am wholly in your power Prudence I will mask my beauty and set you free Wooer A mask may shadow your beauty but cannot extinguish it no more than a dark cloud can the bright Sun And as the Sun begets life and gives light so your beauty begets love and gives delight to all that do behold it Prudence And as Time brings Death Darkness and Obscurity so Age brings wrinckles and Absence forgetfulness burying love in the ruines of Beauty Wooer My love can never die nor hath time power to vade your beauty Prudence Nothing escapes Times tyranny but what the soul possesses Wooer You are the soul of beauty and beauty the soul of love Prudence Such souls have no Eternity but die as bodies do Wooer O save my soul and love me Prudence 'T is not in my power for love is free and resolute it can neither be commanded nor intreated Exeunt Scene 10. Enter the Lady Liberty Sir Thomas Letgo Sir William Holdfast the Lady Parrot the Lady Minion Master Disswader Sir VVilliam Holdfasts Friend being met at a Feast at Sir Thomas Letgo's House LEtgo Ladies you are become melancholy of a sudden I hope you are not tyr'd with dancing Liberty Yes saith we want divertisements wherefore prethy Sir Thomas Letgo send for thy affianced Mistris to make sport Letgo I am asham'd she should be seen or made known to this noble company Liberty O divulge her by all means that the World may know you do despise her and that you will marry her only because she is rich and to obey your Fathers commands Letgo I will obey your commands and send for her He sends for her in the mean time he is talking to another Enter the Lady Mute holding down her head and looking simply Liberty Sir Thomas Letgo your wise Mistris is come to welcome your Guests Letgo She wants words to express her self and Wit to entertain them Liberty Your Father knew you wanted not Wit so much as Wealth Letgo Many Fathers leave their sons nothing but their follies and vices for their Inheritance But my Father not having Vices or Follies enough of his own hath left me another mans Fool for an Annuity Parrot Is she a fool Liberty O yes for she seldom speaks Parrot That 's a great sign of simplicity indeed Liberty She is a meer Changeling for when she doth speak it is but when she is question'd and then for the most part she gives but one answer to all sorts of questions Parrot What Answer is that Liberty Her Answer is she cannot tell Holdfast Lady there may be such questions ask'd as are beyond a wise mans understanding to resolve But perchance she is sceptick that doubts all things All the company laugh Liberty What do you judge the scepticks fools Holdfast A man may judge all those to be fools that are not scepticks Liberty I judge all those that think her not a fool are fools Holdfast Then Lady I am condemn'd for I cannot give sentence against any of your Sex neither in thoughts or words Exeunt ACT II. Scene 11. Enter the Lady Prudence and the Country Gentleman as Suter They take their places the Assembly about them This wooing part of the Country Gentleman was written by the Marquiss of Newcastle Country Gentleman Madam though I no Courtier am by Education Yet I more truth may speak and here declare Your charming Eyes turn wanton thoughts to virtue Each modest smile converts the sinfull'st soul To holy Matrimony and each Grace and Motion Takes more than the fairest Face I am not young not yet condemn'd to age Not handsome nor yet I think ill-favour'd I do not swell with riches nor am poor No Palaces yet have Conveniences What though Poetick Raptures I do want My Judgment 's clearer than those hotter brains To make a Joynture out of verse and songs Or thirds in Oratory to endow you The Mean betwixt Extremes is Virtue still If so then make me happy and your self Courtiers may tell you that you may enjoy And marry pleasure there each minutes time There is all freedom for the female Sex Though you are bound yet feel not you are ty'd For liberty begins when you 'r a Bride Your Husband your Protection and the Court Doth cure all jealousie and fonder doubts Which there are laught at as the greatest follies If not by most yet they 'r thought mortal sins 'T is Heaven on Earth for Ladies that seem wise But you are vertuous and those ways despise Therefore take me that honour you for that Here ends my Lord Marquisses writing Prudence Worthy Sir could I perswade my Affection to listen to your sure you should not be deny'd but it is deaf or obstinate it will neither take your counsel nor be intreated But since you wooe so worthily I shall esteem you honourable as well you deserve Exeunt Scene 12. Enter the Lady Parrot and the Lady Minion PArrot Sweet Madam I could not pass by your house for my life but I must enter to see you although I was here but yesterday Minion Dear Madam I am very much joy'd to see you for I am never well but in your company They sit down both in one Couch Parrot When did you see the Lady Gravity Minion I have not seen her these two days Parrot Lord she is the strangest Lady that ever I knew in my life her company is so uneasie and let me tell you as a secret she hath a very ill Reputation Minion If I thought that I would not keep her company Parrot Since I heard that Report I have shunn'd her company as much as I could Minion Even so will I for I would not keep any body company that I thought were not chaste for a World But who is her servant can you tell Parrot 'T is commonly reported Sir Henry Courtly is her servant Minion Out upon him he is the veriest Whoremaster in all the Town nay if she keeps him company I will not come near her I 'll warrant you Parrot Nor I although she would fain be dear with me and seeks all the ways she can to be great with me sending her Gentleman-Usher every day to me with a How do you Minion No pray do not be dear nor great with her but let you and I be dear and great and that will anger her to the heart Parrot That it will faith therefore let us go to morrow together and visit her to let her see how dear and great friends we are Minion Content Parrot Agreed Enter Sir Henry Courtly as to visit the Lady Minion Minion Lord Sir Henry Courtly I have not seen you these three days Courtly I was here yesterday Madam to wait upon you but you were abroad then I went to wait upon you my Lady Parrot but you were also from home Parrot So then I had but the reversions of the Lady Minions Visit Courtly I can be but in one place at one time Madam Minion Why should you take it ill Madam that he should
Doctor help may be found in giving directions and ordering the cordial Doctor So I understand you would have my counsel what you should do and my industry to order and get a meeting between Monsieur Discretion and you and to make the match betwixt you Volante You understand me right Doctor VVell I will study the means and trye if I can procure thee a man Volante Good fortune be your guide Doctor And Monsieur Discretion your Husband Ex. Scene 41. Enter Madamosel Caprisia alone CApris. Thoughts be at rest for since my love is honest and the person I love worthy I may love honourably for he is not only learned with study experienced with time and practice but he is natures favourite she hath endued his soul with uncontrouled reason his mind with noble thoughts his heart with heroick generosity and his brain with a supream wit Besides she hath presented his judgement and understanding with such a clear Prospective-glasse of speculations and such a Multiplying-glass of conception as he seeth farther and discerns more into natures works than any man she hath made before him She slops a little time then speaks But let me consider I have us'd this worthy Gentleman uncivilly nay rudely I have dispised him wherefore he cannot love me for nature abhors neglect and if he cannot love me in honesty he ought not to marry me and if I be not his wife for certain I shall dye for love or live a most unhappy life which is far worse than death Hay ho Enter Madam la Mere her Mother Mere What Daughter sick with love Capris. O Mother love is a Tyrant which never lets the mind be at rest and the thoughts are the torments and when the mind is tormented the body is seldom in health Mere Well to ease you I will go to this Lord Generosity and pray him to give you a visit Capris. By no means Mother for I had rather dye with love than live to be despised with scorn for he will refuse your desires or if he should come it would be but to express his hate or proudly triumph on my unhappy state Madamosel Caprisia goes out Madamosel Mere alone Mere She is most desperately in love but I will endeavour to settle her mind Ex. Scene 42. Enter Doctor Freedom and Madamosel Volante DOctor Am not I a good Doctor now that hath got you a good Husband Volante Nay Doctor he is but a Suiter as yet Doctor Why do not you woe upon the Stage as the rest of your Comorades doth Volante O fye Doctor Discretion never whines our love in publick Doctor So you love to be in private Volante Why Doctor the purest love is most conceal'd it lyes in the heart and it warms it self by its own fire Doctor Take heed for if you keep it too tenderly and close it may chance to catch cold when it comes abroad Volante True love ought to keep home and not to gossip abroad Enter a Servant-maid Servant-maid Madam Monsieur Discretion is come to visit you Volante Come Doctor be a witnesse of our contract Doctor I had rather stay with your maid Volante She hath not wit to entertain you Doctor Nor none to anger me Volante Pray come away for no wise man is angry with wit Doctor I perceive if I do not go with you that you will call me fool Ex. Scene 43. Enter Monsieur Comorade and Monsieur Bon Compaignon BOn Compaignon Comorade what cause makes you so fine to day Comorade I am going to two weddings to day Bon Compaignon Faith one had been enough but how can you divide yourself betwixt two Bridals Comorade I shall not need to divide my self since the Bridals keeps together for they are marryed both in one Church and by one Priest and they feast in one house Bon Compaignon And will they lye in one bed Comorade No surely they will have two beds for fear each Bride-groom should mistake his Bride Bon Compaignon VVell I wish the Bride-grooms and their Brides joy and their Guests good chear Comorade VVill not you be one of the Guests Bon Compaignon No for a Bon Compaignon shuns Hymens Court neither will Hymen entertain him But who are the Brides and Bride-grooms Comorade Monsieur Nobilissimo and Madamosel Doltche and Monsieur Perfection and Madamosel Solid Bon Compaignon Is Monsieur Profession a Guest there Comorade No for he swears now that he hates marriage as he hates death Bon Compaignon But he loves a Mistress as he loves life Ex. Scene 44. Enter Monsieur Generosity and Madamosel Caprisia he following her GEnerosity Lady why do you shun my company in going from me praystay and give my visit a civil entertainment for though I am not worthy of your affection yet my love deserves you civility Capris. I know you are come to laugh at me which is ignobly done for heroick generous spirits doth not triumph on the weak effeminate Sex Generosity Pray believe I am a Gentleman for if I loved you not yet I would never be rude to be uncivil to you or your Sex But I love you so well as when I leave to serve you with my life may nature leave to nourish me fortune leave to favour me and Heaven leave to blesse me and then let death cast me into Hell there to be tormented Capris. I am more obliged to your generous affections than to my own merits Generosity The ill opinion of your self doth not lessen your vertues and if you think me worthy to be your Husband and will agree we will go strait to Church and be marryed Capri. I shall not refuse you Ex. FINIS PROLOGUE THE Poetress sayes that if the Play be bad She 's very sorry and could wish she had A better plot more wit and skill to make A Play that might each several humour take But she sayes if your humours are not fixt Or that they are extravagantly mixt Impossible a Play for to present With such variety and temperiment But some will think it tedious or find fault Say the Design or Language is stark naught Besides the loose unsetled brains she fears Seeth with squint eyes and hears with Asses ears But she is confident all in this round Their understandings clear and judgements sound And if her Play deserves not praise she knows They 'l neither scoff in words nor preposterous shows Without disturbance you will let it dye And in the Grave of silence let it lye Youths Glory and Deaths Banquet THE FIRST PART 1. THe Lord de L'amour 2. Sir Thomas Father Love 3. Master Comfort Sir Thomas Father Loves Friend 4. Master Charity the Lord de L'amours Friend 5. Adviser the Lord de L'amours man 6. A Iustice of Peace 1. The Queen Attention 2. The Lady Incontinent Mistriss to the Lord de L'amour 3. The Lady Mother Love wife to Sir Thomas Father Love 4. The Lady Sanparelle daughter to Sir Thomas Father and Lady Mother Love 5. The Lady Innocence the affianced Mistriss
or Wife to the Lord de L'amour 6. Passive the Lady Innocences maid 7. Falshood an informer to maids of the Lady Incontinent Physitians Natural Philosophers Moral Philosophers young Students Souldiers Lovers Mourners Virgins Servants and others ACT I. Scene 1. Enter Sir Thomas Father Love and his wife the Mother Lady Love MOther Love Husband you have a strange nature that having but one child and never like to have more and this your childe a daughter that you should breed her so strictly as to give her no time for recreation nor no liberty for company nor freedom for conversation but keeps her as a Prisoner and makes her a slave to her book and your tedious moral discourses when other children have Play-fellows and toyes to sport and passe their time withall Father Love Good wife be content doth not she play when she reads books of Poetry and can there be nobler amiabler finer usefuller and wiser companions than the Sciences or pleasanter Play-fellows than the Muses can she have freer conversation than with wit or more various recreations than Scenes Sonets and Poems Tragical Comical and Musical and the like Or have prettier toyes to sport withall than fancie and hath not the liberty so many hours in the day as children have to play in Mother Love Do you call this playing which sets her brain a working to find out the conceits when perchance there is none to find out but are cheats and cozens the Readers with empty words at best it fills her head but with strange phantasmes disturbs her sleep with frightfull dreams of transformed bodyes of Monsters and ugly shaped vices of Hells and Furies and terrifying Gods of Wars and Battles of long travels and dangerous escapes and the pleasantest is but dark groves gloomy fields and the happiest condition but to walk idly about the Elizium fields and thus you breed your daughter as if your Posterity were to be raised from a Poets phantastical brain Father Love I wish my Posterity may last but as long as Homers lines Mother Love Truly it will be a fine airey brood No no I will have her bred as to make a good houswife as to know how to order her Family breed her Children govern her Servants entertain her Neighbours and to fashion herself to all companies times and places and not to be mewed and moped up as she is from all the World insomuch as she never saw twenty persons in one company in all her life unless it be in pictures which you set her to stare on above an hour everyday Besides what Father doth educate their Daughters that office belongs to me but because you have never a Son to tutor therefore you will turn Cotqucan and teach your daughter which is my work Father Love Let me tell you Wife that is the reason all women are fools for women breeding up women one fool breeding up another and as long as that custom lasts there is no hopes of amendment and ancient customs being a second nature makes folly hereditary in that Sex by reason their education is effeminate and their times spent in pins points and laces their study only vain fashions which breeds prodigality pride and envie Mother Love What would you have women bred up to swear swagger gaming drinking Whoring as most men are Father Love No Wife I would have them bred in learned Schools to noble Arts and Sciences as wise men are Mother Love What Arts to ride Horses and fight Dewels Father Love Yes if it be to defend their Honour Countrey and Religion For noble Arts makes not base Vices nor is the cause of lewd actions nor is unseemly for any Sex but baseness vice and lewdnesse invents unhandsome and undecent Arts which dishonours by the practice either Sex Mother Love Come come Husband I will have her bred as usually our Sex is and not after a new fashioned way created out of a self-opiniated that you can alter nature by education No no let me tell you a woman will be a woman do what you can and you may assoon create a new World as change a womans nature and disposition Enter the Lady Sanspareille as to her Father as not thinking her Mother was there Sanspareille O Father I have been in search of you to ask you a question concerning the Sun When she sees her Mother she starts back Mother What have you to do with the Sun and lives in the shade of the Worlds obscuritie Sansp. VVhy Madam where would you have me live can I live in a more serene aire than in my Fathers house or in a purer or clearer light than in my Parents eyes or more splendrous than in my Parents company Mother I would have you live at Court there to have honour favour and grace and not to lose your time ignorantly knowing nothing of the VVorld nor the VVorld of you Sansp. Can I live with more honour than with my Father and You or have more favour than your loves or is there a greater grace than to be Daughter of vertuous Parents can I use or imploy my time better than to obey my Parents commands need I know more than honesty modesty civility and duty As for the VVorld mankind is so partial to each self as they have no faith on the worth of their Neighbour neither doth they take notice of a Stranger but to be taken notice of Mother Love Yes yes your beauty will attract eyes and ears which are the doors to let in good opinion and admiration Sansp. Had I a tongue like a Cerces-wand to charm all ears that heard me it would straight transform men from civil Obligers to spitefull Detractors or false Slanderers my beauty may only serve but as a bribe to tempt men to intrap my youth and to betray my innocency Mother To betray a fools-head of your own Lord Lord how the dispositions of Youth is changed since I was young for before I came to your Age I thought my Parents unnaturall because they did not provide me a Husband Sanspareille If all youth were of my humour their dispositions are changed indeed for Heaven knows it is the only curse I fear a Husband Mother Love Why then you think me curst in Marrying your Father Sansp. No Madam you are blest not only in being a Wife a condition you desired but being marryed to such a man that wishes could not hope for Mother Love Why then my good Fortune may encourage you and raise a hope to get the like Sansp. O no! It rather drives me to dispair beleiving there is no second Mother Love Come come you are an unnatural Child to flatter your Father so much and not me when I endured great pains to breed bear and nurse you up Sansp. I do not flatter Madam for I speak nothing but my thoughts and that which Love and duty doth allow and truth approve of Father Love Come come Wife the Jeerals wit will out-argue both ours Ex. Scene 2. Enter the
will as to make a crooked body straight Ex. Scene 9. Enter Sir Thomas Father Love bringing in the Auditours into a large roome nobly furnished where at one end or side is a place raised and railed with guilt rayles for the Lady Sanspareille to stand on FAther Love Gentlemen pray do not think me rude by drawing you from your serious studies by an intruding invitation to hear a young student discourse 1. Philosopher 'T is true Sir we should have been glad to have heard you discourse for you might instruct us where as a young student is rather to be instructed for it is time that brings knowledg or gets wit or speakes eloquently Father Love 'T is true but yet in some naturall ingenuity it is as strong as time and produceth that which time of it selfe could not do 2. Philosopher Sir if your young students wit be as fine as her standing place it will be delightfull 3. Philosopher Sir you have adorned her Theater to inthrone her wit Father Gentlemen I wish her wit may furnish and so adorn your understanding but if you please to sit such as it is shall be presented to you Being all placed the Lady Sanspereille enters upon the mounted place drest all in black fit for the gravity of the Company The Company upon her entrance seems to be struck with amaze of her beauty they speak to her Father 1. Philosopher Sir we perceive now you have invited us to feast our eyes not our eares Father Gentlemen if you please to give her so much patience to hear her then judge or censure as you please Then they all cry Whist Whist After the Lady by her Civill bows had given respect to all the Company with a modest and amiable Countenance with a gentle and well pleased eye and a gracefull and winning behaviour thus speaks Lady Sanspareile The Majesty of Age and sage gravity are objects able to put unexperienced and unpracticed youth out of Countenance and bashfullness is the greatest enemy to discourse for it discomposes the Countenance disturbes the thoughts disorders the words and confounds the sence therein but youth hath many times this advantage that it apprehends not the disgrace that experienced years and deeper judgment doth For the truth is bashfullness proceeds from too great an apprehension but I not apprehending far enough may comit errours through a confident ignorance but if you think my confidence too much for my youth yet pray judge not my modesty to litle for my Sex for speaking belongs as much to the Female Sex as to the Masculine so as it be on sober Subjects and to grave Fathers and wise men or intruth to any degree of Age or Sex or Birth so as it be timely suitably rationably and modestly delivered And why may not women speak in publick and to publick assemblies as well as in privat visits and particular entertainments and to particular persons and acquaintance And in reason it should be more commendable that womens discourse and actions are such as they fear no witness Nay they ought never to speak or shew themselves to those persons that are not domestick without sufficient witness for privat discourses which are like whisperings and secret meetings and particular entertainments are subject to loos customs rude behaviours and lascivious discourses mischievous designes and dangerous plots all which takes leave without warrant and assaults without warning yet it is probable this Auditory will think my Father is too indulgent to his Child to let her to make publick Orations or that he is too vain glorious as to believe or hope his Child may get applause or esteem in the world by her discourses But First I must remember them that it is naturall for Parents to be fond of their Children Secondly it is no crime nor indiscretion for a Father to believe or think his Child may have as much wit as any other mans Child if he have given as good education Thirdly it is not against nature and reason but that women may discourse of several subjects as well as men and that they may have as probable opinions and as profitable inventions as fresh fancies as quick wits and as easy expressions as men if their education be answerable to their naturall capacityes and ingenuityes As for my selfe I must tell this assembly I have been bred industriously for I have been instructed with as much knowledg as my yeares was capable to understand but the truth is that my educatours strove to ripen my understanding before the naturall time like those that hastens fruit to be ripe forcing it by artificiall means not staying for the naturall heat of the Sun so was my understanding like as the tree and my wit as the fruit by which it wants the Aromaticall and delicious relish that naturall time gives which makes me fear my wit will relish to the eares of the hearers as such forced fruits to the tast of the eaters I have only this request that though you may dislike it for want of the naturall sweetness yet pray esteem of it for the rarity as being not usuall for one of my years and Sex to speak argue and make Orations in a publick assembly but it is likely this assembly may think this is a vain glorious Prologue to my following discourse But I must tell this worthy grave and learned assembly that I am not bound to follow a vain custome nay I may say a dishonest one as when Oratours do dissemble as on my Conscience most do selfe love being naturall to all besides many times they disgrace their birth by a dissembling humbleness and bely their thoughts knowledge and education when as they say they are unworthy to speak to such an assembly and that they are unlearned their knowledg is little their understanding dull their judgment weak their capacity narrow and that they are unexperienced and unfurnished of expressions to deliver the subject or matter of their discourse if this or the like which they say be true they abuse the Auditory and themselves to invite them or draw them to hear that they think is not worth the listening to and if they be not so as they say they bely the nature and education which heaven forbid I should be so ungratefull to nature so base to my birth so undutifull to my Educatour and so unthankfull to the Gods No no I will not be so for I will publickly acknowledg natures favours who hath given me more wit than time hath given me yeares she hath furnished me with ingenuity beyond an ordinary proportion and hath drawn the plat form of my mind Mathematically and pensiled me with her best coullourd dyes for which I am bound morally to serve her As for my birth as I am of the same kind of Mankind I am equall with the rest let my condition be never so poor I have no reason to be ashamed of the Kind but my birth is Honourable by length of time as for my education it
out Here ends my Lord Marquesses FINIS This written by my Lord Marquess THE SECOND PART OF Youths Glory and Deaths Banquet ACT I. Scene 2. Enter the Lord de l'Amour and the Lady Innocence the Lord de l'Amour seems to appear angry LAdy Innocence My Lord what makes you frown on me surely I never willingly offended you Lord de l'Amour But the report I hear of you offends me Lady Innocence I hope my behaviour is not lyable to any aspertion or evil censure for as you have used me civily so I have behaved my self modestly Lord de l'Amour I perceive you are a subtil insinuating young Lady Lady Innocence Think me not subtil for being so brod as not to slight your Love not so uncivil as to scorn your noble favours but strive to merit your worthy affections but if I have erred in my endeavours pray pardon me and if you please to tell me my errour I shall rectify it Lord de l'Amour I hear you will speak more lyes than tell truths Lady Innocence Truly I am too strict a Votary to truth to tell a lye Lord de l'Amour I should be glad you were vowed one of her Order Lady Innocence I am so and have taken the habit of sincerity upon me Lord de l'Amour Tell me truly do you never use to lye Lady Innocence If you have opinion that I never or seldome speak truth let me say what I will you will still believe it is a lye but truly I did never tell a lye as I do know of but did alwayes speak truth Lord de l'Amour I hear to my great grief you have many faults pray mend them Lady Innocence I am sory there are so many ill reports or rather aspersions laid on me as to grieve you but surely youth cannot commit many faults but Age that hath had time to commit faults in but if you can believe my faults surmounts not all accounts I shall desire to know them Lord de l'Amour Examine yourself and you will find them Lady Innocence I shall call a particular Councel and make a General search and what thoughts words or actions I can find guilty or prove Criminal I shall condemn and sacrifice them on the Altar of Repentance and crave mercy and forgiveness Lord de l'Amour Pray do so Ex. Lady Innocence alone 'T is strange his humour should be so suddenly changed from loving professions kind expressions and pleasing smiles to sharp words and angry frowns and that he should seem to love me as much as he did now to believe me so little as it seems he doth I hope it is only the superfluities of his affections that runs into the indiscretion of jealousie Ex. Enter Sanspareile and her Audience As soon as she hath taken her standing place A Messenger Enters Messenger The Queen of Attention is come to be one of your Audience The Company makes a bustle Enter the Queen of Attention and her Train Sir Thomas Father Love kneels down and kisses her hand Queen I am come to hear and see your Daughter whom fame reports to be the wonder of this Age Father It had been more proper and fit for my Daughter to have waited at your Court-Gates untill your Majesty had comanded her into your presence than for your Majesty to come hither to hear and see her but she being a plain bred girle durst not be so bold Queen If your Daughters wit be answerable to her beauty she is a wonder indeed Sanspareile comes off from the place where she stands and makes 3. Obeysances and coming near kneels down and kisses the Queens hand Lady Sanspareile Madam this gracious honour and honourable grace is beyond the management of my young years the evil of my weak confidence and the compass of my little wit and my obscure breeding hath made me so Ignorant that I know not in what manner I should behave or address myself towards your Majesty but if I commit faults in misbehaviour pray impute it to my ignorant youth and not to disobedience Queen I see nothing yet in your behaviour but that you may be not only a pattern for young but also for grave Age to take example from Sanspareile Madam the generosity of your Maiesties Nature the Magnificence of your Majesties mind and the Charity of your Majesties disposition gives an overflowing commendation like to the goodness of the Gods that gives more to the Creature than the Creature can deserve Queen Let me tell you young Lady your speeches are as pleasing to the eare as your beauty is delightfull to the eye Sanspareile Your Majesty is like a Deity can turn or translate words like poor Mortals into a glorified sence like as into a glorified body Queen Sir Thomas Father Love if your Daughter speak at all times and alwayes so eloquently I should not wonder you let her speak in publick Father I beseech your Majesty that you will rather judge me an over fond Father which is natural than a vain opiniatour in that I give her liberty to speak in publick Queen If it were a vanity it might be well forgiven but pray let me hear her speak Sanspareile makes three obeysances as she steps back from the Queen to her standing-place and then ascends Sanspareile Great Queen I nor no other should offer or dare to speak before or to such Supreme persons as your Majesty without a sore premeditation for the words and behaviours of speakers should be fitted to the degrees and qualities Powers Offices and Authorities of the Auditory But your Majesties commands makes that an obedient duty that would otherwayes be a presumption wherefore on the ground of duty I speak at this time before your Majesty but the Royalty of your person the brightnesse of your beauty the fame of your vertues and the glorious splendour of your Majestical Grandeur hath so amazed me that my understanding is as it were blind which will cause my tongue to stagger and my words to run stumbling out of my mouth but I hope your Justice will pardon them For as Divine Justice belongs to the Gods moral Justice to Nature so humane Justice to Monarchial Princes which justice is weighed and measured out according to merit or desert be they good or bad For which Justice Gods and Princes are both feared and loved and Justice is the chief Pillar or upholder of Monarchical States and Common-wealths for without Justice there can be no Government and without Government there can be no Rule and without Rule there can be no peace and where peace is not there will be warrs and warrs causeth ruine and destruction But for the most part those Kingdomes that have arrived to the height of Glory declines or falls to ruine The reason is that a low condition is necessitated and weak wherefore they seek for help to strengthen themselves which makes or rather forces every particular person to associate unite either by Laws of Covenants to which they submit
the Lawyers she will plead for them gratis 1 Gent. It is a pious and Noble Act 2 Gent. Also her Father hath challenged all the eloquent Oratours of our Nation to make Orations extemporately likewise he hath challenged the most famous Schollars and learned men to dispute with her 1 Gent. Her Father is most doatingly fond of her 2 Gent. He hath reason and out of love to her he is building a very fine Library to lay in all her Works for they say she writes much and hath writ many excellent Works 1 Gent. She deserves a Statue for her self as well as a Library for her Works Ex. Scene 9. Enter the Lady Innocence and Adviser the Lord de l'Amours Man ADviser Madam my Lord and the Lady Incontinent hath sent me to tell you you must come to be examined about the Chain Lady Innocence I am so shrunk up with fear that methinks I could thrust my self into a Nut-shell to hide myself Adviser Faith if you could it would not conceal you for they would crack the Nut-shell and find you out Adviser goes out Lady Innocence alone O that Innocency should tremble as much as guilt with fear but if they did but know how little I value the riches of the world they would not believe I should steal so frivolous a thing Enter as to the Lady Innocence the Lord de l'Amour the Lady Incontinent and a Iustice and the Ladies two Maids Informer and Falshood Lord de l'Amour The Lady Incontinent hath brought a Iustice who hath power to make you confesse She falls a shaking Lady Incontinent You may perceive her guilty she trembles and shakes looks so pale Lady Innocence Pray judge me not guilty by my countenance bring it not as a witnesse against me for the childish fears in my heart causeth a trembling which like an Earthquake shakes my body and makes my breath as pent up Air that pants for passage striving to get forth and my innocent bashfulnesse or my bashful innocency makes my eyes like perturbed lights that see nothing cleerly my words to flow like rough and broken streams for my mind is so troubled and my passions in such a storm as my words can neither flow easie nor free Lady Incontinent Here be two that will witnesse that she stole the Chain Falshood I will swear she took the Chain of Pearl and put it in her pocket and so went out of the room with it Lord de l'Amour Why did not you follow her and take it from her Falshood I thought she would bring it again for I never suspected she would deny it Lord de l'Amour And will you witnesse the same Informer Informer I will witnesse I saw it in her hand looking on it Lord de l'Amour What say you for your self Lady Innocence Lady Innocence I say my accusements doth not make me guilty of a crime but I confess I took the Chain in my hand out of a curiosity and trial of my judgment or skill to see whether I could find any defect in somuch valued esteemed and high-prized a thing as Pearl but not any wayes out of a covetous Appetite as to steal it nor had I any tempting thoughts thereto nor wisht I that or the like should be lawfully given me Lord de l'Amour What did you with it when you had done viewing it Lady Innocence I laid it on the Table from whence I took it off Lady Incontinent But here are those that will swear you carried it away with you Maids Yes that we will Lady Innocence I cannot alwayes avoid a false accusation Lord de l'Amour Will you swear you did not Lady Innocence Yes If my Oath will be taken Lady Incontinent Well you did take it that is certain wherefore you were best confess it or you shall be wrackt to make you confess it Lady Innocence I will never bear false-witness against my self I will dye first Lady Incontinent My Lord pray let her be carried away and be whipt until the be forced to confess it Lady Innocence Let me killed first for to be whipt is base and is only fit for Gally-slaves or those that are born from Slaves but to be kill'd is Noble and gives an Honourable triumph Iustice. Young Lady you are heer accus'd by two Witnesses and unless you can bring Evidence to clear you you are liable to punishment Lady Innocence Truly Sir I have but two invisible Witnesses Conscience and Innocency to plead for me and Truth my Judge who cannot be brib'd although it may be over-powr'd by false and slanderous reports Iustice. But it is imagin'd by your best friends you are guilty Lady Innocence Neither my friends nor enemies can create me a Criminal with their Imaginations Lord de l'Amour But speak are you guilty Lady Innocence To what purpose should I speak for what can I say to those that make it their delight to accuse condemn and execute or what justice can I expect to have where there is no equity wherefore to plead were a folly when all hopes are cut off to desire life a double misery if I must indure Torments but silence and patience shall be my two Companions the one to help me in my suffering the other to cut of impertinencies She goes out from them Lord de l'Amour What think you Justice is she guilty Lady Incontinent Why should you make a question when it hath been proved by Witnesses Come Justice Come and drink a Cup of Sack and give your opinion then The Lady Innocence comes as passing by alone Lady Innocence I am so confidently accus'd of this Theft as I am half perswaded I did take the Chain but that Honour and Honesty sayes I did not Ex. Scene 10. Enter Sir Thomas Father Love at one door and a servant-Maid at the other door SIr Thomas Father Love Where is your Mistriss the people do flock about the house to see her as I think they will pull it upon my head if she shews not her self to them wherefore call her The Maid goes out Enter the Lady Sanspareile Sir Thomas Father Love Come Come Child there are such expectations without for thee but what makes thee to look so heavy Lady Sanspareile Truly Sir I am not well Sir Thomas Father Love Not well Heaven bless thee where art thou Sick Lady Sanspareile I cannot say I am very sick or in any great pain but I find a general alteration in me as it were a fainting of spirits Sir Thomas Father Love Prethee say not so thou dost so affright me but thou art not very sick art thou Lady Sanspareile I hope I shall be better Sir Sir Thomas Father Love My dear Child go to bed whilst I send for some Doctors to thee Ex. Scene 11. Enter the Lady Innocence alone TO whom shall I powre out my sad complaint for all do them a Melancholy mind O Gods how willingly would I be buried in the grave with dust and feast the worms rather than live amongst
mankind Oh! Oh! that these Melancholy damps arising from my afflicted Soul could extinguish the Lamp of life or that my sad and grieved thoughts that feed upon my troubled Spirits could bite with sorrows teeth the thread of life asunder She sits down on the ground leaning her Cheek on her hand and weeps Enter to her her Maid Passive Passive My sweet Mistriss why do you weep Lady Innocence The spring of grief doth send forth streams of tears to wash off my disgrace and the foul spots which slandring tongues have stain'd or rather slain'd my reputation for which my eyes did they not weep would seem unnaturally unkind but my dead reputation is imbalm'd with salt tears bitter groans shrowded in sorrows and intomb'd in misery Passive My dear Lady you are imbalm'd with the pretious gums of Virtue and sweet spices of wit wrapt up in youth and beauty and are intombed or rather inthroned in honest hearts wherefore waste not your self with grief for certainly the world will condemn your Accusers and not you Lady Innocence Those feeble hopes cannot my spirits uphold they give no light of comfort to my mind for black despair like Melancholy night mustles my thoughts and makes my Soul as blind O but why do I thus mourn in sad complaints and do not curse Fortune Fates and destiny their Wheels there spindel threads and Chains She heaves up her hands and lifts up her eyes May Nature great turn all again to nought That nothing may with joy receive a thought She goes out in a very Melancholy posture Passive alone She is deeply Melancholy Heavens ease her mind Ex. Scene 12. Enter 2. or 3. Doctors 1. DOctor The Lady Sanspareile cannot live for the hath no pulse 2. Doctor No she is descending to the grave 3. Doctor But had we best tell her Father so 1. Doctor No by no means as yet 2. Doctor Why not he will know when she is dead Enter the Lady Mother Love as to the Doctors Lady Mother Love Mr. Doctors What do you mean to let my Daughter dye will you not prescribe something to give her 1. Doctor Madam we shall do our best you may be confident Lady Mother What if you prescribed a Glister or a Purge 1. Doctor I shall not need Madam Lady Mother Why if any one be sick they ought to have some remedies applyed to them 2. Doctor We shall consider what course is best to be taken Lady Mother Love For Gods sake do not neglect her Ex. Enter Sir Thomas Father Love to the Doctors Sir Thomas Father Love Mr. Doctors what is your opinion of my Daughter 1. Doctor Truly Sir she is very dangerous sick Sir Thomas Father Love I can find no pulse she hath 2. Doctor Nor we Sir that makes us doubt her Father Love Pray consult about her what is best to be done 1. Doctor We shall Sir Ex. Scene 13. Enter the Lord de l'Amour and the Lady Innocence LOrd de l'Amour What makes you look so gastly pale Lady Innocence I am so ashamed of my accusation as my bashfullness is beyond all blushing as greatest griefs are beyond all tears it causes my limbs to tremble face look pale like Death's assault making my courage fail Lord de l'Amour Perchance you are asham'd to confess so base a crime you may confess to me for I shall strive to hide your faults and cover them with some excuse wherefore confess for though it be a fault to steal yet it is a double fault to hide it with a Lye and by these crimes you do offend the Gods nor will their anger be remov'd unless you confess and ask pardon Lady Innocence Your Doctrine is very good and Application well applied had I been Guilty but being Innocent they are vainly uttered Lord de l'Amour I hope you will agree to resign the interest you have to me if I should desire you Lady Innocence Saints never offred up their Souls to God more willingly than I all interest to you not but that I love you yet I should be loath to be bound to one that hath so ill an opinion of me as you have Lord de l'Amour The World would condemn me if I should marry you to stain my Posterity with your Crimes Lady Innocence O Heavens is my scandal of so deep a dye as to stain Predecessors and Posterity yours may avoid it but my Predecessors are spotted all over She goes out weeping Lord de l'Amour I cannot chuse but love her although I fear she is guilty but I perceive she is resolv'd not to confess as being asham'd of it Ex. Scene 14. Enter the Lady Sanspareile in a bed as being sick the bed drawn on the stage and her Father kneels by the bed-side whilst she speaks as dying SAnspareile Let spotless Virgins bear me to my grave and holy Anthems sing before my Herse and soft-toucht Instruments to play the while and keep just time with tears that trickling fall from the sad eyes of my most sorrowful friends and one my Coffin spread upon a covering of smooth Sattin white to signify here how I lived a Virgin pure I lived and dyed and let my works which I have wrought and spun out of my brain be given to times Library to keep alive my name And set a Lilly-Garland on my Herse On every leaf therein stick on a verse And when my Coffin to the grave you bring Let Poets on my Herse some verses fling For whilst I liv'd I worship'd Nature great And Poets are by Nature favoured I in the Muses Arms desire to Dye For I was bred up in their Company And my request 's to them when I am dead I may amongst them be remembered But death drawes near my destiny is come Father farewell may time take up my years which death cuts off and add them to your life Peace keep your mind and Comfort give you rest He weeps But why do you weep dear Father my life 's not worth your tears yet Heavens doe weep and mingle with dull earth their Cristal streams and earth 's refresht thereby so is not death for death is ever dry Father O Child O Child my heart will break Sanspareile Sir why do you sigh and groan and grieve that I must dye life is perpetual and death is but a change of shape Only I wish that Death may order it so That from your rootes I may your flower grow I fear not Death nor am I loath to dye Yet I am loath to leave your Company But O the Muses stay my dying lips to close Farewel Dyes Her Father starts up from her Bed-side and stares about the Bed and the dead Lady is drawn off the stage Father What art thou sted dear Soul where dost thou goe stay and I will bear thee Company Stares about Where art thou Soul why mak'st thou such great haste I pray thee stay and take thy aged Fathers Soul along with thee left it should wander in the dark and gloomy
shades to find thee out O! O death quick dispatch Let me unprisoned be my body is old decayed and worn times ruins shews it Oh! Oh! let life fall for pitty pull it down stops a time Am I not dead you cruel powers above to lengthen out an old mans life in misery and pain why did not Time put out the sight of both my eyes and also deaf my ears that I might neither hear nor see the death of my lifes joy O Luxurious Death how greedily thou feedst on youth and beauty and leist old Age hang withering on lifes tree O shake me off let me no longer grow if not grief shall by force snip off my tender stalk and pitty lay me in the silent grave Heark Heark I hear her call me I come I come Childe He feches a great sigh O no she is gone she is gone I saw her dead her head hung down like as a Lilly whose stalk was broke by some rude blusterous wind He stares about There there I see her on her dutious knee Her humble eyes cast to the ground Her spotlesse hands held up for blessings crave asking forgivenesse for faults not done O no She is dead She is dead I saw her eye-lids cloze like watry Clouds which joyn to shut out the bright Sun and felt her hands which Death made cold and numb like as to Cristal balls She is gone she is gone and restless grows my mind thoughts strive with thoughts struggle in my brain passions with passions in my heart make War My Spirits run like furies all about Help help for Heavens sake and let life out Ex. Scene 15. Enter the Lady Mother Love alone LAdy Mother Love O my daughter my daughter is dead she is dead Oh that ever I was born to bear a Childe to dye before me Oh she was the Comfort of my Heart the pleasure of my Eyes the delight of my life Oh she was Good she was Sweet she was Fair O what shall I do what shall I do Ex. Scene 16. Enter Sir Thomas Father Love half distracted SIr Thomas Father Love Mercury lend me thy winged feet that I may fly to Heaven there to observe how all the Gods and Godesses doe gaze upon my Beautiful Childe for she is fairer than the light that great Apollo gives and her discourse more ravishing than the Musick of the Spheres but as soon as she sees me she will leave them all and run unto me as she used to do kneeling will kiss my hands which she must not do being a Goddess and I a Mortal wherefore I must kneel to her and carry her an offering but what shall the offering be Let me think Why I will kneel and offer up my Aged life unto her Memory but now I think of it better I cannot dye in Heaven wherefore let me Study let me Study what she did love best when she lived upon the Earth O I now remember when I did ask her what she lov'd best she would Answer her Father and her Fame but I believe if she were here it would be a hard Question for her to resolve which she preferr'd and being not to be separated in Affection we will not part in our Resurrection wherefore Mercury farewel for I will fly up with the Wings of her good Fame And carry up her Wit and there will strow It on Heavens floor as bright as Stars will show Her Innocency shall make new Milky waies Her Virtue shall Create new Worlds to praise Her never-dying Name Ha Ho! It shall be so it shall be so Ex. ACT IV. Scene 17. Enter the Lady Innocence alone studious with her eyes to the ground thou casting them up speaks LAdy Innocence I am not so much in love with the World as to desire to live nor have I offended Heaven so much as to be afraid to dye then way should I prolong my life when Honour bids me dye for what Noble Soul had not rather part with the Body than live in Infamy Then t is not Death that affrights me and yet I find my Soul is loath to leave its bodily Mansion but O to be buried in Oblivions grave is all I fear no Monumental Fame nor famous Monument my Soul displeases that makes it loath to leave the body in forgotten dust whilst it doth sadly wander in the Aire She walks a turn or two as in a musing thought then speaks Soul be at ease for the Memory of the dead is but like a dying Beauty vades by degrees or like a Flower whither'd hath neither Sent Colour nor Tast but moulders into dust so hath the mind no form of what is past But like as formless heaps those Objects lye And are intomb'd in the dark Memory O Foolish Vanity to be so much a slave to Fame since those that Fame doth love the best and favoureth most are not Eternal Wherefore Nature perswades me to release my woe Though foolish Superstition Natures foe Forbids it yet Reason aloud sayes dye Since Ease Peace Rest doth in the grave still lye Walkes about as in a silent musing then speaks I am resolv'd then Come sweet Death thou friend that never fails give me my liberty But stay my hasty resolution for I would not willingly go to the grave as beasts doe without Ceremony for I being friendless those humane Funeral rites will be neglected none will take the pains nor be at the charge to see them perform'd but some base vulgar person will throw me into the Earth without respect or regard wherefore I will Living perform the Ceremonies and as a guess or friend be at my own Funeral it shall be so and I will prepare it Ex. Scene 18. Enter Sir Thomas Father Love alone and for a time walkes as in a musing or thinking with his eyes cast on the ground then speaks FAther Love Multitudes of Melancholy thoughts croud in my brain And run to pull down Reason from his Throne Fury as Captain leads the way Patience and Hope is trod upon O these distracted thoughts burrie my Soul about Seeking a place to get a passage out But all the Ports are stopp'd O Cursed Death for to prolong a life that is so weary of its Mansion Enter Mr. Comfort Sir Thomas Father Loves friend Friend Sir will you give order for your Daughters Funeral and direct how you will have her interred Father Love How say you why I will have you rip my body open and make it as a Coffin to lay her in then heave us gently on sighs fetcht deep and lay us on a Herse of sorrowful groans then cover us with a Dark Black Pitchy Spungy Cloud made of thick Vapour drawn from bleeding hearts from whence may tears of showers run powring down making a Sea to drown remembrance in But O remembrance is a fury grown Torments my Soul now she is gone Friend Sir where there is no remedy you must have patience Father Love Patience out upon her she is an Idle lazy Gossip and keep
none Company but Cowards and Fools and slothful conscientious Persons neither is she usefull but for indifferent imployments for what is of extraordinary worth Patience doth but disgrace it not set it forth for that which is transcendent and Supreme Patience cannot reach Wherefore give me Fury for what it cannot raise to Heaven it throwes it straight to Hell were you never there Friend No nor I hope shall never come there Father Love Why Sir I was there all the last Night and there I was tortured for chiding my Daughter two or three times whilst she lived once because she went in the Sun without her Mask another time because her Gloves were in her Pocket when they should have been on her Hands and another time because she slep'd when she should have studied and then I remember she wept O! O! those pretious tears Devil that I was to grieve her sweet Nature harmless Thoughts and Innocent Soul O how I hate my self for being so unnaturally kind O kill me and rid be of my painful life Friend He is much distracted Heaven cure him Exeunt Scene 18. Enter two Gentlemen 1. Gentleman The Miracle is deceas'd the Lady Sanspareile I hear is dead 2. Gent. Yes and it 's reported her Statue shall be set up in every College and in the most publick places in the City at the publick charge and the Queen will build a Sumptuous and Glorious Tomb on her sleeping Ashes 1. Gent. She deserves more than can be given her 2. Gent. I hear her death hath made her Father mad 1. Gent. Though her death hath not made every one mad like her Father yet it hath made every one melancholy for I never saw so general a sadness in my life 2. Gent. There is nothing moves the mind to sadnesse more than when Death devours Youth Beauty Wit and Virtue all at once Ex. Scene 19. There is a Hearse placed upon the Stage covered with black a Garland of Ciprus at the head of the Herse and a Garland of Mirtle at one side and a Basket of Flowers on the other Enter the Lady Innocence alone drest in White and her hair hound up in several coloured Ribbons when she first comes in speaks thus LAdy Innocence O Nature thou hast created bodies and minds subject to pains torments yet thou hast made death to release them for though Death hath power over Life yet Life can command Death when it will for Death dares not stay when Life would passe away Death is the Ferry-man and Life the waftage She kneels down and prayeth But here great Nature I do pray to thee Though I call Death let him not cruel be Great Jove I pray when in cold earth I lye Let it be known how innocent I die Then she rises and directs her self to her Herse Here in the midst my sadder Hearse I see Covered with black though my chief Mourners be Yet I am white as innocent as day As pure as spotlesse Lillies born in May My loose and flowing hair with Ribbons ty'd To make Death Amorous of me now his Bride Watchet for truth hair-colour for despair And white as innocent as purest Ayre Scarlet for cruelty to stop my breath Darkning of Nature black a type of death Then she takes up the Basket of Flowers and as she strews them speaks Roses and Lillies 'bout my Coffin strew Primroses Pinks Violets fresh and new And though in deaths cold arms anon I lye weeps I 'le weep a showr of tears these may not dye A Ciprus Garland here is for my head To crown me Queen of Innocence when dead A Mirtle Garland on the left side plac't To shew I was a Lover pure chast Now all my saddest Rites being thus about me And I have not one wish that is without me She placeth her self on her Herse with a Dagger or pointed knife in her hand Here on this Herse I mount the Throne of death Peace crown my soul my body rest on earth Yet before I dye Like to a Swan I will sing my Elegie She sings as she is sitting on the Herse thus Life is a trouble at the best And in it we can find no rest Ioyes still with sorrows they are Crown'd No quietnesse till in the ground Man vexes man still we do find He is the torture of his kind False man I scorn thee in my grave Death come I call thee as my slave Here ends my Lords Writing And just then stabs her self In the mean time the Lord de l'Amour comes and peeps through the Curtain or Hanging and speaks as to himself whilst she is a dying Lord de l'Amour I will observe how she passes away her time when she is alone Lady Innocence Great Iove grant that the light of Truth may not be put out with the extinguisher of Malice Lord de l'Amour How she feeds her melancholy He enters and goeth to her What are you acting a melancholy Play by your self alone Lady Innocence My part is almost done Lord de l'Amour By Heaven she hath stabb'd her self Calls Help Help Lady Innocence Call not for help life is gone so farr t is past recovery wherefore stay and hear my last words I die as judging it unworthy to out-live my honest Name and honourable Reputation As for my accusers I can easily forgive them because they are below my Hate or Anger neither are worthy my revenge But you for whom I had not only a devout but an Idolatrous Affection which offered with a zealous Piety and pure Flame the sincerity of my heart But you instead of rewarding my Love was cruel to my life and Honour for which my soul did mourn under a Veil of sadnesse and my thoughts covered with discontent sate weeping by But those mourning Thoughts I have cast off cloathing my self with Deaths pale Garments As for my pure Reputation and white Simplicity that is spotted with black Infamy by Hellish slander I have laid them at Heavens Gates just Gods to scoure them clean that all the World may know how innocent I have been But Oh! farewel my fleeting Spirits pure Angels bear away Lord de l'Amour O speak at the last Are you guilty or not Lady Innocence I am no more guilty of those crimes laid to my charge than Heaven is of sin O Gods receive me Oh! Oh! Dies Lord de l'Amour Great Patience assist me Heart hold life in Till I can find who is guilty of this sinn Ex. The Herse drawn off the Stage Scene 20. Enter Sir Thomas Father Love brought in a Chair as sick his Friend by him Mr. Comfort Friend How are you now Father Love O Friend I shall now be well Heaven hath pitty on me and will release me soon and if my Daughter be not buryed I would have her kept as long out of the Grave as she can be kept that I might bear her company Friend She cannot be kept longer because she was not unbowelled Father Love Who speaks her
had yet all the good seeds that Nature and Education hath sown in me and sprouted forth in bud are nipt with Misfortunes wither'd with Sorrows blasted with Sighs and drown'd in Tears Holdfast For what Mute For being inslav'd unto an unworthy person who neither loves Virtue nor values Honour but laughs at my youth and flings scorns on my Innocency which makes me almost murmur at Heaven and apt to think the Gods unjust to let Fortune betray me to Power and Tyranny Holdfast Trouble not your self for certainly your bondage may be taken off if it be discreetly handled for he seems willing to part with you upon easie terms for you heard him offer to sell you Mute I wish I were worth your Purchase Holdfast Would you willingly change him for me Mute I cannot be worse and you seem so noble a person as perswades me to hope I may be happy Holdfast And if I had the whole World I would give it for you rather than not have you and I should think my self more inrich'd by the enjoyment than if the Gods made new Worlds to present me Mute I have heard Heaven protects the Innocent defends the Harmless and provides for the Helpless which if it doth the Gods will give me you Exeunt Scene 27. Enter Mistris Parle Mistris Trifle Mistris Fondly Mistris Vanity and one of the Matrons PArle Ha ha ha Is this the young wife Lady that all the World admir'd for her Prudence and Judgment Vanity Faith her Judgment hath err'd in her choise Fondly I am glad for now I may marry to whom I will for I cannot choose worse and my Father and Mother did bid me nay charged me to imitate her Trifle So did mine Vanity And mine Parle Well for my part I rejoyce for now we shall have the old way of Wooing again to imbrace and kiss in corners to hear amorous and wanton discourse Fondly That way of wooing is best Vanity You say true for I hate this way of wooing there is no pleasure in it Parle No saith to stand gazing and prating a mile asunder Matron You make short miles Parle Why two inches is a Lovers mile and three a long league Trifle It was not likely she should choose well or ever be happily married Matron Why so Trifle By reason she was curs'd by all the maids back-holders widows and widowers in the Town Matron But she had the prayers of all the maried women Parle But she had the curses of all the maried men for they croud in amongst the back-holders sometimes Exeunt Scene 28. Enter Sir Thomas Letgo and the Lady Liberty LEtgo Sweet Madam you are the Godess which my Thoughts adore Liberty You flatter Letgo Love cannot flatter for Lovers think all their praises truth Liberty The Lady Mute is your Godess Letgo If there were no other Godess of your Sex but she I should become an infidel to love nay an Atheist believing there were no such Deity as Love Exeunt Scene 29. Enter the Lady Prudence and Intelligencer her Woman INtelligencer Madam all the Town condemns you Prudence And do you condemn me too Intelligen. No Madam for I am bound as being your servant to submit to your will liking and pleasure Prudence Why the choise is honest for they may swear I am not enamour'd with his Person But had he been a fair Youth or known to be a debanch'd Man they might have justly condemn'd me either for my fond Affection and amorous Love or wilde Choice Intelligencer 'Faith they may think your Choise is wilde by reason you have chosen out of a Labyrinth not knowing where his beginning or end is Prudence Why Virtue is the Beginning and Happiness I hope will be the End Intelligen. I wish it may prove so Madam Prudence But pray tell me Did you ever hear me speak worse than I did to him Intelligen. How do you mean Madam in that you gave your self away Prudence No in that I did not present my self more Eloquently Intelligen. Methought your Speech did not flow so smooth as it was us'd to do as if your Tongue did know you did commit a fault in granting to his Sute Prudence No truly for my desire did out-run my speech for desiring to speak best to him I loved most obstructed my Tongue which made my words run unevenly Intelligen. That 's a common misfortune for when any one strives to speak wisely they most often speak foolishly Prudence 'T is true for strife is an enemy to speech for those that speak not free and easie never speak well For when as Passion wrestles with the Tongue The Sense is weak and down the words are slung Exeunt Scene 30. Enter two Gentlemen 1 GEntleman 'T is strange the Lady Prudence that is so beautiful rich and nobly born and hath so great a wit should chuse a man so poor and mean and so ill-favour'd 2 Gentlem. In my opinion it is not strange for certainly there is a sympathy between the spirits of virtuous souls which begets love although in deformed persons And this is the true Love for that which proceeds from Covetousness or Ambition or is produced by the Senses is rather an Appetite which is apt to surfet or dies as soon as enjoy'd or turns with Fortunes wheel 1 Gentlem. Well I wish for the Ladies sake who is known to be Virtuous her Husband may prove as Virtuous as she Exeunt Scene 31. Enter a Grave Matron Mistris Fondly Mistris Vanity Mistris Trifle and Mistris Parle MAtron Ladies do you hear the News Parle VVhat News Matron VVhy Mistris Simple is gone very early this morning out of Town with Sir Anthony Gosling and 't is said they will be maried before they return Vanity I cannot believe it for she was the most unlikely to be maried of any of us all Parle I perceive that Maid that can have Fortune to be her friend shall not want a Husband Fondly You say true and Fortune is a better friend than our Parents are for our Parents are contented we should live Maids all the time of our lives when Fortune most commonly gives Maids Husbands at one time or other Matron Ladies why do you complain of your Parents for their wary care who would not have you marry but to such Husbands as you may be happy withall and therefore are cautious how to chuse when Fortune makes Matches at Random Fondly I had rather marry at Random than not marry at all Matron Why then perchance in stead of a worthy person you may marry a base fellow and in stead of a rich husband a beggar Parle Those women that are curious in their Choise may chance to die old Maids Matron 'T is better to die an old Maid than to live a miserable life which will be if an unhappy Wife Vanity There is no misery like being an old Maid She sings a piece of an old Song O that I were so happy once to be a wedded Wife I would fulfil my Husbands will all the
very thought doth almost make me mad especially when I remember the hopes I had to advance my Son by marriage but you shall go back to carry Letters that shall declare my anger and my command for my Sons repair unto me since I cannot return home as yet I le dispatch you strait Exeunt Scene 5. Enter the two Maids Joan and Kate KAte It is a very pleasing sight to see the new marryed Children I may say for so are they yet they behave themselves so gravely and so formally as if they were an Ancoret couple for there is no appearance of Childishness in their behaviour Ioan. But I wonder my Master and Lady will suffer them to bed together Kate My Master did perswade his Nephew to ly by himself but he would not be perswaded Ioan. Truly he is a very fine youth and she a very pretty young Lady I dare say she will make a very handsome woman Kate I believe she will and a virtuous woman and he a handsome and gallant man Exeunt Scene 6. Enter Sir Thomas Gravity and his Lady SIr Thomas Gravity So Wife by your perswasions to this marriage I have lost the love of my only Brother Lady And I am like to lose my only Child through the grief of the departure of her Husband for she looks so pale and is so weak with crying and fasting for she feeds only on grief and her tears quenches her droughth I think she will dy Sir Thomas Gravity It is your own fault for you would never be quiet nor let be at rest untill they were married Lady Would I and my Child had never seen your Nephew Sir Thomas Gravity All the hopes we have is that my Brother will be pacified with time Exeunt Scene 7. Enter the two Maids Joan and Kate KAte I never saw so much affectionate grief as at the parting of the young married couple Ioan. O passionate tears flow naturally from Childrens Eyes Kate When they were to part they did kiss weep and imbrace so close as their tears mixt together Ioan. They will weep as much for joy when they meet again as they do now for grief at parting Kate But absence and time doth waste Love Ioan. Absence doth rather put out the flame of Love than waste the Lamp but their Love was lighted so soon that if it be not put out it will last a long time Kate Nay faith the sooner it is lighted the sooner it will burn out but to make Love last long is sometimes to put it out and then to re-inkindle it for a continual fire doth waste the fuell and a Candle will soon burn out although it be lighted but at one end but absence is an extinguisher which saves it and return is relighting it Ioan. Are Lovers like Candles Kate Yes faith for as there are Candles of all sorts and sizes so there are Lovers of all degrees some are like Torch-light that flame high and bright but soon waste out others like watch Candles that give but a dim dull light but will last a long time and some that give but a little light and are strait burnt out Ioan. But what is á snast in a Candle which is like a blazing Star with a stream or tail that mels a Candle and makes it run out Kate Faith a snast is like a Mistriss as a Courtizan or servant that makes waste of Matrimonial Love it makes Matrimonial Love fall into a snuf but prudent discretion and chast kisses are as snuffers to clip of those snasts before they get power or are in a blaze or like a Bodkin that picks or puls them out with the point of a sharp tongue Ioan. By your similizing you make love Greace Kate You say right for there is nothing so apt to flame and melt as Greace and Love it is there natural properties to waste in flame Ioan. Well but let us not waste our time in idle talk but go about our imployments Kate Why talking is the greatest or most imployment women use but indeed love is idle Exeunt ACT II. Scene 8. Enter two Men 1 MAn My Lord is extremely troubled for the marriage of his Son 2 Man He is so and so very angry with his Son as he would not give him his blessing when he came although he hath not seen him in seven years for so long hath my Lord been Embassadour here 1 Man Sometimes Embassadours are many years imployed out of there own Country 2 Man They are so but my Lord is sent for home which I am very glad of 1 Man Doth his Son return home with him 2 Man No for he sends him to travel into several Countryes for as many years as my Lord hath been from his Country 1 Man Why doth he command him so long a time to Travel having no more Sons 2 Man To have him Travel out the remembrance of his Wife at least his affections to her 1 Man Why would not my Lord have his Son love his Wife now he is marryed 2 Man No for my Lord saith that the marriage is not a true marriage for the Lady is not of marrigable years and that is not untill the Female is past twelve 1 Man Why so 2 Man I know not but so it is according to our Canon and Common Laws Exeunt Scene 9. Enter Sir Thomas Gravity and his Lady SIr Thomas Gravity I hear my Brother hath sent his Son to Travel for seven years Lady Pray do not let my Daughter know it for it will kill her if she hears it Sir Thomas Gravity I hear also that he will endeavour to break the marriage Lady The Devill break his heart Sir Thomas Gravity Why do you say so Lady Have I not reason to say so when he endeavours to break my Childs heart and so my heart a dishonest man he is to offer to part man and wife Sir Thomas Gravity But if the marriage will not hold good in law they are not lawfull man and wife Lady I perceive you will take your Brothers part against me Exeunt Scene 10. Enter Mistriss Odd-Humour and her Maid Nan NAn Mistriss I hear there is a Suter preparing to come a wooing to you Mistriss Odd-Humour What preparations doth he make Nan Why he hath been with your Father to treat with him concerning your Portion Mistriss Odd-Humour That is not a Suters preparation that is a Merchants Trafficking that is to make a bargain not to woo a Mistriss but the preparations of a Suter are fine Clothes Coaches and great Attendance with rich presents otherwise a woman is not wooed but a Husband bought Nan Or a Wife sold Mistriss Odd-Humour No the woman or her friends are the purchasers for Husbands never give any thing for a VVife but the woman or her friends pay down ready money for a Husband although they sell Land for it Portions portions undo a Family Nan Nan But for all that you had rather undo a Family than want a Husband Mistriss Odd-Humour Self-love
your Solitary musing to those whose condition of fortune denies them the use of the World and worldly pleasures and do not deny your self for I hate a self-denying Creature Solitary Well you shall prevail with me for this one time Exeunt Scene 4. Enter two Gentlemen 1 GEnt. Have you seen Monsieur Thesis Book of Poems that is newly come forth 2 Gent. Yes 1 Gent. And how do you approve of them 2 Gent. As well as I do of an Anagram 1 Gent. There is never an Anagram in the Book 2 Gent. Why the whole Book is an Anagram of Doctor Costives Poems for he hath only new placed the words as they do Anagrams of names but the whole matter sense and conceits is the same 1 Gent. Indeed he hath imitated him 2 Gent. By your favour imitation is only to be like another and not the same but his is the very same as I have told you for which he deserves less praises than a Imitator although those that do imitate any Excellent Poet do not gain so much honour to themselves as they give honour to those they imitate as for example the Imitators of Homer give more honour to Homer than to themselves for Imitators are only as Painters where he that is imitated is as Nature or the Gods for the one draws but Copies the other makes the Original so that there is as much difference as a Man and the Picture of a man 1 Gent. But a Painter that draws the Picture of a man very like the life he may be more famous than the man that is drawn 2 Gent. But not worshiped and adored as Nature is that made him for Art cannot out-do Nature nor do as Nature hath doue and doth do and an Imitator is but an Artificer when as the Original Author is a Creator and ought to be accounted of and respected and worship'd as Divine but there are or have been but very few Poets that have such powers and parts to make a perfect Creature which is a perfect work as Poems scenes or story but some Poets are like Chymist that strive and labour to make as Nature makes but most fail in their work and lose their labours wanting that Natural heat or well-tempered matter which should produce such Creatures as Nature makes yet some 't is said have made gold as Raimond Lully 1 Gent. Then Homer is a Raimond Lully in Poetry 2 Gent. Nay rather Raimond Lully is a Homer in Chymistry for no man ought to compare Homer to any Creature by reason he hath out-wrought Nature having done that which she never did for Nature never made Gods Devils Hells and Heavens as Homer hath done 1 Gent. For my part I had rather be Raimond Lully than Homer for I had rather have the Art to make Gold than the Nature to make Poems 2 Gent. You would not gain so much by Gold as Wit 1 Gent. VVhy what shall I gain 2 Gent. Fame 1 Gent. But Gold will bribe Fame to speak as I would have her if I have gold enough to bribe her 2 Gent. But Poems will force Fame to speak for you without a bribe 1 Gent. That were all one to me so she speaks well whether she be forced flattered or bribed 2 Gent. But there is a fate of Poverty on Chymists as much as on Poets so that if you were as Excellent a Chymist as Raimond Lully you would be as poor as Divine Homer 1 Gent. Not if I could make Gold 2 Gent. Yes for Chymists spend more in the making of Gold than they gain by it when it is made and how should they do otherways when they must needs spend a pound or pounds to make a grain for the limbeck of a Chymist is but a little Still set a-work by a wasting fire whereas Natures limbeck is the Earth set a-work by an undecaiable fire which is the Sun this Chymist becomes as poor by an over-greedy Covetousness as Poets by a despising Carelessness 1 Gent. Then Chymists are like those Bodyes which become lean with over-eating and Poets like those Bodyes that becomes lean by over-fasting the one surfits the other famishes 2 Gent. Indeed Chymists are so greedily Covetous and feed so much on hopes as they never leave untill such time as they have vomitted out all their wealth and then they become sick and lean with Poverty Exeunt ACT II. Scene 5. Enter two other Gentlemen 1 GEnt. The Lady Faction is of a strange busy Nature she runs into every House takes upon her to govern every ones Family yet cannot rule her own she condemns all Actions be they never so Just or Prudent all Officers be they never so worthy or fitly placed all Laws be they never so beneficial or expedient for the Common-wealth all Customs be they never so antient or harmless indeed all peaceable wise and well ordered Governments she hates and delights in nothing but disordered change 2 Gent. 'T is said she is in love with Sir William Admirer 1 Gent. And he in love with the Lady Peaceable 2 Gent. She is a sweet Lady Exeunt Scene 6. Enter the Lady Peaceable and Sir William Admirer ADmirer I will sit and lissen to what you say and learn from you what is the noblest way to entertain the life Peaceable Alas I cannot learn you I have not long experience my Soul is young a meer novice Soul it wants both growth and experienced years for I am like a House that is newly built and is unfurnished Admirer Though you are young you are wise Peaceable How can you expect youth can be discreet and wise when those that have lived long and have had much experience are oftentimes Fools wherefore I can only entertain you like a Parrot only with words not wisely to discourse and if you should lissen to me long I shall surfit your Ears with idle words for the Brain will be as soon over-charged with noise as the Stomack with meat Admirer I can no more be weary of thy words than Angels are with Heavenly Musick Enter the Lady Faction Faction Lady Peaceable the report is you are Ambitious to get away my Servant Sir William Admirer from me Peaceable I am only Ambitious to live Virtuously and dye Piously Faction Why Servant I hear you have forsaken me Admirer I despaired of ever being entertained and so I never really address'd a Sute but by way of rallery Faction Your Mistriss doth not believe you for she blushes either for your faults or her own Peaceable My Bashfullness proceeds not from a Guiltiness either of base actions wicked thoughts mean birth or breeding or evill or erronious opinions for my bashfullness is only an effect of Nature for as some are naturally fearfull so am I naturally bashfull and as Melancholy produces a sad Countenance so Bashfullness produceth an extorted and a Convulsive Countenance as Grief produces tears so Bashfullness produces blushing Admirer Lady Faction spare my young Mistriss lest she should out-run you in a full speed Faction
it do her any service Nurse Fondly But we indanger her life by the consenting to this journey for she that hath been bred with tenderness and delicateness can never indure the coldes and heats the dirt and dust that Travellers are subject to Besides to be disturbed and broaken of her sleep and to have ill Lodging or perhaps none at all and then to travel a foot like a Pilgrim Her tender feet will never indure the hard ground nor her young legs never able to bear her body so long a journey Foster Trusty T is true this journey may very much incommode her yet if she doth not go to satisfie her mind I cannot perceive any hopes of life but do foresee her certain death for her mind is so restless and her thoughts works so much upon her body as it begins to waste for she is become lean and pale Nurse Fondly Well! Heaven bless you both and prosper your journey but pray let me hear often from you for I shall be in great frights and fears Foster Trusty If we should write it may chance to discover us if our Letters should be opened wherefore you must have patience Ex. Scene 10. Enter the Lady Bashfull and Reformer her Woman LAdy Bashfull Reformer I am little beholding to you Reformer Why Madam Lady Bashfull Why you might have told a lye for me once in your life for if you had not spoke the truth by saying I was the Lady they came to see they would never have guest I had been she for they expected me to have been a free bold Entertainer as they were Visitors which is as I do perceive to be rudely familiar at first sight Reformer But to have told a lye had been to commit a sin Lady Bashfull In my conscience tto please the effeminate Sex is to praise their beauty wit vertue and goa most pious and charitable act in helping the distressed Besides you had not only helped a present distress but released a whole life out of misery for as long as I live my thoughts will torment me O! They wound my very soul already they will hinder my pious devotions For when I pray I shall think more of my bashfull behaviour and the disgrace I have received thereby than of Heaven Besides they will starve me not suffering the meat to go down my throat or else to choke me causing it to go awry or else they will cause a Feaver for in my conscience I shall blush even in my sleep if I can sleep For certainly I shall dream of my disgrace which will be as bad as a waking memory O! that I had Opium I would take it that I might forget all things For as long as I have memory I shall remember my simple behaviour and as for my Page he shall go I am resolved to turn him away Reformer Why madam Lady Bashfull Because he let them come in Reformer He could not help it for they followed him at the heels they they never stayed for an answer from you or to know whether you were within or no and there were a great many of them Lady Bashfull I think there was a Legion of them Reformer You speak as if they were a Legion of Angels Lady Bashfull Nay they proved a Legion of Divels to me Reformer There was one that seemed to be a fine Gentleman but he spake not a word Lady Bashfull They may be all what you will make them or describe them for I could make no distinction whether they were men or women or beasts nor heard no articulated sound only a humming noise Reformer They spake loud enough to have pierced your ears if strength of noise could have done it but the Gentleman that did not speak looked so earnestly at you as if he would have looked you thorough Lady Bashfull O that his eyes had that piercing faculty for then perchance he might have seen I am not so simple as my behaviour made me appear Ex. Scene 11. Enter Sir Peaceable Studious and the Lady Ignorance his Wife SIr Peaceable Studious I have lost 500. pounds since you went in with the Ladies Lady Ignorance 500. Pounds in so short a time Sir P. Studious 'T is well I lost no more But yet that 500. pounds would have bought you a new Coach or Bed or Silver Plate or Cabinets or Gowns or fine Flanders-laces and now it s gone and we have no pleasure nor credit for it but it is no matter I have health for it therefore I will call to my Stewards to bring me some more Lady Ignorance No do not so for after the rate you have lost you will lose all your Estate in short time Sir P. Studious Faith let it go 't is but begging or starving after it is gone for I have no trade to live by unless you have a way to get a living have you any Lady Ignorance No truly Husband I am a shiftless creature Sir P. Studious Yes but you may play the Whore and I the Shark so live by couzening and cheating Lady Ignorance Heaven defend Husband Sir P. Studious Or perchance some will be so charitable to give us suck'd bones from stinking breaths and rotten teeth or greasie scraps from fowl hands But go wife prithy bid my Steward send me 500. pounds more or let it alone I will run on the score and pay my losings at a lump Lady Ignorance No dear Husband play no more Sir P. Studious How not play any more say you shall I break good Company with sitting out Besides it is a question whether I have power to leave off now I have once begun for Play is Witch-craft it inchants temperance prudence patience reason and judgment and it kicks away time and bids him go as an old bald-pated fellow as he is also it chains the life with fears cares and griefs of losing to a pair of Cards and set of Dice Lady Ignorance For Heaven sake pitty me If you consider not your self Sir P. Studious Can you think a Husband considers his wife when he forgets or regards not himself when all love is self-love for a man would have his Wife to be loving and chaste for his honours sake to be thrifty for his profit sake to be patient for quiet sake to be cleanly witty and beautifull for his pleasure sake and being thus he loves her For if she be false unkind prodigal froward sluttish foolish and ill-favoured he hates her Lady Ignorant But if a Husband loves his wife he will be carefull to please her prudent for her subsistence industrious for her convenience valiant to protect her and conversable to entertain her and wise to direct and guide her Sir P. Studious To rule and govern her you mean wife Lady Ignorance Yes but a Husbands follies will be but corrupt Tutors and ill Examples for a wife to follow wherefore dear Husband play no more but come amongst the effeminate Societie you will finde more pleasure at less charges Sir P. Studious Well wife You
But if you should meet him perchance you will not know he was he Lady Orph. O yes for his extraordinary charity made me take particular notice of him Enter the Trades-man as returning back Lady Orph. Most charitable and Trades-man What boy wouldst thou have the other peny Lady Orph. Most Noble Sir I have received from a bountifull hand a summe of money and since you were so charitable to divide the half of your store to me so I desire I may do the like to you Trades-man No boy keep it for thy self and thy old Father I have a Trade and shall get more Lady Orph. Pray take it for luck-sake otherwise I shall never thrive Trades-man Faith I finde boy thou art not as most of the World are the more riches they get the more covetous they grow Lady Orph. Sir pray take this Trades-man What do you give me here a piece of Gold Lady Orph. Yes Sir Trades-man That were extortion to take a pound for a peny Lady Orph. No it is not extortion since I can better space this pound now than you could your peny when you gave it me wherefore it is but justice Trades-man Well I will keep it for thee and when you want it come to me again and you shall have it I live in the next street at the signe of the Holy-lamb Lady Orphant Pray make use of it for I may chance never to see you more Exeunt Scene 15. Enter Sir Studious and the Lady Ignorance his Wife SIr P. Studious Faith Wife with sipping of your Gossiping-cups I am half drunk Lady Ignorance Lord Husband There were some of the Ladies that drank twice as much as you did and were not drunk and to prove they were not drunk was that they talked as much before they drunk as after For there was such a confusion of words as they could not understand each other and they did no more when they had drunk a great quantity of Wine Sir P. Studious That was a signe they were drunk that they talked less but how chance that you drank so little Lady Ignorance Truly Wine is so nauseous to my taste and so hatefull to my nostrils as I was sick when the cup was brought to me Sir P. Studious I know not what it was to you but to me it was pleasant for your Ladies were so gamesome merry and kind as they have fired me with amorous love ever since Enter the Lady Ignoranc's maid Maid Madam the Lady Wagtail and other Ladies have sent to know if your Ladyship were within that they might come and wait upon you Sir Peaceable Studious chiks the maid under the Chin and kisses her Sir P. Studious Faith Nan thou art a pretty wench Lady Ignorance What Husband Do you kiss my maid before my face Sir P. Studious Why not Wife as well as one of your sociable Ladies in a frollick as you kiss me I kiss Nan Lady Ignorance So and when Nan kisses your Barber he must kiss me Sir P. Studious Right this is the kissing frollick and then comes the stricking frollick for you strike Nan Nan gently strikes me and I justly beat you and end the frollicks with a Enter the Lady Wagtail and other Ladies of the Societie with the Lady Amorous Lady Wagtail What a man and his Wife dully alone together Fie for shame Lady Amorous Lawfull love is the dullest and drouziest companion that is for Wives are never thought fair nor Husbands witty Sir P. Studious Your Ladyship is learned in loves Societies Lady Amorous Yes that I am for I have observed that if there be a match'd company every man having a woman their conversation is dull every mans tongue whispering in his Mistriss eare whilst the women are mute listening to that which is whispered unto them but let there be but one man amongst a company of women and then their tongues runs races striving with each other which shall catch that one man as the only prize when the weaker wits runs themselves straite out of breath Sir P. Studious And must not one man run against them all Lady Amorous O yes and many times his wit beats them all Sir P. Studious Faith Lady They must not be such strong winded wits as yours is which is able to beat a dozen Masculine wits out of the field Lady Amorous You are pleased to give me a complement The Lady Ignorance seems melancholly Lady Wagtaile The merry God have mercy on you What makes you so melancholly Lady Ignorance I am not well to day Lady Wagtail If you are troubled with melancholly vapours arising from crude humours you must take as soon as you wake after your first sleep a draught of Wormwood-wine then lye to sleep again and then half an hour before you rise drink a draught of Jelly-broth and after you have been up an hour and half eate a White-wine-caudle then a little before a dinner take a Toste and Sack and at your meals two or three good glasses of Clarret-wine as for your Meats you must eate those of light digestion as Pheasant Partridges Cocks Snipes Chickens young Turkies Pea-chickens and the like And in the After-noon about four or five a clock you must take Naples-bisket dip'd in Ippocrass which helps digestion much and revives the spirits and makes one full of discourse and not only to discourse but to discourse wittily and makes one such good company as invites acquaintance and ties friendship The whilst the Lady Wagtail talks to the Lady Ignorance the eyes her Husband who seems to court the Lady Amorous Lady Amorous Faith I will tell your Wife what you say Lady Wagtail That is fowl play and not done like one of the Society especially when my Lady is not well Lady Amorous What Is she sick I lay my life she hath eate too much Branne Sturgeon or Sammon without muskadine or Sack or Neats-tongues Bakon and Anchoves Caveare or Lobsters without Rhenish-wines or Oysters or Sausages without Clarret-wine or hath she eaten Potatoe-pies without dates Ringo-roots Marrow and Chestnuts have you not i saith confess Lady Ignorance No indeed Lady Amorous Why I hope you have not taken a surfeit of White-meats those childish meats or with Water-grewel Ponado Barley-grevvel those Hodge-podgely meats Lady Ignorance Neither Lady Amorous Why then you have over-heated your self with dancing or fretting and vexing your self at your ill fortune at Cards or your Tayler hath spoiled some Gown or your Coach-man was out of the way when you would go abroad is it not so Lady Ignorance No Lady Amorous Why Then your Husband hath crost some design or hath angered you some other way The Lady Ignorance blushes They all laugh and speak at one time She blushes She blushes Lady Wagtail Faith Amorous thou hast found it out Sir Peaceable Studious you are to be chidden to anger your Wife wherefore tell us how you did anger her when you did anger her and for what you did anger her Sir P. Studious Dear sweet fine fair Ladies
plead without speech let me beg your favour to accept of me for your servant and what I want in Language my industrious observance and diligent service shall supply I am a Gentleman my breeding hath been according to my birth and my Estate is sufficient to maintain me according to both As for your Estate I consider it not for were you so poor of fortunes goods as you had nothing to maintain you but what your merit might challenge out of every purse yet if you were mine I should esteem you richer than the whole World and I should love you as Saints love Heaven and adore you equal to a Dietie for I saw so much sweetness of nature nobleness of soul purity of thoughts and innocency of life thorough your Bashfull countenance as my soul is wedded thereunto and my mind so restless therefore that unless I may have hopes to injoy you for my Wife I shall dye Your distracted Servant SERIOUS DUMB Lady Bashfull Now Reformer what say you to this Letter Reformer I say it is a good honest hearty affectionate Letter and upon my life it is the Gentleman I commended so he that looked so seriously on you and your Ladyship may remember I said he viewed you as if he would have looked you thorough and you made answer that you wished he could that he might see you were not so simple as your behaviour made you appear and now your wish is absolved Lady Bashfull VVhat counsel will you give me in this cause Reformer VVhy write him a civil answer Lady Bashfull VVhy should I hold corespondence with any man either by Letter or any other way since I do not intend to marry Reformer Not marry Lady Bashfull No not marry Reformer VVhy so Lady Bashfull Because I am now Mistriss of my self and fortunes and have a free liberty and who that is free if they be wise will make themselves slaves subjecting themselves to anothers humour unless they were fools or mad and knew not how to chose the best and happiest life Reformer You will change this opinion and marry I dare swear Lady Bashfull Indeed I will not swear but I think I shall not for I love an easie peaceable and solitary life which none injoys but single persons for in marriage the life is disturbed with noise and company troublesome imployments vex'd with crosses and restless with cares Besides I could not indure to have Parteners to share of him whom my affections had set a price upon or my merit or beauty or wealth or vertue had bought Reformer So I perceive you would be jealouse if you were married Lady Bashfull Perchance I might have reason but to prevent all inconveniences and discontents I will live a single life Reformer Do what likes you best for I dare not perswade you any way for fear my advice should not prove to the best Exeunt Scene 18. Enter Affectionata and Foster Trusty FOster Trusty Now you are placed according to your desire what wil you command me to do Affectionata Dear Foster Father although I am loth to part from you yet by reason I shall suffer in my estate I must intreat you to return home for my Nurse your wife hath not skill to manage that fortune my Father left me for she knows not how to let Leases to set Lands to receive Rents to repair Ruines to disburst Charges and to order those affairs as they should be ordered which your knowledge industry and wisdom will dispose and order for my advantage Foster Trusty But how if you be discovered Affectionata Why if I should as I hope I shall not yet the Lord Singularity is so noble a person as he will neither use me uncivily not cruelly Foster Trusty All that I fear is if you should be discovered he should use you too civilly Affectionata That were to use me rudely which I am confident he will not do and I am confident that you do believe I will receive no more civillity if you call it so than what honour will allow and approve of Foster Trusty But jealousie will creep into the most confident breasts sometimes yet I dare trust you though I fear him Affectionata I hope there is no cause to fear him or doubt me wherefore dear Father let us go and settle our affairs here that you may return home to order those there Scene 19. Enter Sir Peaceable Studious and the Lady Ignorance his Wife She being undrest her mantle about her as being not well SIr P. Studious In truth wife it is a great misfortune you should be sick this Term-time when the Society is so much increast as it is become a little Common-wealth Lady Ignorance If there be so many they may the better spare me Sir P. Studious 'T is true they can spare your company but how can you want their companies Lady Ignorance You shall be my Intelligencer of their pastimes Sir P. Studious That I will wife but it will be but a dull recreation only to hear a bare relation Lady Ignorance As long as you partake of their present pleasures and pleasant actions what need you take care for me Sir P. Studious Yes but I must in Justice for since you have cured me of a studious Lethargie I ought to do my indeavour to divert your melancholly and there is no such remedy as the Society wherefore dear wife fling off this melancholly sickness or sick melancholly and go amongst them for surely your sickness is in your mind not in your body She cries Sir P. Studious What do you cry Wife who hath angered you Lady Ignorance Why you Sir P. Studious Who I anger'd you I why I would not anger a woman no not my Wife for the whole World If I could possible avoid it which I fear cannot be avoided for if I should please out of your Sex I should be sure to displease another But that is my comfort it is not my fault but dear Wife how have I offended you Lady Ignorance Why did you kiss my maid before my face Sir P. Studious Why did you perswade me Lady Ignorance Did I perswade you to kiss my maid Sir P. Studious No but you did perswade me to be one of the Society and there is kissing and I thought it was as well to kiss your maid before your face as a sociable Lady before your face Lady Ignorance And why do you make love to the Ladies since I suffer none to make love to me Sir P. Studious No for if you did I would fling you to death to be imbraced in his cold arms Besides those actions that are allowable and seemly as manly in men are condemned in women as immodest and unbecoming and dishonourable but talking to you I shall miss of the pleasant sports and therefore if you will go come the Coach is ready Lady Ignorance No I will not go with you Sir P. Studious Then I will go without you Lady Ignorance No pray Husband go no more thither Sir P.
again All speak at one time who is kill'd who is kill'd Sir Humphry Bold presses towards Sir Serious Dumb. Lady Bashfull Good Ladies hold Sir Humphry Bold and I will try to perswade Sir Serious Dumb They hold Sir Humphry Bold Lady Wagtail What you shall not stir I am sure you will not oppose us women Lady Bashfull Noble Sir to give me an assurance you will not fight give me your sword Sir Serious Dumb kisses the hilt of his sword then gives it her Sir Humphry Bold gets lose from the Ladies and goeth to assault Sir Serious Dumb He being an armed the Lady Bashfull seeing him steps betwixt them and with Sir Serious Dumb's sword strikes at Sir Humphry Bold and strikes his sword out of his hand Lady Bashfull What are you not ashamed to assault an unarmed man Sir Humphry Bold runs to take up his sword she also runs and sets her foot upon it Lady Bashfull Let the sword alone for it is my prize and by Heaven if you touch it I will run you thorough with this sword in my hand Sir Humphry Bold runs and catcheth Sir Timothy Compliments sword and offers to make a thrust at Sir Serious Dumb who puts the sword by and beats it down with one hand and with the other strikes it aside then closes with him and being skillfull at Wrestling trips up his heels then gets upon him and having both his hands at liberty wrings out Sir Humphry Bold's sword out of his hand then ariseth and gives the sword to the right owner who all the time trembled for fear and never durst strive to part them Sir Humphry Bold Hell take me but I will be revenged Lady I hope you will give me my sword again Lady Bashfull Never to fight against a woman but my victorious spoils I will deliver to this gallant Gentleman who delivered up his life and honour into my hand when he gave me his sword and I indangered the loss of both by taking it for which my gratitude hath nothing to return him but my self and fortunes if he please to accept of that and me Sir Serious Dumb bows with a respect and kisses her hand Lady Bashfull Sir I wish my person were more beautifull than it is for your sake and my fortune greater with more certainty of continuance as neither being subject to time or accident but this certainly I will promise you which is my chaste and honest life Now Sir pray take these two swords this was yours fear gave me confidence this I won love gave me courage Sir Serious Dumb leads out his Mistriss Exit Sir Humphry Bold I will be revenged Omnes Exeunt ACT II. Scene 9. Enter the Lord General and Affectionata LOrd Singul. Affectionata I hear thou hast bought Arms I am sure thou canst not fight Affectionata I am sure I will do my indeavour my Lord Lord Singularity Why the very weight of thy Arms will sink thee down Affectionata O no my Lord my desire shall beat them up Lord Singul. Alas thou hast no strength to fight Affectionata What strength my active body wants my vigorous spirits shall make good Lord Singul. Prethee my boy do not adventure thy self but stay in my Tent Affectionata That would be a shame for me and a dishonour to you since you have adopted me your son wherefore the World shall never say you have bestowed your favour and your love upon a coward Lord Singularity I well perceive I have adopted a very willfull boy Affectionata Indeed my Lord I have no will but what doth follow you The General strokes Affectionata on the cheek Exeunt Scene 10. Enter Sir Serious Dumb and his Mistriss the Lady Bashfull SIr Serious Dumb. The time I vowed to silence is expir'd and though my thoughts not gloriously attired with Eloquence for Rhetorick I have none yet civil words sit for to wait upon a modest Lady and to entertain an honest mind with words of truth though plain For 't is not Rhetorick makes a happy life but sweet society that 's void of strife Lady Bashfull Sir Rhetorick is rather for sound than sense for words than reason Sir Serious Dumb. Yet my sweet Mistriss I wish my voice were tuned to your eare and every word set as a pleasing note to make such musick as might delight your mind Lady Bashfull Your words slow thorough my ears as smooth clear pure water from the spring of Hellicon which doth not only refresh but inrich my dull insipid brain Scene 11. Enter a Captain and his Corporal COrporal The Turks never received such a blow as they have this time Captain A pox of them they have made us sweat Corporal Why Captain sweating will cure the Pox and though you curse the Turks yet it is we that live in Italy that is diseased with them Captain The truth is we lost more health in the Venetian service than we gain wealth Corporal Nay faith Captain we do not only lose our health but wast our wealth for what booties we get from the Turks the Courtezans gets from us Captain For that cause now I have gotten a good bootie I will return into mine own Country and buy a Corporal A what Captain Captain An Office in civil Government Corporal But you will never be civil in your Office Captain That needs not to be for though all Magisterial Offices bears a civil Authority yet the Officers and Magistrates therein are more cruel and ravenons than common souldiers Corporal Verily Captain I think common Souldiers are more mercifull and just than they Captain Verely Corporal I think you will become a Puritan Preacher Corporal Why should you think so Captain Captain First because you have got the Pox and that will make you Preach in their tone which is to speak thorough the nose the next is you have left the ranting Oaths that Souldier's use to swear and use their phrases as verily my beloved brethren which brethrens souls they care not for nor thinks thereof for though they speak to the brethren they Preach to the sisters which edifies wonderfully by their Doctrine and they gain and receive as wonderfull from their female Hocks for those Puritan Preachers have more Tithes out of the Marriage-bed than from the Parish-stock Corporal If it be so beneficial Captain I had rather be a Puritan Preacher than an Atheistical States-man Captain Faith Corporal I think there is not much Religion in either but if there be it lies in the States-man for he keeps Peace the other makes War Corporal If they make wars they are our friends for we live by the spoils of our enemies Captain 'T is true when as we get a victory or else our enemies lives on the spoil of us for though we have no goods to lose yet we venture our lives neither do we live on the spoil of our enemies but only in forreign wars for in civil wars we live by the spoil of our Friends and the ruining of our Country Corporal Then
my friend to speak to the General in my behalf that I may remain in my place for I am to be cashierd Affectionata For what 1. Captain For a small fault Sir for when the battel was begun I had such a cholick took me in the stomach as I was forced to go aside and untruss a point Affectionata It had been more for your honour Captain to had let nature discharge it self in your breeches And what are you cashiered Captain 2. Captain Marry for my good service for when the battel begun my Souldiers run away and I run after to call them back they run and I rid so long as we were gotten ten miles from the Armie but I could not get them untill such time as the battel was won Affectionata It had been more honour for you to have fought single alone without your Souldiers than to have followed your Souldiers although to make them stay and you would have done more service with your standing still than your running and what are you to be cashiered 3. Captain Why Sir my company wanted Powder and I went to fetch or give order for some to be brought and before I returned to my Company the battel was won Affectionata It had been more for your honour and good service to have stayed and incouraged your Souldiers by your example with fighting with your sword for the sword makes a greater execution than the shot but since they were not wilfull nor malicious faults I shall do you what service I can for fear sometimes may seize the valiantest man And what were your faults Colonel 1. Colonel Mine was for betraying a Fort Affectionata O base He that betrays a Fort ventures to betray a Kingdom which is millions of degrees worse than to betray a life or a particular friend for those that betrays a Kingdom betrays numbers of lifes and those that betrays their native Country betrays that which gave them nourishing strength and you have had great mercy in giving you your life although you lose your place And what was your fault Commander Mine was for neglecting the Watch Affectionata That is as bad as to give leave for the enemie to surprize only the one betrays through carelesness the other through covetousness And what was your fault Colonel Colonel Mine was for disobeying the Generals Orders Affectionata Let me tell you Colonel he that will not obey is not fit to command and those that commits careless stubborn malicious and wicked crimes I will never deliver their Petition nor speak in their behalf Commanders Exeunt Enter a poor Souldier Souldier Good your Honour save me from punishment Affectionata What are you to be punished for Souldier I am to be punished because I said my Captain was a coward Affectionata What reason had you to say so Souldier The reason was because he sung and whistled when he went to fight Affectionata That might be to shew his courage Souldier O no it was to hide his fear Affectionata But you ought not to have called your Captain coward had he been so for the faults of Superiours are to be winked at and obscured and not to be divulged Besides yours was but a supposition unless he ran away Souldier No Sir he fought Affectionata Then you were too blame for judging so Souldier I confess it Sir wherefore pray speak for me Affectionata Indeed I cannot for to call a man coward is to kill at least to wound his reputation which is far worse that if you had kill'd the life of his body by how much honour is to be preferred before life but if you can make your peace with your Captain by asking his pardon I will then speak to the General that the sentence for your punishment may be taken off wherefore let me advise you to go to your Captain and in the most humblest and sorrowfulst manner ask forgiveness of him Souldier I shall and it please your Honour Exeunt Scene 14. Enter Sir Peaceable Studious solus Sir Peaceable Studious HOw happy is a private life to me Wherein my thoughts ran easily and free And not disturb'd with vanities and ioyes On which the senses gazes as young boys On watery bubbles in the aire blown Which when they break doth vanish and are gone Enter the Lady Ignorance Lady Ignorance I doubt I disturb your Poetry Sir P. Studious No wife you rather give life and fire to my muse being chaste fair and vertuous which are the chief theams for Poets fancies to work on Lady Ignorance But that wife that is despised by her Husband and not loved is dejected in her own thoughts and her mind is so disquietted as it masks her beauty and vails and obscures her vertues Sir P. Studious The truth is wife that if my affections to you had not been firmly setled your indiscretion and effeminate follies had ruined it but my love is so true as you have no cause to be jealouse but I confess you made me sad to think that your humour could not sympathize with mine as to walk in the same course of life as I did but you were ignorant and would not believe me untill you had found experience by practice by which practice you have found my words to be true do you not Lady Ignorance Yes so true as I shall never doubt them more But pray Husband tell me what discourse you had with the Ladies when you went abroad with them Sir P. Studious Why they railed against good Husbands called them Uxorious Fools Clowns Blocks Stocks and that they were only fit to be made Cuckolds through their confident fondness and that kind Husbands appeared like simple Asses I answered that those Husbands that were Cuckolds appeared not only like silly Asses but base Cowards that would suffer their wives to be courted and themselves dishonoured when they ought to destroy their wives Gallants if visibly known and to part from their wives at least to mancor them and not only for being falfe but for the suspition caused by their indiscretions otherwise said I a kind Husband shews himself a Gallant Noble Generous Just Wise man and contrary he is a base man that will strive to disgrace himself by disgracing his wife with neglects and disrespects and a coward to tyranize only over the weak tender and helpless Sex for women being tender shiftless and timorous creatures by nature is the cause they joyn themselves by chaste Wedlock to us men for their safety protection honour and livelyhood and when a man takes a woman to his wife he is an unworthy and treacherous person if he betrays her to scorns or yields her to scoffs or leaves her to poverty and he is a base man that makes his wife sigh and weep with unkindness either by words or actions wherefore said I it is wisdom for men to respect their wives with a civil behaviour and sober regard and it is heroick to defend protect and guard their lives and vertues to be constant to their vows promises and
protestations and it is generous to cherish their health to attend them in their sickness to comply with their harmless humours to entertain their discourses to accompany their persons to yield to their lawfull desires and to commend their good graces and that man which is a Husband and doth not do thus is worthy to be shamed and not to be kept company with which is not called an Uxorious Husband for said I an Uxorious Husband I understand to be a honest carefull and wise Husband Lady Ignorance And what said they after you said this Sir P. Studious They laugh'd and said my flowery Rhetorick was strewed upon a dirty ground I answered it was not dirty where I lived for my wife was beautifull chaste and cleanly and I wished every man the like and after they perceived that neither the railing nor laughing at good Husbands could not temper me for their palats they began to play and sport with one another and sung wanton songs and when all their baits failed they quarreled with me and said I was uncivil and that I did not entertain them well and that I was not good Company having not a conversable wit nor a gentle behaviour and that I was not a gallant Cavalier and a world of those reproches and idle discourses as it would tire me to repeat it and you to hear it Lady Ignorance Pray resolve me one question more what was it you said to the Lady Amorous when she threatned to tell me Sir P. Studious I only said nature was unkind to our Sex in making the beautifull females cruel Lady Ignorance Was that all I thought you had pleaded as a courtly Sutor for loves favours Sir P. Studious No indeed but let me tell you and so inform you wife that those humour'd women take as great a pleasure to make wives jealouse of their Husbands and Husbands jealouse of their wives and to seperate their affections and to make a disorder in their Families as to plot and design to intice men to court them Cuckold their Husband also let me tell you that much company and continual resort brings great inconveniences for its apt to corrupt the mind and make the thoughts wild the behaviour bold the words vain the discourse either flattering rude or tedious their actions extravagant their persons cheap being commonly occompanyed or their company common Besides much variety of Company creates amorous luxurie vanity prodigality jealousie envie malice slander envie treachery quarrels revenge and many other evils as laying plots to insnare the Honourable to accuse the Innocent to deceive the Honest to corrupt the Chaste to deboyst the Temperate to pick the purse of the Rich to inslave the poor to pull down lawfull Authority and to break just Laws but when a man lives to himself within his own Familie and without recourse after a solitary manner he lives free without controul not troubled with company but entertains himself with himself which makes the soul wise the mind sober the thoughts industrious the understanding learned the heart honest the senses quiet the appetites temperate the body healthfull the actions just and prudent the behaviour civil and sober He governs orderly eats peaceably sleeps quietly lives contentedly and most commonly plentifully and pleasantly ruling and governing his little Family to his own humour wherein he commands with love and is obeyed with duty and who that is wise and is not mad would quit this heavenly life to live in hellish Societies and what can an honest Husband and wife desire more than love peace and plenty and when they have this and is not content 't is a sign they stand upon a Quagmire or rotten Foundation that will never hold or indure that is they are neither grounded on honesty nor supported with honour Lady Ignorance Well Husband I will not interupt your studies any longer but as you study Phylosophie Wisdom and Invention so I will study obedience discretion and Houswifery Omnes Exeunt ACT III Scene 15. Enter the General and Affectionata LOrd Singularity Affectionata Were you never bred to the Discipline of War Affectionata Never my Lord but what I have been since I came to you Lord Singularity Why thou didst speak at the Council of War as if thou hadst been an old experienced souldier having had the practice of fourty years which did so astonish the grave Senators and old Souldiers that they grew dumb and for a while did only gaze on thee Affectionata Indeed my Lord my young years and your grave Counsel did not suit together Lord Singularity But let me tell thee my boy thy rational and wise speeches and that grave counsels was not mis-match'd Affectionata Pray Heaven I may prove so as your favours and your love may not be thought misplaced Lord Singularity My Love thinks thee worthy of more than I can give thee had I more power than Caesar had Exeunt Scene 16. Enter some Commanders 1. COmmander I hear that the Duke of Venice is so taken with our Generals adopted Son as he will adopt him his Son 2. Commander Hay-day I have heard that a Father hath had many Sons but never that one Son hath had so many Fathers but contrary many Sons wants fathering 3. Commander 'T is true some Sons hath the misfortune not to be owned but let me tell you Lieutenant there be few children that hath not many such Fathers as one begets a childe a second owns the childe a third keeps the childe which inherits as the right Heir and if a fourth will adopt the childe a fift or more may do the like if they please 1. Commander So amongst all his Fathers the right Father is lost 3. Commander Faith the right Father of any childe is seldome known by reason that women takes as much delight in deceiving the World and dissembling with particular men as in the cuckolding their Husbands 2. Commander The truth is every several Lover cuckolds one another 1. Commander Perchance that is the reason that women strives to have so many Lovers for women takes pleasure to make Cuckolds 3. Commander And Cuckolds to own children Exeunt Scene 17. Enter Affectionata then enters to him two or three Venetian Gentlemen as Embassadors from the Duke of Venice 1. GEntleman Noble Sir the great Duke of Venice hath sent us to let you know he hath adopted you his Son and desires your company Affectionata Pray return the great Duke thanks and tell him those favours are too great for such a one as I but if he could and would adopt me as Augustus Caesar did Tiberius and make me master of the whole World by Heaven I would refuse it and rather chose to live in a poor Cottage with my most Noble Lord 2. Gentleman But you must not deny him Besides he will have you Affectionata I will dye first and rather chose to bury my self in my own tears than build a Throne with ingratitude 1. Gentleman But it is ungratefull to deny the Duke
Affectionata O no but I should be the ingrate of ingratitude should I leave my Noble Lord who from a low despised poor mean degree advanced me to Respect and Dignity Whose favours I will keep close in my heart And from his person I will never part For though I dye my soul will still attend And wait upon him as his faithfull friend He offers to go away in a melancholly posture and humour so as not considering the Gentlemen Whereupon one of them follows him and catches hold of his Cloak 2. Gentleman Noble Sir will not you send the Duke an answer Affectionata Have not I answered Then pray present my thanks in the most humblest manner to the great Duke and tell him he may force the presence of my person but if he doth it will be but as a dead carcase without a living soul for tell him when I am from my Lord I withering vade as flowers from Sun sight His presence is to me as Heavens light Affectionata Exit 1 Gentleman 'T is strange that such an honour cannot perswade a boy 2. Gentleman That proves him a boy for if he had been at mans estate he would not have refused it but have been ambitious of it and proud to receive it 1. Gentl. Indeed youth is foolish and knows not how to chose 2. Gentl. When he comes to be a man he will repent the folly of his youth Exeunt Scene 18. Enter the Lady Bashfull and Lady VVagtail not knowing Sir Serious could speak LAdy Wagtail Pray Madam let me perswade you not to cast your self away to marry a dumb man for by my troth all those that are dumb are meer fools for who can be witty or wise that cannot speak or will not speak which is as bad Lady Bashfull Why Madam wisdom nor wit doth noth not live not lye in words for prudence fortitude and temperance expresses wisdom and capacity ingenuity and fancie expresseth wit and not words Lady Wagtail But let me advise you to chose Sir Humphry Bold he is worth a thousand of Sir Serious Dumb besides he is a more learned man by half and speaks several Languages Lady Bashfull Perchance so and yet not so wise for Parrots will learn Languages and yet not know how to be wise nor what wisdom is which is to have a found judgement a clear understanding and a prudent forecast Lady Wagtail Faith all the World will condemn you to have no forecast if you marry Sir Serious Dumb Lady Bashfull Let them speak their worst I care not as not fearing their censures Lady Wagtail You were fearfull and bashfull Lady Bashfull 'T is true but now am grown so confident with honest love I care not if all the World did know of it nay I wish it were published to all ears The Lady Bashfull offers to go away Lady Wagtail Nay you must not go until you have granted my suit in the behalf of Sir Humphry Bold Lady Bashfull Pray let me go for I hate him more than Heaven hates Hell Lady Wagtail Nay then I will leave you Exeunt Scene 19. Enter Affectionata who weeps Enter the Lord Singularity LOrd Singularity Why weepest thou Affectionata Affectionata Alas my Lord I am in such a passion as I shall dye unless it flows forth thorough mine eyes and runs from off my tongue For like as vapours from the Earth doth rise And gather into clouds beneath the skies Contracts to water swelling like moist veins When over-fill'd falls down in showering rains So thoughts which from a grieved mind are sent Ariseth in a vaporous discontent Contracts to melancholly which heavy lies Untill it melts and runs forth through the eyes Unless the Sun of comfort dry doth drink Those watery tears that lyes at the eyes brink Or that the rayes of joy which streams bright out With active heat disperseth them about Lord Singularity Faith Affectionata I am no good Poet but thy passion moves so sweetly in numbers and stops so just with rhymes as I cannot but answer thee Like as the Sun beauty streams rayes about A smiling countenance like day breaks out And though a frown obscures sweet beauties sight Yet beauties beams makes cloudy frowns more bright But melancholly beauty doth appear As pleasing shades or Summers evenings clear So doth thine Affectionata but prethee do not wast thy breath into sighs nor distill thy life into tears Affectionata I wish I might here breath my last and close my eyes for ever Lord Singularity I perceive Affectionata you take it unkindly I did perswade you to take the Dukes offer But if you think I did it out of any other design than a true affection to you By Heaven you do me wrong by false interpretation Affectionata If you my Lord did love but half so well as I you would rather chose to dye than part with me Lord Singularity I love thee beyond my own interest or delight for what is best for thee I account as the greatest blessing should it bring me any other wayes a curse Affectionata Then let me still live with you for that is best for me Lord Singularity Here I do vow to Heaven to do my indeavour with my life to keep thee with me or to be alwayes where thou art Affectionata O! what a weight you have taken from my soul wherein my thoughts like wet-winged-birds sate heavy my senses like as blinking Lamps which vaporous damps of grief had neer put out Lord Singularity Let me tell thee Affectionata I have travelled far observed much and have had divers incounters but I never met such vertue found such truth nor incountered such an affection as thine imbraces him And thus I do imbrace thee and do wish our souls may twine As our each bodyes thus together joyn Exeunt Scene 20. Enter Sir Serious Dumb and his Mistriss the Lady Bashfull SIr Serious Dumb. Dear Mistriss do not you repent your favours and wish your promise were never made doth not your affection vade Lady Bashfull No it cannot for never was any love placed upon a Nobler soul than my love is which is on yours insomuch as I do glory in my affection and grow self-conceited of its judgement Sir Serious Dumb. And will you be constant Lady Bashfull Let not your humble thoughts raise a doubt of jealousie for I am fixt as time is to eternity Sir Serious Dumb. Then I thank nature for your Creation honour for your Breeding and heaven for your Vertue and fortune that hath given you to me for I can own nothing of that worth that could deserve you Lady Bashfull I cannot condemn jealousie because it proceeds from pure love and love melts into kinds on a constant heart but flames like Oyle on a false one which sets the whole life on fire Sir Serious Dumb. But now I cannot doubt your love nor constancies since you have promised your heart to me for true Lovers are like the light and the Sun inseparable Exeunt Scene 21. Enter some Commanders 1. COmmander
Come fellow-souldiers are you ready to march 2. Commander Whether 1. Commander Into our own native Country for our General is sent sol home 3. Commander Except there be wars in our own Country we cannot go with him 1. Commander I know not whether there be wars or peace but he obeys for he is preparing for his journey 2. Commander Who shall be General when he is gone 3. Commander I know not but I hear the States offers to make our young Lieutenant-General General but he refuseth it 2. Commander Would they would make me General 3. Commander If thou wert General thou wouldst put all method out of order 1. Commander Faith Gentlemen I would lead you most prudently and give you leave to plunder most unanimously 1. Commander And we would fight couragiously to keep what we plunder 2. Commander Come let us go and inquire how our affairs goeth Exeunt Scene 22. Enter the Lord Singularity and Affectionata LOrd Singularity Now Affectionata we have taken our leave of the States I hope thy mind is at peace and freed from fears of being staid Affectionata Yes my my Lord Lord Singularity They did perswade thee much to stay Affectionata They seemed much troubled for your Lordships departure Lord Singularity Truly I will say thus much for my self that I have done them good service and I must say thus much for them that they have rewarded me well Affectionata I have heard my Lord that States seldom rewards a service done wherefore I believe they hope you will return again and sees you for that end Lord Singularity I shall not be unwilling when my Country hath no imployment for me Affectionata Methinks my Lord since you have gotten a fame abroad you should desire to live a setled life at home Lord Singularity A setled life would seem but dull to me that hath no wife nor children Affectionata You may have both If you please my Lord Lord Singularity For children I desire none since I have thee and wives I care not for but what are other mens Enter a Messenger with a Letter to the Lord Singularity Lord Singularity From whence comest thou friend Messenger From Rome my Lord Lord Singularity If you please to stay in the next room I shall speak to you presently Messenger Exit The Lord Singularity breaks up the Letter and reads Lord Singularity Affectionata From whence do you think this Letter comes Affectionata I cannot guess my Lord Lord Singularity From the Pope who hath heard so much of thy youth vertue wit and courage as he desires me to pass thorough Rome im my journey home that he might see thee Affectionata Pray Heaven his Holynesse doth not put me into a Monastery and force me to stay behind you Lord Singularity If he should I will take the habit and be incloistered with thee but he will not inforce a youth that hath no will thereto Affectionata Truly my Lord I have no will to be a Fryer Lord Singularity Indeed it is somewhat too lazie a life which all heroick Spirits shames for those loves liberty and action But I will go and dispatch this Messenger and to morrow we will begin our journey Exeunt Scene 23. Enter the Lady Wagtail and the Lady Amorous LAdy Wagtail Faith Amorous it had been a victory indeed worth the bragging off if we could have taken Sir Peaceable Studious Loves prisoner and could have infettered him in Cupid's bonds Lady Amorous It had been a victory indeed for I will undertake to inslave five Courtiers and ten Souldiers sooner and in less time than one studious Scholar Lady Wagtail But some Scholars are more easily taken than the luxurious Courtiers or deboist Souldiers Lady Amorous O no! for Luxurie and Rapine begets lively Spirits but a study quenches them out Lady Wagtail One would think so by Sir Peaceable Studious but not by some other Scholars that I am acquainted with Lady Amorous But confess Lady Wagtail do not you find a studious Scholar dull company in respect of a vain Courtier and a rough Souldier Lady Wagtail I must confess they that study Philosophy are little too much inclined to morality but those that study Theologie are not so restringent Lady Amorous Well for my part since I have been acquainted with Sir Peaceable Studious I hate all Scholars Exeunt Scene 24. Enter three Men as the Inhabitants of Rome 1. T Is a wonder such a youth as the Lord Singularity's Son is should have so great a wit as to be able to dispute with so many Cardinals 2. Man The greater wonder is that he should have the better of them 1. Man 'T is said the Pope doth admire him and is extreamly taken with him 2. Man If Iove had so much admired him he would have made him his Ganimed 1. Man He offered to make him a living Saint but he thanked his Holyness and said he might Saint him but not make him holy enough to be a Saint for said he I am unfit to have Prayers offered to me that cannot offer Prayers as I ought or live as I should then he offered him a Cardinals hat but he refused it saying he was neither wise enough nor old enough for to accept of it for said he I want Ulisses head and Nestors years to be a Cardinal for though less devotion will serve a Cardinal than a Saint yet politick wisdom is required 3. Man Pray Neighbours tell me which way and by what means I may see this wonderfull youth for I have been out of the Town and not heard of him 2. Man You cannot see him now unless you will follow him where he is gone 1. Man Why whether is he gone 2. Man Into his own Country and hath been gone above this week 3. Man Nay I cannot follow him thither Exeunt Scene 25. Enter the Lord Singularity and Affectionata as being in the Country Lord Singularity Affectionata you have promised me to be ruled by me in every thing so that you may not part from me Affectionata I have my Lord and will obey all your commands so far as I am able Lord Singularity Then I am resolved now I am returned into my own Country to get thee a wife that thy fame and worthy acts may live in thy Posterity Affectionata Iove bless me a wife by Heaven my Lord I am not man enough to marry Lord Singul. There is many as young as you that have been Fathers and have had children Affectionata If they were such as I am they might father Children but never get them Lord Singularity Thou art modest Affectionata but I will have you marry and I will chose thee such a wife as modest as thy self Affectionata Then we never shall have children Sir Lord Singul. Love and acquaintance will give you confidence but tell me truly Affectionata didst thou never court a Mistriss Affectionata No truly Sir Lord Singularity Well I will have you practice Courtship and though I will not directly be your Band or Pimp yet I
may do me harm creating vain and false opinions in my imaginations of self-conceit of being wiser or wittier than really I am which opinions may make me commit errors and I had rather the VVorld should laugh at me for want of wit than scorn me for my follies Discretion But if witty discourses will get you an esteem what will your wise actions and vertuous life and prayse is the reward to all noble endeavours beside prayse is no burthen but it often serves as a ballance to make the life swim steady in Sea-faring VVorld But yet Lady I would not have your wit out-run your prayse which it will do if you spur it too hard for wit must be used like a strong spirited horse it must be restraind with a bridle not prick'd with the spur least it should run away and fling the Rider which is the Speaker into a ditch of disgrace neither must it run wildly about but must be wrought to obey the hand and the heel which is time and occasion to stop and to change as when to speak and to whom to speak and on what to speak and when to make a stop of silence otherwise it will run out of the smooth paths of civility or the clean wayes of modesty Besides wit must not only be taught to amble in rhime and to trot in prose but to have a sure footing of sense and a setled head of reason least it should stumble in disputes or fall into impertinent discourses likewise wit may be taught to go in aires of fancies or low upon the ground of proof Volante But Sir you must consider that women are no good managers of wit for they spoyl all their tongue rides on hackneys it out untill it becomes a dull jade Discretion Least I should give an ill example of tyreing in our allegorical discourse I shall kiss your hands and take my leave for this time Ex. Madamosel alone She fetches a great sigh Volante Monsieur Discretion is a handsom man he hath a wise countenance and a manly garo his discourse is rational and witty sober and difercet But good Lord how foolishly I talk to him I never spake duller nor so senselesly since I was taught words and he came purposely as he told me to hear me speak and prove my wit But it was a sign he heard none for he grew soon a weary of my company he staid so short a time I am troubled often with prating fools whose visits are as tedious as their discourses But Lord why do I condemn others as fools when this Gentleman Monsieur Discretion hath proved me one Ex. ACT III Scene 18. Enter Madamosel Caprisia and Monsieur Importunate IMportunate What musing by your self alone May I question your oughts Capris. If you do you will not be resolved for there is none at home to give you an answer Importunate Why where are they wandring abroad Capris. They like a brood of Birds are flown out of their Neasts for thoughts flies with swifter speed than time can do having large wings of quick desire Importunate Faith you are a great wit Capris. You are a great trouble She offers to go forth He stayes her She is angry Capris. What you will not force me to stay against my will Importunate Yes that I will For your Father saith you shall be my Wife and then you will imbrace and kiss me as coy as you are now Capris. Which if I do I wish my arms when they do wind about your waste may sting as Serpents and that my kisses may prove poyson to your lips Importunate What are you seriously angry Nay then 't is time to leave you Ex. The Lady alone Capris. I have heard that gallant men are civil to our Sex but I have met with none but rough rude rugged natures more cruel than wild Tygars Enter Monsieur Bon Compaignon Bon Compaignon Why do you complain of our Sex Lady what is it you would have Capris. I would have a gray-headed wisdom a middle-aged humour a fresh mouthed wit a new bloom'd youth and a beauty that every one fancies Bon Compaignon Why so you have Capris. Then I have what I desire She goes out Bon Compaignon O! She hath a sharp wit it is vitral wit Ex. Scene 19. Enter Madamosel Solid and Monsieur Comorade COmorade Lady you have kill'd a Gentleman Solid Who I why I never had the courage to kill a fly Comorade You have kill'd him with your disdain Solid I am sorry he had so weak a life as so slight a cause as a womans disdain could destroy it but for my part I disdain no man although I cannot intimately love all men Comorade He is but one man Lady Solid And I have but one particular love to give or rather I may say to be gain'd for I cannot dispose of it for it will be only disposed by it self without my leave so as I must be guided by that which will not be guided by me I can lend my pity but not give him my love Comorade I suppose you have given him some encouragement and hopes if not an assurance by reason he sayes you have forsaken him Solid Not unless common civility be an encouragement and ordinary conversation gives hopes as for an assurance indeed I gave Monsieur Profession For I did assure him I could not love him as he would have me love him as Husband But O vain man to brag of that he never had Comorade 'T is no brag Lady to confess he is forsaken Solid It is a brag for in that he implyes he hath been beloved for the one must be before the other Comorade Pray Madam let me perswade you to entertain his love he is a Gentleman who hath worth person and wealth all which he offers you as to his Goddesse and a good offer is not to be refused Lady when it may lawfully be taken Solid You say true Sir and could I perswade my love as easily as you can commend the man 't is likely I should not refuse him Comorade But you will be thought cruel to let a Gentleman dye for want of your love Solid Why put the case I have other Lovers as passionate and worthy as he how would you have me divide my self amongst them Or can you tell me how to please them I cannot marry them all the Laws forbids it and to be the common Mistresse to them all honour and honesty forbids it for though there is some excuse for men who hath by custom their liberty in amours because their amours obstructs not nature so makes breach of honesty but women are not only barr'd by nature but custom of subjection and modesty of education wherefore if they should take liberty to several Lovers or loves courtships they would not only dishonour themselves and their whole Sex and their living friends but their dishonour would outreach their Posterity and run back to their Fore-fathers that were dead long long before they were born for their
civil to invite a rich noble Husband Sansp. Why say I had the power to pick and choose amongst the noblest and the richest men a Husband out you cannot promise me a happy life fortune may set a Crown of Diamonds on my head yet prick my heart with thorns bind up my spirits with strong chained fears my thoughts imprisoned in dark melancholly and thus my mind may prove a Hell unto my life and my Husbands actions devils to torment it Mother No disputing but let my will be obeyed Sansp. It is fit it should be by me although it brings my ruine Lady Mother goes out Sanspareille alone Sanspareille Ioy gave me wings and made my spirits fly Hope gave me strength to set ambition high Fear makes me old as paulsie shakes each limb My body weak and both my eyes are dimb Like to a Ball which rackets beats about So is my heart strucken twixt hope and doubt Ex. Scene 4. Enter the Lady Incontinent and one of her women LAdy Incontinent I observe the Lord de L'amour useth the Lady Innocence with more respect than he was used to do and I observe his eyes meets her when she comes in place where he is and follows her wheresoever she goeth and when she stands still they are sixt upon her Woman Truly she hath power if she will put it in force to command a heart at least to perswade a heart to love her for certainly she is very beautifull if it were not obscured under a sad countenance as the Sun behind a dark cloud but sometimes do what she can in despite of her sadnesse it will keep out and the other day when you were gone abroad I saw her dance sing and play on a Gitturn all at one time Lady Incontinent And how did it become her Woman Truly she sung so sweetly played so harmoniously danced so gracefully and looked so beautifully that if I had been a man I should have been in love with her Lady Incontinent I charge you break her Gittar tell her she sings not well and that her dancing doth ill-become her Woman Perchance she will not believe me Lady Incontinent Oh yes for youth are credulous even against themselves Exeunt ACT II. Scene 5. Enter the Lady Sanspareille and walks a turn or two as contemplating SAnspareille Ambitious thoughts flyes high yet never tires Wing'd with the swiftest thoughts of desires Then thoughts of hopes runs busily about Yet oft are stop'd with thoughts of fear and doubt And thoughts of mirth and melancholly strives All thoughts are restless till the body dyes Enter Sir Father Love Father Love My childe it is a sign you are melancholly that you are in a poetical vain She weeps Father Why do you weep Sansp. Melancholly thoughts makes tears to flow thorough my eyes Father Melancholly why thou art not come to the years of melancholly 't is aged brows on which sad Saturn sets and tired thoughts on which he reigns and on grieved heart his heavy taxes layes but those that are young he leaves to other powers neither hath fortune set her turning foot upon thy head for thou art in the same worldly condition that thou wert born to wherefore thy mind may be quiet and thy thoughts merry and free Sansp. Surely sir it is not alwaies age nor yet cross fortunes that clouds the mind for some are old and mean poor and despised yet merry and humours gay and some are young and fairer and rich and well esteemed honoured and loved and yet their thoughts dejectedly doth move and humour dull as lead 't is nature makes melancholly neither age nor evil fortune brings it Father But what makes thee sad my child Sansp. Ambition Sir Father What doth your ambition aim at If it be honour I have an Estate will buy thee an honourable Husband if it be riches I will be saving and live thriftily if it be gallantry or bravery I will maintain thee at the hight of my fortune wear Frieze my self and adorn thee in Diamonds Silver and Gold Sanspareille Heaven forbid that my vanity should prodigally spend your Estate or my covetousnesse pinch and starve your Life or that my pride should be match'd with noble honour which should be as humble as great Father It cannot be for wit and beauty for surely nature hath made her self poor by giving you so much Sansp. My dear Father know it is fame I covet for which were the ambitions of Alexander and Caesar joyned into one mind mine doth exceed them as far as theirs exceeded humble spirits my mind being restless to get the highest place in Fames high Tower and I had rather fall in the adventure than never try to climb wherefore it is not titled Honour nor Wealth nor Bravery nor Beauty nor Wit that I covet but as they do contribute to adorn merit which merit is the only foundation whereon is built a glorious fame where noble actions is the architectour thereof which makes me despairingly melancholly having not a sufficient stock of merit or if I had yet no waies to advance it but I must dye like beasts forgotten of mankind and be buried in Oblivions grave Father If it be fame my child covets it is a noble ambition and Heaven pardon me if I speak vain-gloriously of what is my own yet I speak but my opinion when I say I do believe there is none so fit to raise a fame as thou art Sansp. Sir your love speaks as willing to incourage me but know Sir it is not a vulgar fame I covet for those that goeth with equal space and even hights are soon lost as in a crowd or multitude but when fame is inthron'd all Ages gazes at it and being thus supremly plac'd up high Like as an Idol gets Idolatry Thus singularity as well as merit advances fame Father Child thou speakest alwaies reason and were my life the only singular way to raise thy fame thou shouldst have it Sansp. Heaven forbid For that would raise my infamie if I should build upon my Fathers noble life But Sir do you love me Father Yes above my life for thou art the life of my life Sansp. Do you love me as well as you think you could your Grand-children Father No comparison can be made for thou art come immediately from my loynes those but from the Ioines of my Issue which is estranged from me and for their affections Grand-childrens is but weak only they keep alive my name not love for that dyes in the second descent and many times the first Sansp. But Sir would not you think me strangely unnatural and unworthy of your love to wish or desire you to break the line of your Posterity and bury succession in my grave Father Unnatural no for your vertue can ask nothing of me that my love will think unreasonable to give and for my Posterity I had rather it should end with merit than run on in follies or who knows but their evil or base actions may blemish
all their Predecessours besides it is with succession as with a married pair for if the wife be chast the World will give the honour only to the woman but if she be false the World will lay the disgrace on the Husband and think she sees some defect which makes her prefer another before him So in succession if their succession proves fools cowards avaricious treacherous vitious or the like the World straight judges these imperfections and vices were in hereditarie and that they were attaint or stained from the root or stock but if they prove wise valiant generous just or the like they think they were particular gifts of nature or education thus the faults of succession many descents after may darken like black clouds the bright light of their Predecessours worth and merit Besides there is no certainty of a continued line nor doth many children give an assurance to their Father at the day of his death for when he dyes doubts closes his eyes and fears blowes out lifes fire therefore I had rather live in thy fame than live or dye in an infamous and foolish succession Sansp. Heaven make me thankfull that my desires and my fathers approvement agrees Sir you have not only bred me with a tender love but with a prudent Industry And I have followed your instruction with a Religious Ceremony Keept to your principles with a pious Conscience and since nature and education hath joyned together in my tender years to make my life propitious If fortune favour me and opportunity promote me but we are to consider which way I shall steer the course of my life and if you will please I will tell you how I have designed my voyage Father Heaven prosper the through it and send the a safe passage wheresoever thou adventurest Sansp. Then first it is to be considered I am but a small and weak vessell and cannot swim upon the rough and boysterous Seas which are pitcht fields and fighting Armyes wherein I shall be shattered in the croud and drowned in the confusion of disorder wherefore I must swim in the calm rivers of peace where their is no such storms nor high billows only some cross winds may chance to rise which may hinder me but not drown me this calm river is a Theater and the rough Sea as I said a pitcht field my self the ship you the steeradge and fame the port then thus I will relate how I have designed the voyage of my life first never to marry if I may have your consent to live a single life for that time which will be lost in a married condition I will study and work with my own thoughts and what new Inventions they can find out or what probabilityes they conceive or phancies they create I will publish to the world in print before I make them common by discourse but if I marry although I should have time for my thoughts and contemplations yet perchance my Husband will not approve of my works were they never so worthy and by no perswasion or reason allow of there publishing as if it were unlawfull or against nature for Women to have wit And strives allwayes if their wives have wit to obscure it And I am of that opinion that some men are so inconsiderately wise gravely foolish and lowly base as they had rather be thought Cuckolds than their wives should be thought wits for fear the world should think their wise the wiser of the two and that she rules and governs all the affairs at home for most men rather than they will not shew their power and Authority will appear a Quat-queen that is an effeminate scold Secondly I will not receive nor give private vissits or entertainments but from those and to those that duty and gratitude and loyalty enjoyns me for in private visits or entertainments is onely so much time stuft with senceless vain idle light discourses or flattering compliments wherein time and life is unprofitably lost Thirdly I would never speak but in publick for if nature and education have given me wit I would not willingly bury it in private discourses besides privat hearers are secret Thieves and boldly steals having no witnesses to betray or reveale the truth or divuldge their thefts and so they will adorn their discourses with my wit which they steal from me Fourthly I will never speak of any considerable matter or subject or of any new conception but I will have them ready writ to print them so soon as my discourse of them is past or else print them before I discourse of them and afterwards explain them by my tongue as well as by my pen least they should mistake the sence of my workes through Ignorance for those subject that are only discourst off in speach flyes away in words which vanisheth as smoak or shadows and the memory or remembrance of the Author or Oratour melts away as oyle leaving no sign in present life or else moulders as dust leaving no Monument to after-posterity to be known or remembred by when writeing or printing fixes it to everlasting time to the publick view of the World besides a passing discourse makes the tongue but as an Almner to give wit to poor Sharkes to feed them which Sharkes eats without giving praise or thankes never acknowledging at whose cost they live at Nay so unthankfull they are that they will bely the Authors and themselves saying it was their own and it is a certain rule that those Authors they steal most from they will dispraise and rale most at And some are so foolish and of such short memoryes that they will repeat the Authors wit to the Authors self and as confident as it had been created or invented out of their own brains Fifthly I will select times for several discourses and subjects to discourse in publick to several Audiences to which you may if you please invite the grave and wise to hear me and being a woman Oratour the singularity will advance my fame the more besides many accidents may we chance to meet which may prove as steps to ascend or Mount up Thus Sir if you please to approve of my design I shall follow the means or wayes unto it if not I shall submit to what you shall think will be better for me Father I do approve of your design so well as I cannot but admire it And I believe the best designer that ever was never cast such a mould or laid such a plot or drew such a draught to raise a fame on or to work a fame out Sansp. But Sir you must arm yourselfe against all oppositions and Baracodo your ears against all cross perswaders and muster your forces of hopes drawing them into a body of confidence and march with a resolution either to dye in the adventure or to triumph with victory and to live everlastingly in a glorious fame for Sir we shall meet wranglers and jesters scorners and scoffers disputers and opposers contradictors and lyers which
Funeral Oration Friend Why Sir your distemper hath so disordered all your Family as it was not thought of Father Love She shall not go to the Grave without due Praises if I have life to speak them Wherefore raise me up and carry me to the Holy place before her Herse thus in my Chair sick as I am For I will speak her Funeral Oration although with my last words Thus will I be carryed living to my Grave He is carried out in a Chair by Servants Ex. Scene 21. Enter the Lord de l' Amour alone as in a Melancholy humour LOrd de l'Amour When I do think of her my mind is like a tempestuous Sea which foams and roars and roles in Billows high My brain like to a Ship is wracked and in it's ravenous Waves my heart is drowned And as several winds do blow so several thoughts do move some like the North with cold and chilly Fears others as from the South of hot Revenge do blow As from the East despairing storms do rise A Western grief blows tears into mine eyes Walks about and weeps Enter Master Charity his Friend Mr. Charity My Lord why are you so melancholy for that which is past and cannot be help'd Lord de l'Amour Oh! the remembrance of her death her cruel death is like the Infernal Furies torments my soul gives it no case nor rest For sometimes my soul is flung into a Fire of Rage That burns with furious pain And then with frozen despair it rips it up again But I unjust and credulous I was the cause of her untimely death Enter the Maid that accused her Falshood O my Lord forgive me for I have murdered the innocent Lady you grieve for for my false Accusation was the hand that guided the dagger to her heart but my Ladies command was the Thief that stole the Chain for she commanded me to take the Chain and accuse the Lady of the Theft for which she gave me the Chain for a reward This I will witnesse by oath unto you and all the World For it is heavier than a world upon my Conscience Lord de l'Amour Why did your Lady so wicked an act Falshood Through Jealousie which bred Envy Envy Malice Malice Slander and this Slander hath produce Murder Enter Informer the other Maid Informer Oh my Lady My Lady hath hanged her self for when she heard Falshood was gone to tell your Lordship the truth of the Chain she went into a base place and hung her self and upon her breast I found this written Paper She gives it de l'Amour to read Lord de l'Amour It is the Lady Incontinents Hand-writing He reads it I have been false to my Marriage-bed lived impudently in the sin of Adultery in the publick face of the World I have betray'd the trust imposed to my charge slandered the Innocent poysoned the Instrument I imployed Falshood All which being summ'd up was worthy of hanging Falshood falls down dead Lord de l'Amour She hath sav'd me a labour and kept my Heroick Honour free from the stains of having laid violent hands on the Effeminate Sex Friend What shall be done with this dead Body Lord de l'Amour Let her Ladies body with hers be thrown into the Fields to be devoured of Beasts Ex. ACT V. Scene 22. Enter the Funeral Herse of the Lady Sanspareile covered with white Satine a silver Crown is placed in the midst her Herse is born by six Virgins all in white other Virgins goe before the Herse and strew Flowers white Lillies and white Roses The whilst this Song is sung SPOtlesse Virgins as you go Wash each step as white as Snow With pure Chrystal streams that rise From the Fountain of your eyes Fresher Lillies like the day Strew and Roses as white as they As an Emblem to disclose This Flower sweet short liv'd as those The whilst her Father is carryed as sick in a Chair the Chair covered with black and born black by Mourners he himself also in close Mourning when they have gone about the Stage The Herse is set neer to the Grave there being one made Then the Father is placed in his Chair upon a raised place for that purpose the raised place also covered with Black he being placed speaks her Funeral Sermon Father Love Most Charitable and Noble Friends that accompany the Dead Corps to the Grave I must tell you I am come here although I am as a Dead Man to the World yet my desire is to make a living Speech before I go out of the world not only to divulge the Affections I had for my Daughter but to divulge her Virtue Worth and good Graces And as it is the custome for the nearest Kindred or best and constantest Friends or longest acquaintance to speak their Funeral Oration wherein I take my self to be all wherefore most fit to speak her Funeral Oration For I being her Father am her longest acquaintance and constantest Friend and nearest in Relation wherefore the fitest to declare unto the world my natural and Fatherly Love Death will be a sufficient witnesse For though I am old yet I was healthful when she lived but now I cannot live many hours neither would I for Heaven knows my affections struggle with Death to hold Life so long as to pay the last Rites due to her dead Corps struck by Death's cruel Dart But most Noble and Charitable Friends I come not here with eye fil'd with salt tears for sorows thirsty Jaws hath drunk them up sucked out my blood left my Veins quite dry luxuriously hath eat my Marow out my sighs are spent in blowing out Life's Fire only some little heat there doth remain which my affections strive to keep alive to pay the last Rites due to my dead Child which is to set her praises forth for living Virtuously But had I Nestors years 't would prove too few to tell the living Stories of her Youth for Nature in her had packed up many Piles of Experience of Aged times besides Nature had made her Youth sweet fresh and temperate as the Spring and in her brain Flowers of Fancies grew Wits Garden set by Natures hand wherein the Muses took delight and entertained themselves therein Singing like Nightingales late at Night or like the Larks ere the day begin Her thoughts were as the Coelestial Orbes still moving circular without back ends surrounding the Center of her Noble mind which as the Sun gave light to all about it her Virtues twinkled like the fixed Starrs whose motion stirs them not from their fix'd place and all her Passions were as other starres which seemed as only made to beautifie her Form But Death hath turned a Chaos of her Form which life with Art and Care had made and Gods had given to me O cursed death to rob and make me poor Her life to me was like a delightful Mask presenting several interchanging Scenes describing Nature in her several Dresses and every Dresse put in a
I will teach you Mall Mean If your Honour will take the pains to teach a poor ignorant Country Maid I will do the best I can to learn forsooth but will it not be too much pains for your Honour do you think Lo. Title No no it will be both for my Honour and my pleasure and for the pleasure of my Honour Mall Mean-bred Blesse us how the Lords doe It backward and forward at their pleasure the finest that ever was but what would your Honour have of me Lo. Title By this kiss I le tell you He goes to kiss her she seems nice and coy Mall Mean O fie fie good your Honour do not scandalize your lips to kisse mine and make me so proud as never to kisse our Shepherd again He offers Mall Mean No fie Lo. Title I will and must kisse you He strives Mall Mean-bred Nay good your Honour good your Honour He kisses her What are you the better now But I see there is no denying a Lord forsooth it is not civil and they are so peremptory too the Gods blesse them and make them their Servants Lo. Title This kisse hath so inflamed me therefore for Loves sake meet me in the Evening in the Broom close here Mall Mean I know the Close forsooth I have been there before now Lo. Title Well and when we meet I will discover more than yet I have done Mall Mean So you had need forsooth for nothing is discovered yet either on your side or mine but I will keep my promise Lo. Title There spoke my better Angel so adiew Mall Mean An Angel I will not break my word for two angels and I hope there will be no dew neither God shield you forsooth Ex. Here ends my Lord Marquesse Scene 18. Enter Sir Effeminate Lovely following Poor Virtue Sir Effeminate Lovely Fair Maid stay and look upon my person Poor Virtue Why so I do Effem. Love And how do you like it Poor Vir. As I like a curious built house wherein lives a vain and self-conceited owner Effem. Love And are not you in love with it Poor Vir. No truly no more than with a pencilled Picture Effem. Love Why I am not painted Poor Vir. You are by Nature though not by Art Effem. Love And do you despise the best and curiousest Works of Nature Poor Vir. No I admire them Effem. Love If you admire them you will admire me and if you admire me you will yield to my desires Poor Vir. There may be admiration without love but to yield to your desires were to abuse Natures VVorks Effem. Love No It were to enjoy them Poor Vir. Nature hath made Reason in man as well as Sence and we ought not to abuse the one to please the other otherwise man would be like Beasts following their sensualities which Nature never made man to be for she created Virtues in the Soul to govern the Senses and Appetites of the Body as Prudence Justice Temperance and Conscience Effem. Love Conscience VVhat is that natural fear Poor Vir. No it is the tenderest part of the Soul bathed in a holy dew from whence repentant tears do flow Effem. Love I find no such tender Constitution nor moist Complexion in my Soul Poor Vir. That is by reason the Fire of unlawful Love hath drunk all up seared the Conscience dry Effem. Love You may call it what Fire you will but I am certain it is your Beauty that kindles it and your Wit that makes it flame burning with hot desires Poor Vir. Pray Heaven my Virtue may quench it out again Poor Virtue goes out Lovely alone Effem. Love I am sure Nature requires a self-satisfaction as well as a self-preservation and cannot nor will not be quiet without it esteeming it beyond life Ex. Scene 19. Enter the Lady Ward and Nurse Careful Lady Ward I wonder my Lord Courtship he being counted a wise man should make me his Baud if he intends to make me his Wife and by my troth Nurse I am too young for that grave Office Nurse Careful How ignorantly you speak Child it is a sign you have been bred obscurely and know little of the world or rather it proves your Mother dyed before you could speak or go otherwise you would be better experienced in these businesses Lady Ward My Mother Nurse Heaven rest her soul she would never have made me a Baud Nurse Careful No why then she would not do as most Mothers do now a dayes for in this age Mothers bring up their daughters to carry Letters and to receive messages or at lest to watch at the door left their Fathers should come unawares and when they come to make some excuse and then the Mother laughs and sayes her daughter is a notable witty Girle La. Ward What for telling a lye Nurse Careful Yes when it is told so as to appeare like a truth Lady Ward But it is a double fault as to deceive the Father and be a Baud to the Mother Nurse Careful Why the Mother will execute the same Office for the daughter when she is marryed and her self grown into years for from the age of seven or eight years old to the time they are maryed the Daughter is a Baud to the Mother and from the time of their marriage to the time of their Mothers death the Mother is a Baud to the Daughter but if the Mother be indifferently young and hath a young tooth in her head as the old saying is they Baud for each other Lady Ward But why doth not the Mother Baud for her Daughter before she is marryed Nurse Care O there is reason for that for that may spoil her fortune by hindering her marriage for marriage is a Veile to cover the wanton face of adultery the like Veil is Baud-mothers and Baud-daughters for who would suspect any lewdnesse when the Mother and the Daughter is together La. Ward And are not Sons Pimps for their Fathers as Daughters are for their Mothers Nurse Careful No saith Boys have facility or ingenuity as Girles have besides they are kept most commonly so strictly to their Bookes when Girles have nothing else to do but when they have cast away their Books and come to be marryed men then they may chance to Pimp for their Wives Lady Ward O fie Nurse surely a man will never play the Pimp to Cuckold himself Nurse Care O yes if they be poor or covetous or ambitious and then if they have a handsome woman to their wife they will set her as a bait to catch their designs in the trap of Adultery or patient quiet simple fearful men will if they have a Spritely wise they will play the Pimp either for fear or quiet for such men to such wives will do any thing to please them although it be to Cuckold themselves La. Ward But surely Nurse no Gentleman will do so Nurse Gare. I know not who you call Gentleman but those that bear up high and look big and vant loud and walk
proud and carry the out-side of a Gentleman will do so La. Ward Certainly Nurse they are but Bastard Gentry or else they are degenerated Nurse Careful An incipid Branch may spring from a sound Root many a withered and rotten Plum may hang on a good Tree La. Ward And do Wives play the Bauds for their Husbands as the Husbands play the Pimps for their Wives Nurse Care Most often for they will make Gossiping meetings on purpose for their Husbands to Court other women for they know when their Husbands minds are fill'd with amorous love they will not muse upon their actions nor examine their wayes besides when as the Husband would take his liberty without disturbance he will wink at the liberty his wife takes and so will be procures for each other and the Ladys acquaintance are Confidents La. Ward Confidents what is that Nurse Nurse Careful Why it is thus two Ladies make friendship or at least call Friends and if any man desires to be a Courtly Servant to one of them he addresses himself to the other and expresses what Passions and Affections he hath for her friend and so makes his complaints and affections known to her whereupon she recommends his addresses and service to her Friend thus doing a friendly Office by carrying and declaring his professions and returning her Friends civil answers appointing places for each others love-meetings the other will do as much for her La. Ward Why this is a Baud Nurse Care O peace Child for if any body heard you say so they would laugh at you for a Fool but 't is a sign you never was a Courtier for I knew a young Lady that went to Court to be a Maid of Honour and there were two young Ladies that were Confidents to each other and a great Prince made love to one of them but adddrest himself to the other as being her Friend this young Maid askt why he did so it was answered she was the Princes Mistresse Confident and just as you ask me what said she is a confident a Baud whereupon the whole Court laught at her and for that only question condemned her to be a very Fool nay a meer Changling La. Ward VVell Nurse say what you will Confident is but a Courtly name for a Baud Ex. Scene 20. Enter Sir Effeminate Lovely and Mall Mean-bred SIR Effeminate Lovely Those wandering Stars that shine like brightest day are fixt on me the Center of your love This following Scene was writ by the Lord Marquess of New-castle Mall Mean-bred O Heavens Sir Effem. Lovely Happy to touch those Lillies in your cheeks mingled with Roses loves perfumed bath Mall Mean-bred They grow forsooth in our Garden Sir Effem. Lovely You are the Garden of all sweets for love your blushing lips of the Vermillion die and those twin cherries give me leave to taste Mall Mean-bred Truly Sir I understand no Latin but I will call our Vicar to you and he shall expound Sir Effem. Lovely No dearest Dear my lovely Dear my dearest Love my lovelyest Dear Mall Mean-bred I never cost you any thing as yet Sir Sir Effem. Lovely Why then no Lady of Arcadie bred Mall Mean-bred Truly Sir this is as our Vicar saith like Hebrew without poynts to be read backwards say any thing forward in Notthingham-shire speak that I may guess at and I will answer your VVorship though truly it is as fine as ever I understood not Effem. Lovely Why then sweet heart I love you and would gladly enjoy you Mall Mean-bred O fie enjoy is a naughty word forsooth if it please you Effem. Lovely It would please me your thoughts of what you mince Mall Mean-bred Thoughts are free forsooth and I love whole joints without mincing Effem. Lovely Why then in plain English I would have your Maiden-head Mall Mean-bred O dear how will you get it can you tell Truely truely I did not think such naughty words would come forth of so fine a Gentlemans mouth Effem. Lovely But tell me truely do you think me fine Mall Mean You will make me blush now and discover all so fine cloaths the Taylor of Norton never made such and so finely made unbottoned and untrust doth so become you but I do hang down my head for shame and those Linnen Boot-hose as if you did long to ride do so become you and your short Coat to hang on your left arm O sweet O sweet and then your Hat hid with so fine a Feather our Peacocks tailes are not like it and then your hair so long so finely curled and powder'd in sweets a sweeter Gentleman I never saw My love 's beyond dissembling so young so fresh so every thing I warrant you O Sir you will ravish me but yet you cannot Effem. Lovely O how you have made me thankfulnesse all over for this your bounty to me wherefore my earthly Paradise let us meet in the next Close there under some sweet Hedge to tast Loves aromatick Banquet at your Table Mall Mean O Sir you blushes I consent farewel do not betray me then you must not tell Farewell my sweetest granting of my sute Shall still inslave me and be ever mute Here ends my Lord Marquesse's Scene Ex. Scene 21. Enter Poor Virtue and Sir Golden Riches following her Golden Riches Stay lovely Maid and receive a Fortune Poor Virtue I am Fortune proof Sir she cannot tempt me Gold Rich. But she may perswade you to reason Poor Virtue That she seldome doth for she is alwayes in extremes and Extremes are out of Reason's Schools That makes all those that follow Fortune Fooles Gol. Rich. What do you Rime my pretty Maid Poor Virtue Yes Rich Sir to end my discourse Golden Riches I will make you Rich if you will receive my gifts Poor Virtue I love not gifts Sir because they often prove bribes to corrupt Gold Rich. Why what do you love then Poor Vir. I love Truth Fidelity Justice Chastity and I love obedience to lawful Authority which rather than I would willingly and knowingly infring I would suffer death Gold Rich. Are you so wilful Poor Vir. No I am so constant Gold Rich. But young Maid you ought not to deny all gifts for there are gifts of pure affection Love-gifts of Charity gifts of Humanity and gifts of Generosity Poor Virtue They are due debts and not gifts For those you call gifts of pure Love are payments to dear deserving friends and those of Charity are payments to Heaven and those of Humanity are payments to Nature and those Generosity are payments to Merit but there are vain-glorious gifts covetous gifts gifts of fear and gifts that serve as Bauds to corrupt foolish young Virgins Gold Rich. Are you so wise to refuse them Poor Vir. I am so virtuous as not to take them Ex. ACT V. Scene 22. Enter the Lady Contemplation and Lady Visitant Visitant What still musing O thou idle creature Contemp. I am not idle for I busie my self with my own fancies Visitant Fancies are like
a servant to my Mr. and Mrs. I must be dutiful and careful to their commands and on their employments they have put to me wherefore I must leave you Sir and go fold my sheep Lord Title I will help you Exeunt Scene 24 Enter Sir Golden Riches and Mall Mean-bred GOlden Rich. Sweet-heart I have no Sonnets This Scene was written by my Lord Marquiss of Newcastle Songs or stronger Lines with softer Poesie to melt your Soul nor Rhetorick to charm your Eares or Logick for to force or ravish you nor lap 't in richer cloaths embalm'd in Sweets nor Courtly Language but am an Ancient Squire by name Sir Golden Riches which hath force in all things and then in Love for Cupid being blinde he is for feeling and look here my Wench this purse is stuff'd with Gold a hundred pounds Mall Mean-bred Let me see poure it on the ground Gold Rich. I will obey thee Look here my Girl He poures it on the ground Mall Mean-bred O dear how it doth shine forsooth it almost blinds mine eyes take it away yet pray let it stay truly I know not what to do with it Gold Rich. No why it will buy you rich Gowns ap'd in the Silk-worms toyls with stockings of the softer silk to draw on your finer legs with rich lace shooes with roses that seem sweet and garters laced with spangles like twinckling Stars embalm your hair with Gessimond Pomaetums and rain Odoriferous Powders of proud Rome Mall Mean-bred O Heaven what a Wench shall I be could I get them But shall we have fine things of the Pedlar too Gold Rich. Buy all their packs and send them empty home Mall Mean-bred O mighty I shall put down all the Wenches at the May-pole then what will the Bag-piper say do you think Pray tell me for he is a jeering knave Gold Rich. Despise the Rural company and that windy bag change it for Balls with greatest Lords to dance and bring the Jerkin Fiddles out of frame Mall Mean-bred Then I shall have a Mail-Pillion and ride behind our Thomas to the dancing Gold Rich. No you shall ride in rich gilt Coaches Pages and Lacquies in rich Liveries with Gentlemen well cloath'd to wait upon you Mall Mean-bred And be a Lady then I will be proud and will not know Thomas any more nor any Maid that was acquainted with me Gold Rich. You must forget all those of your Fathers house too for I 'll get a Pedigree shall fit you and bring you Lineally descended from Great Charlemain Mall Mean-bred No I will have it from Charls wayn my Fathers Carter but I would so fain be a Lady and it might be I will be stately laugh without a cause and then I am witty and jeer sometimes and speak nonsense aloud But this Gold will not serve for all these fine things Gold Rich. Why then we will have hundreds and thousands of pounds until you be pleas'd so I may but enjoy you in my Arms Mall Mean-bred No Maid alive can hold our these Assaults Gold is the Petarr that breaks the Virgins gates a Souldier told me so VVell then my Lord Title farewel for you are an empty name and Sir Effeminate Lovely go you to your Taylor make more fine cloaths in vain I 'll stick to Riches do then what you will The neerest way to pleasure buy it still Exeunt Scene 25. Enter the Lady Ward alone LAdy Ward Why should Lord Courtship dislike me Time hath not plowed wrinkles in my face nor digged hollows in my cheeks nor hath he set mine eyes deep in my head nor shrunk my sinews up nor suck'd my veins dry nor fed upon my flesh making my body insipid and bate neither hath he quenched out my wit nor decay'd my memory nor ruin'd my understanding but perchance Lord Courtship likes nothing but what is in perfection and I am like a house which Time hath not fully finished nor Education throughly furnished Scene 26. Enter Poor Virtue and Sir Golden Riches meets her comming from Mall Mean-bred Golden Riches Sweet-heart refuse not Riches it will buy thee friends pacifie thy enemies it will guard thee from those dangers that throng upon the life of every creature Poor Virtue Heavenly Providence is the Marshal which makes way for the life to pass through the croud of dangers and my Vertue will gain me honest friends which will never forsake me and my humble submission will pacifie my enemies were they never so cruel Gold Rich. But Riches will give thee delight and place thee in the midst of pleasures Poor Virtue No it is a peaceable habitation a quiet and sound sleep and a healthful body that gives delight and pleasure and 't is not riches but riches many times destroy the life of the body or the reason in the soul or at least bring infirmities thereto through luxury for luxury slackens the Nerves quenches the Spirits and drowns the Brain and slackned Nerves make weak Bodies quenched Spirits timorous Minds a drowned Brain a watry Understanding which causeth Sloth Effeminacy and Simplicity Gold Rich. How come you to know so much of the world and yet know so few passages in it living obscurely in a Farmers house Poor Virtue The Astronomers can measure the distance of the Planets and take the compass of the Globe yet never travel to them nor have they Embassadors from them nor Liegers to lie therein to give Intelligence Gold Rich. How come you to be so learnedly judicious being so young poor and meanly born and bred Poor Virtue Why Fire Air Water and Earth Animals Vegetables and Minerals are Volumes large enough to express Nature and make a Scholar learn to know the course of her works and to understand many effects produced therefrom And as for Judgment and Wit they are brother and sister and although they do not alwayes and at all times agree yet are they alwayes the children of the Brain being begot by Nature Thus what Wit or Knowledge I have may come immediatly from Nature not from my Birth or Breeding but howsoever I am not what I seem Exeunt Scene 27. Enter the Lady Contemplation and the Lady Visitant Visitant What makes you look so sad Contempl. Why Monsieur Amorous's visit hath been the cause of the death of one of the finest Gentlemen of this Age Visitant How pray Contempl. Why thus my Imagination for Imagination can Create both Masculine and Feminine Lovers had Created a Gentleman that was handsomer and more beautiful than Leander Adonis or Narcissus valianter than Tamberlain Scanderbeg Hannibal Caesar or Alexander sweeter-natur'd than Titus the delight of mankinde better-spoken and more eloquent than Tully or Demosthenes wittyer than Ovid and a better Poet than Homer This man to fall desperately in love with me as loving my Vertues honouring my Merits admiring my Beauty wondring at my Wit doting on my Person adoring me as an Angel worshipping me as a Goddess I was his Life his Soul his Heaven This Lover courted
will be very industrious if you please to set me to work Enter Maudlin Huswife her Mother she falls a beating her Maudlin You idle slut do you stand loytering here when it is more than time the Cows were milk'd Mall Mean-bred flings away her milking-pail Mall Mean-bred Go milk them your self with a murrain since you are so light-finger'd Maudlin I will milk your sides first The Mother goeth to beat her again Mall Mean-bred her daughter runs away from her mother she follows her running to catch her Master Inqui. I marry Sir this is right as a Farmers daughter should be but in my Conscience the other Maid that was here before her is a bastard begot by some Gentleman Exeunt Scene 14. Enter Sir John Argument and the Lady Conversation LAdy Conversa. Let me tell you Sir Iohn Argument Love delivers up the whole Soul to the thing beloved and the truth is none but one soul can love another Argum. But Justice Madam must be the rule of Love wherefore those souls which Love must give the bodies leave to joyn Conversat. O no pure souls may converse without gross bodies Argument Were it not for the Senses Madam souls could have no acquaintance and without an acquaintance there can be no reciprocal affection and will you make the Senses which are the souls chief confidence to be strangers or enemies Conversat. I would have them converse but not interrupt Argum. The bodies must have mutual friendship and correspondency with each other or otherwise they may dissemble or betray the souls or abuse the trust loose appetites or wandring senses or contrary humours and what can interrupt Love more than the disagreement of bodies Conversat. The Senses and Appetites of the Body are but as subject to the Soul Argument But 't is impossible for Forein Princes as I will compare two loving souls unto can live in peace and mutual amity if their subjects disagree Enter Mistris Troublesome Conversat. O Mistris Troublesome you are welcome for you shall end the dispute between Sir Iohn Argument and I Troublesome If you cannot decide the Dispute your selves I shall never do it But what is the Dispute Madam Conversat. Whether there can be a perfect friendship of Souls without a reciprocal and mutual conversation and conjunctions of Bodies Troublesome Faith Madam I think it would be a very faint friendship betwixt the Souls without the Bodies Conversat. I perceive Sir Iohn Argument and you would never make Platonick Lovers Troublesome Faith Madam I think Platonick is a word without sense Argument You say right Mistris Troublesome it is an insensible love Conversat. It is the Soul of Love Troublesome What 's that Madam a Ghost or Spirit Conversat. Indeed it hath no material body Argument No for it is an incorporal thing Troublesome What is an incorporal thing Sir Iohn Argument Why nothing Troublesome Pray leave this discourse or else you will talk nonsense Argument That 's usual in Conversation Conversat. Setting aside this discourse at Mistris Troublesomes request Pray tell me how the Lady Contemplation doth Troublesome Faith Madam by the course of her life one might think she were an incorporal thing Conversat. Why Troublesome Because she makes but little use of her Body living always within her Minde Conversat. Then her Body stands but as a Cypher amongst the Figures of her thoughts Troublesome Just so by my Troth Conversat. Pray bring me acquainted with the Lady Contemplation Troublesome If it be possible I will but the Lady Visitant can do it better than I Conversat. I am resolv'd I will visit her Exeunt Scene 15. Enter the Lord Courtship and the Lady Ward LOrd Courtship What is your passion over Lady Ward My passion will strive to maintain my honour and you may take my life but as long as I live my passion will fight in the quarrel But what man of honour will make a Bawd of her he intends to make his Wife and what man of honour will be cruel to those that are weak helplesse and shiftlesse and what man of honour will be uncivil to the meanest of our Sex It is more noble to flatter us than to quarrel with us but that I have heard you are valiant I should think you were a base coward and such a one that would quarrel in a Brothel-house rather than fight in a Battel But I perceive you are one that loves Pleasure more than Honour and Life more than Fame and I hate to be in that mans company or to make a Husband whose courage lies in Voluptousness and his life in Infamy I will sooner marry Death than such a man The Lady Ward goes out Lord Courtship alone Lord Courts Her words have shot through my soul and have made a sensible wound therein How wisely she did speak how beautiful appear'd Her minde is full of honour and the actions of her life are built upon noble principles so young so wise so fair so chaste and I to use her so basely as I have done O how I hate my self for doing so unworthily Exit Scene 16. Enter Sir Effeminate Lovely and Poor Virtue EFfemin. Lovely The more ground is troden on the easier the path to walk in Poor Virtue It seems so that you visit me so often Effem. Lovely Why thou art such sweet company and behav'st thy self so prettily as I cannot choose but visit thee Poor Virtue I would if I could behave my self so to the world as my indiscretion might not defame me Effem. Lovely Why do you think of a Fame Poor Virtue VVhy not since fame many times arises from poor Cottages as well as from great Palaces witness the Country labouring-man that was taken from the plough and made an Emperour as being thought sittest to rule both for Justice and VVisedome and he was more famous than those that were born of an Heroick Line and were of Royal dignity and David a shepherd became a King 'T is Merit that deserves a fame not Birth and sometimes Merit hath its desert though but seldome Effem. Lovely Thy discourse would tempt any man Poor Virtue Mistake not my discourse it hath no such devilish design for to tempt is to pervert 'T is true my Nature takes delight to delight and please others and not to crosse or displease any yet not to tempt or to delude with counterfeit demeanors or fair insinuating words smooth speech or oiled tongue to draw from Virtues side but to perswade and plead in Virtues cause Effem. Lovely Thy very looks would gain a cause before thy tongue could plead Poor Virtue Alas mans countenance is like the Sea which ebbs and flows as passion moves the minde Effem. Lovely I am sure Love moves my minde and makes it in a fiery heat Poor Virtue If it be noble Love it is like the Sun which runs about to give both light and heat to all the world that else would sit in darknesse and be both cold and steril so doth a noble minde run with industry to
the Air of Conversation but when continually kept close in the Chamber of Contemplation they will be apt to fall into many several diseases as melancholy Opinions and extravagant Fancies which may over-heat the minde and sire the thoughts wherefore Lady let me give you Counsel Lady Contempl. What Counsel would you give me as a Lawyer or Physician Sir Fan. Poet As a Physician Lady Contempl. For the Body or the Minde Sir Fan. Poet For the Minde Lady Contempl. The Physicians for the Minde are Divine Sir Fan. Poet No the best physicians for the Minde are Poets Lady Contempl. How will you prove that Sir Fan. Poet By Example and Skill for when the Minde is raging mad Poets with gentle perswasions in smooth numbers and soft musick cure it and when the Mind is despairing Poets draw hopes into numbers which beats out the doubtful Foe And for Example David with his Poetical Inspirations and Harpsical harmonious Musick allay'd the ill Spirit and raging passion of Saul for Poets take from the sweet Spring of Nature an Oil of Love and from Heaven the Balsom of Mercy and pour them through golden numbers and pipes of wit into the fester'd wounds of despair when oft-times Divines in stead of supple Oil pour in corroding Vitriol and in stead of healing Balsoms pour in burning Sulphure which are terrifying threats and fearful menaces wherefore Lady let me advise you as a Poetical Physician to keep your minde cool and your thoughts in equal temper wherefore in order thereto when the minde is wrapt in the mantle of Imagination if it finds it self very hot therewith let it lay that mantle by and bathe it self in the fresh clear pure Rivers of Discourse Lady Contempl. By your favour Sir for the most part the Mind becomes hotter with the motion of the tongue than the mantle of Imagination for when the tongue hath liberty it runs wildly about and draggs the minde after it and rather than I will have my minded dragg'd and hurried about by my unruly tongue which will neither endure the bit of Reason nor the bridle of Discretion but runs beyond all sense I will tye up my tongue with the cords of silence in the stable of the mouth and pull down the Port-cullis of the teeth before it and shut the doors of my lips upon it Thus shall it be treble lock'd and kept with the Key of Judgment and the Authority of Prudence Exeunt Scene 20. Enter the Lady Conversation and a Grave Matron LAdy Conversat. Did you hear him say he had layn with me Matron Yes Madam Lady Conversat. O the wicked base vain-glory of men to bely the pure chastity of a woman But surely he did not plainly express so much in clear words as by nods winks shrugs dark sentences or broken discourses Matron He said plainly he had layn with you in an unlawful manner Lady Conversat. Fates assist me in revenge for it is no dishonour to be reveng'd of a base person that hath maliciously slander'd me or vain-gloriously injur'd me Matron Revenge is against the Laws of Honour Madam Lady Conversat. It may be against the Tenets of some particular Religion or religious Opinions But a noble revenge is the ground or foundation of Heroick Honour Matron But what do you call a Noble Revenge Lady Conversat. First to be an open Enemy as to declare the enmity next to declare their endeavour to prosecute to the utmost of their power either their Enemies Estate Liberty and Life whereas a base Revenger is to dissemble in professing they have forgotten and forgiven their injury and pardon'd their Enemy yet under-hand and disguisedly endeavour to do their Enemy a mischief Not but an honourable Revenger may choose their time for executing their revenge but they must declare they will be revenged before they execute their revenge and let their Enemies stand upon their Guard Matron But a revengeful woman is not good Lady Conversat. Why not as well as a revengeful man For why may not a woman revenge her scandaliz'd honour as well as a man Is there any reason why it should be a dishonour for a man to pass by a disgrace and for a woman to revenge her disgrace Is it not as great a blemish to the honour of a woman to be said to be unchaste as for a man to be said to be a Coward And shall a woman only sit and weep over her lost honour whilest a man fights to regain his And shall it be thought no dishonour for a man to pistol or at least bastonade another man for an injury or an affront receiv'd and a fault for a woman to do or cause to be done the like Must women only sit down with foolish patience and endure wrong when men may execute revenge with fury These were both injustice and an unjust act of Education to our Sex as also it would be an unjust sentence not only from men but from the Gods since neither Gods nor men will suffer injury wrong or dishonour without revenge But if Gods Men and Education should be so unjust to our Sex yet there is no Reason in Nature we should be so unjust to our selves But for my part as I am constant to an honest friend and can easily forgive an honourable Enemy so I can never forgive a malicious Foe nor forget a vain-glorious bragging fool or false slandring knave but will persecute them to the utmost of my power and the weight of my revenge should be according to the pressure of my injury or dishonour Matron But let me tell you Madam those that brag are seldome believ'd and there is none that believe these vain bragging Ranters for it 's well known that all Ranters are idle deboyst persons and do usually belye the most Honourable and Chaste Ladies for which all worthy persons hate them and account them so base as they will shun their companies no man of honour will come near them unless it be to beat them But if you appear to the world as concerned you may raise those doubts which would never have been raised had you took no notice thereof Lady Conversat. Indeed Disputes raise doubts wherefore I will not bring it into a Dispute but take your Counsel and take no notice of it Matron You will do vvisely Lady Exeunt Scene 21. Enter Sir Golden Riches to Poor Virtue SIr Gold Rich. I vvish my tongue as smooth as oil to make my vvords as soft as Air that they may spread about your heart there intermixd with your affection Poor Virtue Words cannot win my love no more than wealth nor is my heart subject to those infections Sir Gold Rich. I will build thee Palaces of burnish'd gold where thou shalt be worshipd whilest thou livest and when thou diest I will erect a Monument more famous than Mausolus's was Poor Verrtue My Virtue shall build me a Monument far richer and more lasting for the materials with which it shall be built shall be try'd Chastity as
give away what they have Portrait Talk not of womens souls for men say we have no souls only beautiful bodies Bon' Esprit But beautiful bodies are a degree of souls and in my Conscience please men better than our souls could do Superbe If anything prove we have no souls it is in letting men make such fools of us Matron Come come Ladies by Womens Actions they prove to have more or at least better souls than Men have for the best parts of the Soul are Love and Generosity and Women have more of either than Men have Grave Temperance The truth is that although Reason and Understanding are the largest parts of the Soul yet Love and Generosity are the delicatest parts of the Soul Enter Monsieur Heroick Heroick Goodmorrow young Ladies you appear this morning like sweet-smelling flowers some as Roses others as Lillies others as Violets Pinks and Primroses and your associating in a company together is like as a Posie which Love hath bound up into one Bucket which is a fit Present for the Gods Bon' Esprit If you would have us presented to the Gods we must die for we are never preferred to them but by Death wherefore we must be given to Death before the Gods can have us they may hear us whilest we live and we may hear of them but partake of neither until we die Heroick O that were pity Ladies for there is nothing more sad in Nature than when Death parts a witty Soul from a young beautiful Body before the one hath built Monuments of Memory and the other gained Trophies of Lovers And as for the Gods you will be as acceptable to them when you are old as when you are young Ambition As nothing could make me so sad as untimely death of Youth Wit and Beauty so there is nothing could anger me more as for Fortune to frown upon Merit or not to advance it according to its worth or to bury it in Oblivion hindring the passage into Fames Palace Temperance For my part I believe Death will neither call nor come for you before his natural time if you do not send Surfet and Excess to call him to take you away Pleasure Indeed Mankind seem as if they were Deaths Factors for they do strive to ingross and destroy all other creatures or at least as many as they can and not only other creatures but their own kinde as in Wars and not only their own kinde but themselves in idle and unprofitable Adventures and gluttonous Excess thus as I said they are Deaths Factors buying sickness with health hoping to gain pleasure and to make delight their profit but they are cozen'd for they only get Diseases Pains and Aches Matron Pray Ladies mark how far you are gone from the Text of your discourse as from sweet-smelling flowers to stinking carrion which are dead carkasses from a lively good-morrow to a dead farewel from mirth to sadness Portrait You say right Mother Matron wherefore pray leave off this discourse for I hate to hear off death for the thoughts of death affright me so as I can take no pleasure of life when he is in my mind Heroick Why Ladies the thought of death is more than death himself for thoughts are sensible or imaginable things but Death himself is neither sensible nor imaginable Portrait Therefore I would not think of him and when I am dead I am past thinking Superbe Let us discourse of something that is more pleasing than Death Heroick Then by my consent Ladies your discourse shall be of Venus and Cupid which are Themes more delightful to your Sex and most contrary to death for Love is hot and Death is cold Love illuminates life and Death quenches life out Bon Esprit Let me tell you Sir Love is as apt to burn life out as Death is to quench it out and I had rather die with cold than be burnt with heat for cold kills with a dead numness when heat kills with a raging madnesse Pleasure But Lovers are tormented with fears and doubts which cause cold sweats fainting of spirits trembling of limbs it breaks the sweet repose of sleep disturbs the quiet peace of the mind vades the colours of beauty nips or blasts the blossome of youth making Lovers look withered before Time hath made them old Heroick It is a signe Lady you have been in love you give so right a Character of a Lover Pleasure No there requires not a self-experience to find out a Lovers trouble for the outward Actions will declare their inward grief and passion Superbe Certainly she is in love but conceals it she keeps it as a Secret Pleasure Love cannot be secret the passion divulges it self Portrait Confess Are you not in love Faction Nay she will never confess a Secret unless you tell her one for those that tell no secrets shall hear none Portrait O yes for a Secret is like a child in the womb for though it be concealed for a time it will come out at last only some comes out easier than others and some before their time Ambition Nay whensoever a secret comes out it 's untimely Faction Secrets are like Coy Ducks when one is flown out it draws out others and returns with many Pleasure Then like a Coy Duck I will try if I can draw all you after me Exit Pleasure Bon' Esprit She shall see she is like a Duck which is like a Goose and we like her for we will follow her Exeunt Scene 8. Enter Monsiuer Tranquillities Peace and his Man TRanquill Peace Have you been at Monsieur Busie's house to tell him I desire to speak with him Servant Yes I have been at his house Tranquill. Peace And will he come Servant Faith Sir the house is too unwieldy to stir and Monsieur Busie is too Active to stay at home but the truth is I went at four a clock this morning because I would be sure to find him and his servants and their Master was flown out of his nest an hour before Then I told his servants I would come about dinner-time and they laugh'd and ask'd me what time was that I said I supposed at the usual time about Noon or an hour before or after but they said their Master never kept any certain time of eating being full of business Then I asked them what time that would be when he would come home to bed They answered that his time of Resting was as uncertain as his time of Eating Then I pray'd them to tell me at what time they thought I might find him at home They said it was impossible for them to guess for that their Master did move from place to place as swift as thoughts move in the Mind Then I pray'd them that they would tell him when he came home that you would desire to speak with him They told me they would but they did verily believe he would forget to come to you by reason his head was so full of busie thoughts or thoughts of
cannot be perswaded by my Fancy or forced by my Appetites nor betrayed by my Senses for Reason governs my Brain Temperance rules my Appetites Prudence guards my Senses and Fortitude keeps the possession and Fort of my Heart Faction Love will unthrone Reason corrupt Temperance bribe Prudence and bear Fortitude out of the Fort of your Heart Censure For fear of that I will leave you Ladies Exit Enter Mother Matron Matron News News Monsieur Satyrical hath vouchsaf'd to return you an Answer to your Challenge Bon' Esprit Who brought it Matron A scrubbed fellow in a thred-bare cloak the rest of the Ladies say Read it read it Madamoiselle Bon' Esprit She reads it to them Lady you Challeng'd me in Arms to fight Appoint the place the best time is at night For Natural Duellers yet I submit And shall obey to what hour you think fit I am content my Health for to engage And venture Life to satisfie your rage I am no Coward I am not afraid To fight a Duel with a young fair Maid Although old Mother Matron she should be Your Second for the Iudge what she doth see Matron He makes me the scurvy burthen of his more scurvy Verse and scurrilous Answer But I hope this Answer of his to your Challenge will inveterate your spleen as much as his upbraiding my Age did mine Bon' Esprit I have not such reason to be so concern'd as you are for I am honest though you are old Matron May the Infamy of Vice wither the Blossoms of Youth as Age doth the Flowers of Beauty that there may be an equal return of Reproach Bon' Esprit Indeed there is some Reciprocalness in Vice and Age Matron No Vice and Youth are Reciprocal Ambition But I see no Reciprocalnesse betwixt Love and Monsieur Satyrical Bon' Esprit I make no doubt but to bring Monsieur Satyrical into Cupid's snare Faction You may sooner bring your self into Vulcan's Net Bon' Esprit Well mark the end and success Superbe Nay rather we shall mark the endless folly Exeunt Scene 30. Enter Madamoiselle Pleasure and Monsieur Vain-glorious VAin-glorious Lady Pleasure you are the swetest young Lady in the World and the only delight in life Pleasure O Sir you give a Wooers sentence and self-self-love hath bribed your Judgment for most speak partially according to their Affections and not according to Truth Vain-glor. Truth is a prating preaching tatling twatling Gossip and tells many times that which would be better conceal'd Pleasure Truth is the Eye of Knowledge which brings men out of Ignorance It is the Scale of Justice the Sword of Execution the Reward of Merit It is the Bond of Propriety and the Seal of Honesty Vain-glor. Truth is a Tyrant condemning more than she saves Pleasure She condemns none but Fools Knaves Cowards Irreligious Licentious and Vain-glorious persons to be unworthy base false and wicked Exit Vainglorious alone Vain-glorious She condemns Pleasure for truly there is no such thing as Pleasure Exit Scene 31. Enter Monsieur Satyrical alone SAtyrical I must marry or bury succession in my Grave but it 's dangerous very dangerous O Nature Nature hadst thou no other way to Create a man unless thou mad'st a woman But if thou wert forc'd by the Fates to make that Sex yet thou hadst liberty to make her of a constant Mind but thou art inconstant thy self as being of female kind But since I must marry Discretion shall make the Choise which will choose Virtue before Wealth Wit before Beauty Breeding before Birth if she hath Virtue she will be Chaste if she hath Wit she will be Conversable if she hath good Breeding she will be modest and well-behav'd But where is that woman that is virtuously Chaste wittily Conversable and Modestly-behav'd If any woman be thus as I would have her it is Madamoiselle Bon' Esprit she seems to have a Noble Soul by her Honourable Actions which women for the most part are so far from as they seem for the most part to have no souls at all by their mean and petty actions Also she hath a Supernatural Wit I mean supernatural as being a woman and her Wit is not only Ingenious but Judicious by which she will set a value on subjects of Merit and Worth and despise those that are base when fools know not how to prize the best but chuse that is bad not knowing what is good so walk in Errours ways which leads unto dishonour but she having Wit and Honour knows the benefit of Honesty so well as she will be Chaste for her own sake were it not for her Husbands But I most satyrically have translated her sweet and harmless mirth which was presented in her Elevated Verse into a wanton Interpretation Diana thou Goddess of Chastity pardon me But stay thoughts whither wander you let me examine you before you pass any farther as whether or no you are not led by the bow-string of Cupid or the girdle of Venus into the foul paths of vain desires and deluding beauty to the labyrinth of destruction there to be kept and incaptivated by the intanglements and subtill windings and turnings and various passages of Amorous Love But a strict Examination requires Time and a just Judge decides not a Cause without Debate therefore I will have another Contemplation of Consideration before I address my Sute or make known my Desires Exit Scene 32. Enter Madamoiselle Ambition and Monsieur Vain glorious VAin-glor. Madam why should you refuse me Ambition Because I cannot love Vain-glor. Not love me why I am Valiant Wise Witty Honest Generous and Handsome And where will you find a man where all these Excellencies do meet in one Ambition Now you have bragg'd of your self I will plainly prove to you that you are neither perfectly Valiant nor Wise nor Witty nor Generous nor truly Honest Vain-glor. You cannot Ambition I can And first for Valour Have you gone to the Wars and fought why millions do the like and a poor Common Souldier will venture for sixpence on that which a vain Cavalier will hardly do to gain an immortal Fame Or peradventure you have fought Duels why every Drunkard will do as much who in their drink they not reason to consider Valour which is only to fight for the sake of Honour but most commonly Duels are fought through Anger or Fear or Scorn or Revenge or the like which is not true valour but they fight rather like beasts than men as with Force Fury or Appetite caused by natural Antipathies or through the heat of the blood or desires or dislikes of the Senses whereas true Valour is just temperate patient prudent and is the Heroick part or Virtue of the Soul And to be valiant is to fight for the right of Truth and the defence of Innocency without Partiality Covetousness or Ambition Also to prove your self Valiant have you received misfortunes with patience and suffred torments with fortitude Have you forgiven your Enemies or spared a bloody
for she is handsom well-behav'd well-bred a great Estate and of a good Fame and Family Frere And may she have a Husband answerable Soeur Why so she will when she marries you Frere I cannot equal her Virtues nor merit her Beauty wherefore I will not injure her with mariage Soeur Will you not marry her Frere No Soeur I hope you speak not in Earnest Frere In truth Sister I do no not jest Soeur Prethee Brother do not tell my Father so for if you do he will be in such a fury as there will be no pacifying him Frere If you desire it I will not Soeur First reason with your self and try if you can perswade your Affections Frere Affections Sister can neither be perswaded either from or to for if they could I would imploy all the Rhetorick I have to perswade them O sister He goes out in a melancholy posture Enter Monsieur Pere Pere Where is your Brother Soeur He is even now gone from hence Pere How chance he is not gone to his Mistris Soeur I know not Sir but he looks as if he were not very well Pere Not well he 's a foolish young man and one that hath had his liberty so much as he hates to be ty'd in wedlocks Bonds but I will go rattle him Soeur Pray Sir perswade him by degrees and be not too violent at first with him Pere By the Mass Girl thou givest me good counsel and I will tempet him gently Exeunt Scene 20. Enter two or three Maid servants 1 SErvant O she 's dead she 's dead the sweetest Lady in the World she was 2 Servant O she was a sweet-natur'd creature for she would never speak to any of us all although we were her own servants but with the greatest civility as pray do such a thing or call such a one or give or fetch me such or such a thing as all her servants lov'd her so well as they would have laid down their lives for her sake unless it were her Maid Nan 1 Servant Well I say no more but pray God Nan hath not given her a Spanish Fig 3 Servant Why if she did there is none of us knows so much as we can come as Witnesses against her Enter Nan Nan It is a strange negligence that you stand prating here and do not go to help to lay my Lady forth Exit Nan the Maid Enter Monsieur Malateste and passes over the Stage with his handkerchief before his eyes 1 Servant My Master weeps I did not think he had lov'd my Lady so well 2 Servant Pish that 's nothing for most love the dead better than the living and many will hate a friend when they are living and love them when they are dead Exeunt Scene 21. Enter Monsieur Frere and Madam Soeur comes after and finds him weeping Soeur Brother why weep you Frere O Sister Mortality spouts tears through my eyes to quench Loves raging fire that 's in my Heart But 't will not do the more I strive with greater fury doth it burn Soeur Dear Brother if you be in love she must be a cruel woman that will deny you for pure and virtuous love softens the hardest hearts and melts them into pity Frere Would I were turn'd to stone and made a marble Tomb wherein lies nothing but cold death rather than live tormented thus Exit She alone Soeur Heaven keep my fears from proving true Exit Scene 22 Enter Monsieur Sensible and Madamoiselle Amor his Daughter MOnsieur Sensible Daughter how do you like Monsieur Frere Amor Sir I like whatsoever you approve of Sensible But setting aside your dutiful Answer to me tell me how you affect him Amor If I must confess Sir I never saw any man I could love but him Sensible You have reason for he is a fine Gentleman and those Mariages most commonly prove happy when Children and Parents agree Amor But Sir he doth not appear to fancy me so much or so well as I fancy him Sensible It 's a sign Child thou art in Love that you begin to have doubts Amor No Sir but if I thought he could not love me I would take off that Affection I have placed on him whilst I can master it lest it should grow so strong as to become masterless Sensible Fear not Child Exeunt Scene 23. Enter the Sociable Virgins and Matrons 1 MAtron 'T is said that Malateste is a Widower 1 Virgin Why then there is a Husband for me 2 Virgin Why for you he may choose any of us as soon as you for any thing you know 3 Virgin I 'm sure we are as fair 4 Virgin And have as great Portions 5 Virgin And are as well bred as you are 1 Virgin Well I know he is allotted to my share 2 Matron Pray do not fall out about him for surely he will have none of you all for 't is said he shall marry his Maid 1 Virgin Why he is not so mad for though his Maid served to vex and grieve his wife into her grave and also to pass away idle hours with him yet he will not marry her I dare warrant you for those that are maried must take such as they can get having no liberty to choose but when they are free from wedlocks bonds they may have choice Enter Monsieur Malatesle all in mourning 1 Virgin So Sir you are welcome for you can resolve a question that is in dispute amongst us Malatesle What is it Lady 1 Virgin The question is whether you will marry your Maid or not Malatesle No sure I cannot forget my self nor my dead wife so much as to marry my Maid 1 Virgin Faith that is some kindness in Husbands that they will remember their wives when they are dead although they forget them whilst they live Malatesle A good wife cannot be forgotten neither dead nor alive 1 Virgin By your favour Sir a bad wife will remain longest in the memory of her Husband because she vex'd him most Malatesle In my Conscience Lady you will make a good wife 1 Virgin If you think so you had best try Malatesle Shall I be accepted Lady 1 Virgin I know no reason I should refuse Sir for Report says you have a great Estate and I see you are a handsome man and as for your nature and disposition let it be as bad as it can be mine shall match it Malatesle My Nature loves a free spirit 1 Virgin And mine loves no restraint Malatesle Lady for this time I shall kiss your hands and if you will give me leave I shall visit you at your lodging 1 Virgin You shall be welcome Sir Exit Monsieur Malateste 1 Virg. Ladies did not I tell you I should have him 2 Virgin Jesting and Raillery doth not always make up a Match 1 Virgin Well well Ladies God be with you for I must go home and provide for my Wedding for I perceive it will be done on the sudden for Widowers are more hasty to
House Nan I will not go Madam Mal. No but you shall She speaks to her other Maid Go you and call one of those servants I brought with me The maid goes out and enters a man-servant Here take this wench and put her out of the Gates Exit Lady Nan You Rogue touch me and you dare I shall have one to defend me Man I desie your Champion The man takes her up and carries her she shreeks or cries out Monsieur Malateste enters Monsieur Mal. VVhat you Villain will you force her set her down Man I did no more than what I was commanded Monsieur Mal. VVho commanded you Man My Lady Sir commanded me to carry her out of the gates Monsieur Mal. Pray let her alone until I have spoke with my wife Man I shall Sir Exit man She cries Monsieur Mal. VVhat 's the matter Nan Nan Only my Ladies dislikes of my person for it could not be through any neglect of my service or faithful diligence or humble duty but through a passionate humour because she hath heard you were pleased heretofore to favour me Malateste But now we are very honest Nan Nan Yes the more unkind man you to win a young Maid to love and then to turn her away in disgrace Malateste I do not turn you away Nan Yes but you do if you suffer my Lady to turn me away Malateste How should I help that for she hath such a strong spirit as not to be controlld Nan O Sir if you bridle her you may guide her as you will Malateste How should I bridle her Nan VVhy put her to her allowance and take the government of your Family out of her hands as you did to your former Lady Malateste My other wife was born with a quiet obedient nature and this with a high and turbulent nature and if I should cross her high working spirit she would grow mad Nan VVhy then you would have a good excuse to tie her up Malateste Her Friends would never suffer me besides the world would condemn me and account me a Tyrant Nan Why it is better to be accounted a Tyrant than a Fool Malateste O no for men ought to be sweet and gentle-natur'd to the Effeminate Sex Nan I see by you that the worse that men are us'd the better Husbands they make for you were both unkind and cruel to your other Lady neither could you find or at least would not give such Arguments for her Malateste Will you rebuke me for that which you perswaded me unto by dispraising your Lady unto me Nan Alas Sir I was so fond of your company that I was jealous even of my Lady and love is to be pardon'd wherefore Dear Sir turn me not away for Heaven knows I desire to live no longer than when I can have your favour and I wish I were blind if I might not be where I may see you and my heart leaps for joy whensoever I hear your voice wherefore good Sir for loves sake pity me She seems to cry Malat. Well I will speak to my wife for you Exit Monsieur Malateste Nan alone Nan Well if I can but get my Master but dance once to kiss me again which I will be industrious for I will be revenged of this domineering Lady I hope I shall be too crafty for her Exit Act V. Scene 31. Enter Monsieur Frere and Madamoiselle Soeur Soeur Brother speak no more upon so bad a subject for fear I wish you dumb for the very breath that 's sent forth with your words will blister both my ears I would willingly hide your faults nay I am asham'd to make them known but if you do persist by Heaven I will discover your wicked desires both to my Father and Husband Frere Will you so Soeur Yes that I will Frere Well I will leave you and try if Reason can conquer your evil desires or else I 'll die Soeur Heaven pour some holy Balsom into your fester'd soul Exeunt Scene 32 Enter Monsieur Malateste and Madam Malateste his Wife MOnsieur Mal. Wife I am come an humble Petitioner to you in the behalf of Nan she hath been a servant here ever since I was first maried to my other Wife Madam No no Husband I will have none of your whores in the house where I live if you must have whores go seek them abroad Monsieur Pray let not your jealous Passion turn away a good servant Madam Had you rather please your servant a whore or me Monsieur Why you Madam Then turn her away Monsieur But surely Wife you will let me have so much power as to keep an old servant Madam No Husband if your old servant be a young lusty wench Monsieur But I have pass'd my word that she shall stay Madam And I have sworn an Oath that she shall go away Monsieur But my promise must be kept wherefore she shall not goe away Madam I say she shall go away nay more I will have her whip'd at the end of a Cart and then sent out of doors Monsieur As I am Master I will command none shall touch her and let me see who dares touch her Madam VVho dares touch her why I can hire poor fellows for money not only to whip her but murder you Monsieur Are you so free with my Estate I will discharge you of that Office of keeping my money Madam If you do I have Youth and Beauty that will hire me Revengers and get me Champions Monsieur Will you so Madam Yes or any thing rather than want my will and know I perfectly hate you for taking my Maids part against me Monsieur Nay prethee Wife be not so cholerick for I said all this but to try thee Madam You shall prove me Husband before I have done Exeunt Scene 33. Enter Madam Soeur alone Soeur Shall I divulge my Brothers Crimes which are such Crimes as will set a mark of Infamy upon my Family and Race for ever or shall I let Vice run without restraint or shall I prove false to my Husbands bed to save my brothers life or shall I damn my Soul and his to satisfie his wilde desires O no we both will die to save our Souls and keep our Honours clear Exit Scene 34. Enter Monsieur Frere alone FRere The more I struggle with my Affections the weaker do I grow for to resist If Gods had power they sure would give me strength or were they just they would exact no more than I could pay and if they cannot help or will not help me Furies rise up from the infernal deep and give my Actions aid Devils assist me and I will learn you to be more evil than you are and when my black horrid designs are fully finish'd then take my soul which is the quintessence of wickedness and squeeze some venom forth upon the World that may infect mankind with plagues of sins There multitudes will bury mine Or count me as a Saint and offer at my Shrine Exit Scene 35.
Enter Monsieur Malateste and his Maid Nan MAlateste Nan you must be contented for you must be gone for your Lady will not suffer you to be in the house Nan Will you visit me if I should live near your House at the next Town Malateste No for that will cause a parting betwixt my Wife and me which I would not have for all the World wherefore Nan God be with you Nan May your House be your Hell and your Wife be your Devil Exeunt Scene 36. Enter Madam Malateste and her Maid MAid What will your Ladyship have for your Supper Madam Whatsoever is rare and costly Exit maid Enter Steward Steward Did your Ladyship send for me Madam Mal. Yes for you having been an old servant in my Fathers House will be more diligent to observe and obey my commands wherefore go to the Metropolitan City and there try all those that trade in vanities and see if they will give me credit in case my Husband should restrain his purse from me and tell them that they may may make my Husband pay my debts The next is I would have you take me a fine house in the City for I intend to live there and not in this dull place where I see no body but my Husband who spends his time in sneaking after his Maids tails having no other imployment besides solitariness begets melancholy and melancholy begets suspition and suspition jealousie so that my Husband grows amorous with idleness and jealous with melancholy Thus he hath the pleasure of variety and I the pain of jealousie wherefore be you industrious to obey my command Steward I shall Madam Exeunt Scene 37. Enter Madamoiselle Amor as to her Father Monsieur Sensible MAdam Amor Good Sir conceal my Passion left it become a scorn when once 't is known for all rejected Lovers are despised and those that have some small returns of Love yet do those saint Affections triumph vaingloriously upon those that are strong and make them as their slaves Sensible Surely Child thy Affections shall not be divulged by me I only wish thy Passions were as silent in thy breast as on my tongue as that he thou lovest so much may lie as dead and buried in thy memory Amor There 's no way to bury Love unless it buries me Exeunt Scene 38. Enter Monsieur Malateste and Madam Malateste MOnsieur Mal. I hear Wife that you are going to the Metropolitan City Madam Yes Husband for I find my self much troubled with the Spleen and therefore I go to try if I can be cur'd Monsieur Why will the City cure the Spleen Madam Yes for it is the only remedy for melancholy must be diverted with divertisements besides there are the best Physicians Monsieur I will send for some of the best and most famous Physicians from thence if you will stay Madam By mo means for they will exact so much upon your importance as they will cost more money than their journey is worth Monsieur But Wife it is my delight and profit to live in the Country besides I hate the City Madam And I hate the Country Monsieur But every good Wife ought to conform her self to her Husbands humours and will Madam But Husband I profess my self no good Wife wherefore I will follow my own humour Exit Madam He alone Monsieur Malateste I finde there is no crossing her she will have her Will Exit Scene 39. Enter Monsieur Marry and Madam Soeur MOnsieur Marry Wife I am come to rob your Cabinet of all the Ribands that are in it for I have made a running match betwixt Monsieur la Whips Nag and your Brothers Barb and he faith that he shall not run unless you give him Ribands for he is perswaded your Favours will make him win Soeur Those Ribands I have you shall have Husband But what will my Brother say if his Barb should lose the match Marry I ask'd him that question and he answer'd that if he lost he would knock his Barbs brains out of his head Soeur Where is my Brother Marry Why he is with your Father and such a good companion he is to day and so merry as your Father is so fond of his company insomuch as he hangs about his neck as a new-maried wife But I conceive the chief reason is that your Brother seems to consent to marry the Lady Amor Soeur I am glad of that with all my soul Marry But he says if he doth marry her It must be by your perswasons Soeur He shall not want perswading if I can perswade him Marry Come Wife will you give me some Ribands Soeur Yes Husband I will go fetch them Marry Nay Wife I will go along with you Exeunt Scene 40. Enter Madamoiselle Amor alone as in a melancholy humour MAdam Amor Thoughts cease to move and let my Soul take rest or let the damps of grief quench out lifes flame Enter Monsieur Sensible Sensible My dear Child do not pine away for Love for I will get thee a handsomer man than Monsieur Frere Amor Sir I am not so much in love with his person as to dote so fondly thereon Sensible What makes you so in love with him then for you have no great acquaintance with him Amor Lovers can seldome give a Reason for their Passion yet mine grew from your superlative praises those praises drew my Soul out at my Ears to entertain his love But since my Soul misles of what it seeks will not return but leave my body empty to wander like a ghost in gloomy sadness and midnight melancholy Sensible I did mistake the subject I spoke of the substance being false those praises were not current wherefore lay them aside and fling them from thee Amor I cannot for they are minted and have Loves stamp and being out increases like to Interest-money and is become so vast a summ as I believe all praises past present or what 's to come or can be are too few for his merits and too short of his worth Sensible Rather than praise him I wish my Tongue had been for ever dumb Amor O wish not so but rather I had been for ever deaf She goes out He alone Sensible My Child is undone Exeunt Scene 41. Enter two servants of Monsieur Malateste's 1 SErvant My Master looks so lean and pale as I doubt he is in a Consumption 2 Servant Faith he takes something to heart whatsoever it is 1 Servant I doubt he is jealous 2 Servant He hath reason for if my Lady doth not cuckold him yet she gives the World cause to think she doth for she is never without her Gallants 1 Servant There is a great difference betwixt our Lady that is dead and this Enter Monsieur Malateste Malateste Is my Wife come home yet 1 Servant No Sir Malateste I think it be about twelve of the Clock 1 Servant It is past one Sir Malateste If it be so late I will sit up no longer watching for my Wives coming
visit me first Parrot Because I know no reason but that he should visit me before you Minion Why my place is before yours Parrot But the love and esteem I have for him is to be preferr'd before your place Minion How do you know but that I have as much Affection for him as you have And I am sure I have and more Parrot Don't you believe her Sir Henry Courtly for 'faith she said but even now that you were the veriest Whoremaster in all the Town and cry'd Out upon you Minion And she said she would forbear the Lady Gravitie's company by reason you did visit her which was scandalous Parrot What do you betray me in your own house when you said the same and if I be not mistaken before me Minion If you tell what I say I will tell what you say Courtly Ladies whatsoever you have said or will say of me I shall take it well for it is an honour to be mentioned by fair Ladies although in the severest sense or manner or sharpest words Parrot What do you take her part against me Minion No no I perceive well enough that he takes your part against me for which he is a most unworthy man Parrot No he partially takes your part which is base Courtly I will assure you Ladies it is not my nature or disposition to delight in your displeasures but my desire is to please all your Sex and I indeavour in my practice and behaviour to that end wherefore if I cannot please it is not my fault Minion So you make us Women strange creatures as not to be pleased Courtly No Madam men want those excellent Abilities or good Fortunes which should or could please you Parrot Faith Madam he will have much to do to desend himself against us both Minion Nay if you will joyn with me we shall be too hard for him Parrot That I will and help to beat him with Arguments Courtly For fear I should argue my self more out of your favours than I am already I will take my leave of your Ladyships for this time They both follow him and say nay stay slay Exeunt Scene 13. Enter the Lady Prudence and the Courtier They take their places and the Assembly about them COurtier Lady you are the Sun of Beauty from whence all your Sex receive a light which without that would sit in darkness you only give them lustre you are the only Godess men adore and those men which do not so if any such men be they are damned to censure As for my self Ladies have judged me handsom and for my persons sake have given me favours nay they have wooed my love with great Expences maintained my Vanities and paid my Debts ruin'd their own and Husbands Honour and Estate and all for love of me yet do I sue to you with great Humility though many of your Sex have courted me and let me tell you fair Lady that Courtiers Wives have freer Access to Masks Plays Balls and Courtly Pleasures than other Ladies have who beg and strive and often are beaten back in rude disgrace All which fair Lady if you summ up right You 'l find a Courtiers Wife hath most delight Prudence Fair Sir could Person Courtship Garb or Habit win my love you should nor could not be deny'd But since my Affection is not to be won by any outward Form or Courtly Grace I cannot grant your sute besides the lives that Courtiers live agree not with my humour for I had rather travel to my Grave with ease than inconveniently Progress about tiring my body out lying in nasty lodgings feeding on ill drest meat that 's got by scrambling but at the best a Courtiers life to me is most unpleasant to sit up late at Masks and Plays to dance my time away in Balls to watch for Grace and favour and receive none to gape for Preferments Offices and Honours but get none to waste my Estate with Fees Gifts and Braveries to run in debt prodigally to receive Courtships privately to talk loud foolishly to betray friendship secretly to profess friendship commonly to promise readily to perform slowly to flatter grosly to be affected apishly no Prudent Brain or Noble Heart would interweave the thred of life with such vain Follies and unnecessary Troubles besides I had rather be Mistris of my own House were it a Cottage poor than serve the Gods if Gods were like to men Exeunt Scene 14. Enter Mistris Parle and Mistris Vanity VAnity My dear Comrade what thinkst thou will the Gentleman we met at Madam Gravities lodging marry me think you Parle I know not Vanity I verily believe he will Parle What reason have you to believe he will Vanity A very good reason which is he look'd upon me two or three times and at one time very stedfastly Parle If a man should marry all the women he looks on he will have more Wives than Solomon and the great Turk adding the number of their Concubines But the more earnestly the Gentleman look'd on you the greater sign he thought not of you for thoughts are buried in fix'd eyes Vanity You speak out of spight because I am thought handsomer than you Parle I had rather your Beauty should lie in your own others thoughts than it should be visible to the view of the World or to be inthrown on a multitude of Praises but howoever I am not spightful and therefore pray think not so for telling you my opinion of your no-lover Vanity You love your Jest better than your Friend Parle That 's an old saying but I love a plain truth better than a flattering lye Exeunt Scene 15. Enter the Lady Prudence and the Bashful Suter and his Friend Mr. Spokesman and the Assembly The Suter makes two or three legs wipes his lips and blows his nose with his handkerchief hems twice or thrice and trembling begins to speak BAshfull Suter Madam Madam Madam This Scene the Lord Marquiss writ Prudence Speak Sir what is 't you would say Spokesman Madam his Love and Modesty doth check his speech Prudence Then speak you for him His Friend goes and stands behind him and speaks the dumb Gentleman the while acts his Speech Spokesman Madam your Presence with you sparkling Eyes Hath dazel'd him and struck him dumb with Love Like to a bottle too much fill'd I doubt Though 's mouth 's turn'd downward nothing will come out Or like a Bag-pudding in love he 's curst So stuff'd so swell'd and yet he cannot burst Or like a glass with Spirits of high price No drop can fall when 't is congeal'd to Ice Sweet Lady thaw him then take him apart And then his Tongue will tell you all his Heart And gush it forth with more force far than those Who dribble all their love away in Prose Prudence I 'm all for Publick Wooing so no stain Upon my Reputation will remain With a dumb Husbands curse I 'll ne'r be caught But a dumb Wife a blessing may be
will come a wooing to me therefore I desire thee to instruct me how I shall receive his Addresses Parle Do you know who he is Trifle No Parle Nor where he dwells Trifle No Parle Nor from whence he came nor whither he will go Trifle No Parle What makes you think he will be a Suter to you then Trifle Because he comes so often thorough our street and by our door and hath look'd up to my Chamber-window and these are sufficient Reasons to believe it for you may be sure he comes thorough our street for my sake Parle Truly I know not what counsel to give you but as occasion shall offer it self I shall think of you Trifle Prethee do but I am in haste and therefore cannot stay with you any longer wherefore farewel Exit Enter Mistris Fondly Fondly O my sweet Parle I was told thou wert not at Home and I have been at all my Acquaintances Louses to seek thee out to tell thee a secret Parle What secret Fondly Why there hath been a Gentleman this day at my Fathers house to Treat with my Father about marying me and when I marry I 'll bid thee to my Wedding Parle You must bid me before you are maried if you will invite me to your Wedding Fondly Yes so I will I 'll warrant thee for I will not forget thee of all my Acquaintance But prethee tell me what my Wedding-Gown shall be of Parle Of white Sattin or cloth of Silver But of what quality is the person whom you shall marry Fondly I cannot tell Parle What Estate hath he Fondly I know not Parle How often hath he been with your Father Fondly He never was with my Father before this morning Parle Hath your Father concluded the match with him Fondly I cannot tell Parle Hath your Father spoke to you of him Fondly No Parle Then how came you to know he came to Treat of Mariage Fondly My Fathers man told me he thought the Gentleman came about such a business because my Father and he were very earnest in their Discourse and in private Parle If you know no more perchance it is about some other business Fondly It cannot be about any thing else because they were earnest and private Parle Perchance it was about borrowing of money and borrowers use to be earnest and desire their desires may not be known wherefore they draw aside and whisper out their wants Fondly No no I am confident it was about me Parle I wish you may do well Fondly I thank thee for thy good wishes and I hope he will prove a good Husband Exeunt Scene 19. Enter the Lady Prudence and the Lawyer They take their places and the Assembly about them LAwyer Madam although there is a certain and set Form of making Deeds Wills and Leafes and a Form of Mariage yet I know no certain nor set form of VVooing but every one wooes after what manner or form he pleases or thinks best having no set rules to wooe by But I am come here to wooe and so to plead my own cause at the Bar of Affection and you as the Judge are to give the Sentence and to determine the Sute But as all other Judges are to be free from partiality or self-interest as neither to be overswayed with either fear pity love or covetousness or the like yet such a Judge as you and in the like Causes as mine may have the freedome of partiality or self-interest wherefore if no other plea can perswade you take me for pity for I am miserably in Love manacled in Cupids Fetters bound with his Bow-strings and wounded with his golden Arrows from which nothing but your favour and compassionate sentence can release me otherwise I must lie under the Arrest of a wretched life till such time as Death set me free or cast me into Oblivion Prudence VVorthy Sir as there is no certain nor set form of wooing so there is no certain nor set form for the wooed to give a direct Answer And though pity may move a Judge to give a favourable sentence yet there is no Judge will or ought to make himself a slave to set a prisoner free but if such a chance should be it must be by a stronger motive or passion than pity to make them yield up their liberty And Mariage is a bondage especially when as Sympathy doth not match the pair and if Cupid hath wounded you with his golden Arrows he hath shot me with those that are headed with lead from which wounds proceed nothing but cold denials But howsoever I shall give you part of your desires which is I shall pity you although I cannot perswade my Affections to love you so much as to consent to marry you Exeunt Scene 20. Enter Sir Henry Courtly and his Wife the Lady Jealousie LAdy Iealous Husband I hear you have a Mistriss but I do not wonder at it for you have taught me although not by the former yet by your present practice to foresee the future event First our loves have grown to their full maturity and therefore in Nature as Vegetables must shed their leaves or like Animals at such a growth their strength decays and in old age dyes thus we may guesse by Natures Revolution the revolution of our love though at first we could not dream but we must discover our dreams to each other and whatsoever we had heard or seen in each others absence when we met we recounted to each other each object and repeated each subject and discourses that our Senses had presented to our knowledge and not only what our Senses had presented but what our Conception had conceived or our Imaginations had created Also we took delight to confer in our Houshold Affairs and we were unquiet uneasie and restless until we met and had discoursed thus unto each other and if either of us had been sick or had perceived the least distemper in each others health our grief was exprest by our tears and by our sighs which from our Hearts did rise and flow'd with grief which poured through our eyes But now we begin to cast shadows of dissimulation which shews our love is in an Ecclipse and from a pretence of the confidence and assurance we have of each other we begin to be careless of each others discourse or action giving our selves freedom and liberty to wander not only from our Home-affairs but from our profest Affections to seek for pleasures and delights abroad and only a seeming affection and delight remains at home And thus by a juggling deceit and false-glac'd love we shall in the discovery become enemies and by a seeming wisedom we shall become fools and our follies as well as our crimes will destroy the unity of Love and the peace of Matrimonial Government And though we should not break out into open War yet we shall live factious and our servants will be as Commoners siding with each Party But it seems your Mistris hath learn'd your mind so
purse nor sheath'd my sword from helping the distress'd nor turn'd my back upon my assaulting Enemy I never stole good Fame nor rob'd good Names nor stab'd Innocency with slander I never scorn'd those below my self nor envy'd those above me I never infring'd the Laws of Honour nor disturb'd civil Society and though I cannot suffer an injury patiently yet I never did omit a duty willingly As for the truth of what I say I have none to witness for me as being a stranger but my own words from which this company perchance may think self-love and great desire hath brib'd my Tongue but if they do their thoughts make Truth no less no more than Eyes that are blind Ears that are deaf can rob you of your Wit and Beauty for though your Wit they do not hear nor Beauty see yet you passess them no less their want only robs you of their Admiration not of the Possession and say I am blind of one eye my other eye doth see and I have Hearing perfectly which doth inform my Knowledge and Understanding with that which makes my Admirations and Adorations perfect and sound within my Heart wherein your Picture is printed on which my Soul doth view and gazing kneels with wonder and astonishment that so much Wit Wisedom and Virtue should be in one so young fair And if you cannot love me despise me not for my pure Love is Divine as being divinely placed on you and it would grieve my Soul to have the zealous fire and immaculate flame of my Affection extinguish'd with your neglecting Thoughts and rak'd up in the ashes of your Forgetfulness But if any of my Sex shall seem to jest or scorn me for my outward form or shape My Courage and my Sword shall take my bodies part To cut their Limbs or thrust them through their Heart Prudence Worthy Sir you must excuse me from answering you at this time for I am taken on the sudden very sick Strange Wooer I wish you health although it were to be only purchas'd by my death Exeunt Scene 24. Enter Mistris Trifle and a Grave Matron MAtron What is the cause you weep Trifle Because my Father will not get me a Husband and Mistris Fondly will have a Husband before I shall have one for I hear she is to be maried she is happier in her Parents than I am for my Parents are unnatural and take no care how to get me a Husband and to see me maried Matron You may marry soon enough to repent Trifle I am sure I shall not repent for to be a Wife is a condition I am most desirous of and cannot be happy any other way Matron And Wives think Maids only happy because they are not vex'd nor troubled with a Husband Trifle Such women deserve no Husbands for certainly a Husband is a joy and a comfort as being a companion and a friend Matron But Husbands seldome keep in the company of their Wives and many times instead of a friend prove an enemy Enter a Servant Trifle What have you been at Mistris Fondly's House Servant Yes Trifle And have you inquir'd of her Maid as I bid you whether the Report is true that her Mistris is to be maried Servant Yes Trifle And what said she Servant She said that a Gentleman did Treat with her Mistrisses Father but they could not agree for the Gentleman would have more portion than her Father would give whereupon the Match is broke off Trifle I am glad of that for I would not have her maried before me for all the World But did you not see mistris Fondly Servant No for her Maid said her Mistris at the breaking off her Mariage almost broke her heart for she hath so afflicted her self and hath so wept and sigh'd as she is fallen sick and keeps her Chamber Trifle Alas good Friend I pity her extremely but I will go with her and try if I can comfort her Exeunt Scene 25. Enter the Lady Prudence to give her Answer to her Suter the Stranger The Assembly standing about the Lady and Suter take their places PRudence Noble Sir the Wit wherewith Nature Time and Education hath endu'd my tender brains is like new kindled fire that sparkling flies about the fuel being green and newly laid to burn there is more smoke than flame But since the time I heard you speak a newer fire is kindled in my Heart which equally doth burn with your profess'd Affections and though your Person is none of Natures exactest Peeces yet your Mind doth seem to be compos'd with all her best Ingredients and sure your Thoughts set notes of Honour Honestly and Love by which your Tongue plays Harmony 'T is not the sattin Skin that 's painted white and red nor near-carv'd Bodies can win my Love nor Wealth Titles Birth nor crown'd Power but Truth Sincerity Constancy Justice Prudence Courage and Temperance by which as Magistrates your life seems to be governed which life I wish the Gods may Crown with happy days and in Fames Tower long live your praise I will not ask you from whence you came nor what you are For though you seem but poor and mean Your Soul appears to me sublime Stranger And will you chuse me for your Husband Lady Prudence I shall be proud to be your Wife Sir Stranger The Gods are just to my pure Love rewarding it with your acceptance but I must beg your leave for some short time of Absence and then I shall return and claim your Promise Prudence You have the liberty Sir Exit Strange Wooer The Lady Gravity speaks to the Lady Prudence Gravity Lady surely you are in a High Feaver Prudence Why Madam Gravity As to do so extravagant an Action as to marry a man you know not what he is nor from whence he came and may prove as deformed in Mind as in Body as mean of Birth as poor in Parse as beggars that live on cold dry Charity Prudence If he be poor my Estate will make him rich if humbly born his Merits make him Honourable from whence he comes I do not care and where he will have me go I will wait upon him never questioning to what place Exit Lady Prudence Gravity Her Courage is beyond her Wit Liberty For the Example of this Lady I would have a Law made that there should be no more Publick Wooing Parle She hath cast away her self Minion Who can help it The Assembly go out holding up their hands as at a wonder Scene 26. Enter the Lady Mute as being in a melancholy Humour Enter Sir William Holdfast as meeting her HOldfast Lady why seem you so melancholy Mute My melancholy disposition is apt to catch hold on my evil Fortunes and both joyning together help to multiply my sad thoughts Holdfast Why should you be sad Mute How can I be merry when I am left destitute of Friends and unacquainted with Experience Holdfast Nature hath furnish'd you with all store you need none Mute If she
follies I commit are not by Nature born nor yet by Education bred in me Holdfast Sweet Mistris you can no more be guilty of a fault than Angels in Ioves Mansion Fare you well Sir Thomas Letgo the Lady Liberty will counterpoize your losses Sir William Holdfast goes out leading forth his Mistris the Lady Mute whereat Sir Thomas Letgo frowns Liberty Let her go Sir Thomas Letgo for if she be not a Fool for certain she is wanton or otherwise she would not be so well pleas'd with change Letgo He hath affronted me Sir Thomas goes out frowning The company speak to the Lady Liberty 1 Gent. There is no change so visible as the most opposite but Sir Thomas Letgo is both troubled and angry wherefore Lady Liberty you had best try to pacifie him Liberty He is like little children which despise what they have but cry when they are taken from them Exeunt Scene 38. Enter Mistris Parle Mistris Trifle Mistris Vanity and a Matron PArle Ha ha ha prethee teach me something to keep in laughter or I shall disgrace my self for ever Matron Are you so loosly set together that you cannot hold Parle No I shall burst out laughter at this ridiculous Wedding before all the Bridal Company and so be thought rude Matron If you burst out nothing else the company will excuse you for Weddings are compos'd of mirth and jollity and every one hath liberty and leave to sport and play to dance and skip about Parle But if the Bridegroom limping should come to take me out to dance I shall laugh in his face which he will take as an Affront and then will kick me with his wooden stump Matron O no he seems too wise to take Exception and too civil to kick a Lady he will rather kiss you than kick you Parle I had rather he should kick me thrice than kiss me once by Iupiter I would not be his Bride to be the Empress of the whole World Matron It is probable nor he your Bridegroom Enter Mistris Fondly Fondly Come away the Bride is going to bed and you stand talking here Parle To bed say you If I were she I would first choose to go to my Grave Hymen and Cupid bless me from such a bed-fellow as the Bridegroom Trifle Prethee let us watch to see if we can descry whether he hath cloven feet or not Parle Should he have no Cloven Feet yet certainly the Original of his shape came from Hell for surely he was begot by the Devil on some witch or another and his Cloaths were spun by the Devils Dam Vanity The truth is he hath damnable old cloaths on they seem as if they were made of old rags scrap'd out of dunghils Matron I perceive Ladies you prefer Beauty and Cloaths before Virtue and Merit Parle 'Faith Virtue is too rigid to be belov'd and Merit is but an incorporeal Spirit and an incorporeal Spirit is no good bed-fellow Trifle Wherefore I would have a Handsome Personable Fashionable Courtly man Fondly Nay if I could have my wish I would wish for more than one man The young Ladies go out The Grave Matron alone Matron The truth is that one man would have too much by either of those Ladies Exeunt Scene 39. Enter Sir Thomas Letgo and the Lady Liberty Letgo Was it not enough to win but to affront me with my losses Liberty Its true they say Losers have only leave to speak but Winners may be merry Letgo Was there no subject for his mirth but I Enter Sir William Holdfast and his Mistris the Lady Mute Letgo You are a false cheating fellow Holdfast You are a base lying Villain for saying so Letgo You have cozen'd me of my Mistris and I will have her again Holdfast I have won her fairly and honestly and I will keep her with my Life They both draw and fight Mute runs to Sir William Holdfast and cries out Mute For Heaven-sake leave off to sight for me I am not worth the life you hazard for me He speaks while he fights Holdfast Sweet Mistris fear not Death hath no power on me so long as you stand by They fight still Mute O let my sad complaints like murmuring Rivers flow thorough your Ears that running into your Heart may move it to a gentle pity Enter company and parts them Liberty You should have let them fight to see whether Portune hath the same power on their Swords as she hath on the Dice whether she can dispose of Life and Death as of Honour and Riches Letgo You may part us now but we shall meet again Sir Thomas and the company go out only Sir William and the Lady Mute stays The Lady Mute weeps Holdfast My dear Mistris what makes your eyes to flow Mute As my tears flow thorough my eyes so I wish my life may flow thorough my tears then might you live in safety Holdfast Let not your love to me make waste of such Tears that every drop might save a Life nay save a Soul they are so pure and penetrating But your fears doe apprehend my Foe more dangerous than he is Exeunt ACT V. Scene 40. A Bed is thrust on the Stage as presenting the Bride-chamber the Bride being in the Bed finely drest and a company of young Ladies her Companions about her TRifle 'Faith confess to us your Maiden-companions do not you repent Prudence So fat am I from repentance as I should repent were I not as now I am Vanity You will repent before seven years Parle Seven years you mean seven days for seven years to our Sex is seven Ages for Maids and Widows account it so before their mariage and maried Wives do account time so until their Husbands die Fondly 'Faith I think there are few women but when they marry hope to be Widows Parle That 's certain and were it not for such hopes men would hardly get Wives Enter the Bridegroom and a company of Gentlemen and Knights then enters a servant with a rich night-gown or Mantle another servant with a rich Cap Waste-coat and Slippers Then the Bridegroom first pulls off his patch from his Eye then pulls off his bumbast Doublet and then his wooden Leg and his snarled Periwig having a fine head of hair of his own then puts on his wastcoat cap slippers and night-gown he then appearing very handsome the company staring upon him the mean time they as in amazement He speaks to the Ladies Bridegroom Fair Ladies as other men strive to adorn themselves to mend their broken Bodies and patch up their decays with false and feigned shews to cozen credulous women that think them such as they appear when they abuse your sweet gentle natures But lest my Wife should think me better than I am or expect more than I could give her I formed my self far worse than Nature made me nor have I promised more than well I can perform And if she lov'd me crooked lame and blind Now I am perfect she 'll
with their hats off he leading in the Bride his Princess and a great many Ladies waiting on her The Prince and Princess sit in two Chairs and the rest of the company on each side of them to see an Anti mask presented to them When the Antick-maskers had danced a Song was sung These Songs following the Lord Marquiss writ Song VErtue and Honour you did take And Beauty scorn'd as vading Thus you a Godess it doth make Rove mortal Ladies trading They love the Body you the Soul They Shape but you the Mind Your Love those grosser loves controll Which shews their Love is blind His wooden Leg is thrown away The black Patch for the blind The Bunch on 's back asswag'd to day As hansome as his Mind This now is your reward Sweet Madam The Gods they are not lath To give you one handsome as Adam And thus enjoy them both Then the Maskers dance again and after their Dance another Song Song Loves Miracles not ceased be The Lame to walk the Blind to see The Crooked is made straight 't is true And these Loves Wonders made by you His Body metamorphos'd is By your Ambrosia sweeter kiss Such power hath Love when you do sip The Gods pure Nectar from your Lip All Ioys attend you night and day Be each to other fresh as May Renewing pleasures every hour And sweeter than the sweetest Flower The Maskers dance again and after another Song Song Envious Ladies now repine Since you are crost In having lost A Prince so handsome and so fine Mourn in black patches for your sins Despair each Curl And every Purl And throw away your dressing-pins Lay by your richer Gowns of State For now you 'l faint For all your paint When think of your unhappier Fate For these Love-pitfals they are stale And all despise Your glancing Eyes For all forc'd Arts in Love they 'l fail Now let your specious gliding pass Or your Lips fed With biting red Despair and break each Looking-glass Here ends my Lord Marquis his writing Then the Maskers dance again and so goe out the Prince and Princess and the Company goes out all but a Matron and some young Ladies who stay and look upon each other very sadly without speaking to each other Matron What Ladies are you Thunder-struck with the Princes Honour or are you blasted with the Lightning of his Splendor or crush'd with the wheel of her good Fortune Parle Lord Lord how blindly Fortune throws her gifts away Matron One would think she had clear Eyes when she bestow'd her Favours upon the Princess Vanity She is become so proud since she is become a Princess as she will not look on us that were her companions and she thinks scorn to speak to us for she said not one word to any of us Matron She had no occasion to speak to you but I am confident If you speak to her you will find her as civil and obliging as ever she was Fondly 'Faith we care not for we can live without being oblig'd to her Parle They are not the happiest that have the greatest Titles Trifle Pride will have a Fall Matron I perceive it is hand to get the good opinion of the World for you rail'd at her Course laugh'd at her Choise condemn'd her Mariage and now you envy her good Success Parle We envy her you are mistaken for she must be of greater value and we less worthy than we are to raise an Envy Matron Nay Ladies if you are angry I will leave you Parle Then we shall be rid of a pratling fool Exit Matron Enter three or four old Ladies the Mothers to the young Ladies 1 Old Lady O wisedome in youth is a wonder 2 Old Lady Happy is that Parent that hath a discreet Child 3 Old Lady Such Children give their Parents Honour in their Graves 4 Old Lady Pray let us Petition that a Law may be Enacted for this Publick Wooing 1 Old Lady We shall not need to Petition for the Princess I dare warrant you will get the Prince to Enact a Law for this Publick Wooing for her Fame she being the only first that hath been wooed so So they all speak together Old Ladies Well Daughters make her your Pattern Exeunt Old Ladies Trifle Yesterday that was the Wedding-day my Parents did condemn the Bride calling her Fool and saying she was mad and forbid me to imitate her Parle 'T is no wonder our Natures are so various when as our Education are so inconstant for we are instructed to imitate Fortune which is to be restless and to spoil that good we have done Vanity Or to better the worse Parle No 'faith for I perceive Fortune hath more power to do hurt than good for Fortune ruines or at least disturbs Virtuous Acts and frustrates Wisedom's Counsels Enter a Messenger Messenger Ladies the Princess desires your company to dance Parle Pray excuse me Sir for I have so great a pain on my left side as I can hardly fetch my breath Vanity And I have such a pain in my head as I dare not dance for fear it should ake more Trifle And truly I have so streight a shooe as it is a pain for me to tread a step Fondly And I am not well in my stomach wherefore excuse us Sir to the Princess Exeunt Scene 44. Enter the Lady Parrot and the Lady Minion and the Lady Gosling PArrot God give you Joy I have not seen you since you were maried Minion You are welcome into the maried Society Gosling I thank you Madam Truly I am so tyr'd Parrot With what Madam Gosling With helping my Neighbour the Lady Breeder to hold her back Minion VVhy is she in Labour Gosling She is brought to Bed but on my word she hath had a hard bargain for she hath had a sore Labour Parrot VVhat hath God sent her Gosling A lusty boy Indeed it is one of the goodliest children that ever I saw Minion But how chance she did not send for me to her Labour Gosling She came on such a sudden as she had hardly Time to send for the Midwife but she was mightily troubled you were not there she doubts you will take it ill Parrot We have reason for if we could not have come time enough to her Labour we might have come time enough to the cup of Rejoycing Gosling But she will bid you to the Christening Minion That 's some amends But this hard labour of the Lady Breeders will fright you Gosling No for I have as much courage as other maried Wives have though truly Sir Anthony Gosling my Husband was very loth I should goe for said he to me prethee sweet Duck do not go I answer'd and said to him my honey-hony-love I must go for it is the part of one wife to help another besides a gossipping company doth help to ease the womens pains and if I go not to their Labour they will not come to mine Minion Why are you with Child Gosling No but I
service to you Sir Cuckold Sir I am your most humble Servant and shall strive by all the ways I can to appear worthy your favours The Ladies speak familiarly Wanton Lord Lady Procurer how are you drest to day in a most careless fashion Procurer It is the mode it is the mode to go undrest Cuckold Wife this is not a fit room to entertain this noble Gentleman Sir will you be pleas'd to walk into another room Amorous All rooms are fine Sir where you and your Virtuous Lady are Exeunt Sir Thomas Cuckold and Monsieur Amorous Procurer 'Faith if I had not come running in before your Husband he had catch'd you Lady Wanton claps the Lady Procurer on the cloaths VVanton 'Faith Procurer thou art such another Lady-wag as all the Town cannot match thee Procurer I was I was but now I am grown old I am grown old but I was born to do good Offices Exeunt Scene 34. Enter two Maids of the Lady Poverty 's 1 MAid I wonder my Lady is able to stay in the room with my Master his vomiting hath so fumed the room as there is such a stink that by my troth I am almost strangled with the smell of the corrupted drink 2 Maid Alas poor Lady she is forc'd to stay for fear he should be outragious in his drunken humour for if she stirs or speaks he swears as if he would draw the Devils out of Hell 1 Maid Hell is not so bad as to be where he is now he is drunk Enter another Maid 3 Maid My Master is asleep and my Lady would have you make lesse noise and not to talk so loud for fear you should awake him 1 Maid If he be asleep we may make what noise we will or can make he will not wake until such time as the fume or vapour of wine be out of his head no sound can enter But I wonder my Lady will take such care of him when he hath no respect to her but transforms himself from man to beast every day indeed she sees him only a beast not a man for before he is wholy sober he rises to go to a Tavern to be drunk again 2 Maid If my Master transforms himself into a beast ere that he comes to my Lady he imitates Iove for he transform'd himself into a Bull for the sake of fair Europa 1 Maid But not into a drunken roaring Bull as my Master is 3 Maid 'Faith if I were my Lady I would hold by his Horns and then let him roar and drink and whore as much as he will 1 Maid Yes so she might chance to be drench'd in a Bathing-tub as Europa in the Sea Exeunt Scene 35. Enter Nan the Lady Jealousies Chamber-maid and her Master Sir Henry Courtly meets her and kisses her Enter the Lady Jealousie and sees him LAdy Iealousie So Husband I perceive Nan is in your favour Nan runs out of the room Courtly 'Faith Wife Nan is a careful and industrious Wench for she strives to serve us both for she makes you candles and feeds me with kisses Lady Iealousie Or rather Husband you feed Nan and Nan feeds me Courtly Faith the truth is I need you both Lady Iealousie But Nan hath the greatest share that makes her so proud and I so sickly But since you are so liberal to her and so sparing to me I will board elsewhere and so as I may carve where I like best Courtly Sure Wife you will not Lady Iealousie Surely Husband I will do my endeavour Courtly What to be a Whore Lady Iealousie Yes if being a whore will make you a Cuckold Exeunt Scene 36. Enter the Lady Hypocondria and her Maid LAdy Hypocondria My Husband hath been a long time abroad pray Iove he be safe if he should chance to have a quarrel and fight a hundred to one but he is killd for otherwise he would have come home do you think he is well Ioan Maid You need not fear for my master is of so civil a behaviour and of so sweet a disposition as he can have no enemies Lady Hypocon. O But he is a man that is very valiant and one that is very sensible of disgrace and affronts Maid Truly I believe you have no reason to fear Lady Hypocon. Do you but believe so nay then you doubt and therefore I know he is kill'd and I will go and find out the murtherer and kill him my self The Lady Hypocondria offers to run out of the room as in a frighted passion the maid stops her Maid My Noble Lady do not run in this passion for all the idle men and women and boyes and girles will run after you as thinking you mad for they make no difference betwixt melancholy and madnesse Lady Hypocon. I am not able to overcome this fear I shall die Maid Pray stay and send out one of our men to inquire where he is Lady Hypocon. Call Roger Trusty The Maid goes out The Lady alone Lady Hypocon. O You defendant Gods assist my Husband Enter Joan and Roger Trusty Lady Hypocon. Trusty go presently and seek out your master and bring me word where he is and how he doth and be sure if you see a grim look't fellow near him that you stir not from your Master but wait upon him home for fear some trechery should beset him Trusty Who shall bring you word of his health or sicknesse life or death Lady Hypocon. Death do you say O you have heard he is kill'd Trusty By Pluto I have heard no such thing Lady Hypocon. Why do you talk of death then Trusty Because you send me to know whether he be dead or alive Lady Hypocon. That is true wherefore let one of the Foot-boyes go along with you to bring me an answer but be sure you stay with your Master Trusty I shall Lady Hypocon. Make all the haste you can to find him Exeunt Scene 37. Enter Sir Henry Sage and the Lady Chastity SIr Hen. Sage Is the Lady Procurer a Baud say you Lady Chastity A perfect one I think for she pleaded as earnestly as Lawyers for a fee Sir Hen. Sage No doubt but she hath as much reason for sure she doth it for gain not out of love to wicked basenesse but I believe poverty perswades her or rather inforces her Chastity No surely it is an inborn or at least an inbred baseness for neither death nor torments can inforce nor riches nor preferrments allure a noble mind to such base acts but some are so unworthy or rather wicked as to delight to intice and to pervert all they can get acquaintance with Sir Hen. Sage And some doe it to hide their own faults thinking to bury them under the vices of others or smother them in the presse of a multitude but let me advise you not to entertain her company any more Chastity I believe she will not visit me again Exeunt Scene 38. Enter the Lady Sprightly and one of her women LAdy Sprightly Lord Lord this nasty
love or rather this beastly lust that doth corrupt all good manners as gentle civility free society lawfull recreations honest friendship natural affections it cuts off the feet of obedience it breaks the knees of duty it wounds the breast of fidelity it pulls out the heart of loyalty it turns away prudence it banishes temperance and murthers justice it breaks peace and makes warrs and turns arms into petticoats O sweet pure Chastity how amiable thou art how beautifull thou appearst in women how heroick in men for Chast women have such innocent thoughts such pure clean clear white immaculate minds such modest countenances such gentle behaviour such civil discourses such noble actions such discreet entertainments such cautionarie recreations otherwise they are bold impudent rude flanting ranting romping women also Chastity in men makes them heroick for propriety justice constancy and natural and honest love is the basis pillars or foundation whereon true valour is built when amorous affections make men effeminate causing them to cast away their hard iron arms to lie in the soft arms of beauty and stops their cares from loud alarums with charming notes of Musick it takes them from being masters of themselves and others and makes them become servants and slaves from commanding an Army to be commanded by single women by whom he is checkt like a school-boy lead like a dog in a string as after his mistrisses humours her frowns make him crouch like a cur her smiles make him skip and make face like a Jack anapes and their beastly appetites make them so rude and wilde as they regard no civility of behaviour no gentleness of disposition no constancy of affection they keep no friendship constancy or vowes they break all decent customs and disobey all honest laws but this is a theam too wilde to be preacht on Gentlewoman Why Madam my Lord your father may be a very chast man although he lieth with his maid if he hath made her his wife before he made her his bedfellow Lady Sprightly His wife he scorns the thought and hates the act Gentlewoman Pardon me Madam if I offer to lay a wager of it Lady Sprightly Are you so confident that you dare lay a wager Gentlewoman If you inquire more I believe you will find it to be true Exeunt ACT V. Scene 39. Enter the Lady Chastity and her woman gives her a letter Lady reads the Letter LAdy Chastity Who brought this letter Woman A kind of a Gentleman servingman Chastity Pray receive no more letters from that man Woman He said he would come in the evening to receive an answer Chastity If he comes tell him it needs no answer Enter Sir Henry Sage Chastity Husband will you read a Love letter Sir Hen. Sage From whence comes it and to whom is it sent Chastity You will soon find from whence it comes and to whom it is sent He reads it Sir Hen. Sage So wife I perceive I am in danger to be made a Cuckold Chastity Doth the letter beget your faith to that opinion Sir Hen. Sage But the praises and professions this letter brings you raises scruples and those scruples beget controversies and those controversies may in time make a convert Chastity Rather a pervert Husband but be you constant and I will warrant you safe Sir Hen. Sage But Youth and Beauty wife when they plead are greater Bawds and have a more perswasive power than the Lady Procurer Chastity Truly all three as Beauty Youth or the Lady Procurer rather than perswade me would divert me had I a wanton nature as first for the Lady Procurer her baseness appeared such as made me hate my self for being of the same sex she was of and grieved me to see the follies of mankind the one appearing like a Devil the other like a beast so seem'd the Lover and the Bawd when men have Reason to govern as much as Appetite to perswade the one proceeding from the Soul the other from the body besides Virtue is the Natural Complexion of the Soul not Vice for Vice is bred not born in man As for Youth it is so fantastical extravagant wilde and self-opinionated doing such ridiculous Actions putting themselves into such affected Postures as I might be as soon enamour'd with a Jack-anapes Besides the discourses of Youth are so flashy as it gives the hearers no relish and their Judgment is so shallow and their Understanding so mysty as when Reason discourses with them it is apt to be lost in the darkness of Ignorance Lastly for Beauty in men it is worse than unhansomeness in women for an ill-favour'd woman seems masculine as if she had an Heroick Spirit though she were a Coward to have a judicious Understanding though she should be a Fool to be Chaste although she were Wanton when on the contrary a beautiful man appears Effeminate Foolish and Cowardly when perchance he may be Wise and Valiant yet 't is Beauty makes him seem otherwise and for the most part a beautiful man is more nice and curious about his person as in his cloathing dressing trimming perfuming powdering curling and some will pomate and paine themselves all which seems to me preposterous to men insomuch as I could as soon be amorously affected with my own Sex as those that are accounted beautiful men and you might sooner be jealous of Age than Youth with a Sun-burnt face and a wither'd skin than a face that looks as if it had not seen the Sun or the Sun it nor felt the nipping Frost nor parching Wind but I hope you have a better opinion of your self than to be jealous as to think I can like any man better or so well as you And if you have not so good an opinion of me us to believe I am constantly honest yet I have such an assurance of my self as to know I am not liable to be corrupted and I am so Chaste as I have not a thought subject to fully the purity of my chaste Mind and honest Heart Sage I believe you Exeunt Scene 40. Enter Roger Trusty as to his Master Sir VVilliam Lovewell LOvewell What is the matter Roger that you are come Trusty And 't please your Worship my Lady hath sent me to know how your VVorship is in health Lovewell VVhy very well How does she Trusty She 's well but that she 's afraid your VVorship 's kill'd Lovewell If I were kill'd I were past sickness or health But who should kill me Trusty Nay that her Ladyship could not guess Lovewell Return home to your Lady and tell her I shall be with her within an hour Trusty I dare not leave your VVorship for she hath sent me to guard and protect you from all harm and to fight in your quarrel and hath sent one of the Foot-boys to bring her word how your VVorship doth Lovewell Go you and return back and tell your Lady from me that Honesty Civility and Courage is a sufficient Guard and Protection if not then my Sword and my
Love than you want love to give Desert Sage Prethee VVife be not griev'd nor angry for 't is natural for Love to be suspicious wherefore pray forgive my doubts Chastity My nature is to forgive and not to bear a grudge or spleen in minde Sage Then we are friends again Chastity My love is still the same not to be alter'd Exeunt Scene 7. Enter Mistris Single the Lady Jealousies sister and Raillery Jester the Fool MIstris Single Fool How many degrees is there in Understanding Iester Three Single Distinguish them Iester There is a Coelestial Understanding a Terrestrial Understanding and an Understanding betwixt both as an Airestial Understanding Those that are Coelestial are wise men those that are Terrestrial are fools and those that are betwixt both as Airestial are half-witted men Single I thought you would have said that those that were Terrestrial were beasts Iester O no for beasts are one degree above wise men two degrees above half witted men and three degrees above fools Single But how will you make that good that beasts are wiser than wise men Iester By all their actions for beasts for the most part are more industrious prudent temperate and peaceable than the best of men neither do they trouble their heads nor break their sleeps about the trifles of the World but govern their Affairs easily and live orderly every several kind agreeing amongst themselves besides we are taught to imitate the Serpent and the Dove and Examples are Principles and the Original is to be preferr'd before the Copy the Sample before the Pattern Thus a Beast is preferr'd before a Wise man by reason all Men must learn of Beasts to be wise and of Birds to be virtuously honest as to be harmless Exeunt Scene 8. Enter the Lady Hypocondria and her Maid Joan. MAid Ioan. Certainly Madam you will starve your self with eating so little Hypocon. Why a little serves Nature Ioan. Yes but there are great differences betwixt Natures for mankind requires more food than some kind of beasts or birds for a man would be starv'd if he should eat no more than a Dormouse or a Camelion or a Sparrow Hypocon. But a Sparrow cannot eat so much as an Eagle nor an Eagle so much as an Estrich Likewise as it is with Bird-kind so it is with Mankind some would starve with that proportion another would surfet on Ioan. But surely there are none that could surfet with your diet as with Water and Air nay most commonly nothing but Air Camelion-like for you oft times for a week together neither eat bit nor drink a drop and that which makes me wonder more is that you naturally have a very good stomach and can eat when you please very heartily and it thrives well with you but my greater wonder is that when you do fast eating now and then a bit week after week nay moneth after moneth yet you are not so lean as to appear a Skeleton nor so weak but you can walk two hours without resting or being very weary Hypocon. Oh Custome is a second Nature Ioan Ioan. I would have your Ladyship accustome your self to live without eating and then you will be set in a Chronicle Hypocon. Who would strive for that since most think Chronologers are Artificers and that their Chronicles are false Ioan. Why some will believe it and it were better to live in the memory of a few than to die to all memory and to live by nothing Hypocon. I would have my Fame live only by singular and transcending Merits not by singular and melancholy Follies I know my Errors though I cannot mend my Faults Exeunt ACT II. Scene 9. Enter the Lady Procurer and the Lady VVanton PRocurer Well Madam you are to give me thanks for bringing you acquainted with Monsieur Amorous for he is as fine a Gentleman as any our Nation hath Wanton Indeed he is the most obligingst person as ever I met with but pray Madam what said he of me Procurer O he raves in your praise He says you are the finest sweetest fairest and kindest Lady that ever was but did not your Husband examine you when you came home Wanton No 'faith not much some slight questions he ask'd but come into my Chamber and there let us discourse of Monsieur Amorous Exeunt Scene 10. Enter the Lady Jealousie beating her Maid Nan JEalousie I will make you humbler than to give me such unmannerly words What had you to do in my Husbands your Masters Chamber Nan I went to speak with Tom my Masters barber Iealousie What had you to do with your Masters barber I am sure you had no use for him but I will beat you so as you shall not be able to stir much less to go frisking into your Masters Chamber so often as you do Falls a beating her again Nan runs crying from her Lady her Lady follows her Enters Raillery Jester the Fool Fool. What a Volly of words their gun-powder breath and the fire-lock of their anger hath shot into my Ears giving me no warning to baracade them up but hath surprized my brain by their sudden assault and hath blown up the Magazines of my Contemplations but all creatures love to make a noise beasts vocally men verbally and some actually in boysterous deeds Enter Mistris Single Single How now Fool what 's the matter Fool. Why this is the matter fool thy Sister fool hath beaten her Maid fool for kissing her Master fool Single For kissing her Masters fool say you Fool. Nay by'r Lady if she had done so she had been wise for if she had kiss'd me she had not been beaten but she did not kiss me Ergo she 's a fool Exeunt Scene 11. Enter the Lady Hypocondria and Sir VVilliam Lovewell her Husband HYpocondria Husband why seem you so sad Lovewel My love to you makes me sad Hypocondria To me Heaven bless me what do you see in me to make you sad Lovewel Why for these passions and frights that you fall into like one in an Epilepsie and now you look as pale as if you were ready to fall down dead Hypocon. Alas Husband consider it is a timorous effect of Love which is to be pardon'd since it proceeds from the kindness I have to my Friends it is honourable to the World and no dishonour to you but only troublesome to my self and to those I naturally love as Husband Children Father Mother Brothers and Sisters And though fond Love and vain Fears may be produced from the melancholy Spleen yet those fears that proceed from my firm true and honest Affection are created in the Soul for noble and honourable and honest Fears are the natural Issues of pure Love Lovewel But Reason the chief Magistrate of the Soul and Governour of the Passions should temper the Excess Hypocon. O Husband when Love comes to be temper'd it loses or quits the essential part and the vertical strength for true Love is pure like gold which is debased with an allay
Lovewel Rogue that he was that he was that told her who was it Roger Trusty It was I Sir when I went to fetch your Leaguer-cloak to keep you warm Lovewel Villain I 'll run you through Trusty What you please Sir but my Lady takes it very patiently for when she heard of it she was playing on the Lute and did not leave playing at the report Lovewel I am glad she is so discreet Trusty Truly Sir I think my Lady is now one of the wisest and discreetest Ladies in the Town Lovewel What for playing on the Lute Trusty No Sir but for being so patient and temperate as all wise persons are who bear afflictions with that Moral Philosophical Carelesness and as they call it passive Courage composing their Faces into a Grave surly Countenance fashioning their Behaviour with Formality walking with a slow and stately Pace speaking nothing but Wise Sentences and Learned Morals Lovewel You are a moral Ass and although my wounds are but small yet I grow faint with standing to hear a fool talk Exeunt Scene 21. Enter the Lady Inconstant and Monsieur Disguise LAdy Inconst. Sir I believe you may wonder and think it strange that a woman can love a stranger so soon and so much Disguise I doe not think it strange in Nature but I think it strange you should affect me a person which is no way worthy of your Favour and your Love unless you like a Deity humbly descend to mortals accepting of their Adorations and Offerings And as a mortal to a Deity I offer up my Heart on the Altar of your Obligations Inconstant Here I do vow to Venus not only to offer you my person and all delights that it can yield but I offer you my Honour my Fathers Honour my Husbands Honour nay their lives if you require it Disguise I must confess your Husbands life is dangerous for we cannot well enjoy our loves with safety if that your Husband lives Inconstant Name but the way unto his Death and I will execute it Disguise I cannot for you must do it as you find Fortune gives you opportunity Inconstant Farewel and believe I shall let no opportunity slip that might bring my designs to pass The Lady Inconstant goes out Monsieur Disguise alone Disguise My revenge is too big for words all actions to little for his punishment wherefore you furies I invoke you to assist me and if Hell gives me not help Heaven or Death give me ease Exit Scene 22. Enter the Lady Procurer and Monsieur Amorous LAdy Procurer Now Monsieur Amorous you and the Lady Wanton shall not need to make so many excuses to meet for your going into the Country with Sir Thomas Cuckold you will be always in the House with his Lady Amorous Faith I have a great deal of business in the City which may suffer if I should go out of the Town Procurer Out upon you make excuses already Amorous I do not make excuses I only tell you the truth of my affairs Procurer Can you have any affairs greater or of more concernment than waiting on a Mistriss and such a Mistriss as you were a dying for to enjoy but a little time since well go thy ways Monsieur Amorous for thou art like a woman that hath fits of the Mother often swouning and sick but never dyes in any of them Amorous The Lady Chastity would be like a draught of cold water to bring me to life again Procurer Let me tell thee as those fits will never kill thee so all the Chastity in the Town can never cure thee Exeunt Scene 23. Enter the Lady Hypocondria and Joan her Maid LAdy Hypocondria Pray Iuno my Husband doth not perceive I have cry'd Ioan. You need not fear it for the hot Cloath you laid to your eyes hath sok'd out the redness and abated the swelling thereof but I doubt you will cry when you see him Hypocondria I hope I shall be wiser than to cry for I would not have my Husband think me a Fool or troublesome for the world Ioan. But surely Madam you must needs torment your Soul to strive so much against nature Hypocondria Love had rather torment it self then torment what it loves Ioan. Your Ladyship will make the old Proverb good which sayes love overcomes all things and surely it overcomes all when it overcomes nature it self Exeunt Scene 24. Enter the Lady Jealousy and the Fool LAdy Iealousy Prethy Fool watch thy Master and my Maid Nan and when they are together give notice and I will give thee a new Coat Fool. I shall stand Sentinel and give the watch-word The Lady Jealousy goes out The Fool alone Fool. Most Creatures their tails lyes in their heads or their heads lyes in their Neighbours tayles nose to breech for they are always thinking thereof which makes their thoughts as sluts and slovens their brains like to a heapt-up Dunghil but I must watch my Master and his Maid to catch Exeunt Scene 25. Enter Master Makepeace and Master Perswader friend and Chaplain to Sir Humphrey Disagree MAster Makepeace 'T is strange that Sir Humphrey Disagree and his Lady cannot agree yet they are both of good natures and generous Souls keep a noble House and are bountifull to their Servants kind and courteous to their Friends and he a very understanding Gentleman and a learned Scholar and an honest Man Perswader And she is a very Chast Lady a good Huswife and very orderly in her House as concerning what she is to take care of or to direct and is very pious and devout and yet both to be so indiscreet as to fall out about light toys and frivolous matters Makepeace 'T is strange and truly great pitty wherefore we ought to do our indeavour to try if we can make them friends Perswader Surely that might be easily done for they are as apt and as soon friends when their anger 's over as they are apt to fall out when they are friends and I make no doubt to make them friends but the business is to keep them friends and the question is whether it were not better they should be parted friends than present enemies Makepeace Yet we have discharged our parts if we make or do our indeavour to make them friends Perswader Well Sir perswade the Husband and I will try to perswade the Wife Exeunt Scene 26. Enter Monsieur Disguise and Sir Francis Inconstant SIr Francis Inconstant Sir you do amaze me for I have not been so long married as to give her time for Incontinency nor have I been so ill a Husband as yet as to create or beget her hate towards me Disguise Sir if I do not prove it I shall be content to suffer the heaviest punishment you can inflict upon me and because your belief is wavering I will place you where you shall hear her declare her intentions as towards your Death Inconstant I long to prove the Truth Exeunt Scene 27. Enter the Lady Wanton and the Lady
your Sute despises your Person and hates your Humour Amorous Pluto take all your sex Procurer If he should you would whiningly follow them to Hell rather than miss their Company refusing Heaven for effeminate Society Amorous They torment men more than Devils do Exeunt Scene 33. Enter Master Makepeace and Master Perswader MAster Makepeace Now Sir Humphrey Disagree and his Lady are made good friends they are become a loving Couple Perswader Heaven keep them so Makepeace Truly I begin to believe they will for they seem very sensible of their errors and they laugh at their one follies to see what ridiculous frivolous and small matters their quarels are built with and upon Exeunt Enter Sir Humphrey Disagree and his Lady Sir Humphrey Disagree Look you Wife here is the Priest that hath new married us and our friend that hath joyned us in a loving friendship again Lady Disagree And I will celebrate this Union with a Feast to which I will invite my good friends as to my wedding day Humphrey Disagree I perceive we shall be merry pray let us have Fidlers and Dance Lady Disagree That we will Exeunt Scene 34. Enter Sir VVilliam Lovewell upon a Couch as being weak and his Lady following him SIr William Lovewell Come come Wife you are not so kind as you were wont to be for you did use to watch my looks my sleep and how I fetcht my breath in my sleep and what I did eat and how much I did eat for fear I should be sick and no help unsought to cure me But I perceive you are as all other women are inconstant for now you do neglect me and seldom come near me but when I send for you Hypocondria I dare not for fear my diligence may prove loves indiscretion and so my service become a burthensome trouble Enter one of the Men Sir William fought with and beat with a Pistol in his hand the Lady Hypocondria sees him and on the sudden runs to the Man and snatches the Pistol out of his hand the whilst the Man was in amaze at it She Shoots him with his own Pistol the noise of the Pistol brings in the Servants Hypocondria You Cowardly Rogue do you take the advantage of sickness to work your revenge do you come when my Husband is not able to defend himself The Man falls and sayes O I am kill'd Hypocondria Kill'd if you had a thousand lives my single life would kill them all rather than suffer my Husband to be murdered The Servants all the while stand at a distance as being all afrighted Hypocondria You Company of dull dead statues move for shame and bear away this Villain this murderous Villain Servants Where should we carry him Madam Hypocondria Why any where cast him into a Ditch there let him ly and rot like Beasts without Buriall The mean while Sir William Lovewell having recovered his breath which was spent in striving to get up from his Couch but being very weak he could not Lovewell Carry him to a Justice and bid the Justice dispose of him as he thinks fit telling him of his crime Servants Let us search him to see if he hath never another Pistol Lovewell Go you Cowards and carry him away The Servants and Man goes out O this effeminate sickness hath disgraced me O how like a worm a sick man is which lyes so low and is so shiftless that any beast treads out his life Hypocondria Why had you been in health and strength it would have been no Honour to beat a Coward Lovewell He seem'd not such a Coward but that he had some courage or otherwise he would not have adventur'd himself alone into a House wherein were many persons which would have been his Enemies but I am glad that you have the honour of his wounds but it is a miracle to me to see how valiantly you did behave your self and yet by nature is so fearfull Hypocondria Mistake not Love for true Love is only afraid when it cannot help but when it hath hopes to rescue what it loves Mars is not Valianter Lovewell Well Wife I owe my life to your love and I shall account you as Pallas that hath defended me with a prudent courage Hypocondria If you think I have done you service worthy a reward pray give me a request Lovewell That I shall if it be that life you have defended what is it Hypocondria It is to set love free from the Chains of discretion and Jailer of temperance for it is impossible to confine love but either it will dy or break out in revenge Lovewell VVell VVife hereafter I will never oppose loves wayes Exeunt Scene 35. Enter Sir Francis Inconstant and Monsieur Disguise MOnsieur Disguise Sir did you hear what your Lady said Francis Inconstant Yes I heard her say she would poyson me in a mess of broath Disguise VVhat will you do to prevent it Inconstant Leave that care to me I shall be my own Sentinel to discern the aproaching Poyson Sir Francis goes out Monsieur Disguise alone Disguise Their Deaths will be my triumph and my Death a reprieve Exit Scene 36. Enter Monsieur Amorous and the Lady Procurer LAdy Procurer I am come to invite you to a Collation for the Lady Wanton for whom you at first made costly Collations is forced to invite you now to the like Amorous Faith Madam I am so squezy stomacked that the very sight of a Banquet will put me into an Apoplexy as with an obstructed Surfit Procurer If you should deny her you would lose you reputation amongst our Sex for ever Amorous Well I will go upon condition that you carry a message from me to another Lady Procurer Most willingly so it be not to the Lady Chastity Exeunt Scene 37. Enter Mistriss Single and Raillery Jester the Fool MIstriss Single Prethy Fool give me advice as how to choose a Husband Fool. Faith you are wise to take a Fools Counsel for Fools have for the most part best Fortune either in their Counsel or Choice Single Why are Fools Fortunes favourites Fool. Yes for by Fools Fortune plainly shews her power when wise men usurp it striving to take her power from her Single Then Fortune direct thee to direct me Fool. Fortune is giddy and directs by chance which causes so many misfortunes Single Then by your direction I may be unfortunate but I will venture wherefore tell me how to choose Fool. VVhy then you must choose a Husband by the Ear Single By the Eye you mean Fool. No faith those that would be happily match'd must choose a Husband or VVife by the Ear and not by the Eye for though report is oft-times false yet it seldom flatters nay for the most part it is so far from giving merit its due Praises as it detracts therefrom Single But Fortune carries worthless men upon the tongue of fame Fool. 'T is true but Fortune being giddy is apt to stagger and so to stumble and oft-times flings those worthless men
Disagree No pray Husband let them alone a little while longer Humphrey Disagree If you keep them out untill our Stomacks be full we shall be so dull and heavy with the vapour of the meat as it will not be in the power of Musick to move our minds to mirth or so drunk with VVine as the Musick will make us mad Lady Disagree I hope you will not be mad before you are drunk Humphrey Disagree No VVife I will be merry before I am drunk wherefore Servants call them in She speaks as to the Servants Lady Disagree Let them alone Humphrey Disagree I say they shall come and play and therefore call them in Lady Disagree I say they shall not come in nor play therefore forbid them Humphrey Disagree Surely I will be Master and therefore they shall play Lady Disagree Surely I will be Mistriss of this Feast and therefore they shall not play Humphrey Disagree Call them Lady Disagree Let them alone The Servants the while sometimes run as to the door and then as from it not knowing whether they should obey Sir Humphrey rises as to call them himself She rises also Humphrey Disagree They shall come and play He offers to go She puls him back Lady Disagree They shall not play He shoves her from him she takes her Napkin and rouls it flings it at him he flings another at her she takes a Plate and throws at him he Curses and she Scolds their Friends strive to part them and in the strife and bussle down goeth all the Pots and Dishes and so they go fighting and striving off the Stage The Servants take away all the meat and things and after all was gone Enter two Maid-Servants 1 Maid Lord there is such doings within as it is wonderfull my Master swears my Lady cries and rails and rails and cries 2 Maid in truth it is a sad Feast and I was joyed to think how merry we should all be 1 Maid And I pleased my self to think what good cheer we should have and what dainties we should eat 2 Maid Why so you may still 1 Maid No Faith in this Hurlyburby every one catcht who catch could that all is vanish'd and purloyn'd away in this disorder 2 Maid Come let us go and see whether they can agree or not 1 Maid That they can never do so long as the sound of their tongues is within the distance of their Ears besides nature hath not matcht their dispositions or humours 2 Maid You say right intruth their Souls are mismatcht and therefore it is impossible they should ever agree Exeunt Scene 46. Enter Sir Francis Inconstant and Monsieur Disguise SIr Francis Inconstant Sir my VVife your Mistriss is Dead Monsieur Disguise No Sir my Mistriss and your VVhore is Dead Inconstant You are a Villain to corrupt her Disguise You are a Villain to marry her Inconstant Draw for either or both of us Villains shall dy Disguise I fear not Death nor you They both draw their Swords Disguise Justice defend the wrong'd and take my part They fight and give each other deadly wounds Sir Francis Inconstant falls and as he lay on the ground speaks Inconstant Heaven is just to punish perjury with violent Death O my Conscience how it stings me at my Death with the remembrance of the wrongs I did my first love Monsieur Disguise sinks close by Sir Francis and then discovers her self Mistriss Forsaken Do you know this Face or have my sorrows disfigur'd it so much as you cannot call it to remembrance Sir Francis Starts Inconstant You powers above affright not my fleeting Soul with visions but let it gently pass and leave my body to the silent grave He directs his Speech to her Inconstant You Spirit divine take not revenge for I am truly sorry for the wrongs I did thee in thy life Mistriss Forsaken I forgive you and know I am no Spirit and though I cannot say I live because I am dying yet I am not dead and that Letter I brought you was to disguise me the more by a false report but I have acted the design of my Travel which was to end my life with yours for since I could not enjoy you in life I desir'd to imbrace you by Death and so I shall She flings her arms over him and dyes Inconstant O my Soul make haste and follow hers He kisses her and on her lips dyes FINIS THE ACTORS NAMES Monsieur Nobilissimo Monsieur Esperance Monsieur Phantasie Monsieur Poverty Monsieur Adviser and several other Gentlemen Admiration Madamoiselle La Belles Wooers Vainglory Madamoiselle La Belles Wooers Pride Madamoiselle La Belles Wooers Ambition Madamoiselle La Belles Wooers Madamoiselle Esperance Wife to Monsieur Esperance Madamoiselle La Belle Madamoiselle Amour Madamoiselle Grand Esprit Madamoiselle Bon Madamoiselle Tell-truth Madamoiselle Spightfull Madamoiselle Detractor Madamoiselle Malicious THE FIRST PART OF NATURES three DAUGHTERS Beauty Love and Wit ACT I. Scene 1. Enter Madamoiselle Detractor Madamoiselle Spightfull Madamoiselle Malicious and Madamoiselle Tell-truth TEll-truth The Lady Natures Daughters are the only Ladies that are admired praised adored worshiped and sued to all other women are despised Spightfull We may go into a Nunnery for we shall never get Servants nor Husbands as long as they live Tell-truth Why there are but three of them and three women cannot serve and content all the men in the VVorld Detractor No but they may discontent all the men so much as to make them all to be Male-contented Lovers who will reject all because they cannot have what they desire Malicious Let us make a Faction against them Spightfull Alas what Faction against them can hurt and destroy Love Wit and Beauty Detractor Jealousy will weaken Love Dispraise will disgrace Wit and Beauty Time will soon bring that to decay Tell-truth But Jealousy cannot weaken true and virtuous Love nor Dispraise cannot disgrace pure Wit nor Time cannot decay the Beauty of the mind wherefore all the faction you can make against them will do them no hurt besides you will be condemned by all the Masculine Sex if not punished with infamy for your treachery and since you cannot do them harm your best way will be to imitate them for your own good Spightfull So we shall be laughed at and stared on as Monkies and scorned forasmuch as we offer at that which is beyond our abilities and whatsoever is forced and constrained appeareth ridiculous Malicious Come let us leave speaking of them and thinking of them if we can Exeunt Scene 2. Enter Monsieur Esperance and his Wife Madamoiselle Esperance MOnsieur Esperance Surely Wife you do not love me you are not any way kind to me Madamoiselle Esperance True Love Husband is not so fond as serviceable Monsieur Esperance But true Love will express it self sometimes for if you did truly Love me you would hang about my Neck as if you meant to dwell there Madamoiselle Esperance If I thought my kindness might not
Daughter Mistriss Odd-Humour Two Fathers of the Church Gentlemen Maid-Servants Men-Servants A Nurse THE RELIGIOUS ACT I. Scene 1. Enter two Maid-Servants Kate and Joan. KAte My Masters Nephew and my Ladyes Daughter are the kindest lovers for so young ones as that ever I knew Ioan. I believe you never knew such young ones for she is not above ten years of age and he but thirteen or fourteen Kate He addresseth himself in that Country manner and pleads his Love-sure with such affectionate respect and she gives Audience with such modest attention as one would think they were older by a douzen years a-piece than they are Ioan. They have been bred together and they have not been acquainted with the Vanityes and Vices of the World which makes love the more pure Kate My Lady desires my Master that he would give consent his Nephew may marry her Daughter Ioan. She hath reason for he is the only Son of his Father my Masters Brother the Lord Dorato who is very rich and is in great favour with the Arch-Prince of the Country Kate Why so is my Ladyes Daughter the only Child of her Parents and she is Heir to her Fathers Estate Ioan. Yes but her Father left so many Debts when he dyed as the Estate will not be so great as it is thought to be Kate But by that time she is of Age the Debts may be paid Ioan. But my Lady hath a great Jointure out of it that will be a hindrance to the payment ôf Debts Kate Well I believe whether they have their friends consent or not they will marry they love so very much each other Ioan. Perchance so and then repent when they come to elder years that they marryed so young Kate Faith that they may do if they were double their Age for few marry that repent not Ioan. Well come away and leave them to repentance Kate Nay stay they are not married yet Exeunt Scene 2. Enter Sir Thomas Gravity and his Lady LAdy Pray Husband give your Nephew leave to marry my Daughter Sir Thomas Gravity Time enough Wife they are young and may stay this seven years and indeed they are so young as it is not fit they should marry besides I have not absolute power to dispose of my Nephew for though my Brother left him to my care and breeding when he went Ambassadour to the Emperour because his Wife was dead and none so fit to leave him with as I yet to marry him without his Fathers Knowledge or Consent will not be taken well nay perchance he may be very angry Lady Come come he will not displease you with his anger for fear he may lose that you have power to give from him which is your Estate which you may leave to him or his Son having no Children of your own wherefore pray Husband grant my request Sir Thomas Gravity Well wife I will consider it Lady Nay if you consider you will find so many excuses as you will deny my request with excuse Sir Thomas Gravity Faith if I do consent to this marriage it will be to be rid of my Nephews and your importunity Lady You may be sure we will never let you be quiet Sir Thomas Gravity I believe you Exeunt Scene 3. Enter MIstriss Odd-Humour and her Maid Nan Mistriss Odd-Humour Nan give me my work and my little armed Chair The Maid goeth out and strait enters with a little low wicker armed Chair she sits in it but is forced to crowd her self into it the Chair being too little for her seat Nan Lord Mistriss you take great pains to crowd into that Chair I wonder you can take delight to sit so uneasily Mistriss Odd-Humour O custome is a second Nature for I using to sit in this Chair from my Childhood I have a Natural Love to it as to an old acquaintance and being accustomed to sit in it it feels easier She works the whilst she sits and speaks than any other seat for use and custome makes all things easy when that we are unaccustomed to is difficult and troublesome but I take so much delight to sit and work or Sing old Ballads in this Chair as I would not part from it for any thing Nan Yes you would part with your little old Chair for a proper young Husband who would set you on his knees Mistriss Odd-Humour By my faith but I would not for I should find more trouble and less case on a young Husbands knees than on my old Chairs Seat Nan But if you should sit in this Chair when you were marryed your Husband must kneel down if he would kiss you Mistriss Odd-Humour Why then this Chair will learn a Husband humble submission and obedience which Husbands never knew but Nan prethee fetch me some of my old Ballads to sing for I am weary of working One calls Nan in another room Nan Mistriss your Mother calls you She strives to get out of the little Chair hitching first on one side and then on the other side wringing her self by degrees out the whilst speaks Mistriss Odd-Humour I had as lieve be whipt as stir Nan You have reason you labour so much and ring your self so hard as whipping would be less pain for your Chair is now sitter for your Head than your Britch Mistriss Odd-Humour Not unless to break my head for a Chair is not a fit rest for the head for then the heels would be upwards and so I might be thought a Light-heeld wench for light things fly or ly upwards Nan Why the head that is the uppermost part of the body is not light Mistriss Odd-Humour Yes when 't is mad or drunk Exeunt Scene 4. Enter the Lord Dorato Ambassador and a Man with Letters LOrd Dorato How doth my Brother and my Son Man Very well my Lord The Lord reads a Letter Lord Dorato How is this my Son marryed to my Brothers Wives Daughter without my Knowledge or Consent to a Girl whose Estate hath more Debts than Lands and who knows how she will prove when she is a woman and my Son to marry a wife before he hath wit to govern a wife to put a clog to his heels to hinder his Travell for Knowledge sure my Brother is mad dotingly mad to be perswaded by a foolish woman his wife for I know it was her insinuating perswasions that made him agree to the marriage O I could curse the time I sent my Son to him and my self for trusting him to educate and govern him who hath bred him to be as foolish as himself O foolish Son and more foolish Brother by how much being older but I will break the marriage-knot asunder or disinherit my Son or marry and get another that may prove more wise and happy to me Do you know of my Sons marriage Man Yes Sir for t is much talk'd of and of the extraordinary love betwixt the young couple Lord Dorato A couple of young Puppyes and their Unckle an old Al 's O the
him to stir out no not so much as out his Lodgings but that 's not all for they will not suffer him to think for their Tongues disturb all his Meditations the one fills his Ears and Head with promises the other rants in threats the Prince strives to hire him with Wealth and Honour to marry his Neece and his Father stands ready if he denyes to load him with Curses 2 Man The Princes Hire will sooner bring him to consent than the Fathers Load Exeunt Scene 15. Enter Father and Son LOrd Dorato Son if you disobey my commands concerning this marriage as to refuse it by heavens fair light I swear I will load you with so many Curses as shall sink you down to Hell The Father goes out Lord Melancholy alone Lord Melancholy By Heavens fair light I swear I wish I were covered with the darkness of Death but my Fathers Curses may exclude me from Heavens blessings Enter a Servant Servant My Lord your Father desires your presence Exeunt Scene 16. Enter Mistriss Odd-Humour and her Maid Nan MIstriss Odd-Humour O Nan I have had such a misfortune as never was Nan What misfortune Mistriss Odd-Humour Why I was sitting in that little Chair you know I take delight to sit in and was singing of Ballads not expecting that any stranger would come into my Chamber without my notice but as I was sitting and singing in comes my Father and the Gentleman you told me of that was to be my Husband whereat I was so surprized as I forgot the Chair was so little I could not readily part from it I started up in a fright and run away the Chair being so little in the seat stood so close to me as it went a-long with me and my back being towards my Father and the Gentleman saw the Chair as it stuck to me the Gentleman seeing the Chair hanging there told my Father that he perceived that I his Daughter was of so lazy a Nature that rather than stay or want a seat I would have a Chair tyed to my breech whereupon he hath broak the agreement he made with my Father and my Father for anger hath vowed to break or burn my Chair O Nan what shall I do to save my Chair for to lose both Chair and Husband will be too great a loss Nan Which had you rather lose the Gentleman or the Chair Mistriss Odd-Humour O the Gentleman Nan for he will not do me half so much service as the Chair hath done me he will never bear with me as the Chair hath bore me and I perceive by his she humour and Courteous Nature that he would sooner break my head with a Chair than ease my hips with a Seat therefore good Nan devise some way to save my Chair from Execution and the fates I hope as a blessing to me have made the Chair a means to break the marriage betwixt this Gentleman and me Nan It seems he loves an active wife Mistriss Odd-Humour Faith all Fools love busy women Nan The best way is to speak to your Mother to pacify your Father Mistriss Odd-Humour I will take your advice Exeunt Scene 17. Enter the Lady Perfection LAdy Perfection And is he married Heavens send him joy and me patience Heaven Crown his life with Happiness and mine with Peace and may he have posterity that may live long and flourish high that may keep alive his memory though I should be forgotten in the grave yet Heaven grant his fame may live eternally Enter Lady Gravity Lady Gravity Daughter have you heard of your Husbands marriage Lady Perfection Yes Madam Lady Gravity 'T is reported that the Princess whom he is married to is ill-favoured foolish and peevish Lady Perfection He is too wise to consider outward favour and for wit he hath enough for himself and his wife and his sweet and noble Nature and behaviour will equalize her peevish humour Lady Gravity There are Balls Masks and Playes to be extraordinary for the joy of this marriage wherefore Daughter I desire you to adorn your self and appear in those Assemblyes Lady Perfection I shall obey you Madam Exeunt Scene 18. Enter Lord Melancholy and an old Servant of his SErvant I wonder your Lordship should be so Melancholy that hath wealth at will it is enough for such poor men as I to be Melancholy Lord Melancholy I would thou hadst my wealth so I had thy freedome Servant O Sir there is no Freedome in Poverry Lord Melancholy Nor no Poverty in Freedome for freedome is the wealth of the Gods Servant If it pleased the Gods would I was bound to Riches Lord Melancholy I wish thou wert so I was free of my Princesses Shackels Exeunt Scene 19. Enter Sir Thomas Gravity and his Lady LAdy Husband the Arch-Prince hath sent a Messenger to give us notice he will come and visit my Daughter Sir Thomas Gravity I hear he is much enamored with your Daughters Beauty since he saw her at the last Ball Lady I will go to her and make her dress her self fine to entertain him Sir Thomas Gravity Her Beauty is bravery enough wherefore she needs no other adornment but what Nature hath drest her in Lady But Art gives additions Exeunt Scene 20. Enter two Gentlemen 1 GEnt. The Emperor I hear is sending Embassadors to the Arch-Prince to treat of a marriage betwixt the Arch-Prince and the Emperors Daughter 2 Gent. The report is that she is a fair and Virtuous Lady and the Prince will have great advantages by the alliance with the Emperour 1 Gent. He will so wherefore I hope and pray that the match may be for the good of this Kingdome Exeunt Scene 21. Enter the Arch-Prince and the Lady Perfection ARch-Prince Fair Lady grant me your love and I will ask no more but what accompanyes it your person which I will make an equal to my self Lady Perfection Gracious Sir had I a Virgins Love and Person pure to equal it I would present it to your Highness but both my Love and Person have been wedded unto another man and though the Law hath made a divorce yet Death hath not dissolved the marriage Arch-Prince Heaven hath given you Virtue which keeps your person pure and like a precious Diamond doth remain for though it hath or should have several purchasers yet doth it lose nothing of its value or worth and though you have been wedded to another man your Virtuons Chastity is still as pure as in your Virgins Estate and by the Laws your person is set free and for the Love you gave may be called back or drawn away since 't is not entertained Lady Perfection 'T is true I am Chast and so I will remain and though the law hath set my person free my conscience is not yet at liberty nor will that love I gave away return no more than life that 's past rise from the Urn wherefore most noble Sir ask me not for that which I have not to give you Arch-Prince Equal
consent makes a happy marriage wherefore I desire your free consent but know if you refuse it t is in my power to have you without your consent either for a Mistriss or for a Wife Lady Perfection You have no power the power lives within my self for I can take away my life and a dead Mistriss or a dead Wife would neither be conversable nor pleasurable death is not amiable 't is rather a terrour than a delight Arch-Prince I will leave my Sute to your consideration ponder on it well and take good advice my Sute is honest and just a deniall may inveterate my passion and turn my pure love into a raging flame Exeunt Scene 22. Enter the Lord Melancholy he walks about the Room with his Hat pull'd over his forehead his Arms foulded his Eyes bent towards the ground then enters his Father to him the Lord Dorato LOrd Dorato Why how now Son shall I never find you with Company but always alone in a musing Melancholy posture Lord Melancholy I never did love much Company Sir Lord Dorato But methinks in honesty you might love the Company of your Wife Lord Melancholy Were my liberty equal to my Love I should not be often from her Lord Dorato Why who bars you from that liberty Lord Melancholy The Laws Sir Lord Dorato So I perceive you are discontented because you are barr'd from your Whore Lord Melancholy You are my Father but should another man have said so much I would make him prove it with his blood Lord Dorato Why the Laws have proved it Lord Melancholy Oh Heavens that Fathers should be so cruell have not you made me unhappy by forcing me to those actions that neither Conscience Honesty nor Honour can approve of and yet will you disturb my Life trouble my Thoughts and torture me with words Lord Dorato No no I love you so well as I would have you so happy as to be delighted with mirth and not to bury your self in Melancholy and despise those blessings Heaven bestows upon you as Wealth and Honour besides the blessing of Posterity for your Lady proves to be fruitfull being big with Child Lord Melancholy I am so unhappy my self I desire none but to please you Lord Dorato Come come pray let me perswade you to go to your wife the Princess and sit and talk with her for she is displeased she hath no more of your Company she complains and sayes she seldome sees you Lord Melancholy Her humour and mine are so different that we are happyest when we are fardest asunder Lord Dorato Let me tell you Son that all women love to be flattered and when they are not they are peevish cross and froward and therefore you must flatter her Lord Melancholy I must have a Tutor first to teach me Sir for I understand not the Art of flattery I never practise it Lord Dorato Time and Company Ambition and Covetousness will teach you that but the best Tutor is Cupid and the best Tutoress is Venus and you have been a lover Son Lord Melancholy Yes Sir in Hymens Court and there they use not much flattery Lord Dorato Not so much as in Venus and Cupids Courts but yet there are flatterers enough in Hymens both Male and Females but pray Son go to the Princess your wife Exeunt Scene 23. Enter Lady Perfection and her Nurse LAdy Perfection Nurse I hear the Arch-Prince is resolved to have me if not by fair perswasions by force Nurse And what woman would not be perswaded to be an Arch-Princess they need no inforcement Lady Perfection Not I unless I could be perswaded to be an Arch-Whore and if you went about to perswade me you would be an Arch-Bawd Nurse Come come there is none durst call you so is you were the Arch-Princesses nor call me Bawd neither Lady Perfection But they would think me so and think you a Bawd Nurse Thoughts are free and every one may think their pleasure and therefore let me perswade you in spite of thoughts to be an Arch-Princess Lady Perfection If I thought you did not speak in jest I should hate you in earnest Nurse What for giving you good Counsel Lady Perfection No for giving me wicked Counsel but I will give you better Counsel and my self too Nurse What Counsel is that Lady Perfection To forsake the World and to go to Heaven Nurse Faith I would not go to Heaven unless the Gods call me I love this World very well I have been long acquainted with it and I would not willingly part from an old friend Lady Perfection The World did never befriend any Body besides thou art so old as thy friend the World is run away from thee Nurse But howsoever I will stay in it as long as I can The Nurse goes out Enter the Lady Gravity Lady Gravity Daughter I am come to perswade you not to reject a good fortune for Fortunes favours are not profered every day Lady Perfection Nor are her favourites surer to continue in her favour long Lady Gravity But if I should command you to receive the Arch-Princes addresses and to consent to be his wife I hope you will not be less obedient to me than the Lord Melancholy hath been to his Father Lady Perfection If he to obey his Father forgot or neglected his obedience to Heaven you must pardon me if I do not follow his precepts not that I accuse him for perchance his Conscience hath acquitted him and set him free from fault and so from blame but mine doth not acquit me wherefore dear Mother do not perswade me against my Conscience I have had misfortunes enough to trouble my life I shall not need to add the guilt of Conscience and what can outward Title do me good what pleasure can I take when that my Mind or Soul is tortured with black guilt Lady Gravity No Heaven forbid I should perswade you against your Conscience but how will you avoid or escape the Princes inforcement Lady Perfection I have thought of a way that best suits with my Condition and Disposition which is to take a Religious habit and enter into a Religious Order for though I cannot vow Virginity nor a single life having a Husband and been used as a VVife yet I can vow Chastity and retirement and if I could be permitted into an Nunnery as perchance I cannot yet I would not go into any of them for there is too much Company in ordinary Nunneryes and I love solitariness wherefore I will live a kind of a Hermits life only my Nurse and I and that- little Tower my Father built for pleasure shall be my Cloyster and before it is publickly known I will send or go to the Fathers of the Church and acquaint them and strait Incloyster my self and there I shall be safe for the Prince dares not commit Sacrilege for Gods and men would rise against him if he did Lady Gravity Nor I dare not oppose your holy design Lady Perfection Dear Mother
to be a Souldier 2 Gent. Yes and he may chance to get a glorious Fame 1 Gent. But particular Fames are like particular Creatures some dye and decay sooner than others but few live to old Nestors years and some lye Bedrid and a great Company are decrepid and lame others are croked and deformed from their Birth and some by evill Fortune and many are Orphans and aboundance Bastards and Changlings and though War makes the lowdest noise in Fames Palace yet Wit for the most part lives the longest therein for Wit is such a delightfull Company and such pleasant pastime as old Father Time takes great care to preserve it lapping Wit warm in the Memory and feeding it often with Rehersals Exeunt Scene 15. Enter the Lady Examination and the Lady Solitary EXamination Come Come you will never get you a real Lover if you delight so much in Solitaries Solitary I desire none for real Lovers do oftentimes prove unconstant whereas feigned lovers are as constant as the Contemplator would have them and as many as they would have besides a crowd or multitude of thoughts may rise up in the brain and be as Spectators of one single thought which if the Contemplator pleases may be a Lover and the rest of the Spectators thoughts may censure of that single thought as of his good parts or bad his virtues or vices some may praise others dispraise and the like thus a Contemplator can never want Lovers Admirers Censurers nor any other Company since the Mind can present them with what thoughts they desire not only the thoughts of Men Women and Children but of any other Creatures that Nature hath made for why should not our Spirits or Soul delight and content us without the real possession of outward Good as well as the Spirits or Soul doth torment us with a real Evill for why may not Opinion or Fancy as well and as much delight us as Opinion and Fancy affright us as they often do Examination But an over-studious Mind doth waste the Body for the Thoughts feeds as much upon the Body as the Body upon the meat we eat and the Body nourishes the Thoughts as much as meat nourishes the Body and for the most part as the Body is effected so is the Mind for a distempered Body makes a distempered Mind as a Luxurious Body makes an Amorous Mind and a Feavour in the Body makes the mind frantick for the heat of a Feavour is like Strong-water it makes the Spirits drunk the Thoughts dizie and the Mind sick Solitary Indeed the Body and the Mind do most commonly agree as in Monarchy the King and the Subjects do the Subjects obeying the King and the King commanding the Subjects yet sometimes the Subjects compel the King and sometimes the King forces the Subjects so sometimes the Appetite compels the Reason at other times the Reason forces the Appetite to a Moderation and sometimes the Humours of the Body which are like the senceless Commonalty and the Passions of the Soul which are as the Nobles oftentimes fall out where sometimes the Humours of the Body usurp with an uprore the Passions of the Soul and sometimes the Passions overcome the Humours by a wise policy but when as the Kingdome of Man is in Peace the Imaginations in the head send down thoughts as metal into the heart wherein they are melted and minted into current Coin each thought as each peece having a several stamp some is stamped with Hate some Spight others Malice some with Jealousy some Hope some with Fear some Pitty some Love but that of Love is of the highest vallew but these Coins serve for Commerce and Traffick in the Body from the Authority of the Mind or Soul whose stamp or Image each piece bears Exeunt Scene 16. Enter Sir William Admirer and the Lady Peaceable ADmirer Dear Mistriss how I love you Peaceable I wish I had Merits worthy your Affections Admirer You are all a man can wish in women kind for you are young fair virtuous witty and wise Peaceable Alas all youth hath more follies than years whereas those that are old have or ought to have more years than follies Admirer You might be thought old by your speech and actions by reason you speak so experienced and act with such prudence and discretion wherefore I should judge you were instructed by those that are old and knew much Peaceable Indeed my Educators were Aged and my Tutors like as Painters drew with the Pencil of the Tongue and the Colours of Sense and the white of Truth on the Platform of my Brain many figurate discourses for the Understanding to view but my Understanding hath weak Eyes Admirer Your Understanding neither wants sight nor light but the Lady Faction wants both or else she had not been so uncivil to you as she was when I was with you last were not you very Cholerick with her Peaceable I am of too Melancholy a Nature to be very Cholerick Admirer Why are those that are Melancholy never Cholerick Peaceable I cannot say never but yet very seldome by reason they want that heat which makes Choler for though the Spirits of Melancholy persons may be as quick as those that are Cholerick yet they are not so fiery for there is as much difference betwixt Melancholy and Choler as freesing and burning the one contracts into a sad silence the other expulses in blows and many extravagant actions and angry words but those persons which are seldome angry as all Melancholy persons are who are of a patient peaceable Nature yet when they are angry are very angry to those persons that are naturally Melancholy that are seldome seen to be merry or to laugh yet when they are merry their mirth is ridiculous and they will laugh extremely as at nothing or at any thing so those that are naturally Contemplative when they do speak they speak beyond all sense and reason their speech flows like as a Torrent rough and forceable thus we may perceive that extremes one way run into extremes another way Admirer I can truly witness that you are not apt to be angry or at least not to appear angry for I did wonder at your humble behaviour civil answers patient demeanors towards the Lady Faction Peaceable I may suffer an injury patiently when I cannot avoid it but I will never injure my self in doing such actions or speaking such words as are unbefitting unworthy and base Exeunt ACT V. Scene 17. Enter the Lady Solitary her Governess a Grave Matron and a Gentleman as coming a Iourney MAtron Pray Charge thank this Gentleman for his gifts and favours to me Solitary Governess let me tell you that they do themselves a courtesy or favour that do a courtesy or favour to another and therefore there needs no thanks Gentleman But Lady you ought to thank me for coming out of my way so far as I have done to see you Solitary No truly for if you came out of your way to see me
he should hate you as first to love you for your virtue and sweet disposition next for the honour dignity and Kingdome he hath got by his marring you for he hath no right to the Dukedome but by your Highness and by your Highness he is become an absolute Prince and injoyes a rich Kingdome Unfortunate Dutchess But he hath taken the power from me and strives to disposess of me of my right Woman He cannot the Kingdome will never suffer him for your title is so just as he can make no pretence to disposess your Highness from your Princely Throne Unfortunate Dutchess But I being his Wife he takes the power of a Husband and by that power the power of my Kingdome and those that have the power can frame their titles as they please none dare oppose them Woman The truth is Madam that might overcomes right Exeunt Scene 2. Enter two Gentlemen 1 GEnt. The Factions and divisions that are in this Kingdome will be a means to deliver it into the power of the Enemy 2 Gent. This Duke is young wild deboist and inconstant wherefore there is but little hopes it should be better governed 1 Gent. But the Dutchess who is the true owner of it is discreet wise and virtuous and having more years than he she might help to rule and order state affairs 2 Gent. But neither her discretion wisdome nor virtue hath power for marriage hath inthralled her for she is become her Husbands Slave who ought to be his Soveraign but he laughs and doth despise her because she is somewhat elder than himself 1 Gent. Heaven will revenge her wrongs Exeunt Scene 3. Enter the Duke of Inconstancy and a Gentleman DUke Inconstancy Have you been with the Lady I sent you to Gentleman Yes Duke Inconstancy And doth she listen to Loves Sute Gentleman She seems well pleased to hear her Beauty praised but will not hear of Amorous imbracements as yet Duke Inconstancy But it is a good Omen when as a Lady will nimblingly bite at a bait of flattery but did you see her Husband Gentleman No Sir Duke Inconstancy Well you must go again and present her with a Letter and a present from me for Ladies must be plied though they deny yet most do yield upon a treaty they cannot long hold out loves fierce assaults Gentleman Indeed the Female Sex is tender and weak although they are delicate and sweet Duke Inconstancy They are false and oft betray themselves Exeunt Scene 4. Enter the Unfortunate Dutchess and her Woman then enters another as running in haste 1 WOman O Madam Madam news is come that the Enemy hath got into the heart of the Kingdome wherefore sweet Lady fly for they will possess themselves of this City soon Unfortunate Dutchess I will not fly for I cannot meet a worse Enemy than the Duke himself should worse than Mankind Conquer it but I wish my Sister were safe Woman The young Princess I hear is fled to the Dukes Brother Unfortunate Dutchess I am glad of it for he is discreetly temperate although his Brother is not Exeunt Scene 5. Enter the Duke of Inconstancy and a Gentleman GEntleman Sir what will your Highness do Duke Inconstancy I will go and oppose the Enemy Gentleman Alass Sir you have no forces to oppose them withall you may go to be destroyed but not to destroy wherefore you with your small forces had better fly than fight Duke Inconstancy Whither shall I go Gentleman To any Prince that will receive you into pay by which you may maintain your self and live with some respect and fame abroad though you have lost your Kingdome whereas if you stay you will lose your self and Kingdome too Duke Inconstancy Your Counsel I will take Gentleman But what will your Highness do with your Dutchess Duke Inconstancy Let her do what she will with her self I care not now for since her Kingdome is lost I have no use of her Gentleman Not as concerning the Kingdome Sir but yet she is your Highnesses Wife and as a Husband you ought to regard her Duke Inconstancy She will follow me for Wives stick so close to their Husbands as they cannot be shaken off Exeunt Scene 6. Enter the Creating Princess and her Woman VVOman Pray Madam do not marry so much below your self Creat Princess Why what matter whom I marry since I can create my Husband to Honour Woman But Madam that Honour will do him no good nor will it take off your disgrace for none will give your Husband if he be an inferiour person the Place and Respect that is due to Great Princes Titles Creat Princess No but he shall take Place and my Servants shall give him the Respect and Homage that is due to great Titles For I will make him a Prince and who dare call him any other but Prince Woman There is none will call him Prince unless your own Servants and none will give him Place that are above the degree of his Birth no nor he durst not take it of Gallant Noble Men for if he offers thereat they will beat him back and force him to give way and to be only a Prince in his own House and not abroad is no better than to be a Farmer nay a Cobler or a Tayler or any the like are Kings in their own Houses although they be but thatch'd if they have but a Servant subject or Subject Servant Creat Princess Well say what you will I will make him a Prince Exeunt Scene 7. Enter the Duke of Inconstancy and a Gentleman GEntleman Sir doth not your Highness hear that your Dutchess is gone with your Enemies into the Countrey Duke Yes and though I might curse my Enemies for dispossessing me of the Kingdom I injoyed yet I give them thanks for carrying my Wife away with them for now I have more room and liberty to Wooe and Court my Mistress Enter another Gentleman Gent. Sir the Lady Beauties Husband 's dead Duke So I perceive Fortune will be my Friend some waies although she is my Foe other waies for she will Crown me with Love although she uncrowns me with Power wherefore return presently back to my Mistriss and tell her that now her Husband is dead and my Wife gone into another Country We may marry Ex. 1. Gent. But your Highness cannot marry as long as the Dutchess is alive Duke I mean to be like the Great Turk have many VVives 1. Gent. VVhy the Great Turk hath but one chief VVife the rest are but as Concubines for only the Sons of that chief Queen shall be Successors to the Emperor unless she hath none neither can his other Children inherit unless he be Right and Lawfull Emperor So that unless your Highness had been Duke by Inheritance as an Inhereditary Duke no Children by any other Lady can be Inheritors nor indeed Princes unless they were begot on the Right Owner to that Title Duke VVell since I have no Power but only an empty Title I cannot
marry than Batchelors and Widows than maids 1 Matron Stay Lady you must first get the good will of your Parents 1 Virgin All parents good will concerning Mariage is got before hand without speaking if the Suter be rich and if he prove a good Husband then Parents brag to their acquaintance saying How well they have match'd their Child making their acquaintance believe it was their prudence and industry that made the match when the young couple were agreed before their parents ever knew or guess'd at such a match but if they prove unhappy then they complain to their acquaintance and shake their heads crying it was their own doings saying their children were wilfull and would not be rul'd although they forc'd them to marry by threatnings and cursings O the unjust partiality of self-love even in parents which will not allow right to their own own branches But I forget my self Farewell farewell All Virgins Bid us to your Wedding bid us to your Wedding Exeunt ACT IV. Scene 24. Enter Madam Soeur and Monsieur Frere follows her Soeur Why do you follow me with sighs fetch'd deep and groans that seem to rend your heart in two Frere Be not offended Sisters should not be so unnatural as to be weary of a Brothers company or angry at their grief but rather strive to ease the sorrow of their hearts than load on more with their unkindness Soeur Heaven knows Brother that if my life could ease your grief I willingly would yield it up to death Frere O Gods O Gods you cruel Gods commanding Nature to give us Appetites then starve us with your Laws decree our ruine and our fall create us only to be tormented Exit Monsieur Frere Madam Soeur alone Soeur I dare not ask his griefs or search his heart for fear that I should find that which I would not know Exit Scene 25. Enter Monsieur Malateste's Steward and Servants STeward My Master and our new Lady are comming home wherefore you must get the House very clean and fine You Wardropian you must lay the best Carpets on the Table and set out the best Chairs Stools and in the Chamber wherein my Master and Lady must lie you must set up the Cross-stitch bed and hang up the new suit of Hangings wherein is the story of Abraham and Sarah and Hagar her Maid And you Pantlor must have a care that the glasses be well wash'd and that the Basin and Yewer Voider and Plates be bright scowr'd as also the silver Cistern and the silver Flagons standing therein and to have a care that the Table-cloaths be smooth and the Napkins finely knip'd and perfum'd and that the Limons Orenges Bread Salt Forks Knives and Glasses be set and placed after the newest Mode Enter Nan Steward O Mistris Nan you have prevented me for I was going to seek you out to let you know my Master and our new Lady will be here before night wherefore you must see that the Linnen be fine and the Sheets be well dry'd and warm'd and that there be in my Ladies Chamber all things necessary Nan Let her comand one of her own maids for I am none of her servant Steward Why whose servant are you Nan My Masters who hir'd me and pays me my wages I never saw her nor she me Steward But all my Masters servants are my Ladies for Man and Wife divide not their servants as to say those are mine these are yours Nan Why I 'm sure in my other Ladies time all the servants were my Masters and none my Ladies for she had not power to take or turn away any one Steward The more was the pity for she was both virtuous and wise Besides beautiful and well-bred rich and honourably born and of a sweet disposition But 't is said this Lady hath such a spirit as she will share in the Rule and Government Nan Yes yes for a little time as long as Honey-moneth lasts I dare warrant you she shall reign nor rule no longer Exit Nan Steward Come my friends and fellow-servants let 's every one about our several Affairs Exeunt Scene 25. Enter Madamoiselle Soeur as sitting in her Chamber Enters Monsieur Frere and comes to her and kneeling down weeps Soeur Dear Brother why do you kneel and weep to me Frere My tears like as distress'd Petitioners fall to the ground and at your feet crave mercy it is not life they ask but love that they would have Soeur Why so you have for I do vow to Heaven I love you better than ambitious men love power or those that are vain-glorious love a Fame better than the body loves health or the life loves peace Frere Yet still you love me not as I would have you love Soeur Why how would you have me love Frere As Husbands love their Wives or Wives their Husbands Soeur Why so I do Frere And will you lie with me Soeur How would you have me commit Incest Frere Sister follow not those foolish binding Laws which frozen men have made but follow Natures Laws whose Freedome gives a Liberty to all Soeur Heaven bless your soul for sure you are possest with some strange wicked spirit that uses not to wander amongst men Frere Sister be not deceiv'd with empty words and vainer tales made only at the first to keep the ignorant vulgar sort in awe whose Faith like to their greedy Appetites take whatsoever is offer'd be it nere so bad or ill to their stomacks they never consider but think all good they can get down so whatsoever they hear they think 't is true although they have no reason or possibility for it Soeur But learned and knowing men wise and judicious men holy and good men know this you ask is wicked Frere They do not know it but they believe as they are taught for what is taught men in their Childhood grows strong in their Manhood and as they grow in years so grow they up in Superstition Thus wise men are deceiv'd and cozen'd by length of time taking an old forgotten deed to be a true seal'd bond wherefore dear Sister your Principles are false and therefore your Doctrine cannot be true Soeur Heaven hath taught that Doctrine wherefore we cannot erre Frere Heaven considers us no more than beasts that freely live together Soeur O that I should live to know my only Brother turn from man to beast She goes out Monsieur Frere alone Frere I am glad the Ice is broke and that her fury rages not like fire Exit Scene 26. Enter Monsieur Sensible and Madamoiselle Amor MOnsieur Sensible Daughter I do perceive that Monsieur Frere doth neglect you besides he is a wilde debauch'd young man and no ways likely to make a good Husband wherefore I charge you on my blessing and the duty you owe me to draw off those affections you have placed upon him Amor Good Sir do not impose that on my duty which I cannot obey for I can sooner draw the
light from the Sun or the World from its Center or the fix'd Stars from their assigned places than draw away love from him Sensible Why how if he will not have you Amor I can only say I shall be unhappy Sensible I hope you will be wiser than to make your self miserable for one you cannot have to be your Husband Exeunt Scene 27. Enter many of Monsieur Malateste's Servants writing against their Master and Ladies comming home Enter Monsieur Malateste and his Lady SErvants Heaven give your Worship joy and our noble Lady Madam Mal. What is this your best House Monsieur Mal. Yes and is it not a good one Sweet Madam Mal. Fie upon it I hate such an old-fashiond House wherefore pray pull it down and build another more fashionable as that there may be a Bell-view and Pergalus round the outside of the Horse also Arched Gates Pillars and Pilasters and carved Frontispeeces with Antick Imagery also I would have all the lower rooms vaulted and the upper rooms flat-roof'd painted and gilded and the Planchers checker'd and inlaid with silver the Stair-case to be large and winding the steps broad and low as shallow then to take in two or three Fields about your House to make large Gardens wherein you may plant Groves of Mirtle as also to make Walks of green Turf and those to be hanging and shelving as if they hung by Geometry also Fountains and Water-works and those Water-works to imitate those Birds in Winter that only sing in Summer Monsieur Mal. But this will cost a great summ of money Wise Madam Mal. That 's true Husband but to what use is money unless to spend Monsieur Mal. But it ought to be spent prudently Madam Mal. Prudently say you why Prudence and Temperance are the Executioners of Pleasure and Murtherers of Delight wherefore I hate them as also this covetous humour of yours Exeunt Monsieur Malateste and his Wife 1 Servant I marry Sir here is a Lady indeed for she talks of pulling down this House before she hath throughly seen it and of building up another 2 Servant If you will have my opinion the old servants must go down as well as the old house 3 Servant I believe so for she look'd very scornfully upon us nor spoke not one word either good or bad to us 4 Servant Well come let us go about our imployments and please as long as we can and when we can please no longer we must seek other Services Exeunt Scene 28. Enter Monsieur Frere and Madam Soeur MAdam Soeur Do not pursue such horrid Acts as to Whore your Sister Cuckold your Brother-in-Law dishonour your Father and brand your life and memory with black infamy Good Brother consider what a world of misery you strive to bring upon your self and me Frere Dear Sister pity me and let a Brothers pleading move your heart and bury not my youth in Death before the natural time Soeur 'T is better you should die and in the grave be laid than live to damn your soul Frere To kill my self will be as bad a crime Soeur O no for Death any way is more honourable than such a life as you would live Exeunt Scene 29. Enter the two Gentlemen 1 Gent. FRiend prethee tell me why you do not marry 2 Gent. Because I can find no woman so exact as I would have a Wife to be for first I would not have a very tall woman for the appears as if her soul and body were mis-match'd as to have a pigmy soul and a gyantly body 1 Gent. Perchance her soul is answerable to her body 2 Gent. O no for it is a question whether women have souls or no but for certain if they have they are of a dwarfish kind Neither would I have a wife with a masculine strength for it seems praeposterous to the softness and tenderness of their Sex neither would I have lean wife for she will appear always to me like the picture of Death had she but a sythe and hour-glass in her hand for though we are taught to have always Death in our Mind to remember our End yet I would not have Death always before my Eyes to be afraid of my End But to have a very lean wife were to have Death in my Arms as much as in my Eyes and my Bed would be as my Grave 1 Gent. Your Bed would be a warm Grave 2 Gent. Why man though Death is cold the Grave is hot for the Earth hath heat though Death hath none 1 Gent. What say you to a fat woman 2 Gent. I say a fat woman is a bed-fellow only for the Winter and not for the Summer and I would have such a woman for my Wife as might be a nightly companion all the year 1 Gent. I hope you would not make your Wife such a constant bed-fellow as to lie always together in one bed 2 Gent. Why not 1 Gent. Because a mans stomack or belly may ake which will make wind work and the rumbling wind may decrease love and so your wife may dislike you and dislike in time may make a Cuckold 2 Gent. By your favour it increases Matrimonial Love 't is true it may decrease Amorous Love and the more Amorous Love increases the more danger a man is in for Amorous Love even to Husbands is dangerous for that kind of Love takes delight to progress about when Matrimonial Love is constant and considers Nature as it is Besides a good Wife will not dislike that in her Husband which she is subject to her self but howsoever I will never marry unless I can get such a Wife as is attended by Virtue directed by Truth instructed by Age on honest grounds and honourable principles which Wife will neither dislike me nor I her but the more we are together the better we shall love and live as a maried pair ought to live and not as dissembling Lovers as most maried couples do 1 Gentlem. What think you of choosing a Wife amongst the Sociable Virgins 2 Gent. No no I will choose none of them for they are too full of discourse for I would have a Wife rather to have a listning Ear than a talking Tongue for by the Ear she may receive wise instructions and so learn to practise that which is noble and good also to know my desires as to obey my will when by speaking muck she may express her self a fool for great Talkers are not the wisest Practisers Besides her restless Tongue will disturb my Contemplations the Tranquillity of my Mind and the peace quiet and rest of my Life Exeunt Scene 30. Enter Madam Malateste and another Maid and Nan the former Ladies Maid MAdam Mal. Are you she that takes upon you to govern and to be Mistris in this House Nan Why I do but that I did in the other Ladies time Madam Mal. Let me tell you you shall not do so in my time nay you shall have no doings wherefore get you out of the
thought And so farewel Exeunt Scene 15. Enter Sir William Holdfast and his Friend Mr. Disswader HOldfast Sir Thomas Letgo's Mistris that he is to marry is a pretty Lady Disswader But I do not perceive he is very hasty to marry her Holdfast If she were mine I would not prolong my Wedding-day Disswader For fear she should die and you should lose her Estate Holdfast No I am not covetous for my Estate will maintain a Wife according to my quality although she bring no Portion and upon that condition I might have her I would give a Portion for her so much I like and fancy her Disswader And would you marry her if you might have her Holdfast Yes Disswader Pray tell me what would you do with a Fool she would be neither good for Breed nor Conversation for she might bring you a Race of Fools and vex you with ignorant Follies Holdfast Why should you think her a Fool she neither appears froward peevish or spightful she hath a sober Face a bashful Countenance a natural Garb she is silent and pensive which shews she is no Fool but if she were always laughing or toying or singing or dancing or simpering or prating or had an affected countenance or affected garbs or postures I should conclude her to be a Fool But certainly she must needs have a wise Wit for she seems melancholy and contemplative which no fool is she hears much and speaks little which no fool doth wherefore I judge she hath Wit but either she is careless and cares not to express it or thinks the company fools and therefore will not express it or is so bashful as she cannot express it and there is nothing shews or discovers Wit so much as Bashfulness which shews the Mind and Thoughts so sensible as they apprehend beyond anothers perceivance and so fearful lest they should commit Errors in their Actions and Expressions as they obscure their Virtues and natural Excellencies for want of a confident Assurance and a good Opinion of their own Abilities besides Bashfulness thinks the least natural defect a Crime and every little errour a Disgrace never to be rubb'd out they will blush at their own thoughts and will pine almost into a Consumption if two or three idle words should slip out of their mouths or that they should mistake an Argument or that their Behaviour was not so or so The truth is they never think their Actions or their Words well enough done or spoken they are the first that shall condemn themselves and the last that shall give themselves a pardon But prethee Ned as thou art my Friend see if you can procure me or watch for an opportunity that I might speak with her alone Disswader I think that were not difficult to be done but I will enquire a way Holdfast Do not forget it Disswader No it is so remarkable you should be in love with so simple a creature as I shall remember it Exeunt Scene 17. Enter the Lady Prudence and her Suter a Divine The Divine goeth to the place where the Suters plead and the Assembly about them DIvine Madam I should not thus presume did not my Profession dignifie me to a Spiritual Office wherefore a fit Suter to a Divine Lady And since my Sute is holy by reason Mariage is sacred despise me not Prudence Worthy Sir all of your Profession require a solitary Habitation for studious Contemplation to a holy life wherein their Thoughts are Consecrated to Devotion that their Doctrine may flow from a pure Mind in Eloquent words to the ears of their Flock to instruct them with the light of Knowledge and to lead them into the ways of Truth whereas Mariage although it be sacred in it self yet it is rather apt to disturb than unite especially a double Mariage which are of different Natures for there are two sorts of Mariages as a Spiritual and a Corporal The first is betwixt the Gods and Mankind the other is betwixt Man and Woman The one is by a Consecration and Communion of Spirits the other is by a Combination and Communication of Persons wherefore those that are maried to Iove ought to keep themselves pure in that Unity As for the mariage of Combination and Communication of Persons although it is requisite for the continuance of Mankind and civil Common-wealths yet to spiritual Elevations is is a great hinderance for though a woman especially a Wife be accounted as a Helper and Comfort to man by her diligent attendance and loving service yet women are accounted not only unprofitable in learned Schools but obstructers to a studious life for which women are not suffer'd to inhabite in Universities Schools or Colleges indeed we are in a maner banish'd from the sight or entrance thereinto and men have reason so to do since learning especially Divine learning requires study and study requires a quiet solitary and silent life and certainly there can be neither solitariness nor silence where women and children are for Nature hath made women and children to have restless spirits unquiet minds busiless active and such voluble tongues as it is impossible they should be silent whilest life gives them motion so that a woman is a very unfit companion for Contemplations wherein there should be no other company but thoughts which thoughts in a Divine should be only such as are the Inquirers and Searchers of Ioves divine Mysteries and Scholars to Ioves divine Schools and Orators to explain plead in Ioves divine Laws and servants to Ioves divine Orders that they may be Instructers and Intelligencers of Ioves divine Commands And though women ought to be instructed in Divinity yet for the most part women are obstructers and disturbers of Divinity and Divines besides the Original Woman was a Tempter to Sin which all her Effeminate Posterity inherit as a Natural Right and Gift from their great Grandmother And though Divines ought to be industrious to cut off the Intail of that Original Inheritance with their holy Doctrine quenching the fire of Temptation with the spiritual dew of Divine Instructions yet ought they not to run themselves into that fire they should quench serving as fuel to increase it Wherefore those that dedicate themselves to Ioves Church ought to live separated from Natures daughters lest they should yield to humane frailties and become slaves to the Effeminate Temptations Exeunt Scene 18. Enter Mistris Trifle and Mistris Parle TRifle Friend I am come to ask thy counsel Parle Concerning what Trifle Concerning Mariage Parle I will give you the best I can but it is both difficult and dangerous to give counsel in so weighty a Concernment as Mariage Trifle You say very true and being so weighty a Concernment as you say I am come for thy Advice not trusting to my own judgment and thus it is There is a Gentleman that hath come two or three times thorough out street and the last time he came he look'd up to my Chamber-window wherefore I conceive he