham Enter Humfrey Humf. Now Lords my Choller being ouer-blowne With walking once about the Quadrangle I come to talke of Common-wealth Affayres As for your spightfull false Obiections Proue them and I lye open to the Law But God in mercie so deale with my Soule As I in dutie loue my King and Countrey But to the matter that we haue in hand I say my Soueraigne Yorke is meetest man To be your Regent in the Realme of France Suff. Before we make election giue me leaue To shew some reason of no little force That Yorke is most vnmeet of any man Yorke I le tell thee Suffolke why I am vnmeet First for I cannot flatter thee in Pride Next if I be appointed for the Place My Lord of Somerset will keepe me here Without Discharge Money or Furniture Till France be wonne into the Dolphins hands Last time I danc't attendance on his will Till Paris was besieg'd famisht and lost Warw. That can I witnesse and a fouler fact Did neuer Traytor in the Land commit Suff. Peace head-strong Warwicke Warw. Image of Pride why should I hold my peace Enter Armorer and his Man Suff. Because here is a man accused of Treason Pray God the Duke of Yorke excuse himselfe Yorke Doth any one accuse Yorke for a Traytor King What mean'st thou Suffolke tell me what are these Suff. Please it your Maiestie this is the man That doth accuse his Master of High Treason His words were these That Richard Duke of Yorke Was rightfull Heire vnto the English Crowne And that your Maiestie was an Vsurper King Say man were these thy words Armorer And 't shall please your Maiestie I neuer sayd nor thought any such matter God is my witnesse I am falsely accus'd by the Villaine Peter By these tenne bones my Lords hee did speake them to me in the Garret one Night as wee were scowring my Lord of Yorkes Armor Yorke Base Dunghill Villaine and Mechanicall I le haue thy Head for this thy Traytors speech I doe beseech your Royall Maiestie Let him haue all the rigor of the Law Armorer Alas my Lord hang me if euer I spake the words my accuser is my Prentice and when I did correct him for his fault the other day he did vow vpon his knees he would be euen with me I haue good witnesse of this therefore I beseech your Maiestie doe not cast away an honest man for a Villaines accusation King Vnckle what shall we say to this in law Humf. This doome my Lord if I may iudge Let Somerset be Regent o're the French Because in Yorke this breedes suspition And let these haue a day appointed them For single Combat in conuenient place For he hath witnesse of his seruants malice This is the Law and this Duke Humfreyes doome Som. I humbly thanke your Royall Maiestie Armorer And I accept the Combat willingly Peter Alas my Lord I cannot fight for Gods sake pitty my case the spight of man preuayleth against me O Lord haue mercy vpon me I shall neuer be able to fight a blow O Lord my heart Humf. Sirrha or you must fight or else be hang'd King Away with them to Prison and the day of Combat shall be the last of the next moneth Come Somerset wee 'le see thee sent away Flourish Exeunt Enter the Witch the two Priests and Bullingbrooke Hume Come my Masters the Duchesse I tell you expects performance of your promises Bulling Master Hume we are therefore prouided will her Ladyship behold and heare our Exorcismes Hume I what else feare you not her courage Bulling I haue heard her reported to be a Woman of an inuincible spirit but it shall be conuenient Master Hume that you be by her aloft while wee be busie below and so I pray you goe in Gods Name and leaue vs. Exit Hume Mother Iordan be you prostrate and grouell on the Earth Iohn Southwell reade you and let vs to our worke Enter Elianor aloft Elianor Well said my Masters and welcome all To this geere the sooner the better Bullin Patience good Lady Wizards know their times Deepe Night darke Night the silent of the Night The time of Night when Troy was set on fire The time when Screech-owles cry and Bandogs howle And Spirits walke and Ghosts breake vp their Graues That time best fits the worke we haue in hand Madame sit you and feare not whom wee rayse Wee will make fast within a hallow'd Verge Here doe the Ceremonies belonging and make the Circle Bullingbrooke or Southwell reades Coniuro te c. It Thunders and Lightens terribly then the Spirit riseth Spirit Ad sum Witch Asmath by the eternall God Whose name and power thou tremblest at Answere that I shall aske for till thou speake Thou shalt not passe from hence Spirit Aske what thou wilt that I had sayd and done Bulling First of the King What shall of him become Spirit The Duke yet liues that Henry shall depose But him out-liue and dye a violent death Bulling What fates await the Duke of Suffolke Spirit By Water shall he dye and take his end Bulling What shall befall the Duke of Somerset Spirit Let him shun Castles Safer shall he be vpon the sandie Plaines Then where Castles mounted stand Haue done for more I hardly can endure Bulling Discend to Darknesse and the burning Lake False Fiend auoide Thunder and Lightning Exit Spirit Enter the Duke of Yorke and the Duke of Buckingham with their Guard and breake in Yorke Lay hands vpon these Traytors and their trash Beldam I thinke we watcht you at an ynch What Madame are you there the King Commonweale Are deepely indebted for this peece of paines My Lord Protector will I doubt it not See you