men make their riches to be snares and hinderances to keepe them from eternall life they make this present life to be very irksome filling their heads full of much carking care and keeping them from quiet rest Many in this case are so besotted as though they haue abundance yet they will not in health afford themselues a good meales meat nor seemly apparell nor in sicknesse needfull physicke no nor fire and such like common things Their case is worse then theirs who want for others will pitie and succour such as want but who will pitie and succour such 2. Such as are too intentiue vpon their businesses euen the affaires of their lawfull callings for in good things there may be excesse herein many Students Preachers Lawyers Tradesmen Farmers Labourers and others offend when they afford not seasonable times of refreshing and resting to their bodies but fast watch and toile too much in their calling They who by such meanes disable themselues doe make themselues guiltie of the neglect of so much good as they might haue done if they had nourished and cherished their bodies Some are so eager on their businesse that they thinke all the time mispent which is spent in nourishing and cherishing their bodies and thereupon wish that their bodies needed no food sleepe or other like meanes of refreshing These thoughts and desires are foolish and sinfull in many respects as 1. In manifesting a secret discontent and grudging against Gods prouidence who hath thus disposed our estate for the clearer manifestation of mans weaknes Gods care ouer him 2. In taking away occasions of calling vpon God and giuing praise vnto him For if we stood not in such need of Gods prouidence should we so oft pray vnto him for his blessing if by the good meanes which he affordeth vnto vs we felt not the sweetnesse and comfort of his prouidence should we be so thankfull to him 3. In taking away the meanes of mutuall loue for if by reason of our weaknesse we stood not in need of succour and help one from another what triall would there be of our loue 3. Such as sever these two duties of nature nourishing and cherishing and make them an hinderance one to another some so nourish their bodies as they cannot cherish them that is they spend so much in eating and drinking as they haue nothing to cloath themselues withall Others so cherish them as they cannot nourish them that is they so prancke vp themselues with braue apparell aboue their abilitie as they haue not competent food for themselues These fall into two contrarie extremes into the excesse in one thing and into the defect in another §. 67. Of contentment in that which is sufficient As the Apostle by naming these two nourish cherish sheweth that both of them are needfull so by naming them only and no more but them he sheweth that they two are sufficient whence we learne that Hauing food and raiment we must be therewith content The Apostle in these very words laieth downe this doctrine in another place The praier of Agur and the tenour of the fourth Petition proue as much Quest Is a man then strictly bound to care for no more then food to nourish and apparell to cherish him Answ So this nourishing and cherishing be extended to that estate wherein God hath set vs to the charge which God hath giuen vs and to the calling which he hath appointed unto vs we ought to care for no more Let vs therefore take heed of that excesse which ariseth from the corruption of nature and content our selues with that competency which nature requireth §. 68. Of Christs forbearing to hate the Church EPHES. 6. 29. Euen as the Lord the Church THis confirmation of the patterne of a mans selfe by a like patterne of the Lord hath relation to both the parts of the manifestation of a mans loue to himselfe both to the negatiue and so it sheweth that The Lord hateth not his Church And to the affirmatiue and so it sheweth that The Lord nourisheth and cherisheth his Church That difference which is made betwixt Esau a type of the world Esau haue I hated and Iaakob a type of the Church Iaakob haue I loued sheweth that the Lord is farre from hating his Church The world not the Church is the obiect of Gods hatred Obiect The Church her selfe and the enemies thereof oft conceiue by Christs dealing with her that he hateth her Answ It is the flesh abiding in them that are of the Church which maketh them so to conceiue not the spirit and in the enemies of the Church the flesh altogether reigneth But the things of God and his minde and affection nor can nor may be iudged by carnall eies eies of flesh The Spirit of God accounteth such things euidences of Gods Ioue which flesh iudgeth to be tokens of hatred namely corrections It is not because there is no matter of hatred in the Church that Christ hateth it not for by nature all are of one and the same cursed stocke children of wrath and after our sanctification is begun the flesh abiding in vs we daily giue much occasion of hatred if Christ should take that aduantage against vs which he might but it is that neere vnion which Christ hath made betwixt himselfe and the Church that keepeth him from hating her he hath made her his Spouse and he will not hate his Spouse all the occasion of hatred that she giueth he will either wipe away or couer Admirable is the comfort which euery true member of the Catholike Church may reape from hence for so long as the wrath and hatred of the Lord is turned from vs nothing can make vs miserable we may in this respect reioyce not only in prosperitie but also in all manner of affliction No calamitie can moue Christ to hate his Church but rather the more to pittie it as we doe our bodies Nay though by sinne he be prouoked and see it needfull to correct his Church yet in loue not in hatred in mercy not in wrath will he correct it What now if all the world have vs Seeing Christ hateth vs not we need not feare nor care The subiect which is sure of his Kings fauour little regardeth the hatred of others This therefore is to be thought of both to comfort vs vnder the crosse and to encourage vs against the hatred of the world That none may peruert this comfortable doctrine let me adde two caueats 1. That men deceiue not themselues with a naked name thinking themselues to be of the Church when they are only in it such may Christ hate 2. That being of the Church they waxe not insolent and too much prouoke Christ to anger for though he hate not such yet in wisdome he may so seuerely correct them as if he hated them and make them repent their folly and insolencie againe and
to hate his wife nor any vice seeme to him intolerable with goodnes he â—â—ught to ouercome euill If notorious sins seemed intolerable to Christ or that he thought any occasion iust to cause hatred many â—hat are of his Church would oft draw his hatred vpon them but Christ hateth neuer a member of his Church 4. There is no hope that euer I shall receiue any helpe of my wife or benefit from her Ans There is little charitie in such as can conceiue no hope for â—ue hopeth all things but yet the case so standeth with Christ The Church is so vtterly vnable to help or benefit him as he may iustly â—y he cannot hope to receiue any thing froÌ„ her Christ loueth the â—hurch for her own good not for his so ought husbands Thus if Christs example be well weighed obserued of husbands it will â—ford matter enough to remoue euery doubt or scruple raised to â—enate their affections from their wiues Fitly therefore hath the Apostle set it before husbands both to direct them how to loue their wiues and also to moue them so to doe §. 76. Of a mans loue to himselfe a motiue to prouoke him to loue his wife To the same purpose that Christs example tendeth tendeth also the patterne of a mans selfe Great is the affection that a man beareth to himselfe to his owne flesh his owne bodie he neuer hateth but euer loueth himselfe no sore no disease no paine no stinch that the flesh bringeth to a man can make him hate it but rather all manner of infirmities doe make him the more to pitty tender and cherish it This is a worke of nature the most heathenish and barbarous that euer were doe it Now a wife being to a man as his bodie and his flesh for they two are one flesh and God hauing commanded men to loue their wiues as their owne bodies these conclusions will necessarily follow from this motiue 1. He that loueth not his wife is more caried with the instinct of nature then with the expresse charge of the God of nature Natures instinct moueth him to loue his bodie But Gods expresse charge moueth him not to loue his wife 2. He that loueth not his wife is worse then an infidell and a barbarian yea then a very beast for all these loue their owne bodies and their owne flesh but a wife by Gods ordinance is as ones bodie and his flesh 3. He that loueth his wife loueth himselfe the Apostle himselfe in these very words layeth downe this conclusion from whence by the rule of contraries this also will follow He that loueth not his wife loueth not himselfe 4. He that loueth not his wife cannot but bring woe and mischiefe vpon himselfe For the damage and mischiefe which followeth on a wife through any neglect of dutie on her husband part followeth also on him as the mischiefe which followeth on the bodie through any negligence of the head lighteth also on the head If these be not motiues sufficient to prouoke an husband to loue his wife I know not what can be sufficient The fifth Treatise Duties of Children §. 1. Of the generall Heads of Childrens duties EPHES. 6. 1. Children obey your Parents in the Lord for this is right 2. Honour thy father and mother which is the first commandement with promise 3. That it may be well with thee and thou maist liue long on the earth THe second couple in a familie are Parents Children In laying downe their duties the Apostle beginneth with children his direction and instigation vnto them is laid downe in the three first verses of the sixt chapter wherein 1. He declareth their dutie 2. He addeth reasons to inforce the same In laying downe their dutie he noteth three points 1. Wherein it consisteth obey honour 2. To whom it is to be performed your parents 3. After what manner it is to be done in the Lord. The reasons vsed by the Apostle are foure 1. The place of parents in the Lord. 2. The aequitie of the thing this is right 3. The charge of God Honour thy father c. 4. The reward promised That it may goe well c. Vnder this word obey which the Apostle vseth and that word honour which the law vseth are all those duties comprised which any where thorowout the whole Scripture are inioyned to children We will therefore set them downe in some order and handle them distinctly one after another 1. The Fountaine of childrens duties is to be searched out 2. The Streames that flow from thence are to be obserued The Fountaine is an inward disposition of the heart compounded of loue and feare The Streames issuing from thence extend vnto parents both while they are liuing and also when they are dead Childrens duties which are to be performed to their parents while they liue haue respect to their Authoritie Necessitie  The Authoritie of parents requireth of children Reuerence Obedience  Their Necessitie requireth Recompence The duties which children owe to their parents deceased respect their Body Credit  Their Body with decency must be buried Their Credit with honour must be maintained §. 2. Of Childrens loue to their Parents I make the fountaine of childrens duties to be a mixed and compound disposition in respect of that authoritie and affection which is mixed together in parents The authoritie of parents requireth feare in children and their affection loue So intire and so ardent is parents affection towards their children as it would make children too bold and insolent if there were not authoritie mixed therewith to worke feare and so supreme and absolute is their authoritie ouer them as it would make children like slaues to dread their parents if a fatherly affection were not tempered therewith to breed loue But both these ioyned together make a very good composition loue like sugar sweetneth feare and feare like salt seasoneth loue and thus to ioyne them both together it is a louing-feare or a fearingloue which is the ground of childrens duties Where Christ forbiddeth an excessiue loue in children to their parents he implieth that parents are a fit obiect for children to loue so as their loue be wel moderated yea he implieth that it is an affection euen by nature ingraffed in children to loue their parents Ioseph is commended vnto children as a worthy patterne in louing his father and that from his youth till the decease of his father in testimony whereof in his younger yeeres he brought to his father the euill report of his brethren whereby he incurred their enuie and hatred which he would neuer haue done if he had not loued his father and hauing beene long absent from his father when by Gods prouidence there was offered an occasion for him to meet with his brethren one of his first questions to them was about their father and hearing that he was liuing he thought it not enough to send him food for his need but must also needs see his
exempt them Seeing then that the Church stood in need to be cleansed and sanctified surely The Church in herselfe was as the world polluted Very liuely is this set forth by the Prophet Ezekiel vnder the similitude of a wretched infant borne of a cursed parentage whose nauell was not cut who was not washed salted nor swadled but cast out in the open field polluted with bloud Oft doth the Apostle setting forth the wretched estate of the world note of the true members of the Church that we our selues also were such The Church consisteth of none other then of such as came out of Adams loines Now as all the brood which commeth from vipers adders toads spiders and other like venomous dams are infected with poison so all the sonnes of Adam are polluted with sinne That which is borne of the flesh as is euery mothers childe not the members of the Church excepted for they haue fathers and mothers of their flesh is flesh that is polluted and corrupt Therefore when we are taken into the Church we are borne againe This our former estate by nature is oft and seriously to be thought of and that in respect of Christ Our selues  Others  1. In regard of Christ the more to magnifie his loue Our former estate before he cast the wings of his mercy vpon vs sheweth our vnworthinesse our vilenesse and wretchednesse and in that respect it openeth our heart and mouth to thinke and say O Lord our Lord what is man that thou art mindfull of him and the sonne of man that thou visitest him Lord how is it that thou wilt manifest thy selfe vnto vs and not vnto the world The right knowledge of our former estate and a due consideration thereof maketh vs ascribe all the glory of our present dignity and happinesse to Christ that altered our estate as Saint Paul I thanke Christ Iesus our Lord who hath enabled mee who was before a blasphemer c. yea it maketh vs the more to prize and esteeme the present estate as Dauid 2. In regard of our selues this is to be thought of to humble vs and to keepe vs from insolent boasting in those priuiledges whereof through Christ we are made partakers To this purpose doth the Apostle thus presse this point Who maketh thee to differ from another and what hast thou that thou diddest not receiue Now if thou diddest receiue it why doest thou glory as if thou hadst not receiued it When a man is exalted from a meane to a great place and thereupon waxeth proud and insolent we say he hath forgotten from whence he came So as remembrance of our former condition is a meanes to preserue humility and to suppresse insolencie 3. In regard of others it is to be thought of to moue vs the more to commiserate their wofull estate who yet remaine as we once were to conceiue hope that their estate may be altered as well as ours was to pray and vse what meanes we can that it may be altered To prouoke Christians to shew all meekenesse to them which were without the Apostle renders this reason for we our selues also in times past were foolish c.. read how forcibly this is vrged Rom. 11. 18 19 c. §. 34. Of Christs preuenting Grace In setting downe the alteration of the forenamed condition note 1. The manner of laying it forth 2. The matter or substance thereof The manner is implied in this coniunction THAT That he might sanctifie it Christ loued the Church and gaue himselfe for it not because it was sanctified but that he might sanctifie it so as The Grace which Christ sheweth to the Church is a preuenting Grace Sanctification is no cause but an effect of Christs loue and followeth in order after his loue His loue arose only and wholly from himselfe in the parties loued there was nothing but matter of hatred before they were loued Moses thus saith of the loue of God to Israel The Lord did not set his loue vpon you because yee were more in number but because the Lord loued you This at first sight may seeme to be as we say a womans reason that the Lord should set his loue on them because he loued them but it being duly obserued we shall finde excellently set forth the ground of Gods loue to rest altogether in himselfe and in his owne good pleasure Yea this being noted as the end of Christs loue that he might sanctifie it it further sheweth that it was not any foresight of holinesse in the Church that moued him to loue it first he loued it and then sought how to make it amiable and worthy to be loued Herein differeth Christs loue from the loue of all men towards their spouses for they must see something in them to moue them to loue When Ahash-verosh was to choose a wife the maidens out of whom he was to take one were first purified and then he tooke her in whom he most delighted But Christ first loueth his spouse and then sanctifieth it Before he loued it he saw nothing in it why he should preferre it before the world Seeing of him and through him and to him is all the beauty and dignitie of the Church the glorie be to him for euer Amen §. 35. Of Christs seeking to make his Church pure The Matter or substance of that subordinate end which Christ aimed at in giuing himselfe for the Church is in these words that he might sanctifie it hauing cleansed it which in generall shew that Christ seeketh the purity of his Church For this end hath he shed his owne most pure and pretious bloud for his bloud cleanseth vs from all sinne and conueyed his holy Spirit into his body the Church which is called the Spirit of Sanctification because it reneweth and sanctifieth those in whom it is This Christ aimeth at that he might make his spouse like to himselfe pure as he is pure That end which Christ aimed at we that professe our selues to be of this Church must endeuour after for euery man that hath this hope in him purgeth himselfe as he is pure Let vs therefore vse all good meanes to cleanse our selues from all filthinesse of flesh and spirit This being the end which Christ aimeth at for the good of his Church to cleanse it they who finde themselues cleansed haue a good euidence that they are of this Church they who are not cleansed can haue no assurance thereof How vnworthy are they of this benefit that liue as the world and like swine vpon euery occasion wallow in the mire being drawne by euery temptation into sinne Doe they not as much as in them lieth make the death of Christ to be in vaine and peruert that maine end which Christ aimed at in giuing himselfe But what may be thought of such as Ismael-like mocke and scoffe at those that
these things in loue to themselues as superstitious persons to merit saluation by macerating their bodie others to free themselues from ignominie penurie slauerie torment or such like euils so as there is an apparent good that maketh them so to doe and not simply hatred of themselues They that so doe are either possessed with a Deuill or blinded in their minde or bereaued of their wits or ouerwhelmed with some passion so as they know not what they doe they doe it not therefore in hatred 2. Obiect Holy and wise men deliberately and on good aduice haue beaten downe their bodies and yeelded their liues to be taken away not accepting deliuerance Answ That was farre from hatred and in great loue to themselues as was shewed before §. 63. Of vnnaturall practises against ones selfe The forenamed doctrine discouereth many practises vsed by sundry men to be against nature and in that respect most horrible and detestable 1. The practise of the idolatrous Baalites who to moue their I doll to heare them cut themselues with kniues and lancers till the bloud gushed out vpon them Not much vnlike to whom are Popish Eremites Anchorites Monks flagellants Grandimontenses sundrie sorts of Franciscans and other Friers whereof some weare shirts of haire-cloth some shirts of maile next their bodie some goe bare-foot some daily whip themselues till bloud follow and some waste their bodies with lying hard watching fasting going on pilgrimage c. 2. The practise of Gluttons Drunkards vnchaste and voluptuous persons who to satisfie their corrupt humours impaire their health pull diseases vpon them and shorten their dayes 3. The practise of Swaggerers who by quarrels cause their flesh to be wounded and their liues taken away Among these may be reckoned such as bring themselues to great straits distresses and dangers for lucre sake and they who by felonie treason and the like euill deeds cast themselues vpon the sword of the Magistrate 4. The practise of them that giue the reines to griefe feare wrath and other like violent passions so as thereby they weaken their bodies and shorten their dayes 5. The practise of selfe-murtherers who herein breake the rule of loue as thy selfe and end their dayes in a most horrible sinne depriuing themselues of the time place and meanes of repentance so as whatsoeuer fond pretence they make for their sinne little better can be thought of them then that they thrust their soules headlong into hell vnlesse the Lord betwixt the act done and the expiration of their breath extraordinarily touch their hearts Religion nature sense and all abhorre this fearefull fact so as not only those who haue beene enlightned by Gods word but also the Heathen who had no other then the light of nature haue adiudged it to be a most desperate sinne §. 64. Of haters of others 2. By that affection which nature moueth men to beare to their flesh we may see how nature more preuailes with men then conscience and obedience to Gods word yea then the Spirit for where nature keepeth all men from hating their owne flesh nothing can keepe many husbands from hating their wiues and wiues their husbands nor brothers cosens neighbours yet these are our owne flesh no nor many of those who professe themselues to be of the mysticall bodie of Christ from hating one another What shall we say of these Is nature of greater power and more mightie in operation then the Spirit Surely such either deceiue themselues and others in pretending to be members of the bodie of Christ or else the Spirit is verie weake in them and the flesh beareth a great sway Let haters of their brethren thinke of this and bee ashamed §. 65. Of mans care in prouiding and vsing things needfull for his bodie The second euidence of that loue which a man beareth to himselfe is noted in two such branches nourisheth and cherisheth as comprize all needfull things vnder them so as the Apostle implieth thereby that Nature teacheth all men to prouide such things as are needfull for them needfull for life as food and needfull for health as apparell Nature is here propounded as a Schoolemaster to Christians this therefore which nature teacheth is a bounden dutie It is much insisted vpon by Salomon who in this respect saith It is good and comely for one to eat and drinke and enioy the good of all his labour If he be worse then an Infidell that prouideth not for his owne what is he that prouideth not for himselfe euen worse then a beast for nature hath taught the bruit beasts to nourish and cherish themselues If any thinke that it more befitteth beasts or naturall men then Saints let them tell me which of the Saints at any time guided by Gods Spirit hath wholly neglected himselfe To omit all others it is expresly noted of Christ that as there was occasion he slept he eat he rested and otherwise refreshed himselfe Obiect Though he were hungry and meat prepared for him yet he refused to eat Answ 1. Forbearing one meale is no great hinderance of cherishing the body 2. Extraordinarie and weightie occasions may lawfully make a man a little neglect himselfe that so he may shew he preferreth Gods glorie and his brothers saluation before the outward nourishing of his body to which purpose Christ saith My meat is to doe the will of him that sent me that is I preferre it before my meat And Saint Paul saith I will very gladly be spent for your soules We must here therefore take heed of the extremes on both hands 1. Of vndue and ouermuch neglecting our bodies so as the strength of them be wasted and the health impaired 2. Of too much caring for it so as vpon no occasion we will lose a meales meat or a nights rest Fasting and watching as occasion requireth are bounden duties But to returne to the point of nourishing and cherishing our flesh 1. For this end hath God prouided food apparell and all things needfull for our weake bodies that they should be nourished and cherished thereby not to vse them therefore is to refuse Gods prouidence 2. By well nourishing and cherishing our bodies they are the better enabled to doe that worke and seruice which God appointeth to be done but by neglecting them they are disabled thereto As this is a motiue so ought it to be an end whereat we aime in nourishing and cherishing our bodies §. 66. Of them that neglect to cherish their bodies Against this good instinct of nature doe many offend 1. Couetous misers who so doat vpon their wealth and so delight in abundance of goods treasured vp as they afford not themselues things needfull to nourish and cherish their bodies Salomon doth much taxe such of them he saith that riches are kept for the owners thereof to their hurt Daily experience giueth euidence to the truth thereof for beside that such
appeare by a particular consideration of the three forenamed properties of this matrimoniall bond the preheminencie firmnesse and neerenesse thereof §. 86. Of Christs leauing his Father and mother for his spouse I. The preheminencie of the matrimoniall bond betwixt Christ and the Church herein appeareth that Christ left his Father and his mother for his spouse the Church As Christ is God God is his Father as man the Virgin Marie was his mother Now the leauing of his Father must be taken only by way of resemblance in that he came from the place of his Fathers habitation to the place where his Spouse was The Scripture saith that he was in the bosome of his Father by him as one brought vp with him his daily delight reioycing alway before him yet descended he into the lowest parts of the earth where his spouse was He came out from the Father and came into the world But truly and properly did he preferre his Spouse before his mother For when he was instructing his Spouse and his mother came to interrupt him he said to his mother who is my mother and to his Spouse behold my mother Of the same minde must the Church and all that are of the Church be vnto Christ she must forget her owne people and fathers house Seeing Christ hath gone before vs and giuen vs so good an example what an high point of ingratitude would it be for vs to preferre father mother or any other before Christ our husband Note what he saith in this case He that loueth father or mother more then me is not worthie of me And againe If any come vnto me and hate not his father and mother he cannot be mine To hate here is to be so farre from preferring father mother before Christ as rather then not to loue Christ to hate father and mother Or so intirely to loue Christ aboue all as our loue of parents in comparison thereof to be an hatted Thus Leui said vnto his father and mother I haue not seene him for they obserued the word and kept the couenant of Christ This then is our dutie that we suffer not any naturall affection and dotage on our parents to swallow vp that loue we owe to Christ as Pharaohs ill-fauourèd and leane-fleshed kine eat vp the seuen well-fauoured and fat kine How much lesse should any loue of this world of the profits promotions or pleasures of this world draw away our hearts from Christ should we not rather say and doe as the Apostles did Behold we haue for saken all and followed Christ §. 87. Of the indissoluble vnion betwixt Christ and the Church II. The firmnesse of that bond whereby Christ and the Church are said to be glued together is greater and more inuiolable then that whereby man and wife are ioyned together Death parteth man and wife but death cannot make a diremption betwixt Christ and the Church so as we may well from this metaphor inferre that Christ and the Church are inseparably knit together I will betroth thee vnto me for euer saith Christ vnto the Church The couenant which Christ maketh with his Church is an euerlasting couenant The mountaines shall depart and the hils be remoued before his kindnesse shall depart from the Church The stedfastnesse and vnchangeablenesse of his will is the only cause thereof Whom he loueth he loueth vnto the end His gifts and calling are without repentance He is not like the hard hearted Iewes who vpon euerie sleight occasion would put away their wiues The Lord hateth putting away Though therefore the Church through her weaknesse doe depart from him and play the harlot yet returne againe to me saith the Lord. Learne we by this patterne to cleaue close vnto the Lord which is a dutie most due to Christ who cleaueth so close to vs and therefore oft expressed in the Scripture Three vertues there are which are of speciall vse to this purpose Faith Hope Loue. Faith is the hand whereby we lay fast hold on Christ and as it were knit him to our selues as he by his Spirit knitteth vs to himselfe This maketh vs rest and repose our selues on him for all needfull things and not to leaue him for any thing Hope is the anchor which holdeth vs fast against all the stormes of Satan so as they can neuer driue vs out of our harbour which is the Lord Iesus Christ Loue is the glue and soader which maketh vs one with Christ for it is the propertie of loue to vnite those that loue one another in one Ionathans soule was knit with the soule of Dauid For why Ionathan loued him as his owne soule He that loueth is well pleased with him whom he loueth and seeketh also to please him that they may mutually delight one in another Were these three vertues well rooted in vs we would say who shall separate vs from the loue of Christ shall tribulation or distresse c. §. 88. Of the equall priuiledge of all the Saints III. Concerning the phrase whereby the neerenesse of man and wife is set forth they two shall be one flesh it may be demanded how this can be applied to Christ and the Saints who are more then two Answ Christ by one Spirit knitteth vs all into one bodie and so maketh all ioyntly considered together one Spouse The multitude of Saints doth no more imply many wiues then the multitude of members which the naturall bodie of a wife hath This point then teacheth vs that In the mysticall mariage betwixt Christ and the Church all and euerie of the Saints haue an equall priuiledge Some are not Concubines some wiues nor some more loued or preferred to another but all one wife All are one in Christ Iesus Neither the Father that gaue them all nor the Sonne who tooke them all saw any thing in one more then in another their meere grace moued them to doe what they did Well may euerie one apply all the forenamed priuiledges vnto themselues and not one emulate another This affordeth instruction to the more eminent in the Church that like proud dames they insult not ouer others as if they were their hand-maids and consolation to the meaner sort that they may vphold themselues and possesse their soules with patience and not enuie or grieue at the outward prosperitie and priuiledges of others In the greatest priuiledge they are equall to the greatest This of the parties coupled to Christ For these words they two shew that all the Saints are but one Christ is the other of the two The next words are one flesh shew how neere those Saints are to Christ §. 89. Of the neere vnion betwixt Christ and the Church The maine point here to be noted is that Christ and the Church are most neerely linked together What can be neerer then that two should come into one flesh This is
vnto as if they had neuer beene ioined to a former The liuing husband or wife is the present pledge of Gods fauour He is now thine owne husband and she is now thine owne wife and not the partie that is dead I denie not but the memorie of a vertuous husband or wife ought to be pretious to the suruiuing partie for the memoriall of the iust is blessed But as the vertue of a person deceased may not be buried with the dead corps so neither may the person be kept aboue ground with the memorie of his or her vertue which after a sort is done when loue of the partie deceased either taketh away or extenuateth the loue of the liuing This is to giue dominion to the dead ouer the liuing which is more then the law enioyneth §. 11. Of husbands and wiues mutuall hatred contrary to loue There is a generation of so crabbed and crooked a disposition as they cannot loue but rather hate one another because they are man and wife for many husbands hauing wiues and wiues husbands euery way worthy to be loued will notwithstanding say to the astonishment of the hearers I haue indeed a good husband or I haue a good wife but I cannot loue him or I cannot loue her and being demanded a reason sticke not openly and impudently to reply I thinke I could loue him if he were not mine husband or I thinke I could loue her if she were not my wife O more then monstrous impudencie Is not this directly to oppose against Gods ordinance and against that order which he hath set betwixt man and woman Is it not to trample vnder foot Gods fauour Though there were nothing else to moue loue but this that such an one is thine husband or such an one is thy wife yet this should be motiue enough And shall this be the ground of thine hatred Assuredly such a spirit is a plaine diabolicall spirit contrary to that spirit which is from aboue and if it be not cast out it will cast those whom it possesseth into the fire of hell §. 12. Of mutuall peace betwixt Man and Wife Among other meanes of maintaining an inward louing affection betwixt man and wife outward mutuall peace concord and agreement is one of the principall Whereupon the Apostle exhorteth to keepe the vnitie of the spirit in the bond of peace for peace is a bond that tieth one to another and maketh them to be as one euen one in spirit as on the contrary side outward discord disunites mens spirits We are enioined to follow peace with all men how much more of all persons ought husbands to haue peace with their wiues and wiues with their husbands they are neerer then brothers and sisters Behold then how good and pleasant a thing it is for them to dwell together in vnity Dwell together they must but without peace there is no dwelling together It is better to dwell in a corner of the house top then with a contentious woman in a wide house Persons at variance were farre better be out of sight and place then present together Out of sight and place man and wife must not be at peace therefore they must be Mutuall peace betwixt them is a great refreshing to their mindes being beaten with the discords of others It is said that a wife is in this respect as an hauen to man how much more man to his wife If the hauen be calme and free from stormes and tempests what a refreshing will it be to the Mariner that hath beene tossed in the sea with windes and waues For maintaining peace 1. All offences so much as possibly may be must be auoided The husband must be watchfull ouer himselfe that he giue no offence to his wife and so the wife on the other side Offences cause contentions 2. When an offence is giuen by the one partie it must not be taken by the other but rather passed by and then will not peace be broken The second blow makes the fray 3. If both be incensed together the fire is like to be the greater with the greater speed therefore must they both labour to put it out Wrath must not lie in bed with two such bed-fellowes neither may they part beds for wrath sake That this fire may be the sooner quenched they must both striue first to offer reconciliation Theirs is the glory who doe first begin for they are most properly the blessed peacemakers Not to accept peace when it is offered is more then heathenish but when wrath is incensed to seeke atonement is the dutie of a Christian and a grace that commeth from aboue 4. Children seruants nor any other in the family must be bolstred vp by the one against the other The mans partaking with any of the house against his wife or the wiues against her husband is an vsuall cause of contention betwixt man and wife 5. They must forbeare to twit one another in the teeth with the husbands or wiues of other persons or with their owne former husbands or wiues in case they haue had any before Comparisons in this kinde are very odious They stir vp much passion and cause great contentions 6. Aboue all they must take heed of rash and vniust iealousie which is the bane of mariage and greatest cause of discontent that can be giuen betwixt man and wife Iealous persons are ready to picke quarrels and to seeke occasions of discord they will take euery word looke action and motion in the worse part and so take offence where none is giuen When iealousie is once kindled it is as a flaming fire that can hardly be put out It maketh the partie whom it possesseth implacable 7. In all things that may stand with a good conscience they must endeuour to please one another and either of them suffer their owne will to be crossed rather then discontent to be giuen to the other Saint Paul noteth this as a common mutuall dutie belonging to them both and expresseth their care thereof vnder a word that signifieth more then ordinarie care and implieth a diuiding of the minde into diuers thoughts casting this way and that way and euery way how to giue best content §. 13. Of contentions betwixt man and wife Contrary to mutuall peace are contentions betwixt man and wife which are too frequent in most families and by which the common good is much hindered Discord betwixt man and wife in an house is as contention betwixt the master and pilot in a ship may not great danger and much mischiefe be thence iustly feared We heard before that man to his wife and she to him is as an hauen Now by experience we finde that if the hauen be tempestuous it is much more troublesome and dangerous to the Mariner then the wide sea Wherefore let man and wife be of the same minde one to another as Abraham was to Lot and when
and wiues may be the more sparing in censuring one another they must not rashly beleeue any euill report of one another but rather suppresse all light suspitions as much as they can That the iudgement which they giue one of another may be charitable in iudging they must well obserue the properties of loue which are 1. To interpret doubtfull things in the better part 2. To mitigate so farre as truth and iustice will suffer the faults which are euident Michal offended against the first in an high degree and was cursed Abigail obserued the latter and was blessed §. 33. Of the wisdome of husbands and wiues in redressing one anothers ill name To redresse an ill name husbands and wiues must first giue one another notice of the report that goeth of them and endeuour to worke in them both a sight and also a sense of those euils which are in the mouths of others after notice giuen they must labour to bring them to repentance of those sinnes for which they are ill reported of and to a manifestation of repentance by doing things meet for repentance which is by a zealous and conscionable practise of such vettues as are cleane contrarie to the vices for which they were euill spoken of It may with good probabilitie be gathered out of the historie of the Leuite whose wife plaid the whore that thus he dealt with her And thus Abigail endeuoured to deale with her husband §. 34. Of husbands and wiues care in procuring one anothers good name To procure a good report husbands and wiues must First take notice of the good qualities which are in one another and as one hath occasion to speake of the other to make those good qualities the subiect of their speech as we heard it before commended in the husband of that wife which is described by Salomon Secondly they must lend a willing and ioyfull eare to such as shall so farre as they can conceiue truly and vnfainedly without flatterie or hypocrisie speake any thing in commendation of the one or of the other not thinking themselues dispraised which is the conceit of many when their bed-fellow is praised but rather hauing their hearts the more enlarged to praise God for bestowing on them such an excellent token and pledge of his fauour Thirdly they must imitate those good things which they behold or heare to be in one another and so imitate them as they which haue before time knowne both husband and wife may say this she learned of him or this he learned of her §. 35. Of husbands and wiues wisdome in preseruing each others good name To preserue a good name it will be meet for an husband or wife wisely and seasonably to giue one another notice of that good fame which is raised of them thereby to prouoke them both to giue glorie to God for the same as the Apostle thanketh God for that report which was spred abroad of the faith and loue of the Colossians and also to walke worthie of that good report as the Apostle who had giuen a great testimony of the bountie of the Corinthians earnestly exhorteth them to finish their beneuolence lest saith he I should be ashamed in this my constant boasting For if they of whom there is once a good report raised decay wax cold grow backward or fall into notorious and scandalous sinnes they will cleane extinguish and put out their good name among men and turne it into an euill report according to that which Salomon saith Dead flies cause the ointment of the Apothecarie to sendforth a stinking sauour so doth a little folly him that is in reputation for wisdome and honour §. 36. Of husbands and wiues like affection towards one anothers credit In the last place to manifest a mutuall prouident care of one anothers good name husbands and wiues must be so affected with the report that goeth of either of them as if the report were of their owne selues If the report be good to be glad thereof and to reioyce thereat if it be euill to be grieued and after an holy manner vexed at it thus shall they shew a true sympathie and fellow feeling of one anothers credit according to that generall rule of the Apostle Reioyce with them that reioyce and weepe with them that weepe §. 37. Of the vices contrarie to that mutuallcare which man and wife should haue of one anothers credit Vices contrarie to these duties concerning the good name of an husband and wife are in generall two One is a readinesse to disgrace and discredit one another like Michal the wife of Dauid of whom we heard before A hatefull and detestable vice this is which cannot stand with true matrimoniall loue but rather argueth an vtter dislike and a plaine hatred of one another Husbands and wiues discredit one another either by procuring an ill name or hindring a good name An ill name in procured by these meanes following 1. By blazing abroad one anothers infirmities as when tatling Gossips meet their vsuall praâ—e is about their husbands complaining of some vice or other in them My husband saith one is couetous I cannot get of him any thing almost he maketh me goe as no body goeth And my husband replieth another is so furious as none can tell how to speake to him so one after another goeth on in this tracke some discouering such infirmities as should be concealed others which is worse plainly belying their husbands In like manner also husbands when they meet with their boone companions make their wiues the common subiect of all their talke one accusing his wife of one vice another his of another There are two respects for which this vice most detestable in it selfe is made more odious in an husband or a wife 1. Because they know more then any other of one anothers infirmities so as if they be so euilly minded they may much more discredit one another then any other can 2. Because in regard of their neere vnion they are most bound to conceale and couer each others imperfections Cam was cursed for reuealing his fathers nakednesse but a more horrible curse doe husbands and wiues deserue that so doe 2. By opening their eares and giuing credit to euery light report that any shall raise More secret heart-burning of one against the other and more open quarrels and contentions betwixt them ordinarily arise from hence then from any other thing 3. By peruerting and mis-interpreting one anothers actions words yea and thoughts also taking euery thing in the worst part 4. By concealing from one another the common euill rumors which are raised of them and are in euery mans mouth of all other bedfellowes are most fit to disclose such things one to another and most bound to doe it Most fit because of their mutuall familiaritie most bound because of their neere vnion Many husbands and wiues doe hinder one anothers good
wife though neuer so wicked may by the power of her husband be kept vnder and restrained from outrage Wherefore to goe on in order in laying downe the husbands duties as we haue the wiues we are to consider 1. The Duties themselues 2. The reasons to inforce them In setting downe the duties we must note 1. The matter wherein they consist 2. The manner how they are to be performed The Apostle compriseth the whole matter of them all vnder Loue which is the summe and head of all This we will first handle and then proceed to other particulars §. 2. Of that loue which husbands owe their wiues This head of all the rest Loue is expresly set downe and alone mentioned in this and in many other places of Scripture whereby it is euident that all other duties are comprised vnder it To omit other places where this dutie is vrged in this place Loue is foure times by name expressed beside that it is intimated vnder many other termes and phrases Whosoeuer therefore taketh a wife must in this respect that she is his wife loue her as it is noted of Isaak the best patterne of husbands noted in the Scripture he tooke Rebekah she was his wife ana he loued her Many good reasons hereof may be rendred 1. Because no dutie on the husbands part can be rightly performed except it be seasoned with loue The Apostle exhorteth all Christians to doe all their things in loue much more ought husbands though in place they be aboue their wiues yet loue may not be forgotten 2. Because of all persons on earth a wife is the most proper obiect of loue nor friend nor childe nor parent ought so to be loued as a wife she is termed the wife of his bosome to shew that she ought to be as his heart in his bosome 3. Because his place of eminency and power of authority may soone puffe him vp and make him insult ouer his wife and trample her vnder his feet if a intire loue of her be not planted in his heart To keepe him from abusing his authority is loue so much pressed vpon him 4. Because wiues through the weaknesse of their sex for they are the weaker vessels are much prone to prouoke their husbands So as if there be not loue predominant in the husband there is like to be but little peace betwixt man and wife Loue couereth a multitude of imperfections 5. Because as Christ by his loue first manifested prouoketh the Church to loue him so an husband by louing his wife should prouoke her to loue him againe shewing himselfe like the Sunne which is the fountaine of light and from which the Moone receiueth what light she hath so he should be the fountaine of loue to his wife Obiect Loue was before laid downe as a common dutie appertaining both to man and wife how is it then here required as a particular and peculiar dutie of an husband Answ In regard of the generall extent of loue it is indeed a common dutie belonging to the one as well as to the other yea belonging to all Christians to all men for it is the very nature of loue and an especiall property thereof to seeke not her owne things but the good of others which all are bound to doe by vertue of the bond of nature more then others Christians by vertue of the bond of the spirit among Christians especially wiues and husbands by vertue of the matrimoniall bond of maried couples most of all husbands by vertue of their place and charge Their place is a place of authoritie which without loue will soone turne into tyrannie Their charge is especially and aboue all to seeke the good of their wiues as wiues are the chiefest and greatest charge of husbands so their chiefest and greatest care must be for them the parents and friends of wiues as they giue ouer all their authority to their husbands so they cast all care vpon them wherefore that husbands may take the more care of their wiues and the better seeke their good they ought after a peculiar manner to loue them Husbands are most of all bound to loue and bound to loue their wiues most of all Thus this affection of loue is a distinct dutie in it selfe peculiarly appertaining to an husband and also a common condition which must be annexed to euery other dutie of an husband to season and sweeten the same His looke his speech his carriage and all his actions wherein he hath to doe with his wife must be seasoned with loue loue must shew it selfe in his commandements in his reproofes in his instructions in his admonitions in his authoritie in his familiaritie when they are alone together when they are in company before others in ciuill affaires in religious matters at all times in all things as salt must be first and last vpon the table and eaten with euery bit of meate so must loue be first in an husbands heart and last out of it and mixed with euery thing wherein he hath to doe with his wife §. 3. Of an husbands hatred and want of loue Contrary hereunto is hatred of heart which vice as it is very odious and detestable in it selfe so much more when the wife is made the obiect thereof As loue prouoketh an husband to doe his wife what good he can so hatred to doe her what mischiefe he can Moses noteth a mans hatred of his wife to be a cause of much mischiefe for the neerer and dearer any persons be the more violent will that hatred be which is fastened on them Hence was it that a diuorce was suffered to be made betwixt a man and his wife in case he hated her which law questionlesse was made for releefe of the wife lest the hatred which her husband conceiued against her should worke her some mischiefe if he were forced to keepe her as his wife which Christ seemeth to imply in these words Moses because of the hardnesse of your hearts suffered you to put away your wines This therefore being so pestilent a poison let husbands take heed how they suffer it to soake into them Neither is it sufficient for an husband not to hate his wife for euen the want of loue though it be only a priuation yet is it a great vice and contrary also to the forenamed dutie of loue Where this want of loue is there can be no duty wel performed euen as when the great wheele of a clocke the first mouer of all the rest is out of frame neuer a wheele can be in good order They that thinke lightly hereof plainly discouer that there is little or no loue of God in them at all for if the Apostles inference be good taken from a mans neighbour or brother whom he hath seene it will much more be good hauing relation to a wife for how can he who loueth not his wife whom God hath giuen to
him as a token of his fauour and as an helpe meet for him to be in his bosome and euer in his sight yea to be no more two but one flesh loue God whom he hath not seene If any man saith he loueth God and hate his wife he is a lier Let husbands therefore by louing their wiues giue euidence that they loue God §. 4. Of an husbands wise maintaining his authoritie All the branches which grow out of this root of loue as they haue respect to husbands duties may be drawne to two heads 1. A wise maintaining of his authoritie 2. A right managing of the same That these two are branches of an husbands loue is euident by the place wherein God hath set him which is a place of authoritie for the best good that any can doe and so the best fruits of loue which he can shew forth to any are such as are done in his owne proper place and by vertue thereof If then an husband relinquish his authoritie he disableth himselfe from doing that good and shewing those fruits of loue which otherwise he might If he abuse his authoritie he turneth the edge and point of his sword amisse in stead of holding it ouer his wife for her protection he turneth it into her bowels to her destruction and so manifesteth thereby more hatred then loue Now then to handle these two seuerally and distinctly I. That an husband ought wisely to maintaine his authoritie is implied vnder this Apostolicall precept Husbands dwell with your wiues according to knowledge that is as such as are well able to maintaine the honour of that place wherein God hath set you not as sots and fooles without vnderstanding The same is also implied vnder the titles of preheminence which the Scripture attributeth to husbands as Lord Master head guide image and glory of God c. The honour and authoritie of God and of his Sonne Christ Iesus is maintained in and by the honour and authoritie of an husband as the Kings authoritie is maintained by the authoritie of his Priuy Councell and other Magistrates vnder him yea as an husbands authoritie is in the family maintained by the authoritie of his wife for as the man is the glory of God so the woman is the glory of the man The good of the wife her selfe is thus also much promoted euen as the good of the body is helped forward by the heads abiding in his place should the head be put vnder any of the parts of the body the body and all the parts thereof could not but receiue much dammage thereby euen so the wife and whole family would feele the dammage of the husbands losse of his authoritie 1. Quest Is it in the power of the husband to maintaine his owne authoritie Answ Yea in his more then in any others for note the counsell of the Apostle to Timothie though in another case yet very pertinent to this purpose Let no man despise thy youth It was therefore in Timothies power to maintaine his honour and not to suffer it to be despised and so is it in an husbands power 2. Quest How may an husband best maintaine his authoritie Answ That direction which the Apostle giueth to Timothie to maintaine his authoritie may fitly be applied for this purpose vnto an husband Be an ensample in conuersation in loue in spirit in faith and in purenesse as if he had said If thou walke before them worthy of thy place and calling and worthy of that honour and respect which is due thereunto shewing forth the fruits of loue faith and other like graces assuredly they will reuerence thy youth but if otherwise thou carrie thy selfe basely and not beseeming a minister thou giuest them iust occasion to despise thee Euen thus may husbands best maintaine their authoritie by being an ensample in loue grauitie pietie honesty c. The fruits of these and other like graces shewed forth by husbands before their wiues and family cannot but worke a reuerend and dutifull respect in their wiues and whole house towards them for by this means they shall more cleerely discerne the image of God shine forth in their faces Obiect Very goodnesse and grace it selfe is hated of wicked and vngodly wiues it was an act of pietie that made Michal despise Dauid Answ 1. Grant it to be so yet this may be a good direction for such husbands as haue not such wicked wiues 2. This doth not alwaies so fall our no nor yet for the most part in those that are wicked true vertue and integritie doth oft cause admiration in such as loue it not 3. Though some be of so crooked and peruerse a disposition as to take occasion of contempt where none is giuen yet shall that husband iustifie himselfe before God and man that carryeth himselfe worthy of his place §. 5. Of husbands losing their authoritie Contrary is their practise who by their profanenesse riotousnesse drunkennesse lewdnesse lightnesse vnthriftinesse and other like base carriage make themselues contemptible and so lose their authoritie though a wife ought not to take these occasions to despise her husband yet is it a iust iudgement on him to be despised seeing he maketh himselfe contemptible Contrary also to the forenamed directions is the sterne rough and cruel carriage of husbands who by violence and tyranny goe about to maintaine their authority Force may indeed cause feare but a slauish feate such a feare as breedeth more hatred then loue more inward contempt then outward respect And contrary is their seruile disposition who against their owne iudgement yeeld to the bent of their wiues minde in such things as are vnlawfull they will lose their authority rather then giue discontent to their wiues which is a fault expresly forbidden by the law and yet a fault whereinto not only wicked Ahab but also wise Salomon fell how heinous a fault and how grieuous a fall this was in Salomon the fearefull issue thereof sheweth Like to him not in wisdome but in this point of egregious folly are such as vpon their wiues instigation suffer Priests and Iesuites to lurke and celebrate Masses in their houses and yeeld to be present thereat themselues Like to Ahab are such Magistrates as suffer their wiues to ouersway them in course of Iustice hence it commeth to passe that more petitions and suites are made to the wiues of Magistrates in the cases of Iustice then to the Magistrates themselues and the fauour of their wiues is more esteemed then their owne so as the power of gouerning and the maine stroke in determining matters is from their wiues they are but the mouthes and instrument of their wiues in so much as among the common people the title of their places and offices is giuen to their wiues Some husbands suffer this by reason of their fearefull and foolish disposition wanting courage and wisdome to maintaine the honour of their places against the
great one a man of place and renoune But who greater then Christ What more worthy patterne If as was shewed the example of the Church be of great force to moue wiues to be subiect to their husbands the example of Christ must needs be of much greater force to moue husbands to loue their wiues A great honour it is to be like vnto Christ and his example is a perfect patterne Two things there be which in Christs example are especially to be noted to moue husbands to loue their wiues 1. That great inequality which is betwixt him and his spouse 2. That small benefit which he reapeth by louing her For the better discerning of that inequality the greatnesse of Christ on the one side and the meanesse of the Church on the other are duly to be weighed Christs greatnesse is in Scripture set forth by comparing him with creatures and the Creator Compared with creatures he is farre more excellent then the most excellent as the Apostle by many arguments proueth in the first chapter to Hebr. that whole chapter is spent in proofe of this point And in another place it is said that He is set farre aboue all principality and power and might and dominion and euery name that is named not only in this world but also in that which is to come Compared with the Creator he is no whit inferiour to him but equall Being the brightnesse of glory and the expresse image of his person and that word of whom it is said In the beginning was the word and the word was with God and the word was God All things were made by him c. So as he is the very Creator himselfe eternall infinite incomprehensible Thus is Christs greatnesse inexplicable The meanesse of the Church is as low on the other side she is a creature fashioned out of the earth proceeding from the loines of corrupt Adam not only finite but in it selfe vile and base The Prophet Ezechiel doth set her forth in her liuely colours as she is in her selfe Compared therefore vnto Christ she is nothing lesse then nothing What equality what proportion can there then be betwixt Christ and her But if man and woman be compared together we shall finde a neere equality and that both in the points of their humiliation and also of their exaltation In regard of the former they are both of the same mould of the same corrupt nature subiect to the same infirmities at length brought to the same end In regard of the latter the best and greatest priuiledges are common to both of them they are both made after the same image redeemed by the same price partakers of the same grace and heires together of the same inheritance Quest What is then the preferment of the male kinde What is the excellency of an husband Answ Only outward and momentany Outward in the things of this world only for in Christ Iesus they are both one Momentany for the time of this life only for in the resurrection they neither marie nor are giuen in mariage but are as the Angels of God in heauen then all subiection of wiues to husbands ceaseth To conclude this point the inequality betwixt Christ and the Church and equality betwixt man and wife being such as hath beene declared seeing Christ vouchsafeth to loue his Church ought not man thereby be moued to loue his wife The other point concerning the small benefit which Christ reapeth by his Church will yet further inforce the point for illustration whereof we will note the great benefit which man reapeth by his wife The benefit which Christ reapeth from the Church is in one word nothing For Christ is in himselfe Al-sufficient he neither needeth any thing nor can receiue any thing If thou be est righteous what giuest thou to him Or what receiueth he of thine hand Yet abundantly he bestoweth all manner of gifts temporall and spirituall earthly and heauenly It was not therefore his owne good that he respected in louing the Church but her good for he being God became man being Lord of heauen and earth he tooke vpon him the forme of a seruant being rich he became poore hauing the Keyes of hell and of death and being the Lord of life he humbled himselfe and became obedient vnto the death thus to shew loue to his Church he left much for her sake but receiued nothing of her But the benefit which man reapeth from a wife is very great for It was not good for a man to be alone in so much as He who findeth a wife findeth a good thing and that in all the points of goodnesse a profitable thing a comfortable thing a delightfull thing They know not the benefit of the maried estate who prefer single life before it especially if the maried estate be ordered by Gods word and man and wife carefull to performe their owne duty each to other To apply this point also and to bring it to the conclusion If Christ who can receiue nothing from the Church notwithstanding loue her ought not men much more to loue their wiues who many waies receiue much good from them and without whom they cannot well be This example of Christ is the rather to be noted because it cleane wipeth away all those false colours and vaine pretences which many alledge as reasons to shew that there is little reason they should loue their wiues some of their pretences are these 1. Their wiues are of a farre meaner ranke then themselues should they then performe duty to their inferiours They commonly who marrie their kitchin maids or others farre vnder their degree alledge this pretence Answ I might reply That mariage aduanceth a wife to the degree of her husband and that it was his owne follie to marrie one so meane but for the purpose and point in hand let any tell me whether the supposed disparitie betwixt them their wiues be in any degree comparable to that which is betwixt Christ and the Church yet Christ thinketh not much to doe duties of loue to his Church 2. There is nothing in their wiues worthy to be loued Answ This very thing that such an one is thy wife is matter enough to make her worthy of loue But what was there in the Church to make her worthy of Christs loue If it be said that she is endued with many excellent graces which make her amiable in Christs sight I answer that of her selfe she hath none of those graces Christ hath bestowed them vpon her and so made her â—miable and thus oughtest thou to endeuour by vsing all good meanes thou canst to make thy wife answerable to thy loue but howsoeuer to loue her 3. Their wiues giue iust occasion to be hated by reason of their beeuishnesse stoutnesse insolencie and other like intolerable â—ices Answ No occasion may seeme iust to moue an husband
face and haue him dwell with him and while his father was in the way he went out to meet him and at first sight fell on his neck and wept a good while a token of great affection That loue which naturally parents beare to their children ought in equitie to breed in children a loue to their parents For loue deserueth loue and most vnworthy are they to be loued who cannot loue againe The loue of parents aboue all others is to be answered with loue on childrens part to the vttermost of their power because it is free great and constant Besides there is a necessitie of loue in children to their parents lest for want thereof their subiection which of all others ought to be most free should turne into slauish seruitude This ought children the rather to labour after because by nature they are nothing so prone to loue their parents as their parents are to loue them Loue is weightie and as weighty things it descendeth Children therefore with conscience of dutie must labour to make supply of this defect and helpe nature by grace I denie not but naturally there is in children a greater loue to their parents then to others yet in comparison of the heat of parents loue to them their loue to their parents is but cold Wherfore as the heat of the Sun shining much and long on a stone wall draweth a reflection of heat from that wall so the hot beames of parents loue which with feruency and constancy is cast on children ought to prouoke and stirre vp children to send forth a reflection of loue on their parents Two extreames are contrary to this affection of loue One is want of naturall affection which is a vice most odious and abominable in all but most of all in children The Apostle reckoneth this among the most heighnous vices that be The other is hatred and despight of parents a vice more then monstrous and vnnaturall From thence commeth mocking and cursing of parents whereof we shall afterwards heare §. 3. Of a childes feare of his parent To the forenamed dutie of loue must feare be added which is a childes awfull respect of his parent This awfull respect ariseth from an honourable esteeme which a childe in his iudgement and opinion hath of his parent as he is his parent and from it proceedeth on the one side a desire and indeauour in all things to please the parent and on the other side a loathnesse to offend him In this respect the feare of a childe is opposed to the feare of a slaue For a childes feare being mixed with loue hath respect to the offence which a parent may take but a slaues feare which is ordinarily mixed with hatred hath respect to nothing but the punishment which his master may inflict vpon him The forenamed feare is so proper to children as that awfull respect which the Saints beare to God is called a siliall or child-like feare This feare in a childe is an especiall branch of that honour which the law requireth of children to their parents and it is in expresse termes inioyned to children by the law That phrase which God vseth of Miriam If her father had but spit in her face should she not be ashamed seuen daies sheweth that there ought to be such a feare of the parent in a childes heart as should worke shame in it when the parent is offended A worthy patterne we haue hereof in Iaakob who was loath to gaine the blessing with offence of his father This feare keepeth loue in compasse and restraineth a childe from ouermuch saucinesse and malipartnesse And it is a cause of a childes reuerend and dutifull carriage to his parent For as the heart is affected the carriage will be ordered Contrary hereunto is that light or which is more abomiâ—nable that base and vile esteeme of parents which is in the heart of many children especially if parents be poore of low degree vnlearned ignorant or subiect to any infirmities It cannot be but that Cham had too light if not a base esteeme of his father when he derided him A true filiall feare would haue restrained him from that extreme Wherefore to breed and cherish this feare and to preuent â—r redresse the contrary extreme let children well informe themselues of their parents place and authoritie how they are in Gods stead and a meanes vnder God of their childrens being children haue receiued their very substance from the subâ—tance of their parents In which respect though they should â—eeme contemptible to others yet not to their children Thus much of a childes inward disposition towards his parent The manifestation thereof must be by his outward carriage and that in two things Reuerence and Obedience both which respect a parents authoritie §. 4. Of a childes Reuerence in refraining speech before his parent and in hearkening to his parent The outward reuerence which children owe to their paâ—â—nts consisteth partly in their speech partly in their carriage Their speech both to and of their parents must sauour reuerence To their parents in presence OF their parents in absence In presence by refraining their speech well framing   For refraining speech two vertues are requisite Silence Patience  Silence in forbearing to speake breaking of speech  Patience in hearkening to their parents The two branches of silence in forbearing to speake espeâ—â—â—lly when parents are speaking or till parents giue leaue to their children to speake and in breaking off speech when parents come into the place where children are speaking are tokens of great reuerence Thus children testifie that there are some in place whom they much respect and honour Iob doth thus set forth the respect which Princes and others did beare to him in his prosperitie The Princes saith he refrained talking and laid their hand vpon their mouth the Nobles held their peace c. Namely while he was in presence or while he spake The like may be said of childrens patience in induring their parents speech which Iob also noteth in these words Vnto me men gaue eare and waited and kept silence Though parents in their speech seeme to be long and tedious yet must children indure it And it is very needfull that patience be added to silence because many parents in tender loue of their children and earnest desire of their good thinke they can neuer speake enough in instructing and admonishing them The many exhortations giuen in Scripture vnto children to heare hearken giue eare giue heed marke and obserue the words of their parents doe imply the forenamed silence and patience for they who ought to be swift to heare must be slow to speake I denie not but much more is intended vnder those phrases namely obedience yet must these also be presupposed for he that will not in silence patiently hearken to his parents while they speake will much lesse obey what they say
then a hundred stripes into a foole and because it may be vsed when it is not so meet to vse strokes and blowes as when children are growne to man-age The many good fruits which the holy Ghost noteth to proceed from due reproofe doe shew that it is a dutie whereof parents ought to make conscience as they desire to promote the good of their children and so much the rather because many good fruits redound to the parents that reproue as well as to the children reproued In regard of their good who are reproued it is said Reproofes for instruction are the way of life they cause vnderstanding and make prudent In regard of their good who reproue it is said To them that rebuke shall be delight that is much comfort and matter of reioycing so as they shall not need to repent what they haue done and a blessing of good shall come vpon them that is either a blessing of good men who will blesse praise and commend them or a blessing of good things and that from the Lord who will reward them for this conscionable performance of their dutie Vpon these grounds holy men haue not spared to rebuke their children as there was occasion Though Eli did somewhat in this duty yet because he was not more seuere therein â—he brought destruction both vpon himselfe and his children The direction noted § 40. and 47. and Treat 4. § 35. may be here applied §. 45. Of parents cockering their children Contrary is their too much doting on children who are â—oth to giue them a foule word Dauid though otherwise a â—very wise man herein manifested much folly for he displeased â—ot Adoniah at any time in saying why hast thou done so and like enough it is that also he so cockered his other rebellious sonne Absolom Note the fearefull issue that followed thereupon both to father and children Though their father would not displease them yet they cared not to displease their father yea to grieue his heart and vex his soule The like may all foolish doting parents looke for at their childrens hands For first parents by neglect of this dutie highly displease God therefore in iust reuenge will God giue their children ouer to displease and vex them Secondly neglect of reproofe is a meanes to make children rude presumptuous rebellious and so carelesse to please their parents Yea all things where in children offend through want of education shall be required at their parents hands §. 46. Of correcting children The latter and more proper kinde of correction which is by stripes and blowes is also a meanes appointed by God to helpe the good nurture and education of children It is the last remedy which a parent can vse a remedy which may doe good when nothing else can It is by the holy Ghost both expresly commanded and also very oft pressed vnder these and such like phrases Châ—sten thy sonne correct thy sonne with-hold not correction from the childe thou shalt smite him with the rod. Were there no other motiue this were sufficient Gods charge was such a motiue to Abraham as at it he would haue sacrificed his sonne and wilt not thou at Gods command correct thy childe It is further commended by Gods owne example which is not only set forth in some particular instances but by his generall constant dealing with all and that as an especiall token and fruit of his loue For whom the Lord loueth he chasteneth and scourgeth euery sonne whom he receiueth If ye be without chastisement wherof all are partakers then are ye bastards and not sonnes Let this example of God be well weighed for it is of great weight Who can better tell what kinde of dealing is fittest for children then God Who can better nurture children then God Who doth more truly aime at and procure the good of children then God Yea who doth more tender children then God If God the father of spirits in wisdome and loue thus deale with his children fathers of the flesh may not thinke by the contrary to shew wisdome or loue Their wisdome will be folly their loue hatred Vpon these grounds it is taken for a thing granted that parents who tender the good of their children as they should doe chastise their children as need requireth for it is said that the Lord correcteth whom he loueth as a father the sonne in whom he delighteth If parents vsed it not this were no good inference to say as a father againe as a thing without controuersie it is said we haue had fathers of our flesh which corrected vs. The grounds of the equitie of this dutie respect partly the children corrected and partly the parents that correct In regard of children it freeth them from much euill and worketh in them much good Correction is as physicke to purge out much corruption which lurketh in children and as a salue to heale many wounds and sores made by their folly In which respect Solomon saith that Foolishnesse is bound in the heart of a childe but the rod of correction shall driue it farre from him and againe The blewnesse of a wound is a purging medicine against euill so doe stripes the inward parts of the belly In regard of the inward operation of this physicke correction is further said to preserue a childe from death if thou beatest him he shall not die and that not only from temporall death as many children are thus preserued from the Magistrates sword but also from eternall death thou shalt deliuer his soule from hell Note this ye cockering parents whose ouer-much lenitie is very great crueltie For may we not iustly count him a cruell parent that should suffer diseases boiles sores and wounds to remaine increase and fester in his childe and giue him no physicke nor apply any plaisters or medicines to him Nay rather who seeth his sonne running into a flaming fire or deepe water and would not hold him backe Euen so cruell and more cruell are they who suffer their children to runne on in euill rather then correct them Obiect Who can endure to make his owne childe smart and to put him to paine Answ The future fruit is more to be considered then the present paine Potions pills and corasiues are fulsome bitter and painfull but because there is a necessitie of vsing them and great mischiefe is preuented by the vse of them wise parents will not forbeare them for the sensible bitternesse and paine Fitly doth the Apostle thus answer that obiection No chastning for the present seemeth to be ioyous but grieuous neuerthelesse afterward it yeeldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousnesse This may be applied to parents corrections as well as to Gods The good which correction bringeth to children is by Solomon noted in this and such like phrases The rod giueth wisdome for it maketh children obserue what is good and what euill what commendable and what
OF DOMESTICALL DVTIES Eight Treatises I. An Exposition of that part of Scripture out of which Domesticall Duties are raised II. 1. A right Coniunction of Man and Wife 2. Common-mutuall Duties betwixt Man and Wife III. Particular Duties of Wiues IV. Particular Duties of Husbands V. Duties of Children VI. Duties of Parents VII Duties of Seruants VIII Duties of Masters By WILLIAM GOVGE LONDON Printed by Iohn Haviland for William Bladen and are to be sold at the signe of the Bible neere the great North doore of Pauls 1622. TO THE RIGHT HONOVRABLE RIGHT VVorshipfull and other my beloued Parishioners Inhabitants of the Precinct of Black-friers LONDON such sufficiencie of Grace as may bring them to fulnesse of Glory IF noble Birth high Honour great Estate true Piety bountifull Charity good Esteeme of Gods word and Ministers and in particular intire loue of the Author be inducements to choose a Patron for his worke I for my part need not goe farre for a Patron In mine owne parish are all these To you therefore right Honourable right Worshipfull and other my beloued Parishioners most worthy of all due respect doe I dedicate these my poore paines about Domesticall Duties To testifie the equall dutie which I owe and the impartiall respect which I beare to you all I make you all as one Patron You were the first ouer whom I euer had any ministeriall charge To this charge by your free choice was I called Among you haue I spent almost two full prentiships You haue alwaies so accepted my paines and respected my person as I neuer had any cause to repent my acceptance of this place and calling but rather to thanke God for the same My desire is if so it may seeme good to the diuine prouidence to spend all my daies among you and while I am among you to helpe forward your spirituall edification This is the maine end of my calling and the marke which as in the ordinary course of my Ministry so in the publishing of these Eight Treatises of Domesticall Duties and dedicating them to you I haue aimed at As in testimony of Loue and Dutie I haue preached in your hearing and published in your name these Duties so doe you manifest your kinde acceptance of my former and latter paines by a conscionable obseruing of them so farre forth as they are agreeable to Gods word that all who know you may know by that euident demonstration how well you haue relished and approued them Thus shall you gaine much profit and my selfe much comfort by my paines Oh if the head and seuerall members of a family would be perswaded euery of them to be conscionable in performing their owne particular duties what a sweet society and happy harmony would there be in houses What excellent seminaries would families be to Church and Common-wealth Necessary it is that good order be first set in families for as they were before other polities so they are somewhat the more necessary and good members of a family are like to make good members of Church and common-wealth The subiect matter therefore of these Treatises is worth the handling if I were able according to the worth thereof to handle it I haue endeuoured to doe what I could therein though I haue not attained to what I would Be you like vnto God who if there be first a willing mind accepteth according to that a man hath and not according to that he hath not Though for such a matter as is handled in these Treatises the worke may seeme at first sight to be too copious yet I hope the obseruant Reader will not finde it too tedious It is the variety of many not the prolixity of few points which hath made this booke to swell to that bignesse which it hath The first Treatise which is a fourth part of the booke containeth a Commentary on that part of Scripture out of which Domesticall Duties are raised wherein the Apostle setting forth Christ and the Church as patternes to husbands and wiues liuely declareth the great loue of Christ to his Church and the neere vnion betwixt them together with other deepe mysteries the vnfolding whereof hath a little the longer detained me But as I haue a while insisted on maine matters of much moment so haue I very briefly passed ouer other points The other Treatises wherein the Duties themselues are handled are euery of them much shorter then the first In them I haue barely propounded and briefly proued the truth and equity of the seuerall duties except some choice points which are of especiall vse or at least through disuse much questioned and them I haue more largely handled And because contraries laid together doe much set forth each other in their liuely colours I haue to euery duty annexed the contrary fault and aberration from it For many that heare the duties thinke all well enough till they heare also the contrary vices whereby in their consciences they are most conuinced Concerning the many faults and vices of bad Husbands Wiues Parents Children Masters and Seruants taxed in these Treatises let me intreat you not to apply them too generally to all Husbands Wiues Parents Children Masters and Seruants Hath not wise Solomon much taxed the lightnesse shrewishnesse pride flattery and other vices of women And shall sober meeke humble honest women thinke themselues taxed thereby By like reason might vnchaste strumpets vntrusty gossips vnquiet shrewes and proud dames thinke themselues commended by those excellent commendations which be giueth of good women Let euery one as their conscience an impartiall Iudge shall beare them witnesse make a right application of euery thing to themselues Thus shall we Ministers be freed from many euill surmizes I remember that when these Domesticall Duties were first vttered out of the pulpit much exception was taken against the application of a wiues subiection to the restraining of her from disposing the common goods of the family without or against her husbands consent But surely they that made those exceptions did not well thinke of the Cautions and Lamitations which were then deliuered and are now againe expresly noted which are that the foresaid restraint be not extended to the proper goods of a wife no nor ouerstrictly to such goods as are set apart for the vse of the family nor to extraordinary cases nor alwaies to an expresse consent nor to the consent of such husbands as are impotent or farre and long absent If any other warrantable caution shall be shewed me I will be as willing to admit it as any of these Now that my meaning may not still be peruerted I pray you in reading the restraint of wiues power in disposing the goods of the family euer beare in minde those Cautions Other exceptions were made against some other particular duties of wiues For many that can patiently enough heare their duties declared in generall termes cannot endure to heare those generals exemplified in their particular branches
pure cheerefull constant for conscience sake § 54 55 c. TREAT IV.  Particular duties of Husbands  WJsdome and Loue the generall heads of all husbands duties § 2 4.  1 Acknowledgment of a wiues neere coniunction and fellowship with her husband § 6. 2 A good esteeme of his owne wise to be the best for him and worthy of loue on his part § 9. 3 An inward intire affection § 11. 4 An outward amiable cariage towards his wife which consisteth in an husband-like grauitie mildnesse courteous acceptance of her curtesie and allowing her to weare fit apparell § 4 15 22 40 49. 5 Milde and louing speech to and of his wife § 24 25 26 c. 6 A wise maintaining his authoritie and forbearing to exact all that is in his power § 4 18. 7 A ready yeelding to his wiues request and giuing a generall consent and libertie vnto her to order the affaires of the house children seruants c. And a free allowing her something to bestow as she seeth occasion § 18 54. 8 A forbearing to exact more then his wife is willing to doe or to force her to dwell where it is not meet or to enioyne her to doe things vnmeet in themselues or against her minde § 18 26. 9 A wise ordering of reproofe not vsing it without iust and weighty cause and then priuatly and meekly § 35 38. 10 A prouident care for his wife according to his abilitie § 46 49 50 52. 11 A forbearing to exact any thing which stands not with a good conscience § 26. 12 Such a loue as Christ beareth to the Church and man to himselfe which is first free in deed and truth pure chaste constant § 61 c. and 74. TREAT III.  Aberrations of Wiues from their particular duties  AMbition the generall ground of the aberrations of wiues § 2.  1 A conceit that wiues are their husbands equals § 4. 2 A conceit that she could better subiect her selfe to any other man then to her owne husband § 6. 3 An inward despising of her husband § 8. 4 Vnreuerend behauiour towards her husband manifested by lightnesse fullennesse scornfulnes and vanitie in her attire § 9 10 11 12. 5 Vnreuerend speech to and of her husband § 13 14 15 16. 6 A stout standing on her owne will § 17. 7 A peremptorie vndertaking to doe things as she list without and against her husbands consent This is manifested by priuie purloyning his goods taking allowance ordering children seruants and cattell feasting strangers making iourneyes and vowes as her selfe listeth § 42. 8 An obstinate standing vpon her owne will making her husband dwell where she will and refusing to goe when he calls or to doe any thing vpon his command § 44 45 46 67. 9 Disdaine at reproofe giuing word for word and waxing worse for being reproued § 47 48. 10 Discontent at her husbands estate § 50. 11 Such a pleasing of her husband as offendeth Christ § 53. 12 Such a subiection as is most vnlike to the Churches viz. fained forced fickle c. § 56 c. TREAT IV.  Aberrations of Husbands from their particular duties  WAnt of wisdome and loue the generall ground of the aberrations of husbands § 3 5.  1 Too meane account of wiues § 8. 2 A preposterous conceit of his owne wife to be the worst of all and that he could loue any but her § 10. 3 A Stoicall disposition without all heat of affection § 12. 4 An vnbeseeming cariage towards his wife manifested by his basenesse tyrannicall vsage of her loftinesse harshnesse and niggardlinesse § 5 15 17 41 44 53. 5 Harsh proud and bitter speeches to and of his wife § 24 25 30 32 36 39. 6 Losing of his authoritie § 5. 7 Too much strictnesse ouer his wife This is manifested by restraining her from doing any thing without particular and expresse consent taking too strict account of her and allowing her no more then is needfull for her owne priuate vse § 19 55. 8 Too lordly a standing vpon the highest step of his authoritie being too frequent insolent and peremptorie in commanding things friuolous vnmeet and against his wiues minde and conscience § 30 32. 9 Rashnesse and bitternesse in reprouing and that too frequently on sleight occasions and disgracefully before children seruants and strangers § 36 38 39. 10 A carelesse neglect of his wife and niggardly dealing with her and that in her weaknesse § 46 51 53 11 A commanding of vnlawfull things § 26 30 32. 12 Such a disposition as is most vnlike to Christs and to that which a man beareth to himselfe viz. complementall impure for by-respects vnconstant c. § 62 c. and 74. A Table of the seuerall points handled in the eight Treatises of Domesticall Duties I. TREATISE An exposition of that part of Scripture out of which domesticall duties are raised § 1 OF the Apostles transition from generall duties to particulars pag. 1 2 Of ioyning seruice to men with praising of God 2 3 Of euery ones submitting himselfe to another 4 4 Of the feare of God 8 5 Of the feare of God mouing vs to doe seruice to men 11 6 Of limiting all dutie to man within the compasse of the feare of God 13 7 Of performing the duties of particular callings 16 8 Of the lawfulnesse of priuate functions in a family 17 9 Of the Apostles order in laying downe the duties of husbands and wiues in the first place 20 10 Of the Apostles order in setting downe inferiours duties in the first place 21 11 Of the reasons why wiues duties are first taught 25 12 Of wiues subiection 26 13 Of the persons to whom wiues must be subiect 27 14 How an husband is his wiues head 29 15 Of the resemblance of an husband to Christ 30 16 Of the resemblance betwixt The Church to Christ 31 A wife to her husband   17 Of the relation betwixt Christ and the Church 32 18 Of the benefit of Christs headship 34 19 Of Christ a sufficient Sauiour 35 20 Of Christ the only Sauiour 36 21 Of the Church the body of Christ 38 22 Of the extent of Christs goodnesse to all his body 38 23 Of the restraint of the benefit of Christs headship to them only that are of his body 40 24 Of the Churches subiection to Christ 41 25 Of the extent of the Churches subiection 42 26 Of the summe of husbands duties 43 27 Of the example of Christs loue 44 28 Of Christs giuing himselfe 46 29 Of the willingnesse of Christ to die 47 30 Of the kinde of Christs death and oblation 48 31 Of the infinite value of the price of our redemption 48 32 Of Christs seeking the good of the Church 50 33 Of the particular ends why Christ gaue himselfe and of the condition of the Church before Christ tooke her 51 34 Of Christs preuenting grace 54 35 Of Christs seeking to make his Church pure 55 36 Of
203 20 Of clandestine mariages 205 21 Of a ciuill celebrating of mariage 206 22 Of ill or well ordering mariage feasts 206 23 Of the honour of mariage in regard of the first institution thereof 208 24 Of the ends of mariage 209 25 Of the priuiledges of mariage 210 26 Of the mysterie of mariage 211 27 Of mariage and single life compared together 211 28 Of celebrating mariage with sorrow 212 II. TREATISE PART II. Of common mutuall duties betwixt man and wife § 1. OF the heads of those common mutuall duties 213 2 Of matrimoniall vnitie 214 3 Of desertion 215 4 Of matrimoniall chastitie 216 5 Of adultery 218 6 Of pardoning adultery vpon repentance 218 7 Of the difference of adulterie in a man and in a wife 219 8 Of the hainousnesse of adulterie 219 9 Of remedies against adulterie and in particular of due beneuolence and of defect or excesse therein 221 10 Of mutuall loue betwixt man and wife 224 11 Of husbands and wiues mutuall hatred contrary to loue 227 12 Of mutuall peace betwixt man and wife 228 13 Of contentions betwixt man and wife 230 14 Of husbands and wiues dwelling together 230 15 Of the respects for which man and wife may for a time liue asunder 231 16 Of the error of Papists about man and wiues separation 232 17 Of husbands and wiues vnlawfull absenting themselues one from another 234 18 Of husbands and wiues mutuall prayers 235 19 Of the things for which husbands and wiues are to pray alone 236 20 Of husbands and wiues hatefull imprecations and wishes one against another 237 21 Of husbands and wiues neglect of mutuall prayer 238 22 Of husbands and wiues mutuall care for one anothers saluation 238 23 Of husbands and wiues care to winne one the other when one of them is not called 239 24 Of husbands and wiues edifying one another 240 25 Of husbands and wiues hindering sinne one in another 240 26 Of husbands and wiues redressing sinne in one another 242 27 Of husbands and wiues helping forward the growth of grace in each other 242 28 Of the sinnes of husbands and wiues contrary to a mutuall care of one anothers saluation 243 29 Of husbands and wiues mutuall care ouer one anothers body 245 30 Of husbands and wiues backwardnesse to helpe one another in time of neede 246 31 Of husbands and wiues mutuall respects of one anothers good name 247 32 Of husbands and wiues preuenting each others discredit 248 33 Of the wisdome of husbands and wiues in redressing one anothers ill name 249 34 Of husbands and wiues care in procuring one anothers good name 249 35 Of husbands and wiues wisdome in preseruing each others good name 250 36 Of husbands and wiues like affection towards one anothers credit 250 37 Of the vices contrary to that mutuall care which man and wife should haue of one anothers credit 251 38 Of husbands and wiues mutuall prouidence about the goods of the family 253 39 Of the vices contrary to the good prouidence of husbands and wiues about the goods of the family 255 40 Of husbands and wiues ioynt care in gouerning the family 256 41 Of the vices contrary to a ioynt care of gouerning the family 260 42 Of husbands and wiues mutuall helpe in hospitality 261 43 Of vices contrary to mutuall helpe in hospitality 263 44 Of husbands and wiues mutuall helpe in releeuing the poore 264 45 Of husbands and wiues vnmercifulnesse to the poore 265 III. TREATISE Of wiues particular Duties § 1. OF the generall heads of this treatise 267 2 Of a wiues subiection in generall 268 3 Of an husbands superiority ouer a wife to be acknowledged by a wife 269 4 Of a fond conceit that husband and wife are equall 271 5 Of a wiues acknowledgment of her owne husbands superiority 272 6 Of wiues denying honour to their owne husbands 273 7 Of a wiues inward fâ—are of her husband 274 8 Of a wiues base esteeme of her husband 275 9 Of wiue-like sobriety 277 10 Of wiue-like mildnesse 278 11 Of wiue-like courtefie and obeysance 279 12 Of wiue-like modesty in apparell 280 13 Of a wiues reuerend speech to her husband 281 14 Of the titles which wiues giue their husbands 282 15 Of wiues meekenesse in their speeches 284 16 Of a wiues speech of her husband in his absence 285 17 of a wiues obedience in generall 286 18 Of the cases wherein a wife hath power to order things of the house without her husbands consent 287 19 Of diuers kinds of consent 288 20 Of the things whereabout a wife must haue her husbands consent 290 21 Of the things which a wife may dispose without her husbands consent 291 22 Of a wiues liberty in extraordinary matters 292 23 Of a wiues restraint in disposing goods without consent of her husband and of the ground of that restraint 293 24 Of the example of the Shunemite in asking her husbands consent 294 25 Of the law of a wiues vow 294 26 Of humane lawes which restraine wiues from disposing goods without or against their husbands consent 296 27 Of the inconueniences which may follow vpon a wiues disposing goods without or against her husbands consent 297 28 Of propertie in goods whether it giue liberty to dispose them as a wife will 298 29 Of the reasons against a wiues property in the common goods of the family 299 30 Of answers to the reasons for a wiues property 301 31 Of the priuiledges of wiues aboue children and seruants in and about the goods of the family 302 32 Of examples and other reasons alleadged for liberty of wiues to dispose goods 302 33 Of the subiection of wiues in distributing goods to charitable vses 304 34 Of generall exhortations to workes of mercy how farre they binde wiues 305 35 Of obedience to an husband in such things as he sinfully forbiddeth 305 36 Of Zipporahs case in circumcising her son 306 37 Of the wife of Chuzas case in ministring to Christ 307 38 Of the restraint of wiues about allowance for themselues or families without their husbands consent 308 39 Of a wiues subiection to her husband about children 309 40 Of a wiues subiection to her husband about ordering seruants and beasts 310 41 Of a wiues subiection in entertaining strangers iournying abroad and making vowes 311 42 Of aberrations contrary to wiues subiection in doing things without or against their husbands consent 312 43 Of a wiues actiue obedience 315 44 Of a wiues willingnesse to dwell where her husband will 315 45 Of a wiues readinesse to come to her husband when he requires it 317 46 Of a wiues readinesse to doe what her husband requireth 319 47 Of a wiues meeke taking a reproofe 319 48 Of a wiues readinesse to redresse what her husband iustly reproueth in her 322 49 Of a wiues contentment with her husbands present estate 323 50 Of a wiues discontent at her husbands estate 324 51 Of cases wherein a wife ought not to forbeare what her
husband forbiddeth 325 52 Of cases wherein a wife ought to forbeare what her husband requireth 328 53 Of wiues faults in shewing more respect to their husbands then to God 329 54 Of the manner of a wiues subiection to her husband 329 55 Of wiues humility in euery duty 331 56 Of wiues pride 331 57 Of wiues sincerity in euery duty 332 58 Of wiues complement all subiection 334 59 Of wiues cheerefulnesse in euery duty 334 60 Of wiues sullen and forced obedience 334 61 Of wiues constancy in doing their duty 335 62 Of wiues repenting their former goodnesse 335 63 Of the extent of a wiues obedience 336 64 Of a wiues labouring to bring her iudgement to the bent of her husbands 337 65 Of wiues ouerweining conceit of their owne wisdome 338 66 Of a wiues yeelding to her husband in such things as she thinketh not to be the meetest 338 67 Of wiues making their owne will their law 339 68 Of care in choosing such husbands as wiues may without griese be subiect vnto 340 69 Of the reasons to moue wiues to doe their duties 341 70 Of an husbands place 342 71 Of an husbands office 343 72 Of the resemblance betwixt Christ and an husband 344 73 Of the benefit which a wife hath by an husband 346 74 Of the example of the Church set before wiues 347 IV. TREATISE Of Husbands particular duties § 1 OF the generall heads of this treatise 349 2 Of that loue which husbands owe their wiues 350 3 Of an husbands hatred and want of loue 352 4 Of an husbands wise maintaining his authority 353 5 Of husbands losing their authority 355 6 Of husbands high account of wiues 356 7 Of that fellowship which is betwixt man and wife notwithstanding a wiues inferiority 357 8 Of husbands too meane account of wiues 358 9 Of husbands good esteeme of their owne wiues 358 10 Of husbands preposterous opinion of their owne wiues 359 11 Of husbands intire affection to their wiues 360 12 Of the stoicall disposition of husbands to their wiues 362 13 Of an husbands kinde acceptance of such things as his wife doth 362 14 Of husbands fleighting and reiecting their wiues goodnesse 363 15 Of husbands courteous accepting their wiues reuerend cariage 364 16 Of husbands ready yeelding to their wiues humble suits 365 17 Of husbands harshnesse to their wiues 365 18 Of husbands forbearing to exact all that they may 366 19 Of husbands too much strictnesse towards their wiues 368 20 Of husbands encouraging their wiues in good things 369 21 Of husbands vngratefull discouraging their wiues 370 22 Of an husbands mildnesse 370 23 Of husbands bitternesse 371 24 Of the titles which an husband giueth to his wife 371 25 Of an husbands manner of instructing his wife 372 26 Of an husbands manner of commanding his wife any thing 373 27 Of an husbands wise cariage when his wife is erroneously scrupulous 375 28 Of an husbands forbearing to presse things vnbeseeming a wiues place 376 29 Of an husbands pressing his authority in weighty matters 376 30 Of husbands too great pride in commanding 377 31 Of husbands rare and milde vsing their commanding power 378 32 Of husbands insolency and peremptorinesse 378 33 Of an husbands reprouing his wife 379 34 Of neglecting reproofe 379 35 Of well ordering reproofe in the matter thereof 379 36 Of vndue reproofe 381 37 Whether an husband may reproue his wife for such things as he is guilty of 382 38 Of well ordering reproofe in the manner thereof 382 39 Of vndiscreet reproouing a wife 385 40 Of an husbands amiable countenance towards his wife 386 41 Of husbands too great austerity 387 42 Of an husbands familiar gesture with his wife 388 43 Of an husbands giuing fauours to his wife 389 44 Of husbands beating their wiues 389 45 Of an husbands bearing with his wiues infirmities 393 46 Of an husbands prouident care for his wife 396 47 Of an husbands prouiding meanes of spirituall edification for his wife 397 48 Of neglecting their wiues edification 398 49 Of an husbands prouiding things needfull for his wiues body 399 50 Of an husbands prouident care for his wife about her childe-bearing 399 51 Of neglecting wiues in their weaknesse 401 52 Of an husbands prouiding for his wife according to his estate and ability 402 53 Of an husbands niggardlinesse to his wife 402 54 Of husbands allowing their wiues to bestow on others as they see good occasion 403 55 Of husbands too great straitnesse ouer their wiues 405 56 Of an husbands care to prouide for his wife so long as she shall liue 406 57 Of husbands neglect of their wiues future estate 407 58 Of an husbands protecting his wife from danger 408 59 Of an husbands maintaining his wife against children of a former venter and seruants 409 60 Of neglecting to maintaine their wiues 410 61 Of an husbands first beginning to loue his wife 412 62 Of an husbands repaying vnkindnes for loue 413 63 Of the truth of husbands loue 414 64 Of husbands dissimulation 414 65 Of the freenesse of husbands loue 415 66 Of husbands louing for aduantage 415 67 Of the purity of husbands loue 415 68 Of husbands lightnesse 416 69 Of husbands louing their wiues more then themselues 417 70 Of husbands vnkindnesse 417 71 Of combats in pretence of wiues honour 417 72 Of husbands constancy in loue 418 73 Of husbands variablenesse 419 74 Of husbands louing their wiues as themselues 419 75 Of Christs example a motiue to prouoke husbands to loue their wiues 422 76 Of a mans loue to himselfe a motiue to prouoke him to loue his wife 426 V. TREATISE Of childrens duties § 1 OF the generall heads of childrens duties 427 2 Of childrens loue to their parents 428 3 Of a childes feare of his parents 430 4 Of a childes reuerence in refraining speech before his parent and in hearkning to his parent 431 5 Of a childes reuerend framing his speech to his parent 433 6 Of the vices in children contrary to the forenamed reuerence in speech 434 7 Of childrens reuerend speeches of their parents 435 8 Of a childes reuerend cariage to his parent 436 9 Of childrens asking their parents blessing whether it be lawfull or no. 437 10 Of the vices contrary to childrens reuerend gesture towards their parents 439 11 Of childrens obedience 441 12 Of childrens forbearing to doe things without consent of parents 442 13 Of consent of parents for childrens entring into a calling 443 14 Of the vnlawfulnesse of childrens entring into religious orders without consent of parents 443 15 Of the vnlawfulnesse of childrens trauelling and binding themselues prentises without consent of parents 446 16 Of parents consent to the mariage of their children 446 17 Of the equity of the point and reasons why children should haue their parents consent vnto their mariage 449 18 Of a childes carriage in case a parent prouide an vnfit mate or none at all 449 19 Of the sinne of children
strucken with such an inward awe and reuerence as it would not for any thing displease his Maiestie but rather doe whatsoeuer it may know to be pleasing and acceptable vnto him For these are two effects which arise from this kinde of feare of God 1. A carefull endeuour to please God in which respect good king Iehosaphat hauing exhorted his Iudges to execute the iudgement of the Lord aright addeth this clause as a motiue thereunto Let the feare of the Lord be vpon you implying thereby that Gods feare would make them endeuour to approue themselues to God 2. A carefull auoiding of such things as offend the Maiesty of God and grieue his spirit in which respect the Wiseman saith The feare of the Lord is to hate euill and of Iob it is said that he fearing God departed from euill Sometimes againe awe and dread of the diuine Maiestie ariseth from diffidence For when a mans heart doubteth of Gods mercy and expecteth nothing but vengeance the very thought of God striketh an awe or rather dread into him and so maketh him feare God From this double cause of feare whereof one is contrary to another hath arisen that vsuall distinction of a filiall or sonne-like feare and a seruile or slauish feare which distinction is grounded on these words of the Apostle ye haue not receiued the spirit of bondage againe to feare this is a seruile feare but ye haue receiued the spirit of adoption whereby we cry Abba father this causeth a filiall feare The filiall feare is such a feare as dutifull children beare to their fathers But the seruile feare is such an one as bondslaues beare to their masters A sonne feareth simply to offend or displease his father so as it is accompanied with loue A bondslaue feareth nothing but the punishment of his offence so as it is ioyned with hatred and such an one feareth not to sinne but to burne in hell for sinne Faithfull Abraham like a gratious childe feared God as Gods Angell beareth witnesse Gen. 22. 12. when he was ready rather to sacrifice his only sonne then offend God by refusing to obey his commandement But faithlesse Adam like a seruile bondslaue feared God as he himselfe testifieth against himselfe Gen. 3 10. when after he had broken Gods commandement he hid himselfe from the presence of God This slauish feare is a plaine diabolicall feare for the deuils so feare as they tremble It maketh men wish there were no hell no day of Iudgement no Iudge yea no God This is that feare without which we must serue the Lord. In this feare to submit ones selfe is nothing acceptable to God It is therefore the filiall feare which is here meant Secondly of this feare God is the proper obiect as by this and many more testimonies of Scripture is euident where the feare of God and of the Lord is mentioned This feare hath so proper a relation vnto God as the Scripture stileth God by a kinde of proprietie with this title Feare for where Iaakob mentioneth the feare of Isaak he meaneth the Lord whom Isaak feared It is then vnlawfull to feare any but God No Men also may be feared as Princes Parents Masters and other superiours For the Apostle exhorting to giue euery one their due giueth this instance feare to whom feare is due But yet may God notwithstanding be said to be the proper obiect of feare because all the feare that any way is due to any creature is due to him in and for the Lord whose image he carrieth so as in truth it is not so much the person of a man as the image of God placed in him by vertue of some authoritie or dignitie appertaining to him which is to be feared If there should fall out any such opposition betwixt God and man as in fearing man our feare would be withdrawne from God then the rule of Christ is to take place which is this feare not them which kill the body but are not able to kill the soule but rather feare him which is able to destroy both soule and body in hell Thirdly the extent of this true filiall feare of God is very large No one point throughout the whole Scripture is more vrged than this feare of the Lord. It is oft added to other duties as that whereby they are seasoned and without which they cannot well be performed wherefore we are commanded to serue the Lord in feare to perfect holinesse in the feare of God to worke out our saluation with feare and the Churches are commended for walking in the feare of the Lord so likewise particular men as Abram Ioseph Iob and many other yea the whole worship of God is oft comprised vnder this branch of feare whereupon our Sauiour Christ alleaging this text thou shalt feare the Lord thy God thus expresseth it thou shalt worship the Lord thy God And againe where the Lord by his Prophet Isay saith Their feare toward me is taught by the precept of men Christ thus quoteth that text In vaine doe they worship me teaching for doctrines the commandements of men out of which places compared together it is euident that vnder the feare of God is comprised the worship of God Yea all that dutie which we owe to God and man is comprised vnder this title the feare of God for Dauid when he would in one word declare the summe and substance of all that which a Minister ought to teach his people saith I will teach you the feare of the Lord. Fourthly The reason why the Holy Ghost so much vrgeth the feare of God and that in so large an extent as hath beene shewed I take to be this to shew a difference betwixt that integritie and perfection of Gods image which was at mans creation first planted in him and the renouation thereof while here he liueth in this world So compleat and perfect was then Gods image in man as he needed no other motiue to prouoke him to any dutie but loue Wherefore when the Holy Ghost would set forth that perfection of Gods image first planted in man he addeth this title Loue vnto other duties whether they concerne God or man Concerning God Moses exhorteth Israel to loue the Lord and serue him and againe to loue the Lord to walke in his waies to keepe his commandements c. Concerning man the Apostle exhorteth to serue one another by loue and to doe all things in loue Yea sometimes the Holy Ghost is pleased to comprise all duties vnder loue In which respect Christ calleth this commandement Thou shalt loue the Lord the great commandement which compriseth all the commandements of the first table vnder it and for the second table S. Paul saith that loue is the fulfilling of the law But by Adams fall and the corruption which thereby infected mans
this body nor to haue any part in Christ their future estate being referred to him who only knoweth what it shall be §. 25. Of the extent of the Churches subiection The extent of the Churches subiection to Christ is without any restraint at all in every thing For there is nothing which Christ requireth of her but she may with a good conscience and must in obedience yeeld unto Iust and pure and perfect are all his commandements there is no error in any of them no mischiefe or inconuenience can follow vpon the keeping of them This extent being here taken for grant I may further inferre that They who are of the true Catholike Church will yeeld vniuersall obedience to Christ they will obey him in all and euery of his commandements Dauid turned not aside from any thing that the Lord commanded him Iosiah turned to the Lord with all his heart according to all the law and Zacharias and Elizabeth walked in all the commandements of God All these were of this Church and of their minde are all others that are of this Church For the spirit of Christ which is in them worketh a thorow reformation euen as the flesh leadeth a naturall man on to euery sinne so the spirit of Christ stirreth him vp to euery good duty In which respect it is said that whosoeuer is borne of God doth not commit sinne Obiect The best Saints in all ages haue transgressed in many things Answ Their sinnes though grieuous haue not wilfully in open rebellion against Christ beene committed but they haue slipped from them partly through their owne weaknesse and partly through the violence of some temptation So as that which the Apostle saith of himselfe may be applied to all that are of the body of Christ That which I doe I allow not Now then is it no more I that doe it but the sinne that dwelleth in me This extent is a good proofe of the truth of subiection for herein lieth a maine difference betwixt the vpright and the hypocrite yea betwixt restraining and renewing grace That restraining grace which is in many hypocrites stirreth them to doe many things which Christ commandeth if at least they crosse not their honour profit ease and the like Herod that notorious hypocrite did many things None that beareth the name of the Church but will be subiect in somethings But none but the vpright who are indeed renewed by the sanctifying spirit of Christ will in all things make Christs will their rule and in euery thing hold close to it preferring it before their pleasure profit preferment or any other outward allurement They who so doe giue good euidence that they are of the body of Christ and may rest vpon it that Christ is their Sauiour §. 26. Of the summe of Husbands duties EPHES. 5. 25. 25. Husbands loue your Wiues euen as Christ also loued the Church and gaue himselfe for it FRom Wiues duties the Apostle proceedeth to presse Husbands duties And as he propounded to Wiues for a patterne the example of the Church so to Husbands he propoundeth the example of Christ and addeth thereunto the patterne of a mans selfe in regard of that naturall affection which he beareth to his body Thus he addeth patterne to patterne and doth the more largely and earnestly presse them because husbands hauing a more honourable place their failing in duty is the more hainous scandalous and dangerous The Apostle restraineth the duties of Husbands to their owne Wiues as he did the duties of Wiues to their owne Husbands For though the same word be not here vsed which was before yet a word of like emphasis is vsed and as good reason there is that our English translators should haue put in this particle owne in this verse as in the 22. verse for proofe whereof read 1 Cor. 7. 2. Where these two words are vsed and both of them translated owne This I haue the rather noted because many who hold that a Wife must haue but one Husband conceit that a Husband may haue more Wiues then one which conceit this particle owne wipeth away All the duties of an Husband are comprised vnder this one word Loue. Wherein that an Husband might be the better directed and whereto that he might be the rather prouoked the forenamed example of Christ and of his loue to the Church is very liuely set forth first generally in these words euen as Christ loued the Church and then more particularly in the words following §. 27. Of the example of Christs loue The note of comparison Euen as requireth no equality as if it were possible for an Husband in that measure to loue his wife as Christ loued his Church for as Christ in excellency and greatnesse exceedeth man so in loue and tendernesse But it noteth an equity and like quality An equitie because there is as great reason that Husbands by vertue of their place should loue their Wiues as that Christ by vertue of his place should loue the Church A like quality because the loue which Christ beareth to the Church is euery way without exception and a loue which turneth to the good and benefit of the Church Hence note two points 1. Husbands must come as neare as they can to Christ in louing their wiues In which respect because they can neuer loue so much as Christ did they must neuer thinke they haue loued enough 2. Though their loue in measure cannot equall Christs loue yet in the manner thereof it must be like Christs a preuenting true free pure exceeding constant loue The measure and manner of Christs loue is distinctly noted Treat 4. § 61. c. and the loue which an husband oweth his wife paralleld applied therto which application may be also made of that Christian mutuall loue which we owe one to another The loue of Christ to the Church is amplified 1. By an Effect thereof in these words He gaue himselfe for it 2. By the End of that effect largely set downe verse 26 27. The effect is noted partly as a Confirmation of the truth of Christs loue Declaration of the measure   The Act he gaue sheweth that his loue was in deed and truth not only in shew and pretence The Object himselfe sheweth that he loued his Church more then his owne life A greater euidence of loue could not be giuen for greater loue hath no man then this that a man lay downe his life for his friend The end of Christs loue set forth vers 26 27. is noted to shew that he so loued his Church for her good and happinesse rather then for any aduantage to himselfe As this example of Christs loue to his Church is set before husbands so it may and ought also to be applied to all Christians and that in a double respect 1. As a motiue to stirre them vp to loue both Christ himselfe and also their brethren 2. As a
patterne to teach them how to loue A motiue it is to loue Christ because loue deserueth loue especially such a loue of such a person as the loue of Christ is Yea our loue of Christ is an euidence that we are loued of Christ as smoake is a signe of fire Wherefore both in thankfulnesse to Christ for his loue to vs and for assurance to our owne soules of Christs loue to vs we ought in all things that we can to testifie our loue to Christ A motiue it is also to loue our brethren because Christ being in heauen our goodnesse extendeth not to him but our brethren on earth stand in his stead and the loue we shew to them we shew to him and he accepteth it as done to him Ye fed me yee visited me saith Christ to them that fed and visited his brethren This loue also euen the loue of our brethren is an euidence that we are loued of God Wherefore if Christ so loued vs we ought also to loue one another How the loue of Christ is a patterne I will afterwards shew §. 28. Of Christs giuing himselfe EPHES. 5. 25. And gaue himselfe for it THis fruit and effect of Christs loue extendeth it selfe to all the things that Christ did or suffered for our redemption as that he descended from heauen tooke vpon him our nature and became a man that he subiected himselfe to the law and perfectly fulfilled it that he made himselfe subiect to many temptations of the deuill and his instruments that he tooke vpon him our infirmities that he became a King to gouerne vs a Prophet to instruct vs a Priest to make an attonement for vs that he subiected himselfe to death the cursed death of the crosse and so made himselfe an oblation sacrifice for our sins that he was buried that he rose againe that he ascended into heauen and there sitteth at Gods right hand to make intercession for vs. For after that Christ had taken vpon him to be our head and Sauiour he wholly set himselfe apart for our vse and our benefit so as his person his offices his actions his sufferings his humiliation his exaltation the dignitie the puritie the efficacie of all is the Churches and to her good doe they all tend This in generall is the extent of this fruit of Christs loue he gaue himselfe for it More particularly we may note these three points 1. The action what he did he gaue 2. The obiect what he gaue himselfe 3. The end why he gaue himselfe for it for the Churches good The action hauing relation to the obiect most especially pointeth at the death of Christ The Greeke word is a compound word and signifieth to giue vp It implieth two things 1. That Christ willingly died the simple word gaue intimateth so much 2. That his death was an oblation that is a price of redemption or a satisfaction the compound word gaue vp intimateth so much §. 29. Of the willingnesse of Christ to die That Christ willingly died is euident by the circumstances noted about his death when Peter counselled him to spare himselfe and not to goe to Ierusalem where he was to be put to death he called him Satan and said he was an offence to him when Iudas went out to betray him he said vnto him That thou doest doe quickly When Iudas was gone out to get companie to apprehend him he went to the place where he was wont so as Iudas might readily finde him yea he met them in the mid-way that came to take him and he asked them whom they sought though he knew whom they sought and when they said Iesus of Nazaret he answered I am he When they came to him he droue them all backward with a word of his mouth and yet would not escape from them He could haue praied to the Father to haue had more then twelue legions of Angels for his safeguard against those that apprehended him but would not when by his aduersaries he was prouoked to haue come downe from the Crosse and could haue done so he would not At the instant of giuing vp the ghost he cried with a loud voice which sheweth that his life was not then spent he might haue retained it longer if he would and thereupon the Centurion gathered that he was the Sonne of God When he was actually dead and laid in a graue he rose againe These other like circumstances verifie that which Christ said of himselfe No man taketh my life from me but I lay it downe of my selfe It was therefore no necessitie that compelled him to die but his voluntarie obedience Christ is the Lord Prince and Author of life and hath an absolute power as ouer the life of others so ouer his owne life Thus then we see that his sacrifice was a voluntarie and free gift the cause thereof was his owne will and good pleasure Exceedingly doth this commend the loue of Christ and assureth vs that it is the more acceptable to God who loueth a cheerefull giuer Let vs in imitation of our head doe the things whereunto we are called willingly and cheerefully though they seeme neuer so disgracefull to the world or grieuous to our weake flesh §. 30. Of the kinde of Christs death an oblation That Christs death was an oblation and a price of redemption is euident by the death of those beasts which were offered vp for a sacrifice and therein were a type of Christs death But expresly is this noted by this Apostle where he saith Christ hath giuen himselfe for vs an offering and sacrifice to God for a sweet smelling sauour and againe Christ gaue himselfe a ransome The phrases of redeeming purchaesing buying with the like attributed to Christ and his bloud doe further confirme the same Learne hereby to consider Christs death not as the death of a priuate man but of a publike person of a suertie of a pledge that in our roome and stead was made sinne and was made a curse to redeeme vs from our sinnes and from the curse which by sinne was fallen vpon vs. The comfort and benefit of Christs death is lost if this be not knowne and beleeued In this consisteth a maine difference betwixt the death of Christ and all other men not the most righteous Martyrs excepted Their death was but a dutie and debt no satisfactory oblation no price no ransome as Christs was §. 31. Of the infinite valew of the prince of our redemption The Obiect or thing which Christ gaue for a ransome was himselfe not his body alone nor his body and soule only but his person consisting of his two natures humane and diuine Quest How could his diuine nature be giuen vp could it suffer could it die Answ 1. The Deitie simply considered in and by it selfe could not die but that person which was God both could and did die
man in his right wits for furious franticke mad desperate persons will cut their armes legs and other parts mangle their flesh hang drowne smother choake and stab themselues Euen so they are as men out of their wits who hate or any way hurt their wiues yea it is the part of a mad man to doubt of louing and doing good to himselfe These two words to nourish and cherish comprize vnder them a carefull prouiding of all things needfull for a mans bodie To nourish is properly to feed To cherish is to keepe warme The former is done by food the latter by apparell Vnder food and apparell the Apostle comprizeth all things needfull for this life where he saith Hauing food andraiment let vs therewith be content This applied to an husband sheweth that he ought to haue a prouident care for the good of his wife in all things needfull for her That he may yet further presse this point he returneth againe to the example of Christ euen as the Lord the Church The Apostle thought that this naile of loue had need be fast beaten into the heads and hearts of husbands and therefore addeth blow to blow to knocke it vp deepe euen to the head before he confirmed Christs example with the example of our selues here he confirmeth the example of our selues with the example of Christ againe This he doth for two especiall reasons 1. The more forcibly to vrge the point for two examples adde weight one to another especially this latter which is so farre more excellent as we heard out of vers 25 26 27. 2. To giue husbands a better direction for their prouidence towards their wiues whom they must nourish and cherish not only as their bodies but as Christ nourisheth and cherisheth his Church not only with things temporall but also with things spirituall and eternall §. 56. Of mans naturall affection to himselfe EPHES. 5. 28 29. So ought men to loue their wiues as their owne bodies he that loueth his wife loueth himselfe For no man euer yet hated his owne flesh but nourisheth and cherisheth it euen as the Lord the Church HAuing briefly shewed the generall scope of the 28 and 29 verses I will proceed to a more distinct handling of them They setforth The naturall affection of a man to himselfe Two points are here to be noted 1. The generall proposition that a man is well affected to himselfe 2. The particular amplification and manifestation of that affection This is manifested two waies 1. Negatiuely No man hateth his owne flesh   2. Affirmatiuely and that in two branches 1. Nourisheth it 2. Cherisheth   Both these are iustified by the like affection of Christ to the Church which is his body Euen as the Lord the Church In that the Apostle propoundeth the naturall affection of a mans selfe to his body as a motiue and patterne to Christians to loue their wiues and also iustifieth the same by a like affection of Christ to his Church I obserue that Naturall affection is a thing lawfull and commendable it is an affection which may stand with a good conscience which Gods word is so farre from taking away as it doth establish it For such as are without naturall affection are directly condemned and we are commanded to be so kindly affectioned one to another as we are to our selues Yea the law in the strict rigour thereof laieth downe that naturall affection which is in a man to himselfe as a rule for the loue of his neighbour thou shalt loue thy neighbour as thy selfe Hence is it that the Prophets Apostles and Christ himselfe doe oft call vpon vs to haue an eie to that affection which we beare to our selues Of this patterne Christ saith This is the Law and the Prophets this is the briefe summe of them this is it which they doe much vrge and presse 1. Naturall affection was at first created of God by him planted in man so that as soule body the powers and parts of them are in their substance good things this affection also in it selfe is good 2. There are the same reasons to loue our selues as our brethren For we our selues are made after Gods image redeemed by Christs bloud members of the same mysticall bodie keepers of our selues to giue an account of the good or hurt we doe to our selues with the like In the Law vnder this word neighbour our selues are comprised and euery commandement of the second table is to be applied to our selues §. 57. Of naturall self-selfe-loue Obiect Louers of themselues are condemned in Gods word as 2 Tim. 3. 2. Phil. 2. 21. 1 Cor. 10. 24. Rom. 15. 1. Answ There is a double louing of a mans selfe One good and commendable The other euill and damnable Good and commendable louing of a mans selfe is 1. Naturall 2. Spirituall  That which is naturall is in all by the very instinct of nature and it was at first created and still is by Gods prouidence preserued in our nature and that for the preseruation of nature Were there not such a naturall loue of himselfe in euery one man would be as carelesse of himselfe as of others and as loth to take paines for himselfe as for others Wherefore that euery one might haue care at least of one euen of himselfe and so the world be better preserued God hath reserued in man this naturall affection notwithstanding his corruption by sin Yea further because euery one is not able to looke to himselfe at least when he is young sicke old or any other way impotent God by his wise prouidence hath extended this naturall affection towards otheralso as they are neerely linked vnto vs by the bonds of nature The next to a mans selfe are by bloud and bond of nature children Admirably much is that which parents doe for their children which they would neuer doe if there were not a naturall affection in them to their children From children againe this affection ariseth towards their parents that when parents grow old impotent or any way vnable to helpe themselues they might haue succour from their children And because parents and children are not alwaies together or not able to helpe one another or vnnaturall God hath yet further extended this naturall affection to brethren cousins and other kindred And for a further extent thereof hath instituted mariage betwixt such as are not of the same bloud and by vertue of that bond raised a naturall affection not only in husband and wife one to another but also in all the alliance that is made therby Moreouer this affection is wrought in neighbours friends fellowes and other by like bonds knit together that the bow of Gods prouidence might haue many strings and if one breake another might hold In all these kinds the neerer a man commeth to himselfe the more doth this affection shew it selfe according to the prouerbe Neare is my
coat but nearer is my skin God hauing wrought this naturall affection in the seuerall kindes thereof and there being good ends and vses thereof it is not to be condemned §. 58. Of spirituall self-selfe-loue Spirituall selfe-loue is that which is supernaturally wrought in man by Gods Spirit whereby he is both inlightned to discerne what is most excellent and best for him and also moued to choose the same so as this serueth to rectifie the former Hence it commeth to passe that their chiefest care is for their soules and for the eternall saluation thereof for the furthering whereof they can be content as need requireth to beat downe their body to denie them sometimes their ordinary refreshing by food rest and other like meanes yea and to suffer them to be imprisoned racked and otherwaies tortured and life it selfe to be taken from them This men doe and suffer not for want of naturall affection but by reason of spirituall affection which perswades them that it is good for them it should be so A man is not therefore to be said not to loue the health and safety of his body because he loueth something more For a couetous man though he loue his money yet he can be content to part with it for bread to nourish his body so a spirituall man though he loue his life yet he can be content to lose it for his soules saluation For he loueth himselfe sufficiently who doth his best to enioy the chiefest and truest good This spirituall affection extendeth it selfe as farre as naturall affection namely to wiues husbands children parents brethren cosins friends c. Much is this vrged and pressed in the Scriptures as Isa 55. 1 2 3. Mat. 6. 19 20 33. Ioh. 6. 27. 1 Tim. 6. 11 19. §. 59. Of euill selfe-loue The selfe-loue which is euill swerueth in the Obiect Measure  1. In the Obiect when it is cast vpon our corruptions our lusts our euill humors when we affect and loue them and for them pursue whatsoeuer may satisfie them as the ambitious lustfull riotous gluttonous and other like persons This is expresly forbidden Make not prouision for the flesh to fulfill the lusts thereof 2. In the Measure when our loue is wholly and only cast vpon our selues so seeking our owne good as we regard no mans good but our owne nor care what dammage another receiueth so we may get aduantage thereby This is also forbidden for it is contrary to the property of true loue which seeketh not her owne namely to the preiudice of another This hath the title of Selfe-loue appropriated to it It sprang from the corruption of nature and is daily increased by the instigation of Satan for the destruction of mankinde It manifesteth it selfe by the many tricks of deceit which most men vse in their dealings with others by making aduantage of others necessities as in the case of vsurie of raising corne and other commodities in time of scarcity with the like by mens backwardnesse to helpe such as stand in need of their succour by want of compassion in other mens miseries and by many other like vnkindnesses all which verifie the prouerbe Euery man for himselfe But by distinguishing the forenamed points we may see that notwithstanding euill self-loue be a most detestable vice yet it is both lawfull and commendable to loue ones selfe aright §. 60. Of the error of Stoicks in condemning all passion The doatage of Stoicks who would haue all naturall affection rooted out of man is contrary to this patterne and vnworthy to finde any entertainment among Christians for what doe they aime at but to root that out of man which God hath planted in him and to take away the meanes which God hath vsed for the better preseruation of man That wise man whom they frame to themselues is worse then a brute beast he is a very stocke and blocke Not only the best and wisestmen that euer were in the world but also Christ himselfe had those passions and affections in him which they account vnbeseeming a wise man Their doatage hath long since beene hissed out of the schooles of Philosophers should it then finde place in Christs Church §. 61. Of well vsing naturall affection Let vs labour to cherish this naturall affection in vs and to turne it to the best things euen to such as are not only apparently but indeed good and among good things to such as are most excellent and the most necessary such as concerne our soules and eternall life For this end we must pray to haue our vnderstandings inlightned that we may discerne things that differ and approue that which is excellent and to haue our wills and affections sanctified that we embrace pursue and delight in that which we know to be the best Thus shall our naturall affection be turned into a spirituall affection Here we see how we may make nature a schoolemaster vnto vs for as Christ sendeth vs to the fowles of the aire and lillies of the field to learne of them so the Apostle here sendeth vs to our owne naturall instinct We cannot complaine that we haue no schoolemaster neere vs as many in the country whose children for want of one are rudely brought vp our selues are schoolemasters to our selues Wherfore as the Apostle hereby teacheth husbands to loue their wiues so let vs all more generally learne to loue one another for we are all mutuall members of one and the same body and our brother or neighbour is Our flesh §. 62. Of Mans forbearing to wrong himselfe EPHES. 5. 29. For no man euer yet hated his owne flesh but nourisheth and cherisheth it THe first particle for sheweth that in this verse an euidence and manifestation of a mans loue of himselfe is giuen The first part thereof which is set downe negatiuely sheweth that It is against the common instinct of nature for a man to hate himselfe It is noted as an euidence that deuils were in the Gadarene in that he cut himselfe with stones had not the deuils forced him he would neuer haue done it Hatred is contrary to loue it being therefore before proued that euery man by nature loueth himselfe by necessary consequence it followeth that no man hateth his flesh for two contrary effects proceed not from the same cause no fountaine can yeeld both salt water and fresh Obiect Many doe macerate their bodies with fastings watchings labours trauels and the like others teare and gash their flesh with whips kniues swords yea and with their teeth also others lay such violent hands vpon themselues as they take away their owne liues Answ 1. None of these things are done by the instinct of nature which God hath set in man but through the corruption of nature which the deuill hath caused Now nature and corruption of nature are two contrarie causes no maruell then that contrarie effects come from them 2. They thinke they doe
denieth it to them so farre as he seeth it will turne to their hurt Whensoeuer therefore God bestoweth any temporall blessing on his Saints it is a token of his favour and whensoeuer he denieth any the very deniall is also a fruit of his fauour Herein is it verified that All things worke together for good to them that loue God so as if they abound it shall goe well with them if they want it shall goe well with them if they be in high place it shall goe well with them if in meane place it shall got well with them if they be at libertie if in prison if they be in health if sicke in what estate soeuer it shall goe well with them 6. Quest How is it then that Saints are oft brought to such extermities that they are forced to complaine that it is very ill with them Answ There is flesh and bloud in them by reason of the weaknesse whereof they are forced to complaine but the present apprehension of weake flesh is not sufficient to impeach the truth of Gods promise they consider not in their present extremitie what is Gods minde what his manner of dealing with them how needfull it is that so they should be dealt withall what end and issue the Lord will giue in truth it is better with them then they wot of Some weightie reasons there be which moue God to bring them to that extremitie wherein they are and those respecting his owne glorie or the edification of others or their owne good as curing some dangerous disease manifesting the grace of God bestowed vpon them drawing them neerer to God making them long the more for heauen with the like §. 104. Of long-life how farre forth it is a blessing Concerning the second branch of Gods promise long-life other questions are to be resolued 1. Quest Is long-life a blessing Answ Yea else would not God here and in other places haue promised it as a reward nor haue bestowed it on his Saints The reasons to proue it to be a blessing may be drawne to three heads 1. Gods glorie 2. the good of the Church where they liue 3. their owne good 1. Gods glorie is much aduanced by the long life of the Saints for the longer they liue the more they doe themselues obserue Gods wonderfull workes and the more they doe make them knowne and declare them to others But in the graue all is forgotten 2. Gods Church is greatly edified thereby in which respect the Apostle saith to abide in the flesh is more needfull for you In the Saints that is true which Elihu saith should be namely that daies speake and multitude of yeeres teach wisdome The longer the Saints liue the more good they doe but after death they doe none when the night commeth no man can worke vpon which ground the Apostle exhorteth to doe good while we haue time 3. The Saints by long liuing purchase to themselues great honour and dignitie among Gods people and a strong stedfast confidence in God Men regard a good old seruant much more will God Two strong props haue old Saints to establish them and make them bold one is a remembrance of Gods former fauours whereby their hope of eternall life is made more sure vnto them another is a kinde of present expectation of the accomplishment of Gods promises which they haue long waited for By this it appeares that this particular promise is no light matter of small moment but a strong motiue to stirre vp children to obedience §. 105. Of long life prouing a curse to the wicked 2. Quest Why then is long life giuen to many wicked ones and why are many Saints cut off Answ Long life is of the same kinde that prosperitie is it may be turned to a curse as well as proue a blessing The wicked by liuing long on earth make their sins grow to the full as is implied of the Amorite they make their name to stinke the more on earth as a carion the longer it remaineth aboue ground the more it stinketh and they cause the greater torment in hell to be inflicted vpon them for as sinne is increased so shall that torment be increased The righteous haue their daies shortned for their good when they are shortned and that in these and such like respects 1. That they may be taken from the euill to come 2. That they might be made an example to others 3. That by a temporall death eternall condemnation might be auoided 4. That their chiefest and greatest reward might be hastened §. 106. Of limiting the promises of temporall blessings Thus we see there may be iust cause to alter as the former branch of this promise prosperitie so the latter branch of it long-life and yet no wrong thereby redound to the righteous nor benefit to the wicked 3. Quest Is not the truth of the promise impeached thereby Answ No whit at all For first all promises of temporall blessings are limited with such a condition as this if the performance of it may stand with Gods honour and the good of the partie to whom it is made 2. God doth neuer simply depriue his Saints of that which is promised but only in stead of it giueth a better as in taking away wealth he giueth the more store of grace in restraining liberty of body he giueth freedome of conscience with affliction he giueth patience by taking away this temporall life he giueth eternall life God herein dealeth as if one who hauing promised so much iron should in stead thereof giue as much siluer or for siluer giue gold and so for one pound giue the worth of hundreds or thousands §. 107. Of appropriating prosperity and long-life to the obedience which children yeeld to their parents 4. Quest Why is long-life and prosperity appropriated to this kinde of righteousnesse Answ It is not so appropriated to this as if it appertained to no other for it is elsewhere in generall promised to the obseruers of the whole law and to other particular branches thereof beside this yet in these and such like particular respects is it applied to the obedience of children 1. Because obedience to parents is one of the surest euidences of our conformity to the whole law in that thereby we shew our respect of Gods image and lay a good foundation for the performing of all dutie to man 2. Because a childes performing of his dutie to his parents is vnder God an especiall meanes that they doe well and liue long for as rebellious children make their parents with griefe to come the sooner to their graues so dutifull children make them to continue the longer in prosperity the Lord in recompence promiseth to such a childe prosperity and long life 3. Because parents are an especiall meanes to procure the welfare and long life of their children partly by their prouident care as Noami said to Ruth
Scripture noteth many husbands to be elder then their wiues as Abraham was tenne yeeres elder then Sarah and if we narrowly marke the circumstances of the histories of Isaac and Iacob and their wiues we shall finde that the husbands were elder then their wiues To my remembrance an approued example of an husband younger then his wife cannot be giuen out of Scripture Contrary to this equalitie in yeeres is the practise of many men and women who being aged to satisfie their lust or for some other by-respect mary such as are but in the floure of their age wherein they doe many times much faile of their expectation for those young ones finding the societie of aged folkes to be burdensome and irksome vnto them soone begin to loath the same and thereby cause more griefe and vexation then euer they did giue comfort and contentment On the other side others there be who in the prime and strength of their age for wealth honour or such like respects mary those that with age begin to be decrepit and vnfit to be maried hoping that they will not long liue but that with a little trouble they shall purchase much dignitie or riches after a while be free againe But God oft meeteth with such in their kinde by prolonging the life of those aged persons and so making the burden to be much more grieuous and tedious then was imagined and by taking away those young ones sooner then they looked for whereby it commeth to passe that all their hopes perish The heathen obserued inequalitie in yeeres to be occasions of many mischiefes and thereupon prescribed rules against it §. 10. Of equalitie in estatâ— and condition betwixt those that are to be maried together 2. Some equalitie in outward estate and wealth is also befitting the parties that are to be maried together lest the disparitie therein especially if it be ouer-great make the one â—nsult ouer the other more then is meet for if a man of great wealth be maried to a poore woman he will thinke to make her as his maid-seruant and expect that she should carrie her selfe towards him so as beseemeth not a yoake-fellow and a bedfellow so as such an one may rather be said to be brought vnto bondage then mariage And if a rich woman mary a poore man she will looke to be the master and to rule him so as the order which God hath established will be cleane peruerted and the honour of mariage laid in the dust For where no order is there can be no honour 3. The like may be said of outward condition that therein also there be some equalitie that Princes Nobles and Gentlemen mary such as are of their owne ranke and the meaner sort such as are of their degree Note what sort of wiues Abraham Isaac and Iaacob maried and it will appeare that they had respect to this paritie Disparitie in condition as well as in estate is a meanes to make men and women swell and insult aboue that which is meet yea and to twit one another in the teeth with their former estate and condition Contrary on the one side are the practises of such as affect to mary aboue their owne estate and degree thinking by such mariages to aduance themselues This is the only thing which many seeke after in seeking wiues and husbands whereby it commeth to passe that they oft meet with the worst matches and make their mariage a kinde of bondage vnto them Great portions make many women proud daintie lauish idle and carelesse a man were much better euen for helpe of his outward estate to mary a prudent sober thriftie carefull diligent wife though with a small portion then such an one A proud backe a daintie tooth and a lauish hand will soone consume a great portion but a wise woman buildeth her house and a vertuous woman is a crowne to her husband Many wiues also that are maried to very rich husbands are more stinted and pinched in their allowance then such as are maried to men of meaner estate It is not the meanes which a man hath but his minde and disposition that maketh him free and bountifull to his wife Contrarie are the mariages which men of great authoritie and abilitie make with meane women yea their owne maids many times and those of the lowest ranke their kitchinmaids parties part that is to be maried and then if that partie be vnder the gouernment of parents the matter must be moued to them before there be any further proceeding therein as Sampson who seeing and liking a daughter of the Philistims told his father and his mother thereof Yea though the partie be not vnder the gouernment of any yet it is very meet that counsell be taken of wise and vnderstanding friends that in a matter so weightie as mariage is there may be the aduice of more heads then one for the preuenting of such mischiefes as through rashnesse might fall out After a liking is thus taken by one partie of a meet mate that liking must be moued to the other partie so liked to know whether there be a reciprocall affection of one towards another Thus Sampson went and talked with that woman whom he liked to be his wife If at first there be a good liking mutually and thorowly setled in both their hearts of one another loue is like to continue in them for euer as things which are well glued and setled before they be shaken vp and downe will neuer be seuered asunder but if they be ioyned together without glue or shaken while the glue is moist they cannot remaine firme Mutuall loue and good liking of each other is as glue Let the parties to be maried be herein well setled before they come to meet with trials through cohabitation and that loue will not easily be loosened by any trials Contrarie is the adulterous and brutish practise of such as so soone as they cast their eie on any whom they like neuer aduise or consult about a right and due proceeding vnto mariage but instantly with all the eagernesse and speed they can like brute beasts seeke to haue their desire and lust satisfied Though to keepe themselues free from the penalty of the lawes vnder which they liue they procure meanes to be maried yet they declare a lustfull and adulterous minde And their practise is too like to the practise of the Beniamits who catcht wiues from among the daughters of Shiloh as they were dancing or else to the practise of the old world which so grieued the Spirit of God that it repented him that he had made man and thereupon he was moued to bring a generall deluge on the whole world Their practise was this that they tooke them wiues of all that they chose that is they rashly and suddenly maried whomsoeuer they liked without any consideration of their condition §. 14. Of a contract what it is II. When both parties
of a wiues separation for her disease Leu. 15. 19. c. For what can be expected â—m such polluted copulation but a leprous and loathsome generation This kinde of intemperancie is expresly forbidden Leuit. 18. 19. and a capitall punishment inflicted on such as offended therein Leuit. 20. 18. Abstinence in this time is set in the catalogue of those notes which declare a man to be righteous Eccles 20. 7. and the contrary intemperancy is put in the roll of such abominations as prouoked God to spue out the Canaanits Leuit. 18. 28. and to forsake his owne inheritance Ezek. 22. 10. To this kinde of intemperancie some referre a mans knowing of his wife after she hath conceiued with childe But I finde no such matter condemned in Gods word neither dare I make that a sinne which is not there condemned Certaine Sectaries among the Iewes are branded for this error 1. Obiect No other creature will so doe so as it may seeme to be against nature Answ 1. I denie the argument though some forbeare yet all doe not 2. I denie the consequence for other creatures are not so tied one male to one female as an husband to his owne wife Besides that which beasts by nature are tied vnto must be left to mans discretion 2. Obiect After a woman hath once conceiued no more conceptions can be expected till she be deliuered Answ Conception is not the only end of this dutie for it is to be rendred to such as are barren Quest What if the wife giue sucke to her childe ought not her husband then to forbeare Answ Because giuing sucke is a mother dutie man ought to doe what he can to containe §. 10. Of mutuall loue betwixt man and wife Hitherto of those common mutuall duties which tend to the preseruation of the very being of mariage and are in that respect absolutely necessarie The other common mutuall duties though they be not of so absolute necessitie as the former are in their kinde necessary for the good estate of mariage and for the better preseruing of that knot so as if they be not performed the end and right vse of mariage will be peruerted that estate made vncomfortable very burdensome The first of these is Loue. A louing mutuall affection must passe betwixt husband and wife or else no dutie will be well performed this is the ground of all the rest In some respects Loue is proper and peculiar to an husband as I purpose to shew when I come to speake of an husbands particular duties But Loue is also required of wiues and they are commanded to be louers of their husbands as well as husbands to loue their wiues so as it is a common mutuall dutie belonging to husband and wife too and that is true wedlocke when man and wife are linked together by the bond of loue Vnder loue all other duties are comprised for without it no dutie can be well performed Loue is the fulfilling of the Law that is the very life of all those duties which the law requireth It is the bond of perfection which bindeth together all those duties that passe betwixt partie and partie Where loue aboundeth there all duties will readily and cheerefully be performed Where loue is wanting there euery duty will either be altogether neglected or so carelesly performed that as good not be performed at all in which respect the Apostle willeth that all things be done in loue Loue as it prouoketh the partie in whom it ruleth to doe all the good it can so it stirreth vp the partie loued to repay good for good It is like fire which is not only hot in it selfe but also conueigheth heat into that which is neere it whence ariseth a reflection of heat from one to another Note how admirably this is set forth betwixt Christ and his Spouse in the Song of Salomon and it is further manifested in the examples of all good husbands and wiues noted in the Scripture they did mutually beare a very louing affection one to another Though loue be a general duty which euery one oweth to another euen to his enemie yet the neerer that God hath linked any together the more are they bound to this dutie and the more must they abound therein But of all others are man and wife most neerely and firmly linked together Of all others therefore are they most bound hereunto that in the highest degree that may be euen like to Ionathans loue who loued Dauid as his owne soule Salomon saith He that findeth a wife findeth a good thing and obtaineth fauour of the Lord which by the rule of relation is also true of an husband Shee that findeth an husband findeth a good thing and obtaineth fauour of the Lord. Man and wife therefore are each to other an especiall pledge of Gods fauour and in this respect aboue all others vnder God to be loued If this be the ground as it ought to be of their mutuall loue their loue will be feruent and constant Neither will the want or withering of any outward allurements as beautie personage parentage friends riches honours or the like with-hold or with-draw extinguish or extenuate their loue neither will any excellencies of nature or grace in other husbands and wiues draw their hearts from their owne to those other nor yet will the loue of a former yoake-fellow dead and gone any whit lessen the loue of the liuing mate This instance I haue the rather mentioned because in many who are farre from setting their affection on strange flesh their loue of a former husband or wife departed is so fast fixed in their heart as they can neuer againe so intirely loue any other They who are so minded are not fit to be ioined with another yoke-fellow after they are loosed from one If they mary againe and manifest such a minde they plainly shew that they respect this or that person more then Gods ordinance By Gods ordinance man and wife are no longer bound one to another then they liue together Death is an absolute diremption and maketh an vtter dissolution of the mariage bond If the man be dead the wife is deliuered from the law of the man so as shee may take another man Which liberty is also giuen to the man Being now free if they mary another that other being now a true husband or wife their loue must be as intire to that other as it was to the former yea and more intire if there were any defect in the former For as children maried out of their parents house must not retaine such a loue of their parents as shall swallow vp their loue of the partie to whom they are maried but must according to the law leaue father and mother and cleaue to their yoke-fellow so neither must the loue of a former husband or wife be predominant when they are maried to another This other must be as close cleaued
so fall out in many for Christ hath expresly foretold it that of two that were oneâ—ed â—ed together who are more fitly set forth vnder this phrase then man and wife who most vsually are stiled bedfellowes â—ne shall be taken to mercy and glory the other shall be for saken or left to endlesse and easelesse torture and torment But though it be foretold that thus it shall fall out with many a â—ouple yet our care must be and that with our vttermost power to preuent it as in our selues so in our bedfellow If it please the Lord to giue such a blessing to the endeuour of an husband or wife as to be a meanes of the conuersion of their bedfellow then will the partie conuerted both intirely loue the other and also heartily blesse God as there is iust cause that euer they were so neerely linked together This dutie of winning one another is to be applied to such as are maried not only to plaine infidels but also to Papists or other like Idolaters to Atheists or any other profane persons to heretiques separatists schismatiques or any that beleeue not aright §. 24. Of husbands and wiues edifying one another The second dutie tending to the soules saluation is that two beleeuers being maried together they endeuour mutually to build vp one another more and more One Christian oweth this dutie to another much more man and wife Take heed saith the Apostle that no man fall away from the grace of God If no man then nor wife nor husband A spirituall edifying of one another is the best vse which we can make and ought to make of those ioynts and bonds whereby we are knit one to another By vertue of them the body namely the mysticall body of Christ receiueth increase to the edifying of it selfe and increaseth with the increase of God Now the bond of mariage being of all other the firmest and that whereby we are neerest knit together by vertue of what bond should we edifie one another if not by vertue of the mariage bond §. 25. Of husbands and wiues hindering sinne one in another Two things are requisite vnto spirituall edification One respecteth the hinderances of growth in grace The other the helpes thereof The hinderances of grace are all manner of sinnes Sinne to grace is as water to fire it slaketh the heat of it and if without hoe it be powred on it it will cleane put it out In regard hereof there ought to be a mutuall care in husbands and wiues both to preuent sinne before it be committed and also to make what redresse they can after it is committed That it is a mutuall dutie for husbands and wiues so much as they can to preuent sinne one in another is euident by that reason which the Apostle vseth to keepe them from defrauding one another in these words that Satan tempt you not For out of the scope and matter of those words this generall doctrine may be gathered Husbands and wiues ought to be carefull to keepe one another from the temptations of Satan that is from sinne whereunto all his temptations tend Rebekah performed the dutie of a good wife in keeping Isaak from blessing Esau which if he had done he had sinned against Gods expresse word Though she failed in the manner of doing it yet her end was good As that loue they owe one to another so that care which they ought to haue of themselues requireth as much for sinne prouoketh Gods wrath his wrath sendeth downe vengeance that vengeance which falleth on the husband can hardly misse the wife or that the husband which falleth on the wife and that by reason of their neere vnion though it fall not on both their pates yet it cannot but much affect and euen afflict the partie that escapeth The wiues of those rebells who were swallowed vp quicke in the wildernesse perished in like manner with their husbands For they who are so neere as husbands and wiues and doe not what they can to preuent one anothers sinnes make themselues accessary thereto For the better effecting of this dutie husbands and wiues must be watchfull ouer one another and obserue what sinnes either of them are giuen vnto or what occasions are offered to draw either of them into sinne If either of them be cholericke or prone to be angry on a sudden the other must endeuour to take away all occasions of offence and if both should be testie and hastie to wrath when the one seeth the other first moued the partie whose passion is not yet stirred ought the rather to be setled and composed to all meeknesse and patience lest if both together be prouoked the whole houshold be set on fire If either of them be giuen to drunkennesse couetousnesse or any other sinne the other ought by wise and gentle perswasions to keepe them as much as they can from those sinnes Yea they may also get others that are discreet and able to disswade them or vse what other good meanes they can to that purpose §. 26. Of husbands and wiues redressing sinne in one another When either husband or wife is fallen into any sinne a mutuall dutie it is for the other to vse what redresse may be of that sinne as if one of them were wounded the other must take care for the healing of that wound Abigail performed her dutie in this kinde when after she had heard what churlish entertainment her husband gaue to Dauids seruants she hastened to carry store of prouision to Dauid and humbled her selfe before him and so moued Dauid to asswage his wrath yea she tooke a seasonable time also to tell her husband his fault and the danger whereinto he brought himselfe thereby More directly and with better successe did Iaakob redresse the superstition or rather Idolatrie of his wife Rachel as may be gathered by comparing Gen. 31. 19 34 Gen. 35. 2 4.  A brother at large must not suffer sinne to lie on his brother much lesse may husband or wife the one vpon the other Thou shalt not hate thy brother saith the law and suffer sinne to lie on him To doe this then is a token and fruit of hatred If an husband should see his wife or a wife her husband lying in the fire or water ready to be burnt or drowned and not afford their best helpe to pull them out might they not iustly be thought to hate them But sinne is as fire and water which will burne and drowne men in perdition This dutie may be performed by meeke instructions pithy perswasions gentle reproofes yea and by the helpe of some good Minister or other discreet and faithfull friend §. 27. Of husbands and wiues helping forward the growth of grace in each other Hitherto of preuenting and redressing hinderances of grace Hereunto must be added an helping forward of the growth thereof which man and wife must mutually endeuour to effect
they can That which Salomon said of a friend and a brother may fitly be applied in this case to husband and wife a friend loueth at all times and a brother is borne for aduersity that is a trusty and faithfull friend is constant in his good-will and ready to performe all duties of kindnesse at any time whether it be prosperity or aduersity the change of outward estate maketh no alteration in his louing affection and friendly cariage yea he seemeth to be as it were borne and brought forth against the time of trouble and affliction because then is his prouident care and tender affection most manifested Of all friends none ought to be more carefull none more faithfull one to another then man and wife How then ought they to loue at all times and if any triall come to either of them the other so to carrie himselfe as it may be truly said they were ioyned together for aduersity Thus shall they verifie the truth of that whereby God was moued to creare of mankinde male and female namely that it was not good for man to be alone but that it was rather good that is needfull profitable and comfortable for man and woman to be together In which respect the wise-man saith he that findeth a wife findeth a good thing and by the rule of relation we may inferre she that findeth an husband findeth a good thing §. 30. Of husbands and wiues backwandnesse to helpe one another in time of need Contrary to this duty is a certaine vnnaturall affection in sundry husbands and wiues who much grudge to prouide the things that are needfull for one another The man commonly thinkes the charge too great the woman thinkes the paines too much they are affected one to another as if they were meere strangers nay many strangers will be more ready to performe and more cheerefull in performing needfull duties as occasion is offered then such vnnaturall husbands and wiues If a little sicknesse or other like crosse fall on one of them the other thinkes neuer any had such a burden and by their discontent make the burden much more heauy then otherwise it would be euen as when two oxen are in one yoke and the one holdeth backe the draught is made much harder to the other Thus doe they peruert one of the principall ends of mariage which is to be a continuall comfort and helpe each to other and to ease the burdens of one another in which respect they are made yoke-fellowes Iobs wife by her vnnaturall cariage towards him in his affliction did much aggrauate his misery when he stood in most need of her helpe she afforded least vnto him it appeares by Iobs complaint of her in these words my breath is strange to my wife that she altogether neglected him in his misery The common speech of many after their husband or wife hauing long lien sicke is departed bewrayeth their vnnaturall affection their speech is this if my husband or wife had died so much sooner I had saued so much mony What doth this intimate but that they could haue beene contented their husband or wife should haue died sooner that they might haue spared the more §. 31. Of Husbands and Wiues mutuall respect of one anothers good name The prouident care of husbands and wiues ought further to extend it selfe to the credit and good name of one another As deare ought the good name of the wife be vnto the husband and of the husband to the wife as their owne The great regard that Ioseph had of the credit of Marie his espoused wife made him thinke of putting her away priuily when â—e obserued her to be with childe and knew not of whom â—or he was not willing to make her a publike example The â—ame respect moued Bethsheba to send secretly to Dauid and â—ell him that she was with childe The commendation which he good husband noted by Salomon giueth of his wife being approued by the holy Ghost sheweth how man and wife â—â—aght in that respect to honour each other and that on good â—ounds For 1. A good name is a most pretious thing better then preâ—ious ointment which giueth a sweet sauour and to be chosen â—oue great riches 2. So neerely are husbands and wiues ioyned together the good name of the one cannot but tend to the honour and credit of the other so that herein they seeke their owne honour also §. 32. Of husbands and wiues preuenting each others discredit For direction herein consider we how this dutie may be performed and how it may be manifested For the better performing of it care must be had both to preuent and redresse an ill name and also to procure and preserue a goodname To preuent an ill name respect must be had of these three things following 1. What one relateth of another and how 2. What eare they giue to things related by others 3. What censure they giue of one another For the first husbands and wiues may in no case delight to discouer vnto others and spread abroad the infirmities and imperfections of one another or any thing that may tend to the discredit of either of them but rather couer and conceale them as much as they may with a good conscience It is expressed that Ioseph being a iust man laboured to conceale that blemish which he imagined to be in his wife so as this may stand with iustice yea also it is a part of Ioue for loue couereth a multitude of sinnes For the second husbands and wiues must not haue their eares wide opened to heare euery tale and report that shall be brought to one against the other but rather shew themselues displeased and offended with them that are ready to relate things of euill report If an husband or wife manifest a willingnesse to hearken after tales and reports of one another the deuill will stirre vp instruments enow to fill their heads with tales and those for the most part both friuolous and forged not only strangers but children seruants and they which are of the same family will euer be telling some tale or other to currie fauour as we speake But an vtter dislike of such flattering tale-bearers will take away occasion from them of telling vntrue or slight reports For the third the iudgement and censure which husbands and wiues giue one of another must either be very charitable or verie sparing If one heare reported any notorious crime of the other they may not be ouer-headie or hastie to iudge and condemne no though they thinke they see some euidence thereof but rather suspend their iudgement This seemeth to be the minde of Ioseph though he obserued Marie to be with childe yet would he not presently iudge her to be a notorious adulteresse or condemne her for an hypocrite vnworthie to liue and therefore would not make her a publike example In briefe that husbands
end for which a wife was giuen a man namely to be aâ— helpe Such husbands cannot but neglect other more weighty matters which more properly belong vnto them For obserue it and you shall finde that such husbands as are most busie about the priuate affaires of the house appertaining to their wiues are most negligent of such affaires as appertaine vnto themselues they thinke they walke in integrity but yet are they not iust nor wise therein for the iust man walketh in HIS integrity and the wisdome of the prudent is to vnderstand HIS way i. that integrity which appertaineth to his owne peculiar place and his owne way but euery foole will be medling namely with things not belonging to his place 5. Who are ouer suspicious of their wiues and thereupon ouer strickt in taking account of them S. Paul calleth surmizes euill and that not without iust cause for euill they are in their nature and euill in their effects being occasions of many mischiefes but in none so euill as in husbands ouer their wiues If a wiues fidelity to whose good the welfare of the family and increase of the stocke redoundeth as well as to the husbands be without iust cause suspected who shall be trusted It is the ouerthrow of many families that seruants are trusted and not wiues Thus farre of an husbands kinde acceptance of that which his wife is willing and able to doe §. 20. Of Husbands encouraging their wiues in good things The loue which an husband oweth to his wife further reâ—uireth that he wisely commend and reward what she hath well â—one That which the Apostle faith of the Magistrates authority may fitly be applied to an husbands in relation to his wife Doe that which is good and thou shalt haue praise of the same It is expresly noted in the description of a good husband â—hat he praiseth his wife and in that he saith Giue her of the â—uit of her hands it is implied also that he rewardeth her This is an vndoubted euidence of his good acceptance of â—er duty and a further incouragement to stir her vp to goe on and continue in well doing Yea this is also an euidence of his by and delight both in her person and also in her well doing 〈◊〉 there be no delight in ones person well doing will rather stir vp enuy then ioy and they that enuy a mans well doing will neuer commend or reward him for it In an husbands commending of his wife this caueat must be put that he so order his commendation as it sauour not of flattery or dotage nor yet stir vp lust or enuy in others §. 21. Of husbands vngratefull discouraging their wiues Contrary is an vngratefull if not enuious disposition of such husbands as passing by many good things ordinarily and vsually euery day done by their wiues without any approbation commendation or remuneration are ready to dispraise the least slip or neglect in them and that in such generall termes as if they neuer did any thing well so as their wiues may well complaine and say as it is in the prouerbe Oft did I well and that heare I neuer Once did I ill and that heare I euer Yet such will be ready to praise other mens wiues and vp braid their owne wiues with the examples of those other when their owne doe farre excell them in all kinde of goodnesse What doth this shew but that either they take no notice of their own wiues goodnesse or else by reason of the commonnesse thereof little regard it If their wiues haue not the more grace in them this disposition is enough not only to discourage them from doing any good duty but also to breed iealousie in them and to alienate their hearts from them §. 22. Of an husbands mildnesse Hitherto of that respect which an husband is to haue of that duty which his wife performeth to him For auoiding iust offence an husband must further haue good respect to that which as duty he doth to his wife As kindly he must accept duty at his wiues hands so mildly he must performe that duty which he oweth to her This mildnesse is an especiall fruit and euidence of loue and a notable meanes to take away all offence that otherwise might be taken from many things which he doth Sugar and Hony are not more pleasant to the tongue then mildnesse to the heart it causeth such things as otherwise are irksome and grieuous to the soule to be well taken and applied euen as bitter pils dipt in sweet syrrop or rolled vp in the soft pap of an apple are soone swallowed downe and well digested If an husband desire to be accounted a seruant of the Lord he must learne this lesson For the seruant of the Lord must be gentle to all men If any other seruant of the Lord much more husbands if to all men most of all to their wiues and that in many respects 1. Because of the neere vnion betwixt man and wife 2. Because of the ioynt authority she hath with him ouer others that herein he may be a president and example to her 3. Because of her weaknesse glasses are tenderly handled a small knocke soone breakes them §. 23. Of husbands bitternesse Contrary is bitternesse a vice expresly forbidden and that in particular to husbands A vice that cannot stand with an husband-like loue whereupon the Apostle commanding the one forbiddeth the other Loue saith he and be not bitter Nothing more turneth the edge of his authority peruerteth the vse of his gouernment prouoketh the stomacke of his wife maketh his words and deeds lesse regarded then bitternesse It is as gall and wormwood mixed with sweet and wholesome meats which causeth that they cannot be well digested but with violence are spit out againe so soone as euer they be tasted Men in authority are much prone hereunto and therefore O husbands be so much the more watchfull against it loue your wiues and be not bitter vnto them §. 24. Of the Titles which an husband giueth to his wife The forenamed mildenesse of an husband must be manifested in his Speech Cariage  For so far as reuerence extends it selfe in the duties of wiues must mildnesse be extended in the duties of husbands Whether an husbands speech be to his wife before her face or of her behinde her backe it must be sweetned with mildnesse 1. For his speech to her 1. The titles wherewith he calleth her 2. The instructions which he giueth her 3. The commandements which he layeth vpon her 4. The reproofes wherewith he checketh her must all be mixed with mildnesse Among other titles the most ordinary and vsuall title wife is a milde and kinde title and least offensiue of all other if an husband giue any other title to his wife it must be such an one as manifesteth kindnesse familiaritie loue and delight Such are all the titles which Christ giueth
God which she maketh the ground of her scruple Answ He must first labour to resolue her conscience by a plaine discouery of her error which is a true and a great token of loue if notwithstanding all that he can doe in that kinde she cannot be brought to yeeld to that which he would haue then he must carefully obserue these two things 1. Whether her refusing to yeeld be an obstinacy or weakenesse 2. Whether it be about a sleight or weighty matter By the reasons which she rendreth and her manner of pressing them he may discerne whether weakenesse or obstinacy make her stand out against him if the reason which she resteth on taken from Gods word be doubtfull and to one that hath not a good sound iudgement and a sharpe discerning wit it may appeare to make something for her it is to be presupposed that there is more weakenesse then stoutnesse in her But if she can render no good reason but only take euery shew that any way seemeth to incline to her words and peremptorily holdeth the conclusion and stifly standeth on her owne resolution though the vanity of her pretences be euidently discouered to her so as she hath not any thing further to obiect or if she render no reason at all but her owne thought conceit and will and yet refuseth to yeeld surely obstinacy possesseth her heart In case of obstinacy it is very expedient that an husband stand vpon his power to maintaine his authority and by the best wisdome he can vsing only such meanes as are lawfull bring her to yeeld from her stoutnesse to that which he requireth especially if the matter be weighty as in case a religious man haue been maried to a Popish wife and she by no reason will be moued to forbeare going to Masse or yeeld to goe to the preaching of the Gospell But if through weakenesse she cannot be perswaded of the lawfulnesse of that her husband requireth and the matter required be of no great consequence nor the weakenesse of her conscience cause any great error an husband ought so farre to manifest his mildnesse as to forbeare to presse her conscience §. 28. Of an husbands forbearing to presse things vnbeseeming a wiues place 3. Things vnbeseeming the place of a wife are dishonourable vnto her for an husband to vrge his wife by strict charge to doe them implieth more rigorousnesse then mildnesse Had the spirit of that stout Monarch Ahashuerosh beene more milde towards his wife he would not haue so farre pressed his wife vnto so vnseemly a thing as he did namely to come before all his Princes and people to make shew of her beautie It is true indeed as we shewed before that she offended in refusing to yeeld thereunto he peremptorily requiring it but that offence on her part doth not justifie his fact and free him from all blame it is noted that he was merry with wine when he gaue that commandement whereby is intimated that his practise was more beseeming a drunken then a sober man such is their practise who exact of their wiues to doe such businesses as beseeme maid-seruants rather then wiues or strumpets rather then honest women as to goe to tauernes ale-houses play-houses and such places where light companions be §. 29. Of an husbands pressing his authoritie in weighty matters 4. To vse a mans authoritie about weightie matters matters of moment maketh it to haue such weight in it as it will much better be regarded for thus a wife will either be brought to yeeld vnto that which is commanded or to condemne her selfe for not yeelding yea thus a wife may see that it is not his owne will so much which maketh him to vse his authoritie in commanding as the necessitie of the thing it selfe which redoundeth especially to her good that doth it for the performance of a dutie is for the most part most aduantageable to the partie that performeth it so as hereby an husband sheweth loue to his wife in pressing that which he presseth This token of loue that it may the better appeare it is behouefull that an husband adde to his commandement iust weightie reasons that thereby his wife may the better discerne the meetnesse lawfulnesse expediencie and necessitie of the things commanded We know that all the things which God commandeth are weightie and necessarie yea his will being the very rule and ground of all goodnesse maketh things absolutely necessarie yet vnto his commandements he vseth to adde weightie reasons shewing on the one side the benefit and blessednesse that will come to such as obey his commandements and on the other side the mischiefe and miserie that will fall on their pates who refuse to obey whereby he sheweth the great good respect which he beareth to vs and the earnest desire he hath of our good Thus may an husband euen in his commandements shew much loue and kindnesse §. 30. Of husbands too great pride in commanding Contrary is the peremptorie pride of husbands when they will haue their owne will done it booteth not whether the thing commanded be lawfull or vnlawfull whether their wiues consciences can yeeld vnto it or no whether it stand with the honour of their places or no and whether it be weightie or light their will it is it should be done and done it shall be there is all the reason they will giue Some thinke it a glory to command what they list and thinke that there is no proofe of their authoritie and of their wiues subiection but in such things as vpon their own will without any further ground or reason they command If such husbands meet with confronts if though they command much they finde not answerable performance they may thanke themselues who runne the ready course to haue their authoritie contemned and euen troden vnder foot §. 31. Of husbands rare and milde vsing their commanding power Respect must be had by husbands to the manner of vsing their authoritie in commanding as well as to the matter In regard of the manner his commandements must be 1. Rare not too frequent 2. By way of intreating not too peremptorie Authoritie is like a sword which with ouer much vsing will be blunted and so faile to doe that seruice which otherwise it might when there is most need A wise graue peaceable man may alwayes haue his sword in readinesse and that also very bright keene and sharpe but he will not be very ready to plucke it out of his scabberd he rather keepeth it for a time of need when it should stand him in most steed Such husbands therefore as are too frequent in their commands shew themselues nor graue nor wise nor louers of peace As the vse of an husbands authoritie in commanding must be rare so when there is occasion to vse it it must be with such mildnesse and moderation tempered so as according to Saint Pauls example though he haue power to command that which is
points which are 1. The order 4. The qualitie thereof 2. The truth 5. The quantitie  3. The cause 6. The continuance  I. For the Order Christ began to loue his Church he mafested his loue to her before she loued him as the aire heated by the Sunne is hote and a wall on which the Sun-beames smite giueth a reflexion of heat backe againe so the Church as it were heated and warmed at heart by the sence of Christs loue loued him as the Apostle expresly noteth We loue him because he loued vs first and the Church her selfe acknowledgeth saying Because of the sauour of thy good ointments wherewith we are reuiued and cheered the virgins loue thee There is in vs by nature no sparke of loue at all if Christ by his louing of vs first did not instill loue into vs we could no more loue him then a liuing bird rise out of a cold egge if it were not kept warme by the dammes sitting vpon it Thus must an husband first begin to loue his wife His place of eminencie and authority requireth that he should be to his wife a guide which title is expresly giuen to him by the holy Ghost to teach him to goe before her and by his example to instruct and incite her to doe her dutie What a shame would it be for a man who is the Image and glory of God the head of his wife in the same place to her that Christ is to his Church to be prouoked by his wiues wiue-like carriage she being the weaker vessell vnder him to learne of him to loue her Reasons there be to stirre vp a wife to indeauour to preuent her husband in doing her dutie which if she doe it is the greater glory to her but this patterne of Christ should stirre him much more to striue to goe before her §. 62. Of husbands repaying vnkindnesse for loue Contrary is their disposition who hauing louing and dutifull wiues are notwithstanding nothing moued to loue them againe but are as vnkinde and churlish as if they had the most â—eeuish and peruerse wiues that could be But what shall we say of such as loue their wiues the lesse yea and hate them for their forwardnesse to loue and in testimony of true loue to performe all good dutie What but that they are very deuils â—ncarnate For it is the deuils property to ouercome good with cuill These make the doctrine of a wiues subiection to seeme harsh and a carefull performance thereof an heauy burden Neuer shall they partake of Christs loue that in their place â—ew themselues so vnlike to Christ §. 63. Of the truth of husbands loue II. The truth of Christs loue was manifested by the fruits thereof to his Church He gaue himselfe for it It was therefore not in word only no nor only in heart but in deed also Thus his loue proued profitable and beneficiall to his Church which thereby was clensed and made a glorious Church Had he only borne a tender compassion and pittifull affection towards it or laboured only with comfortable and sweet words to vphold and succour it it had still laine polluted with sinne in the power of the deuill and vnder Gods wrath and so receiued no profit and benefit at all So must husbands loue their wiues in truth and in deed Such a loue is required of a man to his brother much more therefore to his wife who is not only a sister as the Apostle expresly stileth her but neerer then sister mother daughter friend or any other whatsoeuer This therefore serueth to presse the practise of all the forenamed duties appertaining to an husband §. 64. Of husbands dissimulation Contrary is their dissimulation and hypocrisie who make great shew of much loue and pretence of earnest affection vsing many outward complements but faile when they come to the truest triall the deed Some like suters or wooers will promise mountaines but not performe moul-hills others will coll and kisse their wiues much but trust them with nothing nor prouide for them things requisite there be that will weepe much when their wiues are sicke yet not afford physicke and such like things for their recouery yea many will carrie a faire face all their life long towards their wiues and at their death leaue them nothing to liue by Hence it is that many who by others are accounted to be very kinde husbands are by their wiues found to be farre otherwise If triall be made of husbands loue by their practise and performance of the forenamed duties it will be found that they for the most part come as farre short in loue as wiues in subiection §. 65. Of the freenesse of husbands loue III. The cause of Christs loue was his loue as Moses noteth He set his loue on you because he loued you His loue arose only and wholly from himselfe and was euery way free as there was nothing in the Church before Christ loued her to moue him to loue her so can there be nothing that he could hope for afterwards but what himselfe bestowed Indeed he delighteth in that righteousnesse wherewith as with a glorious robe she is clothed and with those heauenly graces wherewith as with pretious Iewels she is decked but that righteousnesse and those graces are his owne and of his free gift He presents it to himselfe a glorious Church In imitation hereof husbands should loue their wiues though there were nothing in wiues to moue them so to doe but only that they are their wiues yea though no future benefit could after be expected from them true loue hath respect to the obiect which is loued and the good it may doe thereunto rather then to the subiect which loueth and the good that it may receiue For loue seeketh not her owne Christs loue in this branch thereof should further moue husbands to doe what lieth in their power to make their wiues worthy of loue thus will it be in truth said that they dwell with their wiues according to knowledge and thus will their â—oue appeare to be as Christs loue free §. 66. Of husbands louing for aduantage Contrary is their loue which is only for their owne content â—nd aduantage Many can loue no further then they may haue â—ome bait to allure their affections as beauty wealth honour â—r the like by-respects or at least hope of some inheritance or â—ortion aboue that which they haue or of some fauour that they â—xpect from their wiues friends This cannot be a true sound â—â—ue such a man may be thought to loue his wiues beautie â—â—heritance and friends rather then his wife This loue cannot last §. 67. Of the puritie of husbands loue IIII. Christs loue for the qualitie is an holy pure chaste â—â—ue as he himselfe is so is his loue as is euident by the â—â—fect thereof for it moued him to sanctifie and clense his Church to make it a glorious Church without
spot he did therefore no way pollute or defile his Spouse and that his loue might the better appeare to be chaste loue cast only vpon one Spouse and not many he vnited all his Saints together by the bond of his Spirit and made them all one body Hereby husbands must learne so to be affected towards their wiues as may stand with holinesse and chastitie though much loue be required yet it may not ouer-flowe those banks Mariage is honourable and a bed vndefiled It must therefore be vsed as an vndefiled thing This indeed appertaineth to the wife as well as to the husband But because he is the head and guide of his wife and ought to be as a patterne and president before her as Christ is before him therefore is it more specially applied to him The puritie of an husbands loue here spoken of hath a double vse 1. It restraineth an husbands loue to his owne wife There is a generall Christian loue whereby all occasions of doing good are taken with which an husband may and ought to loue others and a particular matrimoniall loue whereby he is moued to preferre his wife before all and to haue his heart set and fixed on her and so proper and peculiar to her 2. It orders and moderates his loue so as it turneth not into sinfull lust whereby that estate which in it selfe by vertue of Gods ordinance is holy is polluted §. 68. Of husbands lightnesse Contrary is not only adulterie whereof we haue spoken before but also wantonnesse lightnesse and vncleannesse with his wife For many intemperate and vnchaste husbands giuing the raines to their headstrong lusts manifest as much vnseemlinesse and plaine filthinesse in their words gestures and actions to say nothing of their thoughts which are not seene to their wiues as other doe to strumpets and harlots which is a most shamelesse thing and I am euen ashamed â— mention but because it is mentioned let such know thâ— they shall be accounted among such whoremongers and adulâ—rers as God will iudge §. 69. Of husbands louing their wiues more then themselues The quantity of Christs loue cannot be expressed for the measure of it was aboue measure He gaue himselfe for his Church and in that respect he calleth himselfe that Good sheepheard that gaue his life for his sheepe Greater loue then this hath no man What will not he doe for his spouse that gaue his life for her This may seeme to be too high a straine and pitch of loue for an husband to attaine vnto a matter wherein he is to â—eaue his patterne and not to follow Christ but yet S. Iohn addeth euen this extent to the loue of our brethren We ought saith he to lay downe our liues for the brethren therefore by â—ust consequence for our wiues But that this extent be not stretched too farre and husbands cast into a pit of needlesse â—erill two cautions must be noted 1. That there be an absolute necessity to bring vs to this â—raite of parting with our life which is when the good we â—ime at in the behalfe of our wiues cannot any other way be â—ffected but by venturing our life There was no other way â—â— redeeme the Church but by the bloud of Christ 2. That the good we intend in this case to our wiues be of â—reater valew then our temporall life as is the good of her â—ule the sauing of it Thus the Apostle saith I will most gladly bestowed for your soules Which minde men must much more â—rie towards their wiues It was for our saluation that Christ â—ue himselfe §. 70. Of husbands vnkindnesse Contrary is their vnkindnesse that preferre euery trifle of â—â—eir owne before the good of their wiues their profit their â—easure their promotion cleane draw away their hearts and â—â—fections from their wiues If any extraordinary charge must â— laid out or pains taken for their wiues good little loue â—ll then appeare whereby it appeares that there was no true â—â—d sound loue setled in their hearts towards their wiues As â—ld and other like mettals are tryed by the fire so loue by â—â—ictions and crosses §. 71. Of combats in pretence of wiues honour Contrary in another extreme is the ouer-bold and ouer-heady pretended manhood of such husbands as vpon euery iealous surmize and sleight report are ready to make challenges of fight and to enter into single combats and duels on pretence of maintaining their wiues honour This being no warrantable course of righting a wrong no honour can redound to the wife thereby but much dishonour and danger to the husband If he preuaile ouer his aduersarie and kill he is made guilty of murther thereby and so reproach and shame must needs come to himselfe wife and whole family if he be ouercome and slaine she may be reputed more guilty then she was before And oft it falleth out that God in iust iudgement giueth ouer the challenger into his aduersaries hand because he hath vndertaken so indirect a course §. 72. Of husbands Constancy in loue VI. The continuance of Christs loue was without date Hauing loued his owne he loued them vnto the end His loue was constant not by fits now louing then hating and euerlasting neuer repenting thereof neuer changing or altering his minde no prouocations no transgressions could euer make him forget to loue and cease to doe that good which he intended for his Church note what he said to her euen when she reuoulted from him Thou hast played the harlot with many louers yet returne againe to me and againe My mercy shall not depart away For his loue resteth not on the desert of his Church but on the vnchangeablenesse of his owne will As this manifested Christs loue to be true sound loue so it made it profitable and beneficiall to the Church which notwithstanding her many frailties by virtue hereof is glorified This last branch must be added to all the former branches of an husbands loue or else they will be all in vaine and to no purpose This giueth the truest tryall of sound loue Such was the loue betwixt Dauid and Ionathan the soundest loue that euer was betwixt partie and partie This bringeth the greatest glory to the partie which loueth and the greatest benefit to the partie which is loued That a mans loue may thus remaine firme and inuiolable 1. He must be sure to lay a good foundation he must ground his loue on Gods ordinance and loue his wife in regard of the matrimoniall bond which knitteth them together and that neere vnion which thence ariseth and so it will last so long as that knot lasteth 2. He must further support and strengthen it with an inuiolable resolution to be changed and altered with no prouocation but rather to passe by all infirmities indeauouring in loue to redresse them if possibly he can if not to beare with them §. 73. Of husbands variablenesse Contrary is their
inhumane impietie was manifested in the world the Ciuill Law ordained this punishment If any shall kill his parent let him not be put to the sword nor fire nor any other vsuall punishment but let him be sowed in a sacke with a dog and a cocke and a viper and an ape and cast into the next sea or riuer that while life is in him he may begin to want all vse of the elements and be depriued while he liueth of the aire and when he is dead of the earth This sinne hauing beene committed among the heathen the Apostle reckoneth it vp among other most notorious and barbarous sinnes 1. Tim. 1. 9. As murther is one of those sinnes which the earth can least beare and which cryeth loudest to heauen for vengeance so among the seuerall kinds of murther this is the most vnsupportable and crying Thus much of the duties of children which they are to performe while their parents liue It remaineth to speake of those which they are to performe when their parents are dead §. 45. Of childrens care to burie their parents being dead The duties which children owe to their parents after they are dead concerne the Bodie of their deceased pareÌ„t Credit   It is the dutie of children to bring the bodies of their parents deceased with such decencie and honour as may be answerable to the place and reputation wherein they liued So as both the thing it selfe and the manner of doing it is to be obserued The thing it selfe namely Buriall of the corps of such as are deceased hath euer beene in vse in Gods Church and it hath beene vsed as a meanes to maintaine our hope of the resurrection of our bodies Many of the heathen who neuer dreamt of the resurrection were wont to burne the dead bodies of their friends other heathen learned this manner of buriall from the Church though they knew not the mysterie thereof It is more cleare then needs be proued that Gods people from the beginning of the world haue performed this dutie of buriall to their friends but it is not pertinent to the point in hand to insist vpon the generall that it belongs especially to children to procure this dutie to be performed is now the point to be proued which is readily done by the approued examples of Isaak Iaakob Ioseph and others expresly recorded in Scripture And great reason there is for it for 1. It is a testimonie of great loue and good respect to the partie deceased Now who should manifest more loue and greater respect then a childe 2. It is a kinde of blessing promised by God to his Saints to be buried as on the other side it is a curse threatned against obstinate sinners not to be buried In this respect Dauid blesseth the men of Iabesh Gilead for burying Saul and acknowledgeth it a kindnesse done to Saul Now who ought rather to procure a blessing and doe a kindnesse to parents then children who are oft blessed through their parents meanes 3. It being a great deformity to haue a mans corps lie aboue ground for no carkase will be more loathsome then a mans if it lie vnburied children who are most bound to couer their parents deformity are in this respect bound to burie their corps Contrary is their practise whose mindes are so set on their parents goods as they cleane neglect their bodies So soone as their parents breath is out of their body they so busie themselues about the things which they haue left behinde them as their corps is ready to stinke before care be taken for the buriall of it Yea some will purposely keepe their parents corps aboue ground till they be exceeding noisome for receiuing some reuenues or debts or other accounts which must be paid before the corps be buried If their corps must needes for sometime be kept aboue ground let them be imbalmed or so vsed as they may not sauour They who are carelesse hereof shew that they respect their parents wealth more then his person and honour In which respect they also heinously transgresse who are so greedy of their parents estate as they must needs preuent his departure and like Adoniah enter vpon their fathers estate and take possession of his goods before breath is out of his body whereby they doe oft cause great disquietnesse to him that would depart in peace Againe others bearing an inward grudge and secret hatred against a brother or other kinsman whom their parent intirely loued and in that respect durst not meddle with him in their parents life-time so soone as their parent is dead picke a quarrell with the party hated and so disturbe and hinder their parents funerall Such a plot Esau intended but God defeated it whereby it appeareth that God is displeased therewith §. 46. Of the decency wherewith children ought to see their parents buried The manner after which children ought to see their parents buried must be with such decency as is agreeable to the commendable custome of the countrie and Church where their parents die and with such honour as is in some measure answerable to the estate and place of their parents while they liued at least if it be not aboue the meanes that the parent hath left or aboue the abilitie of the childe that maketh the solemnitie Ioseph was a great Gouernour in Egypt by reason whereof his father when he came thither was highly accounted of accordingly with great honour did he carry him to his graue There are two extremes contrary to the forenamed decency â—nd honour One is an ouerlauish and prodigall sumptuousnesse â—nd solemnitie at their parents funerall farre aboue the estate â—nd farre beyond the meanes which the parent hath left and â—arre also aboue the estate and ability of the childe himselfe â—ome by the needlesse solemnitie of their parents funerall are â—â— farre cast into debt as they are neuer able to recouer themselues againe and so bring more dishonour to their parents by â—he weaknesse of their childes estate then honour by the soâ—â—mnitie of the funerall there may be great honour and much decency in a funerall where is not extraordinary charâ—es instance Steuens funerall The other extreme is too base and priuate a manner of â—urying their parents much vnbeseeming both their parents â—nd their owne estate and means which ariseth from a mixture â—f pride and couetousnesse possessing their hearts Pride maâ—eth them haue no solemnity at all because couerousnesse will not suffer them to exceed in their solemnitie Hence it commeth to passe that they chuse out strange places where neither their parents or selues are knowne and the dead of the night that none may espie them and appoint an vncertaine time that no friend may accompany them God oft meeteth with such proud couetous children in their kinde and causeth them with like dishonour to be brought to their graues §. 47. Of childrens
if he had said I will blesse thee with such women as shall both beare thee children and also giue sucke to them which they beare The consequence then is this As it is a blessing to haue children of a true lawfull wife so to haue those children nursed of the same wife their mother Obiect They haue the blessing of breasts that haue other women to nurse their children Answ By the same reason it may be said they haue the blessing of the wombe who haue strange women to beare them children But the ioyning of these two branches of blessing together sheweth that both must be taken in the same kinde so that as the blessing of the wombe is to haue children of a mans wife so the blessing of the breasts is to haue them nursed of his wife If it be a blessing for the woman which beareth the childe to giue it sucke then mothers are bound to performe this dutie 2. It is denounced as a curse that women shall haue a barren wombe and drie breasts If it be a curse for women to haue drie breasts then may not women wittingly make them drie which all mothers doe that giue not sucke to their children 3. Manoahs wife being promised to beare a sonne had this charge giuen her Drinke no wine nor strong drinke c. those things were especially hurtfull for her milke It is therefore implied thereby that she should so order her diet as she might well nurse her childe and haue good milke for him 4. God by his good prouidence brought it to passe that the mother of Moses though she were forced to cast out her childe should nurse her owne childe Yea the mother her selfe was desirous to doe it and therefore appointed her daughter â—o watch who should take it vp These two circumstances â—mplie that it appertaineth to a mother to nurse her children 5. The Apostle layeth this downe as a note of a good woman who in her place hath beene carefull to doe her dutie â—nd thereupon fit to doe seruice in Gods Church If she haue â—ourished her children or word for word If she haue fed her children Now the proper food for young babes is breast-milk which by the Apostles rule the mother must giue 6. The same Apostle commandeth mothers to loue their children How can a mother better expresse her loue to her â—oung babe then by letting it sucke of her owne breasts As his is a testimony of loue so it is a meanes of preseruing and increasing loue for daily experience sheweth that mothers â—ue those children best to whom they themselues giue sucke Summe these seuerall consequences together and we â—all finde the dutie in question to be very strongly inforced hereby 1. As a blessing it is promised that mothers shall giue sucke to the children that they beare 2. As a curse it is threatned that women shall not be able to giue sucke 3. An Angell gaue direction to a mother so to carrie her selfe as she might haue store of good milke for the childe which she should beare 4. God by his speciall prouidence manifested that the proper mother was the best nurse for a childe 5. It is the note of a good woman to performe this part of her particular calling namely to nurse her owne childe 6. Women ought to doe all the best duties of loue that they can to their children Therefore mothers ought to nurse their owne children II. Some of the most worthy patternes in whose example this dutie is commended to mothers are these 1. Sarah gaue sucke to Isaak This example is to be noted especially of the greater sort as rich mens wiues honourable mens wiues and the like For Sarah was an honourable woman a princesse a rich mans wife a beautifull woman aged and well growne in yeeres and a mistresse of a family Are not these excuses pretended by many mothers for not nursing children themselues 2. The virgin Mary gaue sucke to Iesus This example is to be noted especially of the meaner sort for the virgin Man was young poore persecuted forced to remoue and flie with her childe from countrie to countrie Are not these excuses pretended by other mothers These two patternes doe not only commend the duty but also strippe all mothers that are negligent therein of all excuse To these may be added the examples of Annah of Dauids mother and of many others What if also I adde the example of that true naturall affectionate mother who stood before Salomons throne to plead for her childe she thus saith of her selfe I arose to giue my sonne sucke c. If this had not beene a good motherly dutie she would not then and there haue pleaded it III. The places of Scripture which take this dutie for a matter granted and for a ruled case are such as these 1. Where Sarah saith Who would haue said to Abram that Sarah should haue giuen children sucke In this phrase she setteth forth Gods blessing in giuing Abram a sonne by her Now in that she expresseth the blessing vnder this phrase of giuing sucke she taketh it for grant that the mother which beareth children must giue them sucke 2. Where Dauid saith thou diddest make me hope vpon my mothers breasts he doth not onely imply that his mother gaue him sucke but by the phrase maketh it a ruled case that the childe which suckes must hang vpon the mothers breast 3. Where Salomon saith O that thou wert as my brother that sucked the breasts of my mother he taketh if also for grant that brothers and sisters as they come out of the same wombe so they should sucke the same breasts euen the breasts of her out of whose wombe they came their owne mothers breasts 4. Where the woman said to Christ Blessed is the wombe that bare thee and the paps which thou hast sucked she taketh it for grant as it was an vsuall practise in those daies that the â—aps of that woman whose wombe beare him gaue him â—ucke These arguments we haue from the light of Gods word other we may haue from Gods workes and the light of nature as 1. God hath giuen to women two breasts fit to containe â—nd hold milke and nipples vnto them fit to haue milke drawne from them Why are these thus giuen to lay them â—rth for ostentation There is no warrant for that in all Gods â—ord They are directly giuen for the childs food that commeth out of the wombe for till the childe be borne there is â—o milke in the breasts anon after it is borne milke ordinariâ—â— floweth into the breasts yea a great part of the meat which â—â—ey eat turneth into milke They make this admirable worke â—f Gods prouidence to be in vaine that drie vp this spring â—â—d suffer not their children to partake of the benefit of it 2. That nourishment whereon the childe fed in the moâ—â—ers wombe and whereby it was there sustained turneth into milke
altereth a good constitution of body Some are so ouer-much tender of their children as if a childe neuer so little complaine or refuse the meate though for daintinesse or fulnesse the Physician must presently be sent for and the Apothecary sent vnto and the childe with supposed and apish kindnesse made much worse 4. Too much sport maketh them wilde rude vnfit to be trained vp to any good calling and spendeth their spirits and wasteth their strength too much Yet many parents care not how much time their children spend in sport and how little in learning they thinke it duls their children too much to be held to schoole or to any learning whereas indeed too much play infatuates them more and learning would much sharpen their wits §. 26. Of well nurturing children I referre good nurture in part to the temporall good of children because as afterwards we shall heare in the particulars it is an especiall meanes of the outward temporall welfare of the childe euen in this world Vnlesse this be added to nourishing wherein doe reasonable men and women exceed vnreasonable beasts the most cruell beasts that be are very tender as we heard before towards their young ones nourishing them and prouiding all things needfull for them till they can shift for themselues But as God hath giuen to man a reasonable soule an vnderstanding head capacity docility and aptnesse to learne so ought parents to make vse of those parts and gifts lest for want of vsing them in time they be lost and so children proue little better then bruits In this respect the prouerbe is true better be vnfed then vntaught Experience sheweth that good education is better then a great portion The Holy Ghost doth very much presse this point on parents as we shall after heare in the particulars For I will handle these three points 1. The kindes of nurture 2. The time when it is to be done 3. The meanes of well doing it §. 27. Of parents neglect in nurturing children Contrary to good nurture is too much liberty which oft bringeth much woe and vtter ruine vpon children it is the greatest enemy that can be of good education and the nurse of all vice Yet many parents care not to let their children liue as they list all the care they take is that they be fed and apparelled This is a common fault both of rich and of poore parents The rich pretend that their children need no education because they haue enough to leaue them not knowing that education is an especiall meanes to make them keepe and well vse that enough The poore pretend that they are not able to bring vp their children to any thing not considering that the Lord by his prouidence hath so ordered the affaires of men that as there are fit imployments for the greatest so also for the meanest which without much cost may be vsed The fault therefore wholly resteth in the negligence of parents And if thereupon children fall into any riot their parents shall answer for it §. 28. Of parents teaching their children good manners The nurturing of children before mentioned consisteth 1. In teaching them good manners 2. In training them vp to a good calling Not only heathen men and other moralists which were but meere naturall ciuill men but also the Holy Ghost himselfe hath prescribed many rules of good manners and much vrged and pressed the same 1. The word nurture mentioned by the Apostle in this text which we haue in hand implieth as much and the phrase which Solomon vseth Traine vp a childe in the way he should goe that is teach him how to order the course of his life 2. The many precepts of reuerencing our superiours and carying our selues with respect one to another are rules of good manners Hereof there be very many in scripture 3. Those rules are commended by many examples of holy men recorded in Scripture 4. Such as haue failed in the rules of good manners and rudely carried themselues are reproued by the Holy Ghost Neither is it without good reason that this point is so set forth For 1. Good manners are a very comely and seemely thing But it beseemeth Christians to doe all things decently That decency is not only to be applied to the affaires of Gods Church but also to the whole course of our life in which respect we are commanded to walke decently that is to order all our actions and the whole course of our life mannerly 2. They are a thing of good report and that both to parents and children Now we must doe all things that are of good report 3. They worke a kinde of delight and loue and admiration in those that behold them as is noted of the Queene of Sheba when she beheld the comely cariage of Solomons seruants and of the Egyptians when they beheld the orderly sitting of Iosephs brethren 4. They are an outward ornament to piety and religion and make it to be much more respected in which respect S. Peter exhorteth beleeuing wiues well to order their conuersation before infidell husbands and S. Paul exhorteth all sorts of christians to walke decently toward them that are without The Holy Ghost hauing thus vrged the point of good manners we may not thinke it a meere complementall matter and a needlesse point but a bounden duty §. 29. Of the obiections against good manners 1. Obiect Religion and grace consisteth not in good manners many that haue not a sparke of Gods feare in their hearts are able to carry themselues in their outward behauiour very orderly and mannerly Answ Though grace consist not wholly in it yet cannot grace well be without it it is a great ornament and comelinesse thereunto And though mannerlinesse may be seuered from a feare of God yet Gods feare will not be seuered from it Restraining grace may be in him who hath no renewing grace but renewing grace presupposeth restraining grace euen as reason presupposeth sense though sense may be without reason If such as feare not God can carry themselues comely and mannerly what a shame is it for such as seeme to feare God not to doe so shall not those be a witnesse against these 2. Obiect Good manners are an hinderance to grace they who are most diligent in teaching or practising the one are commonly most negligent in the other Answ This is a meere cauill Sure I am that grace is no hinderance to good manners If any make good manners an hinderance to grace it is their fault 3. Obiect Good manners to grace are as mint annise and cummin to the great and weighty things of the law Answ Grant it to be so yet seeing both may stand together why should they be seuered Christs rule is this These things ought ye to haue done and not to leaue the other vndone 4. Obiect Many that make great shew of religion are very rude and vnmannerly Answ If there be onely a
said to order that the childe which by his parents had beene taught no Art should not be forced to nourish them though they were old or poore This I all eage not to iustifie the law for it is against the Christian rule of ouercomming euill with goodnesse but to shew how the very heathen iudged the neglect of this dutie a great fault in parents 2. When parents neglect to teach their children in their child-hood the generall and common grounds of all callings some vpon niggardlinesse others vpon carelesnesse Thus poore men make their children vnfit for many meanes whereby they might well maintaine themselues and rich men make theirs vnfit for magistracy and for good society Yea poore and rich are thus nousled vp the more in ignorance and made the more vnfit to profit by the preaching of the word and other meanes of spirituall edification 3. When parents bring vp their children in vnwarrantable and vnlawfull callings as to be of popish and idolatrous orders to attend vpon papists to be stage-plaiers keepers of dice-houses c. Some which is horrible to thinke of traine vp their daughters to be common strumpets and some which is yet more horrible traine vp their children to be sorcerers and witches How can they in these keepe a good conscience when the very workes of their calling are sinne Is not this to thrust them headlong into hell They who thus binde their children to the deuils sacrileges are spirituall murtherers of them 4. When parents haue no respect at all to the fitnesse of the calling as when they traine vp children of able bodies but dull and slow capacity of a stuttering tongue and other like imperfections to learning wherein they proue very dunces and lose all their time or are not able to make vse of the learning which they haue or when they traine vp children which haue a great inclination to learning and are very fit thereunto in some other trade which after many yeeres speut therein they are forced to leaue 5. When parents only seeke after the most gainfull trade and neuer thinke to educate their children most to the honour of God How can such expect Gods blessing vpon the meanes vsed for their childrens good Hence is it that among Papists so many are trained vp to Ecclesiasticall orders and functions and so few among Protestants For there is very great maintenance and reuenues for such among Papists but little in comparison among Protestants §. 34. Of parents teaching their children piety The spirituall good of children and that in their childhood is to be procured by parents as well as their temporall Wherefore Parents must traine vp their children in true piety This is expresly commanded in my text vnder this phrase admonition of the Lord. Vnder the law God did both simply command it and that very often and also ordained diuers outward rites and caused many visible and extraordinary monuments to be set vp that thereby children might be occasioned to aske of their parents the mysterie of them and that parents from that inquirie of their children might take occasion to teach them the ordinances of the Lord. This expresse charge of the Lord is further commended by that practise which holy parents from time to time haue yeelded thereunto instance the examples of Abraham Dauid Bathsheba Lois and Eunice with many others 1. Pietie is the best thing that a parent can teach his childe for as reason maketh a man differ from a beast and as learning and ciuilitie maketh a wise and sober man differ from sauages and swaggerers so pietie maketh a sound Christian much more to differ from the most ciuill and well ordered naturall man that can be Learning ciuilitie calling portion are all nothing without pietie Now it is an especiall point of wisdome to seeke the best good that we can as for our selues so also for our children yea this is an euident signe of a parents true loue of his childe 2. There is a necessitie that children be taught pietie because they are not borne but made Christians by nature they are vtterly destitute of all pietie for by nature euery imagination of the thoughts of mans heart is only euill continually Gen. 6. 5. and in that respect man is borne like the wilde asse colt Iob 11. 12. so as a man were better be vnborne then not taught pietie 3. The charge and office of parents bindeth them to teach their children pietie for they are by God made watchmen ouer their children if therefore their children liue and die in impietie through their parents negligence their bloud shall be required at their parents hands instance the example of Elie. Obiect This dutie appertaineth to Ministers Answ 1. God hath giuen an expresse charge hereof to parents as we heard before 2. In the familie a parent is all in all ouer his childe a King a Priest and a Prophet Therefore that which a Minister is to doe for matter of instruction in the Church a parent must do at home 3 Children haue need of daily instruction the parents paines in this kinde must be added to the Ministers and both are little enough 4. Parents hauing more familiaritie with their children then Ministers must needs better know their capacitie and their disposition and so may better know after what manner to instruct them whether to giue them milke or strong meat whether to deale mildly or roughly with them 5. Instructions from parents are commonly more kindly accepted then from others and children will the better rellish them when they come from their parents They say that a plant will best grow in the soile out of which it first sprung so instructions comming from those who both brought vs forth and first brought vs vp are like to doe most good 6. There is no such meanes to breed loue in a childs heart as to be an instrument of bringing piety thereinto Now who should more seeke the true loue of a childe then a parent In this respect a parent is more bound to this dutie then a Minister 7. It is impossible that a Minister who it may be hath many hundred children vnder his charge should well instruct them all It is therefore requisite that each parent looke to his owne children As these distinct answers satisfie the obiection so they serue as so many more reasons to inforce the dutie wherefore to proceed in adding other reasons 4. Great equitie there is that parents teach their children piety because they conceiued and brought them forth in iniquitie If they suffer them to lie and die in that corrupt estate they are more cruell then the Ostrich and Dragon 5. Children are most properly Gods borne to God he is the most proper parent of them in comparison of God fathers and mothers of the flesh are but nurses They must therefore nurture them in the admonition of the Lord. 6. Pietie is that
blame-worthy and accordingly to doe the good and leaue the euill which is a great point of wisdome Obiect Instruction will better doe this Answ Instruction may giue them more knowledge but it is correction which bringeth them to practise what they know which is the chiefest point of wisdome In regard of parents due correcting of their children both freeth them of many inconueniences and also bringeth to them much quiet 1. It spareth them much paines For many admonitions oft repeated and inculcated againe and againe will not make many children so much to heed wholsome and good aduice as a little correction They are much more sensible of smart then of words 2. It preuenteth much griefe shame and vexation for a foolish sonne is a griefe to his father and bitternesse to her that bare him But it is the rod of correction that driueth away foolishnesse and so preuenteth that griefe and bitternesse 3. It freeth them from the guilt of their childrens sinne so as they are not accessarie thereto as Eli was For correction is the last remedie that a parent can vse if by that he can doe no good it is presupposed that he hath done his vttermost endeuour in which respect though the childe die in his sinne yet the parent hath deliuered his owne soule The quiet which is brought to parents by correcting their children is thus noted out by Solomon Correct thy sonne and he shall giue thee rest yea he shall giue delight vnto thy soule For children well nurtured and by correction kept in a filiall awe will so carrie themselues as their parents may rest somewhat secure and not disquiet themselues as they doe with children set at libertie yea as trees well pruned and ground well tilled they will bring forth pleasant and abundant fruit and so their parents will haue iust cause to reioyce in them §. 47. A direction to parents in correcting their children For well vsing this biting corasiue of correction parents must haue respect to the matter for which they doe correct and to their manner of correcting In regard of the matter these three things must be noted 1. That they be sure there is a fault committed that so there be iust cause of correcting else more hurt then good will proceed from thence If a corasiue be laid where there is no sore it will make one If correction be vniustly giuen it may prouoke to wrath but will doe little good This is it wherein earthly fathers are taxed and made vnlike to God for that many times they correct after their owne pleasure which is a point of great iniustice 2. That the fault be made knowne to the childe corrected and he apparantly conuinced thereof Correction must be for instruction which cannot be except the childe know why he is corrected for it is all one to him as if he were corrected for no fault if he know not his fault God thus a first proceeded with the serpent with Eue and with Adam Thus Iudges proceed in punishing malefactors Yea thus will men deale with a dog Should they not much more with a childe 3. That the faults be such especially as the parents can shew to their children if at least they be of so much discretion to be against Gods word as swearing lying pilfring and the like for 1. these are most dangerous faults and therefore more carefully to be purged out 2. the childe corrected will thus be the better euicted of his fault the more condemne himselfe and more contentedly beare the correction In regard of the manner of correcting foure generall and foure particular rules are to be obserued The generall rules are these 1. An eye must be had to Gods manner of correcting his children and in particular of Gods correcting the parent himselfe no better generall direction can be giuen for Gods patterne is a perfect rule 2. Prayer must be made by parents for themselues and for their children for themselues to be directed in doing it for their children to be bettered by it Thus will good Physitians in ministring physicke In all duties is prayer to be vsed especially in this for a parent is ready partly through his owne intemperate passion and partly through the childs impatiencie to fall into one extreme or other This is not to impose vpon all whensoeuer they take vp the rod to goe and make a solemne prayer but to lift vp the heart for direction and blessing 3. Correction must be giuen in loue All things must be done in loue much more this that carieth a shew of anger and hatred In loue they will giue physicke to their children and splinter a ioynt if need be God correcteth his children in loue so must parents Loue will make them doe it with tendernesse and compassion 4. Correction must be giuen in a milde moode when the affections are well ordered and not distempered with choler rage furie and other like passions Disturbed passions cast a mist before the vnderstanding so as a man cannot discerne what is enough what too much When passion is moued correction must be deferred God correcteth in measure The particular rules are these 1. Due order must be kept Correction by word must goe before correction by the rod. I rebuke and chasten saith the Lord. Thus a parent will shew that he taketh no delight in smiting his childe it is necessitie that forceth him thereunto Thus a parent sheweth himselfe like to God who doth not punish willingly Lam. 3. 33. Physitians when they minister strong physicke will giue a preparatiue rebuke may be as a preparatiue Good and pitifull Chirurgions will try all other meanes before they come to launce and seere 2. Due respect must be had to the partie corrected if he be young and tender the lighter correction must be vsed Solomon oft mentioneth a rod as meetest for a childe for that is the lightest correction So if the childe be of a flexible and ingenuous disposition soone sneapt the correction must accordingly be moderated If he be well growne and withall be stout and stubborne the correction may be more seuere 3. Due respect must be had to the fault Sinnes directly against God open notorious scandalous sinnes knowne sinnes sinnes often committed in which they are growne vp and whereof they haue gotten an habit are with greater seueritie to be corrected 4. A parent must behold his owne faults in correcting his childes so more compassion will be wrought in him §. 48. Of parents too much indulgency Contrary to this dutie of correcting are two extremes 1. Too much lenitie 2. Too much seueritie Many so cocker their children as they will suffer them to run into any misdemeanour rather then correct them They cannot endure to heare their children cry and therefore their children must be pleased in all their humours and euill desires These parents bring shame to themselues and mischiefe vpon their children for God is oft
forced to correct such Heauy are Gods corrections and oft light on parent and childe both as appeareth by the iudgement on Eli and his sonnes for such parents make themselues accessary to their childrens sinnes yea also to the iudgements laid vpon their children God saith of such parents that they honour their children aboue God It is therefore a fond indulgency which maketh parents regard neither Gods honour nor their owne or childrens safetie Mothers for the most part offend herein who are so farre from performing this dutie themselues as they are much offended with their husbands if they doe it And to proclaime their folly to all the world they cannot commit their children to a Tutor or Schoole-master but with a strait charge that they correct them not Obiect Correction maketh children sots and blocks Answ If Gods spirit deserue to haue more credence then such foolish women that obiection is most false for we heard before how correction giueth wisdome and driueth out foolishnesse 2. Obiect Mothers may be the more borne with herein because with long trouble they did beare and with great trauell bring forth their children Answ That may be a good motiue for them to seeke the true good of their children that so their trouble and trauell may not be in vaine but not to vphold them in the broad way that leadeth to destruction §. 49. Of parents too much seueritie in correcting their children They who offend in the other extreme of seuerity of the two are the more vnnaturall parents they offend directly against the first branch of this text Prouoke not to wrath Nothing more prouoketh then immoderate seuerity for 1. It argueth no loue in the parent but rather hatred at least wrath and other such like distempered affections 2. It softeneth not the childes heart but hardeneth it rather 3. It maketh him dull and stupid and cleane peruerteth the right and true end of correction 4. It oft maketh a childe thinke of doing some mischiefe to his parent or himselfe That parents may the rather take heed of this extreme I will briefly note wherein excesse in seueritie is shewed It is shewed when correction is giuen 1. For no fault In this case though correction be neuer so light it is too seuere 2. For small faults in wrath and furie though the stripes be few and light yet the parents behauiour is too much seueritie 3. To children that are young and tender or soft milde and ingenuous as if they were in some yeeres the most obstinate and peruerse that could be 4. Too often for euery thing done amisse whereas parents should seeme not to see or heare many things which they see and heare 5. Too sorely so as the childe is lamed or some way so hurt as he shall feele it as long as he liueth §. 50. Of Parents care in prouiding fit callings for their children Hauing laid downe such duties of parents as especially respect the childhood of children I proceed to lay forth such as haue respect to their riper yeeres wherein they are to be placed forth Here we are to note 1. The kindes of those duties 2. The meanes of performing them  The kindes may be drawne to two heads 1. Prouiding fit places and callings for them to exercise their gifts 2. Prouiding fit mariages for them We heard before how children were to be trained vp and fitted to some good calling euen in their childhood Now further when by vertue of good education they are inabled to discharge the functions and duties of a calling and by yeeres they are well growne vp so as it is time they should be set to some particular calling Parents ought to prouide fit callings for their children and fit places for them to exercise the gifts which by nature or education they haue gotten For example If children haue beene brought vp in learning parents must vse what lawfull and honest meanes they can to settle them in such a place and course as they may professe and exercise their gifts according to their seuerall kindes be it Diuinitie Law Physicke or the like or if they haue beene brought vp in any trade to prouide that they may set vp as we speake and exercise their trade The two first children that euer were borne of woman Cain and Abel were placed forth in seuerall callings and without doubt their places were so ordered by their parents The like may be gathered out of these phrases Esau was a man of the field and Iaakob dwelt intents It is noted of Samuel that he made his two sonnes Iudges Had they beene as faithfull in well vsing their places as their father was carefull in prouiding them they might haue liued well themselues and done much good to others Ishai hauing many sonnes had a care hereof for he sent his three eldest sonnes to the war and placed them in a souldiers course of life his youngest he made a shepheard which was in those daies and places a calling of greater reckoning then now it is with vs. 1. Thus shall they make vse of that abilitie whereunto by their parents prouidence and their owne diligence they haue attained otherwise that abilitie may soone be lost Doth not daily experience shew that many who haue beene well trained vp by their parents in learning so farre as they haue beene fit to haue entred into the ministerie for want of place and imploiment haue in time so forgotten all as if they had neuer beene trained vp in learning and so in other sciences 2. Thus come they to doe much more good in Church or Common-wealth till men be placed in distinct callings they are but fitting and preparing for future times I denie not but that both Church and Common-wealth may reape much benefit by the paines and labour of the younger sort who are trained vp vnder others but most properly are they counted members of the Church and Common-wealth and actuall instruments of the good thereof who haue some particular distinct calling whereby they doe good to others 3. Thus they come to liue of themselues and to be able to releeue others also All the time of their education they are commonly at the charge of others at least though by their paines they may gaine much yet the gaine returnes to others they themselues for the most part haue but a bare maintenance meat drinke and cloth as we say little haue they to lay vp for themselues for the time to come or to giue to others for the present 4. They thus come to traine vp others against after times as they themselues haue beene trained vp whereby a continuall and perpetuall succession of all kindes of callings is from time to time preserued and thus Family Church and Common-wealth vpheld and maintained In short time would all callings and functions vtterly decay if a continuall supplie were not thus made §. 51. Direction for parents in prouiding callings for their children Two
for their children 1. That the match which they prouide be meet so said God when he was about to prouide a match for Adam I will make him an helpe meet for him Therefore the match prouided must not be too neere of kin of a contrary religion of too vnequall an age of too great disparity in estate These things will hinder loue and cause disdaine and hatred of one another 2. Though the match may seeme meet in the parents eie yet he may not force his childe thereto Could a fitter match haue beene found out for Rebekah then Isaak yet Rebekahs friends asked her consent I denie not but parents may vse all manner of faire meanes to moue their children to yeeld to that which they see good for them but if they cannot moue them to yeeld to referre the matter to God and not against their childrens minds to force them When God had made a most meet match for Adam he brought her to the man namely to see how he would like her For the neerest bond of all is betwixt man and wife a man must leaue father and mother and cleaue vnto his wife man and wife must alwaies liue together great reason therefore that at the first ioyning them together there be a mutuall liking of one another lest euer after there be a perpetuall dislike and though the authority of parents ought in this case to be inuiolable yet a middle course is so to be held as the parties may willingly with a mutuall consent ioyne themselues together §. 55. Of the extremes contrary to parents care in prouiding fit mariages for their children The extreme in the defect is when parents carelesly let their children passe the floure of their age and neuer consider whether need require that they should mary or no. Their children may sit long enough before they seeke out a match for them vnlesse it be brought to them and when one is offered though it be neuer so fit yet except they may make an aduantage thereof to themselues they will hardly yeeld to it Thus they make their children to seeke out mariages for themselues and without their consent to make them vp or else to liue in discontent if not in vncleannesse By the carelesnesse of parents in this respect are children oft made a prey to the deuill whereof at the day of iudgement parents shall giue an account to God The extreme in the excesse is when parents through a couetous desire to get great and rich matches for their children marie them before they be of yeares of discretion to like or dislike to know what is meet or vnmeet or able to performe euen the essentiall duties of mariages seldome doe such vnlawfull mariages prosper In a like excesse doe they offend who for outward aduantages match their children to such as by nature are vnfit for mariage to ideots to idolaters to profane persons or they care not to whom And if their children like not these matches they will doe to the vttermost of their power what they can to force them thereunto Many mischiefes ordinarily fall out vpon such mariages as vtter dislike betwixt husband and wife continuall complaining one of another inquiring after diuorce or any other separation wishing yea practising one anothers death To all these mischiefes doe parents the cause thereof make themselues accessary §. 56. Of parents prouiding a stocke for callings and mariages of their children An especiall outward meanes whereby parents may be the better inabled to prouide fit callings and mariages for their children is before hand to lay vp some stocke or competent portion for their children This is comprised vnder that generall prouision whereof he that is carelesse is counted by the Apostle worse then an insidell but more expresly is it noted in these words Parents ought to lay vp for their children and commended in Abrahams example While children are vnder their parents they haue no meanes to lay vp for themselues for all their seruice is for their parents But in regard of the times wherein we liue it is needfull for setting vp in a good calling and for obtaining a fit match that children haue some stocke and portion It lieth therefore vpon the parents and their duty it is to prouide it Obiect Christ forbiddeth to lay vp treasures on earth Answ If the scope of that place be rightly marked it will appeare that Christ there forbiddeth not simply the thing it selfe but 1. The minde of him that layeth vp namely when it is filled full of carking and distrustfull thoughts fearing that in the time to come he shall not haue sufficient To this purpose doth Christ propound Gods prouidence ouer fowles and lillies 2. The manner of laying vp when temporall things are preferred before spirituall and heauenly therefore he addeth this precept but lay vp treasures in heauen c. 3. The measure when men neuer thinke they haue laid vp enough but scrape what they can come by iustly or vniustly and spare more then needs euen things necessary from themselues and others to make a great stocke and portion for their children The word of treasuring vp which Christ there vseth implieth an immoderate measure Among other needfull cautions for parents to be obserued in laying vp for their children these three are especially to be noted 1. That iustly they come by that which they lay vp and lay nothing towards a childs portion which is any way vniustly gotten for the treasures of wickednesse profit nothing they may proue a fire to consume parents themselues their children their house and whole posterity 2. That they couet not too much to make their children rich and for that purpose liue meanly and basely themselues yea and depriue themselues of many necessaries An egregious point of folly is this which Solomon hath much taxed 3. That all needfull duties of charity to the poore and of iustice to the Church and common-wealth be performed and pretext of laying vp for children hinder none of these §. 57. Of the extremes contrary to a parents prouiding portions for his children The extremes contrary to the forenamed dutie are these 1. When parents liue at the vttermost extent of their estate and from time to time spend all their reuenues or all their gaines and so are scarce able to make euen at quarter day or yeares end What stocke or portion can they lay vp for children 2. When parents liue aboue their estate and spend riotously their ordinary gaines or reuenues and for other necessary affaires are forced to runne into debt Many are so farre from helping their children in this kinde as they are maine hinderance vnto them vrging their eldest sonne especially who is their heire to be bound for them and so lay such a burden on his backe as to vse the common phrase they make it cracke againe 3. When parents haue enough for themselues and their children and yet so
nor through miserablenesse and niggardlinesse carry themselues vnbeseeming the place wherein God hath set them and estate which he hath bestowed vpon them He that liueth somewhat vnder his meanes hath opportunitie to lay vp portions for other children if he haue many and to reserue his inheritance intire to his eldest beside many other good workes of charity as God shall offer occasion which he that liueth aboue his meanes cannot doe §. 65. Of the inconueniences which improuident parents bring their children vnto after their death Contrary to this branch of a parents prouidence are many courses of improuident parents For 1. Some parents lauish and bezell out all their estate in their owne life time making it to determine in their persons Vnworthy they are to receiue any inheritance from ancestors Their fault is double 1. In spending prodigally aboue their estate 2. In wronging their children and depriuing them of their right for particular persons succeding one another are but as diuers linkes of a continued family which are by Gods prouidence added one to another this chaine is not to be broken at any mans pleasure but for the preseruation thereof that which hath beene receiued of the predecessors must be left to the successors 2. Others leaue their estate to their children but so incumbred with debts bonds recognizances and statutes as their children were better be without it then haue it For the hauing it maketh them liue at an answerable rate and bringeth many burdens vpon them besides the debts wherein they stand obliged make them as seruants to their creditors and in time they must be forced to sell all or as captiues lie in prison 3. Others though they deale not so hardly with their children yet they deale too hardly by peeling and polling their inheritance as much as they can they wil not forbeare to make any present gaine that they can though it tend neuer so much to the preiudice and dammage of their children after them as they who cut downe all the timber and wood that they can and take out all the heart of their land 4. Among these may be reckoned such parents as by meere negligence suffer things to goe to decay for want of timely reparations whereby it commeth to passe that such dammages as in the parents time might haue beene preuented with laying out a few shillings cannot be renewed with many pounds 5. Such also as care not in their life time to cleere the titles of those things which they leaue to their children but leaue all things so vnsetled and litigious as it oft costs children more in suit of law to maintaine the inheritance which their parents leaue them then the inheritance is worth and yet after all their paines and cost lose the inheritance too whereas the parent that knew more then the childe can might with small paines and charge haue well setled and cleered all These are mischiefes that many children haue beene brought into by the improuidence of their parents which are the rather to be made knowne that such as come after may proue the more prouident for their children §. 66. Of parents impartiall respect to all their children Hitherto of parents duties The persons to whom those duties are to be performed are distinctly to be considered The parties to whom parents are to performe all the forenamed duties are expressed vnder this word Children which hath not any speciall respect to prioritie of birth to constitution of body to affection of parent or any such thing as if first borne proper beautifull darling or the like children were only meant but all that are begotten and borne of parents all their children are meant Whence I obserue that Parents ought to haue an impartiall respect to all their children and performe dutie indifferently and equally to all We haue for proofe hereof Gods patterne who accounteth all his children deare or beloued children The Greeke word translated deare is very emphaticall it is properly attributed to an only childe the seuentie that translated the Hebrew Bible into Greeke doe with this word interpret that phrase Only Sonne for where in Hebrew it is thus said to Abraham take thy sonne thine only one they thus translate it take thy sonne thy deare one or thy beloued one Other Greeke authors doe so attribute the same word to an only childe yea also and to an only eie as when a man hath but one eie they call it a beloued eie This word then sheweth that God so respecteth all his children as if all were but one all a first-borne all a darling childe So rare a vertue this impartiall respect is rare in the excellencie of it rare also in the scarcitie of it as thorowout the Scripture I can scarce finde a perfect patterne thereof among the sonnes of men Many may be giuen of the contrary as we shall after heare But the more rare it is the more we must labour after it that so we may resemble Gods fatherhood 1. All our children come from our owne substance and bowels Why then should we respect one childe aboue another more then we doe one eie or one eare aboue another We are as tender ouer one as ouer another though it may be we haue more vse of one then of another 2. All our children are alike committed to vs by God the same precepts and directions giuen for all alike the like account to be giuen for all If a King should commit many of his children to one nurse would not he be offended and that iustly if she should put such a difference betwixt them through a foolish partialitie as to respect some and neglect others §. 67. Of parents preferring a dutifull childe before a disobedient childe Obiect What if one childe be more pious to God and parent another more rebellious may not a parent respect that more then this 1. Answ He may take notice of their different carriage and accordingly reward the one and punish the other and yet carrie an equall desire of doing good to both of them alike for the punishing of the rebellious childe is a parents dutie an euidence of loue and a meanes of doing him good 2. Answ It is no partialitie to like grace and goodnesse in a childe and for grace and goodnesse sake to loue his childe so much the more as also for impietie and obstinacy in rebellion to haue his heart the more alienated from his childe this is rather a vertue in a parent Partialitie is when on by and vndue respects one childe is preferred before another §. 68. Of the prerogatiue of the first-borne sonne Quest May not a parent preferre his first-borne childe and heire before his other children Answ We must put difference betwixt a fathers disposing his estate vpon his children and the ordering of his affection towards them A parents affection and care of good education and desire of true good and faithfull praiers to God may be as great towards his younger
no small sinne §. 21. Of seruing with sincerity The second branch concerning the manner of seruants performing their dutie is in these words in singlenesse of heart so as all must be performed with an honest and vpright heart whatsoeuer yee doe doe it heartily saith the Apostle to seruants in another place Thus did Ioseph in singlenesse of heart serue his master instance his refusing to abuse his mistresse in a priuate chamber when she desired it and no other body was in the house Happy were it for masters to haue such seruants then might they take no more care then Potiphar did but put all that they haue into their seruants hands Neither would this rare vertue in seruants be only profitable to their masters but also very comfortable to themselues and bring them much peace of conscience Contrary is hypocriticall seruice when seruants haue a heart and a heart making shew-of one heart outwardly and haue another euen a cleane contrary heart within them Such an one was Gehazi who came in and stood before his master as if he had performed some good seruice for his master when he had most highly dishonoured him and such an one was Iudas who carried as faire a face to his master as any of the disciples and yet was an arrant traitor for when he was thought to goe out to buy prouision for his master he went to betray him All eye-seruice is contrary to the forenamed singlenesse of heart when seruants are diligent so long as their masters eye is on them like little children that will doe any thing their mother will haue them doe while her eye is vpon them but nothing when her backe is turned The world is full of such eye-seruing seruants who while their masters are present will be as busie as Bees but if he be away then either idling at home or gadding abroad or nothing but wrangling and eating and drinking with the drunken like that lewd seruant whom Christ noteth in the parable Let the iudgement denounced against him be noted of such seruants §. 22. Of seruing for conscience sake The third branch of the manner of seruants performing their dutie is in these words as vnto Christ as the seruants of Christ doing the will of God as to the Lord all which doe set forth a good conscience or such seruice as is performed for conscience sake or for the Lords sake which is all one because the conscience hath an eye only to the Lord to his will and to his ordinance Though there were no other motiue in the world to moue them to obey their masters yet their conscience to God would moue them Such was Iosephs manner of seruing his master as the reason which he himselfe rendreth to his mistresse sheweth How can I doe this great wickednesse and sinne against God The prayer which Abrahams seruant made to God and the thanks which he rendred to him for blessing his iourney shew that he serued his master for the Lords sake It is more cleare then needs be proued that such was Iaakobs seruice to his master This is the rather to be noted of Christian seruants because herein lieth the greatest difference betwixt beleeuing seruants and others others may serue with feare and trembling in singlenesse of heart and with good will but only Saints doe seruice as to Christ for conscience sake If this be not that which only they aime at yet assuredly they doe chiefly and principally aime at it which maketh them not to content themselues with doing the thing but to endeuour to doe it after the best manner that they can so as God may best accept thereof whereby as they approue themselues to God so they doe much good to their masters and bring much comfort vnto their owne soules Contrary is the minde of most who doe all the seruice which they doe on by-respects they may performe much dutie and it may be doe much good to their masters and thereupon they may get good wages at their masters hands and extraordinarie recompence also and liue in much quiet vnder them but no reward can they looke for at Gods hands so as I may say to such seruants as Christ said to those who did all to haue glory of men They haue their reward §. 23. Of seruants willingnesse to performe their dutie The fourth branch respecting the manner of seruants performing their dutie is noted in this phrase with good will This good will of a seruant to his master hath respect partly to the disposition of the seruant and so it implieth willingnesse and cheerefulnesse and partly to the benefit of the master and so it implieth faithfulnesse Of willingnesse to doe that dutie which belongeth to a seruant Christ Iesus who tooke vpon him the forme of a seruant hath made himselfe a worthy patterne I delight to doe thy will saith he to him that sent him and againe My meat is to doe the will of him that sent me and to finish his worke Doth not a man eat his meat willingly with delight and cheerefulnesse euen so did Christ the worke of him that sent him So cheerefully did Iaakob serue his Vncle Laban that seuen yeeres seemed to him but a few dayes Obiect The reason thereof was the loue he had to Rachel 1. Answ This was one reason but not the only reason had he not borne good will to his Vncle and Master as well as loue to his wife the time might haue seemed tedious enough but both meeting together made the time passe away the better 2. Answ If the loue he had to Rachel made him doe his seruice so cheerefully then if seruants loue God for whose sake they ought to doe their seruice it will cheerefully be done 1. That which the Apostle applieth to giuing of almes 2 Cor. 9. 7. may be extended to all manner of duties which God requireth God loueth cheerefulnesse that worke therefore which is not seasoned therewith God regardeth not 2. As cheerefulnesse maketh God the better to like the worke so it maketh the worke much more easie to him that doth it Our common prouerbe noteth as much Nothing is hard to a willing minde 3. Let there be cheerefulnesse in a seruants minde and he is as free as his master for such a seruant is the Lords freeman 1 Cor. 7. 22. and when he cannot be made free of his master he doth after a manner make his seruice free Haue an eye to God to his acceptation and remuneration and it will quicken thy spirit Mans reward maketh poore men glad of worke and cheerefull in doing their worke it is as sugar to sharpe wine Tradesmen Physitians Lawyers all sorts of men are by gaine drawne on with great willingnesse to take great paines Should not Gods recompence of our paines make vs much more willing Surely it would if we had such an eye of faith as Moses had thereby to
of loue Deut. 13. 6. 3. Loue keepes a man from abusing his authority 4. Loue maketh him beare with her infirmities 5. His loue draweth loue from her How loue is an husbands particular dutie 1 Cor. 13. 5. Loue a common condition to be annexed to euerie dutie Contrary 1. Hatred Deut. 22. 13 c. Deut. 24. 3. Mat. 19. 8. 2. Want of loue 1 Ioh. 4. 20. * Treat 3. §. 9. Branches of loue II. Husbands must maintaine their authoritie 1 Pet. 3. 7. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 See Treat 3. §. 3. Reasons 1. Gods authoritie maintained by the husbands 1 Cor. 11. 7. 2. The wiues good promoted thereby It is in the mans power to maintaine his authoritie 1 Tim. 4. 12. How a mans authority may be well maintained Ad viros pertinet virtute vincere exemplo regere foeminaâ— Aug. de Adult Coniug lib. 2. cap. 8. Contrary 1. base carriage 2. Cruell dealing 3. Yeelding in vnlawfull things a Dent. 13. 6 7. b 1 King 21. 7 9. 1 King 11. 4. Maximè obseruate vos atque attendite anim bus vestris ô viri ab vxoris concitationibus atque malis instigationibus per hanc enim in vltimo supplantare Job visus est diabolus c. per istas etiam nunc plurimos subuertit Orig. in Ioh. lib. 2. * Treat 3. §. 3. How a mans authority may be well managed Husbands must account their wiues yoke-fellowes 1 Pet. 3. 7. Gen. 2. 18. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Eph. 5. 28. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 * Treat 3. §. 4. Rom. 8. 17. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 1 Cor. 3. 9. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Vxor serua domina est viri Chrysost in 1 Cor. 7. hom 19. * Debet in vxorem vir dominari vt animus in corpus coÌ„sentiens ei conspirans beneuolentia Plut. praec connub Non es dominus sed maritus non ancillam sortitus es sed vxorem gubernatorem â—e Deus voluit esse sexus inferioris non praepotentem Ambr. Hexaem lib. 5. cap. 7. * Treat 3. §. 5. IIII. Husbands must account their owne wiues best for them a Eph. 5. 25. b Ves 28. Reason Euery ones wife is prouided by God c Pro. 19. 14. d 18. 22. e Socrates interrogatus qua gratia vxoris mores toleraret respondit vt gymnasium palaestram philosophiae domi habeam Chrys hom 26. in 1 Cor. 11. f Ars tua Tiphy iacet si non sit in aequore fluctus Ouid. de Trist l. 4. eleg 3. * Treat 3. §. 7. V. Husbands must intirely delight in their wiues a Ezec. 24. 16. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 b Gen. 24. 67. Pro. 5. 18 19. expounded 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Col. 1. 13. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Nihil viro vxore bona amabilius Hier. in Ezec. 24. Gen. 26. 8. * Treat 3. §. 10. VI. Husbands must kindly accept euery good duty of his wife Gen. 21. 8. 1 Sam. 1. 23. Contrary 1. To take no notice of their wiues goodnesse 2. Sleightly to passe it ouer 1 Sam. 25. 21. 3. Scornfully to reiect it Rom. 12. 21. Ephes 6. 4. * Treat 3. §. 11. 55. How a mans good acceptance of his wiues duty is manifested 1. By answering reuerence with courtesie Depone asperitatem morum cum tibi sedula vxor occurrit c. Ambr. Hexaem lib. 5. cap. 7. Courtesie may stand with superiority Gen. 23. 6 7. Gen. 33. 3 4. Esth 5. 2. * Treat 3. §. 15. 2. By granting her humble request a Est 5. 3. b 1 King 1. 28. c. c Gen. 28. 1. d 16. 6. e 21. 10. 11. * §. 5. * Treat 3. § 38 39 c. §. 43 44 c. 3. By accepting what she is willing to doe 4. By forbearing to exact too much 5. By suffering her to dwell where it is meetest for her a Gen. 31. 4 c. 6. By forbearing to tire her with guests 7. By suffering her to manage the affaires of the house b 1 Sam. 1. 23. c Pro. 31. 11. d 1 Tim. 5. 14. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 * Materfamilias What things are to be put to the wiues disposing e Pro. 31. 21 22. f Uers 15. g Gen. 16. 6. h 1 Tim. 5. 10. T it 2 4. 2 King 4. 19. Cautions about referring matters of the house to the wiues ordering i Pro. 31. 11. k Gen. 39. 6. Difference betwixt the trust put in a wife and in others In what things an husband manifesteth too much strictnesse Gen. 2. 18. Pro. 20. 7. 14. 8. 20. 3. 1 Tim. 6. 4. Husbands must commend and reward good things in their wiues a Rom. 13. 3. c Vers 31. b Prou. 31. 28 29. * Lege apud T. Liv. Dec. 1. l. 1. quid inde evenit quòd regij iuuenes suam quisque vxorem miris modis laudare Quisque suam laudot studijs certamina crescunt Ouid. Fast lib. 2. * Treat 3. §. 10. Oportet virum praecsse vxori oblectando indulgendo Plut. praec Connub 2 Tim. 2. 24. Col. 3 19. * Treat 3. §. 13. 14. Wherein a husbands mildnesse is manifested * Of his speech about her behinde her backe See Treat 2. Part. 2. §. 36. The speech of husbands to their wiues sweetned with mildnesse 1. Mild and kinde titles Contrary vnseemely titles Instruction to be giuen with meeknesse 2 Tim. 2. 25. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Directions to instruct with meekenesse Contrary harshnesse * Treat 3. §. 43 51 52. 63 64. c. Commandements to be ordered with mildnesse What things he may command his wife What things he may forbid his wife Such things as a wife maketh doubt of not to be pressed vpon her Rom. 14. 23. Of what doubtfull things the commanding power of a gouernour may be a warrant * Treat 4. §. 66. How a wiues refusing to yeeld may be discerned to be on obstinacy or weakenesse * Treat 3. §. 43 44. c. * Treat 3. §. 28. Est 1. 10. Reasons of pressing a coÌ„mandement to be rendred 1. Commanding must be rare 2. Commanding must be by way of intreating Philem. 9. Gen. 12. 13. * Treat 3. §. 47. Husbands ought to reproue a Pro. 15. 31. b 6. 23. c Psal 141. 5. See the fruits of reproofe Treat 3. §. 47. d Gen. 30. 2. e Iob 2. 10. f 2 Sam. 6. 21 22. Leuit. 19. 17. * Treat 3. §. 47 An husbands reproofe must be sweetned with mildnes * §. 44. Matter of reproofe 1. Iust Matth. 18. 15. 1 Tim 5. 19. 2. Weigh y. m Gen. 30. 2. n Iob 2. 10. o 2 Sam. 6. 21 22. Contrary 1. Credulitie 2. Suspicion 3. Rashnesse Luk 4. 23. Mat. 7. 5. Rom. 2. 21. Rom. 2. 1. Gen. 38. 26. 2 Sam. 12. 13. Manner of reprouing 1. Seldome Contrary continuall chiding 2. Reproue mildly Gal 6. 1. 3. Reproue in secret Mat. 18. 15. Direction for reprouing such a wife as regardeth not a secret
reproofe Mat. 18. 15. Direction for reprouing a wife whose offence is publike 4. Reproue gently Pro. 25. 15. A reproofe may be sharpe not bitter Gen. 30. 2. Iob 2. 10. 2 Sam. 6. 21 22. Rebuke neuer to be giuen by a man in passion Mat. 6. 22. Rebuke to be put off while a wife is in passion 1 Sam. 20. 30. 1 Sam. 20. 32. * Treat 3. §. 10. An husbands cariage must be milde 1. A milde countenance Gen. 33. 10. Psal 4. 6. Gen. 4. 6. Gen. 31. 2. Contrary 1. A lofty brow 2. A grim looke 3. A frowning forehead 4. A fiery eye 2. Mild geslure Obiect Gen. 26. 8. Answ 1 Sam. 1. 4 5. 1 Sam. 1. 4. Vipera virus ob venerationem nuptiarum euomit Et tu duritiem animi tuferitatem tu crudelitatem ob vnionis reuerentiam non deponis Basil Hexaem hom 7. Ambr. Hexaem l. 5. c. 7. vrget hanc ipsam similitudinem Huiusmodi virum siquidem vir appellandus est potius quà m fera patricidae matricidae similem dixeris Chrys hom 26. in 1 Cor. 11. An husband may not beat his wife Reasons 1. No warrant in the word * §. 4. 2. Small disparity Summa iniuria est vitae sociam in rebus necessarijs tibi coniunctam taquà m mancipium ignominia affioere Chrys ibid. 3. Neere coniunction a Eph. 5. 31. b 1 King 18. 28. c Mar. 5. 5. Eph. 5. 30. Mat. 28. 18. 4. No profit much mischiefe Adhibitis verberibus morbus non tollitur sed augetur exasperatur Melch. Iun. quaest Polit. par 2. Nullum sit tam magnum peccatum quod ad verberandum vxorem compellat Chrys hom 26. in 1 Cor. 11. Sedefendendo Gal. 6. 2. Considera mulierem debile vas esse tu autem vir propterea princeps factus es vt subditae feras imbecillitatem Chrys hom 26. in 1. Cor. 11. 1. Pet. 3. 7. Directions to husbands for bearing with their wiues infirmities Neque Saram tanquam sterilem contempsit Abraham nâ—que quicquam tale exprobauit Si vxor pauper sit noli exprobare si stulta noli ei insultare Ibid. Uxor iracunda c. admonenda adiuvanda consilio omni conatu anniten dum vt illis liberetur affectibus Ibid. 1 Sam. 1. 8. Gen. 21. 14. Prou. 19. 11. Eccl 7. 23. Gen. 30. 1. 2 c. Reason Best tryall of a mans wisdome loue Matth. 5. 46. Luk. 6. 32 33. Eph. 5. 23. * Treat 1. §. 15. Treat 3. §. 73. 1. Prouiding things needfull 1 Pet. 3. 7. 1 Tim. 5. 17. 1 Tim. 5. 8. Recordare quòd pater vxoris taÌ„quam depositum quoddam filiam tibi tradidit omnibus relictis matre domo seipso omnem eius curaÌ„ tuae dexterae commisit Chrys hoÌ„ 26. in 1. Cor. 11. Contrary to take a wife only for himselfe Pro. 18. 22. Priuate means of edification Act. 10. 2 30. Iudg. 17. 10. 2 King 4. 11. Publike meanes of edification 1 Sam. 1. 7. 2. 19. Luk. 2. 41. Ezek. 3. 18. c. b Jsa 4. 1. c Exo. 21. 10. * Treat 2. Part. 2. §. 29. Treat 3. §. 49. The paines of womens trauell Psal 48 6. Isa 13. 8. 21. 3 Ier. 4. 31. 30. 6. Mic. 49. Gen. 35. 16 c. 1 Sam. 4. 19. 20. * See Treat 2. Part. 2. § 30. 39. Si quid vxor peccauerit consolare noli moerorem augere Chrys hom 26. in 1 Cor. 11. * Treat 3. §. 38. 1 Sam. 1. 23. * §. 6. * Treat 3. §. 23. 29. 33. Pro. 31. 15. c. Vers 21. Uers 28. Vers 20. Vers 11. Uers 28. 1 Pet. 3. 7. Eph 4. 8. Husbands before they die must make their will euen for their wiues good 1 King 1. 21. Husbands on their death-bed must commend their wiues to some faithfull friend Iob. 19 26 27. Reason Truest triall of loue at departure Contrary 1. A wilfull inability 2 Making away their wiues ioynter or any other right 3. Defeating of thirds Rom. 13. 5. 4. Making no will Gen. 20 16. Ruth 3. 9. Ruth 2. 12. * Treat 1. §. 15. and treat 3. §. 73. 1 Sam. 27. 3. 30. 18. A wife must be kept from being seduced A wise stolne away must be fetched home Iudg. 19. 2. 2 San. 3. 13 14. 1 Sam. 30. 18. A wiues credit must be maintained See Treat 2. Part 2. §. 31. c. Luke 10. 16. A wife must be defended against strangers seruants and children Est 7. 7 8. c. Licèt omnia proijcias nihil molestius continget quà m non habere beneuolam domi vxorem peccatum nullum magis dolendum inueneris quà m cum vxore seditionem habere Chrysost hoÌ„ 26. in 1. Cor. 11. Genes 16. 6. 21. 14. Contrary Dissolute carelesnesse 1. In suffering seducers to come to the house 2. In suffering wiues to goe whither they list Luke 15. 4. 3. In not regarding ill reports of wiues Pro. 12. 4. 4. In suffering wiues to be misused Exod. 2. 13. 5. In boulstring vp children or seruants against wiues Si illam quae secundum post te locum obtinet contumelia afficis non parum tui principatus honori derogas Chrys loc cit The manner of an husbands loue set forth by Christs manner of louing his Church in six branches 1. Christ first loueth the Church 1 Joh. 4. 19. Cant. 1. 2. Husbands must by their loue prouoke their wiues to loue Pro. 2. 17. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Sicaput est vir praecedere debet in omnibus bonis factis vxorem suam vt illa imitetur virum sequatur caput suum Aug. de decem chor c. 3. * Treat 1. §. 10. Treat 3. §. 57. 2. Christ loueth in truth Vers 26 27. Husbands must loue in deed * 1 Ioh. 3. 18. * 1 Cor. 9. 5. 3. Christ loueth freely Deut. 7. 7 8. Eph. 5. 27. Husbands loue must be free 1 Cor. 13. 5. 1 Pet. 3. 7. 4. Christs loue pure Eph. 5. 26 27. 1 Cor. 12. 12 13 Husbands loue must be chaste Heb. 13. 4. * Treat 2. part 2. §. 5 8. Heb. 13. 4. 5 Christs loue extended to the giuing of himselfe a Ephes 5 25. b Iohn 10. 11. c 15. 13. How husbands must loue their wiues more then themselues 1 Iohn 3. 16. Cautions about an husbands louing his wife more then himselfe 2 Cor. 12. 15. * Treat 3. §. 6. 6 Christs loue perpetuall a Ioh. 13. 1. b Hos 2. 19. Ier. 3. 1. 2 Sam. 7. 15. Husbands must be constant in their loue See Treat 1. §. 10. * Treat 3. §. 59. Eph. 5. 28. To Christs example the patterne of ones selfe is added 1. Because it is more sensible 2. Because it is more imitable The patterne of louing ones selfe setteth forth the same things that Christs loue doth 1 Cor. 2. 11. Man is tender towards himselfe Eph. 5. 29. Husbands must deale tenderly with their wiues Man is cheerefull in doing himselfe