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A71304 The life and death of the merry deuill of Edmonton With the pleasant prancks of Smug the smith, Sir Iohn, and mine host of the George, about the stealing of venison. By T.B. T. B. (Thomas Brewer) 1631 (1631) STC 3719; ESTC S104669 29,733 52

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of Chestone thinking them to be spirits and how afterward he frighted them by his suddaine appearance SMug on a time as he was steali●g venis●n hearing the Kéeper in the Pa●ke got vp into a trée to keepe out of sight till hee were past by him which hee did Scapi●g the Keepers eye and so consequently his hand very hansomely But sitting there a little while prying and péeping betweene the branches like an Owle in an Iuy bush to see if the coast were cleare he spied the Mother Nun of Chestone with three or foure young ones attired in white long robbes with railes and tippets as they vsed to weare comming towards him with a little bell ru●g before them sprinkling holy water and praying vpon their beades very deuoutly withall the circumstances of that ceremony they vsed when they receiued a sister into that holy order The very sight of these holy creatures made Smug quiuer quake and shake like the leaues of the tree hee sate vpon for he thought verily they had beene Spirits Furies Fiends or Hobgoblins that had come thether a purpose to carry him away for stealing of Uenison but they poore soules ment no more harme to him then he to them but past by not casting so much as a looke vpon him When they were past him his heart that till then was as heauie as a poore pittifully paind spittle-mans was as light as a Morris dauncers And very lightly from knot to knot got he from the toppe of the trée thi●ki●g to haue runne to his fellowes that stayed for him but by that time he was gotten from the bowes to the roote the Nuns was turned backe againe vpon him When hee saw t●ere was no way to get from them suddainely hee stept right before them and vppon his knees with a streatcht throate like an ould bawling broome-man desired them for Gods sake not to hurt him and he would neuer walke so late a Deare-stealing againe while hee liued and still he yawled and bawled with his hands claspt together in very pittifull manner as though hee would haue rent his winde-pipe This good old Nun so suddainely incountred by such a roaring raggamuffin knew not what to do but ranne as fast from him as ere shee could and all her young ones after her like so many young ones after the dam shee run not so fast one way to leaue him but he run as fast tother waies to leaue her and to finde out his fellowes When he had found them he tould them in boasting manner how he met with a company of Spirits in the parke and they durst not abide the sight of him Therefore be of good cheare my Maisters sayd he if Spirits be affraid to looke vpon mee and run so fast from me I hope the sneaking Keeper dares not abide my furie and so they past on againe to their théeuing pastime How Smug presuming vppon his courage after this exploite frighting these supposed spirrits would needs go the next euening againe a Deare stealing and how deere he paid for it THe next euening SMVG and his fellowes went againe a Deare stealing but it was a deere Deare-stealing to him and the rest of his companions for they had not bene in the Parke aboue a quarter of an houre priuily peaking about for their prey but they spyed the Keeper well weaponed with his great mastiue dog at his héeles Now out alas sayd the Parson what shall we doe my maisters what shall we doe good Bancks as thou art an honest Miller and wouldest haue me pray for the for the forgiuenesse of tole-dish sinne tell me what I shall doe Why alas good sir Iohn quoth the Miller what should I tell you I know neither what to doe nor say for my selfe what sayest thou Smug thou seest we are all in danger I preethe good Oliuer as thou louest a good fellow and good fellowshipe as thou louest that thou knowest wee all loue good liquor giue vs some good counsell and good Smug be breefe for thou seest our destruction is at hand Why alas my Maisters sayde Smug what would you haue me say or doe By Vulcan I protest I knowe not what to saye to you I would I were at my Forge you good Sir Iohn a sleepe in the bell● frye and Bancks in his Mill or I would we were all there that wee might bee as safe as a theefe in the Mill. As they stood there prating and talking the one to the other they saw the Kéeper comming directly towards them Oh now Smug quoth Sir Iohn sticke to vs all my trust is in thee I prethee good Smug shew thy selfe as valiant now against this keeper as thou didst against the Spirits and Hobgoblings thou meetest heere the last night If thou beest remembred thou gauest vs wordes of comfort then and didest bid vs all be of good cheere and feare nothing for thou saidst thou wouldst make the s●eaking keeper fly from thee as fast as thou madst them flie Now hon●st Oliuer be as good as thy word make them ●lie and de●end vs and I euen I Sir Iohn your mad-merry Parson will pray to God for thy health and welfare as long as I haue a day to drinke in Why content you Sir Iohn sayde Smug I le see what I can doe go you two and lie close behind that hedge If I haue but as good lucke against this scuruie keeper this night as I had against my little long taild-hobgoblins the last nig●t wée le not leaue the Parcke without that we came for They as Smug to●ld them went behind the ●edge left him alone to deale with the kéeper but alas for all his big looks and brauing wordes the Keeper thwackt him so soundly that hee made him lye sprawling on the ground and so left him When the Miller and the Parson peeping through the hedge saw the Keeper gone and poore Smug lye in such a pittifull case they went to him now alas poore Smug sayd sir Iohn how i st what cheare man I perceiue your furious lookes could not fright away the Kéeper as it did the Spirits you tould vs of Oh Sir Iohn sayd Smug this Kéeper is a Deuill hee hath payed me yfaith and yet all these blowes greeue ●e not so much Sir Iohn as that you and my neighbour Miller did not stay to take part with me for you would haue had your share in the venison as deepe as I and I had thought he had béene worse to deale withall then Spirits the Deuill should haue dealt with him ere I would haue come into his clutches Smug had no sooner spoke this word but the Keeper was vpon them againe and mightily inraged against them all gaue the Miller and the Parson as much as hee had giuen SMVG and sent them all halting home together How Smug was reuenged vpon a Barber his riuall that made him kisse his tayle AS honest Smug loued as he loued his life the societie of his bearded associates so in like manner loued hee sometime
ten a clocke was the houre and the Foxe chamber the place appointed wishing him for that night to lie there alone in her stead ready to receiue thē or any of them When Smug vnderstood by his wife thouh he was almost past vnderstanding the knauerie that was practised against him after two or thrée smacking busses thankes for her kindnesse in telling it he began to talk to himselfe in this manner A ha my little mad Iinglespurs would you be nibling would you yfaith Lads I le haue a bate shall bate your bouldnes a little I le foxe you yfaith come to the foxe chamber as soone as y●u will To be short a little before the time appointed Smug got him to bed in the Foxe-chamber against they or one of them should come about the houre appointed both the Brothers met in the dauncing roome or Hall for they must passe through that to the Fox prepared to performe their promises but this vnhappy meeting had almost mar'd all for neither of thē durst enter in the other sight By and by before a minute of the prefixed time was past the younger slipt in whilst the elder stood talking amongst the dauncers and to bed he went Hée was no sooner got into his Hostesse as he thought but Smug stept out and with an old dry boot he had laide ready for that purpose so be laboured this yong Mutton monger in his shirt that he had bene as good haue had a sound whipping as that basting A ha quoth Smug I le foxe you yfaith boy doost thou thinke mine host of the George had a whore to his wife no thou lecherous Babone Smug is better liked off in his frize or Sheepe-skin by his owne smug lasse then ere a spruce sleeked gallant of you all Why I preethe good Smug quoth the youngster be contented if I haue made thee a fault I will make thée amends Nay alas qd Smug t is ●o fault I rather account my selfe for the kindenesse you would haue shewen to me in your debte but I le pay you ere you and I part and about him he layd againe Then Smug made him slip on his cloathes beate him out a doores When the elder Brother who all the while he was as he thought in the Foxe chamber with Smugs wife saw how ●e was guld by her and baffed by him hee smilde to himselfe to thinke how well he was rewarded for his forwradnesse and how cleanely he himselfe had escaped that scouring Why how now Brother said hee what 's the matter hath your Bed-fellow beate you is shee such a Deuill how chance you pleased her no better please her quoth he the Deuill please her him to they haue pleased mée a plague on them but it would haue pleased me better Brother if you as it was your desire this euening had had my place Why Brother you may sée quoth the elder what it is to be so forward in seeking to deceiue your elders Well come Brother le ts goe home and sleepe honestly for we sée what 's got by tempting honesty he has taught thée and thou hast taught mee to take heede how we enter into any such action againe Then home they hied them hand in hand one smiling and iesting and the tother fretting and chafing cursing poore Smug his wife and the Foxe-chamber extreamely How Smug being drunke lost his fellowes in the Parke and how when they got together by whooping hollowing he tooke them for theeues would by no meanes know them till he was soundly thawackt by them and made to know his friends from his foes ANother time Smug was fetch'd out of y e Ale-house by sir Iohn the Miller mine host of the George in such a case as it had bene fitter he should haue gone to bed to sléepe then to the Parke a Deere-stealing but drunke as he was they would haue him along with thē for without him they were no body he must néeds goe though he could hardly stand alone Well to y e Parke they got him with what great adoe consider of the case he was in imagine when they were entred into the Parke and were ready to enter vppon their businesse they serued themselues euery one to his appoynted standing with their weapons for that purpose as Crosse-bowes Long-bowes and staues Smug he was set because he was not in case to take a steddy aime to watch that the Keeper came not vppon them before they were aware but while they were close at their busines their centinell honest Smug forgetting both where he was also what charge he had taken in hand went réeling downe y ● Parke cleane out of sight hearing When sir Iohn the Miller the mad Host had strooke the stroake made thē all glad men bound their prize vp hansomly together they went to fetch their centinell but whē they were come to y e place where they set him he was not to be found body of me qd sir Iohn what shall we do kinde neighbours and friends what shal we do honest Sm●g with his head full of liquor is gone god knowes whether I pray loue he be not falne into some of these ditches y ● I hope he is not qd mine host he was wet enough before w●● what a mad knaue is this Smug qd y e Miller he is sure asleepe some where faith then qd sir Ioh● we were best giue ouer séeking for him by eye try what we can do by the voice Then they ●ell to whooping hollowing as loud as they could that Smug might heare answer thē a good while they went whoping hollowing but Smugs eare was to far off for their voices to reach they could by ●o meanes heare y ● answering hollow the babling Eccho answered euery whoope they made but Smug not one So long they walked whoping hollowing vp down that the discouerer of euery bad action y ● morning was ready to discouer theirs yet Smugs hollow could not be heard At last when they had giuen ouer hollowing and were going without him they heard him whoop hush qd sir Iohn I thinke I heare his voice from whence comes it masse I heare it to qd mine Host but from whence I know not Why thē qd the Miller we were best by our hollowing to kéepe him hollowing still and so wée shall come to him I le warrant you They did as the Miller counselled them and within lesse then a quarter of an houre had sight of him When they were come neare together sir Iohn out of the loue good will he bare to Smug stept forward before his fellowes and with an outstretched arme and smiling countenance would haue imbraced him But Smug in his drunken humor not knowing him to be sir Iohn nor y e Miller mine Host that followed him to be his old honest familiar copes-mates tooke him such a knocke ore the pate that he made M. Parson stagger like himselfe though their