set forward about three Days hence In the mean while thou shalt be a witness of what I will do for my Lady's sake that thou may'st give her an account of it Bless my Eyesight quoth Sancho what can I see more than I 've seen already Thou hast seen nothing yet answer'd Don Quixote thou must see me throw away my Armour tear my Cloths knock my Head against the Rocks and do a thousand other Things of that kind that will fill thee with Astonishment For goodness sake Sir quoth Sancho take heed how you quarrel with these ungracious Rocks you may chance to get such a crack o' the Crown at the very first Rap as may spoil a rare Madman and a special Penitent to boot all at one dash No I don't like that way by no means if you must needs be knocking your Noddle to go thro' stitch with this ugly Job seeing 't is all but a mock or as it were between Jest and Earnest why can't you as well play your Tricks on something that 's softer than these unconscionable Stones you may run your Head against the Water or rather against Cotton or the stuffing of Rozinante's Saddle and then let me alone with the rest I 'll be sure to tell my Lady Dulcinea that you bebump'd your Poll against the point of a Rock that 's harder than a Diamond I thank thee for thy good Will dear Sancho replyed Don Quixote But I assure thee that all these seeming Extravagancies which I must run thro are no Jests Far from it they must be all perform'd seriously and solemnly for otherwise we shou'd transgress the Laws of Chivalry that forbid us to tell Lies upon pain of Degradation now to pretend to do one thing and effect another is an Evasion which I esteem to be as bad as Lying Therefore the Blows which I must give my self on the Head ought to be real substantial sound ones without any Trick or mental Reservation for which reason I wou'd have thee leave me some Lint and Salve since Fortune has depriv'd us of the soveraign Balsam which we lost 'T was a worse Loss to lose the Ass quoth Sancho for with him we 've lost Bag and Baggage Lint and all But no more of your damn'd Drench if you love me the very thoughts on 't are enough not only to turn my Stomach but my Soul such a rumbling I feel in my Wemb at the name on 't Then as for the three Days you 'd have me loyter here to mind your mad Tricks you had as good make account they 're already over for I hold 'em for done unsight unseen and will tell Wonders to my Lady wherefore write you your Letter and send me going with all haste for let me be hang'd if I don't long already to be back to take you out of this Purgatory wherein I leave you Dost thou only call it Purgatory Sancho cry'd Don Quixote call it Hell rather or something worse if there be in Nature a term expressive of a more wretched state Nay not so neither quoth Sancho I wou'd not call it Hell because as I heard our Parson say There 's no Retention out of Hell Retention cry'd Don Quixot what do'st thou mean by that word Why quoth Sancho Retention is Retention it is that whosoever is in Hell never comes nor can come out of it Which shan't be your Case this Bout if I can stir my Heels and have but Spurs to tickle Rozinante's Flank till I come to my Lady Dulcinea for I will tell her such strange things of your Maggotty Tricks your Folly and your Madness for indeed they are no better that I 'll lay my Head to a hazel Nut I 'll make her as supple as a Glove tho I found her at first as tough hearted as Cork and when I 've wheedled an Answer out of her all full of sweet hony Words away will I whisk it back to you cutting the Air as swift as a Witch upon a Broomstick and free you out of your Purgatory for a Purgatory I will have it to be in spight of Hell nor shall you gainsay me in that I fancy for as I 've told you before there 's some hopes of your Retention out of this place Well be it so said the Knight of the Woful Countenance but how shall I do to write this Letter And the Order for the three Asses added Sancho I 'll not forget it answer'd Don Quixote But since we have here no Paper I must be oblig'd to write on the Leaves or Bark of Trees or on Wax as they did in antient Times yet now I consider on 't vve are here as ill provided vvith Wax as vvith Paper But stay now I remember I have Cardenio's Pocket-Book vvhich will supply that vvant in this Exigence and then thou shalt get the Letter fairly transcrib'd at the first Village where thou canst meet with a School-master or for vvant of a Schoolmaster thou may'st get the Clark of the Parish to do it but by no means give it to any Notary or Lawyer to be written out for they commonly write such confounded hands that the Devil himself wou'd scarce be able to read it Well quoth Sancho but vvhat shall I do for vvant of your Name to it Why answer'd Don Quixote Amadis never us'd to subscribe his Letters Ay reply'd Sancho but the Bill of Exchange for the three Asses must be sign'd and shou'd I get it copy'd out afterwards they 'd say 't is not your hand and so I shall go vvithout the Asses I 'll vvrite and sign the Order for 'em in the Table-Book answer'd Don Quixote and as soon as my Niece shall see the hand she 'll never scruple the delivery of the Asses And as for the Love-Letter when thou get'st it transcrib'd thou must get it thus under-written Your's till Death The Knight of the Woful Countenance 'T is no matter whether the Letter and the Subscription be vvritten by the same hand or no for as I remember Dulcinea can neither read nor write nor did she ever see any of my Letters nay not so much as any of my Writing in her life For my Love and her's have always been purely Platonic never extending beyond the lawful Bounds of a modest Look and that too so very seldom that I dare safely swear that tho for these twelve Years she has been dearer to my Soul than Light to my Eyes yet I never saw her four times in my life and perhaps of those few times that I have seen her she has scarce perceiv'd once that I beheld her So strictly and so discreetly Lorenzo Corchuelo her Father and Aldonza Nogales her Mother have kept and educated her Heigh-day quoth Sancho Did you ever hear the like And is my Lady Dulcinea del Toboso at last the Daughter of Lorenzo Corchuelo she that 's otherwise call'd Aldonza Lorenzo The same answer'd Don Quixote and t is she that merits to be the Sovereign of the Universe Uâ—sdiggers quoth Sancho
nothing sure in this World For who wou'd have thought after the dreadful slashes you gave to that Knight-Errant such a terrible Tempest of Bastinadoes wou'd so soon have showr'd upon our Shoulders As for thine reply'd Don Quixote I doubt they are us'd to endure such sort of showers but mine that were nurst in soft Linnen will most certainly be longer sensible of this Misfortune and were it not that I imagine buâ— why do I say imagine were it not that I am positively sure that all these Inconveniencies are inseparable from the Profession of Onivalry I wou'd abandon my self to grief and die of meer Despair on this very spot I beseech you Sir quoth Sancho since these Rubs are sometimes the Vails of your Trade of Knighthood tell me whether they use to be very brief among you or whether we may look for 'em at set times for I fancy if we meet but with two such Harvests mâ—re we shall never be able to reap the third unless Miracles assist us Know Friend Sancho return'd Don Quixote that the Life of Knights-Errant is subject to a thousand Hazards and Misfortunes But on the other side they may at any time suddenly become Kings and Emperors as experience has demonstrated in many Knights of whose Histories I have a perfect Knowledge And I cou'd tell thee now wou'd my pain suffer me of some of 'em who have rais'd themselves to those high Dignities only by the strength of their Arms and those very Knights both before and after their advancement were involv'd in many Calamities For the valorous Amadis de Gaul saw himself in the Power of his mortal Enemy Arcalaus the Inchanter of whom 't is credibly reported that when he held him Prisoner he gave him above two hundred stripes with his Horse Bridle after he had ty'd him to a Pillar in the Court-yard of his house There is also a secret Author of no little credit relates That the Knight of the Sun being taken in a Trap in a certain Castle was hurri'd to a deep Dungeon where after they had bound him Hand and Foot they forcibly gave him a Glyster of Snow-water and Sand which wou'd probably have cost him his Life had he not been assisted in that Distress by a wise Magician his particular Friend Thus I may well bear my misfortune patiently since those which so many greater persons have endur'd may be said to out do it For I wou'd have thee to know that those wounds which are given with the Instruments and Tools which a Man happens to have in his hand do not really disgrace the Person struck We read it expressly in the Laws of Duels That if a Shoemaker strikes another Man with his Last which he held in his hand tho it be of Wood as a Cudgel is yet the party who was struck with it shall not be said to have been cudgell d. I tell thee this that thou mayst not think we are in the least dishonored tho we have been horribly beaten in this Rencounter for the weapons which those men us'd were but the Instruments of their profession and not one of 'em as I very well remember had either Tuck or Sword or Dagger They gave me no leisure quoth Sancho to examine things so narrowly for I had no sooner laid my hand on my Weapon but they crost my Shoulders with such a Wooden Blessing as settled me on the ground without sence or motion where you see me lie and where I don't trouble my head whether it be a Disgrace to be mawl'd with Cudgels or with Pack-staves Let 'em be what they will I am only vext to feel them so heavy on my Shoulders where I am afraid they are imprinted as deep as they are in my Mind For all this reply'd Don Quixote I must inform thee Friend Sancho that there is no Remembrance which time will not deface nor no Pain to which Death will not put a Period Thank you for nothing quoth Sancho What worse can befall us than to have only Death to trust to Were our affliction to be cur'd with a Plaister or two a man might have some Patience but for ought I see all the Salves in an Hospital won't set us on our best Legs again Come no more of this cry'd Don Quixote take Courage and make a Virtue of necessity for 't is what I am resolv'd to do Let 's see how it fares with Rozinante for if am not mistaken the poor Creature has not been the least suflerer in this Adventure No wonder at that quoth Sancho seeing he 's a Knight-Errant as well as 〈◊〉 rest I rather wonder how my Ass haâ—â—â—cap'd so well while we have far'd so ill 〈◊〉 our Disasters return'd Don Quixotâ— Fortune leaves always some door open to â—me at a Remedy I say it Sancho because that little Beast may now supply the want of Rozinante to carry me to some Castle where I may get cur'd of my Wounds Nor do I esteem this kind of riding dishonourable for I remember that the good old Silenus Tutor and Governor to the Jovial God of Wine rode very fairly on a goodly Ass when he made his Entry into the City with a hundred Gates Ay quoth Sancho 't will do well enough cou'd you ride as fairly on your Ass as he did on his but there 's a deal of difference between Riding and being laid cross the Pannel like a pack of Rubbâ—â—â— The Wounds which are receiv'd iâ— Combat said Don Quixote rather add to our honour than deprive us of it therefore good Sancho trouble me with no more replies but as I said endeavour to get up and lay me as thou pleasest upon thy Ass that we may leave this place e're night steal upon us But Sir cry'd Sancho I have heard you say that 't is a common thing among you Knight-Errants to sleep in Fields and Desarts the best part of the year and that you look upon it to be a very happy kind of Life That is to say reply'd Don Quixote when we can do no better or when we are in Love and this is so true that there have been Knights who have dwelt on Rocks expos'd to the Sun and other Inclemencies of the Sk for the space of two Years without their Lady's Knowledge One of those was Amadis when assuming the Name of The Lovely Obscure he inhabited the Poor Rock either eight years or eight months I can't now punctually tell which of the two for I don 't thoroughly remember that passage Let it suffice that there he dwelt doing Penance for I don't know what unkindness his Lady Oriana had shew'd him But setting these Discourses aside prethee dispatch lest some Mischief befall thy Ass as it has done Rozinante That wou'd be the Devil indeed reply'd Sancho and so breathing out some thirty Lamentations threescore Sighs and a hundred and twenty Plagues and Poxes on those that had decoy d him thither he at last got upon his Legs yet not so but that he went
the sequel of the Story CHAP. X. The Adventure in the Sierra Morena continued THE History relates that the Knight of the Woful Countenance listen'd with great attention to the disastrous Knight of the Rock who made him the following Complement Truly Sir whoever you be for I have not the honour to know you I 'm much oblig'd to you for your Expressions of Civility and Friendship and I cou'd wish I were in a condition to convince you otherwise than by words of the deep sense I have of 'em but my bad Fortune leaves nothing to return for so many Favours but unprofitable Wishes Sir answer'd Don Quixote I 've so hearty a desire to serve you that I was fully resolv'd not to depart from this Wilderness till I had found you out that I might know from your self whether the Discontents that have urg'd you to make choice of this unusual Course of Life might not admit of a Remedy for if they do assure your self I will leave no means untry'd till I have purchas'd you that ease which I heartily wish you Or if your Disasters are of that fatal kind that excludes you for ever from the hopes of Comfort or Relief then will I mingle Sorrows with you and by sharing your load of Grief help you to bear the oppressing weight of Affliction For 't is the only comfort of the Miserable to have Partners in their Woes If then good Intentions may plead Merit or a grateful Requital let me intreat you Sir by that generous Nature that shoots thro the Gloom with which Adversity has clouded your graceful Outside nay let me conjure you by the darling Object of your wishes to let me know who you are and what strange Misfortunes have urg'd you to withdraw from the Converse of your fellow Creatures to bury your self alive in this horrid Solitude where you linger out a wretched Being a Stranger to Ease to all Mankind and even to your very self And I solemnly swear added Don Quixote by the Order of Knighthood of which I am an unworthy Professor that if you so far gratify my desires I will assist you to the utmost of my capacity either by remedying your Disaster if 't is not past redress or at least I will become your Partner in sorrow and strive to ease it by a Society in sadness The Knight of the Rock hearing the Knight of the Woful Countenance talk at that rate look'd upon him stedfastly for a long time and view'd and review'd him from head to foot and when he had gaz'd a great while upon him Sir cry'd he if you have any thing to eat for Heaven's sake give it me and when my Hunger is abated I shall be better able to comply with your Desires which your great Civilities and undeserv'd Offers oblige me to satisfy Sancho and the Goat-herd hearing this presently took out some Victuals the one out of his Bag the other out of his Scrip and gave it to the Knight of the Rock to allay his hunger and immediately the famish'd Forester fell on with that greedy haste that he seem'd rather to devour than feed for he us'd no intermission between bit and bit so greedily he chop'd them up When he had assuag'd his voracious Appetite he beckon'd to Don Quixote and the rest to follow him and after he had brought 'em to a neighboring Meadow he laid himself at his ease on the Grass where the rest of the Company sitting down by him neither he nor they having yet spoke a word since he fell to eating he began in this manner Sir said he If you intend to be inform'd of my Misfortunes you must promise me beforehand not to cut off the thread of my doleful Narration with any Questions or any other Interruption for in the very instant that any of you do it I shall leave off abruptly and will not afterwards go on with the Story This Preamble put Don Quixote in mind of Sancho's ridiculous Tale which by his neglect in not telling the Goats was brought to an untimely Conclusion I only use this precaution added the Knight of the â—ock because I wou'd be quick in my Relation for the very remembrance of my former Misfortunes proves a new one to me and yet I promise you I 'll endeavour to omit nothing that 's material that you may have as full an account of my Disasters as I am sensible you desire Thereupon Don Quixote for himself and the rest having promis'd him uninterrupted attention he proceeded in this manner My Name is Cardenio the place of my Birth one of the best Cities in Andaluzia my Descent noble and my Parents wealthy But my Misfortunes are so great that they are not to be remedy'd with Wealth and have doubtless fill'd my Relations with the deepest Sorrow In the same Town dwelt the charming Lucinda the most beautiful Creature that ever Nature fram'd equal in Descent and Fortune to my self but more happy and less constant I lov'd nay ador'd her almost from her Infancy and from her tender years she blest me with as kind a Return as is sutable with the innocent Freedom of that Age. Our Parents were conscious of that early Friendship nor did they oppose the growth of this inoffensive Passion which they perceiv'd cou'd have no other Consequences than a happy Union of our Families by Marriage a thing which the equality of our Births and Fortunes did indeed of it self almost invite us to Afterwards our Loves so grew up with our Years that Lucinda's Father either judging our usual Familiarity prejudicial to his Daughter's Honour or for some other Reasons sent to desire me to discontinue my frequent visits to his House But this restraint prov'd but like that which was us'd by the Parents of that loving Thisbe so celebrated by the Poets and but added Flames to Flames and Impatience to Desires As our Tongues were now debarr'd their former Privilege we had recourse to our Pens which assum'd the greater Freedom to disclose the most hidden Secrets of our Hearts for the presence of the belov'd Object often heightens a certain awe and bashfulness that disorders confounds and strikes dumb even the most passionate Lover How many Letters have I writ to that lovely Charmer How many soft moving Verses have I not address'd to her What kind yet honourable Returns have I not receiv'd from her the mutual Pledges of our secret Love and the innocent Consolations of a violent Passion At length languishing and wasting with Desire depriv'd of that reviving Comfort of my Soul I resolv'd to remove those Bars with which her Father's Care and decent Caution obstructed my only happiness by demanding her of him in Marriage He very civilly told me that he thank'd me for the Honor I did him but that I had a Father alive whose Consent was to be obtain'd as well as his and who was the most proper Person to make such a Proposal Thereupon going to my Father with a design to beg his
Rozinante and Sancho on Dapple set out and pursu'd their Journey CHAP. XIX The Adventure of the Amorous Shepherd and other truly comical Passages DON Quixote had not Travell'd far when he was overtaken by two Men that look'd like Students or Ecclesiasticks with two Farmers all mounted upon Asses One of the Scholars had behind him a small bundle of Linnen and two pair of Stockings truss'd up in green Buckram like a Portmanteau t'other had no other Luggage but a couple of Foils and a pair of Fencing-Pumps And the Husbandmen had a parcel of other things which shew'd that having made their Market at some adjacent Town they were now returning home with their Ware They all admir'd as indeed all others did that ever beheld him what kind of Fellow Don Quixote was seeing him make a Figure so very different from any thing they had ever seen The Knight saluted them and perceiving their Road lay the same way offer'd them his Company entreating them however to move an easier Pace because their Asses went faster than his Horse and to engage them the more he gave them a hint of his Circumstances and Profession that he was a Knight-Errant travelling round the World in quest of Adventures that his proper Name was Don Quixote de la Mancha but his Titular Denomination The Knight of the Lions All this was Greek or Pedlar's French to the Country-men but the Students presently found out his Blind-side However with a respectful distance Sir Knight said one of them if you are not fix'd to any set Stage as Persons of your Function seldom are let us beg the Honour of your Company and you shall be entertain'd with one of the finest and most sumptuous Weddings that ever was seen either in la Mancha or many Leagues round it The Nuptials of some young Prince I presume said Don Quixote No Sir answer'd the other but of a Yeoman's Son and a Neighbour's Daughter he the richest in all this Country and she the handsomest you ever saw The Entertainment at the Wedding will be New and Extraordinary 't is to be kept in a Meadow near the Village where the Bride lives They call her Quiteria the Handsome by reason of her Beauty and the Bridegroom no less deservedly Camacho the Rich. They are well Match'd as to Age for she draws towards Eighteen and he is about Two and Twenty though some nice Folks that have all the Pedigrees in the World in their Heads will tell ye that the Bride comes of a better Family than he but that 's not minded now-a-days for Money you know will hide many Faults And indeed this same Camacho is as free as a Prince and designs to spare no Cost upon his Wedding He has taken a Fancy to get the Meadow shaded with Boughs that are to cover it like an Arbour so that the Sun will have much ado to peep through and visit the green Grass underneath There are also provided for the Diversion of the Company several sorts of Anticks and Morrice-dancers some with Swords and some with Bells for there are young Fellows in his Village can manage 'em cleverly I say nothing of those that play Tricks with the Soles of their Shooes when they Dance leaving that to the Judgment of the Guests But nothing that I 've told or might tell you of this Wedding is like to make it so remarkable as those which I imagine poor Basil's Despair will do This Basil is a young Fellow that lives next door to Quiteria's Father Hence Love took occasion to give Birth to an Amour like that of old between Pyramus and Thisbe for Basil's Love grew up with him from a Child and she encourag'd his Passion with all the kind return that Modesty could grant insomuch that the Mutual Affection of the two little ones was the common talk of the Village But Quiteria coming to Years of Maturity her Father began to deny Basil the usual access to his House and to cut off his farther Pretences declar'd his Resolution of Marrying her to Camacho who is indeed his Superior in Estate though far short of him in all other Qualifications for Basil to give the Devil his due is the cleverest Fellow we have he 'll pitch ye a Bar Wrestle or play at Tennis with the best He in the Country he runs like a Stag leaps like a Buck plays at Nine-pins so well you 'd think he tips 'em down by Witchcraft sings like a Lark touches a Guitar so rarely he even makes it speak and to compleat his Perfections he handles a Sword like a Fencer For that very single Qualification said Don Quixote he deserves not only Quiteria the handsome but a Princess nay Queen Guinever her self where she now living in spight of Sir Lancelot and all that would oppose it Well quoth Sancho who had been silent and list'ning all the while my Wife us'd to tell me she would have every one Marry with their Match Like to like quoth the Devil to the Collier and every Sow to her own Trough as t'other Saying is As for my part all I would have is that honest Basil e'en Marry her for methinks I have a huge liking to the young Man and so Heaven bless them together say I and a Murrain seize those that will spoil a good Match between those that love one another Nay said Don Quixote if Marriage should be always the consequent of mutual Love what would become of the Prerogative of Parents and their Authority over their Children If young Girls might always chuse their own Husbands we should have the best Families intermarry with Coachmen and Grooms and young Heiresses would throw themselves away upon the first young wild Fellows whose promising out-sides and assurance makes 'em set up for Fortunes though all their Stock consists in Impudence For the Understanding which alone should distinguish and chuse in these Cases as in all others is apt to be blinded or biass'd by Love and Affection and Matrimony is so nice and critical a point that it requires not only our own cautious Management but even the Direction of a superiour Power to chuse right Whoever undertakes a Voyage if he be Wise makes it his business to find out an agreeable Companion How Cautious then should he be who must take a Journey for Life whose Fellow-Traveller must be as inseparable from him as himself his Companion at Bed and Board and sharer of all the Pleasures and Fatigues of his Journey as the Wife must be to the Husband She is no such sort of Ware that a Man can be rid of when he pleases When once that 's purchas'd no Exchange no Sale no Alienation can be made She is an inseparable Acident to Man Marriage is a Noose which fasten'd about the Neck runs the closer and sits more uneasie by our struggling to get loose 't is a Gordian Knot which none can untie and being twisted with our Thread of Life nothing but the Scythe of Death can cut it I
Beautiful Who knows but this Solitude this Occasion the Stillness of the Night may rouze my sleeping Desires and cause me in my latter Age to fall where I never stumbl'd before In such Cases 't is better to fly than to stay to face the Danger But why do I argue so foolishly Sure 't is impossible that an antiquated Waiting-Matron in a long White Vail like a Winding-sheet with a Pair of Spectacles over her Nose should create or waken an unchaste Thought in the most abandon'd Libertine in the World Is there any of these Duena's or Governante's that has good Flesh Is there one of those Implements of Antichambers that is not impertinent affected and intolerable Avaunt then all ye idle Croud of wrinkl'd Female-Waiters unfit for any humane Recreation How is that Lady to be commended who they tell us set up only a couple of Mawkins in her Chamber exactly representing two Waiting-Matrons with their Work before ' em The State and Decorum of her Room was as well kept with those Statues as it wou'd have been with real Duena's So saying he started from the Bed to lock the Door and shut out Donna Rodriguez but in that very Moment she happen'd to come in with a Wax-Candle lighted at what Time spying the Knight near her wrapp'd in his Quilt his Face bound up and a woollen Cap on his Head she was frighted again and started two or three Steps back Sir Knight said she is my Honour safe for I don't think it looks handsomely in you to come out of your Bed I ought to ask you the same Question Madam said Don Quixote and therefore tell me whether I shall be safe from being assaulted and ravish'd Whom are you afraid of Sir Knight cry'd she Of you reply'd Don Quixote for in short I am not made of Marble nor you of Brass neither is it now the Noon of Day but that of Night and a little later too if I am not mistaken besides we are in a Place more close and private than the Cave must have been where the false and presumptuous Aeneas enjoy'd the beautiful and tender-hearted Dido However give me your Hand Madam for I desire no greater Security than that of my own Continence and Circumspection This said he kiss'd his own Right-hand and with it took hold of hers which she gave him with the same Ceremony Here Cid Hamet making a Parenthesis swears by Mahomet he would have given the best Coat of two that he had only to have seen the Knight and the Matron walk thus Hand in Hand from the Chamber-door to the Bed-side To make short Don Quixote went to Bed again and Donna Rodriguez sate down in a Chair at some Distance without taking off her Spectacles or setting down the Candle Don Quixote crouded up together and cover'd himself close all but the Face and after they had both remain'd a while in Silence the first that broke it was the Knight Now Madam said he you may freely unburden your Heart sure of Attention to your Complaints from chaste Ears and Assistance in your Distress from a compassionate Heart I believe no less said the Matron and promis'd my self no less charitable an Answer from a Person of so graceful and pleasing a Presence The Case then is Noble Sir that tho' you see me sitting in this Chair in the Middle of Arragon in the Habit of an insignificant unhappy Duena I am of Asturias de Oviedo and of one of the best Families in that Province But my hard Fortune and the Neglect of my Parents who fell to Decay too soon I can't tell how brought me to Madrid where because they cou'd do no better for Fear of the worst they plac'd me with a Court-Lady to be her Chamber-Maid And tho' I say it for all manner of Plain-Work I never was outdone by any one in all my Life My Father and Mother left me at Service and return'd home and some few Years after they both dy'd and went to Heaven I hope for they were very good and religious Catholicks Then was I left an Orphan and wholly reduc'd to the sorrowful Condition of such Court-Servants wretched Wages and a slender Allowance About the same time the Gentleman-Usher fell in Love with me before I dreamt of any such Thing Heaven knows He was somewhat stricken in Years had a fine Beard was a personable Man and what 's more as good a Gentleman as the King for he was of the Mountains We did not carry Matters so close in our Love but it came to my Lady's Ears and so to hinder Peoples Tongues without any more ado she caus'd us to be marry'd in the Face of our Holy Mother the Catholick Church which Matrimony produc'd a Daughter that made an End of my good Fortune if I had any Not that I dy'd in Childbed for I went my full Time and was safely deliver'd but because my Husband rest his Soul dy'd a while after of a Fright and had I but Time to tell you how it happen'd I dare say you wou'd wonder Here she began to weep piteously Good Sir cry'd she I must beg your Pardon for I can't contain my self As often as I think of my poor Husband I cant forbear shedding of Tears Bless me how he look'd and with what Stateliness he would ride with my Lady behind him on a stout Mule as black as Jet for Coaches and Chairs were not us'd then as they are now a-days but the Ladies rode behind their Gentlemen-Ushers And now my Tongue 's in I can't help telling you the whole Story that you may see what a fine well-bred Man my dear Husband was and how nice in every Punctilio One Day at Madrid as he came into St. James's-Street which is somewhat narrow with my Lady behind him he met a Judge of the Court with two Officers before him Whereupon as soon as he saw him to shew his Respect my Husband turn'd about his Mule as if he design'd to have waited on him But my Lady whispering him in the Ear what d' you mean said she Blockhead Don't you know your Way The Judge on his side was no less civil and stopping his Horse Sir said he pray keep your Way you must not go with me it becomes me rather to wait on my Lady Casilda for that was the Lady's Name However my Husband with his Hat in his Hand persisted in his civil Intentions But at last my Lady being very angry with him for it took a great Pin or rather as I am apt to believe a Bodkin out of her Case and run it into his Back upon which my Husband suddenly starting and crying out fell out of the Saddle and pull'd down my Lady after him Immediately two of her Footmen ran to help her and the Judge and his Officers did the like The Gate of Guadalajara was presently in a Hubbub the idle People about the Gate I mean In short my Lady return'd home a foot and my Husband went to a Surgeon complaining
to retrieve my Credit I made this second Attempt and now have succeeded For I know him to be so nicely punctual in whatever his Word and Honour is engag'd for that he will undoubtedly perform his Promise This Sir is the Sum of the whole Story and I beg the Favour of you to conceal me from Don Quixote that my Project may not be ruin'd the second Time and that the honest Gentleman who is naturally a Man of good Parts may recover his Understanding Oh! Sir reply'd Don Antonio what have you to answer for in robbing the World of the most diverting Folly that ever was expos'd among Mankind Consider Sir that his Cure can never benefit the Publick half so much as his Distemper But I am apt to believe Sir Batchelor that his Madness is too firmly fix'd for your Art to remove and Heaven forgive me I can't forbear wishing it may be so for by Don Quixote's Cure we not only lose his good Company but the Drolleries and comical Humours of Sancho Pança too which are enough to cure Melancholy it self of the Spleen However I promise to say nothing of the Matter though I confidently believe Sir your Pains will be to no Purpose Carrasco told him that having succeeded so far he was oblig'd to cherish better Hopes and asking Don Antonio if he had any farther Service to command him he took his Leave and packing up his Armour on a Carriage-Mule presently mounted his Charging-Horse and leaving the City that very Day posted homewards meeting no Adventure on the Road worth a Place in this faithful History Don Antonio gave an Account of the Discourse he had had with Carrasco to the Vice-Roy who was vex'd to think that so much pleasant Diversion was like to be lost to all those that were acquainted with the Don's Follies Six Days did Don Quixote keep his Bed very dejected sullen and out of Humour and full of severe and black Reflections on his fatal Overthrow Sancho was his Comforter and among other his Crumbs of Comfort My dear Master quoth he chear up come pluck up a good Heart and be thankful for coming off no worse Why a Man has broke his Neck with a less Fall and you han't so much as a broken Rib. Consider Sir that they that win sometimes must lose we must not always look for Bacon where you see the Hoâ—ks Come Sir cry a Fig for the Doctor since you won't need him this Bout let us jog home fair and softly without thinking any more of sauntring up and down no Body knows whither in Quest of Adventures and bloody Noses Why Sir I am the greatest Loser an you go to that though 't is you that are in the worst Pickle 'T is true I was weary of being a Governor and gave over all Thoughts that Way but yet I never parted with my Inclination of being an Earl and now if you miss being a King by casting off your Knight-Errantry poor I may go whistle for my Earldom No more of that Sancho said Don Quixote I shall only retire for a Year and then reassume my honourable Profession which will undoubtedly secure me a Kingdom and thee an Earldom Heav'n grant it may quoth Sancho and no Mischief betide us Hope well and have well says the Proverb Don Antonio coming in broke off the Discourse and with great Signs of Joy calling to Don Quixote Reward me Sir cry'd he for my good News Don Gregorio and the Renegado are safe arriv'd they are now at the Viceroy's Palace and will be here this Moment The Knight was a little reviv'd at this News truly Sir said he to Don Antonio I could almost be sorry for his good Fortune since he has forestall'd the Glory I should have acquir'd in releasing by the Strength of my Arm not only him but all the Christian Slaves in Barbary But whither am I transported Wretch that I am am I not miserably conquered shamefully overthrown forbidden the Paths of Glory for a whole long tedious Year What should I boast who am fitter for a Distaff than a Sword No more of that quoth Sancho Better my Hog dirty at home than no Hog at all To Day for thee and to Morrow for me Never lay this ill Fortune to Heart he that 's down to Day may be up to Morrow unless he has a Mind to lie a bed Hang Bruises so Rouse Sir and bid Don Gregorio welcome to Spain for by the Hurry in the House I believe he 's come and so it happen'd for Don Gregorio having paid his Duty to the Viceroy and given him an Account of his Delivery was just arriv'd at Don Antonio's with the Renegado very impatient to see Anna Felix He had chang'd the Female Habit he wore when he was freed for one suitable to his Sex which he had from a Captive who came along with him in the Vessel and appear'd a very amiable and handsome Gentleman though not above eighteen Years of Age. Ricote and his Daughter went out to meet him the Father with Tears and the Daughter with a joyful Modesty Their Salutation was reserv'd without an Embrace their Love being too refin'd for any loose Behaviour But their Beauties surpriz'd every Body Silence was emphatical in their Joys and their Eyes spoke more Love than their Tongues could express The Renegado gave a short Account of the Success of his Voyage and Don Gregorio briefly related the Shifts he was put to among the Women in his Confinement which shew'd his Wit and Discretion to be much above his Years Ricote gratify'd the Ship 's Crew very nobly and particularly the Renegado who was once more receiv'd into the Bosom of the Church having with due Penance and sincere Repentance purify'd himself from all his former Uncleanness Some few Days after the Viceroy in concert with Don Antonio took such Measures as were expedient to get the Banishment of Ricote and his Daughter repeal'd judging it no Inconvenience to the Nation that so just and orthodox Persons should remain among ' em Don Antonio being oblig'd to go to Court about some other Matters offer'd to sollicit in their behalf hinting to him that through the Intercession of Friends and more powerful Bribes many difficult Matters were brought about there to the Satisfaction of the Parties There is no relying upon Favour and Bribes in our Business said Ricote who was by for the great Don Bernardino de Velâ—sco Count de Salazar to whom the King gave the Charge of our Expulsion is a Person of too strict and rigid Justice to be mov'd either by Money Favour or Affection and though I cannot deny him the Character of a merciful Judge in other Matters yet his piercing and diligent Policy finds the Body of our Moriscan Race to be so corrupted that Amputation is the only Cure He is an Argus in his Ministry and by his watchful Eyes has discover'd the most secret Springs of their Machination and resolving to prevent the Danger which the whole Kingdom