flattery as unbecoming men to no greater a person then a Bishop he answered that it was none of his fault but the Prelat's who carried his eares in his Feet Lord Wentworth AFter my Lord Wentworth Ancestor to the Earle of Cleveland had lost Calice through want of a sufficient Garrison being forced on a sudden by the Duke of Guise to a surrender who had failed of another great enterprise on Naples the Queen never dawed day but with the complaints of Quintili redde legiones render me Calice quite spent her selfe the Lord Chamberlain delivering her one night the Key she sighed and said this is not the key of Calice which was alwayes held for the Key of France Earle of Dorset ONE Captain Beale served my Lord with hats which he prized at high and excessive rates my Lord understanding by his Steward the rate of his bills sent for his Haberdasher Sir quoth my Lord what is your meaning to set me such prizes in which there is no conscience why my Lord quoth Captain Beale we citizens must ballance accounts if you do not pay me then you cheat me but if you do then I cheat your Lordship The grand Seignour DON John of Austria was Generall at the fight of Lepanto against the Turkes where he gave them a signall overthrow this being related to the Grand Seigniour who had lately taken the whole Kingdome of Cyprus from the Venetians he contentedly said that the losse of a Fleet to him was but as the shaving of his beard which would grow again but the losse of a Kingdom was like the lopping off a member Philip the second of Spain HE was of so rare a temper that after his invincible Armado was defeated upon the English Coasts and dispersed with winds driven about the Coast of Ireland back again upon the newes thereof he only said that he sent not out that Fleet to fight against the Windes Another time having writ expresses to Flanders when they were fairly copyed he gave them to his secretary to throw sand upon them who mistaking the box throw'd Ink in stead of it and wholly defaced them he said no more but went into his Chamber and transcribed them Colonel Massey IT is commonly reported that at the seige of Gloucester before the Citizens burnt down the suburbs after the King had summoned it Prince Rupert sent word to the Governour that if he yeilded not presently he would forthwith fire him out to which Collonel Massey returned let the Prince do so and I will meet and fight with him in the Flame Lady Lambert MUch talke there was of some familiarity betwixt Oliver Cromwell and my Lady Lambert upon the device of the Instrument of Government which was cheifly assisted by Lambert upon mutuall assurances that he should succeed in the protectorship when that project took effect in December 1653 it was said by a wag that Olivers Instrument was found in my Lady Lamberts Placket Olivers Commissioners of the Treasury THere was a great complaint of money as occasion enough in the publique receits as they called them in that Parliament which was called in 1656 great stir was made for a supply among the rest an Act was propounded for the better regulation of the Exchequer which some fingerers of that money as most of them were such would have only to look forward to the future management of it saith Thurloe the Secretary Gentlemen if a man hath lost his purse whether should he look backward or forward my Lord hath lost his Purse Harry Marten THis Antimonarchical Person being condemned for the execrable murther of King Charles was after sentence he coming in upon the Kings Proclamation brought before the House of Lords to shew cause why he should not suffer due execution of his judgement to which he returned answer that true it was he could not nor did expect any favour from that House whose extirpation he had endeavorured and as to the King he acknowledged he never had observed any of his or his predecessors Proclamations save one and for that he should be hanged Lord Bruce SIR Edward Sackvile afterwards Lord Dorset was challenged by this Lord to fight with him in the low Countreys upon some fend betwixt them in the duel they were both grievously wounded yet would not give over at last it was my Lord Dorsets fortune to throw him upon a close and having him at this advantage proffered him his life no quoth the Scotch Lord I scorne to accept it at the hands of an English man and I then scorne saith Dorset to give it to a Scotch man Monsiure Bellieure WHen the King was in the hands of the Scotch at Newcastle and bargained and sold by them to the English this Monsiure being the French Kings Ambassadour came thither and seeing the sale agreed upon departed at his going away Lashley sent a Guard of horse to bring him into the English Quarters where being arrived he called for the Corporall of the squadron and having a halfe Crown in his hand demanded of him what that peice was thirty pence Sir said he even for so much the Jewes betrayed our Saviour take this among you FINIS A TABLE OF THE NAMES OF Those PERSONS in these Collections  Folio HEnry the 8. 1 Queen Elizabeth 2 Lord Hunsden 3 Lord Treasurer 4 Lord cheife Justice 5 King Wardrope 6 Shoomaker no Gentleman 7 Sir William Clarke 8 Lord Spencer 9 Doctor Preston 10 Sir Thomas Moor. 11 Sir Horatio Pollavieini 13 Lord Bacon 14 Doctor Perne 15 Queen Elizabeth 17 Wood of Kent 18 Bishop Bancroft ibid A Pike 19 Apes 20 Lord William Ceeil 21 Master Sutton the founder of that Hospital 22 Sir Robert Dymock the Kings Champion 23 Sir Thomas Gresham 24 Cambridge Disputation 25 Sir John Cutts 26 The Countesse of Shrewsebury 27 Sir Arthur Chichester 28 Thomas Stukely 29 Earle of Oxford 30 A Bite 31 Master Richard Hackluit ibid Beggars Bush 32 Name 33 Sir Walter Rawleigh ibid An Italian Humor 34 Law Suit 35 Sir Francis Cheney 36 Earle of Carnarvon 37 Shipmoney 38 Coat of Armes 39 Extraction ibid Complement 40 King James 41 Bishops 42 Welchmen 43 Another ibid Bishop Gloucester 44 The Kings Porter 45 Parson Bull. 46 Lord Goring 47 Gentleman 48 Sir Henry Marten 49 Boots ibid Sir Gilbert Talbot 50 Sir Robert Naunton 51 A Learned Maide 52 Bishopricks 53 Marston Moore 54 Wales 55 Welch Gentleman ibid Lord Bacon 57 Another 58 Henry the 8. 59 Evesham Bridge 60. Organs 61. Queen Mary 62 Disputation 63 Lord Hunsdon 64 King Philip. 65 Terme 66 Stumps the Clothier 68 Sir Thomas Wyat. 69 Henry the 8. 71 King James a hunting 72 Sir Henry Rush 73 A Voyage 74 Hispaniola ibid Cardinal Wolsey 75 Ambition 76 A moral ibid Sir Thomas Roe 77 A Polish Ambassadour 78 Another 79 Another ibid Sr. Jerome Bowes 80 Another 81 A young Maide 82 A Spanish Captain 83 Margaret Countesse of Richmond 85 An Astrologer 86 An unadvised Statesman 87 Henry the
peice of Arras presenting the Sea-sight in 88. which at severall audiences of Ambassadors hath been used for magnificence in the banqueting House as in Cromwels usurpation and wherein were wrought the living portractures of the cheifest Commanders in that service on a time a Captain who highly prized himselfe and his valour in that naval fight coming to Court and missing his picture therein complained of the injury to his friend professing of himselfe that he merited a place there as well as some therein remembred for that he was engaged in the middle of the fight Be content said his friend thou hast been an old Pyrate and art reserved for another hanging A Shoomaker no Gentleman SIr Philip Calthrop a very merry Gentleman of the County of Norfolk being newly come from Court where he had observed the fashion to be upon great dayes in those times of Henry the seaventh to wear gownes of light coloured cloath sent to his Taylor in Norwich as much cloth of fine French Tawney as would make him such a vesture It happened one John Drakes a Shoomaker of some wealth coming into the shop liked it so well that he went bought of the same as much for himself enjoyning the Tailor to make it exactly after the fashion he made the Knights who sending for his Gowne by his servant he espied another of the same in the shop and enquiring whose it was the Master told him and the order he had for the making it up This being told sir Philip he sent a new command that the Taylor should cut in his as many holes and slashes as his knife and sheares could find place for and so send it him which he did and accordingly cut the Shoomakers in the very same manner and carried it home where Prince Crispin began to be wroth but understanding it was the mode that the Knights was made his combe fell saying he would be a Gentleman no more Sir William Clark SIR William Clark a Gentleman much conversant in Court a great Masquer and acceptable to the Ladies being a man of excellent shape and goodly feature and proportion was one night at a Masque in Whitball where were present King JAMES and Queen Anne after a scene or two he having some Office or charge for that night while the stage was free passed over to the other side about some businesse and with such a stately and strutting pace befitting his present employment that a Lady knowne unto him thinking to put a jeere upon him said Sir pray have a care you hurt not your selfe by stradling so wide I wonder what ayles you to whom he he presently and openly retorted In troth Madam if you had that betwixt your legs which I have it would make you straddle a great deal wider Lord Spencer RObert Lord Spencer Baron of Wormleighton being a Man of a quick and clear spirit speaking one day in Parliament of the valour of their English Ancestors in defending the Liberties of the Nation the Earle of Arundel stood up and replyed your Ancestors were keeping of sheep that Lord and his Predecessors being known for the greatest Sheep-masters in England when those Liberties were defended If they were a keeping of sheep returned the other yours were then in plotting of Treason This animosity for the present cost both of them a confinement yet so that afterwards the upper House ordered reparations to this Lord Spencer as first and causelessely provoked Doctor Preston DOctor Preston was the greatest Pupil-monger in England in Mans memory having sixteen fellow Commoners most Heires to faire estates admitted in one year in Queens Colledge and provided convenient accomodations for them As William the popular Earle of Nassaw Prince of Aurange was said to have won a subject from the King of Spain to his own party every time he put off his Hat so it was commonly said in the Colledge that every time Mr. Preston plucked off his Hat to Dr. Davenant the Master he gained a Chamber or Study for one of his Pupils among whom one Chambers a Londoner was eminent for his learning Being afterwards chosen himselfe Master of Emanuel Colledge he removed thither with most of his Pupils and when it was much admired where all these should find lodging in that Colledge which was so full already one replyed Mr. Preston will carry Chambers along with him Sir Thomas More SIR Thomas More being committed to the Tower for refusing the Oath of Supremacy being as in his time it was the custome and also to our memory observed that the Prisoners there were not dieted at their own but the Kings charges the Lieutenant of the Tower providing their food for them when the said Lieutenant one day said unto him by way of complement that he was sorry his Commons were no better I like said Sir Thomas the dyet very well and if I dislike it turn me out of Doores A Courtier coming to him while in restraint with proffer of mercy from the King if he would comply with his Majesties will and take the said Oath he replyed that His minde was now changed whereupon the Courtier departed and told the King that Sir Thomas would submit himself to his grace in that matter which the King willing to accept gave him order to repaire to the Tower again and receive it in a forme under his hand At his return challening Sir Thomas with his promise he wondring told him that he meant only by changing his minde that whereas he had resolved to shave himselfe before his Execution he would now let his beard suffer with his head to the abashment of the man who so confidently had informed the King of Sir Thomas his conversion The same Sir Thomas during his Chancellorship had his Lady well attended by a handsome retinue especially at going to Church living then in Chelsey where her Gentleman-usher alwayes after my Lord was out of his seat after Sermon used to wait upon his Lady telling her Madam my Lord is gone It hapned that upon this score of the supremacy sir Thomas was put from that dignity whereupon the next Sunday after as soon as Church was done having the week before dismist most of his servants intending to live privately he came to his Ladies Pew himselfe and said unto her alone in passing Madam my Lord is gone meaning the Chancellor and so walkt home before her Sir Pallavicin Horatio ONe Seignior Pallavicin a Genoese who lived in England a kin to Sir Horatio boasting of his Nobility and high extraction as descended from an illustrious House was thus answered by a blunt Citizen who from mean Parentage had risen to great wealth reputation and honor and so I saith he also am come of an illustrious House where the Sun constantly shone through the rotten walls and roofes thereof My Lord Bacon IT is storied of my Lord Bacon to his advantage that when he was Lord Chancellor he had two servants one in all causes Patron to the Plaintiffe whom charity presumed always
her a Goat was espied by a merry fellow one of her Warders to be walking alone with her where upon taking the goat on his shoulders he in all hast hurried him to Sir Harry I pray said he examine this fellow whom I found walking with her Grace but what talke they had I know not not understanding his Language he seems to me a stranger and I believe a Welchman by his freize Coat Another THomas ap William ap Thomas ap Richard ap Howell ap Evan ap Vaughan c. Esquire being born of Worshipfull parentage at Moston in this County was empannelled of a Jury by the aforesaid Names in the reign of King Henry the Eight whereupon by the advice of the Judge his name was contracted he consenting to it into Moston the place of his Nativity and ancient Inheritance This leading case was a precedent to the practice of other Gentrey in Wales who leaving their Pedigrees at Home carry only one Sir-name abroad with them whereby much time especially in winter when the dayes are short is gained for better employment Bishop of Gloucester DOctor Goodman Bishop Gloucester in the raign of King Charles the first when he dyed declared himselfe by his will a Roman Catholick an intimation whereof he gave at the convocation in 1640. where he refused to subscribe the Canons and was therefore and for other Erroneous opinions inprisoned by his Brother Prelates was wont to say complayning of our first Reformers that Bishop Ridley was a very odd Man to whom one presently returned He was indeed an odd Man my Lord for all the Popish party in England could not match him with his equall in learning and Religion The Kings Porter WIlliam Evans Porter to King Charls the first was a Welchman of Monmouthshire and may justly be accounted a Giant for his stature being full 2. yards and a halfe in height He succeeded Walter Parsons who would take two of the biggest of the Guard under each arme as a liver and gizard and so carry them exceeded him 2. inches in Height but far beneath him in an equall proportion of body for he was not only what the Latines call Compernis knocking his knees together and going out squalling with his feet but also bandylegd a little yet he made a shift to dance at an Antimasque in Court where he drew little Jeffery out of his pocket first to the wonder then to the laughter of the Beholders Parson Bull. UPON the happy and most auspicious restauration of our Soveraign to his Kingdomes one Parson Bull a Minister who had as loyally as learnedly maintained and asserted his Majesties cause had a benefice of some value conferred on him by the Kings gift but before his Patent could be sealed the Lord Chancellour upon some presentation had disposed it or some way it happened that he was hindred so that the Parson had spent all his money in towne in attending of it One day therefore seeing his money grew short he put his hand in his pocket and finding nothing there but the Kings Grant with his hand to it he went confidently to his Majesty and told Him that he had lost all the money out of his pocket and found none but his Majesties hand therein at which the King smiled and asked him if his business was not dispatched he replied no Thereupon he was expressely recommended to the Chancellour for expedition of his Patent who at his addresse understanding him to be a wit said unto him pray what 's your name Bull said the Parson where are then your Hornes said my Lord if it please your Lordship replyed he the Hornes alwayes go with the Hide Lord Goring GEorge Earle of Norwich Lord Goring being sentenced by the High Court of justice for that same crime of Loyalty with the ever Honourable Lord Capell for their most noble defence of the Town Colchester in 1648. was at the point of death by the potent intercession of the Spanish Ambassador reprieved from Execution which Duke Hambleton Earle of Holland and Lord Capell deplorably suffered This Earle being visited after this reprieve and asked how he did answered I had thought to have pulled off my Doublet but now I have leisure to Hooke up my Breeches A Gentleman A Gentleman coming to Court as he was lighting out of his Coach asked a Page or Lacquy that retained to some Person therein very hastily what a Clock it was to whom the lad said Sir what will you give me then The Gentleman wondering at the boy asked him what he meant by it Sir saith he I would not have you mistake your selfe We Courtiers doe nothing without money Sir Henry Martin SIR Henry Martin Father to the unfortunate Harry Martin a criminal in the horrid murder of the King was a very fine Gentleman and a very learned Person By King James he was worthily advanced in the sphere of his study the civil Lawes wherein he was very eminent to be Judge of the Prerogative for Probate of Wills and also of the admiralty in Cases concerning foreign traffique so that as King James used to say pleasantly That he Sir Henry was a mighty Monarch in his jurisdiction over Land and Sea the living and the dead Boots WHen Doctor John Gostin was last Vice Chancellor of Cambridge being Master of Caius Colledge and an excellent Physician it was highly penal for any Scholar to appear in Boots it being not thought civil Now a Scholar undertook for a small wager much beneath the penalty to addresse himselfe booted to the vice Chancellor which was thought a dangerous presumption so carrying an Urinal in his hand he craved his advice for a cure of an hereditary numnesse in his Legs which he was fain to keep thus warm The Doctor pittyed him and dismist him with a remedy to boot with his wager Sir Gilbert Talbot SIR Gilbert Talbot being made Governor of Calis by King Henry the eight upon some advice or suspition that the French had some sudden design upon the place by surprisal was commanded peremptorily that presently and carefully he should look to his charge and fortifie the Town to whom sir Gilbert replyd being unprovided of necessaries as briefly as bluntly That without money he could neither fortify nor fiftify Sir Robert Naunton ONE Master Wiemark a wealthy Man a great Newes-monger and constant Pauls walker hearing the newes that day of the beheading of Sir Walter Rawleigh His head said he would do very well on the shoulders of Sir Robert Naunton then Secretary of State to King James These words were complained of and Wiemark summoned to the Privy Councel where he pleaded for himselfe that he intended no disrespect to Master Secretary whose known worth was above all detraction Only he spake in reference to an old proverb Two heads are better then one And so for the present he was dismissed Not long after when rich men were called on for a Contribution for St. Pauls Wiemark at the Councel Table subscribed a hundred
to dissemble himselfe a stranger to that Ceremony demanded of a stander-by what that Knight said to whom the party returned He challengeth any man to fight with him who dares deny your Highnesse to be the lawfull King of England If he will not fight with such a one said the King I will Sir Thomas Gresham OSterley House was built by Sir Thomas Gresham now it is Sir William Wallers where Sir Thomas entertained Queen Elizabeth Being there Her Majesty found fault with the Court of the House as too great affirming that it would appear more handsome if divided with a wall in the midle What doth Sir Thomas but in the night time sends for workmen from London who so silently and speedily followed their work that the next morning discovered that Court double which the night had left single before the Queen was very well pleased while a Courtier disported her with this quibble that it was no wonder he could so soon change a building who could build a Change Disputation AT an extraordinary Act of Divinity kept at Cambridge before King James when Dr. John Davenant was Answerer and Dr. Richardson amongst others the Oposer the Question was maintained in the Negative concerning the excommunication of Kings Dr. Richardson vigorously pressed the practice of St. Ambrose excommunicating the Emperour Theodosius insomuch that the King in some passion returned Truly it was most insolently done by St. Ambrose to whome Dr. Richardson replied This is a Majestick answer and befitting Alexander this is not to untie but cut the argument Sir John Cuts SIR John Cuts of Cambridg-shire was a most bountifull house-keeper as any of his estate insomuch that Queen Elizabeth in the beginning of her Reign whilest yet she had peace with Spain the sicknesse being at London ordered the Spanish Embassadour to this Knights house the Embassadour coming thither and understanding his name to be John Cuts conceived himselfe disparaged to be sent to one of so short a name the Spanish Gentlemen generally having voluminous names helpt and stuft out with Titles usually adding the place of their habitation for the elongation thereof But soon after that the Don found that what the Knight lacked in length of name he made up in the largnesse of his entertainment The Countesse of Shrewsbury MAry Queen of Scots Mother of King James being committed to the keeping of George Earle of Shrewsbury who had married a Lady of a notable pregnant and undaunted spirit the custody of so great a Princesse on the Earles cost was quickly by her found to be chargeable and which was worse dangerous the Papists of the kingdome daily practising her enlargement it hapned this Countesse coming to the Court Queen Elizabeth demanded of her how the Queen of Scots did Madam said she she cannot doe ill while she is with my Husband and I begin to grow jealous they are so great together Whereupon the Queen who liked not any familiarity of that royal Prisoner with so great and potent a Peer ordered her removall thence into the custody of others Sir Arthur Chichester SIR Arthur Chichester once Lord Deputy of Ireland being recalled thence was sent Ambassador to the Emperor by King James about that labour in vain of the Palatinate returning thence the place where he was the City of Maynchin was besieged by Count Tilly the Emperor's Generall to whom my Lord Chichester sent word that it was against the Law of Nations to besiege an Ambassador Tilly replyed That he took no notice he was an Ambassador the other rejoyned by the Messenger Had my Master sent me with as many hundred men as he hath sent me on fruitlesse messages hither your Generall should have known that I had been as well a Souldier as an Ambassador Thomas Stukely THomas Stukely the famous Glorioso was a younger Brother of an ancient wealthy and worshipfull Family neer Ilfracombe in the County of Devon having prodigally mispent his Patrimony he entred on severall projects which centred in a designe and perswasion of his being a Prince In this he was so confident that be blushed not to tell Queen Elizabeth that he preferred rather to he Soveraign of a Mole-hill then to be the highest Subject to the greatest King in Christendome adding moreover that he was assured he should be a Prince before his death I hope said Queen Elizabeth I shall hear from you when you are stated in your principality I will write unto you quoth Stukely In what language said the Queen He returned in the stile of Princes To our dear Sister Earle of Oxford HEnry Vere the seventeenth of that name Earle of Oxford and the last Lord Chamberlain of England of his Family whose sturdy nature would not bow to Court Complements but maintain what he spake came one day to the Court with a great milk white Feather about his Hat which was then somewhat unusuall save that a person of his merit might make a fashion a Lord an Enemy to his Family and one whose ancestors were blemished said in a way of jeer to him My Lord you wear a very fair Feather It is true said the Earl and if you mark it there 's ne're a Taint in it Indeed that Noble Family deserve their Motto Vero nil verius A Bite TWO Gentlemens Servants falling out one belonging to a Courtier of great place another to a Countrey Esquire fell at last to vye the noblenesse of their Masters and their superiority saith the one My master spends more in Mustard then thine in Beef whereunto the other returned The more sawcy men his Followers Mr. Richard Hackluit Mr. Richard Hackluit a very memorable person who writ that book of the English Voyages so usefull for all Sea-Men for which he deserves well of this Nation dying left a very fair Estate to an unthrift Son who embezilled it all away in a shamlesse manner vanting that be had cheated the covetous Usurer who had given him spick and span new money for the old land of his great great Grandfather Beggars Bush THere is a place called Beggars Bush in Huntingtonshire grown into a Proverb This is the way to Beggars Bush it happened that King James being in progresse in those parts with Sir Francis Bacon the Lord Chancellour having heard that morning that my Lord had prodigiously rewarded a mean man for a small present Sir Francis said he You will quickly come to Beggars Bush and I may even go along with you if both be so bountifull Name ONE immoderately boasted that there was not any of his name in all England and yet he was a Gentleman to whome one in the company returned I am sorry Sir you have never a good man of your name Sir Walter Rawleigh SIR Walter Rawleighs first admittance to Queen Elizabeths favour was from this occasion he was one day at Court after his coming out of Ireland in a very good habit his cloaths were then a considerable part of his Estate and there found the Queen walking till meeting