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love_n john_n sir_n thomas_n 6,846 5 10.2241 5 true
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ID Title Author Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) STC Words Pages
A09194 Coach and sedan, pleasantly disputing for place and precedence the brewers-cart being moderator. Peacham, Henry, 1576?-1643? 1636 (1636) STC 19501; ESTC S110325 24,532 56

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best to give co●te●t To the meanest of this rascall ●ablement Which I pronouncing distinctly and with a good grace I was mervailously applauded by clapping of hands of the multitude maides tossed apples to mee and our Schoole-masters wife offered me her bottle of Rosa-solis to drink and I well remember too at that time a Knight of our Countrie who this last yeere married his Mothers Chamber-maide and birladie maintaines her in her Coach with foure horses plaid the foole most admirably yea I knew a Lord who journeying in the Countrey would leape out of his coach to play a game at stoole-ball with Country Wenches and one time above the rest when a Gentleman of his told him it was past three a clock and that they had yet twenty miles to ride hee called for a watch and set it backe to twelve now said my Lord wee shall have time enough I will have the other game And one thing Coach I am sure of it was never good world with us in the Country since you and your fellowes have so multiplied the Devill of good house is any where kept where you have to doe and I have observed where a Coach is appendant but to two or three hundred pounds a yeere marke it the doggs of that house are as leane as rakes you may tell all their ribbs lying by the fire and Tom-a-Bedlam may sooner eate his horne then get it fill'd with small dri●ke and for his old almes of Bacon there i● no hope in the world I may tell you some houses of thousands by the yeere are become little better when a poore labouring man that hath perhaps liv'd all his time in the parish shall hardly get a loade or two of Hay to keepe his Cow al winter but the Baily tells him his Lady cannot spare it from her owne Ki●e and Coach-horses and now adaies wee must pay two shillings for a pecke of Oate-meale which wee were wont to have for sixteene or eighteene pence and all long of Coach-horses before Coach you came into request one of these houses maintained sixteene or twenty Propper tall fellowes to march from the Kitchin to their Masters table in their blew coates and Cognisances every man carrying a dish of good meat either boyld or roast now the case is so altered that the Coach-man alone must take upon him three or foure of the prime Offices about the house without dores hee is Gentleman of my Ladies horse and Coach-man within hee is Butler and chamberlaine and if strangers come perhaps some poore boy of the Towne is sent for to assist him for the scraping of Trenchers and emptying chamber-pots who within a day or two must returne to the place from whence he came and if Coach your man have ever beene versed in brewing or baking hee must undertake that too I heard my boy who is now at Cambridge say out of Aristotle which is well observed in your great houses now adayes frustra fit per plur● quod fieri p●test per p●●●ci●ra And by the Logicall fallacie Compositionis et divisionis they will make two eggs pa●se for three and many times turne away their cooke for roasting a whole brest of Mu●ton to break-fast when he should have roasted but halfe as a great man both of ranke and revenue some one or two and thirty yeeres since set his cooke in the stocks at Huntingdon upon the very same occasion as the cooke fast by the heeles told me himselfe all this Coach I can impute to none other then your selfe and your appurtenances nay let a man have never so earnest an occasion of businesse with your Knight or Ladie at your houses let him come at dinner time hee may knocke his heart out ere any body will heare and indeed to speake truely I blame them not for Venter non habet aures saith the old Proverbe I knew a Knight an especial friend of mine of himselfe a free and and a Noble Gentle-man● who lay sicke of a Burning-feaver or Causos as the Phisicians call it and a very skilfull Gentleman both a Phisitian and a Chyrurgian being sent unto him by a Iustice of Peace his loving friend and neighbour by in the countrey who much tendred his health the Physitian came at night wringing wet in snow and raine when his Ladie was at supper where hee continued knocking and could not be let in but was faine that night to take his supper and lodging at the next Ale-house in the towne and before morning the good Gentleman was dead whom blood-le●ting the present remedie in hot-feavers that night by all likelyhood might have saved hee being in his best yeeres strong and able of body of sanguine complexion and his spirits not yet spent or decayed by the vigor of the disease and most lamentable it is to see upon fasting-dayes or in time of Lent how closely the poore Eele Haddock and Herring are imprisoned and so strongly kept up within barred and bolted gates that if a man would give ●ever so much as but to speak in private with any one of them or whisper in his eare hee should not bee admitted And now I speake of whispering I remember a good fellow of Goose-toft neere Boston came to a Fish-monger in that market who had Mackerels to sell a fish very rare in those parts and taking up a Mackerell in his hand whispered in the Mackerills eare then he laid the Mackerills mouth to his eare which the Fish-monger observing said Friend doe you make a foole of my fish and of your selfe too No said the fellow I make bold but to aske him when hee was at Sea and hee tells mee not these three weekes but this by the way And Coach twice or thrice a yeare you must needes make a boone voyage to London with your Ladie under a cullor to bee new cullourd guilded or painted covered seated shod or the like when her errand indeede is as one saith well speaking to such Ladies as love to visit the Citie To see what fashion most is in request How is this Countesse that Court Ladie drest While yee your beauteous faces so disguise Wee neither see your fore-head nor your eyes That woont the seates and Indices to bee Of Spirit Love and ingenuitie Like Dutch boores houses where the straw hangs over The low thatch'd ●aves doth th● windowes cover Hence it happens Coach that by your often ambling to London Sir Thomas or Sir Iohn sinks as in a quick-sand by degrees so deep into the Merchant Mercer or Taylors booke that hee is up to the eares ere hee be aware neither can he be well drawne out without a teame of Vsurers and a craftie Scrivener to bee the fore-horse or the present sale of some land so that wise-men suppose this to bee one maine and principall reason why within a Co●ch journey of a day or two from the Citie so many faire inheritances as have beene purchased by Lord-Majors Aldermen Merchants and other rich Citizens