Woossat Enters into her Charriot Bru. Inhumane Woossat do not run And let thy Son be quite undone I thee conjure don't leave her thus By thy beloved Incubus Thy publick Drabs and private dores Thy little Bottles and great scores Thy much Impudence and no shame By all thy sports and by that same Oh stay the Cart stay the Cart stay the Cart. He lays hold and is drawn up till he pulls down the Charriot Iustice Crab is driven in in a Wheel-barrow Bru. O ho here 's Justice Crab now by this light He 'l do me right Dear Soul I beg you 'l check the Hag And read her a Lecture for abusing her Hector Crab. Matron of love be kind to bauling Imp And let him have his am'rous shrimp If Hector be disgruntl'd Trade is broken He 'l make thy mischiefs known by tale and token Redstreak and the King you made dye And caused the Princess sad Tragedy Both Sisters ruin'd by your Plot If Nonsy too should go to Pot. He 'd blaze all this about the Town And make thy very house pull'd down Wooss. Shall he have mortal only to his use When Pomp and State ne'r so much bigger Can 't keep frail Missy to one trigger No 't is to credit Trade and House abuse Besides she 'l eat Bread out of mouth I will not suffer 't 'faith and troth Crab. Nonsey's business shall be done She 's mortal therefore may be wone No Missy was ever true to one Wooss. Then Nonsy rise rise my sweet punck She seemed dead yet was but drunk Rise from thy Chair as soft as Couch And turn to Arms of loving Slouch None-so-fair Wakes Non. Wha wha what 's the matter who 's there Not guilty Not guilty my Lord Tagrâ—g Hâ—igh ho I wish you were all hang'd for waking me Gods have I my pretty thing again Bru. Thou hast Oh let me hug and buss it Thanks to great Crab and Mother Woossat Non. I have Oh let me hug and buss it Thanks to great Crab and Mother Woossat Crab Come jolly lovers let 's be trudging I le see you both safe in your lodging There kiss and take your fill of dodging First to my Hall for there are coming A Crew of jovial youth 's a mumming So well you shall be treated there That ev'ry Youth and Damzel here Shall envy joys of Youth and Bear Exeunt all The Scene open'd discovers a Crew of Bachanals dressed with Ivy and Vine-leaves drinking and laughing beyond them a company of Lovers adorn'd with Garlands of Roses c. in a pleasant Grove Song by the Bacchanals Time 's an old Rascal he never will stay Yet in spite of his Scythe and his Glass He that flies from his liquorâ— an Ass. Boy drink away Boy drink away While this is a singing Bacchus rises riding on a Hogshead dressed with Vine-branches and Ivy. Song by the Lovers Ah! Charming Fair Divine Ice Flames Darts Nymph Goddess beauties shrine O eyes and hearts Stars Suns and Diomands Roses and Lillies Damon Alexis Oh Cloris Ah Phillis Powr's Gods and Fates Oh pity joy and pain Languish alass Fears Hopes Smiles and Disdain Oh cruel Nymph Ah unrelenting Swayn While this is singing Cupid flies down on the Stage Bacchus sings Come my Sons of the Grape while your faces outshine The Sun in the Sky with the juice of the Vine Let the pale whining lover discover How sad are the Chains and how pleasant are mine While this is singing all the Bacchanals come on the Stage Cupid sings Come happy Lovers come and tell The joys that in your Bosom's dwell The pleasures of the hands and eyes How ev'ry look and touch surprize Let your perswasive Language prove There is no Paradice but Love While this is singing the lovers come on the Stage Chorus of all We come to dye or win the Field For hearts with Love and Bacchus fill'd Can fight and fall but never yield A Dance of Bacchanals and Lovers A Song by a Lover When Caelia my heart did surprize In an Ocean of grief my fair Goddess did rise And like Christal dissolv'd the tears flow'd from her eyes From her beautiful Cheeks all the Roses withdrew And she look'd like a Lilly o'rladen with dew How sweet did her sorrow appear How I trembl'd and sigh'd and for every tear Made a vew to the Gods and a Prayer to her Oh how soft are the wounds we receive from the fair But the joys and the pleasures there 's none can declare What panting and fainting I feel When imbracing her feet before Caelia I kneel Oh how dear are her smiles and how sweetly they kill Ev'ry minute I dye with the thoughts of her Bliss And she breaths a new life in each languishing kiss O Love let us still wear the Chain Let no Passion but love in our fancies e'r reign Let us often be cur'd and ne'r freed from our pain All the pleasures of Wine to the Sense are confin'd But 't is Love is the Noblest delight of the mind SONG by a Bacchanal Lovers grow pale and Beauties grow stale And their pleasures end all like an old Winters tale But the Beauties of Wine do still sparkle and shine And make all that love it and drink it Divine Love makes you old e'r thirty is told But the aged and cold become active and bold Look as plump and as brisk as the Grape that 's unprest When their heads with the Spirit of Wine are possest The Clouds open and from the inner part of the Heaven descends Iupiter in his Charriot drawn by Eagles Jupiter sings Let Love and Wine no more contend To whose high Pow'rs all Mortals bend Before this Assembly where are The Amorous the Youthful and Fair Make an end of your long doubtful War Chorus Why should you quarrel and fiercely complain All the World is your own your Rites would maintain But without one another you neither can Reign A Chorus of Cupid and Bacchus Let Hermes the Herald of Heaven and Fame The Union of Cupid and Bacchus proclaim Trumpets are heard a far off the Heavens divide and from the furthest end Mercury flies down attended by Fame and the whole Heaven appears adorn'd with Angels c. and Musick Mercury sings To all and to Singular in this great meeting The weighty Gods Cupid and Bacchus send greeting Whereas by some Poets a wicked design Of difference was raised between Love and good Wine They now do declare An end of the War And the hearts of all Mortals will equally share Chorus When Beauties are cruel to banish your care From Love to the Charms of Bacchus repair And when Bacchus inflames you with too hot a Fire To the pleasures of Love for assistance retire A Catch sung in three parts and danc'd By Bacchanals and Lovers Let 's love and drink and drink and love and drink on What have we else in this dull World to think on But still to love to drink and love and drink on Let 's love and drink and drink and love for ever And let each Nymph be made a kind believer For he that loves and drinks will ne'r deceive her Enter two Elizian Princes and dance through Hoops The Dance ended Mercury speaks to the Audience Although the War 'twixt Love and Wine is done We dare not triumph 'till your pleasure 's known For here the very Gods your Powers own If all that Love and Drink loud plaudits ring The joyful Gods and Nymphs again shall sing Sing And Nonsy shall injoy her pretty thing FINIS EPILOGUE LIke Cunning Wives to cheat you to your Bliss We took the Garb and Humours of your Miss As gay as vain and ayery we are grown And you as brisk as young Gallants came on And look as dull as they now th' Act is done Since Non-sense Noise and Show still bear the Bell As wise Physicians do with Mad-men deal We humour you to make you sooner well If this won't take T'insure our future charge and Credit too As undertakers for great Volumes do We 'l paint your Coats of Arms o'r ev'ry Scene And dedicate 'm t' ye to draw you in Poor Nonsy dreading the approaching storm Sits trembling like a Hare within her Form While Criticks swarm from ev'ry part o'th'Town Prepar'd with Damning noise to run her down She fears no Gen'rous Hunters for they come Only for sport and would prevent her Doom She fears no snarling Fops though ev'ry foot Like eager Lovers they will put her to 't Still hunting close and snatching at her Scut No only sneaking Poachers she can dread That with their long-tail'd Mungrils hunt for Bread And lurk in holes to knock her on the head Tou Gentlemen that for your pleasure came Let not those creeping Vermine kill your game Give her fair Law and while in view she flies Your swelling hopes and sweet delights will rise But when you paunch her all your pleasure dies Keep up your sport and to prevent our sorrow Save her this night and run her down to morrow Non-so Now to the Misses thus poor Nonsy bends To leave no stone unturn'd to gain our ends You She-Weavers that without lawless Engines come Engines That like dark Lanthorns lurk in little Room And manage twenty Shuttles with one Loom While honest Lab'rers that can use but one For want of work lye still and are undone Let all your Tools be stirring for your Aid Or we will burn your Engines and destroy your Trade FINIS
all day all night with din With Hempen cord have great Toe cramp'd By Dog of Newgate thump'd and stamp'd By Rogues and Vermine kept from sleep While some do roar and some do weep Oh Woossat harsh Prince Bruin cruel To sneak away from precious Jewel Yet in these horrours I could sing Had I again my pretty thing Song Let Beauty triumph o're despair For none are cruel to the Fair The Crooked the Old and deformed shall be From cares and affronts never free But the Youthful the pretty and kind In a Prison some pity will find For all are to Love and to beauty inclin'd One gives her a Bottle of Brandy and Sings this Come hither and take this Bottle of Nantz 'T will make mother Woossat soon leave off her rants For I know she is one of my Naunts Though she 's hot as a Codling 'T will make her straight Maudlin She 'l sip she 'l sigh she 'l swear she 'l sing and she 'l melt She 'l kiss thee and groan for the pains thou hast felt Chorus Alass my poor Nonsy I grieve for thy smart For though an old Woman be never so tart A dram of the Bottle will soften her heart Song Thy Sisters must howl for the Trenchers they stole And the Princes are in the Pit-hole There they shall stay For ever and a day But Nonsey shall straight go to play 1. Make hast poor Nonsey 2. Make hast poor Nonsey Both. Make hast poor Nonsey to Bruin 1. For Nonsey shall injoy her pretty thing 2. For Nonsey c. Both. For Nonsey c. Chorus of all make hast poor Nonsey make c. make For Nonsey Non. Now I am so glad and so sorry I don't know which Leg to set foremost My Sisters were two crabbed vixons to me yet their Sufferings put out the lighted Tinder of my joy but then the Steel of my love strikes new Fire into the Tinder-box of my Inclination and makes my natural affection glow again I shall injoy my Bear for ever Oh happy Nonsey yet this was a horrible merry Tragedy O lo the Princess Nicklas and Phillip here again Enter Princess Phil. and Nick. Nick. No we are but their Ghosts Non. Their Ghosts Oh! 't is well you say so your selves for no-Body would believe it from any other what makes you come to me Nick. We vow'd at our Death 's to come and tell you what place we were at Non. Poor loving Ghosts tell me quickly then Nick. Immediately after we were dead we found our selves in a â—â—wer made all of Wishes pav'd with thoughts where at a Table of Heigh-hoes sat King Andrew and Mother Redstreak at Dinner they had a Phaenix boil'd with a Dish of love Raptures and drank nothing but Spirit of Extasie we sat down with them and Six Gods attended us after Dinner we slept upon a Couch of Virginity imbroyder'd all over with Kings smiles then walking by a Fountain of Fruition who should we see but King Andrew and his Queen at Hey-gammer-Cook in a Grotto of Innocence Non. Oh most ravishing delights but why is Phillip's Ghost so mopish Nick. He would have been kind to Gammar Redstreak and she threw a Glass of extasie in his Chops One thing dear Princess we must intreat of you that you will sing that Ingenious Song of the delights of the Bottle three and thirty times and make as many Cursy's to the West for till that is done our Soul's won't be free of Elyzium Nonsy Upon my Honour I 'le do 't though I were to give my self a thump in the back ev'ry time For example Song The delights of the Bottle and the Charms of a drab When they pour out their pleasures will make a man mad All the night in deep Healths and loud Curses is spent Which the dull silly Fop the next day does repent And Love 's sweet debauch in a moment is gone But leaves a damn'd Pox to last all the life long Love and Wine rule the Swords that shed so much Blood All the World but for them would grow vertuous and good Were it not for the Witchcrafts of Wenching and Wine Madam would be poor and my Lord would be fine But she now keep her Coach and can live without thinking And damns her Debauch with his Wenching and Drinking Nick. Enough enough dear Princess farewel when thus you do Think of us two Phil. Dear Princess Farewel When thus you do think of us two For I 'm a Ghost though I stood so like a Post. None Farewel two such loving Ghosts were never found On English Ground The delights of the Bottle c. Oh how I begin to be weary If this will make Mother Woossat's heart chearful sure 't will refresh me Princess thy good health Nonsy I 'le pledge thee six go-downs humming stuff upon my honour Princess where is this sold Princess Asking questions Nonsy Time's precious Ah poor loving Ghosts The delights of the Bottle c. You had hard Fortune but there 's one above knows all Oh my head swims and I grow faint with strength My dear Bear farewell The delights of the Bottle She falls asleep Enter Bruin Bru. Where is my love where is my dear O lemine I think she 's here Where are thy eyes thy pretty eyes Look how thy love poor Bruin cries She 's dead she 's dead she 's dead Oh! whither art thou fled Oh Mother Woossat Oh cruel Death Oh! who has stop'd thy spicey breath Oh pretty Nonsy Oh hapless Bruin Oh fie Oh dear Oh me Oh thee Oh hear Thy sobbing houling Bear Oh Woossat Mother since tha 'st kill'd my joy I will thy Imps and sucking Toads destroy Thy Charmes and Pictures all shall perish too And what so e'r thou dost I will undo Woossat flies down in her Charriot Wooss. So Insolent why what a Murrain You 'l find the stink the worse for stirring Bru. I will revenge my dear Nonesee On Justice Crab and eke on thee What Hellish Teen what Devilish Ire Made thee leave Nonsey in the mire Wooss. For her you did neglect my Trade And when to Wishing-Chair I call'd for aid You wheedl'd him to be your Bawd Bru. Oh save my love my Nonsy save And I 'le for ever be thy Slave I 'le trot to Carriers ev'ry week Fresh Countrey Ware for thee to seek And when thou hast'm I 'le bring thee ev'ry Gallants Custom Wooss. Pry'thee stint thy silly talk Thou mayest as well turn Cheese to Chalk Bru. Oh my Nonsey Oh my heart Blood and Guts Oh save my dear Oh save my Queen of Sluts Thou stony-hearted Witch is this so much Think what fine Nymphs I did for thee debauch Wooss. Thou prat'st in vain the cruel Dye is cast Bru. Oh cruel Mother whither in such hast I 'le show thy tricks and all thy conjuring Art And make thee ride in Triumph in a Care No Gallant e'r shall rap at dore And without Man in vain is Whore Wooss. Th' art insolent I 'le hear no more
agreed sweet Lady Will you deny poor harmless Daddy What er'you wish for you will have Else say King Andrew is a knave Non. Cheer up Sisters why should you look so gloomy What er'the wishing chair shall say The King and That I will obey Else may this liquor ne'r go through me K. And. Come let 's not on each other stare But hye us to the wishing chair That will set all right in a minuit Or else I think the Devil 's in it So swimmingly we 'l carry matters All pristine Poets that come after 's To sing Heroick love and slaughters shall write of King and his three Daughters Exeunt The End of the first Act. ACT II. SCENE I. Enter Wossat and Bruine. Woss. SOn Bruin mind your hits I say mind your hits this young cold Harlottry None-so-fair must be sous'd and touz'd do'e mark me she must be tumbl'd and jumbl'd she must I say it or else the Noble Science of Wenching will grow obsolete and all our Famous Function may starve for after that who will pity poor decay'd old Gentlewomen that carry Letters or suffer Pours Points Paint or Patches to be brought to their Chambers And you of the Illustrious Society of Pimping may hang if you have Courage enough to deserve it or dye in holes like poyson'd Ratts You will be shouted through the Street like strange Dogs with horns at their tails pump'd and baited like Spirits that steal children every Cuckold will have a snap at your Carkasses Bru. Then one comfort will be that our miseries will be short liv'd for those Beasts you talk of swarm so thick that 't will be impossible to pass one Street without being worried to death Every publick Assembly looks like a Picture of the Creation before man was made fill'd up with variety of Creatures that show all Horns and Tails Woss. 'T is for our honour know that I will revive the Sect of Adamites renew the Family of Love and make the slavery of Marriage so out of fashion that a Man and Wife shall be show'd about and wondred at as much as an Hermaphrodite an entire Egyptian Mummy or a Cat with two tails Bru. I know Mother your Interest with the Gentry is great there is hardly a Noble Family where one of your Order does not lye hid under the shape of a Couzen House-keeper Wayting Women Chamber-Maid or the like Woss. That I learn't from my Brother on the other side of the water whose Emissaries are all disguis'd his precepts and mine agree in most circumstances We had rather allow 20 Whores then one wife to those of our order I will bring up here that old Scotch Custom that every Lord of the Manour shall have the first nights dalliance with the Bodies of all his Vassals Bru. That will assure you the hearts of all the great Ones and keep the others from Marriage so your business is done Woss. But first let None-so-fair's business be done Bou. I dare not she is King Andrews best beloved daughter Woss. Were she the skin between her brows I'denot spare her do 't or forswear thy Office Bru. That I could easily do for 't is not now worth keeping if there 's any new piece worth Money a Father Brother or some Relation Usurps our office and reaps the profit Woss. 'T is too true and 't is unconscionable that Christians should turn Canibals and feed upon their own flesh and blood my case is even as bad too I that have spent my Youth to gain experience must in my Age be Nos'd and have my Bread taken from my Teeth by every Black brow'd Baggage that leaps into the publick Practice of procuring e'r they know the mystery of jilting nay too often learn both together Bru. In the City they dare not use two Trades at once but in the Suburbs they may do any thing Woss. Your Midwife who is related to our Craft as a Phisician is to a Mountebank for we make work for them to finish though we Lay six to their one suffers none to profess their Art till they have been Deputies seven years Well things and things must be mended but first to the point King Andrews three Daughters are coming to the wishing Chair the two elder are mad for Husbands their business is done to our hands Bru. Quite contrary for if they Marry they 'l renounce you Woos No! Though ordinary people that pretend not to the modish Marry to live sullen that is chast Others know better things your Gentleman stands now as much for the priviledge of keeping a Miss after Marriage as a Woman with a Portion does for a Joynture Ay! and inserts it into that Covenant Make us thankful we live in a loving Age but to the point None-so-fair by my means is resolved to wish the White Bear of Norwich to be her Husband thinking which is indeed true that there is no such thing though we have frighted silly people into that belief to cheat them the better Bru. Oh! now I find your meaning that White Bear I will be and the King being possest with a Reverence to our Juggling wishing Chair shall himself bring her to my Arms. Woss. Very good but least she should be stubborn let Ieffery be ready to assist you in your pious design Bru. If we can but wheedle them into an awful faith Woss. Why should not the speech of a Chair do as much as Apollo's tripod a Spirit in a Wall or the eyes of Images moved with Wires let all be Grave and Solemn for that 's the chief support of Counterfeit worship and let your expressions be in Greek or any unpractis'd canting Gibberish Bru. Enough I 'le warrant the bus'ness Woos This Musick tells their approach let 's dispatch and attend them in Soft Musick The Scene drawn discovers the wishing Chair Enter a Boy in a Surplice dancing follow'd by two women bearing a Chaffing dish between them and smoaking Tobacco after them comes the Chief Priest in a Fools-coat his Train supported by two in like habit two Priests in Surplices follow them then come two Judges playing on Jewes-trumps followed by a Cardinal playing on a Childs Fiddle two in grave habits follow him playing on Childrens Pipes then comes a Major beating a little Drum after him the King leading None-so-fair Prince Nick and Sweet-lips Phillip and Woudha attended with Guards c. They pass round the Stage and place themselves on each side and the Chief Priests before the Chair and the two in Surplices on each side Song Let Maudlin lovers that are in despair And musty Virgins at their latest Pray'r To be freed from their troubles come hither And Widows whose fires Of unnatr'all desires Have parch'd up their faces like leather Chorus We 'l dry up their tears and ease all their Care With a delicate thing called a new wishing chair Of crackling tell-tale Wicker 't is not made Which loves dear Secrets has too oft'betray'd To this Chair so much Vertue is given That when
their Power less bycause Miracle is greater then Nature But if the Gods make children when Natures Instrument is out of tune They use no Nature because Nature without Nature is not Nature but Miracle Unnatural miraculous Nature Phil. There 's your Anchovies Priest 't was woundy well spoak and zooe if this begranted I he Gods can but they wo'not because they would but they cannot and they wo'nt and they cannot and they cannot any they wo'nt and zo They 'l ne'r be mad because they 'r not long in a mind Az a deaf Hostess can't zee because she 's blind Ch. Pr. Avaunt you scoffing Blades avaunt The Thundring Gods begin to Rant It Thunders and Lightens the Chair sinks and the Priests and all their Attendants run off the Stage Phil. What dost think we be wild Irish and will run away Because the Clouds be troubl'd with the wind cholick Odzbboars dost think chill lose my Coin and my Parcel Non. The Gods and wishing Chair we must obey And I will go because I cannot stay K. And. Come my sweet Pigs-nie let 's make hast If Bear eats thee for his breakfast As I 'am a sinner He shall have me for a dinner Nick. Thus great was betray'd And Psyche taken from her Dad Though Princess huff'd and swore like mad Exeunt all but Phillip Phil. All gwon zure 't is a Bawdy-house Vor there cham twoald they use you thus Be vengeance cranck till you are snoring drunk And then away shirks Money Cloaths and Punck The Gods may well rain Golden showr's Into the Laps of Paramours Credit is theirs but cost is ours Ch'ave not one penny left my drouth to quench If this be Religion give me a Wench Ther 's your Anchovles Exit Phillipl ACT II. SCENE III. A Wilderness Enter King Andrew Sweet-lips Woudha and None-so-fair Non. O Royal Dad see how he blubbers Kings should not whine so like great lubbers K. A. O slip O Daughter mine where art thou gadding I ne'r shall hear thee more sing with a fadding Oh! that could grave thee hadst thou put in Before by me thou wer 't begotten Why should the Gods be so barbraous Oh! that t'hadst dy'd in Natures Ware-house Then Death that cunning old Shop-lifter From stall of eyes had never snift her Non Your sniv'ling melts me so that I shall be quite dead before I dye K. And. Oh ye Gods I 've many a day paid Scot and lot And well I 'm serv'd now am I not Nons. Oh! Sir begone begone I say For if you tarry here My life it will soon sneak away And cheat the Gods and eke the bear Sisters two I leave you here To keep you clean and sweet Be good unto my Daddy dear For so 't is very meet Each week let him have shirt full clean Let head be comb'd and wash'd his face Let holes be mended in hosen Himself can't do 't you see alass Sir On my knees I you beseech To leave me now alone For why my Elbows both do itch Till you are fled and gone O! Budge away from this place flat all For if the Bear should come have at all Bw'y Daddy for ever and a day K. And. Mine own dear Hussey do not so say Bespeak a place for me below there For I 'le come down some time of other And do'e hear remember me to your Mother Exeunt all but None-so-fair Noneso For all so well I hid my fears Deaths Calumny my facebesmears Laud what a quiddie am I in i'fack i'fack You may wring the shift upon my back If 't were but Flesh and Blood I would not fear But to be touz'd by nought but clawes and hair Hair stiffer then an old mans Beard Would make the stoutest Vizard here afeard Why should I speak so the Chair told me the bear would be kind to me I 'le shut my eyes and think A'tis some Gallant in Masquerade with Fur'd-Coat on but then he can't cry like a discreet soft Counter do'e know me now no He 'l roar â—oh ho ho and 〈◊〉 oh like a Drunken Soldier at the Sack of a City Enter Phillip and Nicklas Phil. O hoe here she is pluck up Heart O Grace here take my muckinder and dry thy ey'n c ham the Blood O' the Phillips ne'r a Dog in the Village can zay blacks mine eye but in the way of love and honesty and av'ore the Bear shall eat one bit o've thee Princess I hill beat my Oaken Plant to th'stumps Don't windle zoo but leave thy doleful dumps Nick. Let Guts and Garbage feed white Bears Poor strolling Cracks and Wastcoteers Not Gods but cheating Crew of juggling Chair Are mad to make a Meal on Royal Gueer Non. I will not hear the Sacred Chair abused Nick. Poor harmless Rogue how sadly he 's misused Great Princess since grim â—ucâ—us coming No longer here let 's stay Caps thrumming Come jog along with us good Fellows We will regale you at next Ale-house And of one kiss of Bona Robas Bears Gods nor Divels shall not bob us Non. No more great Sirs was 't Court-ship here You take the wrong sow by the ear For by Lord Harry I'el ne'r marry And when I do it shan't be you Thereforego too A Roaring within as of a Boar. Phil. Odz-boars Prince Nick. Ston Vast here 's the Anchovies Nick. Bear up Phillip bear up Phil. Ay ay but don't hunch me zoo I hill warn't vor one A Roaring again the Bear enters seizes the Princess and sincks with her while Jeffry with a switch beats of the Princes END of the II. ACT. ACT J. Scene III. Enter Payers with Beaters on thyir shoulders and their Master with his measuring Rod. SONG YOu tough brawny Lads that can live upon stone And skin the hard Flint for good Liquor Let love to the Idle and wealthy begone And let preaching alone to the Vicar Let all be made plain with your Strikers and Thumpers And when your works done we 'l about with the Bumpers The little blind God of which lovers do prate Makes all that adore him grow lazy For counterfeit blessings he long makes you wait And with sighs and diseases he pays ye But he you serve now with your Strikers and Thumpers When the works done will about with the Bumpers 1. Pav The Walks are all gravell'd and the Bower shall be prepar'd for the Bear and Nonsey 2. Pa. But e'r wego in let the Drinking begin And then we will Thump it agen Chorus With full double Pots Let us liquor our throats And then we 'l to work with a hoh ho ho But let 's drink e'r we go let 's drink e'r we go Mast. Then toss up your liquor and to labour make hast The time is too precious to wast Chorus With full double c. 1. Pav Here Harry 2. Pav Here Will. 3. Pav Old True-penny still All. While one is drinking another should fill Pa. Here 's to thee Peter 4. Thanks honest Phil. All. Le ts lustily swill and while one is drinking
he appears dressed like a Cupid Non. Oh what a glorious thing was here in shape of ugly Bear Oh what hands what legs are there But Oh the face and oh the hair And Oh that he were mine own dear Bru. The Bear I am Non. Pray Gad be Jon. Bru. For all you are so cranck and prety The Chair has sent me here to eat ye Non. Oh eat me quickly and Oh eat me long For and Oh! Iam not sickly but Ah! I am not young Ah! I 'm very tender by my troth Oh! I long to leap into thy mouth In thy dear kidnies I 'le inhabit And make a Burrough like a Rabbit Oh! no other love shall thence me ferret Ah! I will not hurt thee do not fear it But like gentle Viper some Times to pretty mouth I 'le come Hounds-teeth to pick on eyes to gaze And view thy comely maple face Then turning round in wainscot jawes And sliding down rough corral Throat There in loves sweets I 'le stewing lye Till all dissolv'd in love I dye My mind boils over with the thought Bru. My fair Non. my Love Br. my Dear Non. my Dove Bru. My Honey Non. my Bunny Br. my Croney Non. Let me approach ye Bru. Let me make much o'ye Non. Oh let me kiss that pretty pretty dimple Bru. My love is willing but she 's wondrous simple Non. Ah how I long Oh how I am stung Ah I feel your headed steel Oh how it smarts Ah how it tickles Ah the softness and Oh the prickles Ah how it cleaves my heart in pieces Now now Oh now it increases Now my Blood begins to be at peace I 'le warrant you 't was all up in my face Oh the sweets of the pain Ah the pain of the pleasure Ah the griefs Oh the joys without measure Bru. Is this cold Numph without heart like Iron Her face doth tempt but tricks do tyre one My stomacks full but she 's more eager Then Soldier coming from long leaguer Non. Oh the Trance in which I 've been Ah that 't would 'till Death remain But Oh 't will never never come again Bru. Allonz my Dear I am thy Bear Cheer up I say I have it for ye With nought but love I will not marry Non. Ah Laud Sirs did you ever see the like what have you done to me well y' are a naughty Bear I believe y' are a Witch do virtuous Princess use to be so Poor thing I was never so before and I would do nothing mis-becoming the Rank Quality of King Andrews-daughter Bru. Oh well dissembled Ignorance Non. Your hand bewitch'd me but your eyes Oh those Inchanting eyes I never saw such eyes nor felt such eyes nor heard such eyes nor understood such eyes Oh those delicate dear long round twinckling pincking glazing leering sneering Sheeps eyes of thine O look away they pierce me so I know not wher'I feel or no. Why do'e gape so amorous zee Would you have any thing of me Bru. Oh yes I am soust too in loves pickle Salt tears down cheeks like Mil-stones trickle My heart in Stomach their would rest As brooding Rook does on soft nest And while for food it there sits calling With bit of pity thou must stop his yawling Oh give me thy pretty thing And when that pretty thing thou givest to me I 'le burn its Tail that it may fly from me Non. Oh take it then Oh catch it quickly Staying with me 't is grown so sickly It melts too fast unless your help withstands 'T will dye away and lye upon my hands Oh it flutters Ah it pants yet yet I hav 't Oh Sir dispatch dispatch if you would sav 't Sir Sir Sir now now Oh now it tingles at my fingers ends 'T is gone 't is gone run fetch it back again Or I shall dye unless thou giv'st me thine Exeunt running Scene chang'd Enter the Princes Nicklas and Phillip Pil. Prince Nick c ham zick ove this zokring work Che wonder where the Vengeance scab do lurk Why wuss mon she 's but one o' my Naunts There vore lets squot and leave theez murrin Jaunts Nick. All ground 's to hot for me to tarry on Till I have got my Princely Carrion Though Fortune is froppish still we hope well Phil. be not moapish but ask all Pe-o-ple Phil. May be she 's zunning on zome odrous mixion Choud teaz her ifz cou'd vind the Vixon Nick. Had she none but we to put her tricks on Phil. A vowdry tit come Nick lets zlip hence When luch zares pride wull pay her odd vip'ence Yet white Bears a Beast if he hurt imp Royal Though Bear have Feast let wishing Chair pay all Let 's hye us to'n straight and bumbast the bony Witch Che doubt thick Chair had vurst lick ove her hony Critch Nick. Mums the word least he by flight prevent us Let 's gallop straight on pair of nimble Tentoes Exeunt The Scene chang'd to the Arbour Enter None-so-fair Non. Laud what have I done I reek like a new shot gun Heigh hoe a kind of shameless shame I feel But I feel something else that joyes me still And does that other feeling quite out-feel I can't repent now for my blood Sure things so sweet must need be good Besides to love is to obey a God The things so Sacred and so kind to boot That I will roar it out again I 'le do 't Here comes the little loving Rogue Now do I blush like a blew Dog What shall I do I am rapt Oh! I shall have my fit again for something catches me fast by the inclination Oh you Divel you Ah! Sing this The more I look the more I like beauty breeds my hearts delight Bru. Poor virtuous loving Princess At first she seem'd to loath loves pleasant bub And now she 's all for empting of the Tub. Non. Though I 'm so fond of one ne'r seen before I hope you do not think I am a Whore Yet least that I should prove with Child And you should run away therefore I pray Sir be so meek and mild To tell me like a trusty Trojan Both what 's your Name and where 's your Lodging Bru. I am a great Prince my Estate lyes in the new Utopia I am chief commander of all the Padders Jugglers Priggers Ditchers Bulkers and Pickpockets to me all those merry Greeks pay Tribute which shall come into thy Fob all the beautious Doxies Dells and Drabs shall obey the back and admire thy magnificence Thou shalt be both my pretty Romp in Luxury and Pomp thy eyes shall watch while thy ears are ravished and all thy other Senses shall dance Bobbing-Ioan for joy I 'le keep thee in thy Hair and thy Slippers thou shalt eat like a Cameleon and drink like a Flitter-mouse thy House shall be made of one intire Sugar-Plum out of which thou shalt every day eat thy passage like a lovely Viper out of his Dams Belly thy Closet shall be furnished with Sun-beams thy Cloaths shall
be all Marmalade powdered with Caraways for spangles thy Bed shall be made of a great Blue-Fig and thy Curtains of Dyet-bread Paper where thou shalt lye like the Lady in the Lobster 'till I come to dress thee with the Vinegar of love and the Nutmeg of Luxury thy Coach shall be of some fine new Trangam which we 'l study for Non. Oh I am rapt again Bru. Thou shalt have a Dog and a Parrot and when th' are sick thou shalt have a Physitian and a Surgean for them Non. Oh! I am rap't again but what if they should dye Bru. Then thou shalt mourn o're thy dear Cur like a grave Person of quality put thy woman in black and convey it with a Train of Hakneys to the Sepulchre of his stinking Ancestor in Pomp and Luxury But my dear Bunting I tell thee one thing Ask not my mighty name for that once known Like fairy pence thy Trump'ry will be gone If Newgate keeper once should smoak us Thy Bear must vanish with a hocus Non. But Love Honey won't you let my Sisters visit me truly they are not adopted Sisters but of my true Royal Flesh and Blood and I would fain show my Pride and Luxury For Bravery without being seen is like Iohn come kiss me without dancing or a Bell without a Clapper for it makes no noise Bru. My Ieffery shall for them hye And fetch them hither by and by Enter Jeffery G. Pri. Hoe Iefferey Hoe make hast and go Hunt for great Sisters high and low Thou 'lt find the stately Trape's tyr'd with Travel Out of surbated trotters picking gravel Or at some Farmers door a resting haunches And singing smutty Ballads for Bread and Cheese Ieff. The Quean looks shy on 't will she bob will she come Bru. The Nymph is plyant done is job word is mum Ieff. Blouzes I fly to call as fast as hoofs can fall I 'le bring them hither with their Fardels Or leave them there it will go hard else Exit Ieffery Bru. I hope your Sisters are no setters And come to tempt you with Love-letters If you let any other at my Charges My fresh tap'd love will turn as sowr as Verjuice But let that pass Now prick up ears let eyes stare hard Let all thy Senses stand on Guard That I may catch them unprepar'd Till Ieffry do thy lineage bring We 'l go and hunt the pretty thing Exeunt ACT III. SCENE III. Enter Wishing-Chair and Jeffry Wish And how and how do things and things fit does she melt like Snow in his arms and make the Rogue think there 's Fire in his bosom does the little Vermine twine about him like a tame Snake and make her tongue seem forked with swift motion Ieffry. Why all these questions Friend and ask'd with such envious curiosity because you made the first discovery you thought the Natives would truck with no other Y' are out you only touch'd upon the Coast he has fail'd up the River discovered the In-land planted a Colony and settl'd the Trade of Furs Wish Oh Rogue 't is a dainty spot of Ground Woods Rivers Mountains over which is plac'd a Sky always serene and clear Well the Dog has his day Ieffry. Ay and He 'l not lose a minuit of it Wish I shall ne'r forget the pretty skittish thing did so snach away my kisses and throw them back again with such a furious kind Scorn Pray let me go now won't you and then imbrac'd me so fiercely as if she had wish'd the Divel take me if I did Ah! she pressed like fresh Curds newly put into the Cheese-frame Oh Ieffry Ieffry Ieffry. Oh Friend Friend you have had your time and must now live upon your Alforges like a great Monkey chew the Cud for you must be a clean Beast in spight of your teeth I over-heard the Puissant Princess make dangerous resolves against your dear life Prince Phillip will be at your Anchovies i'faith Bruin thinks fit that you repair to our Pallace the new Musick-house you know where for your Worships safely and to incourage you heark ye I am sent for two fresh Frollicks the two elder Sisters Wish Art thou so enough I am for the Straights Enter Gammer Readstreak Ieffry. Hold hold here 's a Packing-penny she comes to wish for a Famine that Corn may sell dear Wish Or a foul disease on those that Robb'd her Hen-roost Pox upon her brown Bread Phisnomie lets go Ieffry. Not a foot Sir till this old Jade's curry'd y' are bound by Oath to refuse none Wish Pri'thee Ieffry be favourable dispence Ieffry. On on Sir will you perform or shall I complain remember Wee 'l dry up your tears and ease all your Care With delicate thing call'd a new wishing Chair Let the good Woman be satisfied now will I go find her Husband and send him hither immediatly dear mischief how I love thee Exit Ieffry. Red. Ah blessing on his good heart he speaks most Serene and clear he 's a very notable Man I 'le warrant you and whoever says Gammar Redstreak hath no Judgement Hy hee and for all your whim whams they prate and prate but give me something has some savour and say and hold Gadslidikins I 'le not be trampl'd on by the Proudest I have known the time when my penny was as White and round as the best fiddle faddle of them all Oh the tumbling and rumbling there was then I 'le warrant you my Linnen was so touzl'd and mouzl'd 't wou'd do ones heart good to see 't But now like and old crack'd Groat whose stamp's worn out none will take me they say I am not current But I 'le fit 'em for I 'le wish my self a Queen and this House full of Money in my Pocket Wish And the Devil in thy Chattering Chops Red. Ay your worships and a new Husband every time I change my Apron Wish And a new Disease ev'ry time thou tun'st thy Clack Enter Jeffry and Costard observing them Ieffry. See how close they are an honest Man and an Headborough Cost Oh Trumpet Oh Hilding I have been her true and natural Husband any time this twenty Year up zitting and down-lying Ah how she bumbast him out thou Carrion Red. Show your favour Sir and when I am a Queen you shall be my head Hind Wish Some kind mischief deliver me from this she Dragon Red. I shall make rare a Queen and bring good houswifry into fashion for I 'le make all the Masques and Chorus's and Simphonies my self With a Fiddle Faddle hey down diddle faith let 's be merry Cost How Pestilent Jocund the lown is well my heart leaps against my teeth like a Rat against the Wyers of a Trap. I 'le be with thee in the twinckling of a Cabbage I 'le scoure thy Crab-lanthorn with a witness look to 't I 'le swing thy Croudledum I will Ieffry. Dispatch then for the Show will be past else I would fain get the Rogue some soure sawc to his sweet bit Cost Ah!
Nicklas and Phillip Phil. Now Nick for the honour of Knight-hood let 's stand to our Pan-puddings here 's the white Bear and the Wishing-Chair have at 'em by guess Nick. Oh Nonsy Lady mine inspire my Arm with Knightly prowess to fight this dreadful Battel This trenchant Blade I draw and now have at all Red. O mercy mercy passion o' me their naked Tucks upon a Woman The Chair and Costard sink the Princess cut off Redstreaks head clap it on a Sword and go off singing Good Christians Rejoyce With glad heart and with Voice The white Bear is dead And here is his head ACT IIII. SCENE I. Enter two men Neighbours 1. Neighbour Don't you see a great noise somewhere just like an Eccho coming from a Playn where are no Woods Hills or Valleys to make it 2. Ay ay 't is because the Princes have kill'd the Bear and every mothers Child is gone out to meet them 1. The Princess are fine Blades i'faith'specially Prince Phillip for Quoyts or Cudgels turn him loose Well now Maids may live and marry when they can get Husbands 2. Ay and we may hope to hear of a Maid in the ten 's again before they were affraid of being given to the Bear that Maiden-heads were as cheap as stinking Fish 1. I have heard much of these Maiden-heads prythee what are they like 2. Like why they are so like nothing that there is nothing like them 1. If the Bear was kill'd but half an hour ago as it seems by the story how could the triumphal Arch be built and all this Pomp and Luxury be prepared to entertain the Prince 2. The way was chalk'd out by some Poet or perhaps it was done by Nature and the Gods 1. Nature and the Gods they had other Fish to fry they have been together by the ears all this day about Princess None-so-fair But heark the Eccho draws near from the Playn Let 's take our places least we lose the Show Exeunt Enter the Princess Riding in Triumph on Hobby-horses the Womans-head carried on a Spear attended with many on Horse-back and a Foot with Banners and Trails Drums and Trumpets c. After they have passed round the Stage and taken their places One sings a Ballad and all throng about him Song Prick up your ears for and that you may hear A Battel so dreadful 'tween Princess and Bear Oh Christian Pee-pel This Beast was so hungry and also right fell he eat youth and baggage like Salt Beef and Cabbage 't was dolefull to look on and ruefull to tell Chorus But now the Bear 's dead And here is his head By which you may see all is sooth that I said Therefore rejoyce sing and dance all and some With a lum trum tum trum tum c. Dark was the Air as if Welkin were sick When bloody minded Rose Phillip and Nick Quoth Nicolas I think The Fight will be doubtful then first let us drink Prince Phillip by and by Did fill out the Brandy And Courage did swell up as Bottle did shrink Chorus But now the Bear 's dead c. Brandishing Blades with Bottle and Bag These Princes went boldly to find out the Draggon-Bear I do mean And catch'd him devouring of two pretty men They stole both behind him And e'r he could mind them They cut him and slash'd him agen and agen A Dance performed by two men and a Bear showing the manner of the Princes killing the Bear Song You Champions great that kill'd the Beast shall drink and eat still of the best For him you slew with Swords sharp dint Car'd not one Fig for Iack o'lent But star'd as if he would cry forth When Boy with Clapper cry'd shooh shoh Chorus Among Knights errant you shall not Give place to any but Quixot 1. While we their Praises are hum drumming See where Mother Wossat's coming Mother Woossat flies over the Stage and calls Iustice Crab who comes out in his Charriot Woossat knocks Is Justice Crab within Crab. What wouldst thou mortal Song Woss. Iustice Oh gentle Iustice Crab Crab. Why makes my Croan this doleful moan Who dares affront my beauteous drab Wooss. My sister Redstreaks dead Crab. Is sister Redstreak dead Wooss. Ay! ay! Crab. What mortal did the direful deed Wooss. Proud Springal Princess made her bleed And said They cut off Bruines head Oh! If thou yet canst prise The Amber dropping from my eyes If all the Pensions I have paid And jobs that thou hast Gratis had Have any dent in Noddle made Let None-so-fair thy Fingers feel And all that did my Redstreak kill Crab. From thy dear Chops Such Kindness drops Still so much influence from thee rains Thou shalt command my heart and brains I 'le pay those saucy Princes for their pains I 'le give them a Posset Dare make their tricks thus at My poor Mother Woossat Little Constable Come with Painted bauble And send off the Rabble Sumptuous their Throne is but I 'le make a Carr on 't Crabs word alone is more powerful then Warrant Chorus Let the stripplings and losses be lustily curried Ay and let their good Graces To limbo to limbo to limbo be hurri'd Woossat and Crab fly out a little Spirit rises and beats off the Princes and Attendants Exeunt all Scene II. Enter Nicklas and Phillip Nick. What bloody Rogues were these And we not run each Mothers Son Had gone to Little ease Phil. A curse on thick Whoreson with the Painted Rod Sure 't was some Divel or some God Nick. Prince Phillip there was never Knight errant famous without being enchanted nor Opera notorious without Gods and Divels hast thou observ'd the numerous Caves and Walks in your dry White Cheese Phil. Ay your tickle crack Cheese Nick. In one of those Cheeses was a Knight of Wales Enchanted Seven years and through those dangerous wayes he Travel'd and destroy'd all the Heathen Knights that like little Vermine devour'd the fat of it Phil. Ah! mischief on the Heathen Knights and the Welch Knight too they tickled the Cheese so between e'm that no goodness has been in 't ever since Yet ' spight of Hell wee 'l search from Ventures Till Nymph distressed is freed from Tenters Enter Woudhamore and Sweetlips Woud Now luck Husbands or somthing to eat we beseech thee Sweet If they won't have us let 's ravish them Save your Princes still whining after your Pin-box are there no more Maids but Maukin We might e'r this have got fire out of flints Some brinded Wolf Phils Father was I wot On some she Rock relentess thee he got Woud My Nickies dam was some rough Bear And Tigre fierce was sure his sire Oh pity thy despairing Trull Sweet O let me buss my Phils fair Gull Woud Cloud not those Lanthorns clipped eyes If Nickie frowns poor Woudha dyes Pity my heart in loves fire roasting such pretty Bees sure should have no sting Sweet Thou little Princox be more mild Oh how it joyed me when it smil'd Nick. Indeed sweet Ladies
you but loose your labour Phil. You may as soon catch a Hare with a Tabar Woud Is it so Lippy we are out Gad we must be more brisk these Fellows are for the down-right way Sweet Courage then la la la come thou little pouting Villain I will order thee for thy dissembl'd cruelty Phil. Bless us what 's the matter with the Woman let me alone Sweet Dam your pettish frowns come here 's a Guinny Woud Since Nonsies devour'd by the Bear 't is no inconstancy to chuse again Nick. That whim won't pass Madam we search'd every cranny of the Beast and found no sign of her Sweet If she lives you have been constant to her too long for by the new modish Articles of faithful Love 't is no sin nor inconstancy to quit one Mrs. or Gallant for another as often as you will so you have but one at once Come come a George will gain the Lad as well as the Lady here take Money Nick. Y' are an insolent audacious hectoring Pugg and I 'le have you kick'd if you do not leave us presently Sweet Come poor Green-sickness Rascals they do not know what 's good for themselves let 's away with them Phill. Help help a Ravishment Y' are a brace of saucy foul Mouth'd Rampant Tatterdemalion Princesses and. Nick. And so we take our leave Phil. Ay and so we take our leave Exeunt Princes Never were Poor Princesses so distressed for Husbands Sweet Princess No there 's no Princely Virtue in their Blood Woud Dam'em a Prince would no more refuse a handsom Woman then a Lyon would hurt a Prince Sweet Frozen Joy Slaves let them be hang'd Woud Hang'd ' gad and so they shall for killing mother Redstreak for all they made the silly People believe 't was the Bear Sweet Let 's give notice to the Officers and have them seiz'd when they are in durance their tough stomacks will soon melt Woud We 'l do 't but stay here 's fresh game he 's right I 'le warrant I know by Enter Ieffery his leering eye Sweet Then he 's mine for I saw him first Woud Another word like that condemns thee Sweet If y' are so Tyrannical I 'le stroll alone Woud Stay the stripling has something to deliver Ieffry. Queen None-so-fair Ladies most splendiferous Intreats you both would come and dine at her house And after that great hearts to solace She 'l show you ev'ry Nook o' th' Pallace My Master loveth her most fervent I 'm Ieffry his man and your Servant Woud Oh Fortune luck our hopes are melted Sweet Were ever Princesses so jilted None-so-fair a Queen Woud Let 's send to Jaylor er'bad news spread further That surly Princess may be seiz'd for murther None-so-fair a Queen Ieffry. True I 'le assure ye Woud Come Let 's behold her Pomp and eke Luxury And let Heroick love be turn'd to Fury To Jaylor we 'l send Porter as we go by A Queen saith we 'l tickle her Toby Exeunt The Scene chang'd to None-so-fairs house Enter None-so-fair Sweetlips and Woudhamore Woud Say no more the Treat was splendid Sweet But where 's your kind good man I wonder Of all your Pomp let 's see the Founder Non. Stay you here a little tinie And I 'le go call my loving Ninny Love Honey Chuck Duch so hoe il o ho ho ho. Woud Our Sister Queen has an excellent voice to call Harvest-men to Dinner Oh Cross untoward Fate Ay that thou art Must she all pleasure have and we all smart Sweet Like Image on house-top th' hast put her And we must crawl like Ducks in gutter Woud And see her Finery Oh Rot her Such earthen Dishes such scull Bason Table so scrubb'd you may see face on Such shining Platters Shelves with lace on Such Pots so scour'd with Sand and Whiting Monarch had n'r such Kitchin to delight in Sweet Her Man her Maid her Dog her Cat too At Dinner dresser thump'd like Tattoo Strong-bub in Closet and all that too Woud We thought she'ad given Crow a pudding And Luxury is just a budding And we to see 't must come a gooding Sweet I cannot live to see this thing long A Curse on Mother Woossat's flim flam Are these the Fruits of flattering sing song Woud Well luck may turn what 's more ficle then chance Come let 's Club our Sculs and plot Vengeance Her strolling jilting tricks we'ltell'o And make her trusty Roger yellow Enter Bruin and None-so-fair He comes i'faith a witty fellow Sweet Oh happy Mauks if I could reach the rope of her heart I would starngle her with 't Woud A brave fellow he stands like a Tree and his legs look like Hercules's Pillars I 'le sell my Cloaths from my back To buy love-Pouder for his sake Sweet I 'le poyson my dear Sister Crack E'r I this Gallant thing will lack I must speak to him Servant Jack Woud Hold when I have supp'd with Margret Trantum With goodly thing you may play Rantum Till then ifacks y' are like to wantum Bru. Ladies first y' are very wellcom and secondly I hope to give you all content For Sisters sake my beautious Gipsie On whom Prince Bruin casteth Sheeps eye You shall bouze gratis till y' are tipsie On stately shank rest tyr'd ham trulls And you shall see my tricks and gambols Pisco flisco whisco fibribisco fosco posco sebosco larasco velasco trumdle fundle bundle hundle tantarra dundle surgito surgitote The Scene drawn and many Statues disocver'd in several postures Woud Olippy what stone works here Bru. He that looks so like a despairing lover is Peter Whiffle eldest Son of the Countess of Puddle dock he espoused the Puissant Landabridas Queen of Sluts and hang'd himself because she would not wear fine cloaths and have a Gallant Woud Alas poor Peter I would not have been so unkind as Queen Lamberdas Bru. Those two are Polynicky Nicampoops two valorous Princes of Fairy-land they div'd through Apivel to Hell for the love of Piss-kitchin Daughter of King Easiepate passed through Fire and Water without spoiling their Cloaths or Perriwiggs and are now good sufficient House-keepers in Elizium That 's Rablays the grave French Philosopher that grew mad with Writing the second part Tom Thum in Heroick meetre Woud Well he did his indeavour though he missed his Province Sweet Oh Woudha Woudha if this Image were in a warm Bed I 'le be hang'd if I did not fetch life in him and make him wagg Bru. When a house is on fire the Lame Sickly and Lazy frisk as if they had a swarm of Hornets about them Green Sickness Girle can lift huge trunck But Blade with Loves flame scorch'd and shrunk Will do much more for charming Punk These stones compell'd by Amorous Bruin Shall Sing and Caper to some Tuin Mark how dull Statue kicks and Winces And all for love of Nonesy Princess Bruin Sings like a Walloon and Playes on a Cimball and all the Images move Bru. Now you shall hear the Images sing in
praise of the most Heroick and Magnificient Sciences of Wenching and Drinking A Ditty fit for Sphears and Quires of Cupid when Gods are deaf and Princes grow stupid My dear Nonesy set them in the way SONG Let Taffy go seek for his bliss in a Leek And Teag in hot Isquebagh flobber Jocky be doing with Oatcakes and Sowing And sup up their brave Bonny clabber Chorus But let Misses and Gallants make use of their Talents To be Wise is to love and be drunk For drink and that same will get you a name When your healths and Estates are all sunck Let sullen old Men keep their beesom Beards clean Let Slaves strive for Honour and Riches Let Widgeons debate our Religion and State And Matrons be sober as Witches Cho. But let Misses c. Let 's drink and be clapp'd till our Shin-bone sore scrap'd And gems deck our faces all over Till Palsies and Cramps make our eyes shine like Lamps For such is the true drunken lover Cho. Yet let Misses c. A Warlike Dance and then Exeunt all but None-so-fair Sweetlips and Woudhamore None Now Sisters did not I rise with my back upwards met this what do'e call him Woud Ay! what do'e call him indeed I 'le be hang'd if he does not deal with the Divel Second me Lippy Sweet No no the Divel he is n't so good a Scholar 'T is some pitiful juggling Jack-pudding some strolling Tumbler Woud When he grows a little weary of you he 'l strip you and leave you nay say y' are oblig'd to him for teaching you a modish Trade by which you may come to keep your Coach if you have any Fortune None I won't despair since the Proverb 's on my side Fools have Fortune and Cracks have luck I can pretend to both by vertue of my Education Woud If his Highness were true and trusty why should he hide his Title None Oh say no more I tremble all over Enter Ieffry Ieffry. Madam great Sisters must be packing My Master finds some Trenchers lacking Nonsy How Royal Sisters grown light finger'd Of Princesses was e'r so foul a thing heard Richer Goods in house could not be chosen Odznigs they cost two groats a dozen Woud How steal your Trenchers Traps marry come up here I find we should pay sauce if we should sup here Sweet 'T is not gentilely done Faith Sister Nonsy Woud And if we had you out i'gad we 'd trounce ye Non. Minxes cease your idle prittle prattle And render back my Goods and Chattle Wond Minxes a ha let 's give her battle Sweet We 'l thump bewitching eyes black and blue Put tricks on Daughters of King Andrew They fight Fnter Bruin Ieffry. Great Master comes with arms a kimboe Bru. Take filching Madams hence to Limbo Hence or thy self shalt strait for them go Wouda Must we that have sent Princess thither go our selves Hear me Justice if there 's any Let 's not be long without company Bru. Away with them Sweet As by 's own Bull was kill'd Phalaris W' are sent to Prison by Will. Harris Exeunt Jeffry Sweetlips and Woudha Bru. This was an Intrigue of love and state poor Ladies they stole no Trenchers but I heard Baggages contrive To undermine Prerogative And to seduce if they were able My Importance comfortable Before I 'm weary of Bauble Nonsy To Prison sent for filching Trencher-Plate When we had none in house Oh too too late I do begin to smell a Rat. Ah wo is me poor little mouse Bru. Why frowns my beautious dear Thy Forheads muffl'd in black pouts Like warlike Steed in Fun'ral clouts That did eftsoons both prance and neigh And briskly fell to Oats and hay As if he promised a fair day But strait in black dog'd masters Course My dear looks sad as morning Horse Nonsy Poh you prate and prate but you don't love me Bru. Love thee ungrateful Imp Ah curse on thy jealous Noddle another word I 'le squeeze thee like a Custard Devour thee without Salt or Mustard Ha my Princess sniv'ling who has disbused thee Pydy tell me if I have ought can give thee ease I swear 't is thine now by this Cheese the Oath of Gods Non. Enough and if 't is Truth tell me thy name Oh charming youth Bru. Heavens Powers Oh hold Non. Nay nay you have sworn I must have all the Secrets that are thine Bru. Must I my Secretest Secret then resign Non. Why should you keep your Secret and yet take mine Bru. Prythee Nonsy ask any thing else Non. No nothing Bru. The Devil take me if Nonsy Is this your love miserable unhappy Princess perjur'd dissembling men before you had me you swore any thing You use poor Women as Children do Bubbles you spare for no water of Sighs nor black Soap of Oaths till you have blown us up with the Reed of your love and then you cast us off to break in the wide World Ah! that ever I poor vertuous Lady should live to see this day Oh! ho ho. Bru. Well if like a wall-ey'd Hare you won't see right before you but run into the noose take your ill fortune Non. Ay let me have it Bru. Shall I speak Non. Ay ay I say Bru. Then I shall you say Non. Odslifelykins ay I say Bru. Consider Non. I 'le be hang'd first when did a longing Woman consider Non. What what Oh quickly Bru. I am Non. Heart blood and bones what are you Bru. Yet be wise Nan. I will not be wise nor hear nor see nor speak till I know Bru. I am Deval Non. Bless us all Bru. That French Prince of the Padders that was thought to be hang'd I have liv'd ever since in this disguise because I would not quite break the kind Ladies hearts to see me hang'd twice But now must fly for thy folly least I am caught And pawn my pretty Nonesy for the shot Exit Bruin claps on the Bears skin and flies over the Stage The Scene chang'd to a Tavern Enter two Drawers 1. I come I come did you call Sir ha where 's the Gentleman that pays the reckning look to the door Harry 2. What 's the matter 1. A Crack a Crack to pay here in the Flower Pot 2. Eleven and three pence a Pox I know her she plies at the Pagean Non. O gen'rous Youth speak not untruth I am a Princess of King Andrews stock in sooth Right Valiant Knights spare my Honour and do what you please but use your Victory with discretion for Fortunes Wheel is still turning 1. Knights Honour and Fortune ' gad she 's mad 2. Didst find any Honour about her 1. No no Honour If women have any such thing they hide it so cunningly that none can find it Harry thou knowest we melted down a Silver Tankard to sodder up Cisses crack'd Honour let 's swear she stoll it and clap a strong House upon her back to keep her warm 2. But first let 's strip her come strip strip 1. Ay ay this is she stoll
our Silver Tankard come strip Non. Oh the lovely Prince 1. How the Prince ' gad she speaks Treason lock her up and call the Constable away Exeunt Drawers Non. Oh my dear Prince why wouldst thou fly hence and let thy loving Romp be stripp'd from all her Pomp. Sure in my mind 't was much unkind To shark away and leave your love behind What ever now is thy design I 'm sure when Nonsie's dead he 'l whine Crost love and grief to make an end ' o I 'le break my neck out at a Window King Andrews Ghost rises Crown'd and Redstreak with her head in her hand attended with two Spirits Song Oh stay thy foul and bad intent Dame chance doth smile and frown When heels more high then head are sent That 's upward that was down And None-so-fair shall have her Bear K. And. Shall have her Bear Redstr Shall have her Bear Chorus And None-so-fair shall have her Bear And none shall have the sweet Beast but her Woossat will come for and to chide From mischief fly a main For all must obey that are ty'd Till they are freed again Cho. And None-so-fair c. The Song ended they Vanish Non. Why should I fly dear Dad and eke Ghost of Redstreak I 've nothing stoll upon my Soul Else wou'd I n'r might speak Woossat flies down in her Chariot Wooss. Dares None-so-fair with eyes of Cat Look on Queen hag the dread Woossat So Impudent not make a Cursy Bend stubborn hams or'gad I 'le force ye Non. What have I done dread Witch should seeking Ruin Wooss. Debauch'd my Son my first begotten Bruin Taught envious men to burn my Thatch Nail Horse-shoe under hatch Nay strove by your enchanting eye To be a greater Witch then I. Nonsy If Beauty be fault in me 't is Heavn's decree I do not paint truly as you may see He took my pretty thing for his Rantidla I did not ask him first indeed la. Wooss. Dare's Minx to prate to me so proudly Thinking to choak my hate with loudy No thou shalt never get whole hence But to Prison Volens Nolens To dye for Treason and Insolence Woossat flies away Enter Drawers and Whistles 1. Draw Princess so hoe Princess If you have ought to say dear Crack be short Black Guard won't stay Nonsy Oh well a day I must away to Pluto's Court Oh State of Greatness variable Oh luck of Princess miserable END of the IV. ACT. ACT V. SCENE I. A common Prison confused A great noise heard Singing Shreeking Groaning Roaring and Ratling of Chains Enter many common Prisoners among which Tagrag Brazen-nose Tatterd-hoe Shrubs-hall Bull-barrow bringing in the Princess and Princesses All cry out Garnish garnish garnish Tag Come disburse disburse Nick. As I 'm a true Prince our Exchecquers were rob'd by these miscreant Knights that brought us to this Fortress Tag Strip strip then and go like an Eastern Monarch half naked Braz Ay ay cast off superfluous Trappings they 'l harbour vermine to destroy the Microcosm Bulbar Come my dainty Damzels you must pay for Entrance too into our thrice nasty and right dread Society Tag Skink away sheer drink doe hear not a rag of Provaunt and then we 'l have a Song and after that erect our mock-Court of Justice and cast your Destinies Cheâ—â— up if you dye like Birds on Trees you shall be cut dowâ— like Flowers and your Funerals shan't cost you 2 d. you 〈◊〉 be intom'd in a Ditch on the publick charge Come a Song a Song Princess Nonsy put in 〈◊〉 Treble at Rome be a Roman Song Be jovial be jovial each Lad Great Dukes of the Dungeon and Knights of the Pad Now the Iaylor from hence is We are all great Princes Let 's sing let 's laugh let 's drink and be mad Chorus Along and along mirth have it ' s swing For older or younger there ' s none can live longer Then Fortune is pleased and the King Then let 's merrily sing and dance in a string Then let 's merrily sing and dance in a string This Pallace and all is our own Our lodging 's provided the Rent is paid down Every Shop 's our Exchecquer Each pâ—rse is our debtor We alwayes gain who ever 's undone Cho. Along c. The Treasures the Husband does lend Treats on his doxy we briskly do spend Ay and when we are chain'd here She steals the remainder And kindly comes to visit her Friend Cho. A long c. A Dance perform'd by Prisoners under Gallos's Tag Now let 's Adjourn to our Sessions house and bring our new Prisoners to Trial. Exeunt all but Princes and Princesses Phil. A pox o' your zeeking Ventures c ham as dumpish a new shrouded Tree What course must we take now Nick. Course why I think 't is better to be freed and â—arry the Princesses then be hang'd Phil. Why I think zoo too but then who must be hang'd for killing Mother Redstreak Justice must be satisfi'd Giok Justice may be better satisfied with Marriage then hanging for 't is now the greater punishment Phil. Have you any ' Tority vor what you zay Nick. ' Tority no but I have reason is not it better to go to Heaven in a string then be a Gally Slave and be chain'd to one seat all ones life Phil. Then do thee go to Heaven in a string and let me be Marri'd Nick. Thank you for that 'faith what a well meaning Fool is this I tell thee 't was not Redstreak but the Bear we kill'd Phil. The Bear Odzboars 't was as errant a Woman as my mother and all the neighbours know she was right Nick. Then she was Enchanted Phil. Enchanted Ah if this should be a lye we are bravely serv'd Nick. Why may not a Beast be turn'd to a Woman we see Women every day turn'd to Beasts Woud Y' are rightly serv'd for a couple of Dancer Nos'd Princes as you are if y' had Marri'd us you might both have been King Andrews by this time Non. Why has our poor sneaking Daddy kick'd up his heels Ah dismall merry Tragedy I thought somthing would follow when I saw his Ghost and heard the Circkets sing so dolefully Woud Your tricks broak his heart for when he heard we were sent to Prison for stealing Trenchers he sign'd eat a great piece of Bread and Butter and departed as quietly as any sucking Pig The Scene drawn discovers the Court of Rogues with attendants Phil. Stint stint the Cwourtz zet what must I zay Prince Nick Nick. Why say she kill'd her self volens nolens in her own defence Phil. Bolens nolens a pox on your bolens nolens Tag Bulbarrow set the Prisoners to the Bar. Read their Indictment Braz No no let 's over-rule that formality and proceed to Sentence Tag First for fashions sake though we have most prudently determin'd to hang them whatever they can say ask them the usual question Shrubshall Guilty or not guilty why don't you answer Tag Give 'em time I know my