giuen to those who for thy sake requite euil with good then the true peace which they find in their souls by it it were most worthy our labour But thou my Lord reseruest great reward in the next life for those who for bitternes caused to them by others do return sweetnes vnto â—hem yea nothing is more pleasing and acceptable to thee then that we by humility and patience do pacify those who are offended with vs. But alas my God I wil speak and wil not be silent in the eares of my Lord and with teares in mine eyes wil bewail my sins and offences I â—now there is no more true loue in our souls to our neighbours then we are dead to our selues and liue vnto thee What therefor can I think of my poor soul so barrein of al true vertue If I loue thy very-very-self so little as indeed I do where wilt thouâ—ind â—ind in me that Charity which by thy law I owe for thee towards them Verily when I consider how destitute I am of al that might make me pleasing in thine eyes I cannot but tremble and fear Yet again taking hart remembring thy Mercy towards me I find I haue cause of hope thou being goodnes itself whose nature is to desir to impart it-self which if thou wilt be pleased to do to my poor soul I shal notwithstanding al my sins become yet in thee and by thee most happy towards which I beseech thee grant me grace to dispose my-self for thy only honour who be Blessed for euer Amen THE XLII CONFESSION O Lord my God what Mercy art thou pleased to shew to my sinful soul Is it possible after so many abominable offeÌ„ces that thou shoudst thus particularly fauour me If it were euer possible to be lawful for thy creatures to exclaim against thee and taxe thee oâ— iniustice it might be admitted them in this thou hast done and doest â—or me the most sinnful and most contemptible of al thy Maiesties creatures If â— had euer donâ— any good they perhaps would not wonder at theâ— but as it is theâ— cannot but at least admire thy infinit sweetnes and Mercy For what sin is there I haue not comitted at least by my wil. But the greater thy Mercâ— the more I hope the honouâ— and praise wil be which thy seruanâ— wil yeild to tâ—ee for itâ— and do thâ—â— thy self I beseech theâ— supply ouâ— defect in this and al other things so that perfect praise may be yeilded to thee in al and by al for euer and euer Amen THE XLIII CONFESSION LOrd with great ioy I desir to celebrat this diuine Solemnity of thy Resurrection Thou hast shewed thy-self in al formes so that the weakest capacities might in some sort apprehend thee who art incomprehensible Thou appearedst a child that thy little ones might conceiue more easily some things that might moue them to loue thee and being as it is were astonished at tâ—y loue towards vs and at thy infinit humility we might thirst after thy example and loue only thee For al thou hast done or said is for our comfort and instruction What hast thou left vndone which might any way further our good if we would but concur with thy Grace But we streying from thee how can we choose but be blind For only in thy light can we see and discern that which only importeth vs to see and know to wit to know thee therby to loue thee and to know our-selues therby to humâ—ble vs in al things before thy Diuine Maiesty For nothing but true Humility can make vs gracious in thine eyes So much as we truly humble our selues so much and no more do we encrease in our loue to thee O how peaceful amidst al storms is the souls of the humble how fauoured by thee though they be dispised by the whole world They are indeed often neglected by men but most conuersant with thee and thine Angels and Saints in heauen Neuer was there euer such acquaintance loue and friendship between any in this world as there is between thy Goodnes and an humble soul that seeketh thee aboue al graces and gifts whatsoeuer and transcendeth al created things that she may adhere to thee in the bottom of her soul. Verily it is so strange that it puttetâ— the heauently Court into admiration that we that haue dedicated our souls wholy to thee should loue seeke or desir any thing besids thee But alas human frailty as they wel know is very great and therefor they also cannot choos but pitty and pray for vs and especially we women silly to all things that this â—orld admires and therefor most contemptible of al creatures if we do not labour for the loue of thee â— the which to do thou dost as willingly enable vs as thou dost the wise of the world if we hinder not thy grace who despisest not any thing thou hast made How much are we to be therefor blamed and condemned if we labour not I say for thy loue Yea to shew thy power thou hast been pleased many times to bring a silly woman louing thee to that wisedom that no creature by wit or industry could attain to the same But where my Lord haue these thy Spouses in these dayes placed there harts Where I say seeing they seek and desir so much the â—auour and praise of the world to haue the friendship of men and by letters and toâ—ens to draw their harts from thee vnto them notwithstanding as good reason it prospereth not with vs in such doing for they by this meanes seeing our defect in louing thee cannot confide in them who are not true to thee but coÌ„trary compare vs to those who profer loue to al and yet as we ought for thee loue none O Lord remoue these scandals from thy Church Let vs though we cannot serue thee in great matters yet let vs I say haue no â—arts but to loue thee no tongues but to praise thee nor eyes but to behold thy creatures as things inuiting our souls to loueâ— sigh pant and â—uen languish after tâ—ee No eares but to heare what is thy will and in fine not to liue but in and for tâ—ee and for thy loue to be subiect to euery human creature as far as it is exacted of vs by thee Giue that humilityâ— which by thy blessed Apostle Saint Paul thou requirest in vs that I may willingly submit my-self to the power of Superiors set ouer me by â—hee It is true I see and hear daily â—hat scandals what discorders and â—hat confusions arise in Communities for want oâ— due submission in subiects to their Superiors but alas my God certeinly a chief cause therof is at least in many who haue good wils becaus thy are not taught to obey tâ—ee interiorly in their souls out of which it would proue easy to them to obey exteriorly wheras now it semes a burthen intolerable and forsooth vnder pretence of greater perfection we often fal inâ— to open rebellion Surely
his owâ— Prays in which and by which we are infinitly happy though of our-selues we aâ—â— able to prays and loue him but in a very poor maner Who can say that desires nothing but to loue and prays him that thâ—y â—e poors seeing h◠〈◊〉 ho is more theirs then â—ey are there own is so rich and to whomâ—othing â—othing is wanting that should make himâ— infinit happines In this let vs ioy in this â—t vs glory without intermission VVhen â—e are not able actually to attend to him â—nd prays him let vs commend our hart â—â—d soul to the saints in Heauen who withâ—uâ— ceasing prais our Lord. Let vs by them do â—â—at which we are not able to do by ourselues â—ea let vs desir him who is his own prays â—o is only able to do as he deserueth to â—pply what he desirs we should wish him Let vs rest in him alone and not in anyâ—hing that is or can be created Let vs not â—eek the guift but the giuer Let vs seek no oâ—her coÌ„fort but to be able with out al comâ—ort to be true to him O how little is al the â—oue we can giue him in coÌ„parison of that heâ—eserueth â—eserueth from vs. VVhere therefor is their â—â—ome in our souls for any created thing Let vs wish and desire and as far as it lies 〈◊〉 vs procure that al loue be giuen to him Let him haue al Glory al Honour prays â—et vs desire the fauour of none but himâ—lone â—lone to whose free disposition let vs stand for time and eternity as absolutly by our â—il as if we had neuer had beeing Noâ—hing we do or suffer let vs esteeme great for our sins deserue we should endure much more Let our whole care tend to the magnifying of him Let his Honour be ours 〈◊〉 Glory ours let vs seek nothing but to 〈◊〉 wholy his who is most worthy to be thâ—â— He is It is his delight to be with the childrâ—â— of men VVhat should comfort vs but tâ— prays and loue him Those that seek him shaâ— find him if they seeke him withal their haâ—â— O who would seek any thing instead of hiâ— or any thing besids him being he is not morâ— willing to giue vs any thing then him-selfâ— heere by Grace and in Heauen by Gloryâ— Let vs adore him in Spirit and Truth al wâ— can giue him is nothing vnles we entirely giue him our selues and that also cannoâ— adde to his Greatnes and Glory yet if we do this so much doth Maiestyâ— esteeme of this guift it being al we can giue him that for it and in requital of it hâ— wil giue vs him-self Al his guifts and graces are as means to the preparing vs for thiâ— end if we vse them rightly with humility according to the iust wil of Godâ— Let vs extend our wil to serue loue prays please and magnify our Lord to the vttermost we are able yea without al limits or bounds let vs desire his Honour til sucâ— time as we may be swallowed vp in the bottomles ocean of al loue prais God iâ— him-him-self in whom and by whom only we can prays him as we ought Let vs loue hiâ— here as far as we are possibly able withoâ—â— â—egard of our selues either for time or eterâ—ity This is the humble loue that feeleth â—o burden This is the true loue that knowâ—th not how to attribute any thing it doth â—r suffereth to it-it-self It chooseth not wherâ—n God should make vse of her but accommodateth its-self to his pleasure in al things â—f it were his wil to haue it so she would â—ather for euer be picking of chips or straws â—hen out of her own election be doing that â—hich is most admired or might seeme to â—er to procure her the greatest reward O â—ou souls on whom God bestoweth this loueâ—hink â—hink it not much to beare the burden not only of your-selues but of al you liue with â—or God beareth you vp in al more then you â—an conceiue or imagin Beware aboue al â—hings of pride for that cast even Angels â—ut of Heauen A soul of prayer as long as â—he keeps humility is in little or no peril of going out of her way Giue to Caesar that is Caesars and that to God that is Gods If there be not somâ—â—hing due to God which cannot be giuen to men or if it were so confused that there â—ere no certainty what were due to the one â—o wit God and what were due for Godâ—o â—o the other to wit man a soul would be so confused as to teaching and leading the way of Perfection that she would neuer know where to begin and where to endâ— or when she did wel or il For certainâ— when the soul doth that by men whâ— ought to be done by God and can be dâ— by none but him It goeth not wel with hâ—â— as for walking in a true coÌ„templatiue coâ—â— She also doth not wel when she would haâ— God do that by himself which he would dâ— by means of Superiors or directors Aâ—â— certainly if a soul be a capable soul of coâ—â—templatiue instructions and be wel grounâ—â—ed in them by help of one experienced aâ—â— walk the way of entire abnegation seekiâ—â— God and not his guifts and be diligent 〈◊〉 obseruing what God wil do by himself 〈◊〉 her soul and wherin he referreth her tâ— others and walk with that indifferency thâ—â— it is al one to her which way or by whoâ— God wil manifest his wil to her She shal 〈◊〉 easily see what and how to do in al thingâ— to please God best as she may discerne thâ— Sun from the Moon And this is to giue thâ—â— to God that is Gods and that to Caesar that iâ— Caesars FINIS Deuout spiritual Reader I Desire none other should cast their eye on this true interne spiritual Booke And I doubt not but your patience wil beare with â—he many faults escaped by a strangers presâ—e And your Charity correct them by taâ—ing your pen in your hand and adding â—hat is wanting a whole word a letter or letters and taking away what is superâ—â—ous One great one I wil particularly duise you of to wit page the 19. l. 22. in â—he preface there wants a not So that you must read wanting not those in steed of wanting those For so it is in the original in her own hand The others the sense wil direct you how to correct Adieâ— The Approbation HAuing read ouer this smal Treatise enâ—tituled The Spiritual Exercises of thâ— most Religious and verruous Dame Gertrudâ— More c. with much comfort and edification seeing the feruent expressions oâ— diuine loue in her pious soul. And finding nothing in it iarring with the vniuersal Belief or Christian Morality of our Catholike Church I haue willingly approued it as such and set my hand heervnto at Paris the 26. of March 1658. Hen. HOLDEN The Approbation THese Confessions or Soliloques writen by the late deceased Dame Gertrude More
knowest with such a conâ—inuall desire and longing after thee â—hat it seemeth easy to me to performe whatsoeuer is exacted by thee For â—hough I be fraile aboue all I can expresse or imagin yet I am confident in thee by whose helpe and power it is possible to giue me to do all that it pleaseth thee to exact of me Teach me to do thy will becaus thou art my God Lett me Loue thee becaus to want thy Loue is a most grieuous affliction to me Farre as thou knowest it is from me to haue willingly a deuided hart to thee Is it possible that hauing but one soule hart I should bestow any of the affection they are capable of on any thing but thee O faâ—r be this from me Nothing that could happen to my soule would so afflict and discomfort me as to see it adhered to any created thing or to it very-selfe willingly to the impediment of my being wholy possessed by thee Make me that thou wouldst haue me that I may as thou exactest prayse thee This shall be my study my care and all my endeauour to sing in my hart songs of Loue to thee who art only desired and sought after by me In thy prayse I am only happy in which my ioy I will exullt with all that loue thee For what can be a comfort to me while I liue seperated from thee but only to remember that my God who is more myne then I am my owne is absolutly and infinitly happy O lett this thy Loue wholy transforme me into it selfe that I may become insensible to all created things whatsoeuer Lett me be wholy possessed by thee who by so many titles laieth claime to me Can I say or think that any thing is worthy of loue but thee O no but if I had then thowsand harts all were to â— little to bestow vpon theeâ— Shallâ— I any more be so miserable as by louing hauing adhering to or desiring any created thing to become estranged from thee in whom I haue placed all my hope loue and desireâ— I haue indeed chosen thee for my only loue light hope comfort refuge â—elight and whatsoeuer ells can be desired or imagined but it was not of â—y selfe but thy mercy and goodnes â—nforced me euen whither I would 〈◊〉 no by sending me the meanes to now how to serue thee and withall â—iuing me grace of loathing all whâ—ch was not to be a helpe to me O â—â—ese thy mercies when I recount beâ—ore thee euen depriueth me of my â—ery senses to see thee to haue been so â—ood mercifull to her who as it is â—ade plaine to me by thee hath offenâ—ed and been more vngratefull to theeâ—hen â—hen any I did either see or heare off â—hall not I therefor humble my soule â—efore thee and at the feet of all for the â—â—â—e of thee who hath been thus tender of her good who of all thine is the last â—nd least and most contemptible the â—hich being so apparent to me I will â—et more and more humble my self â—y desiring to be despised by all for â—â—y honour and glory Thus my Lord â—ust and ashes presumeth to speake â—nto thee and sitting alone I read what write of thee and calling to minde what thou hast done for me I reioyeâ— in the multitude of thy mercy Foâ— nothing can heere be found in what I heere write for my comfort being bannished from him whom till I may enioy as he is in himselfe nothing will â— rest in for nothing can satiat me Yet as I say it alaieth my grief for hauing offended thee and of being thus remoâ—te from my beginning to which mosâ— ardently I long to returne as pure as I was created by thee This my speaking in all my misery to Thee None thereforâ— can wonder at me For as one who desiâ—reth the prefence of her beloued and expecteth when it shall be can take no comfort till she see whom she so much desireth In the meane while spending her tyme sometymes with thinking that this ioy to her will shortly be and sometymes being wearied with long expectation she employeth her self in some thing which may a litle recreaâ— her hart while thus with her it must be and aboue all it is a pleasure to her to heare of him which she cannot â—et see Thus O Lord it passeth euen â—n that loue which will and deserueth â—o passe which none deserueth but â—â—ou And there is no comparison able â—o expresse the loue which is between a faithfull soule and thee For the more we loue thee the more pure and quiet â—ecometh the soule by this thy heauenly charity Whereas alas it fareth â—arre otherwise with vs when we loue any thing out of thee which is an imâ—ediment to thy Loue which misery before thee in the bitternes of my souâ—e I bemoane becaus thou hauing made our soule so capable of thy diuine Loue and so able to haue relation in all to thee it is an ingratitude able to â—sâ—onish me that we should east away our loue vpon that which is so litle ableâ— to satisfy our soule and whereof there is as litle certainty as there is of the â—ind yea euen in a moment we loose the fauour and opinion of one vpon whom we haue bestowed much tyme in winning it O folly which be henceforth farre from me Lett that infinit extent and desirable freedom of my will powre it selfe out wholy vpon thee that at last iâ— may become perfectly vnited to thy diuine Maiesty O how litle worth when â— am with thee is the desiring of the prayse applause and commendation of men who are now oâ— one mind and now of another nothing being permanent vnder the sunn Verily when in thy light I see this truth it seemeth to me to be an intolerable burthen to be esteemed and praised by men whose fauour often maketh vs incurre thy displeasureâ— at least my frailty causeth it so to me Helpe me therefor and make me by all to become truly humble and pleasing to thee who be adored three and one for all eternity to thy infinit glory Amen THE THIRD CONFESSION O That I were able to winne the harts of the whole world to thee which seeing I am not able to doe lett me be no lett at least to any soules of â—eing thee All loue and prayse is due â—nto thee and all paine reproach confusion and shame vnto me which â—rant I may beare without offending thee and then a thousande times wellcome be any of them which may inâ—rease my loue to thee O let me forsak all for thee which thou willest vs to do that we may find thee What is this thou saiest tell me thy poore seruant leaue all Haue I any thing to leaue which is not more burthensome to keepe then it is paine to leaue If I seeke my selfe what do I labour for but my owne paine If I forsake my selfe for thee behold a most sweet peace is found by me Thus there for
most louing and tender maner and beseeching thy assistance in all her streightnesses and necessities she findeth this way of Abnegation sweet aboue all the delights of the world For by rectifying our will and conforming it in all to thyne we walk an easy way and find a â—ast of the ioy which they feele who are in heauen vnited to thee for all eternity with whom lett vs praise thee for euer and euer Amen Amen I beseech thee THE XII CONFESSION SI dedexit homo omnem substantiam domus sâ—ae pro Dilectione quasinihil despiciet eam If any Man shall giue aâ— the substance of his how 's for Loue as if it were nothing He shall dispise it O my Lord and my God to whom only all Loue is due Behold I desire with all my hart to giue all for this thy Loue. But alas what hath thy poore seruant to giue thee Verily nothing that may deserue this thy Loue as a requitall it being aboue all I am or can suffer or do What can I giue thee seeing I haue nothing but what I haue receaued of thee If I giue thee my body and soul what is that in comparison of what I owe vnto thee them indeed I haue consecrated to thee but as due to thee by right not as before appertaining to me vnlesse I â—ould vsurp that which I was to restore to thee What then shall I giue â—hee for this thy loue so much desired and sighed after by me If I reflect vpon my selfe I haue nothing to giue to thee But shall I in this my extream â—ouerty and nothing despair of gaining and obtaining this most desirable Loue of thee which reioyceth my soul euen to name and speak of to thee No No I will not feare to obtain it of thee For if that which I haue and am be as indeed it is short of deseruing this fauour from thee which is of being indeed one of those who seek desire and loue only thy selfe and all others meerly for thee yet I will giue thy-self to thee who art all my ioy and the only desire and treasure of my hart By thy-self I will praise thee and in thee I wilâ— hope to be transformed into that loue which shall be swallowed vp in thee for all eternity Only to loue thee was my soul created and only by being turned wholy into loue can my soul be truly happy What can my soul desire out of â—hee seeing thou art only Good and the most incomprehensible beawty which the Angells are neuer satisfyed with beholding being infinitly delighted while they are wholy turned into the pure loue and Praise of thee We heer in this vale of teares do sigh with teares in our eyes longing to enioy thee and to be freed from the occasions of offending thy sweet Mercy We I say sigh and make our moane to thee while it is dayly said to our soul where is thy God Yea euen I say so speaking to thee where art thou my Lord and when shall I without all mean be vnited to thee that my loue may be intierly bestowed vpon thee and nothing but thy selfe liue and raign in me that without ceasing I might Praise and Adore thee the most glorious and amiable Maiesty to whom all knees ought to bow and prostrat we ought to acknowledg our meere dependance of thee O how plaine dost thou sometimes shew it me that I am nothing and lesse then nothing while I stand before thee neither can any thing be by iustice due to me otherwais then by thy meere mercy if I should neuer so faithfully serue and praise thee For what can they challenge of thee who were not able so much as to moue or be without thee much lesse do any good or suffer any thing purely for the loue of thee Giue me therefor that I may haue to giue vnto thee seeing by my selfe I am not able according to my desire to loue and praise thee by thy-thy-self without ceasing I will praise and loue thee and in thy mercy and grace shall my soul hope to become truly pleasing to thee heere I will by faith adhere to thee and by loue my soul shall both day and night aspire vnto thee till at last by the merits of thy death Passion death shall be swallowed vp in victory In the meane time lett the loue of true Charity instruct me which is more strong then death that I may faithfully serue thee though it be not yet admitted me to enioy thee Lett me rest in nothing but thee and lett thy name be my defence and comfort which to hear and behold doth aboue all earthly things delight and refresh me amidst the stormes of temptations which daily assault me O my God indeed thou art that vnchangeable light which I euer come to consult with in all my afflictions and necessities and beholdâ— to my vnspeakeable comfort and strength I heare thee giuing answers by saying this and commanding that and this I do by resorting to thee often This is that which delighteth me and I fly as speedily to this pleasure as I iustly may from all the actions which are imposed vpon me euen by necessity it self and it exceedingly â—eioiceth me to sitt down and sigh after thee and by speaking and writing to and of thee to become at least for that short time forgettful of all things besids thee This is that which maketh the grieuous but then of flesh and bloud tolerable to me in which liuing my soul by sin cometh often to my grief aboue all other miseries wounded to thee crauing and beseeching for thy own-sake that I may neuer faile to beg and find mercy of thee whom to offend is the only misery that can in this life befal me and no pain or difficulty is feared by me saue so farr as it may considering my extreame frailty be a meanes to make me offend thee O Lord do not reiect me though I haue neuer done any good and am so farr from truly louing thee I will now take the aduiâ—e giuen me to fly be silent and quiet and I will howerly come to learn the song of Loue and Praise of thee teach me to know my self and to know thee I desir that wisdome which despiseth all for loue of thee and only that knowledg do I wish for that securely guideth a soul towards thee and into thee Those that loue thee and seek only to please thee are those which haue a sight in part of what in heauen we shall enioy cleerely for all eternity O what knowledge doth a truly louing soul obtain of thee and how much is her faith confirmed in the greatnes beawty and infinitnes of thy Maiesty but alas they are drawn down by the weight of their corruptible flesh and sometimes euen forgett what they haue with the eyes of their soul seen and learnt of thee and sometimes foolishly think they are something till they feele the effect of this their misery and offend thee
I speak to thee according to his desire still more and more inflame my loue vnto thee Be thou all in all and aboue all vnto me If thou teach not my soul to loue in vain is the endeauour of man speaking and preaching to me Let me â—eare thee by him and let me not so harken to him without that I grow deaf to thee who art within Thy words are works Either speak by others for our good or by tâ—y self in the most interior of our soul. O happines that there should be such a capacity in vs of hauing relation to thee in all things Al things created may faile vs but thou who only canst fatiat our harts canst neuer change or alter but art stil the same and thy yeares shall not faile Thou teachest a soul true Humility and solid vertue In thee nothing is neglected thou art the Maiester of Perfection Thou teachest the simple humble and louing soul thy wayes and giuest her hidden Manna in the strength of which she may walk euen to the hous of her God where she shall praise him for euer and euer Qui ambulat simpliciter ambulat confidenter who walketh simply walketh confidently if we loue thee all will cooperat to good which graunt to thy own Praise Amen THE XXV CONFESSION OMnis populus venit ad Iesum sedens docebat eos All the people came Iesus and hee sitting taught them Can I heare and consider these words written by thy best beloued Disciple and not euen melt into tears of ioy If indeed any had been by thee my Lord reiected I might haue feared and that most iustly remembring my past and present sinnes But to put me out of feare and doubt thy holy Euangelist saith Omnis all To thee therefor I will fly and of thee I will learn how I may Please Praise and loue thee and how by true Humility I may dye to my self and all created things Hereby wholy to liue to thee my all and onely good Thou knowst that my soul without ceasing doth long after thee and to see it-self free from all that which is a hindrance to my perfectly louing thee Oâ— Loue of my Lord God how forcible art thou in a pure soul O who will giue thee to me that my hart may be purged and purified thereby to becom a pleasing habitation for my God O Lord who art Goodnes it self can there be found any ioy comfort or true content in any thing but thee Can there I say for as for me far hath it been from thee to permit any thing but thy self to be sweet to mee O all ye that think it a burthen to be obliged by your Profession to tend to great Perfection and fear the punishment of our doing the contrary raise vp your harts and remember what it is that our Lord exacteth of you by this your Profession and this as it may seeme at first a seuere exaction so remember wel and consider I say what it is and your harts will rejoyce that feare our Lord. It is O it is to loue without bounds or measure It is to leaue your self that you may find God It is to fly from the world that you may hear our Lord speaking peace to your soul It is to submit and subiect your self wholy to him whose will none can resist but as they are permitted by him It is to be subiect to euery liuing creature for him who submitted himsef to the death of the Cross that we might become capable of enioying him This is that he exacteth of vs who haue dedicated our souls wholy to him This is that he requireth which though at first it seeme a burthen to perform yet that which seemeth so is indeed quite otherwise as we shal find in effect if we perform that out of loue which out of his loue to vs he exacteth of vs. For what is sweeter then to loue Yea and to loue him whom the more we loue the more it becometh delightful to vs to loue the more strict our obligation is to him the lighter is our burthen we haue to beare For he doing all that he hath done for vs to bring vs into this state to oblige vs to loue doth also if we be not the hindrance oblige himself to giue vs this Diuine loue of his which is able to vnite a poor contemptible creature to his Diuine Maiesty whom we are not worthy to name O sweet and most desirable yoke well maist thou be said to be sweet thou bringing true and perfect liberty For loue maketh light all burthens and sweetneth al labours and to them that loue it is easy to suffer any aduersities for their loueds sake O let me being obliged by thee to loue let me I say through thy mercy obtain this loue of thre which maketh a soul in all things grateful and faithful to thee Let me not offend thee in my miseries and then come as many as pleases thee for I account that only a misery to wit to offend thee Let all things praise thee and let me in all praise thy Diuine Maiesty with them that loue thee Behold Fire Sea Snow Thunder Lightning Hail and â—he Spirits of storms do thy will and yet I in all contradict it who am capable of thy loue and am inuited to loue so many ways by thee my God O let this thy loue wholy posses my soul that all that is within me may blesse thy holy Name I renounce into thy hands all that is in me contrary to this thy loue Let it wholy consume me that I may be wholy turned into loue and that nothing els may be desired by me Let me be drowned and swallowed vp in that of Diuine loue in which my soul may swim for all eternity neuer more by sin to be separated from thee O when wil this day come that I may return to thee my beginning When will thy Glory appeare When shal death be swalowed vp in victory that I may without ceasing Praise thee my God whose name I write with no smal comfort though otherwise I be so drie that I can scarce think vpon thee To heare thâ—e named or to write to or of thee refresheth my soul in al her misery and to it I flye from the thoughts feares and cares which as thou knowst often oppres me for my humiliation who for my pride deserue iustly to be reiected for euer by thee But in such case I hope both liuing and dying that thou my Lord art my God my Mercy and what is wanting to me I shal aboundantly posses if I confide only in thee which grant that I may not faile to do who only art to be Adored for all eternity Amen THE XXVI CONFESSION ERant appropinquantes ad Iesum Publicani peccatores vt audirent illum There were sinners and Publicans approaching to Iesus that they might hear him This is writ in the Gospel of this day my Lord which doth much comfort my sinfull
sake as also thine owne who art Blessed for euer Amen THE XXVIII CONFESSION INCINA cor meum Deus in testimonia tua Ecce concupui mandata tua in aequitate tua viuifica me-Incline my God my hart to thy testimonies and in thy truth quicken my soul. For behold my soul doth exceedingly couet to performe thy law For thy law is truth and the effect thereof is Iustice and Peace and Ioy in the holy Ghost When I remember how I haue strayed from thee by sin I become ashamed before thâ—e But when I consider thy Mercy I hope stil notwithstanding what is past to become through thy grace which so sweetly preuented me pleasing to thy Diuine Maiesty O Lord inlighten my soul obscuredâ— by sin and ill customes inlighten it that I may walk the way of Iustice and Truth which is the way wherof thou speakest by Esaie the Prophet in which a foole cannot err as he affirmethâ— O let me by true Humility become a fool according to his meaning let me become as a bittle child that I may be capable of entring into the Kingdom of Heauen Certeinly we ought to liue so subiect to thee that we haue no election of any thing as pretending our selues for time or eternity And also we ought to haue in our soul such a relation to thee that in thy ligâ—t in thy truth and wholy according to thy will we perform all we do and out of that respect omit what we omit O my God let me I say walk this way of Loue which knoweth not how to seck it-it-self in any tâ—ing whatsoeuer Let this Loue wholy posses my soul and hart which I beseech thee may liue and moue only in and out of a pure and sincere loue to thee who aboue all ought to be loued and desired Let this fire which thou camst into this world to send and willedst it should burn consume me wholy into it self that forgetful of my self and al created things I may be mindfull of thee my Lord and my God It is thy pâ—omise that where sin â—ath abounded graâ—e shall superbound that the riches of thy Merâ—y may appear and shew it-self to the Glory of thy holy Name which Mercy I beseech thee extend itself â—o me that I may praise thee for euer and euer O that thy pure loue were â—o grounded and established in my hart that I might sigh and pant â—ithout ceasing after thee and be â—ble in the strength of this thy Loue â—o live without alâ— comfort and conâ—olation human or diuine therby â—o become the more conformable to â—hee the beloued of my soul O how â—appy are they that truly loue tâ—ee â—ertainly whatsoeuer they suffer it â—â— very tolerable to them beâ—aus he or whose loue they suffer is thâ—ir helâ—er Indeed my Lord thou art a hiden God but yet not so hidden from â—ur soul but that in some sort we â—aue therin according to our poor â—apacities not only a tast but also sight of thee for as euen thou thy self hast said Blessed are the cleane of hart for they shall see God O sight to be wished desired and longed forâ— becaus once to haue seen thee is to haue learnt al things Nothing can bring vs to this sight but loue But what loue must it be Not a sensible loue only a childish loue a loue which seeketh it-it-self more then the beloued No but it must bâ— an ardent loue a pure loue a couradgious loue a loue of Charity anâ— humble loue and a constant loue not worn out with labours noâ— daunted with any difficulties O Lord giue this loue vnto my soul that â— may neuer more liue nor breath buâ— out of a most pure loue of thee my All and only Good let me loue thee foâ— thy self and nothing els but in anâ— for thee Let me loue nothing in steeâ— of thee For to giue al for loue is â—â— most sweet bargain for Loue is as stronâ— as death O that this thy loue might floâ— in such aboundance into the harâ— of al capable therof that the sonâ— of thy loue and Praise might contiâ—nually be heard through out al the earth O what do we do louing vanity and seeking a lye What do â—â—e abusing the most noble capacity of our souls by desiring that which passeth away like smoak What do â—â—e louing that which is more changeable then the Moon Can any â—hing satiate our harts but our God Can we find true repose out of him â—s any thing worthy of our loue but â—hat Goodnes which is loue it-it-self and â—hom the more we loue the more we â—re able to loue becaus for loue he made vs capable of loue But alas my God my soul was in honour â—nd I knew not it I was compared â—o beasts and by sin became like to â—hem or worse then they Is this my equital for al thy loue Is this exâ—usable that my soul made by theeâ—o â—o be delighted with the food of â—ngels which is loue should delight â—â—â—â—-self with the bread of swine O is â—y hart able to rehears this before â—â—ee and not through excessiue grief â—reak in sunder Could I in my nature not abide to be diâ—loyall to one whom I found to be a faithful friend to me and can I endure to remember my disloyalty to my God Could I with ioy vndergo for my friend disgrace and difficulty and can I endure nothing for my God Was the absence of a deare friend intolerable to me and can I abide to see my self cease at any time to sigh and long after my God O no my God let that be far from me I heere renounce before heauen and earth al inordinate affections to creâ—tures Place with thy own hands tâ—â— loue in their roomâ— that it expelling thence al â—hat now is therein dâ—â—pleasing to tâ—ine eyes thou maâ—â— thy selâ— wholy posses me giuing and distributing my affections and disposing the passions of my haâ—â— according to thy sweet will which only is iust only holy and true iâ— it-self C how sinceare then are oâ— affections when we loue our neigâ—â—bour only in and for thee Theâ—â— we pitty not one and are hard harted to another according to the inclination of our peruerse nature but behold thee in al and consequently willingly serue and assist al for thy loue then we do not shew our seues meek only to our friends but also to those by whom we suffer most contradiction and gladly vpon all occasions extend our charity For there is no true friendship but that which is founded vpon thee and which is maintained without impediment to thy loue This is only the loue of Charity which Charity knoweth not how to repine to be angry to be exceptious to be inconstant to be troublesom to be suspicious or iealous for it regardeth thee in al and desireth thee aboue al It taketh al in good part it wondreth not to see men exceed in words finding it-self so often to offend in
deeds it beareth al things it hopeth al things and it confideth in thee aboue al things it wisheth only that thy will may be performed in al and by al creatures by which meanes it retaineth true peace in al that happeneth O giue me this â—hy loue which worketh such wonderful effects in an humble soul Giue it to me and I wil aske thee no more Let it posses my soul that nothing but thy self may be loued or desired by me Can thy Goodnes find in thy hart to see me thus languishing for want of thy loue seeking my selfâ— in al things and not being able out of true loue to suffer any thing It is true thoâ— hast made my soul to loath all created things and hast shewed me most plainly that all is vanity and affliction of spirit saue to loue thee and that nothing is permanent vnder the Sun â—and that vain and inconstanâ— is euery creature liuing so that 〈◊〉 cannot me thinks if I would so am I held by thee desire the friendship or fauour of any creature but this is not sufficient for me anâ— therefor take pitty on me begging and beseeching grace and mercy oâ— thee It suffiseth not me that my souâ— refuseth to be comforted but I musâ— also remember my God that with his loue my soul may be inflamed Art thou ignorant that my soul hauing had through thy sweet Mercy a tast of thee cannot find comfort in any thing but in inioying of thee O no this is as al other things are most manifest to thee and if thou wouldst not haue had me thus for loue to importune thee thou wouldst not haue made me incapable of being satisfied without thee This which I say I do not speak of presumption but out of the vrgent desir of my hart â—hich hath resolued to conuert it self wholy to thee thou who didst bid me to aske hast promised I shall reâ—eaue thou who didst bid me knock â—ast promised it shall in time conâ—enient be opened to meâ— which â—owre O my Lord when shall it be â—hat without ceasing I may praise â—hee and neuer any more offend thee â—Til which be granted me I wil sigh â—fter thee and in my hart in the bitâ—ernes of my soul I will cal vpon â—hee and somtimes I wil also being enabled and inuited thereunto by thee sing loue songs to my well-beloued who is euer within the hearing of meâ— For thou art not like the louers oâ— this world vpon whom that loue yet which is only due to thee is often bestowed heere to day and â— far off to morrow No no thus iâ— is not between thee and thy louers Foâ— though thou triest them that theiâ— loue may become more pure yeâ— thou seeing them begin to faile vnâ—der their burthen dost quickly caâ—â— thine eyes vpon them and with tâ—â— sweet dew of thy Grace refresheâ— them that by these changes theiâ— loue may grow more strong and bâ— firmely established in thee who arâ— that only thing which is only necesâ—sary for me and which only I reâ—quire of thee Let this thy loue worâ— in and by me becaus thou rewardeâ— no works but thine own and let mâ— loue thee as thou wouldst be belouâ— by me I cannot tell how much loâ—â— I would haue of thee becaus I woulâ— loue thee beyond all that can be imaâ—gined or desired by me be thou in this as in al other things my chooser for me who art my only choice most deare to me Glorious things are said of thee my Lord and God the most absolute and amiable beawty the more I shall loue thee the more wil my soul desire thee and to suffer for thee Let me loue thee for thy self and not any thing insteed of thee and let my whole substance by thy loue and Praise be consumed in me that I may return pure vnto thee who be by al in Heauen and Earth blessed and loued fer euer and euer Amen THE XXIX CONFESSION O My God my only beloued me thinks I heare thee sweetly checking my soul with these words when vnder what pretence soeuer I pretend by my care or vnreasonable solicitude that more then One thing is necessary to my soul therby falling into that multiplicity whicâ— is so apt to dimme and obscure our soul and so contrary to a pure tending to Thee our only good and to a remouing of al impediments between our souls and thee by transcending al created things whatsoeuer these words I say thou often speakest to my hart Quem quaeris mulier viuentem cum mortuis Whom dost thou seek woman one liuing amongst the dead But Lord I answer tâ—ee now in al desir and humâ—lity of hart that I seek nothing but thy felf no guift no comfort or sweetnes no friends but thy self and thy heauenly Cittezens no power but of wishing that thy wil may be my law no honour but thine no consolation but that I may in solitude and silence al the dayes of my liâ—e be able to liue without all consolation human or diuine no recreation by conuersation or other business or imployments but so far as it is necâ—ssarâ— to beare vp my spirit to attend vnto tâ—ee more seriously at conuenient times and rather let al necessary distraction by help of thy Grace serue as a meere cessation then by the least affection to them or comfort in them they should become an impediment to my aspiring to thee For this is a rule thou knowst hath been gâ—uen me by a faithfull seruant of thy diuine Maiesty who indeed gaue me most generall iâ—structions that we might not be â—yed to him or any other creature but might being left more free to thee fly the more freely with wings of Diuine loue which carieth a soul euen in human flesh aboue all that is not thy very self of such force is thy Grace concurring with our will which is by naâ—ure capable of an â—nfinite extent towards thee when as it neither seeketh intendeth desireth willeth nor resteth in any â—hingâ— but theâ— Tâ—is I say was his generall rule that if we did not do â—hings with affection they would cause vs no hurtfull distraction which grant may be so vnto me I beseech thee who am not able without much and often diuerting my ind to indifferent things to attend to thee in my soul at other fitting times and this by reason of my great weaknes of body and head Let al this imperfection in mee humble me and let it be no impediment to my truly louing seruing praising thee and adhering only to thee which is my only desire by al I doâ— or omit Let not my greâ—uous sinnes past or present too much deiect or trouble mee but let them serue to humble my soul and be a meanes totally to subect it to thee and al others so far as it is thy wil it should be Let me praise thee in al whose prouidence and care hath been so infinit great towards me thy most contemptible creature the which
verily I may and must confesse and acknowledge to thee most particularly in this that thou hast so particularly and plainly as thou hast done for my humiliation discouered my sinnes vnto me wherby I might know and confesse myâ— obligation to thee and â—ith al compassion on the sinnes and imperfections of others which they also are permitted to fal into that rising vp their loue may be the greatâ—r when they remember it before thee And this I may add to thy greater glory that thou didst reserue this knoâ—ledg of my sinâ—ul and miserable state from me till by meanes of thy said seruant I was put into the way of loue and aspiring to thee for els it would haue wholy deiected and ouerwhelmed me be thou by al glorified and Praised for thy Mercies to me Amen THE XXX CONFESSION O My Lord God to and before whom only I deâ—ire to powre out my hart and the desires affecâ—tions and afflictions therof For thy owne sake forsake not me who desireth to leaue al for thee If thou wilt thou canâ—t saue me Though I haue neuer to my knowledg done any thing that deserueth any grace or fauour before thee yet meerly out of thine owne goodnes forgiue me my sinnes and haue mercy on me Let thy Mercy which withouâ— any desert of mine preuented me bring me to thee Let nothing for time or eternity but thy felf be desired by me Let not my soul loose it-self by resting in any thing but thee Let me take comâ—ort in hearing of thee and let al inordinate loue to creatures be rooted out of my hart by thee Thou knowst for that which is past I am hartily sorry and it often draweth teares from mine eyes to think that their loue should haue been more strong and powerfull in me then that sweet loue of thine is now which challengeth so ful and whole possession of my hart and soul by so many titles which none can deny to thee Take it now therfore wholy to thy-thy-self and ler me rather cease to be then to giue any part to any but as it shall be distributed by thine own sef thy friends only shall be mine that in fine I may haue only thee for my friend aboue all friends take from me of them thou giuest me as it best pleases thee For so I shal come to loue al in thee and yet they wil be as if they were not as to any impediment to my being vnited to thee Let me without ceasing aspire by loue vnto thee that I may be lifted aboue my self and all created things so to be pure and free vnto thee Amen THE XXXI CONFESSION O My Lord when I remember my innumerable sinnes it seemeth not much to me that I sustain these things both without and within But yet my deare God I may speak to thee in the bitternes of my soul who art my only refuge and comfort in affliction and say that thou seemest to me to shut vp al hope of meanes to help my self by some things which I already do and more am like heerafter to sustain Of whom should I beg help but of thee or strength to beare this to thy honour with conâ—ormity to thy blessed wil Who can bestow this on me but thy-self Thou knowst that since I gaue my-sef to a serious tending to thee I neuer desired the friendship or fauour of any creature liuing Nay to thy honour I speak it thou many times and seueral ways shewed me so plainly the vncertainâ—y instability and changeablenes of al created things that my soul euen loatheth the fauour of any how good soeuer neither do I wonder to see those whom to day vpon occasion I am resolute I may be confident in to morrow be in an humor of interpreting al I haue done or said in another sense then indeed I meant it This indeed thou permittest to the end we may trust in thee alone adhere to thee alone and for to purge our souls of the interest which nature getteth euen in the actions which we do with best intention Thou knowâ—t I neiâ—her desire nor pretend any thing but do wish with al my soul that thy Wil be perfectly accomplished and take this answer from thee which I shal anone recite when I am too â—olicitous of my own good or too much troubled with the preiudice or affliction of those thy sernants with whom I most vnâ—orthy â—inner liue who are in thee al without exception most dearly beloued by me with this answer following of thine I am I say put in mind of my dury where thou saiest Quid ad â—e tu me sequere What is that to thee do thou follow me And I answer thee my Lord that as for me it is good for me to adhere to thee who art that One thing which is only necessary Thou alone suffisest me and al things buâ— thy-self shal be to me as if they were not that I may â—ind and enioy thee aâ—ter whom my soul doth pant and sigh without ceasing longing after tâ—ee with all my forces who art my al and only good No rhirst in any though neuer so weary and tired can be so great for want of that which naturally quencheth our thirst when we pant and are dry with heat and thirst as is the thirst which my soul doth sustain sighing and panting after thee the liuing fountain which yet I cannot enioy til my soul be set free from this corruptible flesh but the more I sigh the more I am delighted to sigh after whomâ— I would so fain enioy The more I loue the more I am yet able farther to loue thee the more I deny my-self the morâ— sweet it be cometh to me to suffer for thee the only beloued of my soul. Wo is me that euer I offended such a goodâ—nes as art thou my God! Certainly my sinns deserue to be punished in an extraordinary maner becaus I committed them more wilfully then ordinary Such was the carefulnes of thy seruant my natural father who was so careful that I should be kept out of al occasions of sin that I might considering the nature also which thou gauest me haue liued very innocently But what through my greater fault and negligence is due to me for my sinns be it supplyed by the superaboundance of thy Mercy which I will from henceâ—orth with all my forces extol and I beseech thee remember thy true seruant my said Father who through his care preuented my further euil and also I offer to â—hee him whose happy instructions hath made thy yoke sâ— sâ—eet and thy burthen so light to me who as thou knowst found it so greiuous and heauy before I took my instructions from him that I was weary of the yoke and despaired euer to beare thy burthen with any comfort or quiet whereas afterward being put into a course of Praier and MortificatioÌ„ by hâ—m my greatest obligations seemed to be most most desirable burthens for al thy benefits be thou by al praised for
this was not the practise of Saints who yet sound often great opposition and mortification by meanes of Supeâ—iors which they bearing patiently and obeying stil out of an internalâ—egard â—egard of thee in their souls al turned to their greater aduancement in â—hy loue and their Superiors at last â—y thy help concurred to that which â—hey desired so far as it was thy wil who hast disposed of al things in order and iustice and nothing can be wel done but that we do out of an internal light from thee and out of obedience to thee to whom obedience is due in al things whatsoeuer Thou hast set an order in al things and euery thing as it is ordained by thee wil concur to a most heauenly harmony but corrupting thy meaning al things are out of order and peace on al sides is disturbed O how happy are they whose souls are in a right way to hear and follow thy wil and who do nothing without consulting with thee in their soul giuing that to God which is only Gods own and to Caesar that which is due to Caesar for God for both these obediences are necessary to make a true spiritual life For in vaine do we giue to thee if we deny Obedience to them who are set ouer vs by thee and also in vaine is it to please and haue the fauour of our Superiors if we internally neglecâ— to haue in al things relation to thee from both these errors deliuer me I beseech thee that my soul may be a peaceful habitation for thee Let me humbly behaue my-self towards al and let me not measure my case before thee by the opinion my Superiors and Sisters haue of me for they may applaud me and yet it may stand il with me before thee and they may take al in another worser sense then thou knowst I meant it and that iustly and yet it may go wel between thy goodnes and me through thy abound Mercy THE XLIV CONFESSION O How happy are those souls who loue nothing but thee Verily there is so little stability in al things but in thee that it is a strange thing that we should liue so miserable liues thou offering vs a most peaceful and quiet life if we would but seek thee alone who art more present to vs then we are to our selues and by thee our soul doth liue more then our body doth by our soul Those that posses thee haue al things and those who want thee if they had al the world can afford do yet indeed posses nothing If we desire to loue where our loue may not be lost what shall we loue but thee whâ— hast said Sicut dilexit me Pater ego dilexi vos As my Father loued me so haue I loued you Do we not therefor wel deserue to liue in al perplexity and misery if we do not leaue to loue al other things to set our whole loues vpon thee â—ho hast made vs such sweet promises yea let vs hear what thou dost further add Qui maneâ— in me ego in eo hic fert fructum multum Who remaineth in me and I in him bringeth forth much frâ—ict O let me be remain in thee and then let al the world be against me I desir not my God by any particular fauours in this life to be more certain of thee But I do beg of thee that by true Humility Obedience and Patience I may be more confirmed in thee by true loue only in simple faith in al desolations crosses pains disgraces miseries adhering to thee the only desire of my soul and not resting in any gift or grace of thine whatsoeuer that I may at last for thy oâ—n sake find fauour in the eyes of thy Diuine Maiesty notwirhstanding my sins and ignorances in which I haue hetherto liued for whieh thy mercy oâ— forgiuing them me be thou for euer blessed and praised by al thy creatures Amen Amen THE XLV CONFESSION O Lord my God to whom vpon al occasions I most vnworthy with thy leaue presume to speak and ask questions in my simple maner Open the eyes of my soul that I may know and vnderstand thy Wil and Law and Grace to perform them to thine honour Thou my God who art more mine then I am mine own do not reiect me speaking and writing to thee For what do I desir or wish but thee Or what are al things to me without thee Surely nothing For thou hast shewed me through thy sweet mercyâ— and grace without any desert of mine own that al things are vanity but to loue and please thee which I beseech thee that I may do with al the forces of my hart and soul. For truly there is no true peace or comfort out of thee Let me therefor know my-self and know thee that in al I may praise and please thee Amen THE XLVI CONFESSION LORD it is read to day of thee that Saint Mary Magdalen approaching to kis thy feet it would not be admitted her by thee If it may please thee I wil humbly aske of thee the meaning of this For I am somewhat amazed at it For when she came to thy feet loaden with many and greiuous sins thou admittedâ—â— her most easily and when she had a long time been trained vp in thy happy school of Perfection and had accompanied thee in thy Passion and mourned for thee at thy tomb taking no rest til thou her beloued returned to her again and besids she offered to haue taken thee away from al the world if they would haue but told her where they had laid thee and yet dost thou now deny her to touch and kis thy blessed feet What shal we think she loued thee less now then when she first desired to loue thee Or shal we think that as her loue grew more and more to thee thine grew less and less to her No God forbid I should euer admit of such a thought But O my Lord thou being â—isedom it-it-self intendedst to bring this great and ardent louer to a loue more spiritual then that with which she loued thee when tâ—ou conuersedst with her before thy death and Passion For it is thy custom with great mildnes to receaue sinners and when they grow more strong in loue thou seemest to treat them with more seuerity that they at first may hope in thee and go forward in thy loue and seruice and that after being a litle strengthned with light and comfort from thee thou mayst try them many ways least they should attribut that which they haue done to their own forces and that fauour which they haue receaed to their own labours and deserts which thou knowst we are very apt to do if thou didst not through permitting vs to fal into temptation shew vs our own frailty But this blessed Saint whose intercession I most humbly implore for thy sake whom now none can depriue her of did not think that by denying her to touch tâ—y feet she receaued wrong
For her humble soul thought it-self too vnworthy of such a fauour when thou didst put her in mind that she was to conuers with thee in a more spiritual maner then before neither did she reflect on the labour pain and grief she had sustained For as thou knowst loue feeleth no labour nor complaineth of any burthen For only to haue seen thee aliue again was sufficient to make her forget al former afflictions For her sake and for al their sakes that loue thee be merciful to my sins and bring me by true loue to be vnited to thee with them where for euer without ceasing I may praise thee my only beloued Amen THE XLVII CONFESSION O LORD my God I wil speak to thee again and again I wil cal vpon thee the entierly beloued of my hart I wil melt away in thy praises and I wil inuite al thy spouses to to seek thee alone aboue al thy giâ—ts and aboue al creatures For in thee alone is true peaee and comfort to be found and enjoyed O how happy should I esteem my self if I were able to praise thee without ceasing or be any cause that any should more and more languish with thy loue What should I do being born down with the weight of mortal flesh and diuers internal afflictions so that I can many times scarsly think on thee What should I do I sayâ— but liâ—t vp my hart with my hands as it were by main force sometimes by words and sometimes by writing vnto thee which I do not do as to one that is farr of from me but as to one who is more neere to me then I am to my-self and of whose Goodnes whose Wisedom whâ—se Beawty whose Mercy and most absolut and incomparable greatnes I am more assured of then I am of any thing I see with my corporal eyes O who would not loue this Goâ—nes this Maiesty and submit them-selues â—o this most amiable beloued oâ— our souls If any comfort or happines were to be found out of him we were somthing excusable in negâ—ecting and forgetting our chief good â—ut seeing we cannot euen in this mortal liâ—e find any content but by louing praising and truly seeking and seruing him we are too miserable and too blame for loosing our-selues by resting with loue and inordinat affection in transitory and visible things O far be it from thy spouses to set their affection vpon any thing bâ—â— thee or to bereaue thee of the affection which from al is to thee only due Al that we are and haue is too little for thee Let vs not therefor of that little we haue take from thee O let vs loue thee aboue al and al others in and â—or thee I do bemoan this misery aboue al miseries that those who haue dedicated themselues to thee should seek the loue and fauour of others to their own and the others impediment in thy loue and seruice Oâ—tentimes we comply and correspond vnder pretence to get temporal means the while neglecting thee who feedest the birds and clothest the beasts of the earth who neither sow not reap neither are they solicitous of any thing but depend of thy meere prouidence and yet thou prouidest for them Can we think thou wilt haue less care of vs that haue left al the world for thee then of the vnreasonnable creatues made only for our seruices Hast not thou said by the Spirit of al truth that first seek for the Kingdom of God and his iustice al things els sâ—al be added to you O let vs therefor leaue al things truly that we may confide in thee casting our care vpon thee who wilt nourisâ— our souls and bodies if we wil but faithfully and constantly adhere vnto thee our supreame and only Good Let vs leaue pretending any thing but thee For often euen vnder the pretence of getting praiers of others we poure out our-selues in the meane time neglecting to haue relation to thee who wouldst more willingly giue then we could ask if we would but truly and faithfully adhere to thee and not stray out of our selues hindering both our selues and others from adhering to thee to whom we owe al we are and can do and and therefor are greatly to blame when we do not endeauour to loue thee with al our soul with al our mind and al our strength which grant for thy own sake we may endeauour to do to thy honour and glory who be praised loued and adored for al eternity Amen THE XLVIII CONFESSION SHAL not my soul be subiect to God O my Lord far be it from me to wil or desire any thing but according to thy diuine wil which is only holy Let me neuer resist thy wil signified to me by any means whatsoeuer Let my soul be wholy turned into a flame of diuine loue that I may aspire and tend to nothing els but thy-thy-self alone Blot out my sins that my soul may return to thee by loue from whom by sin it hath strayed O let nothing but this desir of thee my God posses my hart Let that be my solace in labours pains temptations desolations and al afflictions of body or mind Let not my hart drawn by thee to seek after nothing but loue be so base as to couet desir and rest in any thing but thee Thou art my life my choice and my only beloued When I hear theâ— but named my Lord God it forcible draweth me into my-self that I may attend vnto thee forgetting my-self and whatsoeuer els besids thee for which benefit be thou inâ—initly praisâ—d Amen THE XLIX CONFESSION OMNIS â—piritus lâ—udet Dominum Bonedicite omnia opera Domini Domino laudate super exaltate eum in saeoula Let euery spirit praise our Lordâ— Blesse our Lord al the works of oâ—â— Lord praise and exalt him for euer O my God that I were able with a pure soul and louing hart to extol thy praise But alas thy praise is not seemly in the mouth of a sinner But shal I for this hold my peace If I do yet permit me this comfort for thine own sake that I may inuite others more worthy to sing and set forth the praise of thy diuine Maiesty with whom yet as the last and least my soul shal ioin in the praise of thee our deare Creator and in that which is so worthily possessed by thy sweet Goodnesâ— I wil rejoice with al the forces of my hart and soul O my holy and deare delight what a most harmonious melody would refound ouer al the earth if thy wil and iust disposition took place in al things Behold al thy works praise thee euery one in their kind only man for whose help and comfort al other things on â—arth were created â— peruerteth the order of thy Iustice by miâ—uâ—ing that noble free wil which thou gauest him to choose and loue thee with O what couldst thou haue done more then with such a noble gift to haue endued vs Certeinly
thou hast made is good if it be put for that vse â—or which thou madst it Do not we see that euen Spiders and Serpents do draw the venom from the earth both for the purging it and also for a farther vse that man therof maks and yet these to our seeming are of the least worth as to good among thy creatures But it is our mis vsingâ— abusing and mis-applying thy creatures that makes the world turn vpside down The hail thunder storms rain snow did the three Children in the furnace inuite to praise thee as good in themselues being made by thee But nothing is so good in this world but it may be peruerted and abused For if man whose soul was made by thee in such purity by sin becometh so foul how can this choose but breed disorder in the world al things therein being giuen by thee to be disposed by him and vsed by him as â—â—lpâ— to â—â—rue thee while we liue heer But ô my God I wil speak to thee and I wil cal vpon thee who art Wisedâ—m it-self If thou smile at my folly yet behold me sinner and instruct me in thy Law which is sweet aboue al delights of the world and to serue thee for loue is that which I only desire In al my miseries and afflictions of body and soul thou despisâ—st not any soul flying to thee and dilating my-self to thee I do comfort and strengthen my hart which aspireth to nothing as thou knowst by this my speaking to tâ—ee but to ease my soul by begging help of thee and declaring to thee my only friend my sins and miseries For if we fly from tâ—ee whither go we but out oâ— one darknes into another Who can discouer our wounds to vs but thy-fâ—lf who when we acknowledge them dost also cure the languishing diseases of our very souls O in thy light let me see light that so al impâ—diments may be remoued between thy Godnes and my souâ— My â—oul can neuer return to thee til it â—e purged and purifyed by graceâ—nd â—nd Mercy Of my-self I can do nothing Thou therefor that madst and redeemedst me saue me who euery moment should perish if I were not assisted by thee I see nothing or hear any thing but it giueth me new cause to praise thee and to seek thee aboue al gifts graces and creatures Grant me therefor to serue thee in that maner thou wouldst be serued by meâ— For I am not able to do any thing good of my self Let me by Humility and truâ— obedience return to thee from whom for my sins I deserue to be separated with the diuels eternally but thy Mercy which is aboue al thy works pardon me and giue me Grace to liue better heerafter O my God me thinks some times I haue so liuely a feeling of my own nothing and see so plainly that we depend wholy of thy grace and Mercy that I wonder how it is possible I should anâ— more be able to presume of my-self in any thing whatsoeuer But alas this passeth away and like dust carried away with the winde so is my soul with vanity In which my sin and misery I groan to thee from the bottom of my soul who art my helper and my deliuerer from al mine enemies wherof the greatest is my self and to thee I declare my iniquities which are without end or measure to the end I may glorify thee the more who shewest mercy to me and reiectest not the most disloyal of al thy Maiesties seruants For which let heauen and earth praise thee seeing I am not able by any thing to shew gratitude to thee For I caÌ„ do nothing but declare thy Mercy and beseech thysâ—lf to supply my defect in praising thee For thou only canst do it as I desire it should be done The very Seraphins are too short of being able according to thy worth to praise thee and al thy Angels and â—aints accompt themselues as dumb in comparison of thy deserts from them For al thy sweet Mercy be thou thereâ— for by al not as able but as willing to praise tâ—ee magnifyed for euer and euer Amen THE XLII CONFESSION O My Lord and my God If none haue much forgiuen them but those that loue much what wil become of me This day we read in our Office that Saint Marie Magdalen coming to thy feet which she watered with her reares heard that comfortable answer from thee to wit Go in peace thy sinnes are forgiuen thee but it was out of this regard that she loued much This answer thou madst to her whose hart in silence spoak vnto thee doth much comfort my sinful soul. But yet when I remember how void I am of that which was the necessary disposition for her soul to hear those comfortable words thy sins are forgiuen thee go in peace it draweth teares â—rom mine eyes to see how far my soul is destitute of that pure loue which preuaileth with thy diuine Maiesty What shal I say What shal I do Or wherein shal I hope I am not fit to plead for my-self my sinnes indeed are so many and so great and as for the loue which only thou desirest behold my soul is destitute of it For if I haue any towards thee my God it is but a sensible childish loue which is a loue little beseeming the bestowing vpon such a God who is al Good Beawty Wisedom yea euen Goodnes and Loue it-it-self to whom is due a loue which is able to suffer al things for this loue is a strong loue more strong then death it-it-self the which kind of loue is far from me who am blown down with the least blast of temptation and cannot endure any disgrace desolation or difficulty whatsoeuer as it beseems a true louer of his But notwithstanding my poueâ—ty and misery yet I wil hope in him and wil approach to his feet who is Mercy itself There my Lord and my God I wil in filence sigh and weep both for my sinnes and for my defect in louing thee who art worthy of al loue and Praise whatsoeuer There I wil beg this loue so much to be desired There I wil wish and long for itâ— and from thy feet I wil not depart til thou denounce to me thy sins are forgiuen thee and saiest to my soul go in peace This voice I long to hear in my hart that I may with the voice of exaltation praise thee for euer Amen THE LIII CONFESSION AMen Amen dico vobis quia receperunt mercedem suam Math. 6. Amen Amen I say â—nto you they haue receiued their reward These thy words my Lord and my God come into my mind so often as my thoughts dare to think of hauing deserued any reward at tâ—y hands and serue as a motiue to subiect my soul totally to thy diuine Maiesty before whom now I do professe and acknowledg that my desirs and endeauours are so defectiue in comparison of what is to thee due from me that I may and
but to be whoiy his who is most worthy to be that that hee is If it is his delight be to be with the children of men what should comfort vs but to praise and loue him Those that seeke him shal find him With al their heart O who would seek any thing besids him seeâ—ng he is not more willing to giue vs any thing then his own self heer by grace and heerafter in Heauen by glory Let vs adore him in spirit and truth Al wâ— can giue him is nothing vnles we entierly giue him onr selues and that also cannot add to his greatnes and glory yet if we doe this so much doth his diuine Maiesty esteem of this gift that for it and in requital of it he wil giue vs his own self al his gifts and graces are a meanes for the preparing of vs for this end if we vse theiâ— rightly with Humility and according to the iust wil of Almighty God Let vs extend our wil to serue loue praise please and magnify our Lord to the vttermost we are able â—ea wthout al limits or bounds Leâ— vs â—esire his honour til such time as we may be swallowed vp in the bottomles Ocean of al loue and praise God in himself in whom and by and in whom only we can praise him as we ought Let vs loue him as far as we arâ— possible able without regard of our selues either for time or eternity This is the humble loue that feeleth no burden This is the loue that knoweth not how to attribute any thing it doth or suffereth to it-it-self It chooseth not wherin God shâ—l make vse of her but accommodateth her-self in al things to his diuine pleasure If it were his wil to hauâ— it so she would rather for euer be picking vp chips or straws then out of her own election to be doing that which is most admired or might seeme to her to procure her the greatest reward O you souls that God bestoweth his loue vpon think it not much to beare the burthen not only of your selues but also of al that you liue with for God beareth you vp in al more then you can coÌ„ceaue or imagin Beware aboue al things of pride For that cast euen Angels out of heauen A soul of prayer as-long as she keeps Humility is in no peril of going out of her way It is certainly true that God giueth himself to them who forsake al I say al and not by halfs with reseruing what we please to our selues but to al that forsake al he giueth himself without exception of persons and he that pleaseth our Lord neâ—deth nor feare al the diuels in hel It is a wonderful thing to see the variety of opinions that are or may be about the best vse of those things that of themselues are indifferent or at least are not euil one holding this aâ—d another that euery man according to his fancy and as Saint Paul saith abounding in his â—wn sense No wonder then that those that liuâ— and conuerse with others and namely in a Religious Community do easily fal into occasion of iars and differences with others whilst euery one pretends the truth and the best to be of her side howsoeuer it be indeed and therefor ones nâ—ture wil easily take occasion of iarring with oâ—hers if it be not mortâ—fyed by restraint from what it is inclining to by such occasions It is only the diuiâ—e vertue of true discretion that is able to discern and iudg for ones own practise what is good better or best of al in the vse of those indifferent things The more truly mortifyed the â—oul is the cleerer is such light of discretion in her and wil increâ—se in her if she be stil solicitous more and more to liue to God in her interior and to dy to her-self and to al created things by simply regarding God in al she doth oâ— omitteth intending him alone in al â—â—â—ngs It is a true prouerbe that it is an easier matter to corrupt the mind of one then of a great many Wherefor we must remember that it is a good and happy thing for Brethren to dwel in One or rather by true loue and charity in that One Which is truly necessary to wit in God For no loue is true but that which is in him and for him and without impediment to his loue Al other loues are false slippery peruerse and vaine as not being founded in God the ground of al true and happy loue nor being referred to him and his loue But the true loue which is the diuine wil make al others deare vnto vs for his sake and none deare but in hâ—m and for him It wil make vs in capable of accounting any to be our enemies how hardly soeuer they treat vs because in al things we wil regard God that permitteth such difficulties to happen to vs to the end our fidelity to him may therby be tried and so not regaâ—d with any auersion the party who afflicteth vs And it wil be sufficient for vs towards the pacification of our soul vpon the hard or bitter vsadge offred vs that we remember that he hath suffred it to happen to vs for our good who only knoweth what is best for the humbling of vs and the abating of our pride the which must be done if wil be pleasing to God to whom now and euer I commit my-self Amen Vnum sit mihi â—oâ—um id est omnia in omnibus Let one be al to to me that is Al in Al. This was a Poesy bestowed on me and my Parteners by another the truth wherof I pray God may anâ—werably be in the harts and loues of vs and of al other souls whatsoeuer The simple exâ—rcâ—se of the wil being faithfully and perseâ—eraÌ„â— prosecâ—ted through Gods concurring gâ—â—ce remoueth in time al impediments beâ—ween our soul and God and the soul by loue cometh so to transcend al created thiâ—gs yâ—a euen her own self that al creatures are to her as if they were not as to any hurtful distraction they cause to her or as to any other impediment between her and God the which can be only by inordinate adhering in affection to those creatures A true spiritual internal life is so priuate and secret between God and the soul that others cannot easily disâ—erne it no not by by the external effects of it For in her exterior cariadge â—he is common and general as hating singularity by meanes wâ—erof she euoideth much occasion of pride and walketh the more seâ—urly between God and her Those â—hat liue an internal life do so wiâ—hdraw al natural inordinate affection from creatures that they often therfor are censured by superiors equals to neglect others out of pride But they abhorring to haue special interest in any do proceed so far as they can according to true charity and mind not what others iudg of them they desiring only in al to dischardg their duty to God â—hom they
for thy abominable sins Giue al Glory vnto him with out whom thou couldst not so much as-haue a being My God be thou Adored and Exalted by al who art Blessed for euer and euer Amen Thou O sweet Iesu hast pronounced with thine own blessed mouth these words Consueor tibi Pater Domine Caeli terrae quia abscondisti haec à sapientibus prudentibus reâ—elasÌ„ti â—ae parâ—ulis Ita Paeter quoniam sic placitum fuit ante te I confesse to thee Father Lord of Heauen and Earth that thou hast hid these from the wise and prudâ—nt and reuealod them to little ones Yea Father for so it wel pleased thee These are the souls to whom thy yoke is sweet and thy burthen light these obserue and see in the light of thy truth that al thou dost or ordainest is iust and true and that it is our sin and ignorance only that peruerteth the order of thy Iustice. O let vs crie out to thee and prepare our souls that in thy light we may see light For it is not human wisedom or knowledg that wil serue our turn to find out thee in the bottome of our soul for which we were created and for which our soul hath such a capacity that the very Angels are amazed to see so great an honour and fauour to be offered and bestowed vpon so poor and frail a creature and yet that we should turn a deaf eare to our beloued who saieth his delight is to be with the children of men O how pittifully doth this most sweet and merciâ—ul God of ours lament our losse and misery of loosing that happines of enioying him in our souls in an exâ—raordinary maner yea euen in this lifeâ— if we did not cast away our loue and affect on vpon created things neglecting and forgetting the noble capacity wherewith the hath most bountifully endued our souls Hear therefor what he sayeth by his Prophet Be ye astonished O Heauens vpon this and the gates thereof be ye extreamly desolate vpon it for two euils hath my people done viz. They haue left and forsaken me the Fountain of liuing water and haue digged for themselues cesternes Cesterns that are broken that are not able to hold waters O wo is me my God that I should thus haue â—orsaken thee Whaâ— meaneth this thy great Mercy I should haue lamented mâ—ne own misery of not only neglecting to seeke after thee alone but also of most miserably offending thee infinit waâ—es and thou bemoanedst my case as if some preiudice were therby to come to thee O what wouldst or couldst thou loose by my not being so happy as truly to seek after thy loue truly nothing seeing thy Glory cannot be added to or diminishâ—d by my misery But thy infinit Charity which brought â—hee into the world to suffer and dy for me is the reason of thy merâ—fful calling vpon my poor soul to which thou hast said I wil not the the death of a sinner but rather that he be conuerted and liue In the hope of this promise I fly to thee Thou who art able to do al thâ—ngs helpe me that can do nothing Thou knowst I haue placed al my hope and comfort in thee alone and that I deâ—est al that is in me which is displeasing in thine eyes Far be it from me to haue any other intention in any thing I do or omit but simply to please thee I renounce al inordinate affection to al created things whatsoeuer and whatsoeuer I do that is not done sincearly for thy loue and honour I most willingly submit my-self to any punishment thy iust and Merciful Iustice shal lay vpon me Giue what â—hou commandst and then exact what thou pleasest O my God is it much I serue thee whom al the world is bound to serue O what is more sweet then to serue thee for loue without any pretence of our own commodity for time or eternity Truly in this lyeth hidden the greatest comfort that a soul banished from thee is capable of receauing To â—hee who art the supreame and only true Good by al creatures be al Praise eternally giuen Amen This which next of al followeth she there writ as taken out of S. Augustin viz. I was not acquainted with that true interior Iustice which iudgeth not by custome but by the righteous Law of Almighty God O My God apâ—d te est fons viâ—ae in lumine tuo videbimus lumen Qui sequitur me non ambulat in tenebris With thee is the fountain of life in thy light we shal see light who followeth me walketh not in darknes and they that walke not in thy light can neuer iudg of things according to thy iustice but iudge according to custome or their own sense This true light is thy gift and Grace which thou only impartest in aboundance to tâ—e meek and humble of hart and to those who endeauour to regard and seek thee alone in al their actions in simplicity and sincerity of hart and who intend thee only in al they do or omit Vnderneath the picture there annexed of saint VVilliam Duke of Aquitain she had written as followeth viz. O my God through the meâ—its and intercession of this most glorious Saint be merciful to me sinner and giue me grace to loue and praise thee with al my soul and strength and neither for time or eternity to seek or desire any thing but only thy-self alone simply and purely by sincere and perfect loue resting in thee my God aboue al gifts and creatures and Adoring thee who art God Blessed for euer and euer Amen Amen Mans life on earth is a continuall warfar and liuing but a short time he is replenished with many miseries VVatch therefor and pray that you enter not into temptation By Humility and Praier we shal be able to passe through any difficulties To the image of death there annexed together with other enseiâ—nes of death she added these following words viz. O how little to be esteemed or desired is al that passeth away with time Thus far of her Deuotions written by her in her Breuiary within ihe year before she dyed HEERE FOLLOVV SOME other Deuotions of the same pious soul D. Gertrude More A short Oblation of this smal work by the writer gatherer thereof to our most sweet and Merciful God MT GOD to thee I dedicate This simple work of mine And also with it hart and soul To be for euer thine No other motiue wil I haue Then by it thee to praise And stir vp my poor frozen soul By loue it-it-self to raise O I desir neither tongue nor pen But to extol Gods praise In which exces â—le melt away Ten thousand thousand waysâ— And as one that is sick with loue Engraues on euery Tree The Name and Praise of him she loues So shal it be with me IF the glorious light of thy Church Saint Augustin whose hart was so inflamed with loue that the whole world was a witnes thereof
of my death obtain for me wretched sinner confidence in his Mercies which are as thou knowst aboue al his works I am not worthy to loue but he is worthy of al loue and Adoration I cannot without great ioy remember these following words of the Prophet I saie hoping his Goodnes wil for his own sake giue me leaue to apply them to me poor and sinful soul though I desetuâ— nothing of my-self neuer hauing done him any faithful seruice in al my life Chap 43. v. 1. And now thus saith our Lord that created thee and formed thee Feare not because I haue redeemed thee and called thee by thy name Thou art mine 2. When thou shalt passe through the waters I wil be with thee and the flouds shal not couer thee when thou shalt walke in fire thou shalt not be â—uâ—ned and the flame shal not â—urn inâ— thee O blessed Saint make intercession for me that I may be confident in him who thus aboundeth with Mercy Amen 3. Because I am the Lord thy God the Holy one of Israel thy Sauiour 4. Since thou becamest honourable in mine eyes and glorious I haue loued thee 5. Feare not becaus I am with thee 6. And euery one that inuocateth my name for my glory I haue created him formed him and made him 8. Bring forth the blind people and hauing eyes the deaf and he that â—ath eares 9. Let them giue their witnes be iustified 10. In very deed you are my witnes saith our Lord and my seruants whom I haue chosen that you may know and beleeve me and vnderstand that I my self am 11. I am I am the Lord and there is no Sauiour beside me and there is not that can deliuer out of my hand 16. Thou saith our Lord that gaue away in the Sea and a paâ—h in the vâ—hâ—menâ— waters 18. Remember not former things and looke not on things of old I am he that takes cleane away thine iniquities for mine own sake and I wil not remember thy sins 26. Bring me into remembrance and let vs be iudged together Tel me if thou â—aue any thing that maiest be iustified Hethertho the words of the Prophet I saie S. Iohn 2. v. 12. I writ to you litle children becaus your sins are forgiuen you for his name And now my children abid in him that when he shal appeare we may haue confidence and not be confounded of him in his coming My dearest beleeue not euery spirit and euery spirit that dissolueth Iesus is not of God Feare is not Charity but perfect Charity casteth out feare Let vs therefore loue God becaus God loued vs. This is the Charity of God that we keep his Commandments and his Commandments are not beauty O infinit Goodnes who art Charity it-it-self powre thy Grace aboundantly into my poor foul I inuoke thee my God by the merits and intercession of al thy Saints in Heauen and seruants on earth to haue mercy on me now in this my last extreamity Al I desire is that in life and death I may be disposed of according to the multitude of tâ—y most aboundant Mercies a fountain neuer drawn dryâ— Al my ioy is in that thou art my God and that I am at thy disposing Though I am poor in al vertnes yet I am confident to be partaker of thy Merits ó sweet Iesus which thou liberally bestowest according to thy wil and pleasure O be thou blessed in al thou disposest O my God who art al I desire Into thy hands I commend my spirit who art blessed for euer Amen The most learned of D. S. Augustin saith Aiâ— eruditissimus Doctorum Augustinus O eternal Truth and true Charity and O aeterna veritas vera Charitas Deare Eternity Thou art my God to thee chara Eteruitas Tu es Deus meus I suspire day and night This is that subliue Tibi suspiro die ac nocte Hic est sublimis ille Contemplatiue Augustine Contemplator Augustinus Cuius cor Charitas Christi vulneraueraâ— whose hart the Charity of Christ had wounded O my deare Saâ—nt whose great Humility I can neuer to much praise and admire pray for her to whom thou hast been in her greatest afflictions and miâ—eries euen as a Father and Mother for which be exhibited honouur to thee by the most sweet hart of IESVS our Sauior the Son of the liuing God by which and from which doth most aboundant sweetnes flow to al the elect In the power that he gaue thee being one by whom he bound and loosed sinners giue an aboundant benediction to thy poore seruant and beg of my God that I may neuer seek or intend any thing for time or eternity but his honour and Glory and that I may so humble and subiect myself vnder his mighty hand thaâ— for his loue I may willâ—ngly submit my-self in what maner he pleases to al creatures Let me commit and commend my-self to thy protection who art a careful receauer of al my petitions and who art one who in a most particular maner Godâ— hath giuen me confidence in in al â—he necessities wherein my soul doth stand need of an Aduocat and friend O happy change to leaue al friends on earth to find the more certaiu assured friends and Intercessors in Heauen who are neuer absent neuer vncertain nor euer do they fail as those in this world are subiect to do Be therefor mindful of me I beseech thee in my life also in my last extremity and remember that when affrighted with the multitude and greiuoushes of my sinnes and imperfections I durst scarsely cast vp mine eyes to Heauen or cal vpon God and his Blessed Mother who might iustly disdain so vngrateful and contemptible a creature Yet by thy meanes and being incouradged by thy example and reading thy life and books so ful of Conâ—idence and sweetnesâ— I found my hart lightned and my spiâ—it refreshed and my soul exceedingly comforted finding in thee and by thee expressed what a good God we haue and that as his Mercies are aboue al his works so he is able to forgiue more then we can offend Thou knowest thy very name when I am sad and afflicted doth refresh me to behold it and seemeth to smile vpon me in my miseries assuring me of â—hy helpe in al my soul standeth need of thee in this my pilgrimage and ban shment from my God who is my only loue life desire and al my happines Tâ— whom for euer be al Glory Honour anâ— Adoâ—ation by al as wel on earth as in Heaâ—enâ— and whom by his sweet Mercy and thy intercession I desire and hope to loue and sâ—rue for euer and euer Amen Omnes qui habebant infirâ—os ducebant illes ad Iesum sanabaâ—â—ur Al that had diseased brought thâ—m to Iesus and they were curedâ— To whom therefor should I fly in my manifold infirmities but to thee my Iesus my Goâ— and my Sauiour Who is worthy oâ— our loues our thoughts our harts and our souls but
Obedience by a certain persons means is much feared in vs by our Fathers And that is that we sleight neglect and contemne al books and instructions but Fa. Bakers VVhich is as God knows quite otherwise For though as may be gathered by what I haue heere collected and noted I do arme my-self by al the means I can imagin against those Obiections which are made by those of contrary ways that I may hold on my way which seemes to be so proper and fit for my desired estate which I haue taken vpon me by my profession I haue no reason to alter for ways I am not able to vnderstand my conscience being â—atisfied with this I am in and my Supeâ—iors neuer yet condemning the same Yet â—s I say I am far from sleighting other instructions but hold they are very good for â—hem for whom they may be proper which they do not seeme for me Because the more I read or hear of them the more confusedâ— without coherence they seeme to be Foâ— I find nothing but saying and vnsaying as iâ— seemes to me as in one place vrging mosâ— vehemently the necessity of mental prayerâ— and in twenty other places making it a mosâ— impossible thing to giue ones self to prayeâ— without more endangering our saluation then before And where they treat of Obedience they treat of as it seemes to me in such maâ—ner that it is almost impossible to find ouâ— how or which way one may performe 〈◊〉 in any certain or quiet maner But thâ— more they speak of it the more impossiblâ— thing they seeme to make it And verilyâ— could neuer put it together to make otheâ— sense of it do what I â—an then to draw iâ— to this as they expres it that it is a moâ—â— seruil thing and much like that where witâ— sâ—ruants are subiect for fifty shillings a yeâ— in the world and no further effect coulâ— come to me by the practise of it as thâ—â— seem to meane as to any true knowledâ—â— of God or my-self then would haue comâ— by my being a seruant in the world onâ—â— forsooth by reason it is performed by vs iâ— vertue of our vow of Obedience whicâ— makes them acts of greater perfection anâ— consequently of much more merit But thâ—â— is a subtile point fitter to be disputed then nâ—eessary to be beleeued For I know and that by experience that it is possible to comply with our external Obediences and performe them so that the Superior shal haue one in good esteem and be able to discouer no great defect in our performaÌ„ce of them And yet thâ— soul as far from knowing what true obedience is as she was when she came into Religion performing them al that while but in a natural maner of which proceeding nothing can be expected but a natural effect Pride and disobâ—dience encreasing daily in the soul which is an entrance if God preuent it not to vnspeakable inconuenience But yet though I could draw no sure and solid ground for a soul by Obedience according to such instructions yet the defect may be in me as to those ways and not in the instructions For some haue affirmed they find much good by them of which I am exceeding glad For so souls may liue Quietly Obediently and Humbly in the howse it is al one to me by what meanâ—s or by whom God Almighty doth it And there are some in the howse that I should aduâ—se rather to read such instructions then Fa. Bâ—kers if I were worthy to giue aduise And this I would do if they weâ—e both priuate men but much more now these instructions are deliuered by the Confessor whose place deserueth an extraordinary respect which to my powre shal euer be giuen him or any other in his place whosoeuer he be But yet I must needs say that of al in this howse I could neuer see but one who could discourse and distinguish his points in and of Obedience and draw out of them a setled quiet and satisfactory course but that when he is gone they be as far to seeke as they were before in the vnderstanding of it For another wil expres it in another maner and so vnder al while they liue they must as it were begin again This therefor was that which made me so affect F. Bakers instructions at first when he deliuered them because I saw they were grounded vpon God not vpon him who could neuer fail whatsoeuer became of him And by this regarding God in al and doing al out of Obedience to him our soul becometh so humble that it liueth in a maner as subiect to al she liueth with as any one can be to any Superior in the world She troubleth not her head disputing how which way and in what maner she shal obey in this or that but she simply obeys in al as far as her frailâ—y wil permit and as willingly would she be the most abiect and most neglected in the howse as euer she was willing to do any thing in al her life For hauing recours to God maketh her insensible to those things so fat as may stand with flesh and blood And God doth send and giue a soul that seeketh nothing but sincearly to loue and please him such occasions to humble herself which to none can be seene becaus the knowledge and cause is wholy within herself that it is of more force to humble her then her being neglected of al the world would be though that be also a great help and a great fauour of God For her soul can neuer be pure and free for the ascending to the praise of God til it be very humble which the more a sonl endeauoureth to be the more Peace doth she enioy and the freer accesse doth she find to God and the lesse impediments between him and her soul. For this true Humility and Obedieuce to God which Fa. Baker doth so vrge a soul to in al his Words and Books is an immediate disposition to that which S. Paul wished to vs. VVhich is that our conuersation may be in Heauen And neuer was there such perceptible friendship loue and correspondence beâ—ween any in this world how great soeuer their loue might seeme as there is between those souls and our Lorâ— and his Angels and Saints in Heauen VVhich though it be not so perceiuable to sense as the other which is founded vpon that alone yet by Faith and loue the soul doth more plainly and certainly enioy it then we can be certain of any thing which with our coâ—poral eyes may be seen and such a confidence doth accompany his loue that she desireth not to be more certain of any thing She can wish then that she dependeth wholy of her God alone whose wil is aboue al mast deare to her and to whom she often cryeth out in her soul with the glorious S. Augustin saying That al that aboundance that is not her vâ—ry God him-sâ—lf is to her but extreame penury And therefor she
feareth not any want of temporal meanâ— For she accounteth it too great an happines and honour that by the want of that which is necessary for the sustenance of nature she should haue the occasion the sooner to enjoy him her only desire whom while she liueth here she cannot fully enioy Becaus noue can see Godâ— and liue til which be granted her al thingâ— seeme as nothing to her For she longing and sighing only after him nothing can comfort or satisfy her soul while He giueth not him-self to her Yet in this banishment she remainâ—th content becaus Hiâ— wil is by her euen in this life preferred before her owne Although those instructions before by me mentioned do much seeme to be like the Iesuits as I gather by their books yet I hold them to be nothing so intelligible as theirs but more confufed by reason he would bring these and Fa. Bakers into one make a coÌ„pleat life for a soul out of both VVich if he to wit the Compiler of those instructions she much misliks for contemplatiue souls can do for his own vnderstanding and practise yet I shal think he wil find few that wil be able to do in it as he doth but wil confound one with another and he able with quiet and satisfaction to practise neither For those that cannot vse any discourse to be held to it it doth them little or no good And those that can do nothing but by the means of discourse wil profit as litâ—le by other ways Now for my own part I do profes I could neuer find good by discoursâ— neither did I stand in need thereof For it was an easy matter for any that could haue giuen me instructions for the way of loue which is by the exercise of the wil to persuade me that to loue God seeke after him alone was a most happy thing and that it alone was able to make me truly happy for I did desire this exceedingly of my-self and was very desirours to dispose myâ—myâ—self for such a course betwixt my soul and God as might make me moâ—t pleasing to him and make me not as I then was such a stranger to him And this I thought was by me to be brought about by a means which I was very defectiue in And that was by asking of questions of those who were most lâ—kly to tel me what I should do to compas this my desire Which I failing in and when I did ask was yet as far from knowing as I was before I thought to get it by reading and the more I read the les I did vnderstand which made me almost quite out of hart But going to Father Baker almost in a desperate case He told me my way must be by Prayerâ— for which he gaue me some instructions according as he deliuereth them in his Ideots Deuotion and referâ—ed me for the rest in that point to God VVhich he doing and giuing al other instructions for other things sutable I found presently that course of lâ—ue which I so much desired And though I went so simply to work that I desired to know nothing â—or curiosity in readâ—ng those things which help to this course is very dangerous though in themsâ—lues they seeme but simple yet God did make al things to me so plain that was necessaâ—y for me to know that I wondred to see such an alteration in my soul. Yea by may saying the diuine office of which meerly by my extraordinary memory I had gotten a little vuderstanding he did so enlighten and instruct me that no industry of mine own could haue attained such knowledg for this my only purpose of louing God and humbling my-self as I had euen thus for nothing for my pains and industry was so little that it was not so much as to be esteemed And thus God of his meere Mercy dealeth stil with my soul for which if I by not humbly grateful no punishment is sufficient for me But I hope though I be so frail and weak yet his Grace wil in al assist me which I beseech you to begg of him for me It sussiseth not for the soul that there is in God himself whom the soul seeketh after Simplicity or Vnity but there must also be al possible Simplicity in the soul herself for the making her fit to treat with God and thereupon become vnited to him The more simple or one that the soul is which is that the more she is free and rid of al thoughts of creatures which cause multiplicity the liker is she to God who is simplicity itself the more apt and worthy to become vnited to Him And therefore al the cunning and industry of a spiritual maister should euer be by al lawful means to rid the soul of al multiplicity incombrances blocks and al other things that are enemies to the forsaid Simpliciâ—y in soul. And indeed every image oâ— a created thing is an impediment to the said simplicity And therefor is to be reiected at such time as the soul is in case to apply it-self immediatly to God He that is a true spiritual Maister wil in such a case take great heed how he lay any thing on the soul least it caus the forsaid impediment Euery soul of her own nature is apt to contract multiplicity and impediments enough and if she haue withal a Master to deuise and lay more on her how can she be but held back and be indisposed for the said perfect immediat treaty wiâ—h God And one only impediment is impediment enough and hinders al. The spirit of Simplicity doth bring and caus much Peace in the soul for tending wholy towards that one thing which is oâ—ly necessary It maketh the soul as insensible as it can towards al other things digestinâ— and passing ouer with patience vnkindnesâ— iniuries whereby her life becometh proâ—perly a life of Patience Also as this simplicitâ— is grounded vpon plain and simple instruâ—ctions so is it and must iâ— withal be as we founded vpon simple and plaine dealinâ— with God and Man Simply intending Goâ— and auoiding al double dealing and al vâ—due intention A true spiritual life should be one â—onâ— continued thread lasting from the time oâ— his conueâ—sion to the end of his life Saint Paul reprehendeth those who are euer learning and neuer â—ome to the perfection of knowledg Such are they who yelding to temptations loose their supernatural light and fal into a state of lesse light which is more natural then fupernatural and â—therefore is but darknes in comparison of the other light and always is deceitful and erroneous as to the â—inding of the right way towards God Whereas the other said internal light within then proceeded from a Superior caus or guift that is more supernatural The things absolutly necessary for those who shal begin and prosper in a true spiritual course are these that follow 1. INstructions proper for a contemplatiue life 2. Secondly an aptnes to vnderstand and practise the said
Religious of the English Conuent of Cambray of the holy Order of Sâ— Bennet pious fspring of that Noble and Glorious Martyr sir Thomas More Chancellor of England contayning nothing but a true practise of that diuine Booke of the Imitation of Christ restored of late to the true Author Iohn Gerson Venerable Abbot of the same Order approoued by al for the mirrour of Christian and Religious perfection needs no Approbation but a serious recommendation to al such as desire a true pattern to attain to the perfect loue of God by affectiue prayer and practise thereof Sic censeo ego Parisiis 1. Aprilis 1658. Fr. VVALGRAVIVS Doct. Theol. Monachus Prior Benedictinus CONFESSIONES AMANTIS THE CONFESSIONS OF A louingâ— pious soule to allmighty God THE FIRST CONFESSION MY Lord we often read in our office of the Breuiary that those that forsake all for thy sake shall receaue a hundred folde in this life and life euerlasting in the next This we read and heare this was spoken by thy owne mouth and therefor of the truth thereof we cannot doubt nor in the hope â—hereof can we be deceiued presupâ—osing we on our part be not wanting of that which is necessary to the perâ—ormance of that which thou exactest But tell me I beseech thee my Godâ— tell me I say for thy owne sake what iâ— itâ— that thou exactest of them who shalâ— obtaine this thy promise for I see maâ—ny leaue their parents friends acâ—quaintance their fortunes their ricâ— possessions contrey and all and yeâ— is it plaine that they finde not this hundred folde in this life that is the forerunner of the euerlasting in the next For I see their state is a burthen to them and the obligations of Obedience and religious obseruance is esteemed by them a great seruitude and burthen What is the meaning of this my Lordâ— Shall I doubt that those who resolutly and willingly forsaâ—e all the world for for thee would sticke at forsaking themselues also seeing that by forsaking and denying themselues they should find thee in a most particular maner in their soules Is such forsaking of ourselues to be accounted a loosing of our selues O no! but it is a most sweetâ— and happy exchange to leaue oâ—â— ownâ— wills for to performe thine to be subiect for thee to euery liuing creature is not a burthen but the greatest â—iberty in this world But alas my God the reason why we finde thy yoke a burthen is because we beare it not with thee by which only it is to be made an easy yoke If soules who haue actually forsaken the world and in desire themselues also which most comming into ReligioÌ„ are desirous to do were but putt into some course between thee and their soules by those who had the care of them or authority ouer them they would not as thâ—y doe fly backe from their first intention but would euery day more and more by conuersing with thee get more light to know thy will strength to performe it But being ignorant how to conuerse with thee and how in all things to haue relation to thee thy yoke becomes more and more burthensome to them and euery day they fall into new difficulties and inconueniencies and are in danger at last to fall into open rebellion against their lawfull Superiors and some of them into strange friendships a thing which is worthy to be bewailed with blouddy teares that harts capable of thy loue and by profession consecrated therevnto should so miserably loose themselues in powring out themselues where and from whom no true comfort can be found or had O Lord remoue these impediments from those who are thine by so many titles lett them know thee and of thee that they may loue nothing but thee and lett them loue thee that they may know themselues and their owne weaknesâ— and also thy power and Maiesty O my Lord how infinitly is my soule bound to praise and loue thee since by meanes of a faithfull seruant of thine I haue been instructed in thy law and taught how to haue in all things relation to thee my only beloued by which means all Crosses miseries paines disgraces temptations are most tolerable to me I hauing thee so present to whom I may speake or write and by whom though I am contemptible in the eyes as I iustly deserue to be of all the world I am not yet despised or â—eglected for which infinite mercy â—ll praise and honour be giuen to theâ— O when shall I be gratefulâ— to thee Or â—hat shaâ—l I render for all thou bestoâ—est on me I haue nothing but a hart desirous to loue and praise thee but for ability to do either alas my God it is wanting to me O that all loues might be wholy conuerred to thee At least lett those who haue dedicated themselues to thee cease to desire any thing out of thee Send them meanes to know how sweet it is to haue no friend but thee and to be neglected by all but thy sweet mercy O can that soule that loues her God For very shame complaine To any other then himselfe Of what she doth sustaine No way to her was euer sound Nor euer shall there be But taking vp thy Crosse my Lord Thereby to follow thee This is the Way the Truth the Life Which leadeth vnto heauen None is secure but only this Though seeming nere so euen Those that do walke this happyâ— path IESVS doth company But those who go another way Will erre most miserably And in this way do not think much That thou dost much endure No though it be from holy men For God doth this procure That thou maist seeke himselfe alone And putt thy trust in him And not in any creatures liuing How good so ere they seeme For suffring by the meanes of th' ill Will little thee aduance But to be sensur'd by the good Goes neere to thee perchanceâ— Alas we shew but little â—oue If we must choose which way Our Lord must try our Loue to him And not in all obey We must submitt our selues to him And be of cheerefull hart For he expecteth much of them Who be of Maries part For she must beare a censure hard From all without exception But thou O Lord wilt her excuse Who art her soules election If she will patiently sustaine And be to thee attent Thou fauourably willt iudge of her Who know'st her harts intent For all but thou as well she sees May erre concerning her They only iudge as they conceiue But thou canst neuer erre Complaine not therefor louing soule If thou willt be of those Who loue their God more then themselus and Maries part haue chose If all thou dost be taken ill By those of high perfection And further if thou be accus'd To be of some great faction Our Lord will answere all for thee If thou willt hold thy peace And from contentions and complaints Willt patiently surcease Leauing all care vnto thy God And only him
are thy Lawes The more perfectly we performe them the more delightfull is thy yoke They were made by thee out of thy loue to vs and if we loue they will be most easy and pleasant to vs. For indeed where thou biddest vs leaue and forskae all that we may find rest in our soules thou speakest to vs as being sensuall For when we leaue our freinds riches honours pleasures yea and euen which is most of all our very selues whaâ— haue we left or forsaken Some thinâ— indeed as it seemes to vs these thing are when through blindnes and ignoâ—rance we esteeme them as benefit and comforts but doing it vpon 〈◊〉 word we find we haue left nothing â—â— find thee who art all things We haue left our friends who are incident to leaue vs when we stand in most need of them We haue left honour which being had proueth nothing ells butâ— meere burthen to vs. And so in fine nothing is there to be left which if 〈◊〉 did but loue our owne peace and quiâ—â— without all further respect we would choose as the very best what thou doâ—â— exact For vertue is amiable in it selfâ— and those that had but a very shew of it as to what it is indeed euen among the HeatheÌ„s were honoured for Godâ— Who therefor would not follow the my God in whom alone is to be founâ— true good Thou teachest the milde and humble thy wayes and thou restâ— willingly in a peacefull hart What caâ— bring true peace to our soule but tâ—â— â—oue Giue this Loue therefor to me â—ho wisheth and deâ—ireth only that â—n all I may be true to thee THE FOVRTH CONFESSION O My Lord and my God to whom I dust and ashes am not worthy to speak Yet heare me my Lord recounting heere before thee thy owne â—ords spoaken by thy seruant in thy name who art truth it selfe Venife filij â—â—â—ite me timorem Domini docebo vos Proâ—ibe lingâ—am tuam è malo labia tua ne â—juantur dolum Diuerte à malo fac â—nam inquire pacem persequere eam Conte ô Sonns Hearâ— mee I will â—each you the â—eare of our Lord. Forbid thy tongue from euil â— thy lips that they speake not guile turne â—rom euil and do good seeke peace proâ—ecute itt Heere thou biddest me as thy child come to thee and thou willt teach â—e thy feare as that thou art my Lord. â—eere thou biddest me refrain my tonâ—ue from guile and my lippes that they speaâ—k not guile and also hate euill and do good inquire afteâ— peace and follow it these last words inâ—deed comprehending all But of whoâ— shall I inquire peace my Lord my Goâ— of whom I say shall I inquire to leaâ— it Truely of thy selfe who in teachinâ— me the way of peaoe canst giue me graâ—ce to follow it Of thee therefor I desiâ—re to learn whose words are workâ— Speak to my hart speak so that I may heare and follow it Giue me the Humility which knoweth no guile Giue me the Loue that accompanieth it Lâ—â— thou knowest that there was neuer more necessity of begging in this kind thy helpe because humble Loue is now of the world allmost vnknown yea euen of them who should teach it the resâ—â— the wisedome of thy truth is sett a sideâ— and that which is the wisedome of the world beareth sway ouer all out of which it groweth that euen Humility Obedience and Charity the most noble vertues that are or can be are exacted and practised euen by way of humaine policy which maketh so litle vnion in the world beâ—weene them â—hose whole study ought to bâ— how they might loue and draw most forciâ—ly all the harts and soules in the â—orld to the pure loue of thee O Lord how farr haue our sinns cast vs from â—hee In lighten my soule O Lord I â—umbly beseech thee while heere to my greif I do in the bitternes of my soule rehearse these things befor â—hee whom I most contemptible and â—nworthy find in all so willing to â—ear and help me If we would loue we should aboundantly partake of â—hee For nothing is held by thee too deare for them who alone aboue all creatures and comforts seek the pure â—oue of thee Out of this true loue betâ—een a soul and thee there ariseth such a knowledg in the soul that it â—oatheth all that is an impediment to â—er further proceeding in the Loue of thee O Loue Loue euen by naming â—hee my soul looseth it self in â—hee Nothing can satiat my soul my Lord as it is well known to thee but â—o be swallowed vp in thee for all eternity No knowledg which heer we can haue of thee can satisfy my soul seeking and longing without ceasing after thee By faith we are certain of thee and by Loue we in some sort experience in our soules thy greatnes and goodnes thy beawty and sweetnes which more confirmeth vs in the hope of thee O what knowledg is to be compared to that which is taught the humble by thee which tendeth yet only to thy making her vnderstand her owne nothing and meer dependance of thee Thy words as my deare S. Augustin sayth speaking in his wonted maner to thee do-â—â—eâ— smile vpon those that neither seek oâ— desire any thing but thee What cansâ— thou deny to such as thus loue thee Verily thou seemest so enamoured of them as if thou wert forgettfull of the infinitnes of thy Maiesty The more they become humble the more they are regarded by thee and the more in thy light do they perceaue their vnworthines to be thus aduanced to loue thee which the more short it is of that which in will they desir by more and more humility to become before thee the more they endeaâ—our to become gratefull to thy infinit mercy O who can expresse the ioy that an humble soule takes in being despised for thee Verily nothing doth she esteeme so great a burthen as to be fauoured honoured esteemed or applauded by men whose opinion she feareth may deceaue her through her great frailty O how little is the opinion of men to be esteemed seeing they are so â—â—ekle inconstant and easily deceaued but thy iudgments my Lord God are true and iustified in themselues be thou my witnes and defender who â—â—nst not be deceaued and then lett all the world censure me as they please a good conscience is better then a thousand wittnesses giue me this then and I shall easily passe through all things Speak my Lord peace to my hart that I may attend to thee alone my only beloued Shall I after all thy benefits desir any thing beside thee O no my Godâ— farr farr farr be this misery from me after my soul hath been thus vrged by thee to sigh long and thirst without ceasing after being vnited with thee THE FIFT CONFESSION TELL me my Lord I beseech thee what can my soul pretend if it seek any thing with thee which is an impediment
thee but if she presume any thing of herself what perillsâ— and danger she is subiect vnto and she apt to fall into none can conceaue much lesse expresse And to this effect of shewing a soul how to walk securely writeth thy great seruant the Author of the following of Christ in his 21. Chapter of his third book whose words with great ioy I read and before thee speaking too I will heere bring them in beseeching thee to instruct me in the true practise of them For they contayn the way in which a foole cannot erre and without the practise of this our soules lye open to all the snares of the Diuell thine and our enemy No instruction did she so much regard so frequently reflectâ—on or more volue and â—â—â—olve in her mind nor more delighted in â—hen this that followeth being meerly of â—er own finding and obsâ—ruing in the said â—ook which she was familiar in and no â—aruaile considering the excellency and â—ecessity of it for the purpose which she hath mentioned being the securing of one in a Spirituall course thus therefor doth he say â—peaking to her soule Super omnia in omnibus requiesces â—â—ima mea in Domino semper quia ipse est â—anctorum aeterna requies Da mihi dulâ—sâ—me amantissime Iesu in Te super â—mnem Salutem Pulchritudinem super omnem Gloriam honorem super omnem â—â—tentiam DignitateÌ„ super omnem ScieÌ„tiam Subtilitatem super omnes Diuitias Artes super omnem LaetitiaÌ„ Exultationem superomnem famam Laudem super omnem Suauitatem ConsolationeÌ„ super omnem Spem Promissionem super omne Meritum Desiderium super omnia dona munera quae potes dare infundere super omne Gaudium iubilationem quam potest mens capere â—â—ntire Denique super Angelos Archangelos super omnem Exercitum Coeli super omnia visibilia inuisibilia super omne quod Tu Dâ—us meus non esâ— Quia Tu Domine Deus meus super omnia optimus es Tu solus Altissimus Tu solus Potentissimus Tu solus Sufficientissimus Plenissimus Tu solus Suauissimus Solatiosissimus Tu solus Pulcherrimus Amantissimus Tu solus Nobilissimus Gloriosissimus super omnia in quo cunctâ—â— bona simul perfecte sunt semper fuâ—runt erunt Atque ideo minus est insâ—fficiâ—ns quiâ—quid prâ—ter Teipsum mihi donas aut de teipso reuelas vel promittâ—â— Te non viso nec plene adepto Quoniam quidem non potest cor meum veraciter requiescere nec totaliter contentari nisiin Te requiesâ—at omnia dona omnemque Creaturam transcendat Aboue all things in all things my soule thou shalt euer rest in God for hee is the eternall rest of the Saints Grante Mee most sweet and louing Iesus to Rest in Thee aboue all Creatures aboue all Health and Beauty aboue all Glory and Honour aboue all I owre and Dignity aboue all Knowledge and Subtility aboue all riches and Arts Aboue all ioy and â—ladnesse aboue all fame and Praise â—boue all sweetnesse and Comfort aboue â—ll Hope and Promâ—se aboue all meritt â—nd Desyre aboue all Guifts and prefents â—hat Thou canst giue and impart aboue all ioy and Iubilee that the Mind can reâ—eiue feele lastly aboue Angells and Archangells aboue all the heauenly Host aboue all things visible and inuisible and aboue All that Thou art not my God For Thou my Lord God art good aboue all goods Thou alone most high Thou alone â—ost powrefull Thou alone most full and sufficient Thou alone most sweet and comfortable thou alone most beautifull and louing Thou alone most noble and Glorious aboue all Things in whom all â—oods together are most perfectly haue beene and euer shall be And therefore it 〈◊〉 too little and not sufficient whatsoeuer Thou bestowest on Mee besides thy selfe or reuealest of tâ—y selfe or promisest whilst Thou art not seene nor fully obtayned For surely my Hart cannot rest nor be fully contented vnlesse itt rest in Thee and transcend all guifts and Creatures whatsoeuer All things desires and loues are vainâ— But only that which tends To God alone our cheifest good And all things ells transcends My soul therefor by this sweet Loue shall day and night aspire And rest in God all things aboue My Loue and lifes desire And while I liue I le neuer cease To languish for his Loue Breathing and sighing after him Till he my life remoue For since â— am not where I loue How can I comfort find But only in the song of Loue By Loue to me assign'd And where so ere â—his word is 〈◊〉 loue It yeilds a siluer sound But if that word I misse in it Me thinks I want my ground Nothing so simple can be pennd If it but treat of Loue But that it serueth in some sort My sadnes to remoue And shall my soul by senselesse loue Which yet is neuer true Bestow more loue where it is lost Then where 't is only due â— no my God but rather lett Such folly be to me A meanes to vrge my sinnefull soul To Loue more fernently And henceforth lett me draw no breath But to aspire by Loue To thee my God and all my good By whom I liue and moue No Stagge in chace so thirsty is Or greedy of sweet spring As is my soul of thee my God While I heere sighing sing My soul where is thy Loue and Lord Since him thou canst not find O cheere vp hart be comforted For he is in thy mind To him relation thou maist haue As often as thou goes Unto the closett of thy hart Thy griefs for to disclose As silly Lambes from rauening Woolues For help to Sheapheards fly So shall my soul in euery case For help and councell hye To thee my God by humble Prayer In hope and confidence That thou my Lord willt succour me And be my soules defence And seeing that my God is rich How can I say I 'm poore And hee more myne then I myne owne What can I wish for I more And in his Maiesty and power Much more I will reioice Thâ—n if of all in heauen and earth I had commaund and choice My God one thing alone thou know'st I feare and apprehend Which is my Lord for to displease Whose mercies haue no end From all that doth displease thyne eyeâ—â— Be pleas'd to sett me free For nothing ells in heauen or earth Do I dâ—sire but thee And lett me rather death embrace Then thee my God offend Or in my hart to giue thy place To any other freind Nothing would greiue my soul so much As in me to perceaue Any affection in the world That thine would me bereaue I know thou must possesse alone Or els we are not thine In such good plight as we should be If light to vs did shine As thou desirest it should do By grace our soules within For which
are all the helps we haue Intended and haue been Imparted and bestowed by thee That we might liue alone To thee who satiat'st pure soules With ioyes that are vnknown And wo to them a thousand times Who interest haue in any Or haue deuided harts to thee After thy gifts so many For thou hast purchased our loue At too too deare a rate To haue a partner in our hart Which iustly thou dost hate O this thy wrong makes Angells blush O make it farre from me Since that I am both body and soul All conseerate to thee And I also will greiue with them To see thee haue such wrong From soules selected by thy self To sing with them the song Of Loue and praise to thee O God And euen in this place To Contemplate thee as we may O sweet and happy grace If we would dy vnto our selues And all things ells but thee It would be naturall to our soules For to ascend and be Vnited to our Center deare To which our soules would hy Being as proper then to vs As fire to vpwards fly O lett vs therefor loue my God For Loue pertaines to him And lett our soules seek nothing ells But in this Loue to swimme Till we absorpt by his sweet Loue Return from whom we came Where we shall melt into that Loue Which ioyeth me to name And neuer can I it too much Speak of or it desire Since that my God who 's Loue it selfe Doth only Loue require Come therefor all and lett vs loue And with a pure aspect Regard our God in all we do And he will vs protect O that all things vpon the earth Re-ecchoed with thy praise My euerlasting glorious God The Ancient of dayes And it I wish with all my soul Incessantly to sing But seeing this I cannot do My sighes to heauen shall ring Yea if I writ out all the sea Yet could I not expresse The ioy and comfort I do feele In what thou dost possesse No gifts or grace nor comforts heere How great so ere they be Can satiat my longing soul While I possesse not thee For thou art all my harts desire Yea all that I do craue In earth or heauen now and euer Thou art all that I would haue And I do wish with all my soul That to thee I could pray With all my hart and all my strength Ten thowsand times a day Lett peoples tribes and tongues confesse Vnto thy Maiesty And lett vs neuer cease to sing Sanctus Sanctus to thee These are his words my Lord God which whosoeuer practiseth shall find a Spirituall internall life so easy sweet secure and void of all questions that they will walk euen in this bannishment where our life is tearmed and that most iustly a continuall warrefare with a heauenly peace and security For to that soul who proposeth nothing to herself but thy selfe alone aboue all gifts and creatures what can interpose it selfe for to harm her while she remaineth thus confident and humble between Maiestyâ— and her soul. Certainly so subiect doth such an one liue to thee and to all others in that maner as shall be exacted by thee that there can nothing carry her away while thus it stands with her to any errour of vanity and her loue is so founded in true Charity and practised with such Humility and so in her very soul that nothing can interrupt her conuersation with thee Besides in a soul who walketh vpon this secure ground of only seeking thee and only resting in thee such a diuine light doth shine that she iudgeth according to the iustice of thy Diuine will and not according to sense or custome which in these blind days takes place allmost in all things of true reason and this for want of hauing recourse to thee my Lord who art the only true light and of this defect it proceeds that the diuine ways of Loue are now held so perillous and insecure in which my God thou hast an infinit wrong seeing that we were made only to Loue and attend to the praise of thee our Lord. It is true those who will pretend to lead a Spiriâ—uall life and yet seek not in all to deny themselues but desire this gift or this grace this fauour or that comfort lett them pretend for their excuse in it whatsoeuer they please do oâ—ten times miserably deceiue not only themselues but also many others and bring an internal life wholy into a scorne and contempt to the preiudice of their owne soules and also of many others But I wish that those that do this simply by being for a Spirituall life vnapt might giue themselues to that which by Superiors should be found most fitting for them and noâ— be a cause that thy sweet mercy anâ— goodnes should haue such wrong as that other soules who were fit should be hindred from hauing relation to thee by which their soules would be turned wholy into Loue by a vehement desire and longing after thee that one thing that is only necessary and from this house To witt of the Benedictine Nunn◠〈◊〉 Cambray The same she meanes for Paâ—â—â— issued thence and where her natural Sister of the same Spirit Gouernes at present I beseech thee for thy own sake keepe this misery which of all other is the greatest that I can comprehend oâ— imagin THE EIGTH CONFESSION BLESSED is that Simplicity saith my foremencioned Author in his fourth book of the Following of Christ that forsaketh the difficullt way of many questions Those are his words in his said diuine Booke where he proueth the way of Loue to be so easy and secure as I haue before signified O how happy are they who follow thee in Humility and Simplicity of hart for these haue few doubts which are the cause of questions The more a soul is void of doubts the more capable is she speaking ordinarily of these secret wayes of the Diuine Loue For commonly her way must be to resign herself to thy will What roome is there left then for questions Yet when it is thy will that in a reall doubt she ask thou teachest her how to proceed in it that it may be a help to her soul and no hindrance which seldome happens when without thy leaue and sending she presumeth to endanger herself to be intangled by falling out of one doubt and question into fiue hundred others Lett it be with my soul O Lord as it is said of Anna the Mother of thy Prophet Samuel that she turned her countenance no more towards seuerall waies For hauing been taught and instructed by thy sweet mercy that One thing is to me only necessary lett me not loose my selfe by following or trying those seuerall waies of which she speaketh I haue as thou knowst my God had sufficient triall of them to the great misery and difficulty of my poore soul for that time lett me now sing and that from the bottom of my soul that it is good for me to
according to thy owne hart but proceeded from the holy Ghost the Spirit of all truth who speaketh by the Prophets and Apostles for the comfort instruction and illumination of such as are true members of our holy Mother the Church how weak and contemptible soeuer they be In the beleif of which Church and in hope of thy mercies which I haue always experienced to be great towards me thy poore seruant I fly to thee in all my doubts and obscurities which sinne ignorance and imperfection cause to my soul in her way â—owards thee her only desired Beloued â—he by whom thou speak this had â—â—cepted any I should not haue daâ—d to haue applyed it to my selfe â—ut as it is I should do thee wrong â—o fly from thee when thou bidst me â—â—me and be illuminated Though my â—â—nnes be great yet thy mercies exâ—eed all the sinnes in the world I â—ill therefor come to thee that my â—â—ce be not confounded I will approach â—o thee the only true light that my souâ—â— may Loue thee being guided by â—his thy light In this light the glorious 〈◊〉 Augustin walked in an extraordiâ—ary maner when he cried out with â— most amorous hart Lord lett me know â—hee and lett me know my-selfe These â—wo knowledges are inseparable â—ompanions and increase the one â—y the other For who can know theeâ—nlesse â—nlesse he know himself vnlesse he â—e taught by thee Those that would â—now some thing of thee and would be fauoured by thee for any end but to loue thee and to learn to dispise themselues be in perill of a most dangerous ruine For those that walk the true way of the Crosse desire nâ— fauour but to be able without aâ— comfort to be faithfull to thee mâ— Lord God Those that haue done thâ— contrary of which alas there hauâ— not been a few are they which hauâ— brought a Spirituall life into such contempt that they shall haue in â— maner all the world about their eareâ— to censure them who enter into it one obiecting it will put one out oâ— his wits as they haue found by experience in many that ventureâ— vpon such a course Others say Those that affect singular waies of Spirit are in eminent perill of being deluded by the diuell Others pretend that those poore soules pretend such perfection that they slight and contemne the courses of others though their Superiors and betters which is an euident signe that they are for all their pretence in a great errour Others obiect that they abstract their affections from all the world and indeed would seeme to be dead to all creatures but that this they do that they may the better loue themselues and while they seek themselues in a Spirituall maner in the gifts and graces of God they say they are in more danger then those that liue in sinne and wickednes Others alleadg that the quietnes they seeme to enioy in occurring accidents of difficulty is either natural or els becaus they pretending to lead forsooth a Spirituall life are bound in honour to endure them patiently least otherwise they be prooued to their disgrace to be but in an imaginary course which a Spiritual life in these dayes is generally held to be Thus and in infinit other maners as it is known to thee I haue in some sort experienced euen from them whom I could haue expected by the place they â—ear to haue been hartned in my desyre of tending to thee to the vttermost ability of my soul but well might they do it seeing they were also in place where they were bound to reform in me what was and is amis in my life which I must confesse is very much but yet I confide in thy help But in fine the obiections against an internall life are so many that much help is necessary for a soul that shall be able to hold and go through with all obiections and difficulties in that kind For one saies for want of this circumstance all their life is in perill and another saith that the said circumstance may stand with a true Spirituall life but yet that there is another matter or circumstance which were necessary to be reformed in their course and thus in their exceptions there be so many mindes as men and yet none of them can say there is any sinne in that which they alleadg for such a mayn impediment the fault being indeed only that it is not sutable to their apprehension and experience in spiritual matters Thus therefor it stands with soules that in these days would lead a Spirituall life But those who place all their hope in thee my God shall remain stable as a rock and in thee who art their strength and refuge they liue peaceable and content hauing the testimony of their conscience to bâ— their comfort amidst all oppositions and contradictions But aboue all obiections which I haue heard that goes neerest my hart is when I read or hear that it is perillous to walk the way of Loue and that as some would seeme to proue no soul in any other course or state is in such perill as is a soul who giueth herself to thiâ— study But lett them affirm that who will For my part I will shutt my eares from harkning to such men becaus nothing is more plaine more easy more secure more pleasant then the way of Loue. For that way of Loue it cannot be called if the soul seek in it any thing but thee alone which these men would make it allmost impossible for one to do But thou knowst my God that in this thou hast wrong For it being thy own desire that soules should loue thee and thou hauing made them only for that end that they might wholy attend euen in this life to the Loue and Praise of thee alone how can this way be dangerous where the only endeauour of the soul is that thy will be in al fullfilled who can doubt of thy assistance and help therein though we be able to do nothing of our selues Verily it cannot be doubted any more then it can be feared that thou willt cease to be good to thy creatures which thou hast redeemed with thy pretious bloud Lett not soules therefor I beseech thee by any such frights be brought into fear of walking this noble and amiable way but lett vs sing in hope Dominus illuminatio mea salus mea quem timebo Si Deus pro nobis quis contra nos My Lord is my light and my Saluation whom shall I feare If God be with vs what matter is it who is against vs. Lett vs proceed humbly till we be admitted to enioy thee the God of Gods in Sion where thy praise shall be perfected in vs. These things therefor remembring and recounting before thee do strengthen my soul that it fall not from the stedfastnes which is grounded and founded vpon thee To harten and inconradg my soul by speaking and writing thus to thee was the caus why these things haue been
through their pride and forgettfullnes of their own nothing and of the greatnes of thy Maiesty which pride aboue all things deliuer me from I beseech thee becaus it makes soules so odious before thy self and all that loue thee Lett me giue all Glory to thee who without any desert of myne hast thus sweetly with Grace preuented me for which be thou euer by all Praised and Adored Amen THE XIII CONFESSION O Lord whose Power Maiesty and Wisedome haue no end haue mercy on me sinner and giue me leaue to speak vnto thee my God and aske thee whither men are pleasing to thee becaus they abound with human knowledg And behold thou affirmest no but vnhappy are they who can pearce into all things if they be ignorant of thee Lett me therefor loue and then I shall not be ignorant of that knowledg which maketh soules so pleasing in thyne eyes to wit knowledge of thee and my self O Loue which in lightnest soules and inflamest harts wâ—th chast loue flow into my soul This loue is honourable wisedome and though the enioyers thereof be accounted fooles by the wise of this world yet thou hast another opinion of them and their humble soules find much fauour in thy pure eyes my God! With this Loue did those abound of whom S. Paul speaketh that they went vp and down in goats skinnes needy despised hidden in dennes and caues of whom the world was not worthy yet some of thy Saints became very honourable and glorious euen in the eyes of the world the which was forced to acknowledge thee great in and by them and there was no resisting of thy wisedome speaking by them amongst which of these thy seruants was the great S. Augustin Doctor and light of thy Church a most ardent louer of thee my God Hee in those books of his that I haue seene turneth his speaches so to thy Maiesty that his words thereby become sweeter then ordinary and while he declareth his own misery he giueth to vnderstand to vs thy most aboundant mercy that all that desire to loue thee my Godâ— may being inuited by him praise thee with him and for the fauour shewed by thee to him O that all to whom thou offrest the fauour of bestowing on them thy diuine Loue if they would after sinning by true Humility dispose themselues for it would become by his example gratefull to thee and loue thee as thou wouldst by them be beloued O how soon dost thou by thy Grace wipe out the sinnâ—â— of such who now detesting their former il liues do striue by humble loue to become grateâ—ull to thee for thy preuenting Mercy O Lord my God though thou hast forgiuen me much yet I am farr from louing thee much Those who now enioy thee that haue heertofor beene sinners as I be they Intercessors to thee for meâ— and be thou euer praised for thy infinit mercy by all thy Maiesties creatures for euer anâ— euer Amen THE XIV CONFESSIONâ— O Lord my God who sweetly disposest all things giue thy poore contemptible creature leaue to speake vnto thee who art the only desire of my soul and my hope from my youth and entierly beloued of my hart To thee I will speak and write not as to one a far of but to stirr vp my soul to Loue thee alone and to draw occasions out of all things to praise and exalt thee whose mercies are aboue all thy works To whom should I make my moane in all my miseries but to thy self who art my God and All and who art neerer to me then I am to my self To whom should I go to be instructed but to the fountain of all wisedome Behold men change their mindes and almost euery man differeth in opinion from another in matters that are indifferent and so great is my ignoranâ—e and blindnes naturally that vnâ—esse thou instruct me I shall all waies â—auer and neuer come to any true â—erfection of knowledg They stand at â—oo great a hazard who confide in â—hemselues and cast not their hope â—holy vpon thee All creatures are vnstable and those that seeke not â—hee aboue all creatures but putt their trust more in men then in thee will find no true peace in their soules O that I did truly Loue for by Loue only my soul shall becom capable of vnderstanding truth Loue is humble â—eaceable subiect to thee in all things The soul that loueth thee is more conuersant in heauen then on earth and what heere she of necessity must admit of serues to her rather as a cessation then any consolation The soul that Loues findeth occasion in all and by all things to praise thee my God and to humble it self Such are willingly subiect for thee and do see how odious it is to thee to see that subiects should contemn contradict or withstand thâ— power in Superiors and make theiâ— imperfection a colour for our sinneâ— If it be right between our soules anâ— thee we shall gladly obey thee speaâ—ke thou or ordain thou by whom thoâ—â— pleasest Teach me therefor to obey for thou only canst instruct me whâ— true humble Obedience is If thou dâ— not teach me I may perhaps giue to Caesar what is tâ—yne and deny to giue Caesar what is due to him by thy will Let me obey therefor for theeâ— and in order to thy will and with an internall regard of thee whose due is all the subiection and loue that can be giuen by my poor soul. Open the eyes of my soul that I may see what thou exactest in all things Instruct me by whom and in what maner thoâ— pleasest So I may but know what thy will and pleasure is it suffizeth thy poore seruant Giue me grace to obey thee my God with all that Loue thee for euer Amen THE XV. CONFESSION O Lord my God what soul that truly loues thee can complain what difficulties soeuer she endures or how great a desolation soeuer obscures her soul or how great paines soeuer she sustaines seeing thou whom she loueth more then her life and self art always the same beholding with an amorous and louing eye the louing soul afflicted by thee or by thy permission rather to try her fidelity then to oppresse her with such a burthen that might separate her from her only beloued for seeing nothing is dreaded by her but to be seperated from her God she holding humility and confidence thou O Lord wilt neuer permit her to be ouercome For thou makest the quarrel thyne own thus fought by vs and the victory ours though indeed gained by thee not by our own selues O how happy am I in thy Power and Glory Verily though I were to return to my own nothing yet I could not account my self void of an infinit happines seeing my God who is more mine then â— am my own would remain and be the same in all Wisedome and Maiesty Thâ—s is the repose of my labour and the crown of my glory in which I will exult in my greatest
calamities and miseries O Loue lett me liue in and to thee and dy to all created things whatsoeuer O Loue Loue liue raign and wholy possesse my soul Consider not O my God so much what I am and haue beene as what I desire to be O Lord my God and all my Good THE XVI CONFESSION O Lord my God Father of the poor and true comforter of all afflicted soules be mercifull to my desolate hart and stirre it vp to perfect loue of thee that I may simply seek thee and sigh after thee my beloued absent and not for the sorrow I feele at the present Lett me long to embrace thee with the armes of my soul and think it litle to endure any misery in body or soul to be at last admitted into the boosom of my Loue fairest and choicest of thousands Lett all fall down and adore my God the glory of my hart Lett the sound of his Praise be heard to sound and resound ouer all the earth O when shall my soul hauing transcended it self and all created things be firmely vnited to thee the beloued of my hart resting in thee not in thy gifts or graces and neither desiring nor taking any satisfaction in any work or exercise whatsoeuer but in all paines temptations contempts deâ—olations pouerties and miseries either of body or mind conforming my self to thy sweet will for time and eternity who as iustly as euer thou didst any thing mayst condemne my soul eternally to hell from which nothing but thy meere mercy were able to saue and deliuer me and dayly I should incurr this sentence if thou didst not out of thy goodnes euer help and protect me thy sinfull seruantâ— This only I desiâ— this only I ask that I may in all things praise thee and that I may desire no comfort but to be able without all comfort human or diuine to be true to thee and not offend thy Haâ—osty THE XVII CONFESSION TO whom but to thee my Lord should I fly in all temptations and Crosses whose armes are open to embrace all repentant sinners and whose hands are lifted vp to giue a sweet benediction to all in misery If I either had or desired to haue any friend or comforter but thee I could not with confidence fly into thy bosâ—ome for succour in this which is now faln on me Iâ— euer thou hadst reiected any that hoped iu thee I might feare but as it is I will sing in my affliction with teaâ—es in myne eyes to thee and neuer leaue to hope in thine aboundant mercy Is it much that I serue thee whom all creatures are bound to serue and we are so happy in being subiect to thee that no libâ—râ—y is to be compared to the happines of depending of thee THE XVIII CONFESSION WHEN thou art present O my God then my hart reioiceth and in peaâ—e singeth thy praises but when thou hidest thy beawtifull face my soul becometh exceedingly obscured and troubled yea euen ouerwhelmed in darknes and misery in which case long remaining which is most iustly permitted by thee for my humiliation what shall I do to lift vp my soul to thee but as one sick with loue of her absent beloued to speak with him it is impossible the distance of place is so great but yet she may hear others who speak of him which a little mitigateth her misery though while he is absent al is irksome to her becaus the delay afflicteth her hart But yet is she without all comfort No for she may write to and of him and if none will carry it to her deare beloued it shall remain by her that he may see at his return how she languished for loue and could take comfort in nothing that all creatures could offer or propose to her soul while she possessed not what she only desired her life by loue being more with her beloued then where she liued for which caus she heareth and yet mindeth not what is said vnles perhaps they treat feelingly of her absent loue and speak in his praise She seeth and yet cannot take comfort in what she beholdeth She sleepeth but her hart waketh and in fine while she cannot enioy her beloued nothing can satisfy her vnquiet hart Thus my God euen sensual and vnreasonable loue transporteth a reasonable soul But if naturall loue be of that force what doth that soul feel whom thou hast wounded with thy pure Loue And of what power is that loue that is seconded by thee who art the fountain of all true Loue and sweetnes What shall I say of a soul that hath tasted how sweet our Lord is Verily she yet liuing dieth a thousand deaths becaus she seeth herself so far from possessing thee my God whom none can see and liue nor none enioy as thou art in thy self till thou free her of the heauy and sinful burthen of flesh and bloudâ— And allthough thou dost admitt her longing and sighing after thee alone to I know not what nor can I expres the vnspeakable ioy and delights which I say thou some times admittest her to therein not like to the louers in this world who oftimes reiect where they are most beloued yet out of thy care of her thou suddainly turnest away thy face at which till she loue thee for thy self she will become troubled and too too impatient in the delay which thou makest of returning to her again the which if she bear with a resigned mind making thy will her law aboue all the desires of her hart and sitt solitary like the turtle doue thou willt in good time assuredly return and being absent wilt be present to hear her prayers and see her teares shed for the sorrow she conceiueth to offend thee her desired beloued whom she would loue withall her hart with all her soul and all her strength and praise thee day and night without ceasing as it beseemes a soul languishing with thy loue THE XIX CONFESSION REMEMBER O my God that thou madst me for to loue thee Why therefor dost thou permit me to offend so sweet a Goodnes Although none do find thee in an extraordinary maner in the bottome of their soules but those that serue thee my God for Loue and walk by the way of the Crosse yet I do confidently affirm that thy yoke and burthen thy Law and thy Crosse are not by far so heauy greeuous and burthen â—ome as be the painâ—ul wayes of â—in which seeme â—o be sweetned with some delightsâ— but in the hart it proueth more bitter then gall whereas thy yoke being born by a truly louing soul is many times heauy when thou leauest her thereby to shew her how little she can do or suffer of her self and that she may glory in thee and not in her own power and humble herself and not preferre herâ—elf before others when I say thou pleasest to leaue her thus as it were forlorne she feeleth indeed a great burthen and nothing can comfort her till thou her desired and only beloued
return For she hauing forsaken all for thee and hauing tasted of thy sweetnes saieth with the Prophet Turn away myne eyes that they see not vanity least like a dog she return to her vomit and after hauing had a glimering of thy light she becaus she feared she should not be able to sustain thy chastisements and shouâ—d forgett and loose herself by these tribulations and desirous that she might be happily enabled to enâ—er the more fully into thee and fearing I say her own frailty she thus againe crieth out to thee by these other words of the Psalmist saying Domine Deus salutis meae in die clamaui nocte coram te O Lord God of my saluation day and night haue I cryed after Thee For who but thy self can comfort a soul that indeed neither seekes nor desires any thing but thee my God O when shall I spend all my strength and forces in singing thy Praises Who would sett their harts vpon any thing but thee seeing thou hast made all other things so hard to be obtained that we might seeke only thee for whom we were made and whose Loue we may more easily obtaine then any thing els whatsoâ—uer O lett me Loue thee who only for that end didst create me We would haue that which is worth nothing and many times greiue for the losse of that which would but cause vs perplexity and trouble to haue In the meane time neglecting that which thou so infinitly desirest to bestow vpon vs to wit thy loue then which nothâ—ng is so good or sweet or that bringeth such true peace to the soul. THE XX. CONFESSION WITHOVT paine it is impossible O my most Amiable God to liue in loue But if the difficulties which thy true friends and seruants feele were weighed with the miseries of those who rather seek to please themselues and others then thee there would be found an infinit disâ—parity For thy yoke is sweet and thy burthen light to the simple and humble and to those who serue thee for loue and whose ioy thou thy self art and who nothing els but thee my God do seâ—k for in time or eternity These I say are despised contemned afflicted pained tempted troubled and many times sit sorrowfull with a heauy hart and sad countenance But thy will being their law and thy disposition their consolation I may boldly affirme that in all this they suffer nothing in comparison of the fondâ— louers of this world becaus thou being euer more present to them then tâ—ey to themselues dost when thou seest thy time refresh their souls with the light and comfort of thy grace yea seeming to be euen prodigall of thy sweetnes to such as abide faithfull to thee in their tribulations and hope confide and glory in thee and not in themselues and who take occasion in all they see heare suffer ouercome to humble themselues vnder thy mighty hand and blesse and praise thy Iustice and Mercy in all things whatsoeuer Amongst which number admit me poor and contemptible sinner to thy greater glory for this thy Mercy from all creatures for euer and euer Amen THE XXI CONFESSION O My Lord and my God remoue al impediments between thy Goodnes and my poor soul that I may loue thee who only deseruest all loue and honour Giue me an humble and peacefull hart that thou maist inhabit therein as thou desirest Suppres in me by thy sweet Grace the sin of pride which maketh me as yet so odious to thy Diuine Maiesty O if we did but by true Humility abase our selues what beames of true light would shine in the bottome of our souls O what amity is there between thy Diuine Maiesty and an humble soul Nothing but Humility could haue drawn thee down to the earth and only Humility can make vs capable of being drawn by â—hee vp to heauen The truly humble conuers familiarly with thee and thy Saints They presuming nothing of themselues can do all things in thee who strengthnest them And thou art so chary and tender of the humble that what concerneth them thou esteemest to concern thy owne self and euen thy own hart And they thinking they do nothing do by thee do all things Many vnknown to the worldâ— and of no esteem wiâ—h it shall before thee haue the honour and merâ—t in the next world of that which noâ— other men boast of and attribute to themselues For the humble liuing stil in their own nothing giue all glory to thee by whom only all good is performed in the mean while thou enriching them of thy meere Mercy with thy Merits O happy exchange thinâ— for ours durt for the most pure gold What is all we can do Verily nothing Enrich me therefor poor begger with some-what of thyne At thâ— feet I lay whatsoeuer thou giuest oâ— hast giuen me Giue or take away 〈◊〉 thou pleasest so thou do not blot mâ— out of the book of life Open to me knocking at the door of thy Mercy I haue been fiue and twenty yeares this signifieth her age at the writing heerof as that she was then fiue and twenty years olde in my infirmity of most loathsome sinnes behold my misery and take pitty vpon me Sonne of Dauid I defiled that â—oul that was made to thy owne Image and liknes haue compassion on her who hath no other friend or comforter but thy self the only desired of my hart For thy owne sake be propitious to my sin for it is much Nothing that I haue done can I alleadg to thee which hath deserued any reward in thine eyes Onely desires of which manie burn in hell they being little without good works Giue her to drink who withers away for want of thee the fountain of al sweetnes I will powre out my soul before thee that at least I may comfort my self with relating to thee my sinnes and miseries Behold all my ennemies triumph ouer me of whom most easily in all temptations they get â—he victory Fight for me or els I know not what will become of me giue me true Humility by which all things are easily ouercome and all thou exactest most perfectly accomplâ—shed by vs thy Maiesties poor creatures Giue thy self to meâ— who hath nothing of her own to offer thee and if thou giue me thy self I am as rich as I desire to be and if thou shouldst bestoâ— vpon me all thou hast or can create it would be little to me vnles I possessed thee By thy felf I Praise thee whose name doth not be-seeme the mouth of a sinner O let me Loue or not liue I giue my self to thee whome alone I wish for and desire with all the forces of my hart and soul. O my God how neere thou art to vs ready to heare and receaue our prayers and petitions Behold thy sâ—eeâ— prouidence sheweth it self in all things O how long shall my God be thus â—orgotten by creatures When wilt thou by Loue be by all sought after as thou oughtest to be by vs THE
XXII CONFESSION O My Lord let all things praise thee Let thy iust will be our law Let subiects humbly obey in and for thee For inferiors contending and withstanding their Superiors in that thou wouldst haue them obey in is most odious in thine eyes and nothing they can do will please thee vnles they will heare thy voice as well by others as from thy self For it is not so much the greatnes of the action that thou regardest as the being don by vs in that maner thou wouldst haue it don by vs and in nothing can wee obey thee as wee ought to do vnles wee first regard and intend thee in that which by vs is accomplished and a Superior reflecting on his owne authority rather then on what in thy behalf he ought to exact in that case or cases and rather on what by his power he can command then on what according to thy pleasure were best to be done rathâ—r gouerneth in his owne power then in thine and the effect vnles it be very streight and right betweene his subiectâ— harts and thee will consequently be more human then diuine and the Superiors while sensible of their honour abusing the power giuen by thee doe yet loose what they would haue For their subiects often looking vpon rather what is defectiue in the Superior then vpon their owne duty both of them faile in their duties to thy dishonour who so sweetly hast disposed of all things if we did not peruert thine order with seeking not thee and thine honour but our own and our selues from which misery blesse vs I beseech thee for thine own sake that thou maisâ— be glorified both in the Commaunders and the Obeyers THE XXIII CONFESSION O How happy are those thou instructest in thy Law and in whom it goeth streight between their soules and thet For their only care is to please and praise thee in all things These humbly obey for thee and see how dangerous it is to resist thy will in any thing how little soeuer But very much must we striue to humble our selues if we desire to know and stand vnto the things that are exacted of vs by thee For nothing is able to inlighten our blindnes but thy Grace shining in an humble soul. If we knew neuer so much and could do wonders if we had neuer so great guifs of nature and grace yet could we not thereby become pleasing to thee vnles withall we were diligent in the exercise of true Humility O giue me this Guift For none of himsef is able to attain to it My God make me truly humble that I may be wholy thine Let me by Loue adhere to thee that all impediments may be remoued between my soul and thee Let all created things be to me as if they were not as to their becoming any impediment between my poor soul and thy Godnes that so I may not be hindred by any thing from being vnited to thee For this thou maidst our souls that by thy Grace we might return to thee whom by sinne we had straied from and that humbly seeking to Loue thee and vsing all things created only to this end that we may at last find and possesse â—hee who only art able to satiate vs and therefor miserable are we when we seek any things beside thee from which doing I beseech thee defend vs. Amen THE XXIV CONFESSION NOn in solo pane viuit homo sed in omni verbo quod procedit de ore Dei These are thine oâ—â— wordes my Lord â—hich I rehears beâ—ore thee to whomâ— powre out my hart and my soul â—ith vnspeakable ioy hoping that â—hy word shall be a light vnto my feete that I may auoid the ginnes and snares which the world the â—â—esh and the diuell doe lay to catch â—nd intrap my sinful and weak â—oul Thy words indeed are sweet because thou speakest Peace to the hart and giuest by them strength â—o the soul. It is well known to thee why I do thus dilate my self in speaking and writing to thee my Lord and my God rehearsing to thee to whom all things are manifest the desires intentions and afflictions or comforts of my hart For as thâ—uâ—ell â—ell knowst if I should not when â— enioy some more interior light set down in writing some thiugs which I may peruse at other times that â—re of obsurity I should be apt to forget to praise thee yea and eueâ— wither away with the grief and anguish which by thy sweet permission ouerwhelmeth my soul be thâ—â— blessed for all who take away 〈◊〉 beseech thee or giue as it best pleaâ—seth thee from thy poore seruantâ— only depriue me not of Graceâ— So I may Loue thee I care not whaâ— happeneth to me Let thy will be done for time and eternity Rooâ— out of my soul that pride whicâ— maketh me so far from being thaâ— thou wouldst haue mee to be My desire is great to Praise loue honour and truly serue thee but my power is so little that none hath been lesse faithfull to thee then I But where doth the liberality of thy infinite mercâ— extend it self more willingly theâ— where there is greatest pouerty anâ— misery Though I be poor yet mâ— Lord is rich though I be in al blindnesse as to the discerning of trutâ— yet my Lord is light it selfe To him therefore I will approach that in his light I may see light I will begge of thee that I may become capable of gloriyng in thy riches and then nothing shall be wanting to me seeâ—ng my Lord possesseth in himsâ—lfe all good things Be thou my Lord what â—hou art and I a miserable sinner casting mine eyes vpon the earth doe cry to thee to bee mercifull to my sinnes I sitting heere in the â—hadowe of death morne and lament that I haue made no more hast to conclude an euerlasting â—eague and peace with my Lord God to whom now my soul doth aspire day and night without ceasing O my Lord when I remember what â—hou hast done for me I faint and faile to see how vngratefull for it I haue been and am to thee What didst thou meane to helpe me and â—ecall me from my sinnes when I least thought of thee And not content with that thou didst also by means of a faithfull seruant of thine make my state which was so heauy â— burthen to me through my fault and ignorance to become so delightfull to me that I may and do truly acknowledg that thy yoke of Religion is sweet aboue all the deâ—lights and pleasures of the world and thy burthen so light that crosses paines afflictions internal and exâ—ternal born as thy burthen are most light and easie and cause more true peace to my hart then I can expres which be it said to thy honour and grant me to humble my self in al that I may grow stil more and more pleasing to thee who art the only desire of my hart and comfort of my soul. Let his instructions of whom
soul flying to thee for help and succour in the necessities wherein I daily languish For none didst thou euer reiect neither sick as witnes the Leapers and diuers others which were abhorred by men for their loathsom diseases nor the deformed nor the blind nor the lame nor the poor and contemptible no nor the sinners whose loathsome sinnes made their souls much more deformed in thy pure eyes then any discase could make a body in the eyes of the beholders But why do I presume to speak to my God in this simple maner verily my Lord only presuming of the most aboundant fountain of thy mercies do I thus refresh my soul with recounting these things before thee becaus these places in the Ghospel which treat so particularly of thy receauing and forgiuing sinners doth particularly appartain to me who hauing among them found grace in this kind before thee I do likwise in these things I read find that which putteth me in hope of the continuance of thy Mercy Behold I desire now to conuert my hart wholy to thee and to becom totally in all things subiect to thy Diuine Maiesty Let thy Grace affist me For it is not any thing I can do can saue me The Angel that hath care of me praise thee for me and assist me with his intercession for me Thy Mother hath been indeed a Mother to me for which be she honoured for all eternity as it beseemeth so great an humility to be she vouchsafing to take pitty on me poor miserable sinner for all which Praise be to thee my God and All for all eternity Amen THE XXVII CONFESSION PAtientia pauperum non peribit in finem The patience of the poor shal not perish in the end O Lord my God seeing the way of the Cross is the way that al in this life must walk of what state or dignity soeuer they be none exempted from suffering some in body by paines and sicknes some by pouerty and want of necessaries some by loss of friends some by the disloialty of such whom they confided in some by loss of their goods by fire wars and the like and some by their own indiscretion vnwarines and want of foresight falling into disgrace some by setting their affection where it is reiected grow desperate mad and some therby liuing in perpetual discomfort become woful murtherers of themselues some fortune frowning vpon them haue al things go contrary to their desire and in fine no place no person nor any condition can be free from suffering in this miserable life But shal we think this was ordained to be thus by thee by chance or becaus thou dost not loue what thou hast made No God forbid we should euer think so but that which made thee ordain it so was only to the end that we being proued or triedâ— as gold in the furnace should thereby become capable of thy pure loue the which if we could obtain easy would it be to suffer any thing which thou permittedst to happen vnto vs. For as for some of the Crosses which happen in this life we are the caus of them our selues and by them we not only suffer paine but also detriment in our souls becaus they proceed from our yeilding to sin and giuing way to our passions and in ordinat affections therby becoming a slaue to sensuality ouer which we should be absolute maisters if we did as we ought concur with thy grace And verily my God to whom I speak and write with much content to my soul thou by this meanes inlightning me with that diuine truth which leadeth in some sort to thy self and much inflameth my hart with a most ardent desire of thee the only desire of my soul to whom I1 aspire day and night without ceasing in my simple manâ—r Verily I say that I am ignorant how it is possible to proceed with any confidence or comfort in any thing if our foundatioÌ„ be not founded in thee by a sincere intention For til I resolued what difficulties soeuer ther by I endured to make thy wil mine owne and thy Disposition my consolation I found no stability in any thing or exercise whatsoeuer and since that time I haue found certeinty and quiet in all the vncerteinty of contrary occurrence For if thou be intended in al our actions what should we fearâ— For we only intending and desiring thy honour in all things how can we doubt but that this by thee in al things wil be accomplished seeing that which thou dost desire and wil we should seek and intend to wit they honour which is only aimed at by vs Can we imagin thou wilt saile on thy part we desiring to do what lyeth in vs No No but conâ—idently we may hope that nothing shal be wanting to vs and thou kwnowst my Lord God that when any thing happeneth which seemeth so to derogate from thy diuine honour that it greiueth my hart thou presently quietest me with these words saying to my soul. Vacate videte quoniam ego sum Deus exaltabor in gentibus exaltabor in terra Be quiet and see that I am God I shall be exalted among the Gentils and shall be exalted in the earth With these words I say thou comfortest my soul. For though I haue desired to make an exchange with â—hee that I may take only care to seeke thy honour in al things committing the care of my welfare to â—hâ—e yet in those things which happen as I think contrary to thy honour I ought to conforme my wil to thy sweet disposition or permission and not disquiet my soul vnder any pretence whatsoeuer For the quiet and humble hart is the place where thou delightest to dwell Thou who art the God of Peace giue me that â—rue loue of thee which only bringeth true Peace and blesse this thy little flock and especially those in it â—ho are by their patience and discretion helpers and furthers to true peace and concord in this poor Conuent of thine My most deaâ—e Lady â—hy Mother and mine by thy sweet Mercy pray to thee for this hous of hers as also our good Angels â—ho haue care of vs. Saint Michael â—ho was so zealous of his honour Saint Raphael who guides vs in the way of thy Law Sanit Gabriel who brought vs the happy tidings of thy coming into this world to reconcile vs sinners to thy heauenly Father Our most holy Father S. Benedict our Mother S. Scholastica as also S. Ioseph S. Iohn S. Thomas and S. Gertrude in whose hart â—hou didst delight to dwell and also my beloued Father S. Augustin whom thou hast giuen me in a particular maner to be a help to me in doubts and feares and an incouradgement by his books to hope for pardon for my innumerable sins and as a fire are al his words to inflame me to seek after and aspire to thy diuine loue and to wish only that that may wholy posses my soul which grant for his
euer Amen THE XXXII CONFESSION MAy I aske thy Maiesty this question being not worthy so much as to name or think vpon thee May I I say aske thee how it is possible that thou canst find in thy hart thus to heap benefits vpon the most vnworthy vngreatful and contemptible of al thy creatures Is there any sin that I haue not comitted at least by my wil Yea verily so great and numberles do my â—ins and imperfections appeare to me that I neuer read or heard of any whose sinnes for one reason or other could be compared to mine Shal not therefor my soul praise my God Can any wonder to see me in al occasions fly to thee and speak to thee whâ— hast without any the least desert on my part thus sweetly with thy Grace prâ—uented me and not only auerted my wil from al that displeaseth thee but also drawn me so forcible to desire only thee that my soul euen loatheth al that may any way hinder it from truly adhering to thee and such an inclination hath my wil continually towards thâ—e that it cannot endure to rest in any thing but thee alone I would haue thee alone I desir to loue and seeke thee esteeming al gifts and graces so much and no more as they may and do enable me to rest only in theâ— which grant I may euer do for thy owne sake who art Godnes it self and who be euer blessed Amen THE XXXIII CONFESSION O Thou who despisest not any in greif and misery flying to thee hear and help me in that which is sustained by me to whom should I fly but to thee If I had or desired to haue any friends besids thee thou mightst bid me go vnto them and speak to them to help me But as it is al hauing forsaken me and I al for thâ—e behold I come vnto thee not as one who thinketh herself any way to deserue to be beheld or heard of thee but as one who hath no other refuge besids thee Thy mercy which infinity surpasses my sinns inuiteth me howrly to come confidently to thee These therefor are thy words with which thou art most willing to be challenged by thy poor seruants who by reason of their great frailty and weaknes may alleadg them in their necessities and want of help in whicâ— they are to thee I say who speakeâ—â— them for our help and comfort Noâ— vos relinquam orphaâ—os Petite acâ—pietis vt gaudium vestrum sit plenuâ— Paraclitus docebit vos omnia Si quis â—iâ—ligit me sermonem meum seruabit â—atâ—r meus diliget eum ad cum vâ—niemus mansionem apud eum facâ—mus I wil not leaue you orphans Aâ— and you shal receiue that your joy may â—ful The Holy Ghost wil teach you â— things If any loue me he wil keep mâ— word and my Father wil loue him and â— wil come to him and wil make our mansion with him If thou wilt be our Father what cause haue we to complain though we be despised and forsaken yea and traoden down by the whole world But as for me I shal neuer be weary of saying it is good to adhere to my Lord God This I wil ask this I wil beg euen for thy own Jake that thou wilt be my helper defender and refuge in al my necessities and do not for euer â—orsak her who is so poor and frail of her-sef that she hath nothing of her own doing or suffering wherein she can glory or confide If thou wilt not forsake me I shal be saâ—e If thou leaue me to my-self nothing can I expect but vtterly to perish Let me obserue al thou exacteth of me out of pure and sincere loue neither desiring no nor so much as reflecting vpon other reward then that I may be so happy as in al things to be conformable to thy holy wil. It is a sufficient comfort euen of it-it-self to be tyed and bound to thee by the obligation of vows and to serue thee for loue and to endeauourin al to be so subiect to thee as if it were not in our power to wil or desire any thing whatsoeuer In this lyeth hidden a most sweet and peaceable life euen amidst the various changes and alterations which this our banishment daily experienceth which is truly tearmed a warfare in which sometimes we ouercome by thy assisting grace and sometimes we are vaÌ„quished by our enemies the worldâ— the flesh and the diuel the which giues vs occasion to acknowledg iustly before thee daily our exceeding great frailty But this in my daily combats is my comforâ— that my Lord and loue my only beloued and most dearly desired Lord my God aâ—ter whom I thirst and languish seeth and beholdeth me and is neeâ— to be called vpon in this my necessity For as he loueth those that fight with great couradg and strength so he despiseth not his litle children to whom gnats and flyes seeme so great enemies for so I may tearm my litle sufferings if I compare them to those of his strong and faihful seruants which without changing their countenance they most couradgiously endure yea euen before my face that we weep and hide our faces in his boosom to auoid the biting and stinging of so smal aduersities This my God is my case help and assist me that I may be daily more strengthened and confirmed in thee that at last I may be that in al things thou wouldst haue me â—o be Amen THE XXXIV CONFESSION BEatus homo quem tu erudieris Domine de lege tua docueris eum Nisi quia Dominus adiuuit me paulo minus habitasset in inferno anima mea Blessed is the man whom thou shalt teach O Lord and shalt instruct him in thy law Vnles God had helped me within very little my soul had dwelt in hel This is my solace in sorrows and my refreshment in labours to cal vpon my God and to write vnto him so that when my soul groweth more heauy and dul I may in that case read in my own writingâ— as in a book the mercies of my Lord shewed vnto me therby to raise vp my soul to a sweeter remembrance of him whom my hart desire thin al and aboue al to loue and enioy We may I confes being taught this my lesson by thee that if thou hadst not most powerfully holpen and deliuered me my soul had dwelt in helâ— where it might most iustly haue noâ— been if thy meere Mercy had not hetherto deliuered me which continue to do my Lord I most humbly beseech thee For as it is said in the Psalme vnles thou O Lord keep my soul in vain is my labour in defending it Who therfor can blame me flying vnto thee or for hauing in al things relation to my God my mercy so that if I at any time grow slack in flying to him or in calling vpon hiâ— in my doubts and miseries this which I now write lying by me and often being
looked vpon by me may be a meanes to put me in mind of his former mercy which hath been so great to me that it cannot poâ—â—ibly be expressed and whatsoeuer heerafter becometh of me be the fault wholy attributed to me for nothing hath my Lord God left vndon which might win me wholy to himself and make me despise my self and al created things for his loue For when I sinned he recalled me and forsook me not in that my misery of offending such an infinit goodnes so shamefully and that also after my entry into Religion the happines and worth whereof I did not yet know by which meanes I grew weary of bearing therein his sweet yoke and light burthen the which is heauy only through our fault and not of it-self Through which default and ignorance of mine it grew so greiuous and intolerable to me that I wished often it might haue been shaken of lawfully by me pretending it was so incompatible with my good that I could scarsly work my saluation in this my state and Profession This my God thou art witnes of is true and so it did continue with me aboue two years after I had in shew forsaken the world and the world indeed forsaken me but did my Lord in these biter afflictions forsake me No no but he prouided such a help for me by meanes of a faithful seruant of his that quikly was my sorrow turned into ioy yea into such an vnspeakeable ioy that it hath sweetned al the sorrows which since that time haue befaln me For as soon as my soul was set in a way of tending to my God by Praier and Abâ—egation I found al my miseries preâ—ently disperse themselues and come to nothing yea euen in fiue weeks my soul became so enamoured with the yoke of this my deare Lord that if I must haue made not only foure but foure thousands vowes to haue become wholy dedicated to him I should haue embraced this state with more ioy and content then euer I did find in obtaining that which euer I most of al wished or desired yea and as thou knowst my God by my souls being put into a cours of prayer I seemed to haue now found a true means wherby I might loue without end or measure and that without any peril or danger For who can loue thee my God too much O let me melt wholy into loue to record these thy most aboundant Mercies Let me neuer be weary of singing thy Praise who thus hast inuited and drawn me euen whither I would or no to a perfect contempt of al created things that I may adhere to thee aboue al gifts whatsoeuer This I do so particularly write down becaus my frailty is so great that I may perhaps grow vnmindful of thee notwithstanding al this that thou hast done for me which I beseech thee for thine own sake neuer permit me to be that I may praise and loue thee without ceasing who art my God blessed for euer and euer Amen THE XXXV CONFESSION QVi facit veritatemâ— venit ad lucem vt manifestentur opera eius quae in Deo sunt facta O Lord what is more amiable and desirable then Truth That is it which powerfully preuaileth in all things and no wonder seeing thou art Truth Wel may Truth be oppressed thou permitting it but suppressed it-self can neuer be becaus as thou saiest heauen and earth shal fail but thy word shal not fail He that loueth verity and doth desiâ— to liue to thee cometh to the light And what is this light Is it not thy-self my God Yes verily For in thy light only can we see light By faith we are made capable or disposed for this light For as thou saiest My iust liueth by faith By this light we are strengthned in hope and inflamed in charity and by apprâ—aching to theâ— who artour true light and life we obtain a light which teacheth vs to do our works in thee and for thee In his light we discouer our own nothing â—nd perceiue we are poor and frail of â—ur-selues aboue al we can imagin â— conceaue and by it we plainly â—â—rceaue that whatsoeuer is wel â—one by vs is as truly to be attribuâ—ed to thee as if it had been don â—ithout any concurrence of ours â—ith thee and that it is as iust our â—ill should in al things obey thee â—nd that without any challenging â—f reward â—or it of thee but only so â—r as it is due by thy meere promised â—ercy as it is certain that without â—ee we could neither liue nor be â—lso in this ligâ—t we see in some sort as it were in a looking glasse how â—reat and good a God we haue and â—â—at he is more present to vs then â—e are to our selues which maketh â—y soul exult and rejoice amidst â—â—e troubles tumults and various â—hanges which the difficulty of pasâ—ons and crosse actions and the â—â—stability of â—uman and transiâ—ory things daily and howrly caus 〈◊〉 my soul. For who can mourn for want of a friend who hath her only friend always present with her who can choose but hope seeing he is her helper for whose loue she fighteth against flesh and bloud yea and against the power of darknes But how doth she fight Not as one confiding in her own strength but in his help whose loue hath made her proclaim warre with al that would hinder her from being true to this her only beloued To those that loue what can be wanting seeing loue is able to sweeten al labours and lighten al burthens As for me therfor I wil sing without ceasing in my hart It is good for me to adhere to my God and to put my whole trust in him For vain is the help of man After him I will sigh to him I wil sing For my offences I wil weepe and humble my self at the feet ef al creatures becaus nothing pleaseth him so wel as humibity and I wil approach to my God and walk solicitous with him Of him I wil write and I wil not depart from himâ— least darknes and the shadow of death do apprehend my sinfull foul He shal be my God who am his vnworthiest creature that so no euil may haue power ouer me I wil long my Lord to be dissolued and that I may more fully and perfectly enioy theâ— and neuer any more offend thee who art so worthy of al Praise Glory Honour and Adoration for euer Amen THE XXXVI CONFESSION O My Lord to thee I wil speak to whom yet the secrets of my hart are otherwise most cleerly manifest To thee I wil speak and vpon thee I wil cal If thou wilt my Lord thou canst saue me This day my Lord God it is read of thee in rhe holy Church that thou didst heale the man sick of the Palsey Let me also find grace before thee that my diseases may by thee be cured that so I may become pleasing to thee For the diseases of the
iust that al things woulâ— happen to our greatest good iâ— we with humility and confidence in thee would proceed in al things And not any state condition or corporal complexion is there wherein thou hast not been serued in a perfect maner by some or other And if we run through al degrees from the Pope to the simple Religious and from the greatest Monarcâ— to the poorest begger in al we shal find some that haue faitfully serued and praised thee And as for naturâ—l coâ—plexions or dispositions the most wicked haue brought forth children prouing Saints and others who haue liued as to al maner of sinsâ— so iâ— that whole Contreys haue fared the worse for them and diuers souls perished by their means yet by humility haue become so pleasing to thee O Lord that thou madst them thy boosom friends And no trade nor occupation iâ— it be lawful but hath oâ— it Saints to the end to shew thou despisest nothing that thou haâ—t made how contemptible soeuer it seeme in the eyes of men Why therefor do we not loue thee seeing al things on thy part concur to this end We may pretâ—nd what excuse we wil but nothing wil excuse vs before thee who had no other end in creating vs but that we should be partakers of that glory which thou prepared for those that truly loue thee and in that country of al happines we sâ—al receaue al good things and aboue al shal enioy thee the beginning and fountain of al good without whom al things are as nothing as to the contenting and satisfying of our souls And seeing meerly thou crâ—atedst vs for ouâ— good thou being infinitly happy of thy-self before thou createdst any thing why shal we lay the fault of our not profiting or euerlasting perishing vpon theâ— If there had beeâ— any thing wanting of thy part wâ— might iustly complain to thee anâ— if there were any thing yet meerly necessary we requiring it humblâ— of thâ—e thou couldst not â—so infinâ—â— good art thou deny it vs. But seeinâ— thou createdst man in the state of innocency and after his â—al redeemedst him with the pretious Bloud of thy ouly begotten Son and hast giuen vs a Law vnder which we are to walk and by means of our holy Mother the Church hast and dost determine of al things as certainly as if that thou thy-self wert stil corporally present to giue answers in al things necessary to saluation how worthily are we to be condemned if we do not correspond and satisfy such thy most gratious wil and prouision about vs Besids we haue thee within vs to haue recourse vnto vpon al occasions the which that we may do with the les impediments thou hast ordained the ouerlooking and solicitude ouer vs of the Superiors thy Vicegerents who gouern vs heer by â—hy appointment and whom to resist in any thing so it do not derogâ—te from thy own authority immediatly to thy-self were highly to offend and displease thee For by these thy Substituts thou dost iudg and determin of Spirits and of the verity and goodnes of them and of their exercises and doings as whether they proceed from thee and thy motions or no and by them declarest what in general is to be done or omitted and in particular as there is occasion in seculars partly by seculars powers and in Religious by their Pastours and Superiours that thus being in some certeinty of subordination and good exterior order we may freely attend to thee in our souls without going forth but of meere necessity THE L. CONFESSION O WHO would seek or loue any thing but thee my God who art exceeding great and of thy goodnes there is no end Who woulâ— loose thee for nothing and depaâ—t from the fountain of life for to drink out of a Cestern that is â—ul of filthy and muddy water What are al things but thy self for the satisfying of our souls If thou diedst as thou diedst for vs that we might liue ouly to thee can we think it much if heauens earth sea and al contained in them rise vp against vs forgetting and neglecting thy Mercy O let vs loue thee and al things wil be at peace with vs and we at peace with our selues Is it not a shame for vs to see the birds praise thee and al creatures in their kind to giue the honour and yet we only capable of thy loue forgetful and vngrateful to thee What is there is this world but it calleth vpon vs to seek thee in sincerity of hart and to liue to thee alone and to make vse of them euery one in their kind to the end we may concur with them to the praise of thee our Lord and Creator to whom al loue and honour is only due The Angels most humbly assist vs and pitty vs offending thee which willingly to do is so hainous a thing in their eyes that they are amazed to see vs stray from true reason But alas man was in honour and knew it not he was compared to beasts and becamâ— like vnto them In this my misery I sigh and groane to my God who in this my affliction is only able to help and comfort mâ— O how can we find in our hart to offend thee That and that alone is to be esteemed truly a misery But yet are we sinners without comfort No no my God seeing thou canst forgiue more then we can offend and it wil redound to thine â—onour and praise for euer and euer that thou hast pardoned so many and greiuous sins and sinners In which thy glory I â—xult from â—he bottom of my soul becaus seeing I haue offended for which I am hartily sorry yet wil my God be extolled by al creatures for forgiuing it for al eternity O thou â—ho art thine own praise supply in this and in al other things the defect that is in al vs thy creatures to praise thee as thy iuâ—tice requireth thou so shouldst be magnifyed by vs al who without thee are nothing but a sack full of filth and the map of al misery THE LI. CONFESSION O Lord my deare God if we that are created to mine own image and liknes and whose happines doth consist in louing pleasing praising and enioying thee If we I say â— did seek and desir only thee how wel would it go in this world If we were faithful to thee al things would be so to vs. When I see any of thy creatures abuse the nobility of their soul by straying from thee or at least by loosing their time which is so precious in labouring and taking great pains to obtain the fauour of men or something els as litle to the purpose how can it but wound my very hart seeing thou art neglected and they take great pains for what they cannot possible obtain in the meane time forgetting to seek after thy sweet loue which might be obtained euen for nothing in coÌ„parison of what they sustain by labouring for that which perhaps if they do get
or obtain they are farther from being satisfyed then they were before It is true the more we loue thee the more we desire to loue thee And the more we loue the more able we are to loue and the more easy it is to loue and loue making al pains confusions difficulties and afflictions sweet what is there left to suffer Only indeed the hiding of thy face and denying vs fully to enioy thee this only remains to pearce our harts with if we truly loue and yet thy iust wil is a consolation euen in the greatest extremity of this difficulty Who would therefor not loue thee wholy forgetting themselues and their own profit and commodity either for time or eternity Certainly the Prophets Martyrs Confessors and Virgins that loued thee more then their liues found torments bannishments imprisonments and persecutions sweeter by reason of their loue to thee and of their desiring to be faithful to thy amiable Maiesty then al the pleasures contentments riches honours and glory of the world did euer yet yeald to those that haue most abounded therewith since the beginning of the world O if we could ask Salomon for al the aboundance he liued in and S. Francis in his pouerty or S. Laurence vpon his Gridiron and certainly both by his acknowledgment and theirs their pouerty and pain through loue were sweeter then al his delights euen in this world yea euen Iob sitting vpon the Dunghil and saying God gaue and God hath taken away as it pleaseth our Lord so let it be his name be blessed for euer enioyed more comfort and true peace in soul then al the comforts and pleasures of this world could giue or haue caused to him For only submission to thee my deare God bringeth true comfort to our souls O if we did truly humble ouâ— selues how greatly would thy goodnes be exalted in our souls If we did seek thee not thy gifts graces and comforts how then should we go out of our selues and therby enter into thee O if we were rruly humble how much wouldst thou be pleased to be serued by vs and how many do fare the better for thy humble ones though they be hidden and vnknown for such to the worldâ— Certeinly the humble are so deare to thee that thou seemest not willing or able to do any thing without them For while vnmindful of al but thee they forget themselues thou in â— the meane time enrichest them with thine own works that they may merit more grace glory and fauour before tâ—ee in al things thou dost or permittest to which to the vttermost of their power they concurre by humble resignation if they can do no more which is sufficient to satisfy thee who needest not our works or labours but it is our harts souls and loues that thou requirest and by which thou wilt do good to vs or by vs. What thou thinkest meet for vs to do or to be able to do ought to be indifferent to vs who should haue no wil but thine nor any election but of thee Wel may it be said that where Humility is there is also Wisedom For the truly humble being guided by thy interior Truth and Iustice more then by human wisedom surpasse the weaknes of their own folly for so al wisedom may be esteemed that is not from thee and in thy light by which light only we can discern the glorious truth and not by the natural light of our weak vnderstanding that is not able without a beame of thy Grace to discouer such truth so blind is our soul of it-self without tâ—ee and it is only true humility that maketh vs capable of this thy light And yet if a soul had been with S. Paul in the third Heauen if she should leaue the way of Humility she would return to her former blindnes and the more she by vsurping thy gifts and graces to herself did puff vp her self the more al true light and discretion would depart from her soul and the more het folly would appeare to heauen and earth to her great confusion both in this life and in the next if she did not return and come to know her own nothing For as it is truly said The corruption of the best is the worst O Lord deliuer al from this accursed sin of pride which turned Angels into most vgly diuels and hath been the caâ—se of the separation of so many souls created by thee to enioy eternal felicity from thee my God But especially deliuer those from this most odious vice who haue had the means by the mercy of thy sweet Goodnes to come to some true knowledg of thee and themselues For if we knew al and could discourse with al the wit and eloquence of the Philosophers Orators and Diuines of the causes and effects of al natural and supernatural things yet if we did not know thee by endeauouring truly to loue thee we might truly be said to know nothing For only by louing thee and knowing our selues is true Wisedom obtained And how can it but peruert al true Iustice that thou art by so few in comparison of the whole world sought with a pure intention If we being almost to death benumed with cold should for remedy go forth into the blustering and far colder wind or in the scortching heat of sommer should for mitigation therof to our body go to an hot flaming fire who would not iudg vs euen out of our witts for our so doing Euen so we when wanting supernatural light that is true light and necessary for the guidance of vs in the way towards thee we in lieu of seeking after that light and of taking the means to come by it do betake vs onâ—y to our natural light the which as to the said supernatural end is but meere blindnes and darknes and thus proceeding in assuming for our means the contrary oâ— that wâ— should we prosper both in our practice and in our end accordingly The things which we practise as vertues being indeed no true vertues for want of the discretion that it necessary for the perfection of themâ— and the which discretion is but the self same as the light had from thee wherby often-times our pretended vertues come to haue more of vices then of true vertues in them such defect proceeding out of this that indeed in our inâ—ard and secret consciences we think that we are able to do that which is right and proâ—itable of our own selues and without light and ability for it from thee And when harm falleth to vs or to others by such our blind proceedings we lay the fault of it vpon thee where it is notâ— and not vpon our selues where indeed it is O ler this folly also be far from vs for thou art iust O my Lord and thy iudgments are equity how hidden soeuer thy meaning in them be to our souls I for my part desire to adore thee in al thou disposest and do most gladly acknowledg that al
do euen say to my soul Peace be humble and subiect in al to thy God whom thou art not worthy so much as to name with thy defiled mouth Indeed my Lord whose power and Maiesty prostrate I acknowledg and adoreâ— with al mine hart and soul if I should neither in this nor in the next world receaue any other reward but what already thou hast bestowed on me which I haue I must needs conâ—esse receaued gratis of thy Mercy without any desert of mine owne yet that which tâ—ou hast so already done for me is sufficient to declare to Heauen and earth the superaboundance of thy mercy and clemency to a sinful and contempâ—tible creature I wil there for sing vnto thee mercy and iudgment al the days of my life wishing always that thy wil which is Iustice it-selâ—â— may be wholy and perfectly accomâ—plishâ—d in me thy sinful seruant Let me liue as-long as it pleaseth thee or dy in the very beginning of these my desires to loue send sicknes or health suddain or lingring death pouerty or aboundance good fame or that I be by al the world despised and in fine in al do with me as it is most for thine honour For in this I plaâ—e al my comfort and happines faithfully to serue thee and to be little or great in thine eyes as seemeth best to thee For I accompt it a sufficient reward for al that euer I shal be able to do or suffer that thou hast admitted me vnworthy wretch into a place of liuing where I may know and euen see with mine eyes how to serue and please thee this I say is more then can be deserued by me For to serue thee is an honour aboue al that can be imagined by me yet without any regard of recompence it is due to thee that I serue and loue thee with al the forces of my body and soul which grant I may now begin to do and perseuer therin til my end that I may for thy own sake obtain the happines eternally to praise thee O remoue al impediments between my soul and thee Let me dy to al created things that I may liue alone to theeâ— O let al creatures be to me as if they were not to the end I may more fully attend to thee in the bottome of my soul where I wil in silence harken to thee Speak Peace to my soul that I may be capable of thy voice more sweet then al things whatsoeuer Speak to my hart but speak so as I may hear thee Teach me how to practise to thy honour those diuine vertues which make souls so pleasing to thee to wit Charity Humility Obedience Patience and Discretion which iudgeth between custome and true reason between opinion and thy true Iustice which manifesteth it self to those souls who seek only to loue and praise thee THIS pious soul hauing written thus far went no farther being surprised with a bodily indisposition vpoâ— the 29. or 30. of Iuly 1633. which proued to be hâ—r last sicknes that brought her to a happy death vpon the 17. of August following The last of these Confessions saue one she began as there appeareth vpon S. Mary Magdalens day being the 22. of Iuly next bâ—fore her death HEERE FOLLOVV SOME other Sentences and Sayings of the same pious Soul found in some others papers of hers THE interior or Spiritual disposition os man is of that great and infinit worth and moment that so it be wel al other matters wil also go wel and be in good plight And the good state of the interior and therby also of the exterior proceedeth from the harkning to and following of the Diuine interior Cal or inspiration the which to a â—oul capable of an internal life is or ought to be as al in al. And wo to such a soul who ouercome by threats or perswaâ—ions from without or by temptations within her or other occasions whatsoeuer gâ—ueth ouer her prosecution of Mental prayer by meanes wherof only is she capable of discerning and following the diuine wil and Cal. And therefor ô you souls that are capable of internal prayer do you accordingly prosecute it and be grateful to God for the grace of it For it causeth the greatest happines that is to be gotten in this liâ—e and an answarable happines in the future For by it in this life one passeth through al things how hard and paineful soeuer they be By it we become familiar euen with God him-self and to haue our conuersation in Heauen By it al impediments wil be remoued between God and the soulâ— By it you shal receaue light and grace for al that God would do by you By it we shal come to regard God in al things and profitably neglect our selues By it we shal know how to conuerse on earth without prâ—iudice to our souls And in fine by it we shal praise God and become so vnited to him that nothing shal be able to separate vs for time or eternity from his sweet Goodnes And let him be al in al to vs who only can satisfy our souls He is his own Praise iâ— which and by wâ—ich we are infinitly happy though of our selues we aâ—e able to praise and loue him but in a very poore maner who can say that desire nothing but to loue and praise him that they are poor seeing he who is more theirs then they are their owne is so rich ond to whom nothing is wanting that should make him an infinit happines in this let vs ioy in this iet vs glory without intermission when we are not able to attend vnto him and praise him as we would let vs commend our hart and soul to the Saints in Hâ—auen who without ceasing praise our Lord Let vs do that by them which we are not able to do by our selues yea let vs desire him who is his own praise and only is able to do it as he dâ—serueâ—h to haue it done to supply what he desireâ—h we should wish him Lâ—t vs sâ—ek no other coÌ„foâ—t but to be able without al comfort to be true to him Let vs rest in him alone and and not in any thing that is or can be creaâ—ted Let vs not seâ—ke the gist but the giuer O hoW little is al the loue we can giue him in comparison of that he deserueth from vs where therefâ—r shal thâ—re be room for any created thing in out souls Let vs wish and desire and as far as it lyes in vs procure that al loue be giuen to him Let him haue al Glory al Honour and al Praise Let vs desire the fauour of none but him alone to whose free disposition let vs stand for time and eternity as absolutly by ouâ— wil as if we neuer had any other freedom of wâ—l in vs. Nothing we do or suffer let vs esteâ—me great for our sinnes deserue much more Let our whole care tend to the magnifying of him Let his honour bâ— ours and let vs seek nothing
wil and pleasure may be perfectly accomplished in al creatures and last of al though not with the least affection I offer to thee this thy Conuent wherof though very vnworthy of such a fauour as to liue in such a happy company I am a poor imperfect member beseeching thee for thy owâ—e sake and by the loue thou bearest to al such as truly seek to please thee alone that thou wilâ— mercifully enrich their souls with the most aboundant gifts of thy grace so that their whole study may be to please praise and worship thee in spirit and truth and especially I offer thee thoâ—e therein that haue done do or shal heerafter by their patience in supporting the defects of their Sisters and helping them by that meanes to beare their burthen and by their giuing good example in Humility Obedience and other vertues be a meane or helpe to the maintaining of Peace in this thy house towards which thou hast shewed so much Prouidence that if we cast not our whole care both for body and soul vpon thee we shal not deserue the fauâ—urs thou hast shewed to vs. We are thy little flock keepe thou euer possession of vs let vs be of one mind and of one hart and let vs al and euery one with one consent according to thy grace giuen vs simply intend and regard â—hee in al we do tâ—ink speak or desire thou hast called vs and gathered vs together send vs a good life and a happy death to thy Praise Honour and Glory who art God of al things and to whom now and for euer be giuen al Laud and Praise by al creatures Amen Amen Delicta iuuentutis meae ignorantias meas ne memineris Domine Ab oâ—cultis meis munda me Domine ab alienis parce seruo tuo O Domine Spes mea delicta quis entelligit O my God my deare delight and al my hâ—ppines Thou knowst I groan in spirit against my-self to think that I made no more hast to couclude an euerlasting league and peace with thee my God! O teach me to loue or let me not liue thou only canst do al things and I as tâ—ou wel knowst can do nothing Behold I desiâ—e to leaue al to find thee and to dy to al created things to the end I may liue only in and to thee I desire only thee and to reâ—urn to thee the beginning of al creatures and the supreame beloued of al chast souls O how powerful is thy true loue in a pure soul O purify my hart and soul so that nothing but thy loue may liue in me O when shal I see my soul vnited to thee O when by true loue shal my soul languish for thee O when shal I be wholy turned into the loue of thee O that I might do in al things that which is pleasing to thee O when shal my soul by transcending al created things become capable by Charity of embracing thee in the bottom of my poor soul O loue loue loâ—e what wonderful effects dost tâ—ou work in a soul Thy loue my God doth sweeten al miâ—eriâ—s aâ—d maketh light al burthens and labours Verily nothing in the wâ—rld is so delightâ—ful to them that loue it and haue as much of it as they can desire and enioy al the pleasures and contents thereof as it is to a louing soul that sincerely seeketh thee to suffer for thy loue O my God what do we loose euen in this life when we wish for loue or desire any thing besids thee It is only loue that draweth thee down to vs and eleuateth vs vp to thee O who would not suffer any thing to obâ—ain this loue Nothing can comfort or satisfy my soul but to loue thee When wilt thou replenish my hart with thy pure loue that resteth in thee aboue thy gifts that my soul may truly adore thee in spirit and truth Thou knowst that no grasse doth so wither for want of water as doth my poor sinful soul for want of â—hy loue O that without ceasing I could praise thee As the sâ—ag or hart beiug tired with pursuit doth thirst and pant after a sweet Spring so doth my soul after thee it hauing been much more tired with streying from thee then the poor hart can be by being chaced by his enemâ—es by as much more as it is more greiuous to be hurt by ones self then to haue it done by others O wâ—en shal I in al things do thy wil that my actions may be iust and plâ—asing to thee O when shal I so humble my-self â—hat I may be worthy in some sort to praise thee whom now for my pride I am not fit to name Iesu Son of Dauid haue mercy on me and of thy great pitty and Charity remember me among the Whelps that expect and beg vnder thy table for one crum of grace from thee Where but vnder the shaddow of thy wings shal I repose from the heat of al inordinate paâ—â—ions and desires and from that mid-day Sun that parcheth and withereth away the new spriggs or leaues of my new sowen desir of louing praising and pleasing thee alone my Lord and my God Who but thy self by thy swâ—et grace can preserue mâ— from fâ—lling into my old sins and sorrowes Thou therefor art my only Refâ—ge in this day of my tribulation and amidst the storms of this world to thee I reueale my cause be thou my strength and my Glory that I may at last laying down the burthen of this mortal flesh be admitted into that place where I may Praise thee for euer and euer Amen O my God when shal that time come that I shal neuer more offend thee This is the mâ—sery wherein I languish and which maketh this world tedious to me This only is truly to be tearmed an affliction and misery and nothing is truly to be accounted misery but to displease thy diuine Maiesty Iesu Son of Dauid haue mercy on my sinful soul. O how happy are those that loue thee O loue loue loue of my God how far is my sinful soul from the happines of enioying thee as my soul desireth Nothing is sweet to a hart that desireth to loue her God but to sigh long and pant after him O who wil giue me the wings of a Doue that I may fly into the open wounds of my beloued O my God my oâ—ly desire how long shal I thus be estranged from thee the God of my hart and my portion for euer O the most dearly beloued of my soul how long shal I by inordinatly adhering to created things bâ— so far from louing thee as I ought to do O thou who only deserueth our loue my God and my al Lord my God who alone art good and iust shal I any longer loue uanity and seek after a lye How long shal thy dispositions and most righteous ordinances be dâ—spleasing to thy poore seruant How long shal I resist thy diuine wil Verily my God in this my misery I sigh
vnto thee who art my hope from my youâ—h and am displeased with my-self for hauing been so vngrateful to thy sweet mercy acknowledging before Heauen aâ—d earth that nothing is iust but that which thou disposest and nothing is wel done saue so far as it is done by thee so much as any thing I do or say is only of mine own wil and desire so far it iustly deserueth punishment to thee be al glâ—ry In nothing is true Peace but in seekâ—ng after God aâ—one and in resting â—n him aboue al his giâ—ts O my God when shal I be able to say Quis me separabit à Charitate Dei VVho shal separate me from the Charity of God O when shal I by true loue become vnited to thee the only desire of my hart and soul Vsquequo Domine obliuisceris me in finem Vsquequo auertis faciem tuam à me How long wilt thou forget me vnto the end Hâ—w long doth thou turn away thy face from me wilt thou for euer be angry with thy poor seruant Behold thou knowst I desire no other comfort vpon earth then to be able without offending thee to liue without al comfort human or diuine O how litâ—le to be esteemed is al the solaces this world can afford The wicked haue been telling me of their delights but they are not like those of thy Law What comfort can any creature lâ—uing afford a soul that sigheth and longeth after thee alone my God and is bannished from the beloned of her soul Verily my God it is only thy-self that can reioyce and comfort such a soul thou only art sweet and al things compared to thee are as nothing and lesse then nothing O my Lord and my God tel me is there any thing in Heauen or on Earth that can satisfy my soul besids thee No certainly Why then dost thou permit me thus to wander from thee who art only worthy to be desired and beloued by my soul O my most deare God who can comprehend the misery that soule suffereth that taketh comfort or desireth any comfort from any creature O how long shal I be subiect to this mysery of inordâ—natly louing thy creatures so that it is an impediment to the louing of thee my Creator who art the supreame Good To thee alone is al loue due and we do steal from thee when our affection is willingly caried to any thing els whatsoeuer O my God my Mercy let vs loue thee as thy diuine Maiesty who art Lord of al things in whose power al things do stand let me I say loue thee as thou wouldst be beloued by me O my Lord as-long as the peace of my soul dependeth of men I can neuer repose in thee or â—ind thee in the bottom of my soul What came I into Râ—ligion â—or but to loue and praise my God my Lord and al my good O when shal I as I desire loue thee and please thee my God and al my desire O my God how cometh it to passe that thou whose mercies are super omnia opera eius Aboue al his works shouldst be now tearmed to be terrible and hard to be pleased Verily I am a sinner and the greatest of al sinners and yet I haue found thee so good and easily pleased that nothing is more pleasant then to serue thee for loue and to beare thy yoke from our youth The yoke of sin is heauy but thine is sweet aboue a the contâ—ntments and pleasures of this world Let those that seek not thee and that desire any thing willingly but thee feare and return to theâ— but let the harts of them that loue thee reioice O Lord. But can I say I loue Verily not I. But shal I for this feareâ— No my God at least not so as to loose confidence which hath in it a great remuneration For seeing by thy grace I desire to loue and to leaue al for loue I wil hopâ— in thy Mercâ— let it assist my extreame frailty anâ— pouerty Of my-self I am nothing but in thy power I shal be able to do al things Thou knowst that I desire to leaue al for thy sake and that if I knew any thing that I loued to the impediment â—of my truly seruing thee it would be so greâ—t a gâ—eif to my soul that nothing in Heauen or earth could comforâ— me til I see my-self freed from that miserable bondage by thy aâ—â—isting Graceâ— which I implore from the bottom of my soul Set me free I mosâ— humbly beseech thee by the multitude oâ— thy Mercies from the sinnes into which I daily fal through my frailty remoue al impedâ—ments between my soul and thee for I am frail aboue al measure Let me liue to thee dying to al other things whatsoeuer Let me find and possesse thee in the bottom of my soul Let al creatures be â—ilent that thou alone maist be heard by me And I wil not trouble my-self with them without who are puffing and blowing and thereby raising vp the dust of multiplicity into their own and others eyes Let me enter into the most retired place of my soul and sing loue songs to thee my Al and only Good regarding thee with the simple eye of my soul and sighing out certaâ—n vnspeakabe groans in this pilgrimage of mine into the eares oâ— the only beloued of my hart and soul wo is me that euer I offended such a God! Be propitious O Lord vnto my sin for it is great O Mercy which hath neither end nor measure haue pitty on me and forgiue me my sins Amen God! Let thy Truth and not the blindnes of my own ignorance speak to me Speak Lord for thy seruant heareth or at least desireth to hear thee Behold I set open the eares of my soul that I mny heare my beloued speak Iustice and Peace to my hart For thy voice is sweet and thy face comely and there is none like vnto thâ—e in Beawty and wisedom Thou my God the repose of my labour the ioy of my soul and the comfort of my hart Be to me al in al and aboue al which can be enioyed ot desired Let me O let me rest in thee and in no created thing whatsoeuer Simplify my soul that it may be able to adhere to thee my God transcending al created things O when shal my soul forget al and only be mindful of thee the most pure spirit resting in thee aboue al thy Graces and Gifts O when shal I be by profound Humility reduced to the nothing which only makes a a soul capable of thee who art al good things who art that simple good in which nothing is wanting How long shal I glory in any created thing and seek my-self to the dishonour of him with out whom I could neither haue life nor being much lesseâ— to be able without him to do any thing meriting grace and Saluation O my God when wilt thou set me free that I may glory in thee alone and not by pride exalt
dust and ashes which is blown awâ—y with euery wind and hath no stability in it but so far as it is holpen by thy meere Mercy What flesh dareâ—h glory in itself or presume it is able to do any good Verily my God if I had most couragiously vndergon al the temptations miseries and afflictions that haue been or euer shal be by al thy seruants together I ought not to think my-self able to suffer the least that can be imagined as of my-self but iustly ought to feare mine own frailty Let them that glory therefor glory in thee and not in themselues O that some little spark of that true light which true Humility causeth would enter into my soul and neuer depart out of it til I were wholy trasformed into that loue which giueth thee al and it-it-self nothing sauing its own defectuousnes Thou only art Iust thou only Holy and I the most vile and contemptible of al thy creatutes in thine eyes who discerneth most cleerly how it stands with me for my pride and other my abominable sinnes Wash me in thy Bloud and I shal yet become whiter then snow What would it auaile me if I were neuer so great in the eyes of men yea euen as great as I most vnworthy am in mine own Could they saue me or iustify me in thy sight Is it not affirmed by the Spirit of al Truth Vanitas omnis homo viuens Al liuing man is vanity without any exception of persons Verily my God we are indeed but as we are in thy sight who iudgest according to the Humility of our hart which is hidden from the sense of man Man may iudg that to be Humility which indeed is pride and there is no pride so great as that which clotheth it-self vnder he colour of Humility but thou canst not be deceaued by any O happy soul that only desireth thee to be a witnes of her desirs endeauours and intentions Happy they that are approued by thee my God though heâ—r they be despised neglected and contemned by the whole world With what face can my soul tel my God I desire to loue him if I do it not more willingly then I do vndergo the hard censures of men Shal I desire that which I do or say may be wel thought of by others since my God him-self was thought to do al he did in the power of Beelzebub Shal she who hath done nothing that is good be in esteeme when as her beloued who is goodnes and Iustice it-self was despised and contemned O my God far be this disloyalty from my hart Let me suffer for my sinnes that I may become pleasing in thy sight which is al my soul desireth O my God when shal I find and possesse thee in the bottom of my soul When shal the eyes of my body be so closed from beholding al vanity that the eyes of my soul may be cleered by thee to the discerning of truth Truly thou art a hidden God and none can walk in thy light but the peaceful Humble patient and clean of hart O if we did but once see in thy light of truth how little we are able to do or suffer of our selues we would tremble to think we were able to do any thing that were good or to attribute any thing to our own endeauours Nisi Dominus aedificauerit domum in vanum laborauerunt qui aedificant eam Nisi Dominus custodierit ciuitaetem fruâ—tra vigilat qui custodit eam Vnles God build the house in vaine do they laâ—our who build it Vnles God guard the City in vaine do they watch who guard it It is in vaine for you to rise before light O light shine in my soul and let not the darknes of mine own ignorance ouerwhelme me any longer Let my soul loue that it may liue in and to thee alone my Lord God VVhen wilt thou giue me the graâ—e of true Humility which is so much spoken of and so hard to be known what it is indeed O we can neuer while we lâ—ue in this world be secure from falling into the cursed sin of pride which maketh souls more odious to thee then any oâ—her sin whatsoeuer O my God helpe me out of this snare which laieth open the way to al other sinnes O who dare though hee had been rapt into the third Heauens with S. Paul attribute any gift or grace to his owne desert What haue we that we haue not receaued and if we haue â—eceaued it wherof should we glory O how soone do we loose the the labour of many years in one moment by pride God protecteth vs and directeth vs if we remain humble but in our pride he leaueth vs to our selues til we see and feele to our cost our own weaknes and misery O how plaine doth it appeare to those who are now secure for al eternity in thy Heauenly Kingdom that if thou hadst with drawn thy grace from them while they liued heer their case would haue been most miserable O how far are they from attributing any thing to their own metits saue so far as they were meerly enabled therto by thy grace And how far short do they esteeme their deserts to be of the Glory and Honour they receaue from thy Merciful and bountiful hand What pains what labours what suffering of disgraces can deserue to enioy thee and see theeâ—ace â—ace to face â—or euer and euer Certainly those who enioy this happines haue receaued it by the merits of thy most bitter death and Passion which God graunt may bring me wretch also to Saluation Amen O Loue loue loue when shall nothing els liue in me but thy true loue my God how long shal I remaine deuided from thee When shal I by pure and perfect loue be vnited to my God al impediments being remoued When shal no created thing be able to diuert my soul from attending to my Lord God When shal I be able to suffer without offending my God or being weary thereof O how little true peace doth that soul enioy who careth for the praises of men or feareth their dispraises Nothing more slippery nothing more vnconstant nothing more vncertain then the fauour or friendship of man who to day wil be thy friend and extol thee to the skies to morrow none wil haue thee lesse in esteeme then he and what a misery then is it to place happines or security in the fauour of man And this ô my soul thy God permits thee to see to the end thou shouldst adhere to him alone and not to that which is subiect to fail Desire the friendship of God alone and then his friends both in Heauen and earth shal be ready to serue thee for thy aduancement in his loue and seruice What can any man diminish of thy good by his speaking or thinking il of thee Or what can he add to thee indeed by highly esteeming of thee Remember that al Praise is due vnto God but to thee confusion of face
me in their holy prayers which are most pleasing to thee And I also desire that some wil out of their Châ—rity reade these things to me which heerafter follow when sicke to deathâ— shal be becompassed with those fears and terrors which ordinarily accompany that dreadful hower at which time as al oâ—her be thou my helper and Protectorâ— and in the Bowels of thy Mercy Good Father remâ—mber me poor begger and from heauen send me now and at my departure thy Grace which may bring me to thee where I may with al thy Elect Praiseâ— Adore and worship thee for euer and euer An acte of Contrition partly taken ouâ— of the words of blessed S. Augustin 1. O LORD I confesse I haue sinned aboue the sands of the Sea in number yet such is the greife which I take thereat that I wil not refuse to suffer any kind of punâ—shment for thâ— same O Iesus whatsoeuer thy wil shal be that I should do I desire to performe it according to thy holy wil. I haue nothing to offer vnto thee but a hart willing to do whatsoeuer thouâ—ouldst â—ouldst haue me 2. Hâ—er I offer my-self bound both hand and foot and I lye prostrate at thy feet crauing pardon for my abominable sins and offences 3. I fly not away I appeale not from thy sentence oâ—herwise then from thy Iustice to thy Mercy which we sinners do daily experience to be aboue al thy works 4. I do not plead to be released of any punishment but rather that thou maist iudge me according to thine own Blessed wil only let me not be separated from thee O thou thy-self dost say to vs Thou wilt not sinners death But that we do conuert and liue euen while our souls haue breath And no more then to cease to be canst thou O God refuse To pardon humble penitents that do themselues accuse Being no accepter of persons al hauing cost thee deare Yea euen thy very life it-self how can I therefor fear If euer yet he did disdain sinners that fled to him Then had I little cause of hope but this was neuer seen Foâ— if they doe return to thee thy hart thou wilt not close As witnes can my wretched soul who was so like to lose Al grace and goodnes if thou hadst not me with helpe preuented By sins that would with bloudy teares be while I liue lamented If I as grateful were to thee as thou deseruest I should Or as another in my case vuto thy mercy would But thou whiles that thou liuedst heer by tokens plain didst shew That none should be refused by thee who dost in mercy flow And that my wicked hart did proue who after â—ins so many Hath found much fauour in thine eys without deseruing any O blessed euer be my God for this preuenting grace Which I vnworâ—â—y haue receaud in this most happy place I fled from thee by many sins and thou didst follow me As if my ruin would haue causd some detriment to thee How can this choose but wound my hart when I remember it And euer serue to humble me while at thy feet I sit From whence my Lord my God and al permit me not to rise til I do loue thee as thou wouldst the which doth al comprise 5. I know thou wilst not the death of a sinner but rather that I be conuerted and liue 6. Be pacified therefor I beseech thee for thine own saâ—e and receaue me into thy fauour looke vpon thine own wounds and let them plead my pardon do not for euer blot me out of â—he book of life but rather giue me grace faithfully heerafter to serue and please thee 7. I know it is reason that one who hath been so vngrateful to thy Supreame Maiesty as I haue been should humbled despise and willingly abase himself euen at the feet of al creatures which thy sweet Goodnes grant me to do that I may heerafter find sauour in thine eyes who be blessed and praised by al for euer Amen O sweet Iesus to whom nothing is impossible but not to be merciful to the miserable forgiue me mine offence I am sorry from the bottom of my hart that euer I offended thee or contradicted thy holy wil but I know thou canst forgiue more then I can offend which maketh me confident of being receaued into thy fauour though thy most aboundant Mercy to whom my God be giuen al Laud. Honour and Praise by al creatures in heauen and in earth for euer and euerâ— Amen O amiable Iesus behold al thy creatures do inuite and exhort me to yeald thâ—e praises for al thy benefits which haue been I must ackowledg without end or measure towards me thy vnworthy creature Euery creature doth in their kind sing and set forth thy great Goodnes inuiting me to loue only thee and yet behold how cold and dul I am in Louing Praising and Exalting thee O what shal I say but cry out to thee who art my hope my help my Loue my life and Al yea my Father my Spouse and my God to grant thy Grace may not be void in me after so many infinit benefits O be thou heerafter the only desire and ioy of my soul. Let me look after nothing but thee loue nothing but thee let me night and day sigh and long after thee my beloued Let it suffice me to haue my inteutions and proceedings only approued by thee O let me honour and respect al for thy sake howsoeuer they treate me for my ingratitude hath been so great to thee that al creatures as wel goâ—d as bad may iustly despise me and do thee great honour thereby I offer thee therefor thine own merits seeing I haue none of mine own for those that shal any way reuenge thy quarrel by afflicting her who deserueth nothing but hel for hauing so often offended thee After something which she had collected out of the following of Christ concerning Prayer she writ as followeth O MY Lord God how much do thy Saints praise and commend the holy Exercise of Praier O how happy are â—hose that haue no other study or care then how to extol and praise thy Diuine Maiesty and in Humility of hart to make their necessities known vnto thee who art the Father of Mercies Dius totius consolationis qui consolatur nos in omni tribulatione nostra And the God of al consolation who comforts vs in al our tribulation To whom should we sinners fly but to thee my God who didst thou euer reiect that lamented and wâ—s sory for their sinnes Nay did not publicans and harlots finde thee more willing to forgiue theÌ„ they could be to aske for pardon Thou who forgauest S. Peter S. Mary Magdalen S. Augustin and infinit others their sinnes and offences be merciful to me who groaneth in spirit against my-self to see and remember that I haue made no more hast to conclude an euerlasting peace and league with thee O my God To thee now al the powers of my scattered
those that afflict thee and render good for euil to those that molest thee and being a comfort in al thou canst imagin to those that are afflicted either in body or in mâ—nd without exception of persons is included in the gaining of that most to be desired promise Remember with ioy and imitate the best thou art able the happy example of the late blessed Bishop of Geneua of whom it is reported that one in his diocese exceâ—dinly molesting afflictâ—ng and persecuting this holy Saint yét he vsed him with al loue gentlenes and respect yea more then any other person At which patient proceeding of his one of his subiects wondrâ—ng at and speaking to him of it asked him how he could vse that man so mildly who neuer requited him with other then il turnes for al the grace he shewed him being as it were top ful of bitternes against him To which the Saint humbly answâ—ered O â—aâ—th he if he should put out one of mine eyes I woul smile vpon him wâ—h the other I beseech thee my God for thy own sake graÌ„t thy vnworthiest seruant grace to imiâ—ate this example though to speake truly none can do her an iniury who deserueth so much in punishment for her sinnes Psal. 41. vers 6. and 7. VVby art thou sorrowful my soul and why dost thon trouble me Hope in God because yet I wil confesse to him the saluation of my counâ—â—nance and my God O my soul hope in thy God who can do al things O blessed Hope and Confidence which is able to obtain al things and ouercome al things v. 11. In the day our Lord hath commanded his Merey and in the night a song of him Dost thou not hear my soul tâ—y Lord doth require of thee Mercy towards thy euen Christian for that he sheweth to thee And that night and day thou wâ—lt sing his Praise But Lord thou knowst that thy Praise is not seemly in the mouth of a sinner What then shal I do O hope in thy Mercy Certaine â—omfortable sayings taken out of the holy Scripture for the encouradgment of those that desire with all their harts to Loue and please our most merciful God and first out of the Prophet Isaie Chap. the first VVASH you be cleane take away the euil of your cogitations from mine eyes Câ—ase to do peruersly 17. Learne to do good Seek iudgment succour the oppressed iudge for pupil defend the widow And come and accuse me saith our Lord. 18. If your sins shal be as scarlet they shal be made as whit as snow and if they be as red as vermilion they shal be whit as wool 19. If you be willing and wil hear me you shal eat the good things of the earth 22. Thy siluer is turned into drosse thy wine is mingled with water But hear what followeth O my soul and therefor be not discomforted though al thou dost and sufferest be very imperfect yet behold what he promiseth who can do al things If he wil he can make thee clean If he command the wind and sea wil be stil and there wil eâ—sue a calme Commit thy â—elf to him and he wil helpe thee when he thinketh fit O God thy wil be done therefor in me for euer and euer Amen 25. I wil turn my hand to thee and boyle out thy drâ—ssâ—â—il it be pure and wil take away al thy tinâ—e 26. Aâ—ter these things thou shalt be called the Iust a faithful City Shal I feare to be forsaken by thee my God after al these sweet promises No I wil hope in the multitude of thy Mercies Though I haue hitherto sinued against Heauen and before thee so that I am not worthy to be called thy child yet let me eat of the crumes which fal from my Maisters table that I may grow stronger heerafter in resisting that which maketh me displeasing in thy pure eyes Hear my Lord the voyce of a sinner which would faine loue tâ—ee and with her hart and soul as greatly please the as euer she bath offended thee Let me either loue or not liâ—e I know thy Merciâ—s are so great that tâ—ou hast admitted those to eat of the bread of Angels which hertofore fed of Huskes like swine yea S. Gertrude saith that the more base vile and contemptible the creature is to whom thou shewest mercy the more extolled art tâ—ou by al thine Angels and Saints in Heauen I wil therefore hope in thee and beseech al tâ—y Saints to pray for me and praise tâ—ee for taking pitty of me who am not worthy to cast vp`mine eyes to Heauen much les to thinke vpon or praise tâ—ee To thee O my God and al my desire be giuen perpetual Praise and Adoration for al eternity by al creatures Amen CHAP. II. COme let vs go vp to the Mount of our Lord and to the house of the Gâ—d of Iacob and he wil teach vs his waies aâ—d we shal walke in his â—athes 5. Houâ—e of Iacob come ye and let vs walke in the light of our Lord. O my God happy are they that walke in this light In this light none walke but the Humble and cleane of hart and those that serue thee for loue whose ioy thou thy-thy-self art and who sing with the Prophet Rennit consolari anima mea My soul refused to be comforâ—ed These do in some sorte more or lesse as thou pleasest find how sweet and happy a thing it is to seeke and sigh after thee alone Return my soul to thy beloued return seek for no consolation but put thy hope in God Commit thy-self vnto God and let him do with thee what pleaseth him Neuer seeke thine owne glory neuer desire thy wil may be done but in al things intend loue and preferre the Glory and wil of God If any come vnto him he shal not return empty because he willngly giueth water to the thirsty In the bowels of thy Mercy my God remember me poor begger born and liuing in blindnes Grant me that I may see and walke in â—hy light that my soul may become truly pleasing to thee O my Lord God whom only I desire to loue serue and praise make me in al things conformable to thy holy wil who be blessed for euer and euer Amen Amen Amenâ— Scio cui credidi certus sumâ— I know whom I haâ—e trusted and am secure saith S. Paul O glorious S. Augustin my deare Patron whom from my infancy in my poor mauer I haue honoured in a particular maner and who hast been alwaies ready to assist me in calling vpon thee I beseech thee for the loue of him by whose loue thy hart was so inflamed to assist me at the hour of my death and obtaine for me of our Lord that liuing and dying I may be wholy conformable to his Blessed wil neither desiting for time or eternity any other thing then that his diuine pleasure be perfectly accomplished in me his vnworthy vngrateful creature And in that dreadful houre
thy own self my Lord who made vs for this alone that by true sincerâ— affection we should adhere to thee the chiefe and supreame Good O woe is me iâ— for any intention or for any creatures sake whatsoeuer I should do any thing with other intention willingly then to please and become inwardly in the bottom of my souâ— vnited to thee heer by grace and in Heauen for al eternity Al things and creatures fail only tâ—y-self art constant thou art alwayeâ— present alwaies willing to helpe thy poor seruants euer ready â—o cure our woundsâ— which through human frailty by sin we daily cause in our souls Let vs who haue been greiuous sinners and do so aboundantly experience thy Mercy giue great and continual praise to thee our God who hath sweetly redeemed vs to thy-self in the Bloud of Iesus thy Sonne the immaculate Lambe giuing vs therby hope of remission of our innumerable sins Great art thou O Lord and exceeding worthy of al Praise O let al things Adore and Exalt my God with al their soul and strength What other study what other endeauourâ— or what other desire shal possesse my soul willingly day or night but that I may in al and aboue al things praise and loue my God As nothing is superior to a soul but thy self so nothing but thou can satisfy and satiat our souls in Heaueâ— oâ— earth nothing I say but thy-self to whom ouly let my hart â—ende and only in al things intend Thou being the only true and proper Center of our hart and soul what can make this miserable banishment where to my greife I daily offend thee tolerable to me but only to aspire to thee by sighs desires and vnspeakable groanes in my hart and soul O let true loue vnite me to thee who art by al Adored and Praised for al eternity in thy Heauenly contrey Amen Some speeches of heathen Consuls and Philosophers which shew Christians their duty also their happines in knowing how to make good vse of their knowledge to their Saluation in which those Heathens perished becaâ—s they did not beleeue and acknowledg our Lord God but vanish away in their own cogitations by seeking only fame honour and applause of the people c. which yet in their wisedom they saw to be but an vncertain vanity AND first The answer of one of the greatest and wiâ—est of them when he waâ— offered power and honour and sacrifice according to their custome of vsing such as for wisedome nobility and couradg deserued it in their eyes The more saith he I consideâ— with myself of things done boâ—h in old and later times the more the vncertainties and vanities of fortune in al moral affaires oâ—curâ—e to my rememhrance and the more plainly doth their vanity appeare vnto me O my God what a deâ—inition is heer of a heathen which did not so much as know thee or for what end this vncertainty was in them permitted by thee What a shame is it if we who are not only Christians but religious should esteem or seek after any thing but thee in whom alone is stabiliâ—y to be found and enioyed One hing is necessary Let chance fortun power where it is giuen by thee dâ—spose of al things as they wil as for me I wâ—l sing in al occurrences It is good for me to adhere to my Lord God thâ— only desire and beloued of my soul and hart I wil hauâ— no care or study but how I may in al chances spend my whole forcâ—s and strength in his Praise who be Adored prostrat by al creatures for euer and euer Amen Amen ANOTHER SAID Such as stand in feare are irresolute in al their determinations He spoake it of those who out of feare to displease and desire to please for human respects became â—hereby a slaue to euery ones humour and keept not their freedom and liberty which was got by suppressing of natural passions Another speaking in a controuersy where one was to be iudg of two accusing on another and defending themselues before the Senate saith The truth or thing beleeued and wrested to the worst are easiâ—y to be discerned by one iudg if he be vise vpright and iust and not interrested in neiâ—her side Also another said That the disloyal are odious euen to those whose instrumeÌ„ts they are Of a little beginning comes often great incoÌ„uenience which might be preuented by doing as one of the Heathens dâ—d who excelled most of his time in Nobiâ—ity wisedom and al moral vertues who had so great temper ouer his affections and passions that neither for honour as being offered to be made a King nor for gain would he be false to his Pâ—iâ—ce who yet fauoured him â—o little by reason he was so much honoured by al the common wealthâ— that he gaue way to haue him poisoned at thirty years of age he being also his own father that was Caesar. He was so iust that in matâ—ers of the greatest controuersy he alwaies did true Iustice and his enemy whom he knew sought his death he honoured as his Partner being yet in nobility much his inferior but boare rule with him at Caesars command This enemy being once at a baÌ„quet with him where most of the Nobility were present he vttered sâ—ch disgraceful words and speaches of him to his face that al were amazed to see him not so much as change his counâ—enance at him And after this hearing he was in distresse at Sea he sent his own Conuoy to deliuer him from drowning though he knew his iourney was to accuse him to Caesar and the Senat and also to plot his death which indeed heat last achiued being both at one Bancquet not loÌ„g afâ—er which example sheweth vs how amiable vertue is euen in the very Heathens in whom it was but moral â—how much ought we to practise it in whom by Charity it becometh Diuine O how truly glorious are they my God who indeed posses thy loue which so worthily by holy Scripture is tearmed most Honourable wisedome But alas to humain frailty it is hard to put vp iniuries much more to do good for euil at least nature suggesteth to vs that it is vnpleasant and therefore vrgeth vs not to put vp this or that least those who are contrary to vs do add difficulty vpon difficulty seeing we put it vp so quietly But this pretence of nature is so fals and oft euen in humain respects so inconuenient whilst we by disputing resisting or in the like maner requiting do draw grater incoÌ„â—eniences vpon our selues where as quietly â—erting it passe it would soon come to nothing Nayfarther I wil speak add this to the honour of my Lord God whose way of vertue and the Cross is so sweet in coÌ„parison of the way of sin and yealding to our passionsâ— that if he had neuer intended other reward for those that Humbly practise vertue and go the way of Resignation but that they receaue in this life he