very_a deep_a pause_n about_o the_o most_o fearful_a state_n my_o sin_n have_v bring_v i_o to_o and_o after_o long_o muse_v i_o lift_v up_o my_o head_n but_o i_o think_v i_o see_v as_o if_o the_o sun_n that_o shine_v in_o the_o heaven_n do_v grudge_v to_o give_v i_o light_n and_o as_o if_o the_o very_a stone_n the_o street_n and_o tile_n upon_o the_o house_n do_v bend_v themselves_o against_o i_o o_o how_o happâ—_n now_o be_v every_o creature_n over_o i_o be_v for_o they_o stooâ—_n fast_o and_o keep_v their_o station_n but_o i_o be_v go_v anâ—_n lose_v 143._o then_o break_v out_o in_o the_o bitterness_n of_o my_o soul_n i_o say_v with_o a_o grievous_a sigh_n how_o can_v god_n comfort_v such_o a_o wretch_n as_o i_o i_o have_v no_o soon_o say_v it_o but_o this_o return_v upon_o i_o as_o a_o echo_n do_v answer_v a_o voice_n this_o sin_n be_v not_o unto_o death_n at_o which_o i_o be_v as_o if_o i_o have_v be_v raise_v out_o of_o a_o grave_n and_o cry_v out_o again_o lord_n how_o can_v thou_o find_v out_o such_o a_o word_n as_o this_o for_o i_o be_v fill_v with_o admiration_n at_o the_o firness_n and_o also_o at_o the_o unexpectedness_n of_o the_o sentence_n 144._o now_o i_o be_v in_o hope_n that_o my_o sin_n be_v not_o unpardonable_a but_o that_o there_o may_v be_v hope_n for_o i_o to_o obtain_v forgiveness_n but_o o_o how_o satan_n now_o diâ—_n lie_v about_o he_o for_o to_o bring_v i_o down_o again_o but_o he_o can_v by_o no_o mean_n do_v it_o neither_o this_o day_n nor_o the_o most_o part_n of_o the_o next_o for_o this_o good_a sentence_n stand_v like_o a_o mill-post_n at_o my_o back_n yet_o towards_o the_o evening_n of_o the_o next_o day_n i_o feel_v this_o word_n begin_v to_o leave_v i_o and_o to_o withdraw_v its_o supportation_n from_o i_o and_o so_o i_o return_v to_o my_o old_a fear_n again_o but_o with_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o grudge_v and_o peevishness_n for_o i_o fear_v the_o sorrow_n of_o it_o 145._o but_o the_o next_o day_n at_o evening_n be_v under_o many_o fear_n i_o go_v to_o seek_v the_o lord_n and_o as_o i_o pray_v i_o cry_v to_o he_o in_o these_o word_n o_o lord_n i_o beseech_v thou_o show_v i_o that_o thou_o have_v lâ—ved_v i_o with_o a_o everlasting_a love_n jer._n 31.3_o i_o have_v no_o soon_o say_v it_o but_o with_o sweetness_n it_o return_v upon_o i_o i_o have_v love_v thou_o with_o a_o everlasting_a lâ—ve_n now_o i_o go_v to_o bed_n at_o quiet_a also_o when_o i_o awake_v the_o next_o morning_n it_o be_v fresh_a upon_o my_o soul_n 146._o but_o yet_o the_o tempter_n leave_v i_o not_o for_o it_o can_v not_o be_v so_o little_a as_o a_o hundâ—ed_o time_n that_o he_o that_o day_n do_v labour_n to_o break_v my_o peace_n o_o the_o combat_n and_o conflict_n that_o i_o do_v then_o meet_v with_o as_o i_o strive_v to_o hold_v by_o this_o word_n that_o of_o esau_n will_v fly_v in_o my_o face_n like_v to_o lightning_n i_o shall_v be_v sometime_o up_o and_o down_o twenty_o time_n in_o a_o hour_n yet_o god_n do_v bear_v i_o up_o and_o keep_v my_o heart_n upon_o this_o word_n from_o which_o i_o have_v also_o for_o several_a day_n together_o very_a much_o sweetness_n and_o comfortable_a hope_n of_o pardon_n for_o thus_o it_o be_v make_v out_o to_o i_o i_o love_v thou_o whilst_o thou_o be_v commit_v this_o sin_n i_o love_v thou_o before_o i_o love_v thou_o still_o and_o i_o will_v love_v thou_o for_o ever_o 147._o yet_o i_o see_v my_o sin_n most_o barbarous_a and_o a_o filthy_a crime_n and_o can_v not_o but_o conclude_v and_o that_o with_o great_a shame_n and_o astonishment_n that_o i_o have_v horrible_o abuse_v the_o holy_a son_n of_o god_n wherefore_o i_o feel_v my_o soul_n great_o to_o love_n and_o pity_v he_o and_o my_o bowel_n to_o yearn_v towards_o he_o for_o i_o see_v he_o be_v still_o my_o friend_n and_o do_v reward_v i_o good_a for_o evil_a yea_o the_o love_n and_o affection_n that_o then_o do_v burn_v within_o to_o my_o lord_n and_o saviour_n jesus_n christ_n do_v work_v at_o this_o time_n such_o strong_a and_o hot_a desire_n of_o revengement_n upon_o myself_o for_o the_o abuse_n i_o have_v do_v unto_o he_o that_o to_o speak_v as_o then_o i_o think_v have_v i_o have_v a_o thousand_o gallon_n of_o blood_n within_o my_o vein_n i_o can_v free_o have_v spill_v it_o all_o at_o the_o command_n and_o foot_n of_o this_o my_o lord_n and_o saviour_n 148._o and_o as_o i_o be_v thus_o in_o muse_v and_o in_o my_o study_n how_o to_o love_v the_o lord_n and_o to_o express_v my_o love_n to_o he_o that_o say_v come_v in_o upon_o i_o if_o thou_o lord_n shall_v mark_v iniquity_n o_o lord_n who_o shall_v stand_v but_o there_o be_v forgiveness_n with_o thou_o that_o thou_o may_v be_v fear_v psal._n 130.4_o these_o be_v good_a word_n to_o i_o especial_o the_o latter_a part_n thereof_o to_o wit_n that_o there_o be_v forgiveness_n with_o the_o lord_n that_o he_o may_v be_v fear_v that_o be_v as_o than_o i_o understand_v it_o that_o he_o may_v be_v love_v and_o have_v in_o reverence_n for_o it_o be_v thus_o make_v out_o to_o i_o that_o the_o great_a god_n do_v setâ—_n foâ—_n high_a a_o esteem_n upon_o the_o love_n of_o his_o poor_a creature_n thâ—â—_n rather_o than_o he_o will_v go_v without_o their_o love_n he_o will_v pardon_v their_o transgression_n 149._o and_o now_o be_v that_o word_n fulfil_v on_o i_o and_o i_o be_v also_o refresh_v by_o it_o then_o shall_v they_o be_v ashamed_a and_o confound_v and_o never_o open_v their_o mouth_n any_o more_o because_o of_o their_o shame_n when_o i_o be_o pacify_v towards_o thou_o for_o all_o that_o thou_o have_v do_v say_v the_o lord_n god_n ezek._n 16.36_o thus_o be_v my_o soul_n at_o this_o time_n and_o as_o i_o then_o do_v think_v for_o ever_o set_v at_o liberty_n from_o be_v again_o afflict_v with_o my_o former_a guilt_n and_o amazement_n 150._o but_o before_o many_o week_n be_v over_o i_o begin_v to_o dispond_v again_o fear_v lest_o notwithstanding_o all_o that_o i_o have_v enjoy_v that_o yet_o i_o may_v be_v deceive_v and_o destroy_v at_o the_o last_o for_o this_o consideration_n come_v strong_a into_o my_o mind_n that_o whatever_o comfort_n and_o peace_n i_o think_v i_o may_v have_v from_o the_o word_n of_o the_o promise_n of_o life_n yet_o unless_o there_o can_v be_v find_v in_o my_o refreshment_n a_o concurrence_n and_o agreement_n in_o the_o scripture_n let_v i_o think_v what_o i_o will_v thereof_o and_o hold_v it_o never_o so_o fast_o i_o shall_v find_v no_o such_o thing_n at_o the_o end_n for_o the_o scripture_n can_v be_v break_v john_n 10.35_o 151._o now_o begin_v my_o heart_n again_o to_o take_v and_o fear_v i_o may_v meet_v with_o disappointment_n at_o the_o last_o wherefore_o i_o begin_v with_o all_o seriousness_n to_o examine_v my_o former_a comfort_n and_o to_o consider_v whether_o one_o that_o have_v sin_v as_o i_o have_v do_v may_v with_o confidence_n trust_v upon_o the_o faithfulness_n of_o god_n lay_v down_o in_o those_o word_n by_o which_o i_o have_v be_v comfort_v and_o on_o which_o i_o have_v lean_v myself_o but_o now_o be_v bring_v those_o say_n to_o my_o mind_n for_o it_o be_v impossible_a for_o those_o who_o be_v once_o enlighten_v and_o have_v taste_v the_o heavenly_a gift_n and_o be_v make_v partaker_n of_o the_o holy_a ghost_n and_o have_v taste_v the_o good_a word_n of_o god_n and_o the_o power_n of_o the_o world_n to_o come_v if_o they_o shall_v fall_v away_o to_o renew_v thâ—m_n again_o unto_o repentance_n heb._n 6._o for_o if_o we_o sin_v wilful_o after_o we_o have_v receive_v the_o knowledge_n of_o the_o truth_n there_o remain_v no_o more_o sacrifice_n for_o sin_n but_o a_o certain_a fearful_a look_v for_o of_o judgement_n and_o fiery_a indignation_n which_o shall_v devour_v the_o adutrsary_n heb._n 10._o even_o as_o esau_n who_o for_o one_o morsel_n of_o meat_n sell_v his_o birthright_n for_o you_o know_v how_o that_o afterward_o when_o he_o will_v have_v inherit_v the_o blessing_n he_o be_v reject_v for_o he_o find_v no_o place_n of_o repentance_n though_o he_o seek_v it_o careful_o with_o tear_n heb._n 12._o 152._o now_o be_v the_o word_n of_o the_o gospel_n force_v from_o my_o soul_n so_o that_o no_o promise_n or_o encouragement_n be_v to_o be_v find_v in_o the_o bible_n for_o i_o and_o now_o will_v that_o say_n work_n upon_o my_o spirit_n to_o afflict_v i_o rejoice_v not_o o_o israel_n for_o joy_n as_o other_o people_n hos._n 9.1_o for_o i_o see_v indeed_o there_o be_v cause_n of_o rejoice_v for_o those_o that_o hold_v to_o jesus_n but_o as_o for_o i_o i_o have_v cut_v myself_o off_o by_o my_o transgression_n and_o leave_v
know_v the_o time_n will_v come_v that_o i_o shall_v be_v afflict_v with_o fear_n that_o there_o be_v no_o place_n leave_v for_o i_o in_o his_o bosom_n do_v before_o speak_v this_o word_n and_o leave_v it_o upon_o record_n that_o i_o may_v find_v help_n thereby_o against_o this_o vile_a temptation_n 57_o in_o the_o light_n and_o encouragement_n of_o this_o word_n i_o go_v a_o pretty_a while_n and_o the_o comfort_n be_v the_o more_o when_o i_o think_v that_o the_o lord_n jesus_n shall_v think_v on_o i_o so_o long_o ago_o and_o that_o he_o shall_v speak_v they_o word_n on_o purpose_n for_o my_o sake_n for_o i_o do_v then_o think_v very_o that_o he_o do_v on_o purpose_n speak_v they_o to_o encourage_v i_o withal_o 58._o after_o this_o i_o find_v by_o read_v the_o word_n that_o those_o that_o must_v be_v glorify_v with_o christ_n in_o another_o world_n must_v be_v call_v by_o he_o here_o call_v to_o the_o partake_n of_o a_o share_n in_o his_o word_n and_o righteousness_n and_o to_o the_o comfort_n &_o first-fruit_n of_o his_o spirit_n and_o to_o a_o peculiar_a interest_n in_o all_o those_o heavenly_a thing_n which_o do_v indeed_o fore-fit_a the_o soul_n for_o that_o rest_n and_o house_n of_o glory_n which_o be_v in_o heaven_n above_o 59_o here_o again_o i_o be_v at_o a_o very_a great_a stand_n not_o know_v what_o to_o do_v fear_v i_o be_v not_o call_v for_o think_v i_o if_o i_o be_v not_o call_v what_o then_o can_v do_v i_o good_a but_o oh_o how_o i_o now_o love_v those_o word_n that_o speak_v of_o a_o christian_n call_v as_o when_o the_o lord_n say_v to_o one_o follow_v i_o and_o to_o another_o come_v after_o i_o and_o oh_o think_v i_o that_o he_o will_v say_v so_o to_o i_o too_o how_o glad_o will_v i_o run_v after_o he_o 60._o i_o can_v now_o express_v with_o what_o long_n and_o break_n in_o my_o soul_n i_o cry_v to_o christ_n to_o call_v i_o thus_o i_o continue_v for_o a_o time_n all_o on_o a_o flame_n to_o be_v convert_v to_o jesus_n christ_n and_o do_v also_o see_v at_o that_o day_n such_o glory_n in_o a_o convert_a state_n that_o i_o can_v not_o be_v content_v without_o a_o share_n therein_o gold_n can_v it_o have_v be_v get_v for_o gold_n what_o can_v i_o have_v give_v for_o it_o have_v i_o have_v a_o whole_a world_n it_o have_v all_o go_v ten_o thousand_o time_n over_o for_o this_o that_o my_o soul_n may_v have_v be_v in_o a_o convert_a state_n 61._o how_o lovely_a now_o be_v every_o one_o in_o my_o eye_n that_o i_o think_v to_o be_v convert_v man_n and_o woman_n they_o shine_v they_o walk_v like_o a_o people_n that_o carry_v the_o broad_a seal_n of_o heaven_n about_o they_o oh_o i_o see_v the_o lot_n be_v fall_v to_o they_o in_o pleasant_a place_n and_o they_o have_v a_o goodly_a heritage_n but_o that_o which_o make_v i_o sick_a be_v that_o of_o christ_n in_o mark_n he_o go_v up_o into_o a_o mountain_n and_o call_v to_o he_o who_o he_o will_v and_o they_o come_v unto_o he_o mark_v 3.13_o 62._o this_o scripture_n make_v i_o saint_n and_o fear_n yet_o it_o kindle_a fire_n in_o my_o soul_n that_o which_o make_v i_o fear_n be_v this_o lest_o christ_n shall_v have_v no_o like_n to_o i_o for_o he_o call_v who_o he_o will_v but_o on_o the_o glory_n that_o i_o see_v in_o that_o condition_n do_v still_o so_o engage_v my_o heart_n that_o i_o can_v seldom_o read_v of_o any_o that_o christ_n do_v call_v but_o i_o present_o wish_v will_v i_o have_v be_v in_o their_o clothes_n will_v i_o have_v be_v bear_v peter_n will_v i_o have_v be_v bear_v john_n or_o will_v i_o have_v be_v by_o and_o have_v hear_v he_o when_o he_o call_v they_o how_o will_v i_o have_v cry_v o_o lord_n call_v i_o also_o but_o oh_o i_o fear_v he_o will_v not_o call_v i_o 63._o and_o true_o the_o lord_n let_v i_o go_v thus_o many_o month_n together_o and_o show_v i_o nothing_o either_o that_o i_o be_v already_o or_o shall_v be_v call_v hereafter_o but_o at_o last_o after_o much_o time_n spend_v and_o many_o groan_n to_o god_n that_o i_o may_v be_v make_v partaker_n of_o the_o holy_a and_o heavenly_a call_n that_o word_n come_v in_o upon_o i_o i_o will_v cleanse_v their_o blood_n that_o i_o have_v not_o cleanse_v for_o the_o lord_n dwell_v in_o zion_n joel_n 3.21_o these_o word_n i_o think_v be_v send_v to_o encourage_v i_o to_o wait_v still_o upon_o god_n and_o signify_v unto_o i_o that_o if_o i_o be_v not_o already_o yet_o time_n may_v come_v i_o may_v be_v in_o truth_n convert_v unto_o christ._n 64._o about_o this_o time_n i_o begin_v to_o break_v my_o mind_n to_o those_o poor_a people_n in_o gedford_n and_o to_o tell_v they_o my_o condition_n which_o when_o they_o have_v hear_v they_o tell_v mr._n gifford_n of_o i_o who_o himself_o also_o take_v occasion_n to_o talk_v with_o i_o and_o be_v willing_a to_o be_v persuade_v of_o i_o though_o i_o think_v but_o from_o little_a ground_n but_o he_o invite_v i_o to_o his_o house_n where_o i_o shall_v hear_v he_o confer_v with_o other_o about_o the_o deal_n of_o god_n with_o the_o soul_n from_o all_o which_o i_o still_o receive_v more_o conviction_n and_o from_o that_o time_n begin_v to_o see_v something_o of_o the_o vanity_n and_o inward_a wretchedness_n of_o my_o wicked_a heart_n for_o as_o yet_o i_o know_v no_o great_a matter_n therein_o but_o now_o it_o begin_v to_o be_v discover_v unto_o i_o and_o also_o to_o work_v at_o that_o rate_n for_o wickedness_n as_o it_o never_o do_v before_o now_o i_o evident_o find_v that_o lust_n and_o corruption_n will_v strong_o put_v forth_o themselves_o within_o i_o in_o wicked_a thought_n and_o desire_n which_o i_o do_v not_o regard_v before_o my_o desire_n also_o for_o heaven_n and_o life_n begin_v to_o fail_v i_o find_v also_o that_o whereas_o before_o my_o soul_n be_v full_a of_o longâ—ngs_n after_o god_n now_o my_o heart_n begin_v to_o hanker_v after_o every_o foolish_a vanity_n yea_o my_o heart_n will_v not_o be_v move_v to_o mind_n that_o that_o be_v good_a it_o begin_v to_o be_v careless_a both_o of_o my_o soul_n and_o heaven_n it_o will_v now_o continual_o hang_v back_o both_o to_o and_o in_o every_o duty_n and_o be_v as_o a_o clog_n on_o the_o leg_n of_o a_o bird_n to_o hinder_v she_o from_o fly_v 65._o nay_o think_v i_o now_o i_o grow_v worse_o and_o worse_o now_o be_o i_o further_o from_o conversion_n then_o ever_o i_o be_v before_o wherefore_o i_o begin_v to_o sink_v great_o in_o my_o soul_n and_o begin_v to_o entertain_v such_o discouragement_n in_o my_o heart_n as_o lay_v i_o as_o low_a as_o hell_n if_o now_o i_o shall_v have_v burn_v at_o a_o stake_n i_o can_v not_o believe_v that_o christ_n have_v love_n for_o i_o alas_o i_o can_v neither_o hear_v he_o nor_o see_v he_o nor_o feel_v he_o nor_o savour_v any_o of_o his_o thing_n i_o be_v drive_v as_o with_o a_o tempest_n my_o heart_n will_v be_v unclean_a the_o canaanite_n will_v dwell_v in_o the_o land_n 66._o sometime_o i_o will_v tell_v my_o condition_n to_o the_o people_n of_o god_n which_o when_o they_o hear_v they_o will_v pity_v i_o and_o will_v tell_v i_o of_o the_o promise_n but_o they_o have_v as_o good_a have_v tell_v i_o that_o i_o must_v reach_v the_o sun_n with_o my_o finger_n as_o have_v bid_v i_o receive_v or_o rely_v upon_o the_o promise_n and_o as_o soon_o i_o shall_v have_v do_v it_o all_o my_o sense_n and_o feeling_n be_v against_o i_o and_o i_o see_v i_o have_v a_o heart_n that_o will_v sin_n and_o lay_v under_o a_o law_n that_o will_v condemn_v 67._o these_o thing_n have_v often_o make_v i_o think_v of_o that_o child_n which_o the_o father_n bring_v to_o christ_n who_o while_o he_o be_v yet_o a_o come_n to_o he_o be_v throw_v down_o by_o the_o devil_n and_o also_o so_o rend_v and_o tear_v by_o he_o that_o he_o lay_v and_o wallow_v foam_v luke_n 9.42_o maâ—â—_n 9.20_o 68_o further_o in_o these_o day_n i_o shall_v find_v mâ—_n heart_n to_o shut_v itself_o up_o against_o the_o lord_n and_o against_o his_o holy_a word_n i_o have_v find_v my_o unbelief_n to_o set_v as_o iâ—_n be_v the_o shoulder_n to_o the_o door_n to_o keep_v he_o out_o and_o that_o too_o even_o then_o when_o i_o have_v with_o many_o 〈◊〉_d bitter_a sigh_n cry_v good_a lord_n break_v it_o open_a lord_n break_v these_o gate_n of_o brass_n and_o cut_v these_o bar_n of_o iron_n asunder_o yet_o that_o word_n will_v sometime_o create_v in_o my_o heart_n a_o peaceable_a pause_n i_o gird_v thou_o though_o thou_o have_v not_o know_v i_o 69._o but_o all_o this_o while_n as_o to_o the_o act_n of_o sin_v i_o never_o be_v more_o tender_a
but_o oh_o now_o how_o be_v my_o soul_n lead_v from_o truth_n to_o truth_n by_o god_n even_o from_o the_o birth_n and_o cradle_n of_o the_o son_n of_o god_n to_o his_o ascension_n and_o second_o come_v from_o heaven_n to_o judge_v the_o world_n 99_o true_o i_o then_o find_v upon_o this_o account_n the_o great_a god_n be_v very_o good_a unto_o i_o for_o to_o my_o remembrance_n there_o be_v not_o any_o thing_n that_o then_o i_o cry_v to_o god_n to_o make_v know_v and_o reveal_v unto_o i_o but_o he_o be_v please_v to_o do_v it_o for_o i_o i_o mean_v not_o one_o part_n of_o the_o gospel_n of_o the_o lord_n jesus_n but_o i_o be_v orderly_o lead_v into_o it_o i_o think_v i_o see_v with_o great_a evidence_n from_o the_o relation_n of_o the_o four_o evangelist_n the_o wonderful_a work_n of_o god_n in_o give_v jesus_n christ_n to_o save_v we_o from_o his_o conception_n and_o birth_n even_o to_o his_o second_o come_v to_o judgement_n i_o think_v i_o be_v as_o if_o i_o have_v see_v he_o bear_v as_o if_o i_o have_v see_v he_o grow_v up_o as_o if_o i_o have_v see_v he_o walk_v through_o this_o world_n from_o the_o cradle_n to_o his_o cross_n to_o which_o also_o when_o he_o come_v i_o see_v how_o gentle_o he_o give_v himself_o to_o be_v hang_v and_o nail_v on_o it_o for_o my_o sin_n and_o wicked_a do_n also_o as_o i_o be_v muse_v on_o this_o his_o progress_n that_o drope_v on_o my_o spirit_n he_o be_v ordain_v for_o the_o slaughter_n 1_o pet._n 1.19_o 20._o 100_o when_o i_o have_v consider_v also_o the_o truth_n of_o his_o resurrection_n and_o have_v remember_v that_o word_n touch_v i_o not_o mary_n etc._n etc._n i_o have_v see_v as_o if_o he_o leap_v at_o the_o grave_n mouth_n for_o joy_n that_o he_o be_v rise_v again_o and_o have_v get_v the_o conquest_n over_o our_o dreadful_a foe_n john_n 20.17_o i_o have_v also_o in_o the_o spirit_n see_v he_o a_o man_n on_o the_o right_a hand_n of_o god_n the_o father_n for_o i_o and_o have_v see_v the_o manner_n of_o his_o come_n from_o heaven_n to_o judge_v the_o world_n with_o glory_n and_o have_v be_v confirm_v in_o these_o thing_n by_o these_o scripture_n follow_v act_v 1.9_o 10._o acts._n 7._o 56._o actâ—_n 10.42_o heb._n 7.24_o heb._n 8.38_o rev._n 1.18_o 1_o thes._n 4.17_o 18._o once_o i_o be_v much_o trouble_v to_o know_v whether_o the_o lord_n jesus_n be_v both_o man_n as_o well_o as_o god_n and_o god_n as_o well_o as_o man_n and_o true_o in_o those_o day_n let_v man_n say_v what_o they_o will_v unless_o i_o have_v it_o with_o evidence_n from_o heaven_n all_o be_v as_o nothing_o to_o i_o i_o count_v not_o myself_o set_v down_o in_o any_o truth_n of_o god_n well_o i_o be_v much_o trouble_v about_o this_o point_n and_o can_v not_o tell_v how_o to_o be_v resolve_v at_o last_o that_o in_o the_o five_o of_o the_o revelation_n come_v into_o my_o mind_n and_o i_o behold_v and_o lo_o in_o the_o midst_n of_o the_o throne_n and_o of_o the_o four_o beast_n and_o in_o the_o midst_n of_o the_o elder_n stand_v a_o lamb_n in_o the_o midst_n of_o the_o throne_n there_o be_v his_o godhead_n in_o the_o midst_n of_o the_o elder_n there_o be_v his_o man_n hood_n but_o o_o i_o think_v this_o do_v glister_n it_o be_v a_o goodly_a touch_n and_o give_v i_o sweet_a satisfaction_n that_o other_o scripture_n also_o do_v help_v i_o much_o in_o this_o to_o we_o a_o child_n be_v bear_v to_o we_o a_o son_n be_v give_v and_o the_o government_n shall_v be_v upon_o his_o shoulder_n and_o his_o name_n shall_v be_v call_v wonderful_a counsellor_n the_o mighty_a god_n the_o everlasting_a father_n the_o prince_n of_o peace_n etc._n etc._n isa._n 9.6_o 101._o also_o beside_o these_o teach_n of_o god_n in_o his_o word_n the_o lord_n make_v use_v of_o two_o thing_n to_o confirm_v i_o in_o these_o thing_n the_o one_o be_v the_o error_n of_o the_o quaker_n and_o the_o other_o be_v the_o guilt_n of_o sin_n for_o as_o the_o quaker_n do_v oppose_v his_o truth_n so_o god_n do_v the_o more_o confirm_v i_o in_o it_o by_o lead_v i_o into_o the_o scripture_n that_o do_v wonderful_o maintain_v it_o and_o as_o i_o say_v the_o guilt_n of_o sin_n do_v help_v i_o much_o for_o still_o as_o that_o will_v come_v upon_o i_o the_o blood_n of_o christ_n do_v take_v it_o off_o again_o and_o again_o and_o again_o and_o that_o too_o sweet_o according_a to_o the_o scripture_n o_o friend_n cry_v to_o god_n to_o reveal_v jesus_n christ_n unto_o you_o there_o be_v none_o teach_v like_o he_o 102._o it_o will_v be_v too_o long_o for_o i_o here_o to_o stay_v to_o tell_v you_o in_o particular_a how_o god_n do_v set_v i_o down_o in_o all_o the_o thing_n of_o christ_n and_o how_o he_o do_v that_o he_o may_v so_o do_v lead_v i_o into_o his_o word_n yea_o and_o also_o how_o he_o do_v open_v they_o unto_o i_o make_v they_o shine_v before_o i_o and_o cause_v they_o to_o dwell_v with_o i_o talk_v with_o i_o and_o comfort_v i_o over_o and_o over_o both_o of_o his_o own_o be_v and_o the_o be_v of_o his_o son_n and_o spirit_n and_o word_n and_o gospel_n 103._o only_o this_o as_o i_o say_v before_o i_o will_v say_v unto_o you_o again_o that_o in_o general_n he_o be_v please_v to_o take_v this_o course_n with_o i_o first_o to_o suffer_v i_o to_o be_v afflict_v with_o temptation_n concern_v they_o and_o then_o reveal_v they_o to_o i_o as_o sometime_o i_o shall_v lie_v under_o great_a guilt_n for_o sin_n even_o crush_v to_o the_o ground_n therewith_o and_o then_o the_o lord_n will_v show_v i_o the_o death_n of_o christ_n yea_o and_o so_o sprinkle_v my_o conscience_n with_o his_o blood_n that_o i_o shall_v find_v and_o that_o before_o i_o be_v aware_a that_o in_o that_o conscience_n where_o but_o just_a now_o do_v reign_n and_o â—age_n the_o law_n even_o there_o will_v rest_v and_o abide_v the_o peace_n and_o love_n of_o god_n through_o christ._n 104._o now_o have_v i_o a_o evidence_n for_o heaven_n with_o many_o golden_a seal_n thereon_o all_o hang_n in_o my_o sight_n now_o can_v i_o remember_v this_o manifestation_n and_o the_o other_o discovery_n of_o grace_n with_o comfort_n and_o shall_v often_o long_o and_o desire_v that_o the_o last_o day_n be_v come_v that_o i_o may_v for_o ever_o be_v inflame_v with_o the_o sight_n and_o joy_n and_o communion_n of_o he_o who_o head_n be_v crown_v with_o thorn_n who_o face_n be_v spit_v on_o and_o body_n break_v and_o soul_n make_v a_o offering_n for_o my_o sin_n for_o whereas_o before_o â—_o lie_v continual_o tremble_v at_o the_o mouth_n of_o hell_n now_o i_o think_v i_o be_v get_v so_o far_o therefrom_o thaâ—_n i_o can_v not_o when_o i_o look_v back_o scarce_o discern_v it_o 〈◊〉_d and_o o_o think_v i_o that_o i_o be_v fourscore_o year_n old_a now_o that_o i_o may_v die_v quick_o that_o my_o soul_n may_v be_v go_v to_o rest_v 105._o but_o after_o the_o lord_n have_v in_o this_o manner_n 〈◊〉_d gracious_o deliver_v i_o from_o this_o great_a and_o sorâ—_n temptation_n and_o have_v set_v i_o down_o so_o sweet_o in_o the_o faith_n of_o his_o holy_a gospel_n and_o have_v give_v i_o such_o strong_a consolation_n and_o bless_a evidence_n from_o heaven_n touch_v my_o interest_n in_o his_o love_n through_o christ_n the_o tempter_n come_v upon_o i_o again_o and_o that_o with_o a_o more_o grievous_a and_o dreadful_a temptation_n then_o before_o 106._o and_o that_o be_v to_o sell_v and_o part_n with_o this_o most_o bless_a christ_n to_o exchange_v he_o for_o the_o thing_n of_o this_o life_n for_o any_o thing_n the_o temptation_n lie_v upon_o i_o for_o the_o space_n of_o a_o year_n and_o do_v follow_v i_o so_o continual_o that_o i_o be_v not_o rid_v of_o it_o one_o day_n iâ—_n a_o month_n no_o not_o sometime_o one_o hour_n in_o many_o day_n together_o unless_o i_o be_v asleep_a 107._o and_o though_o in_o my_o judgement_n i_o be_v persuade_v that_o those_o who_o be_v once_o effectual_o in_o christ_n as_o i_o hope_v through_o his_o grace_n i_o have_v see_v myself_o can_v never_o lose_v he_o for_o ever_o for_o the_o land_n shall_v not_o be_v sell_v for_o ever_o for_o the_o land_n be_v i_o say_v god_n levit._n 25.23_o yet_o it_o be_v a_o continual_a vexation_n to_o i_o to_o think_v that_o i_o shall_v have_v so_o much_o as_o one_o such_o thought_n within_o i_o against_o a_o christ_n a_o jesus_n that_o have_v do_v for_o i_o as_o he_o have_v do_v 108._o but_o it_o be_v neither_o my_o dislike_n of_o the_o thought_n nor_o yet_o any_o desire_n and_o endeavour_v to_o resist_v it_o that_o in_o the_o least_o do_v shake_v or_o abate_v the_o continuation_n or_o force_n and_o strength_n
this_o sentence_n fall_v upon_o my_o soul_n thy_o righteousness_n be_v in_o heaven_n and_o methinks_v withal_o i_o see_v with_o the_o eye_n of_o my_o soul_n jesus_n christ_n at_o god_n right_a hand_n there_o i_o say_v as_o my_o righteousness_n so_o that_o wherever_o i_o be_v or_o whatever_o i_o be_v a_o do_v god_n can_v not_o say_v of_o i_o he_o want_v my_o righteousness_n for_o that_o be_v just_a before_o he_o i_o also_o see_v moreover_o that_o it_o be_v not_o my_o good_a frame_n of_o heart_n that_o make_v my_o righteousness_n better_o nor_o yet_o my_o bad_a frame_n that_o make_v my_o righteousness_n worse_o for_o my_o righteousness_n be_v jesus_n christ_n himself_o the_o same_o yesterday_o to_o day_n and_o for_o ever_o heb._n 13.8_o 184._o now_o do_v my_o chain_n fall_v off_o my_o leg_n indeed_o i_o be_v loose_v from_o my_o affliction_n and_o iron_n my_o temptation_n also_o flee_v away_o so_o that_o from_o that_o time_n those_o dreadful_a scripture_n of_o god_n leave_v off_o to_o trouble_v i_o now_o go_v i_o also_o home_n rejoice_v for_o the_o grace_n and_o love_n of_o god_n so_o when_o i_o care_v home_o i_o look_v to_o see_v if_o i_o can_v find_v that_o sentence_n thy_o righteousness_n be_v in_o heaven_n but_o can_v not_o find_v such_o a_o say_v wherefore_o my_o heart_n begin_v to_o sink_v again_o only_o that_o be_v bring_v to_o my_o remembrance_n he_o be_v make_v unto_o we_o of_o god_n wisdom_n righteousness_n sanctification_n and_o redemption_n by_o this_o word_n i_o see_v the_o other_o sentence_n true_a 185._o for_o by_o this_o scripture_n i_o see_v that_o the_o man_n christ_n jesus_n as_o he_o be_v distinct_a from_o we_o as_o touch_v his_o bodily_a presence_n so_o he_o be_v our_o righteousness_n and_o sanctification_n before_o god_n here_o therefore_o i_o live_v for_o some_o time_n very_o sweet_o at_o peace_n with_o god_n through_o christ_n o_o methinks_v christ_n christ_n there_o be_v nothing_o but_o christ_n that_o be_v before_o my_o eye_n i_o be_v not_o now_o only_o for_o look_v upon_o this_o and_o the_o other_o benefit_n of_o christ_n apart_o as_o of_o his_o blood_n burial_n or_o resurrection_n but_o consider_v he_o as_o whole_a christ_n as_o he_o in_o who_o all_o these_o and_o all_o his_o other_o virtue_n relation_n office_n and_o operation_n meet_v together_o and_o that_o on_o the_o right_a hand_n of_o god_n in_o heaven_n 186._o it_o be_v glorious_a to_o i_o to_o see_v his_o exaltation_n and_o the_o worth_n and_o prevalencie_n of_o all_o his_o benefit_n and_o that_o because_o of_o this_o now_o i_o can_v look_v from_o myself_o to_o he_o and_o shall_v reckon_v that_o all_o those_o grace_n of_o god_n that_o now_o be_v green_a in_o i_o be_v yet_o but_o like_o those_o crack'd-groat_n and_o four-pence-half-penny_n that_o rich_a man_n carry_v in_o their_o purse_n when_o their_o gold_n be_v in_o their_o trunk_n at_o home_n o_o i_o see_v my_o gold_n be_v in_o my_o trunk_n at_o home_n in_o christ_n my_o lord_n and_o saviour_n now_o christ_n be_v all_o all_o my_o wisdom_n all_o my_o righteousness_n all_o my_o sanctification_n and_o all_o my_o redemption_n 187._o further_o the_o lord_n do_v also_o lead_v i_o into_o the_o mystery_n of_o union_n with_o this_o son_n of_o god_n that_o i_o be_v join_v to_o he_o that_o i_o be_v flesh_n of_o his_o flesh_n and_o bone_n of_o his_o bone_n and_o now_o be_v that_o a_o sweet_a word_n to_o i_o in_o ephes._n 5.3_o by_o this_o also_o be_v my_o faith_n in_o he_o as_o my_o righteousness_n the_o more_o confirm_v to_o i_o for_o if_o he_o and_o i_o be_v one_o than_o his_o righteousness_n be_v i_o his_o merit_n my_o his_o victory_n also_o i_o now_o can_v i_o see_v myself_o in_o heaven_n and_o earth_n at_o once_o in_o heaven_n by_o my_o christ_n by_o my_o head_n by_o my_o righteousness_n and_o life_n though_o on_o earth_n by_o my_o body_n or_o person_n 188._o now_o i_o see_v christ_n jesus_n be_v look_v on_o of_o god_n and_o shall_v also_o be_v look_v upon_o by_o we_o as_o that_o common_a or_o public_a person_n in_o who_o all_o tâ—e_v whole_a body_n of_o his_o elect_n be_v always_o to_o be_v consider_v and_o reckon_v that_o we_o fulfil_v the_o law_n by_o he_o die_v by_o he_o rose_z from_o the_o dead_a by_o he_o get_v the_o victory_n over_o sin_n death_n the_o devil_n and_o hell_n by_o he_o when_o he_o die_v we_o die_v and_o so_o of_o his_o resurrection_n thy_o dead_a man_n shall_v live_v together_o with_o my_o dead_a body_n shall_v they_o arise_v say_v he_o isa._n 26._o and_o again_o after_o two_o day_n he_o will_v revive_v we_o and_o the_o three_o day_n we_o shall_v live_v in_o his_o sight_n hos._n 6.2_o which_o be_v now_o fulfil_v by_o the_o sit_v down_o of_o the_o son_n of_o man_n on_o the_o right_a hand_n of_o the_o majesty_n in_o the_o heaven_n according_a to_o that_o to_o the_o ephesian_n he_o have_v raise_v we_o up_o together_o and_o make_v we_o sit_v together_o in_o heavenly_a place_n in_o christ_n jesus_n ephes._n 2.6_o 189._o ah_o these_o bless_a consideration_n and_o scripture_n with_o many_o other_o of_o a_o like_a nature_n be_v in_o those_o day_n make_v to_o spangle_v in_o my_o eye_n praise_v you_o the_o lord_n god_n in_o his_o sanctuary_n praise_v he_o in_o the_o firmament_n of_o his_o power_n praise_v he_o for_o his_o mighty_a act_n praise_v he_o according_a to_o his_o excellent_a greatness_n psal._n 150.1_o 2._o 190._o have_v thus_o in_o few_o word_n giâ—en_v you_o a_o taste_n of_o the_o sorrow_n and_o affliction_n that_o my_o soul_n go_v under_o by_o the_o guilt_n and_o terror_n that_o this_o my_o wicked_a thought_n do_v lay_v i_o under_o and_o have_v give_v you_o also_o a_o touch_n of_o my_o deliverance_n therefrom_o and_o of_o the_o sweet_a and_o bless_a comfort_n that_o i_o meet_v with_o afterward_o which_o comfort_n dwell_v about_o a_o twelvemonth_n with_o my_o heart_n to_o my_o unspeakable_a admiraration_n i_o will_v now_o god_n will_v before_o i_o proceed_v any_o further_a give_v yoâ—_n in_o a_o word_n or_o two_o what_o as_o i_o conceive_v be_v the_o cause_n of_o this_o temptation_n and_o also_o after_o thaâ—_n what_o advantage_n at_o tâ—e_v last_v it_o become_v unto_o my_o soul_n 191._o for_o the_o cause_n i_o conceive_v they_o be_v principal_o two_o of_o which_o two_o also_o i_o be_v deep_o convince_v all_o the_o time_n this_o trouble_n lie_v upon_o i_o the_o first_o be_v foâ—_n that_o i_o do_v not_o when_o i_o be_v deliver_v from_o the_o temptation_n that_o go_v before_o still_o pray_v to_o god_n to_o keep_v i_o from_o temptation_n that_o be_v to_o come_v for_o though_o as_o i_o can_v say_v in_o truth_n my_o soul_n be_v much_o in_o prayer_n before_o this_o trial_n seize_v i_o yet_o than_o i_o pray_v only_o or_o at_o the_o most_o principal_o for_o the_o removal_n of_o present_a trouble_n and_o for_o fâ—esh_a discovery_n of_o love_n in_o christ_n which_o i_o see_v afterwards_o be_v not_o enough_o to_o do_v i_o also_o shall_v have_v pray_v that_o the_o great_a god_n will_v keep_v i_o from_o the_o evil_a that_o be_v to_o come_v 192._o of_o thâ—s_n i_o be_v make_v deep_o sensible_a by_o the_o prayer_n of_o holy_a david_n who_o when_o he_o be_v under_o present_a mercy_n yet_o pray_v that_o god_n will_v hold_v he_o back_o from_o sin_n and_o temptation_n to_o come_v for_o then_o say_v he_o shall_v i_o be_v upright_o and_o i_o shall_v be_v innocent_a from_o the_o great_a transgression_n psal._n 19.13_o by_o this_o very_a word_n be_v i_o gauâ—ed_v and_o condemn_v quite_o through_o this_o long_a temptation_n 193._o that_o also_o be_v another_o word_n that_o do_v much_o condemn_v i_o for_o my_o folly_n in_o the_o neglect_n of_o this_o duty_n heb._n 4.16_o let_v we_o therefore_o come_v bold_o to_o the_o throne_n of_o grace_n that_o we_o may_v obtain_v mercy_n and_o find_v grace_n to_o help_v in_o time_n of_o need_n this_o i_o have_v not_o do_v and_o therefore_o be_v suffer_v thus_o to_o sin_n and_o fall_v according_a to_o what_o be_v write_v pray_v that_o you_o enter_v not_o into_o temptation_n and_o tru_o this_o veâ—y_a thing_n be_v to_o this_o day_n of_o such_o weight_n and_o awe_n upon_o i_o that_o i_o dare_v not_o when_o i_o come_v before_o the_o loâ—d_n go_v off_o my_o knee_n until_o i_o entreat_v he_o for_o help_n and_o mercy_n against_o the_o â—_z that_o be_v to_o come_v and_o i_o do_v beseech_v thou_o reader_n that_o thou_o learn_v to_o beware_v of_o my_o negligence_n by_o the_o affliction_n that_o for_o this_o thing_n i_o do_v for_o day_n and_o month_n and_o year_n with_o sorrow_n undergo_v 194._o another_o cause_n of_o this_o temptation_n be_v that_o i_o have_v tempt_v god_n and_o on_o this_o manner_n do_v i_o do_v it_o upon_o a_o
the_o king_n contrary_a to_o the_o law_n esth._n 4.16_o i_o think_v also_o of_o benhadad_n servant_n who_o go_v with_o rope_n upon_o their_o head_n to_o their_o enemy_n for_o mercy_n 1_o kin._n 20.31_o etc._n etc._n the_o woman_n of_o canaan_n also_o that_o will_v not_o be_v daunt_v though_o call_v dog_n by_o christ_n mat._n 15.22_o etc._n etc._n and_o the_o man_n that_o go_v to_o borrow_v bread_n at_o midnight_n luk._n 11.5_o 6_o 7_o 8_o etc._n etc._n be_v great_a encouragement_n unto_o i_o 206._o i_o never_o see_v those_o height_n and_o depth_n in_o grace_n and_o love_n and_o mercy_n as_o i_o see_v after_o this_o temptation_n great_a sin_n do_v draw_v out_o great_a grace_n and_o where_o guilt_n be_v most_o terrible_a and_o fierce_a there_o the_o mercy_n of_o god_n in_o christ_n when_o show_v to_o the_o soul_n appear_v most_o high_a and_o mighty_a when_o job_n have_v pass_v through_o his_o captivity_n he_o have_v twice_o as_o much_o as_o he_o have_v before_o job_n 42.10_o bless_a be_v god_n for_o jesus_n christ_n our_o lord_n many_o other_o thing_n i_o may_v here_o make_v observation_n of_o but_o i_o will_v be_v brief_a and_o therefore_o shall_v at_o this_o time_n omit_v they_o and_o do_v pray_v god_n that_o my_o harm_n may_v make_v other_o fear_v to_o offend_v lest_o they_o also_o be_v make_v to_o bear_v the_o iron_n yoke_v as_o i_o 207._o now_o i_o shall_v go_v forward_o to_o give_v you_o a_o relation_n of_o other_o of_o the_o lord_n deal_n with_o i_o of_o his_o deal_n with_o i_o at_o sundâ—y_a other_o season_n and_o of_o the_o temptation_n i_o then_o do_v meet_v withal_o i_o shall_v begin_v with_o what_o i_o meet_v with_o when_o i_o first_o do_v join_v in_o fellowship_n with_o the_o people_n of_o god_n in_o bedford_n after_o i_o have_v propound_v to_o the_o church_n that_o my_o desire_n be_v to_o walk_v in_o the_o order_n and_o ordinance_n of_o christ_n with_o they_o and_o be_v also_o admit_v by_o they_o while_o i_o think_v of_o that_o bless_a ordinance_n of_o christ_n which_o be_v his_o last_o supper_n with_o his_o disciple_n before_o his_o death_n that_o scripture_n do_v this_o in_o remembrance_n of_o i_o luk._n 22.19_o be_v make_v a_o very_a precious_a word_n unto_o i_o for_o by_o it_o the_o lord_n do_v come_v down_o upon_o my_o conscience_n with_o the_o discovery_n of_o his_o death_n for_o my_o sin_n and_o as_o i_o then_o feel_v do_v as_o if_o he_o plunge_v i_o in_o the_o virtue_n of_o the_o same_o but_o behold_v i_o have_v not_o be_v long_o a_o partaker_n at_o that_o ordinance_n but_o such_o fierce_a and_o sad_a temptation_n do_v attend_v i_o at_o all_o time_n therein_o both_o to_o blaspheme_v the_o ordinance_n and_o to_o wish_v some_o deadly_a thing_n to_o those_o that_o then_o do_v eat_v thereof_o that_o lest_o i_o shall_v at_o any_o time_n be_v guilty_a of_o consent_v to_o these_o wicked_a and_o fearful_a thought_n i_o be_v force_v to_o bend_v myself_o all_o the_o while_n to_o pray_v to_o god_n to_o keep_v i_o from_o such_o blasphemy_n and_o also_o to_o cry_v to_o god_n to_o bless_v the_o bread_n and_o cup_n to_o they_o as_o it_o go_v from_o mouth_n to_o mouth_n the_o reason_n of_o this_o temptation_n i_o have_v think_v since_o be_v because_o i_o do_v not_o with_o that_o reverence_n at_o first_o approach_n to_o partake_v thereof_o 208._o thus_o i_o continue_v for_o three_o quarter_n of_o a_o year_n and_o can_v never_o have_v rest_n nor_o ease_n but_o at_o last_o the_o lord_n come_v in_o upon_o my_o soul_n with_o that_o same_o scripture_n by_o which_o my_o soul_n be_v visit_v before_o and_o after_o that_o i_o have_v be_v usual_o very_o well_o and_o comfortable_a in_o the_o partake_n of_o that_o bless_a ordinance_n and_o have_v i_o trust_v therein_o discern_v the_o lord_n body_n as_o break_v for_o my_o sin_n and_o that_o his_o precious_a blood_n have_v be_v shed_v for_o my_o transgression_n 209._o upon_o a_o time_n i_o be_v somewhat_o incline_v to_o a_o consumption_n wherefore_o about_o the_o spring_n i_o be_v sudden_o and_o violent_o seize_v with_o much_o weakness_n in_o my_o outward_a man_n insomuch_o that_o i_o think_v i_o can_v not_o live_v now_o begin_v i_o afresh_o to_o give_v myself_o up_o to_o a_o serious_a examination_n after_o my_o state_n and_o condition_n for_o the_o future_a and_o of_o my_o evidence_n for_o that_o bless_a world_n to_o come_v for_o it_o have_v i_o bless_v the_o name_n of_o god_n be_v my_o usual_a course_n as_o always_o so_o especial_o in_o the_o day_n of_o affliction_n to_o endeavour_v to_o keep_v my_o interest_n in_o life_n to_o come_v clear_a before_o my_o eye_n 210._o but_o i_o have_v no_o soon_o begin_v to_o recall_v to_o mind_v my_o former_a experience_n of_o the_o goodness_n of_o god_n to_o my_o soul_n but_o there_o come_v flock_v into_o my_o mind_n a_o innumerable_a company_n of_o my_o sin_n and_o transgression_n among_o which_o these_o be_v at_o this_o time_n most_o to_o my_o affliction_n namely_o my_o deadness_n dulness_n and_o coldness_n in_o holy_a duty_n my_o wander_n of_o heart_n my_o wearisomeness_n in_o all_o good_a thing_n my_o want_n of_o love_n to_o god_n his_o way_n and_o people_n with_o this_o at_o the_o end_n of_o all_o be_v these_o the_o fruit_n of_o christianity_n be_v these_o the_o token_n of_o a_o bless_a man_n 211._o at_o the_o apprehension_n of_o these_o thing_n my_o sickness_n be_v double_v upon_o i_o for_o now_o be_v i_o sick_a in_o my_o inward_a man_n my_o soul_n be_v clog_v with_o guilt_n now_o also_o be_v all_o my_o former_a experience_n of_o god_n goodness_n to_o i_o quite_o take_v out_o of_o my_o mind_n and_o hide_v as_o if_o it_o have_v never_o be_v nor_o see_v now_o be_v my_o soul_n great_o pinch_v between_o these_o two_o consideration_n live_v i_o must_v not_o die_v i_o dare_v not_o now_o i_o sink_v and_o fall_v in_o my_o spirit_n and_o be_v give_v up_o all_o for_o lose_v but_o as_o i_o be_v walk_v up_o and_o down_o in_o the_o house_n as_o a_o man_n in_o a_o most_o woeful_a state_n that_o word_n of_o god_n take_v hold_v of_o my_o heart_n you_o be_v justify_v free_o by_o his_o grace_n through_o the_o redemption_n that_o be_v in_o christ_n jesus_n rom._n 3.24_o 212._o now_o be_v i_o as_o one_o awaken_v out_o of_o some_o troublesome_a sleep_n and_o dream_n and_o listen_v to_o this_o heavenly_a sentence_n i_o be_v as_o if_o i_o hear_v it_o thus_o expound_v to_o i_o sinner_n thou_o think_v that_o because_o of_o thy_o sin_n and_o infirmity_n i_o can_v save_v thy_o soul_n but_o behold_v my_o son_n be_v by_o i_o and_o upon_o he_o i_o look_v and_o not_o on_o tâ—ree_n and_o will_v deal_v with_o thou_o according_a as_o i_o be_o please_v with_o he_o at_o this_o i_o be_v great_o lighten_v in_o my_o mind_n and_o make_v to_o understand_v that_o god_n can_v justify_v a_o sinner_n at_o any_o time_n it_o be_v but_o look_v upon_o christ_n and_o impute_v of_o his_o benefit_n to_o we_o and_o the_o work_n be_v forthwith_o do_v 213._o and_o as_o i_o be_v thus_o in_o a_o muse_n that_o scripture_n come_v with_o great_a power_n upon_o my_o spirit_n not_o by_o work_n of_o righteousness_n that_o we_o have_v do_v but_o according_a to_o his_o mercy_n he_o save_v we_o etc._n etc._n 2_o tim._n 1_o 9_o tit._n 3.5_o now_o be_v i_o get_v on_o high_a i_o see_v myself_o within_o the_o arm_n of_o grace_n and_o mercy_n and_o though_o i_o be_v before_o afraid_a to_o think_v of_o a_o die_a hour_n yet_o now_o i_o cry_v let_v i_o die_v now_o death_n be_v lovely_a and_o beautiful_a in_o my_o sight_n for_o i_o see_v we_o shall_v never_o live_v indeed_o till_o we_o be_v go_v to_o the_o other_o world_n o_o methinks_v this_o life_n be_v but_o a_o slumber_n in_o comparison_n of_o that_o above_o at_o this_o time_n also_o i_o see_v more_o in_o those_o word_n heir_n of_o god_n rom._n 8.17_o then_o ever_o i_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o express_v while_o i_o live_v in_o this_o world_n heir_n of_o god_n god_n himself_o be_v the_o portion_n of_o the_o saint_n this_o i_o see_v and_o wonder_v at_o but_o can_v tell_v you_o what_o i_o see_v 214._o at_o another_o time_n though_o just_a before_o i_o be_v pretty_a well_o and_o savoury_a in_o my_o spirit_n yet_o sudden_o there_o fall_v upon_o i_o a_o great_a cloud_n of_o darkness_n which_o do_v so_o hide_v from_o i_o the_o thing_n of_o god_n and_o christ_n that_o i_o be_v as_o if_o i_o have_v never_o see_v or_o know_v they_o in_o my_o life_n i_o be_v also_o so_o overrun_v in_o my_o soul_n with_o a_o senseless_a heartless_a frame_n of_o spirit_n that_o i_o can_v not_o feel_v my_o soul_n to_o move_v or_o stir_v after_o grace_n and_o life_n