Selected quad for the lemma: master_n

Word A	Word B	Word C	Word D	Occurrence	Frequency Band	MI	MI Band	Prominent
master_n	duty_n	parent_n	servant_n	4,972	5	7.0122	4	false

Text snippets containing the quad

ID	Title	Author	Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication)	STC	Words	Pages
A92764	The godly mans choice, or, A direction how single godly persons, who intend marriage, may make choice of a fit and meet yoak-fellow being the meditations of Caleb Grantham in his single state, as a rule and guide for himself to walk by, and since his death perused and published with some profitable directions how persons should live as becometh Christians in the married state / by Henry Scudder ...	Grantham, Caleb.; Scudder, Henry, d. 1659?	1644 (1644)	Wing S2138B; ESTC R42507	34,805	158

life according as it is well or ill done The composer of these choyce Rules or Directions was a most ingenious and holy young man of good learning rare parts he studied before hand and practised these Rules which he had gathered out of the Oracles of God and he had God going along with him for he gave him a wife according to his desire with whom he lived but a short time it pleasing the Lord in favour to him to take him away from the evil to come The memory of the just is blessed Some erect monuments in Marble that their name may be kept in perpetuall remembrance And it was the manner in some places that in their mourning for their dead friends they held forth and shewed some of their most excellent works which they wrought while they lived I think a better monument cannot bee raised nor better means can be used to preserve this mans name most pretious sweet and ever living and most profitable to posterity then by making this his work publick to the Churches of God These are such as will alike serve to direct a single woman in her acceptance and choyce of an husband to teach parents how to make choyce of husbands and wives for their children as well as to direct a man to make a good choyce of a wife I commend unto all the practise of this our brother for their imitation that every one study and endevour to know and to do the works and duties of the places and conditions wherin God hath set them that they may walk with God and please him therein Amongst the secondary evidences of being in state of grace and accepted with God I know none more clear and certain then this that a Believer in Christ Jesus doe adde unto his faith a conscionable care to please God in the well doing the work of his particular calling and relation I cannot think that a man hath any more power of godlines then as he shall respectively endevour to manifest it in the particular calling condition of life wherein God hath placed him as well as in his generall For an upright man as he will as David did keep himself from his iniquity that is the iniquity which through his naturall corruption he was most prone unto to which through the particular condition of his life he was most tempted and in greatest danger so his speciall care will be to doe the duty of his own place to do that work which God in speciall hath given him to doe The Apostle in divers places after he had delivered the doctrine of faith he subjoyneth the doctrine of good works First more generally as the effects and evidences of a lively faith and then he descendeth to particular duties of men and women according to their severall ranks and relations as of Wives to their Husbands Husbands to their Wives of Children to Parents and of Parents to their Children of Servants to their Masters and of Masters to their Servants as the effects and evidences of true sanctity Where a generall good conversation is not endevoured there faith is not alive but dead and if a man think he hath faith and hath not works he deceiveth himselfe so if he think he hath works because he doth many of the works of holinesse and righteousnesse which his generall calling to Christiaanity leadeth him unto but yet doth not the work which God particularly hath given him to doe he also deceiveth himselfe he may fear that the holines and righteousnes which he seemed to have is not sound Whosoever shall bee desirous to make use of these Directions to make a good entrance into marriage will I thinke be as desirous to know how to live as becommeth Christians when they are maried Wherefore for their help I have added unto the end of these directions some others touching Husbands and wives their loving and living together so as they may please God and may live comfortably and happily in the married condition Both these directions I commend to all that desire information herein and also commend you and these to be blessed to you by God the instituter of the ordinance of marriage to whom be ascribed as most due is all honour and glory now and for ever Yours to serve you in the Lord HENRY SCUDDER Pastor of Collingburn Ducis in Wilts. July 23. 1644. The Godly mans Choyce EVery end hath its proper way and means appertaining to it All ways will not equally alike lead to the same end there is a contrary way that will never bring thee to it There is a crooked and indirect way that may perhaps but with much trouble and labour but then there is a streight and direct way and this is that way which will both with ease and pleasure bring thee to thy desired end This is the way which all men grope after but few can find it Now if to marry and to marry in the Lord a wife and a good wife one with whom thou mayst begin thy dayes with joy continue them in quiet and end them with comfort if this be the end of thy thoughts then surely the most direct and streight way to obtain it will be to seek her of God Not a few are the inducements to move us to this course 1. Because hee is best able to guide and direct you to the finding of her she is a flower that growes not in every garden an hearb that is not in every field she is not to be found in every house you may seek long enough ere you find and finding be deceived unlesse God direct you 2. She cannot be had from any other but from him he it is who is the great Patron in whose family are all the prudent wise vertuous religious persons that are to be desired and if thou wouldest have one of these apply thy self to obtain his favour so shalt thou find a good wife Pro. 18. 22. In other families no doubt thou mayst find a rich wife a beautifull wife but a prudent wife is from the Lord Pro. 19. 14. 3. It is the easiest way to find her Mercies though great yet when they cannot but with great difficulty be obtained it either disheartens us in the pursuit of them or els abates the sweetnesse in the enjoyment of them but with how much content and delight is the heart filled when it apprehendeth a great mercy tumbling into his lap Wouldst thou obtain a good wife which of temporall mercies is the greatest lo this is the most compendious way sit thou still doe but seek and wait and at length thou shalt as it were behold God bringing her in his hand and offering her to thee we see Adam slept while God brought Eve unto him Gen. 2. 21. 4. Never any found that did not thus seek many indeed have wandred roved over this wide world seeking in every place casting their eyes in every corner

fault to say to her husband Give mee children or else I die 16. If God do give you child or children then joyn in hearty thanks to God who hath graciously given them unto you joyne also in breeding and bringing them up in the nurture of the Lord 17. You must be helpfull one to another in over-seeing guiding governing and well-ordering the wayes of your family Though the husband is specially to have an eye to the men and the wife to the maids yet it shall be your wisdome to joyne as in the choice of the faithfullest you can get so in teaching and furthering them in goodnes taking all good occasion to instruct them in wayes of godlinesse and righteousnesse and to stop and restrain them from wickednesse looking to them that they be diligent and faithfull in their places you must joyn in looking to the state of your family for their due imployment and maintenance And as in governing the children the father must not take part against the mother So neither must the master take part with the servants against the dame or mistresse nor must the mother or dame or mistresse doe the like when the father or master doth reprove or correct but must joyne one with another therein If either father or mother master or mistris doe faile in reproofe or correction they are in private to shew one another their failings and not openly before servants or children If when one reproveth the other doth cocker and approve and when one correcteth the other saveth from correction this doth weaken the authority of each in the family and will embolden the children or servants in evill and both father and mother master mistresse or dame will be brought into contempt 18. Touching your worldly estate you must be helpfull and faithfull to each other you must be diligent in your places and be good husbands and good houswives thrifty frugall labouring with hand and head about something that is good according to your calling that you may have wheron you and yours may more comfortably live and wherewithall you may doe good and give to them that need Let nothing be wastfully and wickedly spent 19. And know there ought to be a communitie in the use of that temporall estate which God hath given you with husband and wife all such things should be common one house one purse one bed in every thing alike sutable to their place and meanes God hath made the husband to be head and therefore to have the chiefe power in disposing and ordering of his worldly estate yet the wife is not at such a distance as is the servant or child but so neere to him and one with him that shee hath a right as in his honors and dignities which he cannot restrain her of so in all his goods with which he did endow her at their marriage She therefore is to enjoy them as well as he for her use for all good purposes as there shall be cause except her manifest folly and wastfulnesse doe cause a restraint 20. You may and are to have your times of more then ordinary familiarity one with another in your amiable converse and delighting one in another and with such expressions as are meet to be shewed between none but such as are man and wife as Isaac with his Rebecca But this is not seemly before others but when alone I mean that palpable courting of each other and dallying one with another as is the manner of too many who therein expresse much lightnesse and vanity in their love and doe minister matter of temptation at least offence to others 21. Your love must be so strong as not to be easily provoked true love is exceeding patient it will beare all things endure all things nothing must quench your love one to another 22. If any difference shall arise tending to make a breach between you take heed that it doe not rise to a flame be sure that you compose it and stifle it speedily doe not dare either of you to sleep upon any such discontent for you know not what a night may bring forth and what alienation of affection and what strangenesse it may breed ere morning The Sun should not goe down upon the wrath of any much lesse should it upon the discontent of man and wife Each of you should strive who should begin first to look cheerfully and amiably and shew kindnesse one to another that the breach may be prevented or if any be may be made up between your selves The wife shee out of duty the husband he out of wisdome should begin first which when it is done by the one let not the other dare but lovingly and readily to entertain it If your love be true and if it be managed by that wisdome which is from above as it will be pure so it will be peaceable gentle easie to be intreated full of kindnesse and good fruits Consider this seriously and then you cannot I am sure you will not continue long in any variance that shall fall out between you 23. If you finde pride and folly to be so great in you that it keep you at too great a distance through dislike or distaste one with another the best way to remedy all is to call upon one another to goe together into Gods presence and there joyne together in hearty prayer to him confessing your faults unto him intreating pardon and that he will unite your hearts againe that you may love and live together in all well-pleasing to God and to the joy and comfort one of another Many who in the pride of their heart will in their heare stout it out one against another yet if they have any grace they will calme their spirits and come to a right mind againe when they humble themselves in the sight of God I come now to the particular duties of husband and wife 1. YOU that are an husband may nay must wisely but with love keepe your place and use your authoritie which God hath set you in 2. By keeping it I doe not meane that you should take upon you to be sterne fierce and domineering in your carriage towards her tyger-like as too many doe but that you carry your selfe like a wise head winning honour and respect from her doing her all right giving her all her due In your government you must not be light nor foolish for so you will lose your authoritie and bring your self into contempt Though shee be a wise and good wife and you think fit to passe over much of your authoritie unto her yet hold your authoritie in your own power let her use your authority for you joyning with you in ordering and managing the affaires of your estate and family yet never suffer her if shee attempt it to usurpe authoritie over you but dwell with her as a man of knowledge and wisdom which ought to be in every one whom God hath made to be