Fathers own Son A COMEDY Formerly Acted at the Private House in Black Fryers And now at the Theatre in Verestreet by His Majesties Servants The Author IOHN FLETCHER Gent. LONDON Printed for Robert Crofts at the Crown in Chancery lane TO THE NOBLE HONOVRER OF The dead Authors works and memory Master CHARLES COTTON SIR MY directing of this piece unto you renders me obvious to many censures which I would willingly prevent by declaring mine owne and your right thereto Mine was the fortune to be made the unworthy preserver of it yours is the worthy opinion you have of the Author and his Poems neither can it easily be determined whether your affection to them hath made you by observing more able to judge of them then your ability to judge of them hath made you to affect them deservedly not partially In this presumptuous act of mine I expresse my twofold zeale to him and your noble selfe who have built him a more honourable monument in that faire opinion you have of him then any inscription subject to the wearing of time can be You will finde him in this Poem as active as in others to many of which the dull apprehensions of former times gave but slender allowance from malitious custome more than reason yet they have since by your candid selfe and others beene cleerely vindicated You shall oblige by your acceptance of this acknowledgement which is the best I can render you mine own weake labours being too unworthy your judicious perusall him that is ambitious to be known Your most humble servant RICHARD BROME In prayse of the Authour and his following Poeme 'T Is both the life of Action and of wit When Actors so the fanci'd humours hit As if'twixt them and th' Authour there were strife How each to other should give mutuall life The last this wanted not Invention strayes Here in full many pleasant turning wayes That like Meanders their curld circles bend Yet in a smooth streame runne to crowne the end Then 't is authoriz'd by the Authors name Who never writ but with such sprightly flame As if the Muses jointly did inspire His raptures only with their sacred fire And yet perhaps it did participate At first presenting but of common fate When ignorance was judge and but a few What was legitimate what bastard knew The world 's growne wiser now each man can say If Fletcher made it 't is an exc'lent play Thus Poemes like their Authors may be sed Never to live 'till they have first beene dead Rich Brome Monsieur Thomas A Comedy Actus Primus Scena Prima Enter Alice and Valentine Alice HOw dearely welcome you are Val. I know it And my best sister you as deer to my sight And pray let this confirm it how you have govern'd My poore state in my absence how my servants I dare and must beleeve else I should wrong ye The best and worthiest Alice As my womans wit Sir Which is but weake and crazie Val. But good Alice Tell me how fares the gentle Cellide The life of my affection since my travell My long and lazie travell is her love still Vpon the growing hand do's it not stop And wither at my yeares has she not view'd And entertain'd some yonger smooth behaviour Some youth but in his blossome as her selfe is There lyes my feares Alice They need not for beleeve me So well you have manag'd her and won her minde Even from her houres of childehood to this ripenesse And in your absence that by me inforcâ—d stil So well distill'd your gentlenesse into her Observ'd her fed her fancy liv'd still in her And though Love be a boy and ever youthfull And young and beauteous objectâ— ever aym'd at Yet here yee have gone beyond love better'd nature Made him appeare in yeares in gray yeares fiery His bow at full bent ever feare not brother For though your body has been farre off from her Yet every houre your heart which is your goodnesse I have forc'd into her won a place prepar'd too And willingly to give it ever harbour Beleeve she is so much yours and won by miracle Which is by age so deep a stamp set on her By your observances she cannot alter Were the childe living now ye lost at sea Among the Genoway Gallies what a happinesse What a maine blessing Val. O no more good sister Touch no more that string 't is too harsh and jarring With that childe all my hopes went and you know The root of all those hopes the mother too Within few dayes Alice 'T is too true and too fatall But peace be with their soules Val. For her losse I hope the beauteous Cellide Alice You may Sir For all she is is yours Val. For the poore boyes losse I have brought a noble friend I found in travell A worthier minde and a more temperate spirit If I have so much judgement to discerne 'em Man yet was never master of Alice What is he Val. A Gentleman I doe assure my selfe And of a worthy breeding though he hide it I found him at Valentia poore and needy Onely his minde the master of a treasure I sought his friendship wonne him by much violence His honesty and modesty still fearing To thrust a charge upon me how I love him He shall now know where want and he hereafter Shall be no more companions use him nobly It is my will good sister all I have I make him free companion in and partâ—er But onely Alice I observe ye hold your right there Love and high rule allowes no rivals brotherâ— He shall have faire regard and all observance Enter Hylas Hylas Ye are welcome noble Sir Val. What Monsieur Hylasâ— I 'me glad to see your merry body well yet Hyl. Yf'aith y' are welcome home what news beyond â—eas Val. None but new men expected such as you are To breed new admirations 't is my sister Pray ye know her sir Hylas With all my heart your leave Lady Alice Ye have it sir Hylas A shrewd smart touch which do's prognosticate A body kâ—ene and active somewhat old But that 's all one age brings experience And knowledge to dispatch I must be better And neerer in my service with your leave sir To this faire Lâ—dy Val. What the old squire of dameâ— stillâ— Hyl. Still the admireâ— of their goodnesse with all my heart now I love a woman of her yeares a pacer That lay the bridle in her neck will travell Forty and some what fulsome is a fine dish These yong colts are too sketish Enter Mary Al. My cosin Mary In all her joy Siâ— to congratulate Your faire returne Val. My loving and kind cosin A thousand welcomes Mary A thousand thanks to heaven Sir For your safe voyage and returne Val. I thanke â—e But wher 's my blessed Cellide her slacknesse In visitation Mary Thinke not so deere Vncle I left her on her knees thanking the gods With teares and prayers Val. Ye have given me too much comfort Mary
have a vomit for him Alice A purge first And iâ— he breath'd a veyne Val. No no no bleeding A Clyster will coole all Cell Be of good cheere Sir Alice He'â— loth to speake Cel. How hard he holds my hand Aunt Alice I doe not like that signe Val. Away to 's chamber Softly he 's full of paine be diligent With all the care ye have would I had â—cus'd him Exeunt Scena Secunda Enter Dorothea and Thomas Dor. VVHy do you raile at me do I dwell in her To force her to do this or that your Letterâ— A wilde-fire on your Letter our sweet Letter You are so learned in your writs ye stand now As if ye had worried sheepe you must turne tippet And suddenly and truely and discreetly Put on the shape of order and humanity Or you must marry Malkyn the May Lady You must deere bâ—other doe you make me carrier Of your confound-mee's and your culverings Am I a seemely agent for your othes Who would have writ such a debosh'd Thom. Your patience May not a man profâ—sse his Love Dor. In blasphemies Rack a maids tender eares with dam's and divâ—ls Thom. Out out upon thee how would you have me write Begin with my love premised suâ—ely And by my truly Mistresse Dor. Take your owne course For I see all perswasion 's lost upon ye Humanitie all drownd from this howre fayrely Tho. I le wash my hands of all ye do farewell Sirâ— Thou art not mad Dor. No if I were deere brother I would keep you company get a new Mistresâ—e Som suburb Sant that â—ix pence and som others Will draw to parley carowse her health in Cans And candles ends and quarrell for her beauty Such a sweet hart must serve your turne your old love Releases ye of all your tyes disclaimes ye And utterly abjures your memory Till time has better mannag'd ye will ye comand me Tho. What bobd of all sides Dor. Any worthy service Vnto my father sir that I may tell him Even to his peace of heart and much rejoycing Ye are his true son Thom still will it please ye To beat some halfe a dozen of his servants presently That I may testifie you have brought the same faith Vnblemishd home ye carâ—ied out or if it like you There be two chambermaids within yong wenches Handsom and apt for exercise you have bin good sir And charitable though I say it Signiour To such poore orphans and now by th' way I think on 't Your yong reare Admirall I meane your last bastard Don Iohn ye had by Lady Blanch the Dairy Maid Is by an Academy of learned Gypsies Foreseeing some strange wonder in the infant Stolne from the Nurse and wanders with those Prophets There is plate in the parlour and good store sir When your wants shall supply it So most humbly First rendring my due service I take leave sir Exit Tho. Why Doll why Doll I say my letter â—ubd too And no accesse without I mend my manners All my designes in Limbo I will have her Yes I will have her though the divell rore I am resolv'd that if she live above ground I 'le not be bobd i' th nose with every bobtaâ—le I will be civill too now I thinke better Exceeding civill wondrous finely carried And yet be mad upon occasion And starke mad too and save my land my father I 'le have my will of him how ere my wench goes Exit Enter Sebastian and Launcelotâ— Seb. Sirha I say still you have spoild your Master leave your â—tiches I say thou hast spoild thy master Lan I say how sir Seb. Marry thou hast taught him like an arrant rascall First to reade perfectly which on my blessing I warn'd him from for I knew if he read once He was a lost man Secondly sir Launcelot Sir lowsie Launcelot ye have suffer'd him Against my power first then against my precept To keepe that simpâ—ing sort oâ— people company That sober men call civill marke ye that Sir Lan And 't please your worship Seb. It does not please my worship Nor shall not please my woâ—ship third and lastly Which iâ— the law were here I would hang thee for However I will lame thee like a villaine Thoâ— hast wrought him Cleane to forget what 't is to doâ— a mischiefe A handsome mischieâ—e such as thou knew'st I lov'd well My servants all are sound now my drink sowrd Not a horse pawnd nor plaid away no warrants Come for the breach of peace Men travell with their money and nothing meets 'em I was accurs'd to send thee thou wert ever Leaning to lazinesse and losse of spirit Thou slept'st still like a corke upon the water Your worship knowes I ever was accounted The most debosh'd and please you to remember Every day drunke too for your worships credit I broke the Butlers head too Seb. No base Palliard I doe remember yet that anslaight thou wast beaten And fledst before the Butler a blacke jacke Playing vpon thee furiously I saw it I saw thee scatter'd rogue behold thy Master Enter Thomas with a Booke Thom. What sweet content dwels here Lâ—. Put up your booke sir We are all undone else Seb. Tom when is the horse-race Tho. I know not sir Seb. You will be there Tho. Not I sir I have forgot those journeyes Seb. Spoild for ever The cocking holds at Dâ—rby and there will be Iacke Wild-oats and Will Purser Tho. I am sorry sir They should employ their time so â—lenderly Their understandings will beare better courses Seb. Yes I will marry agen but Monsieur Thomas What say ye to the gentleman that challenged ye Before he went and the fellow ye fell out with Thom. O good Sir Remember not those follies where I have wronged sir So much I have now learn'd to discern my selfe My meanes and my repentance shall make even Nor doe I thinke it any imputation To let the law pâ—rswade me Seb. Any woman I care not of what colour or complexion Any that can beare children rest ye merry Exit La. Ye have utterly undone cleane discharg'd me I am for the ragged regiment Thom. Eight languages And wither at an old mans words La. O pardon me I know him but too well eight score I take it Will not keepe me from beating if not killing I 'le give him leave to breake a leg and thank him You might have sav'd all this and sworn a little What had an oath or two bin or a head broke Though t' had been mine to have satisfied the old man Tho. I 'le breake it yet La. Now 't is too late I take it Will ye be drunk to night a lesse intreaty Has serv'd your turnâ— and save all yet not mad drunk For then ye are the divell yet the drunker The better for your father still your state is desperate And with a desperate cure ye must recover it Doe something doe siâ—â— doe some drunken thing Some mad thing or some any thing to help us Tho Goe for
carefull Hyl. But harâ— ye one word Tom we may bâ— beâ—ten Tom. That 's as ye think good your selvâ—â—â— iâ— you desâ—rvâ— it Why 't is the easiest thing to compasse beatâ—n What bugbeares dwell in thy brâ—ins who should beat thee Hyl. She has men enoughâ— Thom. Art not thou man enough tooâ— Thou hast flesh enough about thee if all that masâ—e Will not maintâ—ine a little spirit hang it And dry it too for dogâ— meatâ— get you gone I have things of moment in my minde that dooâ—e Keep it aâ— thou would'st keep thy wife from a Sâ—â—vingman No more I say away Sam. Sam. At your will sir Exit Hyl. Sam. Enter Launcelot and Fâ—dler Lan I have him here a rare rogue good sweet master Doe something of somâ— savour suddenlyâ— That we mâ—y eat and live I am almost starv'd No point manieurâ— no point devein 〈◊〉 Signiâ—â—â— Not by the vertue of my languages Nothing at my old masters to be hoped for O Signieur du nothing to line my life with But cold Pyes with a cudgell till you help us Tho. Nothing but famine â—rights thee come hither Fidler Whad Ballads are you seen in best be shoâ—t sir Fidler Vnder your masterships correction I can sing The Duke of Norfolkâ— or the merry Ballad Of Diverâ—â— and Lazarus the Rose of England In Creet when Dedimus first began Ionas his crying out against Coventry Tho. Excellent Rare matters all Fid. Mawdlin the Merchants daughter The Divell and ye dainty Dames Tom. Rare still Fid. The landing of the Spaniards at Bow With the bloudy battell at Mile-end Tho. All excellent No tuning as ye love me let thy Fidle Speake welch or any thing that 's out of all tune The vilder still the better like thy selfe For I presume thy voyce will make no trees dance Fid. Nay truely ye shall have it ev'n as homely Tho. Keep ye to that key are they all abed trow Lan I heare no stirring anywhere no light In any window 't is a night for the nonce Sir Tom. Come strike up then and say the Merchants daughter We 'l beare the burthen proceed to incision Fidler Song Enter Servant above Ser. Who 's there what noyse is this what rogue At these houres Thom. O what is that to you my foole O what is that to you Plucke in your face you bawling Asse Or I will breake your brow A new Ballad a new a new hey down down adown Fid. The twelfth of Aprill on May day My house and goods were burnt away c. Maid above Maid Why who is this Lan O damsell deere Open the doore and it shall appeare Open the doore O gentle squire Maid I 'le see thee hang first farewell my dâ—â—re ' Tiâ— master Thomas there he stands Enter Mary above Mary 'T is strange That nothing can redeeme him raile him hâ—nce Or sing him out in 's owne way any thing To be deliver'd of him Maid Then have at himâ— My man Thomas did me promise He would visite me this night Tho. I am here Love tell me deerâ— Love How I may obtaine thy sight Maid Come up to my window lovâ— come come come Come to my window â—y deere The winâ—e nor the raine shall troublâ— thâ—â— agâ—ine But thou shalt be lodged â—ere Thom. And art thou strong enough Lan Vp up I warrant ye Mary What do'st thou meane to doâ— Maid Good Mistresâ—e peace I 'le warrant ye wee 'l coole him Madgâ— Madge above Madge I am ready Tho. The loue of Greecâ— and it tiâ—kled him so That he devised a way to goe Now sing the Duke of Nortâ—umberland Fidler And climbing to promotion He fell down suddenly Madge with a divels vizard roring offers to kisse him and he fâ—ls down Maid Farewell sir Mary What hast thou done thou hast broke his neck Maid Not hurt him He pitcht upon his legs likâ— a Cat Tho. O woman O miserable woman I am spoil'd My leg my leg my leg oh both my legs Mary I told thee what thou hadst done mischiefe gâ— with thee Tho. O I am lam'd for ever O my leg Broken in twenty places O take heed Take heed of women Fidler oh a Surgeon A Surgeoâ— or I dye oh my good people No charitable people all despightfull Oh what a misery am I in oh my leg. Lan Be patient sir be patient let me binde it Enter Samuel and Hylas with his head broken Tho. Oh doe not touch it rogue Hyl. My head my head Oh my head 's kil'd Sam. You must be courting wenches Through key-holes Captain Hylas come and be comforted The skin is scarce broke Tho. O my leg. Sam. How doe ye sir Tho. Oh maim'd for ever with a fall he 's spoil'd tooâ— I â—ee his brainâ—â— Hyl. Away with me for Gods sake A Surgeon Sam. Here'â— a night indeed Hyl. A Surgeon Exit all but Fidler Enter Mary and servant below Mary Goe run for helpâ— Tho. Oh Mary Run allâ— and all too little O cursed beast that hurt him râ—n run flye He will be dead else Tho. Oh Mary Good friend goe you too Fid. Who payes me for my Musicke Mary Pâ—x o' your Musicke Ther 's twelve pence for ye Fid. Ther 's two groateâ— againe forsooth I nâ—ver take above and rest ye merry Exit Ma. A grease pot guild your fidle strings how do you How is my deere Tom. Why well I thank ye sweet heart Shall we walke in for now thâ—â—'s nonâ— to trouble us Ma. Are ye so crafty sir I shall meet with ye I knew your tricke and I was willing my Tom Mine owne Tom now to satisfiâ— thee welcome welcome Welcome my best friend to me all my deerest Tom. Now ye are my noble Mistresse we loose time sweet Ma. I thinke they are all gone Tom. All ye did wisely Ma. And you as crafâ—ily Tom. We are well met Mistresse Ma. Come let 's goe in then lovingly O my Skarfe Tom. I lost it thereabout finde it and weare it As your poore Mistresse favour Exit Tom. I am made now I see no venture is in no hand I have it How now the doore lock't and she in before Am I so trim'd Ma. One parting word sweet Thomas Though to save your credit I discharg'd your Fidler I must not satisfie your folly too sir Ye' are subtle but beleeve it Foxe I 'le finde ye The Surgeons will be here strait â—ore againe boy And breake thy legs for shame thou wilt be sport else Good nightâ— Tom. She saies most true I must not stay she has bobd me Which if I live I 'le recompence and shortly Now for a Ballad to bring me off againe All yong men be warn'd by me how you do goe a wooing Seek not to climb for feare ye fall thereby comes your undoing c. Exâ—unt Actus Quartus Scena Prima Enter Valentine Alice and sâ—rvant Val. HE cannot goe and take no farewell of me Can he be so vnkinde he 's but retir'd Into the Garden or the Orchard see
siâ—s Alice He would not ride there câ—rtain those were planted Onely for walkes I take it Val. Ride nay then Had he horse out Ser. So the Groome delivers Somewhat before the breake of day Val. He 's gone My best friends gone Alice I have lost the noblest The truest and the most man I ere found yet Alice Inded sir he deserves all praise Val. All sister All all and all too little O that honesty That ermine honesty unspotted eveâ— That perfect goodnesse Alice Sure he will returne sir He cannot be so harsh Val. O never never Never returne thou know'st not where the cause lyes Alice He was the worthiest welcome Val. He deserv'd it Alice Nor wanted to our knowledge Val. I will tell thee Within this houre things that shall startle thee He never must returne Enter Michael Mich. Good morrow Signieur Val. Good morrow master Michael Mich. My good neighbour Me thinks you are stirring early since your travell You have learn'd the rule of health sir where 's your mistres She keeps her warme I warrant ye a bed yet Val. I thinke she do's Alice T' is not her houre of waâ—ing Mich. Did you lye with her Lady Alice Not to night sir Nor any night â—his weeke else Mich. When last saw ye her Alice Late yester night Mich. Was she abed then Alice No sir I left her at her prayers why doe ye aske me Mich. I have been strangely hâ—unted with a dreame All this long night and after many wakingâ— The same dreame still me thought I met yong Câ—llide Iust at S. Katherines gate the Nunnery Val. Ha Mich. Her face slubber'd o're with teares and troubles Me thought she cry'd unto the Lady Abbesse For charity receive me holy woman A Maid that has forgot the worlds affections Into thy virgin order me thought she tooke herâ— Put on a Stole and sacred robe upon her And there I left her Val. Dreame Mich. Good Mistresse Alice Doe me the favour yet to satisfie me To sâ—ep but up and see Alice I know she 's there sir And all this but a dreame Mich. You know not my dreames They are unhappy ones and often truthâ—â— But this I hope yet Alice I will satisfie ye Exit Mich. Neighbours how do's the gentleman Val. I know not Dreame of a Nunnery Mich. How found ye my words About the nature of his sicknesse Valentine Val. Did she not cry out 't was my folly too That forc'd her to thi◠〈◊〉 did sâ—â— not curse me For God sake speake did you not dreame of me too How basely poorely tamely like a foole Tir'd with his joyeâ—â— Mich. Alas poore gentleman Ye promis'd me sir to 〈…〉 these 〈◊〉 Valâ— I beare 'em till I breake â—gâ—ine Mich. But nobly Truely to weigh Val. Good neighbours no more oâ— it Ye doe but fling flaxe on my fireâ— where iâ— she Enter Alice Alice Not yonder sâ—â— nor hâ—â— not this night certaine Bin in her bed Mich. It must be truth she telâ— ye And now I 'le shew ye why I came this morning A man of mine being â—mployed about businesse Came early home who at S. Kathâ—riâ—es Nunnery About day peep told â—e he mâ—t your Mistresse And as I spoke it in a dreame â—o troubled And so received by the Abbeâ—â—e did he see her The wonder made me rise and haste unto ye To know the cause Val. Farewell I cannot speakâ— it Exit Val. Alice For heaven sake leave him notâ— Mich. I will not Lady Alice Alas he 's much afflicted Mich. We shall know shortly more apply yoâ—r own care At home good Alice and trust him to my counsell Nay doe not weep all shall be well despaire notâ—Exeunt Scena Secunda Enter Sebastiâ—â— and a Servaâ—t Seb. AT Valâ—â—tinâ—â— house so merryâ— Ser. As a pie â—irâ— Seb. So gamâ—son dost thou say Sâ—r. I am sure I heard it Seb. Ballads and Fidlâ—â— tooâ— Sâ—r. No but one Fidleâ— But twenty noyces Enter Lauâ—câ—lâ—t Seb. Did he do deviseâ— Ser. The best devises sir her 's my fellow Launcâ—lâ—t He can informe ye all he was among 'em A mad thing tooâ— I stood but in a corner Seb. Come sir what can you say is there â—ny hope yet You Master may returne Lan Hâ— went fâ—r else I will assure your worship on my crediâ— By the faith of a Travelloâ— and a Gentleman Your sonne iâ— found â—gainâ— the sonnâ— the Toâ—â— Seb. Iâ— he the old Tom Lan The old Tom. Seb. Goâ— forward Lâ—n. Next to consider how he is the old Tâ—mâ— Seb. Handle me thatâ— Lan I would ye had seene it handledâ— Last night sir as we handled it◠〈…〉 Footâ—â— for leerâ— and leâ—â—ingsâ— O the noyâ—e The noyse we made Seb. Good good Lan The windowes claâ—â—râ—ng And all the Chamâ—ermaâ—des in such a whobub One with hâ—r smocke halfâ— off â—other in hasâ— With a servingmâ—nâ— hose upon her head Seb. Good still Lan A fellow â—ayling out of a loop hole there And his mouth stopt with durt Seb. y'faith a fine Boy Lan Here one of our heads broke Seb. Excellent good still Lan The gentleman himselfe yong M. Thomas Invirond with his furious Mermidons The fiery Fidler and my selfe now singing Now beating at the doore there parlying Courting at that window at the other scalling And all these severall noyses to two Trenchers Strung with a bottome of browne thred which showd admirable Seb. There â—ate and grow againe I am pleas'd Lan Nor here sir Gave we the frolicke over though at length We quit the Ladies Skonce on composition But to the silent streetes we turn'd our fuâ—ies A â—leeping watchman here we stole the shooes fromâ— There made a noyse at which he wakes and followes The streeteâ— are durty takes a queene hith cold Hard cheeâ—e and that choakes him o' Munday next Windowes and signes we sent to Erebus A crue of bawling curs we entertain'd last When having let the pigs loose in out parishes O the brave cry we made as high as Algateâ— Downe comes a Constable and the Sow his Sister Most trayterously tramples upon Authority There a whole stand of rug gownes rowted manly And the Kings peace put flight a purblind pig here Runs me his head into the Admirable Lanthorne Out goes the light and all turnes to confusion A Potter rises to enquire this passion A Boare imbost takes sanctuary in his shop When twenty dogs rush after we still cheering Down goes the pots and piâ—kins down the pudding pans The creame bols cry revengâ—â—ere there the candlesticks Seb. If this be true thou little tyny page This tale that thou tell'st me Then on thy backe will I presently hang A handson new Levery But if this be false thou little tyney page As false it well may be Then with a cudgell of foure foote long I le beate thee from head to toe Enter Servant Seb. Will the boy come Ser. He will sir Enter Thomas Seb. Time tries all ther Lan Here he comes now himselfe sir Seb. To be short Thomas Because I feele a
scruple in my conscience Concerning the demeanour and a maine onâ— And therefore like a Father would be satisfi'd Get up to that window there and presently Like a most compleat Gentleman â—ome from Tripoly Tom Good Lord sir how are you misled what fancieâ— Fitter for idle boyes and drunkards let me speak 't And with a little wonder I beseech you Choake up your noble judgement Seb. You Rogue Launcelâ—tâ— You lying rascall Lan Will ye spoile all agen sir Why what a devill do you meane Tom. Away knave Ye keepe a company of sawcy felloweâ— Debosh'd daiâ—y drunkardâ— to deavoure ye Things whose dull soules tend to the Celler only Ye are ill advis'd sir to commit your credit Seb. Siâ—ha sirha Lan Let me never â—ate againe sir Nor feele the blessing oâ— another blew-coate If this yong Gentleman sweet Master Thomas Be not as mad as heart can wish your heart sirâ— If yesternights discoâ—rse speake fellow Robin And if thou speakest lesse then truthâ— Tom. T is strange these varlets Ser. By these ten bones sir if these eies and eares Can heare and see Tom. Extreâ—mâ— strange should thus boldly Bud in your sight unto your sonne Lan O deu guin Can ye deny ye beat a Constable Last night Tom. I touch Authoritie ye rascall I violate the Law Lan Good M. Thomas Ser. Did you not take two Wenches from the Wâ—tch toâ— And put 'em into pudding lane Lan We meane not Those civill things you did at M. Valentineâ— The Fidle and the fa'las Tom. O strange impudence I do beseech you sir give no such licencâ— To knaveâ— and drunkards to abuse your sonne thuâ—â— Be wise in time and turne 'em off we live sir In a State govern'd civilly and soberly Where each mans actions should confirme the Lawâ— Not cracke and canzell it Seb. Lancelot du Lâ—kâ— Get you upon adventers cast your coate And make your exit Lan Pur la mour de dieâ— Pur me no pursâ— but pur at that doore ouâ—â—irhâ— I le beate ye purblind else out ye eight languages Lan My bloud upon your head Exitâ— Lanâ— Tom. Purge me'em all sir Seb. And you too presently Tom. Even as you please sir Seb. Bid my maid servant comeâ— and bring my daughter I will have one shall please me Exit sâ—r Tom. T is most fit sir Seb. Bring me the money thereâ— here M. Thomas Enter two servants with two bags I pray sit downe ye are no more my sonne now Good gentleman be cover'd Tom. At your pleasure Seb. This money I do give ye because of whilom You have bin thought my sonne and by myselfe too And some things done like me ye are now another There is two hundred pound a civill some For a yong civill man much land and Lordship Will as I take it now but prove temptation To dread ye from your seâ—led and sweet carriage Tom. You say right sir Seb. Nay I beseech ye cover Tom. At your dispose and I beseech ye too sir For the word civill and more setled course It may be put to use that on the interest Like a poore Gentleman Seb. It shall to my use To mine againe do you see sir good fine gentleman I give no brooding money for a Scrivener Mine is for present trafficke and so I le use it Tom. So much for that then Enter Dorothy and foure Maids Seb. For the maine cause Mounsieur I sent to treat with you about behold itâ— Behold that pâ—ice of story worke and view it I want a right heire to inheriâ— me Not my estate alone but my conditions From which you are revolted theâ—efore dead And I will breake my backe but I will get one Tom. Will you choose there sir Seb. There among those Damsels In mine owne tribe I know their quallities Which cannot faile to please meâ— for their beauties A matter of a three farthings makes all perfect A little beere and beeffe broth they are sound too Stand all a breast now gentle M. Thomas Before I choose you having liv'd long with me And happely sometimes with some of these too Which fault I never frown'd upon pray shew me For feare we confound our Genealogies Which hâ—ve you laid aboordâ— speake your mind freely Have you had copulation with that Damsell Tom. I have Seb. Stand you a sidâ— then how with her sir Tom. How iâ— not seemely hâ—â—â— to â—ay Dor. Heer 's fine sport Seb. Retyre you too speake â—orward M. Thomas Tom. I will and to the purpose even with all sir Seb. With all that 's somewhat large Dâ—â—. And yâ—t you like it Wâ—â— ever sinne so glorâ—ousâ— Seb. With all Thomas Tom. All surely sir Seb. A signe thou art mine ownâ— yet In againe all and to your â—â—vâ—â—â—ll â—unctions Exit Maides What say you to yong Luce my neighbourâ— daughter She was too yong I take it when you travelled Some twelve yeare old Tom. Her will was fifteene sir Seb. A pretty answere to cut of long discourse For I have many yet to aske ye of Where I can choose and nobly hold up your finger When ye are right what say ye to Vâ—â—â—â—iaâ— Whose husband lies a dying now Why two And in that forme Tom. Her husband iâ—â—ecovâ—â—'dâ— Seb. A witty morall have at ye once more Thomas The sisters of St. Albones all five dat boy Dat's mine ownâ— boy Dor. Now our upon thee Monster Tom. Still hoping of your pardon Seb. There needeâ— none man A straw on pardon prethâ—e â—â—â—d no pardon I le aske no more nor thinke no more of marriâ—ge For O my conscience I shal be thy Cuckold Ther 's some good yet leâ—t in him beaâ—e your selfe well You may recover me ther 's twenty pound sir I see some sparkles which may flame againe You may eat with me whâ—n you pleasâ— you know me Exit Seb. Dor. Why do you lye so damnably so foolishly Tom. Do'st thou long to have thy head broke hold thy peace And doe as I would have thâ—â—â— or by this hanâ— I 'le kill thy Parrat hang up thy small handâ— And drinke away thy dowry to a pâ—nny Dor. Was eyeâ— such a wilde Aâ—se Tho. Prethee be quiet Dor. And do'st thou think men will not bâ—at thee monstrously For abusing their wives and children Tom. And do'st thou thinke Mens wives and children can be abusâ—d too much Dor. I wonder at thâ—â— Tom. Nay thou shalt adjurâ— mâ— Before I have doneâ— Dor. How stand ye with your mistresse Thom. I shall stand neerer Ere I be twelve houres oldâ—â— ther 's my businesâ—e She is monstrous subtâ—le Doll Doll The divell I thinke Cannot out suâ—tle theâ— Tho. If he play fairâ— play Come you must helpâ— me preâ—ently Dor. I discard ye Tom. Thou shalt not slâ—â—â— noâ—â—ate Dor. I 'le no hand with ye No bawd to your abusâ—â— Thom. By this light Doll Nothing but in the way oâ— honesty Dor. Thoâ— never knew'st that roâ—dâ— I heaâ—â— your vigilâ—â— Tom. Sweet honey Doll if I doe not marry her Honestly marry
I prethee away thou know'st I am monstrous ticklish What do'st thou think I love to blast my buttocks Doll I 'le plague ye for this roguery for I know well What ye intend sir Tom. On with my Mufflerâ— Dol. Ye are a sweet Lady come let 's see you cuâ—tsieâ— What broke i' th â—um hold up your head Tom. Plague on 't I shall be pisse my breâ—ches if I cowre thâ—s Come am I ready Maid At all points as like sir As if you were my Mistris Dol. Who goes with ye Tom. None but my fortune and my selfe 〈◊〉 Dol. Blesse ye Now run thou for thy life and get before himâ— Take the by way and tell my Cosin Marie In what shape he intends to come to cozâ—n her I le follow at thy heeles my selfe flie wench Maid I le do it Exit Enter Sebastian and Thomas Dol. My Father has met himâ— thiâ— goes excellent And I le away in time looke to your â—kin Thomas Exit Seb. What are you growne so corne fâ—d gooddy Gillian You will not know your Father what vaga'res Have you in hand what out lâ—apes durâ—y heeles That at thesâ— houres of night ye must be gadding And through the Orchard take your private passageâ— What is the breeze in your breech or has your brother Appointed you an houre of meditation How to demeane himselfe get ye to bed drab Or I le so crab your shoulders ye demure slut Ye civill dish of sliced beefe get ye in Tho. I wy ' not that I wy ' not Seb. Is 't ev'n so Dame Have at ye with a nighâ— spell then Thâ—. Pray hold sir Seb. St. Geoge St. Georgeâ— our Ladies knight He walkes by day so do'â— he by night And when he had her found He her beat and her bound Vntill to him her troth she plighâ—â— She would not stir from him that night Tho. Nay then have at ye with a counter-spell From Elves Hobs â—nd â—ayriâ—s that trouble our Dayries From Fire-drakes and fiends and such as the divell sends Defend us heaven Exiâ—â— Enter Launcelot Lan Blesse my Master looke up sir I beseech ye Vp with your eâ—es to heavenâ— Seb. Vp with your nose sir I doe not bleed 't was a sound knock she gave me A plaguy mankinde girle how my braines totters Well go thy waies thou hast got one thoâ—â—and pound moâ—e With this dog tricke Miâ—e owne true spirit in her too Lan In her alas sir Alas poore gentlewoman she a hand so heavy To knocke ye like a Calfe down or so brave a courage To beat her father if you could belâ—eve sir Seb. Who wouldst thou make me beleeve it was the divell Lan One that spits fire as fast 〈◊〉 he sometimes sir And changes shapes as often your sonne Thomas Never wonder if it be not he straight hang me Seb. Heâ— if it be soâ— I 'le put thee in my Will and ther 's an end on 't Lan I saw his legs has Bootâ— on like a Player Vnder his wenches cloathâ— â—tis he 't is Thomas In his own sisters cloathsâ— sir and I can waâ—t him Sâ—b. No more words then wâ—'l watch himâ— thou'â—t not beleeve Lance How heartily glad I am Lan May ye be gladder But not tâ—is way sir Seb. No more words but watch him Exeunt Scena septima Enter Mary Dorothy and Maid Mar. VVHen comes he Doll Presently Mar. Then get you up Doll Away I 'le strait come to you is all ready Maid All Ma. Let the light stand far enough Maid 'T is placed so Ma. Stay you to entertaine him to his chamber But keep close wench he flyes at all Maid I warrant ye Mar. You need no more instruction Maid I am perfect Exâ—â—nt Scena secunda Enter Valentine and Thomas Thâ—. MOre stopâ— yâ—t â—â—re the fiend's my ghostly â—aâ—â—erâ— Old Valentine what wind 's in his poopeâ— Val. Lady You are met most happily O gentle Doll You must now doe me an especiall favour Tom. What is it Master Valentine I am â—orâ—ly troubled With a salt â—heumâ—â—alne i' my guâ—â—â— Val. I 'le tell ye And let it move you equally my blest Mistresse Vpon a slight occasion taking anger Tooke also to undoe me your Auntâ— Nunnery From whence by my perswasion to râ—deemâ— her Will be impossible nor have I liberty To come and visite her my good good Dorothy You are most powerfull with her and your Aunt too And have accesse at all houres liberally Speake now or never for me Tho. Iâ— a Nunnery That course must not be suffered Master Valentine Her mother never knew its rare sport for me Spoâ—â— upon sport by th' breake of day I 'le meet ye And feare not man wee 'l have â—er out I warrant ye I cannot stay now Val. You will not breake Tho. By no meaneâ— Good night Val. Good night kinde Mistresse Doll Exit Tho. This thâ—iveâ— well Every one takeâ— me for my siâ—â—er excellentâ— Thiâ— Nâ—â—â—eryâ— fal â—o pat too to my figure Where there â—e handsome wenches and they shall know it If once I creep in ere they get me out againe Stay her'â— the house and one of her Maids Enter Maâ—â— Maid Who 's there O Mistresse Dorothy you are a stranger Tho. Still Mistresse Dorothy this geere will cotton Maid Will you walke in foâ—sooâ—h Tho. Where is your Mistresse Maid Not very well she 's gone to bed I am glad You are come so fit to comfort her Tho. Yes Iâ—le comfort her Maid Pray make not much noise for she iâ— sure asleep You know your side creep softly in your company Will warme her well Tho. I warrant thee I 'le warme her Maid Your brother has been hâ—re the strangest fellâ—w Tho. A very rogue a ranke rogue Maid I 'le conduct ye Even to her chamber door and there commit ye Exeunt Scena Octava Enter Michael Francisâ— and Oâ—â—â—ers Mich. COme sir for this night I shall entertaine yeâ— And like a gentleman how ere your forâ—â—ne Hath cast ye on the worst part Fra. How you please sir I am resolv'd nor can a joy or misery Much move me now Mich. I am angry with my selfe now For putting this forc'd way â—non his patience Yet any other course had been too slenderâ— Yet what to thinke I know â—ot for most liberallyâ— He hath confess â— strange wrongs which if they prâ—ve 〈◊〉 How ere the others long love may forget allâ— Yet 't was most fit he should come back and this waâ— Drinke that and now to mâ— caâ—e leave your prisoâ—erâ— I 'le be his guard for this night Off. Good night to your worship Mich. Good night my honest friends Come sir I hope There shall be no such cause of such a sadnesse As you put on Fra. â—aith siâ— my rest is 〈◊〉 And what I now pull 〈◊〉 no more 〈◊〉 me Then if I plaid at span-counter nor is my face The map of any thing I seeme to suffer Lighter affections seldome dwell in me sâ—r Mich. A constant gentlemanâ— would I had taken