The VVise-woman Of HOGSDON A COMEDIE As it hath been sundry times Acted with great Applause Written by THO HEYVVOOD Aut prodesse solent aut Delectare LONDON Printed by M. P. for Henry Shephard and are to be sold at his Shop in Chancerie-Lane at the Signe of the Bible between Serjeants-Inne and Fleet-Street 1638 Drammatis Personae Young Chartley A wild-headed Gentleman Boyster a blunt fellow Sencer a conceited Gentleman Haringfield a Civill Gentleman Luce a Gold-Smithes Daughter Luce's Father a Gold-Smith Joseph the Gold-Smith Apprentice Old Master Chartley Young Chartleyes man Old Charleyes man Sir Harry A Knight who is no piece of a Scholler Gratiana Sir Harryes Daughter Taber Sir Harryes man Sir Boniface an ignorant Pedant or Schoolmaster The Wisewoman of Hogsdon who beares the name of the Dramma A Countryman Clyent to the Wisewoman A Kitchin-mayd and two Citizens Wives that come to the Wisewoman for counsell THE WISE-VVOMAN OF HOGSDON Actus primus Scena prima Enter as newly come from play foure young Gentlemen Master Chartley Master Sencer M. Boyster and Master Haringfield Chartley. PRice of my life now if the Devill have bones these Dyce are made of his Was ever such a cast seene in this Age Could any Gull in Europe saving my selfe fling such a cast Boyster Eye Chartley No Boyster Yes Chart. But I say no I have lost an hundred pound And I will have my saying Boyst. I have lost an other hundred I le have mine Ey yes I flung a worse a worse by oddes Chart. I cry you mercy sir loosers may speake I le not except gainst you but let me see Which of these two that pocket up our Cash Dares contradict me Sencer. Sir not I I say you have had bad casting Haring. So say I Chart. I say this Hatt 's not made of wooll Which of you all dares say the contrary Sencer It may bee t is a Beaver Haring Very likely so 't is not Wooll but a plaine Beaver Chart. 'T is Wooll but which of you dares say so would faine picke a quarrell with them to get some of my money againe but the slaves slaues they have got it are too wise to part with it I say it is not blacke Haring So say wee too Boyst. T is false his Cap 's of Wooll 't is blacke and Wooll and Wooll and blacke Chart. I have nought to say to losers Have I nothing left to set at a Cast Ey finger Must you be set in gold and not a jot of silver in my purse A Bale of fresh Dice Hoe come at this Ring Sencer. Fie M. Chartley 't is time to give over Chart. That 's the Winners phrase Hold me play Or hee that hath uncrown'd me I le take a speedie order with him Boyst. Fresh dice this Iewell I will venture more Take this and all I le play in spight of lucke Haring Since you will needs trip for the Dice I see it is hard to goe a winner from this company Chart. The Dice are mine This Diamond I valew at twentie markes I le venture it at a throw Haring 'T is for you Chart. Then at all All 's mine Nay M. Boyster I barre you let us worke upon the winners Gramercy Sinks Nay though I owe you no quarrell yet you must give mee leave to draw Haring. I had rather you should draw your sword Then draw my money thus Chart. Againe sweet Dice nay I barre swearing Gentlemen let 's play patiently Well this At the Candlesticke so Chartley throwes out Boyst. Now Dice at all To tho quoth the Spaniard Senc Here 's precious lucke Boyst Why Via I thinke t is Quicke-siluer It comes and goes so fast there 's life in this Haring Hee passes all with Trayes Chart. With Trayes how say by that Oh hee 's old dogge at Bowles and Trayes Senc Lend me some money be my halfe one Cast I le once out-brave this Gamester with a throw So now the Dice are mine wil t be my halfe Haring I will Senc. Then once I le play the Franck Gamester Let mee but see how much you both can make And I le cast at all all every Crosse Chart Now blesse us all what will you every Crosse Senc. I will not leave my selfe one Crosse to blesse me Boyst. I set Chart. And so doe I Senc. Why then at all How He flings out Chart. Nay sweare not le ts play patiently Senc. Damn'd Dice did ever Gamester see the like Boyst. Never never Senc. Was ever knowne such Casting Chart. Drunke nor sober I ne're saw a man cast worse Senc. I le prove this Hat of mine an Helmet Which of you here dares say the contrary Chart: As faire an Helmet as any man in Europe Needs to weare Senc. Chartley thy Hat is blacke Chart. Vpon better recollection 't is so indeed Senc. I say 't is made of Wooll Chart True my losing had tooke away my Senses Both of Seeing and Feeling but better lucke Hath brought them to their right temper But come a pox of Dice 't is time to give over Senc. All times are times for winners to give over But not for them that lose I le play till midnight But I will change my lucke Haring Come come you shall not Give over tush give over doe I pray And chuse the Fortune of some other hower Let 's not like debosht fellowes play our Clothes Belts Rapiers nor our needfull ornaments 'T is childish not becomming Gentlemen Play was at first ordayn'd to passe the time And sir you but abuse the use of Play To employ it other wise Sencer. You may perswade me For once I le leave a looser Chart. Then come put on your Helmet let 's leave this abominable Game and find out some better Exercise I cannot indure this chafing when men loose Senc. And there 's not a more testie waspish Companion then thy selfe when thou art a looser and yet thou must bee vexing others with Play patiently Gentlemen and le ts have no swearing Chart. A signe that I can give good counsell better than take it but say Where be the prettiest wenches my hearts Senc. Well remembred this puts mee in mind of an appointment I had with a Gentlewoman of some respect Chart. I have you sir I have you but I think you will never have her 't is Gratiana the Knights daughter in Gracious Street Have I toucht you Senc. You have come somewhat neere me but toucht me not Master Haringfield will you beare me company thither Have you seene the Gentlewoman M. Chartley Chart. Never sir Sencer. How have you heard of her Chart. That shee hath as other women have That she goes for a Mayd as others doe c. Senc. I can assure you shee is a proper Gentlewoman Chart. Then if she have you she is like to have a proper Gentleman Senc. You should tell them so that know it not Adjew Gentlemen Ex. Sencer and Haring Boyster I am glad yet they goe so lightly away Chart. What will you doe
of me I le act them naturally Wisewo. I have conceited to have Luce married to this blunt Gentleman shee mistaking him for Chartley and Chartley shall marry thee being a Boy and take thee for Luce Wilt not be excellent 2. Luce. Oh super super-excellent Wisewo. Play but thy part as I le act mine I le fit him with a Wife I warrant him 2. Luce. And a Wife I le warrant him Exeunt Enter Old Sir Harry and his man Taber Sir Har. Ha then thou sawest them whispering with my Daughter Tab. I saw them if it shall please you not whisper but Sir Har. How then thou knave Taber Marry Sir Knight I saw them in sad talke but to say they were directly whispering I am not able Sir Har. Why Taber that sad talke was whispering Taber Nay they did not greatly whisper for I heard what was said and what was said I have the wit to keepe to my selfe Sir Har. What said the unthrift Taber tell me knave Tell me good knave what did the unthrift say Taber I am loath to be call'd in question about men and womens matters but as soone as ever he saw your Daughter I heard what was spoke Sir Har. Here sirra take thy Quarters wages afore-hand and tell me all their words and what their greeting was at their first encounter hold thine hand Taber Thankes Noble Sir and now I le tell you Your daughter being walking to take the aire of the fields and I before her whom should wee meet just in the nicke Sir Har. Iust in the nicke man Taber In the high-way I meant Sir Sir Har. Ha and what conference past betwixt them Taber Taber As well as my Pipe can utter you shall know Sir This Gentleman meeting with my yong Mistris full butt imagine you were she and I yong Master Sencer now there you come and here I meet you he comes in this manner and put off his hat in this fashion Sir Har. I but what said hee Taber Be with you faire Gentlewoman and so goes quite away and scarse so much as once look'd backe and if this were language to offer to a yong Ladie judge you Sir Har. But spake hee nothing else Taber Nothing as I am true Sir Har. Why man all this was nothing Taber Yes Sir it was as much as my Quarters wages afore-hand Enter Master Sencer Master Haringfield and Gratiana Grat. Here are two Gentlemen with great desire Crave conference with my Father here he is Now Gallants you may freely speake your minds Senc. Save you Sir my name is Sencer I am a Northampton-shire Gentleman borne to a thousand pound Land by the yeare I love your Daughter and I am come to crave your good-will Sir Har. Have you my Daughters that you covet mine Senc. No Sir but I hope in time I shall have Sir Har. So hope not I Sir Sir my Daughter 's yong and you a Gentleman unknowne Sencer ha Sencer O Sir your name I now remember well 't is rank't 'mongst thrifts dicers swaggerers and drunkards were not you brought before me some moneth since for beating of the Watch by the same token I sent you to the Counter Senc. I confesse my selfe to have beene in that action but note the cause Sir you could not have pleasur'd mee so much in giving mee a piece of gold as at the same time to helpe me to that Counter Sir Har. Why Sir what cause had you to beat the Watch and raise a midnight tumult in the streets Senc. Nay but heare mee sweet Sir Harry Being somewhat late at Supper at the Miter the doores were shut at my Lodging I knock't at three or foure places more all were a-bed and fast Innes Tavernes none would give me entertainment Now would you have had me dispair'd and layne in the streets No I bethought me of a tricke worth two of that and presently devis'd having at that time a charge of money about me to be lodg'd and safely too Sir Har. As how I pray you Senc. Marry thus I had knockt my heeles against the ground a good while knew not where to have a Bed for love nor money Now what did I but spying the Watch went and hit the Constable a good sowse on the Eare who provided me of a lodging presently and the next day being brought before your Worship I was then sent thither backe againe where I lay three or foure dayes without controule Sir Har. O y' are a Gallant is that Gentleman A Suitor too Haring. I am a Suitor in my friends behalfe No otherwise I can assure you Sir He is a Gentleman discended well Deriv'd from a good house well quallify'd And well possest but that which most should move you Hee loves your Daughter Grat But were I to chuse Which of these two should please my fancie best I sooner should affect this Gentleman For his mad carriage and his faire discourse Then my hot Suitor Ruffians I detest A smooth and square behaviour likes mee best Senc. What say you to me Lady Gratian. You had best aske my Father what I should say Senc. Are you angry sweet Lady that I ask't your Fathers consent Grat. No if you can get his consent to marry him shall it displease mee Haring. Indeed you therein much forget your selfe To sound her Father e're you tasted her You should have first sought meanes for her good-will And after compast his Sir Har. He can prevaile with neither Gentlemen If you will come to revell you are welcome If to my Table welcome if to use mee In any gratefull Office welcome too But if you come as Suitors there 's the doore Senc. The doore Sir Har. I say the doore Senc. Why Sir tell not me of your doore nor going out of it your companie is faire and good and so is your Daughters I le stay here this twelve-moneth e're I le offer to trouble your doore Sir Har. Sir but you shall not Taber where 's that knave Senc. Why Sir I hope you doe not meane to make us dance that you call for a Taber Haring. Nay Master Sencer doe not urge the Knight Hee is incenst now chuse a fitter houre And tempt his love in that old men are testie Their rage if stood against growes violent But suffred and forborne confounds it selfe Sir Har. Where 's Taber Taber At hand noble Master Sir Har. Shew them the doore Taber That I will and take money too if it please them Senc. Is thy name Taber Taber I am so eclip't Sir Senc. And Taber are you appointed to give us Iacke Drum's entertainment Taber Why sir you doe not play upon me Sencer Though I cannot yet I have knowne an Hare that could But Knight thou doest not forbid us the House Sir Har. Yes and forewarne it too Sencer. But by thy favour wee may chuse whether we will take any warning or no Well farewell olde Knight though thou forbidst mee thine house I le honour thee and extoll thee and though thou keepst mee
from thy Daughter thou shalt not hinder mee to love her and admire her and by thy favour sometimes to see her A Catt may looke at a King and so may I at her Give me thine hand Knight the next time I come into thy company thou shalt not onely bid me welcome but hire mee to stay with thee and thy daughter Sir Har. When I doe that enjoy my full consent To marry Graciana Sencer. T is a match strike mee lucke Wife that may bee farewell Father in law that Must bee adiew Taber play before my friend And I will daunce after Exeunt Sir Har. When I receive thee gladly to mine house And wage thy stay thou shalt have Gratiana Doubt not thou shalt Here 's a strange Humourist To come a wooing Taber are they gone Tab. I have plaid them away if it please your Worship and yonder at the doore attends a Schoolmaster you sent for him if you remember to teach my little yong Master and Mistris Sir Har. A proper Scholler pray him to come neare Enter a pedanticall Schoolmaster Sir Boniface Sir Bonif. Eques Honoratus Aue fulutatus non uideo quid est in Tergo sed salve bona virgo Sir Har. Sir you may call me nick-names if you love me speake in your Mother-tongue or at the least if Learning be so much ally'd unto you that Latine unawares flowes from your lips to make your mind familiar with my knowledge pray utter it in English what 's your name Sir Bonif. Sit faustum tibi omen I le tell you my Nomen Sir Har. Will you tell it to no men I le entertaine none e're I know their names Nay if you be so dainty of your name You are not for my service Sir Bonif. Intende uir nobilis Sir Har. Not for twenty Nobles Trust me I will not buy your name so deare Sir Bon. O Ignorantia what it is to deale with stupidity Sir Henry Sir Henry heare me one word I see Precepter legit uos vero negligitis Tab. I thinke he saith we are a companie of fooles and Nigits but I hope you shall not find us such Master Schoolmaster Sir Har. Friend friend to cut off all vaine circumstance Tell me your name and answer me directly Plainly and to my understanding too Or I shall leave you here 's a deale of gibberish Sir Bonif. Vir bone Sir Har. Nay nay make me no bones but do 't Sir Bonif. Then in plaine vulgar English I am call'd Sir Boniface Absee Sir Har. Why this is somewhat like Sir Boniface Give me thine hand thou art a proper man And in my judgement a great Scholler too What shall I give thee by the yeare Sir Bonif. I le trust Sir to your generosity I will not bargaine but account my selfe Mille mille modis bound to you Sir Har. I cannot leave my Mils they 'r farm'd already The stipend that I give shall be in money Taber Sure Sir this is some Miller that comes to undermine you in the shape of a Schoolmaster Grat. You both mistake the Scholler Sir Har. I understand my English that I know What 's more then Moderne doth surpasse my reach Sir Boniface come to me two dayes hence You shall receive an answer I have now Matters of some import that trouble me Thou shouldst be else dispatch't Taber Sir Boniface if you come to live in our house and be a Familist amongst us I shall desire you better acquaintance your Name and my Phisnomy should have some consanguinitie good Sir Boniface Sir Bonif. Quomodo vales quomodo vales Taber Goe with you to the Ale-house I like the motion well I le make an excuse out of doores and follow you I am glad yet we shall have a Good-fellow come into the house amongst us Sir Bonif Vale vir Magno Sir Har. You shall not have me at Saint Magnes my house is here in Gracious-street Sir Bonif. I know it sweet Knight I know it Then virgo formosa Domine gratiose valete Sir Har. Ey in Gracious-street you shall heare of me Sir Bonif. He shall instruct my children and to thee Faire Gratiana reade the Latine tongue Taber Who shall Sir Bawdy-face Sir Har. Sir Boniface you foole Taber His name is so hard to hit on Sir Har. Come Daughter if things fall out as I intend My thoughts shall peace have and these troubles end Exeunt Explicit Actus secundus Actus tertius Scena prima Enter the second Luce which was Iack in womans apparell and the Wise-woman Wisewo. Iack thou art my Boy 2. Luce. Mistris Wisewo. I le be a Mother to thee no Mistris come Lad I must have thee sworne to the orders of my house and the secrets thereof 2. Luce. As I am an honest Lad I am yours to command But Mistris what meane all these womens pictures hang'd here in your withdrawing roome Wisewo. I le tell thee Boy marry thou must be secret When any Citizens or yong Gentlemen come hither under a colour to know their Fortunes they looke upon these pictures and which of them they best like she is ready with a wet finger here they have all the furniture belonging to a privat-chamber bedde bed-fellow and all but mum thou knowest my meaning Iacke 2. Luce. But I see comming and going Maids or such as goe for Maids some of them as if they were ready to lie downe sometimes two or three delivered in one night then suddenly leave their Brats behind them and conveigh themselves into the Citie againe what becomes of their Children Wisewo. Those be Kitchin-maids and Chamber-maids and sometimes good mens Daughters who having catcht a clap and growing neare their time get leave to see their friends in the Countrey for a weeke or so then hither they come and for a matter of money here they are delivered I have a Mid wife or two belonging to the house and one Sir Boniface a Deacon that makes a shift to christen the Infants we have poore honest and secret Neighbours that stand for common Gossips But dost not thou know this 2. Luce. Yes now I doe but what after becomes of the poore Infants Wisewo. Why in the night we send them abroad and lay one at this mans doore and another at that such as are able to keepe them and what after becomes of them we inquire not And this is another string to my Bowe 2. Luce. Most strange that womans brain should apprehend Such law lesse indirect and horrid meanes For covetous gaine How many unknowne Trades Women and men are free of which they never Had Charter for but Mistris are you so Cunning as you make your selfe you can Neither write nor reade what doe you with hose Bookes you so often turne over Wisew. Why tell the leaves for to be ignorant and seeme ignorant what greater folly 2. Luce. Beleeve me this is a cunning Woman neither hath shee her name for nothing who out of her ignorance can foole so many that thinke themselves wise But wherefore
M. Boyster Boyst. Somewhat Chart. You will not acquaint me with your businesse Boyst. No I am in love my head is full of Proclamations There is a thing call'd a Virgin Nature hath shewed her Art in making her Court her I cannot but I le doe as I may Chart. Doe you goe or stay sir Senc. Goe Exit Sencer. Chart. You before I le follow He thinkes with his blunt humour to enter as farre as I with my sharpe No my true Trojan no There is a faire sweet modest rogue her name is Luce with this Dandiprat this pretty little Apes face is yon blunt fellow in love and no marvell for shee hath a Browe bewitching Eyes ravishing and a Tongue enchanting And indeed shee hath no fault in the world but one and that is shee is honest and were it not for that shee were the onely sweet Rogue in Christendome As I live I love her extreamely and to enjoy her would give any thing But the foole stands in her owne light and will doe nothing without Marriage but what should I doe marrying I can better indure Gives than Bands of Matrimonie But in this Meditation I am glad I have wonne my Money againe Nay and shee may be glad of it too for the Girle is but poore and in my pockett I have layd up a Stocke for her 't is put to use alreadie And if I meete not with a Dyce-house or an Ordinary by the way no question but I may increase it to a summe Well I le unto the Exchange to buy her some prettie Noveltie That done I le visite my little Rascall and sollicite instantly Exeunt Actus primus Scena secunda Enter Luce in a Semsters shop at worke vpon a lac'd Handkercher and Joseph a Prentice Luce. Where is my Father Ioseph Ioseph Mistresse above And prayes you to attend below a little Luce. I doe not love to sit thus publikely And yet upon the traffique of our Wares Our provident Eyes and presence must still wayte Doe you attend the shop I le ply my worke I see my father is not jelous of me That trusts mee to the open view of all The reason is hee knowes my thoughts are chast And my care such as that it needes the awe Of no strict Overseer Enter M. Boyster Boyst. Yonder 's Luce Save thee Luce. And you too sir y' are welcom want you ought I pray in which our Trade may furnish you Boyst. Yes Luce. Ioseph shew the Gentleman Boyst. T is heere that I would buy Luce. What doe you meane sir speak what i st you lack I pray you wherefore doe you fixe your eyes So firmely in my face what would you have Boyst. Thee Luce. Mee Boyst. Yes thee Luce. Your pleasure is to jest and so I take it Pray give me leave sir to intend my worke Boyst. You are fayre Luce. You flout mee Boyst. You are goe too you are I de vexe him that should say the contrary Luce. Well you may say your pleasure Boyst. I love thee Luce. Oh Sir Boyst. As I live I doe Luce. Now as I am a true Maid The most religious oath that I dare sweare I hold my selfe indebted to your love And I am sorry there remaines in mee No power how to requite it Boyst. Love mee prethee now doe if thou canst Luce. I cannot Boyst. Prethee if thou canst Luce. Indeed I cannot Boyst. Yet aske thine heart and see what may be done Luce. In troth I am sorry you should spend a sigh For my sake unrequited or a teare Ey or a word Boyst. 'T is no matter for my words they are not many And those not very wise one's neither Luce. Yet I beseech you spend no more in vaine I scorne you not Disdaines as farre from mee As are the two Poles distant therefore Sir Because I would not hold you in suspence But tell you what at first to trust unto Thus in a word I must not fancie you Boyst. Must-not Luce. I cannot nor I may not Boyst. I am gone Thou hast given me Luce a Bone to gnaw upon Exit Luce Alas that Beauty should be sought of more Then can injoy it might I have my wish I would seeme faire but onely in his eye That should possesse mee in a Nuptiall tye Enter yong Master Chattley with Gloues Ring Purse etc. Chartl. Morrow Luce In exchange of this kisse see what I have brought thee from the Exchange Luce. What meane you Sir by this Chart. Guesse that by the circumstance here 's a Ring weare 't for my sake twenty Angels pocket them you foole come come I know thou art a Maid say nay and take them Luce. Sweet Master Chartley doe not fasten on me More then with ease I can shake off your Gift I reverence yet refuse and I pray tell mee Why doe you make so many Errands hither Send me so many Letters fasten on me So many favours what 's your meaning in 't Char. Harke in thine eare I le tell thee nay heare me out is 't possible so soft a body should have so hard a soule Nay now I know my penance you will be angry and schoole me for tempting your modesty a figge for this modesty it hinders many a good man from many a good turne that 's all the good it doth If thou but knewst Luce how I love thee thou wouldst be farre more tractable Nay I barre chiding when you speake I le stop thy lips if thou dost but offer an angry word by this hand I le do 't and with this hand too Goe to now what say you Luce. Sir if you love me as you say you doe Shew me the fruits thereof Chart. The stocke I can thou maist see the fruits hereafter Luce. Can I beleeve you love mee when you seeke The ship wrack of mine Honour Chart. Honour there 's another word to flap in a mans mouth Honour what shouldst thou and I stand upon our Honour that were neither of us yet Right Worshipfull Luce. I am sorry Sir I have lent so large an eare To such a bad discourse and I protest After this houre never to doe the like I must confesse of all the Gentlemen That ever courted mee you have possest The best part in my thoughts but this course language Exiles you quite from thence Sir had you come In stead of changing this mine honest name Into a Strumpets to have honoured me With the chaste Title of a Modest Wife I had reserv'd an eare for all your suits But since I see your rudenesse finds no limit I leave you to your lust Chart. You shall not Luce Luce. Then keepe your tongue within more moderate bounds Chart. I will as I am vertuous I will I told you the second word would be Marriage It makes a man forfeit his Freedome and makes him walke ever after with a Chaine at his heeles or a Iack-an-Apes hanging at his elbow Marriage is like Dedalus his labyrinth and being once in there 's no finding the way
professe that Art should be deepe Schollers What reading can this simple Woman have T is palpable grosse foolery Kitchin Now friend your businesse Taber I have stolne out of my Masters house forsooth with the Kitchin-Mayd and I am come to know of you whether it be my fortune to have her or no Wisewo And what 's your suit Lady Kitchin Forsooth I come to know whether I be a Maid or no Wisewo. Why art thou in doubt of that Kitchin It may bee I have more reason then all the world knowes Taber Nay if thou com'st to know whether thou beest a Maid or no I had best aske to know whether I be with child or no Wisew. Withdraw into the Parlour there I le but talke with this other Gentlewoman and He resolve you presently Taber Come Sisty if shee cannot resolve thee I can and in the Case of a Mayden-head doe more then shee I warrant thee Exeunt The Wom. Forsooth I am bold as they say Wisew. You are welcome Gentlewoman Wom. I would not have it knowne to my Neighbours that I come to a Wise-woman for any thing by my truly Wisewom. For should your Husband come and find you here Wom. My Husband woman I am a Widdow Wisewom. Where are my braines 't is true you are a Widdow and you dwell let me see I can never remember that place Wom. In Kentstreet Wisewom. Kentstreet Kentstreet and I can tell you wherfore you come Wom. Why and say true Wisewom. You are a Wagge you are a Wagge why what doe you thinke now I would say Wom. Perhaps to know how many Husbands I should have Wisewom. And if I should say so should I say amisse Wom. I thinke you are a Witch Wisewom. In in I le but reade a little of Ptolomie and Erra Pater and when I have cast a Figure I le come to you presently Exit Wom. Now Wagge what wouldst thou have 2. Luce. If this were a Wisewoman shee could tell that without asking Now me thinkes I should come to know whether I were a Boy or a Girle forsooth I lacke a service Wisewo. By my Fidelitie and I want a good trusty Lad 2. Luce. Now could I sigh and say Alas this is some Bawd trade-falne and out of her wicked experience is come to bee reputed wise I le serve her bee 't but to pry into the mysterie of her Science Wisewo. A proper stripling and a wise I warrant him here 's a penie for thee I le hire thee for a yeare by the Statute of Winchester prove true and honest and thou shalt want nothing that a good Boy 2. Luce. Here Wise-woman you are out againe I shall want what a good Boy should have whilst I live well here I shall live both unknowne and my Sex unsuspected But whom have wee here Enter Master Haringfield and Chartley halfe drunke Chart. Come Haringfield now wee have beene drinking of Mother Red-caps Ale let us now goe make some sport with the Wise-woman Haring. Wee shall be thought very wise men of all such as shall see us goe in to the Wise-womans Chartley. See heere shee is how now Witch How now Hagge How now Beldame You are the Wisewoman are you and have wit to keepe your selte warme enough I warrant you Wisewo. Out thou knave 2. Luce. And will these wild oates never be sowne Chart. You Inchantresse Sorceresse Shee-devill you Madam Hecate Lady Proserpine you are too old you Hagge now for coniuring up Spirits your selfe but you keepe prettie yong Witches under your roofe that can doe that Wisewo. I or my Family conjure up any Spirits I defie thee thou yong Hare-brain'd Haring. Forbeare him till he have his Senses about him and I shall then hold thee for a Wise-woman indeed otherwise I shall doubt thou hast thy name for nothing Come friend away if thou lovest me Chart. Away you old Dromadary I le come one of these nights and make a racket amongst your SheeCatterwaullers Haring. I prethee let 's be civill Chart. Out of my sight thou Shee-mastiffe Exeunt 2. Luce. Patience sweet Mistris Wisewo. Now blesse mee hee hath put mee into such a feare as makes all my bones to dance and rattle in my skin I le be reveng'd on that swaggering companion 2. Luce. Mistris I wish you would hee 's a meere Mad-cap and all his delight is in mis-using such reverent Matrons as your selfe Wisewo. Well what 's thy name Boy 2. Luce. I am even little better than a Turn-broach for my name is Iacke Wisewo. Honest Iacke if thou couldst but devise how I might cry quittance with this cutting Dicke I will goe neare to adopt thee my Sonne and heire 2. Luce. Mistris there is a way and this it is To morrow morning doth this Gentleman Intend to marry with one Mistris Luce A Gold-smiths Daughter doe you know the Maid Wisewo. My Daughter and a prettie smug fac't Girle I had a note but late from her and shee meanes To be with me in th' evening for I haue bespoke Sir Boniface to marry her in the morning 2. Luce. Doe but prevent this Gallant of his Wife And then your wrongs shall be reveng'd at full Wisewo. I le doe 't as I am Matron Ey and shew him a new tricke for his learning Enter Master Boyster Boyst. Morrow Wisewo. Y' are welcome Sir Boyst. Art wise 2. Luce. Hee should be wise because hee speakes few words Wisewo. I am as I am and there 's an end Boyst. Canst conjure Wisewo. Oh that 's a foule word but I can tell you your Fortune as they say I have some little skill in Palmistry but never had to doe with the devill Boyst. And had the devill never any thing to doe with thee thou look'st somewhat like his damme Looke on mee canst tell what I ayle Wisewo. Can you tell your selfe I should guesse you be mad or not well in your wits Boyst. Th' art wise I am so men being in love are mad And I being in love am so Wisewo. Nay if I see your complexion once I thinke I can guesse as neare as another Boyst. One Mistris Luce I love knowst thou her Grannam Wisewo. As well as the Beggar knowes his Dish Why shee is one of my Daughters Boyst. Make her my wife I le give thee forty pieces 2. Luce. Take them Mistris to be reveng'd on Chartley Wisew. A bargain strike me luck cease all your sorrow Faire Luce shall be your Bride betimes to morrow Boyst. Th' art a good Grannam and but that thy teeth stand like hedge-stakes in thy head I 'de kisse thee Exit Wisewo. Pray will you in come hither lacke I have A new tricke come into my head wilt thou Assist mee in 't 2. Luce. If it concerne the crossing of the marriage with Mistris Luce I le do 't what e're it be Wisewo. Thou shalt be tyred like a woman can you make a curtesie take small strides simper and seeme modest me thinkes thou hast a womans voyce already 2. Luce. Doubt not
maid Exit Enter Taber and Sir Boniface with a Trencher with broken meate and a Napkin Taber Fye fye what a time of trouble is this to morrow to morrow is my mistresse to be married and wee seruingmen are so pusled Sir Boniface The dinner 's halfe done and before I say Grace and bid the old Knight and his guest proface A medicine from your trencher good M. Taber As good a man as ere was sir Saber Well thinke it no shame men of learning and wit say study gets a stomacke friend Taber a bit Taber Lick cleane good sir Boniface and saue the scraper a labour Enter Sencer like a Servingman Sir Boniface But soft let mee ponder Know you him that comes yonder Taber Most heartily welcome would you speake with any heere Senc. Pray is the yong gentleman of the house at leisure Taber Meane you the Bridegroome M. Chartly Sencer. I haue a Letter for him You seeme to be a gentleman your selfe acquaint him with my attendance and I shall rest yours in all good offices Taber Sir Boniface pray keepe the gentleman company I will first acquaint your lippes with the vertue of the Seller Sir Boniface Adesdem come neere and tast of your beere Welcome sine dole for puntis te vole Exit Sencer. When I tast of your liqour Gramercy master Vicar Enter Taber with a bowle of Beere and a Napkine Taber Most heartily welcome your curtesie I beseech you ply it off I intreate you pray sir Boniface keepe the Gentleman company till I acquaint my yong master with his businesse Exit Sir Bonif. Taber I shall besolas manus They dissemble one to another Sencer. A vostre seruitor Enter Haringsfield Harring. Hee what art thou Sencer. A hanger on if it please you Harring. And I a shaker off I le not beare your gallowes You shall not hang on mee Enter Chartly with his Napkin as from Dinner O. Mr Bridegroome Chartly Gentlemen the Ladies call vpon you to dance they will be out of measure displeased if dinner beeing done you bee not ready to leade them a measure Harring. Indeede women love not to bee scanted of their measure Chartly Fie sir Boniface haue you forgot your selfe Whilst you are in the Hall there 's never a whetstone for their wits in the Parler Sir Boniface I will enter and set an edge vpon their Ingenies Chartly To mee sir from whom a letter to her most deere most louing most kind friend Mr. Chartly these bee deliuered sure from some wench or other I long to know the contents Sencer. Now to cry quittance with you for my farewell learn'd sir Timothy Chartly Good newes as I liue there 's for thy paines my good sir Pandarus Hadst thou brought mee word my father had turnd vp his heeles Thou couldst scarcely haue pleased mee better Hee reades though I disclaime the name of wife of which I account my selfe altogether vnworthy yet let mee claime some small interest in your loue this night I lye at the house where wee were married the Wisewomans I meane where my maiden-head is to bee rifled bid fayre for it and inioy it see mee this night or never so may you marrying Gratiana and louing mee haue a sweete wife and a true friend This night or never your quondam wife Hereafter your poore sweet-heart no other Luce So when I am tyr'd with Gratiana that is when I am past grace With her I can make my rendevowz I le not slip this occasion nor sleepe till I see her thou art an honest ladde and maist prooue a good Pimpe in time Canst thou advise mee what colour I may haue to compasse this commodity Sencer. Sir shee this night expects you and prepares a costly banquet for you Chartly I le goe although the Devill and mischance looke bigge Sencer. Feyne some newes that such a peece of Land is falne to you and you must instantly ride to take possession of it or which is more probable cannot you perswade them you haue receiu'd a letter that your Father lyes a dying Chartly You rogue I would hee did but the name of that newes is cal'd too good to be true Sencer And that if ever you will see him aliue you must ride post into the Country Chartly Enough if ever I prooue Knight errant thou shalt bee mine owne proper squire for this thou hast fitted mee with a plot doe but waite heere note how I will manage it Tabor my horse for I must ride to night Taber To night sir Chartly So tell my Bride and Father I haue newes that quite confounds my sences Enter Sir Harry Gratiana and Harringsfield Gratiana How ride to night the marriage day to morrow And all things well provided for the feast O tell mee sweete why doe you looke so pale Chartly My Father O my Father Grace What of him Sir Harry What of your father Sonne Chartly If ever I will heere his aged tongue Preach to mee counsell or his palsy hand Stroake my wild head and blesse mee or his eyes Drop teare by teare which they haue often done At my misgovern'd rioting youth What should I more if ever I would see The good old man aliue Oh Oh Sencer. Goe thy wayes for thou shalt ha 't Grace But doe you meane to ride Chartly Ey Grace all this night Sencer. Not all the night without alighting sure You 'l finde more in 't then to get vp and ride Harring. The Gentlemans riding bootes and spurres Why Taber Chartly Nay Grace now 's no time To stand on scrupulous parting Knewest thou my businesse Sencer. As shee shall knowe it Chartly And how I meane this night to toyle my selfe Sencer. Marry hang you brock Chartly Thou would be moane my travell Sencer. I know t' would grieue her Chartly You father Grace good Mr Harringsfield You sir and all pray for mee Gentlemen that in this darke nights journey I may finde smooth way sweete speed and all things to my minde Sir Harry Wee 'l see my sonne take horse Exeunt Gratiana But I will stay I want the heart to see him post away Sencer. Saue you gentlewoman I haue a message to deliver to one Mistress Gratiana this should bee the Knights house her father Gratiana It is The message that you haue to her You may acquaint mee with for I am one That knowes the inside of her thoughts Sencer. Are you the Lady Gratiana Sir I am the poore gentlewoman Sencer. There is a conning woman dwells not farre At Hogsden Lady famous for her skill Besides some private talke that much concernes your fortunes in your love Shee hath to shewe you this night if it shall please you walke so farre as to her house an admirable suite Of costly needle worke which if you please You may by vnder-rate for halfe the valew It cost the making about sixe a clocke You may haue view thereof but otherwise A Lady that hath crau'd the sight thereof Must haue the first refusall Gratiana I le not fayle her My husband beeing