THE PLEASURES OF Love and Marriage A POEM In Praise of the FAIR SEX In Requital for The Folly of Love and some other late Satyrs on WOMEN LONDON Printed for H. N. and are to be Sold by R. Baldwin at the Oxford-Arms in Warwick-Lane 1691. Epistle to STELLA 'T Is well Dearest Stella that the lewd World and your Astrophel are not much accquainted For should they once know how long he has Lov'd and how long he has been Happy and yet that he still continues to Love as well and be Happy as ever they 'd certainly Point at him in the Streets and cry there goes that Monster of a Constant Lover Fools and Wretches How can you and I at the same time Despise and Pity ' em They han't Souls great enough for a constant Passion and are no more capable of relishing so noble a Joy than a rude Peasant can the sweetest Delicacies of Wit and Musick The Wondrous weighty Excuse they commonly make use of to cloak their Perfidy and Folly is that forsooth they can find nothing in the Fair Sex that 's Worthy their continued Adorations I 'll not deny that many perhaps all of the Beau's acquaintance may be just such Persons as he Describes all Women for we may safely affirm no others would Ambition the Honour of knowing him However Sympathy should one would think keep him a little closer to what is so extreamly like his dear Self But the mischief is like other Persons of his understanding he must have every day a new Toy or Baby to divert him or else no quiet is to be expected And 't is with him too like them no sooner is a new play-thing brought within his reach but the old must be immediately thrown away or knockt o' th' Head But I have forgot I am speaking to my Stella not to them tho I have not much more to say to either only that I have endeavour'd to do her Lovely Sex Justice in the following pages against the weak Malice and Impudence of some late Scriblers that I have in the Draught I have here attempted of their Perfections taken quite contrary Measures to those of the Painter who from all the Beauties of his Country made one Venus since from one of the Graces I have described all the rest and that Stella need do no more than consult her Glass to learn who that Person is besides whom none shall ever have any room in the Heart of Her Happy and Constant Adorer ASTROPHEL Stella askt Astrophel what Love was and for what Reason he Lov'd her Who made this following Answer LOVE is not Wounds nor Darts nor Fire Nor an unbridled wild Desire That never holds which runs too fast What 's Violent can never last Love 's not a thing that 's bought or Sold It thinks no Dross so base as Gold Intrest and Fear alike does hate Superior unto all but Fate It is not Lust for Brutes would be If so as much in Love as we Who neither Shape nor Beauty mind But dully must Preserve their Kind Where shall this Stranger then be found In what fantastic Fairy-ground Is it a true or Fancy'd bliss Speak he that knows it what it is 'T is when two Kindred-Souls agree 'T is Vertues sweetest Harmony Vertue the Spring of true Content The Basis Wit the strong Cement 'T is made of tender moving Sighs Soft grasping Hands kind melting Eys Magic which all our Cares beguiles Enchanting Glances charming Smiles Short Tremblings which no fear discover The Guiltless Blush o' th' happy Lover These are th' Attendants which declare The little Winged God is there If this Description won't suffice I 'll read the rest in Stella's Eys That the exactest Map will prove And therefore Stella I must ever Love THE PLEASURES OF LOVE c. DIvinest Sex compos'd of purer Mold We only are the Ore but you the Gold How shall I justly Treat so vast a Theme Where meanly to Commend were to Blaspheme How shall I give your Virtues half their due In Living Verse and Numbers worthy you Fair Stella thy soft Sexes Pride and Joy The noblest Trophy of the winged Boy Bright Charmer of my Soul whose very Name Inspires Delight eternal as our Flame No longer I 'll the noble Task refuse If with one gentle Smile you 'll Tune my Muse. The kindly Spring does Natures Face restore And dress a new but Stella can do more Where nothing Gay e're flourisht spite of Fate Her powerful Smile can what she please Create As Thebes thy wondrous Walls did once aspire At the command of great Amphion's Lyre And now the Inspiration does begin I feel I rising feel the God within A kindly Warmth which does with that agree When first my charming Conqu'ress wounded me So near a kin are Love and Poetry Some Angel has with Nectar toucht my Tongue As Spencer's when his Rosaline he sung Snarl on this Age the next just praise will give And this as long as the Fair Sex shall live When Man did first from Native Turf arise He all around him cast his wondring Eys Absolute Monarch then himself might call And under his great Maker Lord of all The Royal Lyon willing Homage paid The mighty Elephant Obeysance made Ambition cou'd not find a thing to ask And Pleasure had as difficult a Task His most Luxurious wish cou'd seek no more When all Fair Eden was his own before Yet did he sad and Melancholy rove By each clear stream thro' ev'ry lonely Grove And thought he wanted something still to Love When to the Christal Brooks he did repair To view in vain his watry Image there He saw the Amorous Palms outstretching wide Their Leavy Hands to reach the distant side No Fruit they bore unless their Like they found But dropt their Baren Blossoms on the Ground If to the Woods if to the Plains he went What e're he meets augments his Discontent Here Faithful Turtles Court and there he sees Thro' all the Grove in all the Shrubs and Trees The Feather'd People lodg their Families The bolder Male abroad for Food does roam And leaves th' Industrious Female close at home But every ev'ning returns to wonted Rest And Perches near her in her Downy Nest Like seeks its Like of every Kind ' s a Pair He saw no Single fablous Phaenix there Nor that for which much more he 'd blest his Fate Which all besides enjoy'd a gentle Mate Weary with seeking what cou'd not be found He throws himself upon the Verdant Ground There sadly lean'd on his kind Mothers Breast He with a Sigh compos'd his Eys to rest Where in a wondrous Vision 's mystick Shade He saw that glorious Creature Woman Made How fine a Turn appear'd in every part The Beauteous Master-piece of Heavenly Art All the exact Proportions sweeter seem'd And Man himself above himself esteem'd Far more of Angel in her Face and Eys The fittest Tenant she for Paradice He wak'd and claspt the Air she from him flies Flies yet
looks back so soon that Art she knew And with a Smile invites him to pursue On rusht the Eager Youth to Bliss unknown And quickly thought the Beauteous Prey his own Till with a Frown his boldness she reproves At his Fair Captives Feet he kneels and Loves He Loves she Grants and Nature smiles to see In her best works so sweet a Harmony The Groves all Whisper and the Birds all Sing Murmur each Chrystal Brook and Silver Spring No Wind but amorous Zephyrs Spicy Breez Which into gentle Motion Fans the Waves and Trees What if this Calm was ah too quickly past This more than Mortal Bliss too great to last If the false Serpent Woman did deceive And flily ruin'd all the World in Eve 'T was her ungrateful Lover let her stray Through an unknown and a Forbidden way Careless what Company she chose or Place A true Forefather of his Perjur'd Race When Surfeited with too much happiness His Woman soon discover'd the Disease Would be a Goddess not to know but Please Thus when at last by Hellish Policy She Pluckt and Tasted that unlucky Tree Without her Adam she refus'd the Throne And scorn'd to be a Deity alone The choicest Fruit she in her Bosome stor'd And bore with greedy steps to her Lov'd Lord. More Guilty far than his mistaken Bride He knew the fatal Price yet Eat and Dy'd He Dy'd tho' favour'd with a long Reprieve Her Love another Paradice cou'd give And made him ev'n when Faln content to Live Hence sprung a Race so very Fair and Good No wonder Heaven was left and Angels Woe'd Those Sons of God in all their Pomp of Light Confess'd they found a Mortals Eys as bright What foolish Man despis'd with Joy Embrac'd Mended his humble Stock and Heroes rais'd In Politics and Architecture Skill'd Men Boast they Empires raise and Cities Build Monsters and Thieves are to Destruction hurl'd By them 't is they pretend to Rule the VVorld When VVomen kept it in its constant state While they their first fair Copy imitate Encourage Man in all his sweat and toils And richly pay his Pains with Love and Smiles 'T is VVoman makes the ravish'd Poet Write 'T is Lovely VVoman makes the Soldier Fight The Merchant Sails to China or Peru Farther than Janson or Mercator knew And Caravans through Sandy Desarts rome But to the same account their Labours coam To bring a Mistress Silks or Spices home If them with welcom Smiles she 's pleas'd to meet Down go their Gold and Jewels at her Feet Should that soft Sex refuse the World to Bless Twou'd soon be Chaos all or VVilderness A Herd without Civility or Rules A Drove of Drinking Cheating Fighting Fools All Mad to kick each other off the Stage Their very Race destroy'd in one short Age. 'T was Beauty first made Laws did Monsters bind Reform'd the VVorld and civiliz'd Mankind Taught us at first to turn the Fruitful Soyl And with glad Harvest recompence the Toyl Fair Ceres gave us Corn Minerva Oyl For Brutal Force which oft true worth supplies The other Sex may that Monopolize But which is the best Title Bold or VVise Presence of Mind Invention quick and free Unforc'd and Natural Ingenuity Foresight and Caution Ills unseen to ward Ready for th' worst and still upon their Guard Here Man must own tho scarce without a Blush They rather do excel than rival us As useful and more nimble all their Pow'rs Their Judgment sharp and earlier Ripe than ours Of Fancy they 've an unexhausted Mine A Quarry where the richest Jewels shine Their VVit is all their own and all Divine Who has not heard of great Orinda's Fame Pride of her own and our vain Sexes shame To every Sister Muse a darling Name Her self a Muse. Whom late Posterity just Praise shall give Scarce Cowleys Sacred VVorks will longer live Nor had soft Afra less Immortal prov'd Had that fond Sappho kept her Heart unmov'd And had she not too many Phaons Lov'd Whether with fair Oenonoe she deplor'd The broken Faith of her ungrateful Lord Or in the Tragic Buskin swept the Stage Or in sharp Satyr lasht th' obnoxious Age Or aims at something more Sublime and High When Caesars Conquer or when Caesars Dye Till we her Match can find her Fate we 'll mourn Light fall the Dust on gentle Afra's Vrn What! Woman Wit some VVitty Spark will say Egad not till sh' has Read my last New Play The Dullest things on Earth below a Pen Heavy as Priests or old fat Aldermen Yes Witty Sir the Bays so much their due They 'll wear in spite of Impudence and you If Wit be Nature's writing Copy fair Where shall we find it neater Drawn than there Shew me a Fop who seven long years in France Has learnt to play the Fool and Cringe and Dance Can teach 'em the sweet Arts of Complaisance Their Sex the speediest best Instructions lends The best of Tutors and the best of Friends Man 's like a Lute unstrung until he be By Conversation turn'd to Harmony And that 's it self if Woman from it stays As dull as when an ill Musician Plays Woman 's the Salt of Life without a Grain Of which attempts for Mirth were all in vain Where e're she treads like Sunshine guilds the ground And throws an air of Life and Pleasure round A Sympathetic Fire whose very sight Clears all the Rust of Man and makes him Bright But they a hundred thousand knicknacks wear Exalted Top-knot Christians now they are And grow almost as Proud as Lucifer We none wou'd wrong but give the Devil his due Suppose for once your Accusation true Where did they learn their Pride unless from you If they 're infected 't is with your Disease Unless fantastick they can never please Is Pride then seated in the Mind or Dress Have you not often seen if you 'd confess A humble Pomp and a proud Nastiness With what shou'd they adorn themselves and how Must Mother Eves thin Fig-leaves only do Or may they wear a Leathern-Apron too Or dress'd in honest Home-spun Country Gray If you your selves know what will please you say That all the Sex may instantly obey Nothing alas which feeble Art can lend Can unsophisticated Beauty mend Is Phaebus by the Clouds he wears more bright Vnarm'd that Sex most dangerously fight How well becomes a Horse his noble Pride Since every Beggar else would up and ride That sometimes will instead of Virtue serve 'T is a just Sense of what their Sex deserve But yours more unexcusable will prove They only love themselves you think that you they love Nor are you more uncivil or unjust In fixing here the ugly Brand of Lust. Those whom deserved slights and losses vex Invent new Sins and throw 'em on the Sex More monstrous Crimes than e're Hot Asia knew Tho if 't were possible they shou'd be true Italy equals and exceeds 'em too Whose thrifty Wickedness the Sex forsakes And of those Beauteous Fields a Sodom
makes When tame Vesuvius shall thy Thunder rise And purge those foul infected Earth and Skies Thy Streams beyond th' affrighted Tiber shine And justly punish hotter Flames than thine if any left reserve 'em still for those Who are the Lovely Sexes causeless Foes How many a faithful Wife and gen'rous Maid VVhen to a Ravishers hot Lust betray'd Have gladly fled to Deaths cold Arms for aid How bravely cou'd the Fair Lucretia Dye Rather than she 'd survive her Chastity But ah she did the fatal Stab misplace Her part sh' had acted with a better Grace To 've Kill'd the Tyrant in his loath'd Embrace There left him in his own Hot Gore to role And at the wound let out his Lustful Soul In vain the Spark may-grin in vain he 'll Swear Such Miracles are Ceas'd or never were And that no Woman he cou'd ever find But if the opportunity were kind Wou'd be so too Perhaps he once is right He ne're Assaults but where the Walls are slight True Bullies will with none but Cowards Fight A Virtuous Woman values Fame too high To let the bold Assailant come so nigh The Fort 's half gone that Treats with th' Enemy That Town is won which e're th' Attack is made Has lost its Counterscarp and Palizade When the White-Flag you see at first hung out You 're wondrous Daring then and wondrous Stout When once you but discover those within By their faint Fire have a low Magazine A slender stock of Chastity in store Your Oaths and Curses then like Canon roar You storm like Devils and cry a Whore a Whore If you a Virtuous VVoman tempt in vain Who still repells you with deserv'd disdain Who all your weak designs secure can mock Firm seated on an Alablaster Rock Her Snowy Bosom not more pure and fair Than the white Guest that still inhabits there Repulst at last with just Despair and Shame Your Poisnous Tongues at least will blast her Fame If her you can't you 'll ruin her Good Name And to th' ill-natur'd World with Oaths protest All her Resistance was design or Jest You found her VVoman just like all the rest But say what VVoman search all ages o're Debaucht a Man search Hell's unnumber'd store Who learnt it not from that false Sex before Who can they any easy Fool Debauch Most generously undo and then reproach And like th' Inhabitants of endless Flame Over the wretch insult they helpt to Damn To whom the Perjur'd Villains Kneel'd and Swore But a few days perhaps or hours before Like a true Spaniel lickt her Hand or Glove And Vow'd eternal Constancy and Love Marriage is a dull Ceremony made By hungry Priests of old to mend their Trade 'T is Love's the thing what matter for the Name Cou'd they suspect their Faith as not the same Or when they 'd all the Stakes they 'd not play out Can you be so ungenerous and unkind Then with ten thousand Oaths his Faith he 'll bind Perjur'd and Damn'd so often and so deep The Devil himself th' Accounts can hardly keep Thus silly Flies by Cobweb-vows betray'd Their Virtue lose and lose the name of Maid But then how soon another Face is shown E're the third night she 's stale and nauseous grown The Cur has now some other Games to play No more her Whistle or her Call 't obey H' intends but shakes his Tayl and runs away To Brother Brutes will of her Favours boast And Write her Name on every Pissing-Post Who wonders if a Shop-Lift hates the Jayl Or strolling Gipsies at the Justice Rail If an old Vsurer 't wou'd not well content To hear a Bill was past for Four per Cent And if he all berogu'd the Parliament And who that knows the World will wonder more That those at Matrimony rail who Whore Call the poor Husband Munkey Ass or Dog And jear his Neck worn with the Wedlock-Clog While freely they o're tops of Houses strolling Venture their Bones each Night a Caterwouling Besides a Ridg or into Chimnies peep Through Cellar or through Garret-Windows creep Expose themselves to Falls or Guns or Traps And twenty other unforeseen Mishaps All in the hot pursuit of VVhores and Claps Ruin their Health their Honour and Estate To Buy Repentance at so dear a rate For when Old Age with Palsy'd steps draws on Some ten perhaps or twenty Years too soon And long e're this the last dear Acre gon Shew me a Thing whom more the World despise Or more a VVretch than the old Lecher is ' Twou'd even a common Womans passion move To see th' Old Doating Epicure make Love Restrain her strugling Laughter she that can A Lousy Gowty spawling poor Old-Man All over Lame his Hips his Hands his Feet Fit for no other but a Winding Sheet True cries the Spark but I have time to spare Am Young and Free and unconfin'd as Air I'll Drink full Bowls of Pleasure while I may And treat Life kindly since so short its stay And sip the sweets and bask in the warm Beams of day Whilst i 'm awake I 'll to my self be kind And Reason too for all that I can find Since all 's a long a dark eternal sleep behind Sir are you sure of that Nay never Swear You think none e're come thence that once were there How should you know it then Deny it not By night and sleep you mean you know not what Well if their shou'd as the dull Clergy prate Be any Future World or After State Sure that good Being who did all Create Rewards and Pains distributes justly there And Man for necessary Ills will spare Nor will his Punishment be too Severe For what 's more hard to vanquish than reprove The natural Fault if such it be of Love Are we into our Ruin thus decoy'd VVas Nature made only to be destroy'd For what is Good if not to be Enjoy'd And what is Good or where unless 't is Common And shew me any Good on Earth like VVoman So now the Quarrel 's plainer than before 'T is with the Virtuous VVoman not the VVhore Well Argu'd for a Beast we needs must own To whom no Principle but Sense is known They neither Number nor Distinguish can Those are the Sole Prerogatives of Man But rush with undiscerning Rage like you On the first Object that presents to view Themselves with Shape or Beauty ne're perplex But just like you ' r in Love with all the Sex Thus they but those with reasoning minds endu'd Suspend a while when a Good Object 's view'd And ask if a Proportionable Good Sense is enough where Senses only Woe But Reasoning Lovers must have Reason too No wonder if the Body quickly cloy But Minds are infinite and like themselves Enjoy There you may Travel still from Pole to Pole Where Winds can carry or where Waves can roll For all the World is Pictur'd in a Soul An unexhausted sweet Variety That ne're degenerates to Satiety But out-lasts Time and measures with Eternity