at this scuruy leather Captaine Hor. No they haue choakt me with mine owne disgrace Which fooles I le spit againe euen in your face Exeunt Enter Sir Quintilian Shorthose Sir Adam Sir Vaughan Mineuer with seruingmen Sir quinti. Knaues Varlets what Lungis giue me a dozen of stooles there Sir Vau. Sesu plesse vs all in our fiue sences a peece what meane yee sir Kintilian Sorthose to stand so much on a dozen stooles heere be not preeches inuffe to hyde a dozen stooles vnlesse you wisse some of vs preake his sinnes Sir quin. I say sir Vaughan no shinne shal be broken heer what lungis a chayre with a stronge backe and a soft bellie great with childe with a cushion for this reuerend Lady Mineu. God neuer gaue me the grace to be a Lady yet I ha beene worshipt in my conscience to my face a thousand times I cannot denye sir Vaughan but that I haue all implements belonging to the vocation of a Lady Sir Vaughan I trust mistris Mineuer you haue all a honest oman shud haue Min. Yes perdie as my Coach and my fan and a man or two that serue my turne and other things which I de bee loath euery one should see because they shal not be common I am in manner of a Lady in one point Sir Vaug. I pray mistris Mineuers let vs all see that point for our better vnderstanding Mi. For I ha some things that were fetcht I am sure as farre as some of the Low Countries and I payde sweetly for them too and they tolde me they were good for Ladies Sir qui. And much good do 't thy good heart faire widdow with them Min. I am fayre enough to bee a Widdow Sir Quintilian Sir Vaug. In my soule and conscience and well fauoured enough to be a Lady heere is sir Quintilian Sorthose and heere is sir Adam Prickshaft a sentleman of a very good braine and well headed you see he shootes his bolt sildome but when Adam le ts goe he hits and heere is sir Vaughan ap Rees and I beleeue if God sud take vs all from his mercy as I hope hee will not yet we all three loue you at the bottome of our bellyes and our hearts and therefore mistris Mineuer if you please you shall be knighted by one of vs whom you fall desire to put into your deuice and minde Min. One I must haue sir Vaughan Sir quâ—n. And one of vs thou shalt haue widdow Min. One I must haue for now euery one seekes to crow ouer me Sir Vaug. By Sesu and if I finde any crowing ouer you he were a cocke come out as farre as in Turkeys country t is possible to cut his combe off Min. I muse why sir Adam Prickshaft flyes so farre from vs Sir Adam I am in a browne study my deare if loue should bee turned into a beast what beast hee were fit to bee turned into Sir quinti. I thinke Sir Adam an Asse because of his bearing Min. I thinke sauing your reuerence Sir Adam a puppy for a dog is the most louing creature to a christian that is vnles it be a childe Sir Ad. No I thinke if loue should bee turn'd away and goe to serue any beast it must bee an Ape and my reason Sir Vaugh. Sir Adam an Ape ther 's no more reason in an Ape than in a very plaine Monkey for an Ape has no tayle but we all know or t is our duty to know loue has two tailes In my sudsment if loue be a beast that beast is a bunce of Reddis for a bunce of Reddis is wise meate without Mutton and so is loue Mi. Ther 's the yawning Captaine sauing your reuerence that has such a sore mouth would one day needes perswade me that loue was a Rebato and his reason was sauing your reuerence that a Rebato was worne out with pinning too often and so he said loue was Sir Vaugh. And Master Captaine Tucca sayd wisely too loue is a Rebato indeede a Rebato must be poaked now many women weare Rebatoes and many that weare Rebatoes Sir Adam Must be poakt Sir Vau. Sir Adam Prickshaft has hit the cloute Musicke Sir qui. The Musicke speakes to vs we 'll haue a daunce before dinner Enter Sir Walter Terrill Caelestine Blunt Crispinus and Demetrius euery one with a Lady All The King 's at hand Ter. Father the King 's at hand Musicke talke lowder that thy siluer voice May reach my Soueraignes eares Sir Vaug. I pray doe so Musitions bestir your singers that you may haue vs 〈…〉 Sir quin. His Grace comes a Hall varlets where be my men blow blow your colde Trumpets till they sweate tickle them till they sound agen Blun. Best goe meete his Grace All Agreed Sir Vaug. Pray all stand bare as well men as women Sir Adam is best you hide your head for feare your wise braines take key-colde on afore Sir Kintilian Sentlemen fall in before the Ladyes in seemely order and fashion so this is comeleye Enter Trumpets sounding they goe to the doore and meete the King and his Traine and whilst the Trumpets sound the King is welcom'd kisses the Bride and honors the Bridegroome in dumbe shew King Nay if your pleasures shrinke at sight of vs We shall repent this labour Mistris Bride You that for speaking but one word to day Must loose your head at night you that doe stand Taking your last leaue of virginity You that being well begun must not be Maide Winne you the Ladies I the men will wooe Our selfe will leade my blushing Bride with you Sir Vaughan God blesse your Maiesty and send you to be along King William Rufus ouer vs when he sees his times pleasures King Wee thanke you good Sir Vaughan wee will take your meaning not your words Sir quint. Lowde Musicke there Sir Vou. I am glad our Maiesty will take any thing at my hands my words trust in Sesu are spoken betweene my soule and body together and haue neither Felonies nor treasons about them I hope Kin. Good words Sir Vaughan I prethee giue vs leaue Vaug. Good words sir Vaughan that 's by interpertation in english you'd best giue good words sir Vaughan god and his Ansells blesse me what ayles his maiestye to be so tedious and difficult in his right mindes now I holde my life that file rascall-rymer Horace hath puzd and puzd aboue a hundred merie tales and lyce into his great and princely eares by god and he vse it his being Phoebus priest cannot saue him if hee were his Sapline too I de prease vpon his coxcomb good lord blesse me out of his maiesties celler King Williams I hope t is none offences to make a supplication to god a mightie for your long life for by shesu I haue no meaning in 't in all the world vnles rascalls be here that will haue your grace take shalke for shee s and vnlesse Horace has sent lyce to your maiesty King Horace what 's he sir Vaughan
Ningle can tickle it when hee comes too 't Min. Troth I shall neuer bee enameld of a bare-headed man for this what shift so euer I make Sir Vaug. Then Mistris Miniuer S. Adams Prickshaft must not hit you Peter take vp all the cloathes at the table and the Plums Enter Tucca and his boy Tuc. Saue thee my little worshipfull Harper how doe yee my little cracknels how doe ye Sir Vau. Welcome M. Tucca sit and shoote into your belly some Suger pellets Tuc No Godamercy Cadwallader how doe you Horace Ho. Thankes good Captaine Tu. Wher 's the Sering thou carriest about thee O haue I found thee my scowring-sticke what 's my name Bubo Asini. Wod I were hang'd if I can call you any names but Captaine and Tucca Tuc. No Fye'st my name 's Hamlet reuenge thou hast been at Parris garden hast not Hor. Yes Captaine I ha plaide Zulziman there Sir Vau. Then M. Horace you plaide the part of an honest man Tuc. Death of Hercules he could neuer play that part well in 's life no Fulkes you could not thou call'st Demetrius Iorneyman Poet but thou putst vp a Supplication to be a poore Iorneyman Player and hadst beene still so but that thou couldst not set a good face vpon 't thou hast forgot how thou amblest in leather pilch by a play-wagon in the high way and took'st mad Ieronimoes part to get seruice among the Mimickes and when the Stagerites banisht thee into the I le of Dogs thou turn'dst Ban-dog villanous Guy euer since bitest therefore I aske if th' ast been at Parris-garden because thou hast such a good mouth thou baitst well read lege saue thy selfe and read Hor. Why Captaine these are Epigrams compos'd on you Tuc. Goe not out Farding Candle goe not out for trusty Damboys now the deed is done I le pledge this Epigram in wine I le yallow i◠I yes Sir Vau. God blesse vs will be drunke with nittigrams now Tuc. So now arise sprite at h Buttry no Herring-bone I le not pull thee out but arise deere Eccho rise rise deuill or I le coniure thee vp Min. Good Master Tucca le ts ha no coniuring heere Sir Vau. Vddes bloud you scald gouty Captaine why come you to set encombrances heere betweene the Ladies Tuc. Be not so tart my precious Metheglin be not my old whore a Babilon sit fast Min. O Iesu it I know where abouts in London Babilon stands Tuc. Feede and be fat my faire Calipolis stir not my beauteous wriggle-tailes I le disease none of you I le take none of you vp but onely this table-man I must enter him into some filthy sincke point I must Hor. Captaine you doe me wrong thus to disgrace me Tuc. Thou thinkst thou maist be as sawcy with me as my Buffe Ierkin to sit vpon me dost Ho. Dam me if euer I traduc'd your name What imputation can you charge me with Sir Vau. Sblud I what cōputations can you lay to his charge answer or by Sesu I le canuas your coxcombe Tucky Min. If they draw sweet hearts let vs shift for our selues Tuc My noble swaggerer I wil not fall out with thee I cannot my mad Cumrade finde in my heart to shed thy bloud Sir Vau. Cumrade by Sesu call me Cumrade againe and I le Cumrade ye about the sinnes and shoulders ownds what come you to smell out heere did you not dine and feede horribly well to day at dinner but you come to munch heere and giue vs winter-plummes I pray depart goe marse marse marse out a doores Tuc. Adew Sir Eglamour adew Lute-stringe Curtin-rod Goose-quill heere giue that full-nos'd Skinker these rimes harke I le tagge my Codpeece point with thy legs spout-pot I le empty thee Asin. Dost threaten mee Gods lid I le binde thee to the good forbearing Sir Vau. Will you amble Hobby-horse will you trot and amble Tuc. Raw Artichocke I shall sauce thee Exit Min. I pray you Master Tucca will you send me the fiue pound you borrowed on me O you cannot heare now but I le make you heare me and feele me too in another place to your shame I warrant you thou shalt not conny-catch mee for fiue pounds he tooke it vp Sir Vaughan in your name hee swore you sent for it to Mum withall t was fiue pound in gold as white as my kercher Sir Vaughan Ownds fiue pound in my name to Mum about withall Min. I to Mum withall but hee playes mum-budget with me Sir Vau. Peter Salamander tye vp your great and your little sword by Sesu I le goe sing him while t is hot I le beate fiue pound out of his leather pilch Master Horace let your wittes inhabite in your right places if I fall sansomely vpon the Widdow I haue some cossens Garman at Court shall beget you the reuersion of the Master of the Kings Reuels or else be his Lord of Mis-rule nowe at Christmas Come Ladyes whoreson Stragling Captaine I le pound him Exeunt Manet Horace and Asinius Hor. How now what ail'st thou that thou look'st so pale Asin. Nay nothing but I am afraide the Welsh Knight has giuen me nothing but purging Comfits this Captaine stickes pockily in my stomack read this scroule he saies they 'r rimes and bid me giue them you Hor. Rimes t is a challenge sent to you Asin. To me Hor. He saies heere you divulg'd my Epigrams Asin. And for that dares he challenge me Hor. You see he dares but dare you answer him Asin. I dare answer his challenge by word of mouth or by writing but I scorne to meete him I hope he and I are not Paralels Hor. Deere Bubo thou shalt answere him our credites Lye pawn'd vpon thy resolution Thy vallor must redeeme them charge thy spirits To waite more close and neere thee if he kill thee I le not suruiue into one Lottery We 'll cast our fates together liue and dye Asi. Content I owe God a death and if he will make mee pay 't against my will I le say t is hard dealing Exeunt Enter Sir Adam Tucca with two pistols by his sides his boy laden with swords and bucklers Tuc. Did Apolloes Freeze gowne watch man boy dost heare Turkie-cockes tayle haue an eye behinde least the enemie assault our Rere-ward on proceede Father Adam did that same tiranicall-tongu'd rag-a-muffin Horace turne bald-pates out so naked Sir Ad. He did and whipt them so with nettles that The Widdow swore that a bare-headed man Should not man her the Ladie Petula Was there heard all and tolde me this Tuc. Goe too Thy golde was accepted it was and she shall bring thee into her Paradice she shall small Adam she shall Sir Ada. But how but how Capten Tuc. Thus goe couer a table with sweet meates let all the Gentlewomen and that same Pasquils-mad-cap mother Bee there nibble bid them bite they will come to gobble downe Plummes then take vp that paire of Basket hiltes with my commission I meane Crispinus and Fannius
what stuffe Thy verie heart is made of know the stalke On which thy learning growes and can giue life To thy once dying basenes yet must we Dance Antickes on your Paper Hor. Fannius Cri. This makes vs angry but not enuious No were thy warpt soule put in a new molde I de weare thee as a Iewell set in golde Sir Vau. And Iewels Master Horace must be hang'd you know Tuc. Good Pagans well said they haue sowed vp that broken seame-rent lye of thine that Demetrius is out at Elbowes and Crispinus is falne out with Sattin heere they haue but bloate-herring dost heare Hor. Yes honour'd Captaine I haue eares at will Tuc. I st not better be out at Elbowes then to bee a bond-slaue and to goe all in Parchment as thou dost Horace Parchment Captaine t is Perpetuana I assure you Tuc. My Perpetuall pantaloone true but t is waxt ouer th' art made out of Wax thou must answere for this one day thy Muse is a hagler and weares cloathes vpon best-be-trust th' art great in some bodies books for this thou knowst where thou wouldst bee out at Elbowes and out at heeles too but that thou layest about thee with a Bill for this a Bill Ho. I confesse Capten I followed this suite hard Tuc. I know thou didst and therefore whilst we haue Hiren heere speake my little dish-washers a verdit Pissekitchins Omnes Blancket Sir Vau. Holde I pray holde by Sesu I haue put vpon my heade a fine deuice to make you laugh t is not your fooles Cap Master Horace which you couer'd your Poetasters in but a fine tricke ha ha is iumbling in my braine Tuc. I le beate out thy braines my whorson hansome dwarfe but I le haue it out of thee Omnes What is it good Sir Vaughan Sir Vau. To conclude t is after this manners because Ma. Horace is ambition and does conspire to bee more hye and tall as God a mightie made him wee 'll carry his terrible person to Court and there before his Masestie Dub or what you call it dip his Muse in some licour and christen him or dye him into collours of a Poet Omnes Excellent Tuc. Super Super-excellent Reuellers goe proceede you Masters of Arte in kissing these wenches and in daunces bring you the quiuering Bride to Court in a Maske come Grumboll thou shalt Mum with vs come dogge mee skneakesbill Hor. O thou my Muse Sir Vau. Call vpon God a mighty and no Muses your Muse I warrant is otherwise occupied there is no dealing with your Muse now therefore I pray marse marse marse oundes your Moose Exeunt Cri We shal haue sport to see them come bright beauties The Sunne stoops low and whispers in our eares To hasten on our Maske let 's crowne this night With choise composed wreathes of sweet delight Exeunt Enter Terrill and Caelestine sadly Sir Quintllian stirring and migling a cup of wine Ter. O Night that Dyes the Firmament in blacke And like a cloth of cloudes dost stretch thy limbes Vpon the windy Tenters of the Ayre O thou that hang'st vpon the backe of Day Like a long mourning gowne thou that art made Without an eye because thou shouldst not see A Louers Reuels nor participate The Bride-groomes heauen ô heauen to me a hell I haue a hell in heauen a blessed cursse All other Bride-groomes long for Night and taxe The Day of lazie slouth call Time a Cripple And say the houres limpe after him but I Wish Night for euer banisht from the skie Or that the Day would neuer sleepe or Time Were in a swound and all his little Houres Could neuer lift him vp with their poore powers Enter Caelestine But backward runnes the course of my delight The day hath turn'd his backe and it is night This night will make vs odde day made vs eeuen All else are damb'd in hel but I in heauen Cae. Let loose thy oath so shall we still be eeuen Ter. Then am I damb'd in hell and not in heauen Cael. Must I then goe t is easie to say no Must is the King himselfe and I must goe Shall I then goe that word is thine I shall Is thy commaund I goe because I shall Will I then goe I aske my selfe ô ill King saies I must you I shall I I will Ter. Had I not sworne Cael. Why didst thou sweare Ter. The King Sat heauy on my resolution Till out of breath it panted out an oath Cael. An oath why what 's an oath t is but the smoake Of flame bloud the blister of the spirit Which rizeth from the Steame of rage the bubble That shootes vp to the tongue and scaldes the voice for oathes are burning words thou swor'st but one T is frozen long agoe if one be numbred VVhat Countrimen are they where doe they dwell That speake naught else but oathes Tâ—r. they 're men of hell An oath why t is the trafficke of the soule T is law within a man the seale of faith The bond of euery conscience vnto whom VVe set our thoughts like hands yea such a one I swore and to the King A King containes A thousand thousand when I swore to him I swore to them the very haires that guard His head will rise vp like sharpe witnesses Against my faith and loyalty his eye VVould straight condemne me argue oathes no more My oath is high for to the King I swore Enter Sir Quintilian with the cup Cae. Must I betray my Chastity So long Cleane from the treason of rebelling lust O husband O my father if poore I Must not liue chast then let me chastly dye Sir Quint. I heer 's a charme shall keep thee chaste come come Olde Time hath left vs but an houre to play Our parte begin the sceane who shall speake first Oh I I play the King and Kings speake first Daughter stand thou heere thou Sonne Terrill there O thou standst well thou lean'st against a poast For thou 't be posted off I warrant thee The King will hang a horne about thy necke And make a poast of thee you stand well both VVe neede no Prologue the King entring first He 's a most gracious Prologue mary then For the Catastrophe or Epilogue Ther 's one in cloth of Siluer which no doubt VVill please the hearers well when he steps out His mouth is fil'd with words see where he stands He 'll make them clap their eyes besides their hands But to my part suppose who enters now A King whose eyes are set in Siluer one That blusheth golde speakes Musicke dancing walkes Now gathers neerer takes thee by the hand When straight thou thinkst the very Orbe of heauen Mooues round about thy fingers then he speakes Thus thus I know not how Cael. Nor I to answer him Sir Quint. No girle knowst thou not how to answer him VVhy then the field is lost and he rides home Like a great conquerour not answer him Out of thy part alread y foylde the Sceane Disranckt
All pleasures guard my King I heere present My oath vpon the knee of duety knees Are made for Kings they are the subiects Fees King Wat Terrill th' art ill suited ill made vp In Sable collours like a night peece dyed Com'st thou the Prologue of a Maske in blacke Thy body is ill shapt a Bride-groome too Looke how the day is drest in Siluer cloth Laide round about with golden Sunne-beames so As white as heauen should a fresh Bride-groome goe What Caelestine the Bride in the same taske Nay then I see ther 's mistery in this maske Prethee resolue me Wat Ter. My gracious Lord That part is hers she actes it onely I Present the Prologue she the misterie Kin. Come Bride the Sceane of blushing entred first Your cheekes are setled now and past the worst Vnmasks her A mistery oh none plaies heere but death This is deaths motion motionles speake you Flatter no longer thou her Bride-groome thou Her Father speake Sir quint. Dead Ter. Dead Kin. How Sir quin. Poyson'd King And poyson'd What villaine durst blaspheme her beauties or Prophane the cleare religion of her eyes Ter. Now King I enter now the Sceane is mine My tongue is tipt with poison know who speakes And looke into my thoughts I blush not King To call thee Tyrant death hath set my face And made my bloud bolde heare me spirits of men And place your eares vpon your hearts the day The fellow to this night saw her and me Shake hands together for the booke of heauen Made vs eternall friends thus Man and Wife This man of men the King what are not kings Was my chiefe guest my royall guest his Grace Grac'd all the Table and did well become The vpper end where sate my Bride in briefe He tainted her chaste eares she yet vnknowne His breath was treason tho his words were none Treason to her and me he dar'd me then Vnder the couert of a flattering smile To bring her where she is not as she is Aliue for lust not dead for Chastity The resolution of my soule out-dar'd I swore and taxt my faith with a sad oath Which I maintaine heere take her she was mine When she was liuing but now dead she 's thine Kin. Doe not confound me quite for mine owne guilt Speakes more within me then thy tongue containes Thy sorrow is my shame yet heerein springs ioy out of sorrow boldnes on t of shame For I by this haue found once in my life A faithfull subiect thou a constant wife Cæl. A constant wife Kin. Am I confounded twice Blasted with wonder Ter. O delude we not Thou art too true to liue agen too faire To be my Caelestine too constant farre To be a woman Cael. Not to be thy wife But first I pleade my duetie and salute The world agen Sir quin. My King my Sonne know all I am an Actor in this misterie And beare the chiefest part The Father I T was I that ministred to her chaste bloud A true somniferous potion which did steale Her thoughts to sleepe and flattered her with death I cal'd it a quick poison'd drug to trie The Bride-groomes loue and the Brides constancie He in the passion of his loue did fight A combat with affection so did both She for the poison stroue he for his oath Thus like a happie Father I haue won A constant Daughter and a louing Sonne Kin. Mirrour of Maidens wonder of thy name I giue thee that art giuen pure chaste the same Heere Wat I would not part for the worlds pride So true a Bride-groome and so chaste a Bride Cri. My Leige to wed a Comicall euent To presupposed tragicke Argument Vouchsafe to exercise your eyes and see A humorous dreadfull Poet take degree Kin. Dreadfull in his proportion or his pen Cris. In both he calles himselfe the whip of men Kin. If a cleare merrit stand vpon his praise Reach him a Poets Crowne the honour'd Bayes But if he claime it wanting right thereto As many bastard Sonnes of Poesie doe Race downe his vsurpation to the ground True Poets are with Arte and Nature Crown'd But in what molde so ere this man bee east We make him thine Crispinus wit and iudgement Shine in thy numbers and thy soule I know Will not goe arm'd in passion gainst thy foe Therefore be thou our selfe whilst our selfe sit But as spectator of this Sceane of wit Cri. Thankes royall Lord for these high honors done To me vnworthie my mindes brightest fires Shall all consume themselues in purest flame On the Alter of your deare eternall name Kin. Not vnder vs but next vs take thy Seate Arts nourished by Kings make Kings more great Vse thy Authority Cris. Demetrius Call in that selfe-creating Horace bring Him and his shaddow foorth Dem. Both shall appeare No black-tyed star must sticke in vertues Spheare Enter Sir Vaughan Sir Va. Ounds did you see him I pray let all his Masesties most excellent dogs be set at liberties and haue their freedoms to smell him out Dem. Smell whom Sir Vaugh. Whom the Composer the Prince of Poets Horace Horace he 's departed in Gods name and the Kinges I sarge you to ring it out from all our eares for Horaces bodie is departed Master hue and crie shall God blesse King Williams I crie you mercy and aske forgiuenes for mine eyes did not finde in their hearts to looke vppon your Maiestie Kin. What news with thee Sir Vaughan Sir Vau. Newes God t is as vrse newes as I can desire to bring about mee our vnhansome-fac'd Poet does play at bo-peepes with your Grace and cryes all-hidde as boyes doe Officers Stand by roome there backe roome for the Poet Sir Va. He 's reprehended and taken by Sesu I reioyce very neere as much as if I had discouer'd a New-found Land or the North and East Indies Enter Tucca his boy after him with two pictures vnder his cloake and a wreath of nettles Horace and Bubo pul'd in by the hornes bound both like Satyres Sir Adam following Mistris Miniuer with him wearing Tuccaes chaine Tuc. So tug tug pull the mad Bull in by 'th hornes So baite one at that stake my place-mouth yelpers and one at that stake Gurnets-head King What busie fellow 's this Tuc. Saue thee my most gracious King a Harts saue thee all hats and caps are thine and therefore I vaile for but to thee great Sultane Soliman I scorne to be thus put off or to deliuer vp this sconce I wud Kin. Sir Vaughan what 's this iolly Captaines name Sir Va. Has a very sufficient name and is a man has done God and his Country as good and as hot Seruice in conquering this vile Monster-Poet as euer did S. George his horsebacke about the Dragon Tuc. I sweate for 't but Tawsoone holde thy tongue Mon du if thou 't praise mee doo 't behinde my backe I am my weighty Soueraigne one of thy graines thy valliant vassaile aske not what I am but read turne ouer