my inward man may be filled with the Spirit whether the body live or dye as for the bodies sake I care not though the body be hunger starved it shall for sure I am it will be well content if the Spirit be thus fed and filled with the presence breathings and Communion of thy Spirit t is not Ah Lord t is not thou well knowest the Quails and Mannah from Heaven nor thy body and blood corporally but spiritually that my Soul longeth for and my heart desireth aud panteth after so that it even fainteth for lack of it Ah give me that or else I dye I dye indeed corporally spiritually and eternally from which deaths O Lord by thine own death I trust I hope I believe and am confidently assured that thou hast delivered me and wilt deliver me by giving me this Heavenly food of thy holy Spirit to live in thee for thee and to thee here by grace and hereafter in glory this is my belief O Lord increase my Faith strengthen it and comfort it more and more by thine own Spirits living raigning and ruling in my heart by causing it willingly cheerfully and perseveringly to walk in thy waies doing thy will with sincerity integrity and uprightnesse in thought word and deed both towards thee and towards all men for ever and for ever 56. He that maketh wagers usually coveteth if not alwaies therefore surely its best to forbear 57. Ah Lord keep me from coveting any other thing than thy self and thy holy and blessed Spirit to teach me lead me direct me guide and govern me my heart and affections to walk in all thy holy waies and to keep all thy Commandments all my daies 58. For worldly covetings after the things of this World keep our thoughts hearts memories and affections from seeking with coveting desires the things of Heaven or Heavenly things 59. Let me covet thee O Lord ever ever But all things or any thing out of thee never 60. Let my Love be to love thee my delight to delight thee my care O Lord let it be to please thee my groanings to go after thee in thy wayes and let all my joyes be to rejoyce in thee and thy praise and to praise thee O Lord my Lord alalwies 61. Ah suffer me not in other to spend my daies But thus uprightly to walk in all thy waies 62. Covetings for the World makes the affections of the heart to affect the World but covetings for and after Heaven makes the heart and all the affections thereof to affect Heaven and the things in Heaven with a heavenly heart 63. Covetings for the World makes the heart earthly but covetings for Heaven makes the heart heavenly 64. Covetings after God makes the heart God-like according to his heart Covetings after any thing out of God or besides God makes the heart ungodly that is ungodlike and contrary to his heart 65. Couetings after the flesh makes the heart fleshly or a heart in the flesh Covetings after the Spirit makes the heart spiritual yea a heart living in Gods Spirit 66. I suppose that if a man love at times unlawfully lusting after strange flesh only with the flesh that is desires and would their Loves with the flesh but not with the will and mind which is the heart though the flesh saith yea and yields if the Spirit faith nay and yields not and doth much more ardently and vehemently desire and would not their Loves then the flesh doth and would their Loves and the Spirit that is their inward man would much rather have the hatred than their loves and hath sincere hatred and dislike to this Love by the flesh faithfully truly ardently and continually It is not he that sins but sin that dwelleth in him for though with his flesh he serve the Law of sin please the flesh yet he hates detests and abhors the evil which he doth and with his mind he serves the Law of God Gods Law is written in his heart and remains engraven still in the inner man on all his affections 67. As to me I willingly most willingly would if it might be love none but my God alone 68. True Lord true it is the outward man that is the flesh desireth and delighteth in the things of the flesh because it is fleshly as the inner man the heart of the soul and the soul of the heart and all the faculties thereof delighteth and rejoyceth in the things of the Spirit because it is spiritual 69. I have no Heaven here Lord because my Heaven is in thee And yet I have a Heaven Lord here because thou that art Heaven art here and in me 70. Above all keepings keep O Lord O Lord keep my heart my poor heart from sin from choosing delighting approving countenancing or maintaining sin 71. But this is not all no Lord no thou knowest it s to be thy servant to work thy work to do thy will not for my self as for thy self not for my praise applause or honour but for thine for I could not be satisfied though I had all I would have unlesse I do all that for which thou hast created me and appointed me to do 72. 'T is not Ah 't is not the Corn Wine and Oyl of the World the honours riches and pleasures thereof 't is not the honey of Earth but heavens honey that my Soul desireth to tast and ever to feed upon 73. If I had and were ever sure to have all the satisfaction that ever Creature had and I had thee not O my God for my Portion as I firmly believe I have I should and would account my self of all men on Earth the most miserablest 74. I would not give the part and Portion that I have at present in my God for all this Worlds good for all its honours riches and pleasures 75. Ah Lord how much nothing doth all things seem to be when compared to thee 76. Faith hope and Love in thee and for thee O Lord is more worth than all things else that can be given that is not of thee 77. Who is able or can expresse the satisfactions of that Soul unto whom thou hast given Love cordial faithful sincere and persevering Love to love thee 78. Ah how sweet a thing is it to serve the Lord Ah how pleasant and delightsome to walk alwaies in all his wayes and to do all his will willingly 79. Ah Lord my only grief and trouble is because I keep not thy Laws and for that I have not regard to thy Commandments as I would 80. Ah that I were even as a barren wildernesse to bear no fruit for my self and as a dry Spring to give no refreshment to my self to my own self that is my flesh Ah that I were as it were livelesse and lovelesse to my self â—hat I might only live to love and adore thee my God my God 81. What is my life or my self if it be not spent for thee and what are all my daies if I walk not only and
but let this heat of the fire of thy love burn and consume all the cold Winter frost of the weeds and roots of sin and Corruption that my soul may be as a pleasant garden for thee ' O Lord my King and my God to take pleasure in 156. Thou hast O God thou hast thou hast in a very great measure Turn'd the Mountains of my sins into a Valley of pleasure 157. God is my God and therefore he will be my God alwayes so whatever temptations fall on me I will not fear them for God who is my God is stronger then all and his love is above all either in Heaven above or on earth or Hell below 158. He that truly loves all good must truly hate all evil for love to good produceth alwayes in all hatred to evil for there is a contrary to every thing as light is contrary to darknesse therefore loving the one good we must and can do no other then hate the other which is the contrary evil 159. Having our eyes opened our understandings enlightned we then see sin in its colours 〈◊〉 it is in it self sinful and therefore we must hate it and we can then do no other but hate it wtch perfect which is sincere hatred not only leave al◠sin but heartily unfainedly and sincerely with our whole hearts hate all sin and loath all sin being changed and brought out of darknesse which is from sin into the marvelous light of the knowledge of the love of God we cannot being cloathed with his nature loving what he loves holinesse and Righteousnesse but hate what he hates which is all sin and wickednesse having put Christ Jesus on we must put the other off the world flesh and Devil and all their works sticking to Christ and holding him fast we must and will and can do no other still then let goe our hold to all things out of him and besides him for according as our love is to the one so our hatred will be nay is to the other they being contraryes and opposite one unto another 160. He that truly loves the wayes of God which is Righteousnesse must doth and can do no other then hate the wayes of the Devil which is sin we cannot serve two such Masters it is impossible to love two such Contraryes 161. By our true sincere and unfained hatred to the one we may see and be sure of our unfained sincere and true love to the other and if we thus love truly all good we love God truly which ought and should assure us that we are beloved of God yea that we are his beloved through Jesus Christ the truly beloved whom he doth and ever will love truly us in him for his love is not yea nay unto us but yea in Christ yea and Amen 162. He that hath thee O God hath all and therefore he that wants thee wants all though he wants nothing else at all 163. He that possesseth thee O God possesseth surely the best possession that is or can be possest 164. He that knows thee O God hath perfect knowledge for none doth or can know thee but from and by thy holy spirit of true wisdome and knowledge all knowledge and wisdome else to this is meer foolishnesse 165. When we are in thee O God we are truly free free from all evil and filled with all good for all good is in thee and comes freely from thee as the Rivers from the Sea 166. Wash me make me clean O God in and by Christ that I may be pure in thy sight even as gold well refined without any dross or mixture perfectly pure pure in perfection 167. By giving we receive that is when our hearts are drawn forth sincerely to give what God hath given us I mean of spirituals God gives us what we would have yea and much above what we did ask or could think 168. When thus we beg for others to have that we may have to give Ah how good gratious bountiful is the Lord unto us in giving of us according to our hearts desires even the very desires of our hearts 169. When thus we desire grace to impart it unto others how agreeable unto God are our desires how Ah how doth he regard us reward us 170. When thus we are beggers for others God maketh us rich with the treasures of Heaven with that true riches which will make us rich for ever which is grace here and glory hereafter 171. When thus we mind others good and welfare as our own making their case ours sympathising with them both in their good and evil in their present and future happinesse then we shew forth that we live in God and that God liveth in us for where true love is God is for love is God and God is love 172. When we feel want in our Brethrens wants and are filled with what they are filled bearing their burthens of grief and sorrow with them it shews that we are of one heart and of one mind that we are Brethren if we have thus compassion one of another 173. And when we make their joyes our joyes it shews plainly that there is one spirit in us even the spirit of the love of God which is Christ Jesus our Lord who leadeth us in his paths and teacheth us to practise what he hath commanded us and his Children we are whom we obey whether of sin unto death or of Righteousnesse unto life By their works ye shall know as God who are his 174. When thus we are unto others what we are unto our selves it sheweth plainly that we are members of Christs mystical body and that he is our head 175. When thus we agree and sympathise in one anothers honour and dishonour sorrows and joys we shew forth that we are not two but one and this oneness sheweth also that we are one in Christ that he liveth in us and that we live in him that he is ours and that we are his 176. And when Christ thus owneth us for his own we may be sure that when he cometh at his second and sudden coming in glory we shall also appear with him and be made like him glorious as he is glorious though not so glorious 177. He that thinks any thing more worth then Christ is not worthy of Christ. 178. He that would not willingly loose all things for him and for his sake shall never have him not of him partake 179. He that holds any thing dearer then Christs love shall never partake of his love 180. But he that loveth him above all things beyond all things and more then all things may surely say that he hath all things for as Christ is above all God blessed for ever and for ever so he is all in all unto all those that truly love him 181. So sure as we would that he did love us so sure it is that he doth love us and more surer much by much and so much as we would that he did
of grace my sole comforter and only comfort 74. Grant that I may will nothing but thy will O thou my Father in Iesus Christ which art in Heaven 75. I had rather have thy smiles in Hell O my sweet and dear Iesus if it could be then thy frowns in Heaven 76. I had much rather if it could be be in Hell and obey God then in Heaven and sin against him 77. O God give me I most humbly beseech thee for Jesus Christ his sake those things and those things only both for soul and body on earth as may prepare me and make me fittest for Heaven 78. I had much rather choose death then choose to sin 79. Though I cannot live without sin here yet whilst I live here suffer me not O God at any time to consent unto sin 80. I do beleive that Christ Jesus is my Jesus and my Christ and that he makes intercession for me every moment and ever will even to my very last moment 81. I had much rather enjoy affliction with enjoying thee O my Saviour then all manner of prosperity if thou do'st not prosper it 82. As long O God as thou givest me bread water and grace I will acknowledge that I have sufficient meat drink and rayment yea that I fare delitiously and am arrayed more gloriously then if I were with purple scarlet and fine linnen 83. To do thy work O God is the wages I desire and which will and shall ever content me 84. Ah Lord I praise thee for that thou hast given me a heart to be willing to part from all things most willingly so I might part from all sin also 85. Dispose of all things as thou wilt O God do but only leave me thy self in possession 86. All good thoughts come in love O God from thee to me but woe me miserable me for that all evil thoughts come from my self in hatred to thee 87. Good Lord make my heart and all my thoughts such that I may be only such and alwayes such as thou would'st have me to be 88. Do thou O Christ live and raigne by thy power and might in me that the mighty power and raigne of sin may be cast out of me 89. Let not the things of the world put thee O Lord out of my mind not sin out of my heart to abhor it 90. Give me O Lord grace and power to Conquer and cast out all worldly lusts and affections out of my heart that there be a place for thee and thee only to dwell in my sweet Jesus 91. Grant O Lord that I may esteem the worlds gifts without thee my Saviour as the Devils gifts that will destroy me 92. Grant O Lord that I may ever beleive and esteem my best duties and performances as from my self to deserve nothing but shame confusion being but as filthy rags and a menstrous cloath and that I am less and less worth at the best then the least of all thy mercies 93. Nothing but thy blood O Lord can wash me nothing but thy death could satisfie for me nothing but thy resurrection can raise me and nothing but thy living can make me live 94. Let thy blessed Ordinances O Lord be more delightfull to me then my meat and drink and sweeter to my tast then the hony and the hony comb let them much more please me then the pleasures of Egypt which are but for a season 95. I had much rather have nothing of the world and hate it then all the world and love it 96. I had rather be the poorest in the world then the richest as for my own good and profit alone 97. I am more affraid of honour then of dishonour of riches then of poverty of high degree then of low degree of applause then of contempt or scorn of health then of sickness and of my life then of my death yet I know that God is all and in all these therefore I will feare neither for I know that that which he giveth is the best and I shall profit best by it 98. Ah that I had so much grace as to be alwayes able to meditate on the love and sweetness that is in my Saviour I would not leave that blessed condition of Communion with him one houre to gaine all that the world hath to give 99. Surely if I could alwaies think on my Saviour I would willingly alwayes think on him I would not only have him in all my thoughts but I would have him be all my thoughts 100. One moments Communion with the Spirit of grace were to be prefer'd incomparably above all the pleasures and sweets of sin though their end were not bitter but sweet 101. I would willingly loose all that I have of the world if so be I could loose the thoughts of it likewise 102. I would much rather have not any thing of the world and be not of the world then have all it hath and be of it 103. I cannot be poorer then to have the world and love it nor richer then to be without the world and hate it 104. Though I cannot remember what I should yet I remember well I never did nor I do not do what I would 105. I had rather say nothing then my own words when I speak by prayer or any other way unto God 106. Oh blessed Spirit Sanctifie my thoughts and my words when I take upon me to speak unto God or of God 107. Oh sweet Jesus present I most humbly beseech thee my prayers and my self unto thy Father that he may receive and accept of both through thy merits and mediation 108. O God my God give me grace so to live as I may be alwayes ready willing and rejoyce to dye let thy time be my time whether it be sleeping or waking on thy day or on ours whil'st I am doing thy work or mine owne thy time and thy will be done O Lord not mine 109. O Lord let me never leave sighing for sin till I leave sinning 110. Let sin O Lord be much more bitterer unto me after repentance then it was sweet before repentance 111. Let me O Lord esteem any death much sweeter then the bitter life of any sin though it live but a moment in me 112. Give me O Lord any affliction unless that which I cannot beare sin 113. Let me live so long here O Lord till I am utterly dead to all sin and sin dead to me and then Lord take me to thy self when thou wilt that I may live for ever to thee and with thee 114. O Lord though thou give me poverty and Contempt with the grace of content I shall be as rich and as honourable as I desire 115. Take my thoughts O Lord from the world and then take the world from me as soon as thou wilt 116. Give me O Lord so much grace to love thee that it may extinguish all other loves that are in me 117. Make me O Lord thy Servant and let me know it and I will
never desire nor ask any other honour or Condition 118. I would much rather have Christ in me and doubt it then not in me and believe it rather such true sorrow then such false joy 119. If Christ were not in Heaven I would not desire to be there my desire should be to be where Christ should be 120. Let me so love thee O Lord as I may alwayes fear thee and so fear thee as I may ever unfainedly love thee let these two graces be never sever'd from me nor I from them 121. Let no sin keep me from thee but let every and all sins drive me unto thee for I know that thou art a God pardoning all sins and Blasphemies all iniquities and transgressions of such as repent and resolve to do so no more and I know that thou art my God and Father in Jesus Christ. 122. Love me then so O Lord my God I humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ as to keep me unspotted that is from sinning against thee either in thought word or deed wittingly or willingly 123. Let thy mercyes O Lord my Lord and my good God so draw me and thy Judgments so drive me as I may never be at rest nor quiet untill I come to have quiet rest between thy breasts my dear my sweet and saving Jesus 124. Let me O Lord so think on the world as to hate it more and more untill thou givest me so much grace so to hate it as to think on it no more 125. Let me not O Lord live so long as to desire to be younger to live longer 126. But let me rejoyce in my age for that I am nearer the death of sin and the life of Eternall Glory 127. Make me O Lord not only such as I desire to be but such as thou would'st have me to be which is I trust to be one with thee and in thee 128. I desire O Lord not only to be what I would be but what I should be 129. It is in thee O Lord to give all things for thou art all things therefore of thee do I humbly beg all things 130. Let me not live one moment longer after I have done the work of my Generation that is not live for my self but for thee O Lord. 131. Let my will O Lord be only to do thy will to will thy will and to submit to thy wills will 132. Let me be wholly thine holy thine only thine all thine alwayes thine and ever thine here in thy Kingdome of grace and hereafter in thy Kingdome of Glory 133. I had much rather have the punishment of sin and not sin then the evil of sin and no punishment 134. Ah how sweet is it to want the worlds sweets and in its want to find no want but even in want most to abound 135. O Lord thou knowest I desire not so much the world as to have my thoughts and affections taken from the world 136. Could Heaven and Eternal life be purchased for to choose and commit one sin willingly I would not purchase nor have it on that condition but rather depend on the love and mercy of God in Jesus Christ. 137. I am sure God is my God because he hath given me a heart to fear him in love and to love him with fear and trembling to rejoyce in his Statutes to desire to do his will universally and to depend and trust on his sure mercies and faithfull promise in Jesus Christ. 138. I am sure God did ever love me because I am sure he doth now love me and therefore I am sure he will ever love me for where he once loveth he ever loveth and did ever love 139. I am sure God loveth me because he hath given me a heart to hate all sin universally with a sincere and perfect hatred both in thought word and deed 140. I am sure God loveth me because he hath given me true conviction and sincere sound and unfaigned repentance from for all sin esteeming all exceeding sinfull both the great and the small 141. I am sure God loveth me because I delight in his wayes and for that all my longings and desires are to do all his will 142. I am sure God loveth me because I find his Yoak easie and his burthen light 143. I am sure God loveth me because I would not commit any sin nor could I sin willingly to get his love if I doubted of it 144. I know and am sure that God loveth me because that I do most heartily and sincerely desire to love him a thousand thousand times more then my own self 145. I know God loveth me because I love him most for himself 146. I know God loveth me because I desire nothing so much as to be his faithfull humble and obedient Servant 147. I know God loveth me because I love every man especially such as I beleive love him and because their conditions what ever they be make none with me 148. I know God loveth me because I love every mans soul prosperity and happiness as my own and their bodies more then my own 149. I know God loveth me because those that have been and are still my Enemies in the flesh I love both in the flesh and Spirit 150. I know God loveth me because I do sincerely pray for the souls and bodyes of those whom I have cause to beleive that they hate me 151. I know God loves me because I hate nothing but what he hates which is sin 152. I know God loves me because he hath thus changed my heart from hatred to love and hath made me to hate what I loved and to love what I hated 153. I know God loves me because I love all things for his Glory all things in subordination to him who is all things 154. Ah sweet Jesus give me so much love to love thee here on earth as thou lovest me when thou wert here for I cannot else love thee enough nor soon enough 155. Ah that I had ever loved thee and never loved sin 156. Ah Lord give me this great grace of love that I may forget all other love forsake all other love and hate all other love that shall in the least hinder my love to thee or lessen my loving of thee for my soul desireth only to love thee 157. Thou only art lovely Ah my sweet Jesus and my only beloved 158. O Lord my God let my love to thee increase as my life shall decrease 159. And as I draw nearer to thee let me O Lord find thee more lovely and more and more to love me 160. Let me so love thee O Lord my Lord as I may love thee only serve thee only fear thee only and be delighted ravished and comforted in and with thy love 161. With thee O Lord I leave my self as a token of my love Ah give me thine and let us never change 162. The love O Lord I have for thee I confess I had from thee it being now in me O let
not seen 258. He that submitteth to his wayes shall find his doings advantagious for the knoweth of what we are made and all things that come from him bring joy where he is the giver 259. His mercyes are as the Sun they dispel the Cloudes of afflictions and warm the heart with the fire of love 260. He can do what he listeth there is none can hold his strong arme but all must bend when he Commands 261. Trust then in the Lord who is thy strength and in the holy one of Israel who hath given himself to thee and for thee he will provide for thee he will satisfie all the desires of thy soul and cause thy heart mightily to rejoyce in his goodness and to triumph in all and over all things that come upon thee for the mouth of the Lord hath spoken it and he will do it according to the former promises of his holy Spirit made unto thee in the day of thy straights and watns 262. Praise thou the Lord for great is his goodness towards thee and his loving kindness hath no end 263. This is thy Portion from the Almighty Amen Amen 264. Praise his holy name live for ever in his love dwell in peace 265. O Lord I know that thou hearest not my Prayers for their worthiness but they are worthy because thou hearest them 266. I am not worthy for any worthiness that sin me but for thy worthiness O my Jesus and my good God that flows from thy exceeding bounty into me 267. I know that thou dost not love me O Lord for any lovelinesse that is in me or because I love thee but I love thee O my Lord who art my God because thou knowest me 268. And because that thou dost love me now I know that thou did'st love me ever and therefore wilt love me ever even unto the end and yet I know well that there is nor shall be no end of thy love it is endless for ever and for ever 269. Thy love O Lord I know is like thy self nay thy love is thy self for thou art not only a loving God but a God of love and therefore thy love is as thy self had never beginning nor shall never have end 270. Ah blessed love that is thus durable and unchangable and happy ye thrice happy he that is thus beloved being sure to be beloved ever thus 271. If a man or woman in the flesh hath unspeakable joy pleasure and delight to be devorst from one which they hare beyond and more then any thing and are instead thereof marryed unto one which they dearly love yea which they love more dearly then any thing in the flesh 272. Ah what joyes Ah what delights and ravishing pleasures shall they have and have all they that shall be and are devorst from their old Husbands sin whom they hate as the Devil and fear and fly from as from Hell and are marryed unto their new new beloved Husband Christ Jesus whom they love above and more then all things as their lives as their souls yea as their Heaven for he is the life of their life the soul of their soul and the Heaven of their Heaven being their soul and bodyes Eternal Everlasting rest peace portion happiness felicity and blessednesse in Heaven for 273. There are no joyes like to spiritual joys nor sorrow like to the spiritual mans sorrow when he mourns under that intolerable burthen of sin for a wounded Conscience who can bear 274. The unregenerate man cannot love sin and hate grace as the regenerate man loves grace and hates sin for he hath the love of God in him his Image of holiness righteousness is renewed in him day by day he loves all his gifts and graces with his own love perfectly and so he hates all and every sin in thought word and deed which is in sincerity 275. The fleshly Voluptuous man cannot love the pleasures of the flesh as the spiritual man prizeth and loves and delights and rejoyceth in the pleasures of the spirit 276. The Wicked cannot hate the Righteous and the just so much as the just and the Righteous love the wicked though they detest abhor and hate all their sins for they know that a Saul to day may be a Paul to morrow c. They cannot see the inside of any nor know their hearts therefore they judge none but themselves knowing with what measure they mete it shall be measured to them again they also call to mind and remember what they were themselves in time past how they lived after the flesh and minded the things of the flesh c and that where sin hath abounded grace shall much more abound that 't is by free grace that we are saved Eternal life is the gift of God through Jesus Christ our Lord and we are all unprofitable Servants when we have done all 277. Sin then is Opposite Capital and grand Enemy to holinesse as hatred is to love as darkness is to light as Hell is to Heaven as the Devil is to God 278. See then and consider how they are opposite and take notice of their contrary workings and in the end how and by what means it is that the good destroys the evil and is the Conquerour and the greatest 279. Sin is Eternal darkness and death Holiness is Eternal light and life sin shuts Heavens Gates and sets wide open Hells Holiness shuts the Gates of Hell and sets wide open those of Heaven sin wounds holiness heals sin casts down to Hell holyness raiseth up to Heaven sin kills holiness causeth to live the sinner hates God and all good and most of all God because he is good and because he is God yea because he is such a holy God as he is and he would that he were not that sin might be and might be free but the Saint or Regenerate loves all good and hates all evil and loves most of all God because he is God a holy and a just God all good yea because he is such a God as he is and as well for that he punisheth sin with Eternal death as because he rewardeth holiness with Eternal life after he hath given it with his free grace of his free will sin shall be ever in Hell as well as holiness for ever in Heaven the sinner in Hell shall be despighted because he lives to sin and cannot dye nor flye from sin and because that God lives and thus punisheth him with life and will not suffer death to have power over him he sees death to fly from him ye so far as it will never be nearer him then it is so that he shall ever live thus the Saints rejoyce to live because they live in God and for God a Saint loves God because he hath thus rewarded him by making him to live such a life as this that is to his praise and because God was ever thus and shall be thus ever he knoweth he shall be ever so also death is fled from him and
When God is in the heart it may be seen in the face and perceived by the words that come out of the mouth such a lustre is on the whole man both within and without when the presence of God by his Spirit is within he is surelie beautiful in the eyes of all beholders that delight and desire to behold the face of God in Jesus Christ the very Majestie of God in some sort is on such a soul and through the glorious light of Christs gracious face his face doth shine in the sight of God and all good men 49. I will make no condition with thee O God but only this that is to love thee only in all conditions as my God and my only good 50. Ah Lord I most unfeignedlie and humblie beseech thee let me never taste of this bitter bitter that is to find any sin sweet 51. But let all sin even all oh all Be unto me as wormwood and gall 52. Ah Lord I humbly beseech thee never suffer the remembrance of the former pleasures of sin to please me but let their remembrance be altogether displeasing hateful and detestabel and to be delivered from them let it be unto me as the deliverance from death and from Hell 53. Let the fire of thy grace quench totally the heat and fire of all and every lust sinful and disordinate affection that I may henceforth burn only in the fire of Love to thy Laws 54. The true life of God in a Christian is most of all and plainliest seen by his hatred to all evil and sin and by his unfeigned sincere ardent and continual Love to all that is good he loves all that is good in all to see it though a far off to hear it spoken of by any whatsoever but to find it in himself most of all joyes and satisfies him to see any evil committed or to hear any evil spoken by any troubles and afflicts him such is his Antipathy against it that he will not give it the least hearing or parley no nor cast the least glance of an eie to favour it it is abominable to him in thought word and deed and in all its circumstances even in all And as well hath the whole man all the faculties of the Soul hatred to the least circumstance of all ill as well as to the greatest but the degree and measure is according to the measure or degree or nature of the ill but it s alike hated sincerely as well the very least as the very greatest of all And in the same manner and measure is his unfeigned Love to all that is good he thanks and praiseth and priezth God for good thoughts as heartily and sincerly as for good words or actions because he as plainly seeth the true Love of God in the very least particualr as in the very gretest And 't is the Love of God which is his presence in Love that makes his Soul to leap within him with joy When that the Soul sees his God it sees all his good his Heaven his blisse his peace his Love his joy his rest his whole and only delight contentment and comfort But in the most good he seeth him most and therefore desireth to do the most good that ever was done or is possible to be done and therein he is best pleased because that pleaseth his God best and to please him is his only pleasure all his pleasure joy and delight only it is his Heaven and therefore he makes it his only happinesse 55. Ah God my God and my only good let it be I most humbly and unfaignedly beseech thee in Jesus Christ alwaies thus with me that my soul may be satisfied may be solaced may be refresht and comforted by thy living in me and by my living alwaies in thee and unto thee to thine eternal honour praise and glory for thine own glorious and holy names sake give me this grace that I may live this life here on Earth until I come to live that life that I shall after this is ended live with thee in Heaven So be it Lord. So be it Amen Amen 56. Ah how happy thrice happy are we Who both tast know feel find savour and see That thou livest in us and that we live in thee 57. Empty me O Lord of all even of all that I may be sit to receive and be filled with thy fulnesse even with thy blessed most blessed self the Ocean and Sea of all goodnesse 58. As long as we are full or in part filled with World flesh of self so much lesse room there is for God for when a Vessel is full it can receive nothing and according to the measure its empty it is capable to receive 59. How then Ah how then should we labour to empty our hearts of all that is not of God that we may be filled only with God with God only and alwaies be thus empty that we may be thus alwaies filled for its clear according to the measure we are empty we are capable to receive and we shall receive from God of his blessed fulnesse of unspeakable joyes and pleasures if we are willing and labour earnestly and sincerely to empty our selves of our selves and of all fleshly worldly pleasures and joyes which are but meer fancies vanities fooleries and toyes 60. Ah Lord God the Fountain and the Ocean that can never be emptied empty I most humbly and unfainedly beseech thee in the name and for the merits of thy Son and my Saviour Jesus Christ my heart of all things even of all what ever it be that is not according to thy heart that is not of thee that I may pant and gape hunger and thirst long and desire to be filled with thee alone alone with thee with thee who art only desirable and to be desired only grant that all the Worlds all may be more and more unto me nothing even nothing at all that thou maiest be all mine and I all thine that I may love all things out of thee lesse and lesse daily and thee O God more and more until I so love thee as it may not be possible for me to love thee more that my Love may cause me so to sink into thee as I may see my self in thee and thee in me yea that I may be so swallowed up into thee that I may not be mine but thine not mine own at all but thine own all even all thine Now henceforth and for ever more So be it Lord So be it Amen Amen 61. The greatest gift that God can give us is himself by Christ and then Faith to believe it a heart to love him and rejoyce in it and to praise him continually for it 62. And this will work in us unfained sincere ardent true Love which will cast out all fear of doubting and work in us a true fear not to offend or grieve him any more seeing he hath given us himself to make us his for ever and for ever 63. The greatest
prize and praise thee that I am content with thy will that is yet to live in this Bacca in this Wilderness and in this Valley of tears as long as thou wilt yea I am so content that I pray heartily with my whole heart Let thy will be done on me wholly as thou wilt and not as I I will or would I desire to be only only to be what thou wilt have me to be thine O Lord thine and not my will be done untill thy kingdom come Amen Amen So be it Lord so be it Amen Amen 80. To have all things and not to have God sure is to have nothing sure to possess all things and not to possess God is to possess nothing all things besides God is vanity foolishness nothingness will fly from us and leave us for ever even then and when we have most need of help succour and defence but God will leave us never If we be his he will surely stand by us defend us assist us and give us all that we shall stand in need of yea much above what we can ask or think 81. The very least mercy or blessing either on body or soul which I have received from God deserves much more praise by much than I am able to give unto God though I should continually praise him and live continually to his praise for what am I poor despicable I that I should receive any thing from the hand of God! But ah how much less then from the heart of God in love 82. I know O Lord God that thou hast regard to my feebleness to make me strong to my poverty despicable povertie to make me rich for ever to my nakedness to cover me with thy most glorious robes to my emptiness to fill me with thy blessed most blessed self to my uncleanness and filthiness to wash me white and to make me clean to my uncomliness to make me comelie to my ugliness to make me lovelie to my wretchedness and miserie to make me honourable and blessed and to my nothingness to give me all things for ever and for ever So be it Lord so be it 83. Who can ah who can measure the earth fathom the sea and count the stars in heaven and yet how much more unable and hard is it to measure to comprehend and understand the height the depth the length and the breadth of the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. 84. His goodness is as his greatness incomprehensiblie great and his greatness is as his goodness incomprehensiblie good 85. Thy presence O God thy presence makes all things that are bitter sweet and thy absence makes all sweet things bitter 86. O God ' thou givest such gifts to men that they can see even here in the flesh by the eye of faith that which thou hast prepared for them in heaven that Christ and all his graces and righteousness is theirs that heaven and eternal life and glory is theirs for ever and for ever that their sins are all pardoned and done away as if they had never been they see all that is to come as if it were alreadie come unto them they have alreadie as it were what they shall have hereafter even all those joyes riches and pleasures that are in God and therefore they rejoyce even here with unspeakable joy 87. Faith causeth us to read in that Book that is sealed up our names written there and our sins blotted out Faith carries us often up into heaven even whilst we are here on earth thus Faith can and thus Faith doth do all things 88. Heaven is heaven O God because thou raâ—â—nest there and hell is hell because thou raignest not there heaven is all good because that thou O God that art all good dwellest there and givest out continually of thy goodness to make them all good and like thy self that are there hell is all evil because that thou O God that art all good art not there for hell would not be hell if thou wert ther O God in love it is thy presence that maketh heaven heaven and it is thy absence that hell is hell Heaven is filled with thy smiles therefore it is heaven hell is filled with thy frowns and therefore ah therefore it is hell Heaven is filled with thy love and therefore it is lovely hell is filled with thy hatred and therefore it is hateful Heaven is free of and from all sin and therefore it is heaven hell is full of all sin and therefore ah therefore it is hell Heaven possesseth O God the light that glorious light of thy most glorious countenance and therefore it is such a most glorious light as cannot be comprehended with darkness but hell is altogether dispossess'd of thee O God who art this light of heaven and therefore it is all darkness even black thick darkness Heaven hath alwaies thee O God who art not only holy but holiness who art not only wise but wisdom it self who art not only powerful but power it self who hast not only all things but art all things and therefore heaven is such a heaven as it is but hell hath thee not wherefore it is all sinful wretched and miserable heaven is heaven in heaven yea such a blessed heaven as it is because thou hast O God blessed it and hell is cursed yea cursed as it is because thou hast cursed it from thine eternal ever blessed presence They are blessed and shall be ever blessed that are in heaven because they shall ever live with thee and possess thee O God the God and giver of all blessedness and they are cursed and shall be ever cursed that are in hest because they live not in thee possess thee not and are not possessed by thee 89. Ah Lord God that art this heavenly heaven this light this glory this most transcendent incomprehensible glorious light this blessedness this full whole entire compleat and perfect blessedness of all the blessed in glory this holiness this love this most lovely holiness Give me I most humbly beseech thee and unto all thine such a measure of thine infinite grace that we may even here sink into thee and be swallowed up by thee receiving continually grace for grace and be alwaies altogether fully filled with thy blessed fulness and be for ever separated and divorced from and out of all things that is not of thee that we may henceforth lead such holy lives in all our doings dealings conversations so that after this life ended we may with thee and in thee O God our only good live that everlasting life of peace rest joy solace and full contentment that shall never ah that shall never know end So be it O Lord God Almighty so be it Amen and Amen 90. Ah Lord give me this grace to hate sin all sin though there were no punishment due unto it and sincerelie to love vertue and grace though there were no reward for it hate the one because it is hateful in it self and
love us so much he doth love us and yet much more by much and so strongly and continually as we would that he did love us so doth he and so will he even unto the end for there is nor never shall be any end of his love he will love whom he doth love world without end for ever and for ever 182. So sure as we are Gods creatures so sure is he our God and so sure as he is the Father of all mercies so sure is he our Father and therefore sure it is that we are his dear children and therefore surely he will be ever unto us a most loving and merciful Father delighting to do us good and to make us his very delight in Jesus Christ out eldest Brother blessed Saviour and Redeemer 183. O Lord I have no good in me but what comes from thee I say none at all either great or small 184. From thee O Lord alone I have all that I have therefore me and all mine I confesse and acknowledge is all thine 185. How weary Ah how weary am I of my self and yet not so weary as I would be because I keep not thy Laws 186. How loathsome Ah how loathsome am I to my self and yet not so much by much as I would be because I love thee not O God my God as I would and as I should love thee 187. That God is what he is is the greatest and chiefest joy of all those that love him fear him know him and have given up themselves unto him 188. The presence of God which is Communion with him through his Holy Spirit is the feast of fat and pleasant things yea the Feast of Feasts unto that Soul and every Soul that hath truly tasted of him 189. In his presence is all joy unspeakable joy and from his right hand flow continual pleasures for evermore 190. The good and the only good that a soul in God desireth chooseth longeth for and panteth continually after being ever hungry and a thirst to enjoy is in some measure to be like him in all things alwaies to be conformable unto him to put him on and that he may never put him off 191. The goodnesse of God is suc ah souls only goodnesse the glory of God is such a souls only glory the honour of God is such a souls only honour the wisdom of God is such a souls only wisdom the riches of God is such a souls only riches and the love of God is such a souls only love God being only his his only good his only all in all alwaies All that is Gods is dear and near unto him yea is his dearest and his nearest of all things either in Heaven above or on Earth below his cause such a soul makes his and his truth and waies he is so wedded unto as he only joyeth in the remembrance of them and for that he is by his Holy Spirit thus strictly wedded unto them having chosen them for his Love his delight his refreshings and rejoycings having his heart in some measure according to Gods heart and his mind according to the mind of God 192. All that is in all creatures both in Heaven above and here on Earth below is from God all their strength is from his strength all their Power from his Power all their might from his might all their wisdom from his wisdom all their love from his love and all their lovelinesse from his lovelinesse all their goodnesse from his goodnesse and all their greatnesse from his greatnesse all their riches from his riches and all their peace from him who is the God of Peace All their rest from him who is their rest all their joy from him who is the God of Joy all happinesse felicity and blisse from him who is all happinesse in himself and is his own felicity and blisse Thus from Gods all all Creatures Saints and Angels have their all and therefore they return unto him alwaies as all due is all Honour Glory Power Might Majesty Dominion and Thanksgiving for ever and for ever 193. Ah God how great is thy greatnesse how good Ah how good is thy great goodnesse how deliciously sweet is thy sweetnesse how lovely Ah how transcendently lovely is thy lovelinesse how beautiful Ah how beautiful is thy beautifulnesse Who Ah who is a God like unto thee our God abundant in lovingkindnesse alwaies doing good 194. Ah most gratious and most glorious Lord God full of all grace and all glory thou art all fulnesse of all blessednesse all the blessed are all blessed in thee even from thy ever blessed blessednesse 195. The Lord would not give me the World at full till he had first fully given me Heaven to the end that I might not love what I should not but what I should that I might not love most the lesse but the most that is having the true knowledg of the worth of heaven I might chuse it prize it love it and make it my whole choyce delight and love for if the Lord had first given me my fill of the World I should doubtlesse have satisfied my self therewith and rested on it and sought only after it and not have minded Heaven nor the things in Heaven I should have made these low things here below the highest things in my esteem and choyce and sought no other Heaven than thus to have lived on earth possessing earthly things 196. But now blessed be God for his goodness though I have earthly things in abundance I esteem account and prize them but as the things of earth even as durt dung and drosse compared with the things of Heaven yea with those things of Heaven that God giveth here on earth to those that love him for he that hath seen that hath tasted and that knows the one and the other must needs acknowledge confesse and say Ah how low are all these things here below when compared with the things above they are all even nothing at all empty poor despicable poor low things 197. The Lord would not suffer me to possess the things of the flesh first ere he had feasted resatiated and satisfied me with the things of the Spirit with Heavenly and Spiritual things that I might be able to make a fit choice to chuse fitly and now he alone knoweth my desire my choyce my aime and my end Let him do all that seemeth him good his will and not mine be done 198. Ah Lord make me more and more by much to hate all evil because it is evil altogether hateful and therefore to be hated 199. But Ah Lord God let me much more by much love all good because it is good and only lovely and therefore only to be loved 200. Let me hate all evil because it is not of thee O Lord nor from thee nor according unto thee but contrary yea altogether contrary unto thee and therefore hateful only hateful and to be hated only 201. But let me Ah Lord let me love all good and in
thou did'st was not for thy advantage but for mine not for thy good but for mine not for thy honour but for mine not for thy glory but to bring me to glory and all this thou did'st looking for nothing againe thou lovest me only because thou would'st love me Ah height length depth and breadth of love that an offended God should sue and wooe and pray and pay and promise and give and dye and live to reconcile inrich honour magnifie and exalt offending man poore despicable man vile wretched worthless man nothing man that can be fitly compared to nothing but to nothing less then the drop of a bucket or the dust of the ballance O Lord let these thy wonders of mercyes and wonderfull compassions cause me ever to admire and adore thy love and kindness thy kinde love thy goodness and thy greatness and to cry out Lord what is man that thou art so mindfull of him and the Son of man that thou so regardest him as to visit him to magnifie him to dwell in him to delight in him to make him thy delight to set thy heart upon him to do him good even according to all the good that is in thy heart having prepared for him a Kingdome which cannot be shaken a Kingdome of Glory an Eternall and incomprehensible weight of glory where is joy all joy unspeakable joy and Rivers of pleasures for ever more where is no night but all is day yea the Lord himself is the light thereof where is no grief nor sorrow nor care nor feare but all teares shall be wiped away and there shall be no more sorrow nor sighing but all joyes and singing of praises and Hallelujahs with the Angels and Saints beholding the Lord of glory yea the glory of the Lord seeing him face to face as he is and knowing him as he is to be known there is no Canaanite in that Heavenly Country no Cain to kill no Sodomite to vex no Ishmaelite to scoff no Esau to terrifie no Shimei to curse no Herod to persecute no Rabsheketh to raile no Judas to betray this Heaven is above all Molestations and perturbations and not for tearm of years but for ever Ah most holy most great and most glorious Lord God bring me I most humbly beseech thee in thine own good due and appointed time that I may behold thy beauty and thy glory and the light of thy right blessed and most blessed and glorious countenance which may by the bright Aspect shining on me cause me likewise to shine more brighter then the Sun and my soul and body together to be made perfect pure and holy as thou O God art though not so holily pure and perfect and that both being enlightened with thy heavenly wisdome may be made to know the stability thereof and be assured of thine Eternal and everlasting love and living in me for ever and for ever Grant these things O my God and my Father in Jesus Christ and what ever else thou knowest to be needfull or expedient for me both for soul and body and all for the merits of thy Son and my Saviour thy Christ and my Jesus for whom my soul shall ever bless and praise thee as the Lord my Righteousness and to whom with thy glorious Majesty and holy spirit of grace the Comforter and the Sanctifier be given by me and by all thine as all due is and to none else honour glory power might Majesty dominion and thanksgiving now and for ever more Amen 1. Contentment though in Poverty is the best the surest and the greatest riches 2. Let me not set thee a time O my God but wait on thee for all things in thy time 3. And when thy time shall come to send me forth let me run and not grow weary and walk and never faint 4. Send me O Lord whither thou wilt and to do what thou wilt I am willing to goe and be and do what ever thou shalt command though to spend and to be spent for thee 5. And wheresoever O Lord thou shalt place me I shall not account it my abiding place no longer then it shall be thy pleasure that I there abide 6. Being with thee my God where ever it be I shall be I am sure where I would be 7. And being in thee my Saviour and thou in me my condition I am sure will well please and content me what ever it be 8. Ah Lord who would or who should desire to live here in the flesh being he cannot live and not sin it is not subject to thy Law neither indeed can be 9. And who would not or should not be willing to dye to kill sin that sin might dye and be destroyed for ever totally 10. Yet I am content to live though I do sin thy grace O my God being sufficient for me 11. I had rather be on earth for thy sake and to do thy will then to be in Heaven for my own sake only and only to have my own will 12. For is it not to be in Heaven even to do thy will on earth as it is done in Heaven it is a Heaven on this side Heaven an earthly Heaven or a Heaven on earth which good Lord give and grant me untill thou givest me what thou hast promised me which is thy blessed self in Heaven who art the Heaven of Heaven in Heaven 13. Where then soever when and how long soever I live or dye I shall through thy good grace live and dye contented and most joyfully 14. How willingly how willingly Lord would I leave this world and all the things in it if they were all mine to live with thee for I know thee O Lord I know thee and for which I most heartily thank thee that thou art much better then all things yea all things compared to thee are nothing and all things out of thee that is without thee can be fitly compared to nothing but to nothing 15. And yet Lord thou knowest how willing I am to live in this world to live for thee 16. Thou knowest O Lord how much more willing I am to dye then to live and yet Lord thou knowest how I strive to live that I may not dye 17. Give me grace O my God so to live as I may dye daily and to dye daily that I may ever live 18. Let me so live as I may live ever Let me so dye as that I die never Let me dye but once that I live for ever Let me die that once that I die never 19. Come then O Christ and set me free That I may goe and live with thee Then shalt thou be unto me gaine And free me from Eternall paine 20. When I do any thing that is good it is against the will of the flesh and when I do any thing that is evil it is against the will of the spirit 21. To will good is many times present with me but how to performe it I know not at any time how of my self but
may long to be dissolved and to be in Heaven to enjoy them there Ah to enjoy thee thee there 97. Seeing one drop or tast of them is so delitious Ah how delitiously and delightfully are they fed that feed on them continually and shall feed on them for ever and ever 98. Grant O my God that sins sweets be to me bitter and Heavens bitter be to me sweet and that I may alwayes prefer Heavens bitterest to sins sweetest and never to find any sweet in the sweets of sin 99. I had rather see Christ with spirituall eyes then in the flesh with the eyes of the flesh and to have him in my heart then in my arms 100. Christ only can make us spiritually hungry and he only can feed us with the bread of life from him we have our spirituall thirsting and he he only can give us to drink of those living waters the fountaine of life being in him only 101. Were there as many worlds to be offered me as there would be minutes from Eternity to Eternity I would not nay praised be God I could not give my hope and my interest in my Jesus to enjoy all their riches honours and pleasures unto all Eternity 102. For by how much he is above all things and more worth then all things by so much yet by so much more do I value my interest in him above all things for all things to God can be fitly compared to nothing but to nothing 103. For God is all things and I am sure of him and therefore I have all things sure 104. He that believes in Christ loves him and he that loves him fears him and he that fears him obeys him and he that loves fears obeys and believes in him must and will walk as he walked 105. We can both will and do our own wills which are evil but we can neither will nor do thy will O God which is all and only good 106. Give me then grace O God the God and giver of all grace to deny my own will to hate and forsake my own will that I wholly and perfectly do thy perfect and holy will 107. Let me then O God my God so will to do as I may only do thy will for my whole will is that thy holy will be doâ—e on me and in me that I may do thy will here on earth O thou my Father in Jesus Christ which art in Heaven 108. Give me then thy self my sweet Jesus that I may please thy self for without thee I shall be still my self and displeasing still to thee 109. For I am all evil and thou O God art all good I am all Hell and thou art all Heaven Ah thou my God that can'st do all things turn my evil unto good that my Hell may be brought into thy Heaven 110. Joy in fear and by reason of fear for every man hath a double fear till he have perfect love that casteth out all fear 111. Fear causeth me to doubt and fear causeth me to believe fear bringeth me grief and fear bringeth me joy fear casteth me down to Hell and fear raiseth me up to Heaven fear causeth me to distrust and fear causeth me to trust fear affrights me with sadness and fear comforts me with rejoycings for if I did not fear I might justly be afraid if I did not fear the want of grace I might justly fear I had no grace if I did not fear falling I fear I should fall indeed But though through fear I am many times afraid yet I would not be without fear though I should be alwayes afraid for fear causeth me to put away fear and not to fear fear nor to be afraid of fear through fear I trust I beleive I rejoyce and I hope I shall be for ever brought out and freed from all fear 112. Happy is the man that feareth alwayes Prov. 28. 14. 113. Ah Lord my God that art most faithfull and most true make me I most humbly beseech thee in Iesus Christ truly faithfull all my life that I may be faithfull even unto the death and then for ever to enjoy thy gratious promise of that Crown of life 114. Make me faithfully obedient unto thee in all things O Lord all my life that at death I may receive thy faithfull promise of that Crown of glory and life that I may ever live to glorifie thee O Lord of all glory by an Eternall and Everlasting life 115. Any thing of all that man can do as man God will not accept but all things that God doth man should accept and likewise know and beleive that he doth all things and therefore ought accept all things 116. Mans best all all mans best is worse then all but Gods least all the least of God is above all and more worth then all 117. When I have thee my God I have all yea all that I would have But Ah when I want thee when I have thee not when thou art absent and seemest to be departed or but estranged from me I want all am without all and possess nothing even nothing at all though I have even all other possessions 118. Let my all O Lord be all in thee That thou maist be all unto me 119. I am much more offended that I have offended my God then I am afraid that my God is offended with me 120. I much more fear my sins to come then my sins past because my fear for my sins past is already past but my fear is alwayes present for my sins to come yea it is my only fear and that which afrights me only 121. When I consider and ponder on the much joy that I enjoy to the little I deserve to enjoy and yet that this much is little to that which I hope and believe I shall enjoy Ah how my heart is filled and ravished with unspeakable joy 122. All glory be given to thee O God the God and giver of all gifts of all grace and of all glory Amen Amen In Bourdeaux Anno 1656. O Lord God I most humbly and most hartily beg and beseech thee be thou gratiously pleased in love and in mercy in and through Iesus Christ to be with me thy poor and unworthy Servant here in this place where thou hast by thy Providence brought me at all times as thou hast been with me in all other places at other times that thy power and thy might may be seen in me and thy holy and blessed spirit leading guiding governing and directing me in all things that I shall take in hand to do that I may by grace walk uprightly in the mid'st of this crooked froward and perverse generation and that they seeing my good works that is thou O God working in me they may glorifie thy great and holy name O thou my Father in Jesus Christ which art in Heaven Ah Lord suffer me not here following to write my own words but thine not seek my self with selfish love but thy self with true sincere unfaigned
by â—hy power I may have power to do and walk uprightly before thee in all thy paths and that I may never more swerve nor turn aside out of the way of thy Commandements either to the right hand of pleasures or to the left hand of profits Give me grace O Lord God I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ to see mine own badness and thy goodness ready and willing to make me good that I may see mine own emptinesâ— and thy fulness reâ—dy to fill me mine own nakedness and thy robes to cover and to cloath me mine own sinfulness and thy righteousness to make me righteous mine own cursedness and thy blessedness to make me blessed my own deformity and ugliness and thy beautifulness to make me beautiful my own slavery and thy freedome and â—râ—eness to make me free mine own unworthyness and thy worthyness to make me worthy mine own insufficiency and thine al-sufficiency mine own demerit and thy merit mine own disobedience and thine obedience mine own nothingness yea altogether nothing and thine Almigtiness yea altogether all things for in thee are all things from thee come all things and by thee O God all things are and were Created I do most unfeignedly confess O Lord that I am unable and unfit to speak unto thee and as unworthy to hear thee speak unto me for in me that is in my flesh there is no good I am all evil only evil and continually evil but in thee O God dwelleth all good for thou art all good only good and continually dost good without thee I can say nothing think nothing nor do nothing that is good suffer me not therefore O Lord I beseech thee to speak in my own wisdome for that would be but the wisdome of words but let me O Lord speak in thy wisdome which will be the words of wisdome and Wisdoms words Let me not O Lord go forth in my own strength against any Temptation for I am so weak I should be overcome and fall into any Temptation but let thy strength thy power thy might and thy love O Lord be seen in my weakness to strengthen me and by thy power powerfully working in me I may overcome and trample under my feet all the strength and power of all my adversaries and enemies Devils lusts worlds lusts and self lusts Ah Lord God suffer me not to goe from thee for thou hast the words of Eternal life thou art the word and the life yea Eternal life he that hath thee hath life and shall not see death nor tast of death because he is past from death to life but he that hath not thee O Lord Christ is dead already because he liveth in sin for he that liveth in sin is dead though he liveth Ah Lord I confess that the Well of thy mercy is much deeper then Jacobs Well and yet sure I am that such Children yea such Infants as I am can draw water from thence even the water of life even such water as giveth another life a better life which is an immortal and eternal life a life that shall never see death being hid with Christ in God Ah sweet Jesus let me have thee in my heart which is much better then to have thee as Simeon had in his armes my armes might let thee fall out of them but my heart cannot I had rather yea much rather see thee with the eyes of true saving faith then of sence or with the eyes of the flesh for thine Enemyes O Lord saw thee with fleshly eyes and yet hated thee spit on thee reviled and mocked thee whipped thee persecuted thee and crucified thee bearing false witness against thee and believed not in thee notwithstanding all the miracles that thou did'st but all those that see thee O Lord by the eyes of faith will believe in thee and say of thee unto thee as Thomas did my Lord and my God they will so love thee as they will Crucific themselves and their bosome sins hate themselves and their own wayes persecute themselves and Crucifie all their own sinful fleshly worldly devilish lusts and affections and live as new Creatures in the world as if they were not of the world using the world as if they used it not Ah happy yea thrice happy are they that are in such a case for they have the Lord for their God Ah poor lost I poor forgotten I poor forsaken I poor undone I poor miserable I poor nothing despicable poor I untill thou O my sweet Jesus did'st come to my help to my succour to find me to save me to comfort me to inrich me to deliver me to set me free and bring me out of the chains of sin Hell and death by which I was held and led Captive and did'st most gratiously bring me into thy self and gavest me thy self and loved'st me as thy self doing for me O God what thou could'st do making me like thy self Ah Lord God thou knowest all things I well know thou knowest my heart and what more can my heart say unto thee thou only O Lord art the searcher the tryer and the knower of all hearts thou knowest O Lord I know well that thou knowest how much my heart rejoyceth because thou knowest it O Lord I most humbly beg and beseech thee in Jesus Christ to search and try me even all the Corners and Crannys of my heart and what evil is still in me O Lord I humbly intreat thee to destroy with an utterr and totall destruction that it may be said of it it is not Let sin O Lord as the house of Saul grow every day weaker and weaker and grace as the house of David every day stronger and stronger O Lord perfect that good work of grace which thou hast in the abundance of thy love begun in me untill thou hast in love made it and brought me into perfect glory and all this I beg of thee O Father in Jesus Christ what else thon knowest to be needfull or expedient for me both for soul and body in life in death and after death for Christ I shall ever bless thee and to him with thy glorious Majesty and holy spirit of grace the comforter and sanctifier do I render from the bottome of my heart unfaignedly as all due is and unto none else honour glory power might Majesty dominion and thanksgiving now henceforth and for evermore Amen 1. If our comfort and joy be so great to enjoy the Company of one imperfect Saint on earth Ah how great shall our joy and comfort be to enjoy for ever that innumerable Company of perfected Saints in Heaven but how much more and more great shall our joy be and to our eternal comfort to enjoy God the Father Son and Holy Ghost that made them thus perfect and Saints 2. If we rejoyce so much here on earth to see one or some few friends in the flesh that we think loves God Ah how shall we rejoyce when in Heaven to see so many
desire ever to praise thee in grace and mercy made it such as it heartily desireth and longeth to be what it should be but O Lord I know that here is no perfection and that therefore it cannot be here Ah Lord I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ in thine own good due and appointed time bring me home to that long wished for and blessed home that I may be ever blessed in thee and with thee who art God blessed for ever and ever Ah Lord my Lord thou knowest how willing I am to leave all for thee loose all to enjoy thee trample all under my feet and hate all for thy sake yea spend and be spent for thee and to follow thee the Lamb of Righteousness in all places whether thou wilt goe even as a Chast Wife giveth her self unto her Husband and delighteth to love honour and obey him and longeth for his presence when he is absent that she may lye in his bosome and be imbraced in his armes esteeming all things toys and trash to his love even so Lord thou knowest that my heart desireth and longeth to be espoused unto thee in Heaven made one with thee knit and glued unto thee that I may be thine for ever and be imbraced in thine armes and lye in thy bosome living as thine and thine only unspotted and unblameable holy O Lord as thou art holy Heaven O Lord is Heaven because it is holy yea because thou art there that art holiness therefore yea therefore is Heaven Heaven and Heaven holy and such a holy Heaven as it is so those that are there a thousand years seems but as one day so sweet is its enjoyment and one day seemes as a thousand years so great is there comfort of enjoyment and therefore O Lord and to praise thee do I long to be dissolved from this body of sin which is death that I may live in thee and with thee in holiness which is Eternal life for this O Lord thou hast taught me to know and therefore my soul rejoyceth that holiness is the only felicity and chief happiness in Heaven for that makes us only like unto thee who art the Heaven of Heaven in Heaven Grant therefore O my God in Christ and for his sake that I may whil'st here below in the flesh on earth seek after labour for and endeavour to obtaine that measure and degree of holiness that my earthly Heaven may be a Heaven in part though not a perfect Heaven and that I may from day to day grow and increase from one degree of grace unto another until I com to enjoy that measure and fulness that thou hast O Lord my God in the infinitness and Eternity of thy love goodness and mercy through thy free grace in Jesus Christ reserved provided and appointed for me out of thine own abundant and overflowing fulness for with thee is fulness of joy and at thy right hand are pleasures for evermore Ah Lord for thy mercyes sake bring me unto that fulness that I may for ever rejoyce in that joy which bringeth such peace as passeth all understanding which eye hath not seen eare hath not heard neither hath it ever entred into the heart of man to conceive Ah Lord bring me into that Heaven and in the mean time let Heaven be in me for holiness is Heaven and Heaven is holiness therefore the more holiness is in us the more Heaven is in us yea the happiness in Heaven which is God himself Father Son and Holy Ghost threepersons but one God Grant O Lord I most humbly beseech thee that I may do the work of my generation and lawful calling prudently wisely justly and uprightly faithfully obediently circumspectly cheerfully willingly and perseveringly both before thee O God and before all men giving every man his due and doing unto all men as I would they should do unto me without respect of persons and let me alwaies value and esteem these things below as low things as temporal inferior good things as common mercies of the left-hand of the foot-stool the nether Springs even such O Lord as thou givest unto all even unto the evil and wicked as well as unto the good and righteous as thou makest the Sun to shine and the rain to fall alike on all it being no token either of thy hatred or of thy love Let me therefore O Lord have power through grace to use them as if I used them not and to live in this World as if I were not of this World making no provision for the flesh to satisfie the lusts thereof but that I may overcome the World by despising of it And give me not the things of the World O Lord I beseech thee till thou hast given me a heart to use them according to thine own heart even as liketh thee best and grant O Lord that I may be alwaies as willing to leave them as to receive them and to give them back unto thee when thou pleasest and in thine own way as thine O Lord and not as mine blessing thee for the leaving them with me any time but most especially for the well using of them during that time considering that their well using will turn to my Eternal profit and their abusing of them to my Eternal losse Ah Lord let the eies of my understanding be enlightened and alwaies open to see the many perils and dangers in possessing them as well as their nothingnesse whilst I shall possesse them and that worldly blisse consists more in possessing of little void of fears than of much subject unto danger and that it 's much the sweeter condition to want the Worlds sweetness than to have them if in their want we find no want and to esteem alwaies that best which God giveth because he having promised will make it work for the best come on me then what will come I doubt not Lord but I shall find it as I have hitherto found it to be for my good and coming from a God of Love to me in love and therefore O Lord I will love both thee and it and esteem every change the best change yea and a changing for the best and if at any time my condition should not please the flesh sure I am it will alwaies please the Spirit if it please not at any time the outward it will alwaies please the inward man if it please not the old man without it will please the new man within for Lord thou knowest if my condition should at any time displease me and I could change it yet I would not if by so doing I should displease thee for thou knowest I desire to please thee not my self the Spirit not the flesh the inward not the outward man the New not the old man for I would not have what I would but O Lord that only that thou wilt be it what ever it will deny me not O Lord I most humbly most earnestly and most unfainedly beg and beseech thee in Jesus
Christ for thine own dear and holy names sake deny me not this one thing what ever it cost me but let my life and my death my place of abode and condition be such as may O Lord bring thee most glory as may glorifie thee most O God of all Power and Glory And that Seeing I served thee not O God my Creator in the daies of my youth grant I beseech thee that I may serve thee freely cheerfully willingly and joyfully all the rest of my daies unto the very last hower of my life that I may henceforth live the life of the righteous and that my last end may be like his Ah Lord let all the rest of my life to come be so spent as it may witnesse a continual sorrow for my life past that having lived here in thy fear I may dye O Lord my God in thy favour that having lived here the life of Grace I may ever hereafter live with thee O my sweet Iesus the life of Glory in thy Kingdom of Glory with the Father and the Holy Spirit O Lord that triest the heart and searchest the reigns thou knowest all my thoughts as well as ponderest all my actions and therefore thou knowest how much my heart rejoyceth because that thou thus knowest it and because thou hast made it such as it is not that it is O Lord as it would or should be but because it willingly would be what it should be and that it would do and be as willingly any thing that it wills as it wills it So it be O Lord God according to thy most holy righteous good and blessed will And now O Lord God Almighty maker giver and preserver of all things I most humbly beseech thee to hear me in Jesus Christ for all Kingdoms Nations and People in general and in particular over the face of the whole earth gather O Lord in much mercy gather thine Elect together from all the ends and corners of the World Jew and Gentile Turk and Infidel bond and free male and female young and old rich and poor Ah Lord be thou pleased in the greatnesse of thy compassions to pour out thy Holy Spirit upon all flesh and write thy holy Laws of Grace in their hearts and thy Statutes of fear in their minds by the finger of thine Holy Spirit that every one may know who is the Lord and the power of his might that all flesh may be converted and brought home unto thee that their fouls may live and not die eternally Remember O Lord God thine ancient Covenant with Abraham thy Friend and pity our elder sister the Jews suffer them not Ah Lord suffer them not longer to wander as sheep without a Shepherd but bring them home Ah Lord bring them home to thy fold and to thy flock and be thou the Shepherd and life of their Souls Open O Lord the eies of their understanding that they may know thee the true God and Iesus Christ whom thou hast sent that they may behold him whom they have crucified by their sins and may mourn as one mourneth for his only son and be in bitternesse as for a first-born have they stumbled that they should fall God forbid but rather through their fall Salvation is come unto the Gentiles for to provoke them unto Jealousie Now if the fall of them be the riches of the World and the diminishing the riches of the Gentiles how much more O Lord their fulnesse and if the casting away of them be the reconciling of the World what shall the receiving of them be but life from the dead for if the first fruit be holy the lump is also holy and if the root be holy so are the branches because of unbelief they were broken off and if they abide nor still in unbelief hast thou not promised O God to graft them in again and seeing thou wert O Lord pleased to graft us into the good Olive-tree that were wild by nature Ah when Ah Lord when wilt thou grast in again these into their own Olive tree which be the natural branches for blindnesse is happened to Israel until the fulnesse of the Gentiles be come in and so all Israel shall be saved as concerning the Gospel they are Enemies for our sakes but as touching the Election they are beloved for the Fathers sake for the gifts and calling of God are without repentance bring in then O Lord bring in then the fulnessse of us the Gentiles that the number of shine Elect may be accomplished and that man of fin destroyed with an utter total and eternal destruction Break O Lord the power of the Turk and all thy Churches adversaries destroy the pride of Rome and root out Antichrist O Lord I beseech thee out of all our hearts and permit not that any of thy children be led away by Errors Heresies Sects or any false worship but let thy Word O Lord and Gospel be preached and taught throughout the whole Earth in purity and sincerity as thy Word and with the powerful assistance of thine own Holy Spirit Ah Lord cause it to work efficaciously on the hearts of all hearers that they may hear it with fear and trembling even as thine own Word and by it be convinct of sin of righteousnesse and of Judgment and to this end O Lord God be thou pleased to give a double portion of thy Holy Spirit unto all the Ministers ther of that they may preach it in the power of the Holy Ghost not fearing the face of men being confidently assured that their work and labour shall not be in vain in the Lord. Ah Lord in much mercy propagate thy Gospel where it is planted and be thou pleased to plant it where it is not and send forth faithful Labourers into thy Vineyard and harvest for thou knowest O Lord God that the Harvest is great but the Labourers are few Ah Lord suffer not I most humbly beseech thee in Iesus Christ that the wild Boar of the wood pluck up the roots nor the little Foxes to cut off the branches but blast O Lord all the designs and machinations that are any where hatching against thy Church and People and bring them to nought and cause their Enemies which are thy Enemies to fall into the Pits and snares which they have laid for them do good O Lord to thy Sion and build up the walls of thy Jerusalem do thine own work in thine own good due and appointed time and let thine own arm O Lord bring us Salvation In a more particular and most special manner O Lord I humbly beseech thee in Iesus Christ be mindful and have mercy upon the Land of my Nativity Pardon O Lord the Nation and particular sins thereof past present and to come of Magistrates Ministers and People our sins O Lord of blood our sins of unthankfulnesse ingratitude and rebellion against thee our God our sins of covetousnesse which is Idolatry our sins of pride and hypocrisie of self-self-love and hatred of
is love but as it is profitable a love bringing profit it frees from paine and gives ease it keeps from poverty and maketh rich because it delivers from dishonour disgrace and graceth them and brings them much honour because it lifts them up above others and for that others are set below them they are the head and others are but the feet and because they have power over them and they obey their power going where ever they bid them coming when ever they call them and do what ever and all that they command them if God continue to give them thus his gifts and all that their hearts desire they will prize his love and desire his love and choose his love and delight in his love and love his love yea and serve him for his love but it is with an eye-service having an eye to this recompence of reward in the flesh and for the sake of the flesh they love not God as he is God and because he is God all good and only good but because he is a God that doth them this good which he so much loveth liketh Priseth chooseth and prayeth for were he not thus good unto him he would not think him good nor believe him to be good thus are they fleshly Carnal loving the things of the flesh the things they see and enjoy and not the things which they see not nor cannot see which they enjoy not nor cannot be here enjoyed but should hope for 't is not a Heaven in Heaven nor a Heaven coming down from Heaven but a Heaven on earth an earthly Heaven yea a Heaven of earth that they desire choose and pray for and would that it were ever yea ever and for ever their Heaven thus 't is not God that they love because he is God but 't is themselves themselves they love as God chiefly most of all beyond all things and above all things and therefore they love not God at all because they love him not as God who is the supream chief Soveraign superiour and only good happiness felicity peace rest riches honour pleasure joy and blessedness 53. This is false love though it be for our selves when we love our selves only that is chiefly for our selves for our own sakes such desire Heavens joyes to enjoy them because they are the greatest joyes 't is not Heaven for God but God â—or Heaven that they would and that they mind they love the wages but not the work the Crown but not the Cross to raigne with Christ and as Christ doth but not to suffer with Christ and as Christ did to weare his Crown of Glory but not his Crown of Thorns to live as he doth but not as he did to be his Servant in Heaven but not his Disciple on earth to have the Recompence of reward there as a good and faithful Servant but not to serve him here as a Son or a Servant they would willingly have their own will done both on earth and in Heaven but not his on earth no not for Heaven they would believe in him but not suffer for him they would live with him there but not die with him here they flye many times from sin because of the paine woe grief and torment it will bring they flye from the punishment not from the sin they hate not sin as it is sin and because it is sin for many times they love the sin which they commit not which they dare not commit and so they many times do good but not because it is good and for that it is the Command of God their delight is not to him nor his wayes nor to the keeping of his Commandements but their delight is to delight themselves the end of all their aime and the aime of all their end is to please themselves and therefore if at any time they do good it is to do good to themselves 't is not for Gods sake nor for goodness sake but for their own sakes for many times they do what they would not do and seem to love what they do not love and to hate what they do not hate they prefer the flesh to please the flesh and to enjoy fleshly pleasures before the pleasing of God and the enjoying of God and spiritual pleasures they prefer Communion with the Creature before Communion with the Creator and their own low base ends before his high holy great and glorious ends how dully droopingly faintly feebly coldly and sluggishly do they goe about Gods work and service any thing that concerns his honour and glory what icy frozen benum'd dead hearts have they thereunto though in the doing of all this it is to do for themselves to work for themselves and to serve themselves but how Ah how jollily cheerfully lively nimbly quickly ardently and hotly do they goe about the things that no whit at all concerns God but themselves how stoutly strongly and vigorously do they wrestle for the world and the things of the world and to have a blessing of increase on their works and labour for the flesh but how Ah how faintly cowardly and feebly do they wrestle with God in dutyes in prayer meditation hearing and reading the word of God as if they would not that blessing or at least cared not for it thus Gods work and soul work is to them of little concernment and when they do mind the soul and Heaven it is because of its happyness they then seek God for Heavens sake but never Heaven for Gods sake and even then when the Lord sends a faire wind with the breath and spirit of his grace into their hearts to hasten them forward to their place of rest and to make them to saile over the floods and tempests of tentations and waves of opposition yet then Ah then so selfish fond stupid and ignorant are they as they hoyse up all the sayls they can to goe against this sweet new fresh gale they row and tug and toyle to goe back from their Port from their Haven and Harbour which is so near them desiring not to come so soon to their journeys end they desire not so soon to end their journeying travel and paines in the flesh they prefer this travel and toyle and care before that peace and rest and ease and joy and though this all all this be but vanity and brings nothing but vexation of spirit yet so contrary are they to God and his wayes that they will none of them as long as they can these they gladly and willingly will put off that day for this nay though God do at times shew some of them Heaven as he did Paul and they behold things unutterable and with Peter see the glory of the Lord which is unconceiveable yet these foresights and fore-tasts being taken from them or they from it Ah how soon do they forget that ever they saw any such thing how soon how gladly willingly and chearfully do they return to Egypt the place of their Captivity and
joyfully and heartily feed on the Garlick and Onyons yea on the husks that Swines feed on so much love they have to themselves as they forget God and that they were Created for him and unto good works to please and serve him such then as thus love or love thus are self-lovers only or chiefly and therefore not right or true lovers because they love not God rightly therefore not truly for he is to be beloved first of all most of all beyond and above all he being our only chief supream Soveraign superiour and best good all good being in him and flowes only from him he contayning all and being contained by none 54. But as for me O Lord as for me I know O Lord I know that there is none in Heaven but thee nor in all the earth in comparison of thee a Doore keeper O Lord a Doore keeper in thy house do I much prefer choose and imbrace rather then to dwell in Tents or Tabernacles with the wicked with those that know thee not and that fear thee not I much rather Ah Lord thou knowest that I had much rather be afflicted and I choose and prefer banishment poverty contempt disgrace imprisonment and death for thy sake and the Gospels as thy Servant rather yea much rather then to enjoy all these pleasures in the flesh these fleshly pleasures with the wicked any life O Lord and any death yea that life and that death in that place and condition as may bring thee most glory do I most humbly and unfainedly beg in Jesus Christ and for his sake Ah Lord God I hast me unto thee I desire to flye into thee and to be found ever in thee yea though thou shouldest make all my life as Pauls and Peters were when they saw and enjoyed in part those blessed joys prepared and laid up for the blessed yea though I could alwaies see Heaven open as Stephen and thou O Lord my Jesus and my Christ standing at the right hand of God should not would not my heart heartily say with Simeon Lord now let thy servant depart in peace for mine eies have seen thy great Salvation would it not cry out none but Christ none but Christ and come Lord Jesus Ah come quickly and take me to thee to be ever with thee for though to me to live were Christ yet to dye would be great gain 55. Such and all such love falsely as love their Neighbours for themselves only for the good they do them and for the benefit and advantage alone which they receive from them were it not for this good they would not care for them nor think of them nor pray for them nor wish or desire any blessing on them if they do at any time do them any good it is for the good that thereby they hope will accrue to themselves either of praise or profit otherwaies they would rather yea much rather their losse than their gain their dishonour than their honour and they would deligth more much more to hear an evil than a good report of them and were it not that they want them or may want them that they stand them in stead they would rather yea much rather dis-serve them then serve them hurt them than do them good and though with their mouths they blesse them yet in their hearts they curse them envying the very happinesse that they pray for on their behalf they love them for their gifts not their gifts for them yea they love their gifts but not the givers of the gifts they love their gifts not because it comes from their love but because they are lovely that is because they stand them in stead they have need of them they should be in want if they did want them if they had them not they do not praise God on their behalf and pray for a double blessing on them for this their blessing of them if they wish or desire an increase of their substance and a blessing on their labours it is because they hope they will increase in doing them good in giving to them of their substance a blessing of their labours a part and portion of their profits and if they do not do so such will curse and not blesse and would if they could take from them all that they have or seem to have for their love is self-love love only to themselves for themselves therefore false love loving falsly 56. I had much rather have no portion in the World than have the World for my portion 57. For I am sure the World never did nor never will make any rich and as sure that it hath and will make many Ah too too many poor 58. For many that have had and yet shall have great Portions of this Worlds good have nor shall have none of the good of Heaven for their Portion it 's hard for a rich man here to be rich there 59. And many that have no Portion in this World of this World have God and shall have God for their sure and everlasting Portion in the World to come 60. Ah happy yea thrice happy man that hath such a Portion there though he have none here what ever be his condition he is in a blessed condition for he shall be ever blessed blessed for ever and ever 61. But Ah miserable man who art only miserable that hath no Portion there what ever Portion he hath here yea though he abound in Corn and Wine and Oyl and all this Worlds good and glory 62. Give me Ah Lord give me any Portion in Heaven though but to be a door-keeper if I may but see thy face and hear thy voyce I care not though it be with the losse of all Portions here both of riches honours and pleasures 63. If thou givest me here O Lord but food and rayment how mean soever it be I will be content therewith and heartily thank thee and if thou givest me none I will thank thee for the time past and believe I shall want none for the time to come and that shall content me 64. Ah if the want of the World be so sweet when in its want we find no want how sweet then yea how much sweeter is Heavens fulnesse where is all fulnesse of all things and therefore no want at all of any thing 65. Ah how much better is it and how much greater gain to lose this Worlds all and gain Heaven then to gain this Worlds all and lose our part of Heaven which is Heavens all yea all Heaven 66. The Worlds losse with Heavens gain I shall not account any losse but all gain yea the greatest gain I can get But Heavens losse with all this Worlds gain I shall not account any gain but a great losse yea the greatest that I could or can sustain 67. He that loseth Heaven loseth all but he that gets only this Worlds all gets nothing even nothing at all 68. I will and alwaies will account all losses gain to win Christ
would have an Eternal weight of glory there must be content and rejoyce under Eternal ignominy here 130. He that would have all things with others there must be willing to do all things for others here 131. He that would have Christ for his Jesus there to save him must believe in him as his Jesus Christ here that is as the way the truth and the life unto Eternal life 132. He that would have him there his advocate to plead his sinful bad case must here plead for and in behalf of his blessed good case 133. He that would have him as a judg to acquit him there must judge and condemne himself here 134. And he that would not be condemn'd with the world there must not with the world and as the world doth live here 135. And he that would not be cast out with Reprobates there must have no Communication or Conversation with them here 136. And he that would not be of the number of the Devils Goats there must come unto Christs flock and be of his fold and of his sheep here 137. And he that would live with the Righteous there must labour after holiness and Righteousness here 138. And he that would be sure to die their death to put it out of all doubt must live their life 139. And he that would enter into his Masters and Lords joy there must be the joy of his Lord and Master here that is his well doing good and faithfull Servant 140. Seeing then that these things O Lord shall surely be make me through grace such a person as I ought to be 141. Now seeing that holiness is Heaven and Heaven is holiness Ah Lord make me all holy that I may be all Heavenly let holiness alwayes dwell within me that Heaven may be alwayes within me and that I may be alwayes in Heaven 142. And seeing O Lord that our desire chiefly to be in Heaven is to be free from all sin and to be holy as thou art holy Ah let me labour for and long after holiness on earth yea and to be so holy that though I am on earth I may be also in Heaven and Heaven in me 143. And seeing that the more holy we are the more heavenly we are and the more like unto thee O most heavenly and most holy Lord God that is throughout holy in Spirit Soul and Body grant that though I am here below on earth and earth I may in holinesse be like unto thee above who art in Heaven and art Heaven 144. Ah Lord God that hast fitted and prepared Heaven for me prepare me for it that I may enjoy thee all who art my all and my only Joy 145. And seeing none shall enjoy thee in Heaven but those that enjoy thee on Earth Ah Lord let me so enjoy thee here that I may long to be dissolved for ever to enjoy thee there yet not for mine own sake only but for thine own sake good Lord. 146. Ah Lord let my joy be so full of thee here on Earth as I may alwaies long to be filled with thy fulnesse of joy in Heaven and to enjoy fully those pleasures that are there at thy right hand and shall endure for ever more 147. Yet O Lord I humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ to make me still patient to wait untill my blessed change shall come and that I may alwaies say thine O Lord thine and not my will be done 148. Ah come Lord Jesus come when thou wilt and as thou wilt either at midnight or at the Cock crowing for though I do long for thy coming to take me hence unto thy self yet I would rather O Lord thou knowest that I had rather abide here to do thy will and for thy sake on earth then to leave thy will undone and to be in Heaven for my one sake 149. Ah Lord my Lord and my God I confesse that thou hast in the abundance of thy goodnesse love and mercy done so much for me in bringing me out of Hell and assuring me of Heaven that even all that I can imagine to do to lose or to suffer is so little so too too little as I could wish yea and do wish that I could do more and suffer more to witnesse that my little will is great or desires and would be great willingly 150. Ah Lord I know and am well assured that thy goodnesse is so great and thy greatnesse so good for the sake of my soul that my soul longeth to be great in goodnesse to do great good things for thy great goodnesse sake 151. Ah Lord God seeing what thou hast done for me is to assure me of thine Eternal Love and Mercy in Jesus Christ give me I beseech thee grace that I may not turn thy gifts of grace into wantonnesse but for this thy Love wherewith thou hast loved me grant that it may be a strong and firm obligation unto me to depend upon thy Love and to be assured that thou wilt continue to do as thou hast begun that is continually continue to love me 152. For seeing none but thy self O Lord could do the things that thou hast done that is to love me such a lovelesse yea vile wretch as I am in my self I will therefore be bold to say surely the Lord will ever love me because he doth thus love me and hath ever loved me thus 153. Ah suffer me not then O Lord God holy just and true to depart from thee by setting up any other God in my heart or my heart to love choose or esteem any other good than thy self who art only good all good and able only to do me all good and to make me to do all good 154. Ah Lord God in thine own good time accomplish and finish the good which thou hast begun to work in me by causing me to depart from all evil 155. And suffer me not I humbly beseech thee for thine own great holy and dear name sake to go astray from those holy holy holy waies which thou hast set before me and written with the finger of thine own Spirit on my heart 156. But grant O Lord that my Soul may continually be ravisht with the pleasantnesse of them and to delight to sit alwaies under the shadow of thy branches for thou knowest O Lord thou right wel knowest how sweet and delightful the fruit of thy Word and the knowledge of thy waies is to the tast of my Soul 157. And therefore and to praise thee doth my Soul long to come into thy house to behold thy beauty and thy glory as in thy Sanctuary and to hide my self under the shadow of thy wings that no evil may come nigh me to hurt me 158. Ah Lord thou that hast wrought in me holy desires to do thy whole and holy will give me grace to teach and instruct others and to tell them how willing thou art to teach all sinners to come out of their sins and to direct them how to walk wel pleasing
unto thee and to lead them by the hand that they slip not 159. Ah Lord suffer me not to do as do the men of the World to labour to heap up and gather these things that profit not and to leave behind me much of these low earthly outward things that endure but for a season but let me rather cast off these garments bespotted in the flesh and follow thee naked and gather up and distribute those true and heavenly riches which shall make the Soul glad and rich and honourable for ever that my heirs may be heirs of Heaven and not of earth 160. Ah Lord Let all the Worlds all be all unto me as I was unto thee when in it and of it even as a menstruous cloth and my all not worth any thing at all 161. Ah Lord suffer me not to mind earth any more with an earthly but with a heavenly mind and that my heart my be alwaies there where my true only and everlasting treasure is and that I may live in the World as if I were not of the World and use these things below as low things even as if I used them not 162. Ah Lord suffer me not to mind these things my self which I teach and labour to have others forget and not to mind and so save them but perish my self 163. Ah Lord full of grace give me grace to shew forth unto all that all my covetings ambition and longings are for the things above and not for these things here below and that these things here are fit and only fit for such as have their heatts and affections here 164. Ah Lord sure yea most sure it is that those that are risen with thee will seek the things that are above even where thou fittest at the right hand of God and that those that do it not are not yet risen but lye dead in the grave of their sins 165. Ah Lord suffer not the World to deceive any that their Souls may not be deceived and they perish for ever in their sins 166. But bring them all home Ah Lord bring them all home unto thy self and betroth them all to thy self here by grace that thou dost intend to marry unto thy self hereafter in glory 167. Ah Lord I confesse it is not my study nor my care nor yet my careful study nor my studious care that teacheth me wisdom so as to know thee or to learn what thou knowest but it is thy self O Lord it is thy self that givest me that wisdom to know thy self and learning to know what thou knowest for who but thy self hath that wisdom to know thy self or learning in himself from himself to learn what thou O Lord God knowest 168. Ah teach me then so O my good God that art Israels teacher that I may tell henceforth Devil World and flesh that I will no more be taught by them nor follow their teachings 169. I Know O Lord I know that the teachings of men no nor all mens teachings are not able to teach me to know any good but I know that thy teachings O God are able to teach me all good and how to do all good 170. I will rejoyce therefore in what my God can do because he can and therefore I know assuredly that he will do all the things for me that shall be for my good 171. And therefore I will not fear what men can do against me no nor Devils neither for they all can do nothing at all that can hurt me 172. But all my fear shall alwaies be to fear thee O Lord who art my Lord and my fear for to fear thee truly bringeth me true joy yea unspeakable joy 173. For to fear thee as we ought fear thee is to keep thy Commandments to keep thy Commandments with fear is the whole duty of man 174. Ah Lord God I know that thou dost not hear us for our words sake because they are but the words of men nor for our work sake because they are but mens works nor for our own sake because we have forsaken thee but for thy great names sake which is thy self and therefore for thine own sake O Lord I know that thou dost only hear us 175. Ah Lord my Lord my God and my all and my only good Let me alwaies so speak unto thee by thee as thou maiest alwaies hear me and so hear thee as I may alwaies love and fear thee yea make thee all my fear and my love 176. The Spirit of the Lord or the fruits of the Lords Spirit is love joy peace longsuffering gentleness goodness faith meekness temperance lowlinesse of mind humble patient bountiful and rich in good works forgiving and forgetting all injuries and wrongs beareth reproaches and scandals rejoycingly doth hurt nor violence to no man eschueth all evil and followeth hard after all good with full purpose of heart and endeavours of life serving the Lord constantly frequentâ—y circumspectly obediently willingly chearfully rejoycingly and perseveringly hath peace with all men loveth all men with brotherly kindnesse and doth all good possible to all men especially unto those that are of the household of Faith 177. He that hath the Spirit of the Lord he is faithful and valiant for the Lord fighting his battels couragiously cheerfully gladly rejoycingly and perseveringly unto his lives end he doth not his work negligently nor slothfully but diligently and willingly for his work is his delight his meat and drink yea his Heaven on Earth is to do his Lords will on Earth as it is done in Heaven he desireth no other wages for his work than his work he would continually do his work for his works sake for his yoak is easie to him and his burthen light 178. He that hath the Spirit of the Lord abiding in him he is no tale bearer tatler or busie body he medleth not in other mens matters condemneth no man hateth no man wrongeth no man doth violence to no man speaketh evil of no man thinketh evil of no man but alwaies worst of himself 179. He that dwelleth with Gods Spirit dwelleth quietly and peaceably because all things are to him all alike for he knoweth that all things come from God his God that his Providence ordereth all things and therefore he knoweth that all things shall alwaies work altogether for his good yea his very sins which God hateth and only hateth and which he himself hateth above all things and more than all things yet these are not for his worse but for his better and for the increase of his joy comfort and rejoycing in the Lord who bringeth him out of darknesse into light and turnerh his evil into good for God is now become his God and his Father and loveth him as his Son and therefore will not see his iniquities nor transgressions but passeth by all his sins looking on him not as a pardoned sinner but as a son that never sinned God seeth his best but will not see his worst his good but not his hatred
all things is to have Jesus Christ for our Jesus and for our Christ get him Oh get him and I am sure thou wilt hereunto set thy seal 318. Wilt thou live happy live to him and for him only 319. Wilt thou dye willingly dye first to sin 320. Wilt thou live eternally live so then here as as Christ thy head and thy husband lived when he was in the flesh doing alwaies the will of God his heavenly Father 321. Wilt thou alwaies be comforted and rejoyce make thy peace with thy God and labour to maintain it 322. For fear or favour to gain or lose what thou hast or maiest hope to have have a special care and resolve that thou consent not unto connive at or love the least or sweetest sin 323. And if unhappily at any time thou dost fall lie not Ah beware thou lie not willingly in it but rise quickly and come out of it by true sincere unfained repentance and wash and bathe thy self in tears of sorrow grief and lamentation but still hope and trust in the Lord for he will fail thee never In Bourdeaux Ann. 1657. 1. ALL they that live holily live in God and God that is all holinesse lives in them they dwell in him and he in them as sin is Hell is Devil is both torment and tormentor so holinesse is Heaven is God is both Comfort and Comforter 2. All that is good is from God who is all good only good ever was and ever shall be all goodnesse is from his goodnesse yea from his overflowing fulnesse of goodnesse they are thus filled with all good 3. And as light brings out of darknesse dispels it vanquisheth and overcomes it so Gods Love which is holinesse delivers us from all sin dispels conquers and overcomes it brings us Ah brings us for ever out of this Hell sin into this Heaven holinesse or Heavenly holinesse 4. Love from God is made perfect that is sincere and this Love casteth out and overcomes all fear causeth true filial fear which flows from true sincere Love yea from this Love which is from Gods fear or the fear of God which is his Love 5. Ah Lord I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ and for his sake never to take thy holy spirit from me who is my light my life my joy my rejoycing my strength my hope my faith my confidence and my assured assurance 6. Thou teachest me O Lord all that I know and thou knowest well that I desire to know nothing but that and what thou wilt and dost intend to teach me 7. For to know any other things yea to know all other things is even to know nothing to this one thing of knowing thee and Jesus Christ whom thou hast sent to know him not only to be a Jesus and a Christ but our Christ and our Jesus in the Mistery not in the History in the Spirit not in the letter nor from notions but from motions living walking raygning ruling overcoming bringing under making subject willingly cheerfully constantly continually throughly seriously faithfully ardently gladly and preservingly at all times and in all places and things 8. Ah how great a folly yea what greater folly is there then the wisdome of men and to learn only that which man can teach 9. What Ah what are all his words but meet words froth scum a scummy froth that is as soon dead as born short lived quickly made and quickly unmade and its making is its destruction it grow and withers together in growing it is even as its maker and it shews its maker man to be like it that is a windy puff as the puff of the wind man nothing man but vanity which is in it self worse then if it were not then if it were nothing 10. Mins greatness power strength honour beauty wisdome prudence policy what is it but as himself a vanishing vapour having nothing certaine but that all he hath is uncertaine what ever he hath to day of riches honours or pleasures to morrow all may say him nay and take themselves wings and flye away and he himself as the rich glutton goe where he shall ever stay and ever weep and waile this his very day the day that ever these or this was his 11. Ah how much nothing then is all things out of him that is all things even our God the God and giver of all things 12. Yet Lord I am content and willing to not to be any thing yea to be any thing for thy sake 13. O my soul I charge thee henceforth never to be afraid to loose what thou hast committed and given unto the Lord to keep for thee fear not then neither to loose any thing that he hath given thee and keeps for thee which is thy faith thy fear thy love thy joy thy hope thy peace thy comfort and thine assurance 14. Fear not to loose thy confidence obedience nor perseverance for he that hath given thee this thine all will so preserve and keep thee that thou shalt never fall 15. Speaking without feeling is even as dry bones that have no tast relish nor moisture that cannot nourish nor do not any whit satisfie or please the spiritual appetite 16. Me thinks to speak not what a man feels or not to feel what he speaks is as if he did not speak at all nay me thinks he should not speak it for it is words only only meer words true we shall be judged and condemned too for words but sure I am it must be works not words shall justifie us by faith we are saved now faith without works is dead 't is not the knowing Servants but the doing ones that shall receive the recompence of reward and enter into the joy of their Lord and ever possess the Lord of their joy knowers and not doers shall be beaten with many stripes blessed are they that have seen and have believed but more blessed are they that have not seen and yet have believed 17. The just shall live by faith not the faith of words to say only I believe in the Son of God in Jesus Christ whom he hath sent but of works to shew that he did believe be doing the works were Commanded him to do which is to fear God and keep his Commandements 18. But to feel what a man speaks and to speak that only which he feels is not words only but works also yea the work of Gods spirit for its the spirits work thus to work to work his will and his work on our hearts and to cause us to feel that is to know that he works for us and in us and will never leave thus working till he hath wrought out our Salvation that is till he hath sanctified us throughout in spirit soul and body and prepared and fitted us for Heaven as Heaven is fitted and prepared for us 19. Ah how great a folly is it to prise any other wisdome or to account any other things wisdome then this one thing feelingly to
on them as if they were not nor had never been 133. Ah how is the heart at rest and quiet how calme how peaceable how joyful I know not how it is to set it forth as then it is when it is with God in God me thinks I know not where it is nor what it doth enjoy such is its blessed and blest condition as I know not nor am not able to set down what condition it is nor how blessed it is so blessed I know not what to call it nor how to set it forth in that loveliness in that blessedness that then it is blessed with if it then see any Object out of God besides God it sees it not if it here any voyce or words it here 's it not if it speaks yet as it were it speaks not if it walk it seems to its self as if it walk not as if it moved not if it stands still it seems not to know it for even all its sences and facultyes are so much taken up and imployed as it well knows not or as it were cannot express about what it is imployed at least how it is imployed nor what it doth enjoy such and so great are its joys 134. And when Ah when it must leave this sweet study this Heavenly work this blessed imployment this profitable traffick this honourable business this glorious company these great joyes these pleasant pleasures and soul-satisfying satisfactions and converse again with the men of the world how Ah how irksome displeasant uncooth troublesome yea noysome and burdensome is every other thing every other word every other business every other matter or concernment of what concernment soever it be never Ah never any loss seemed to him so great never any man to his esteem and seeming fell from such a high condition to such a low condition how willingly Ah how willingly would he have his body in any Condition so that his mind were alwayes imployed in minding this blessed and Heavenly most Heavenly and most blessed Condition Ah what words what thoughts what desires what Ah what gaspings gapings longings hungrings and thirstings at sometimes and then presently Ah presently how is he filled and satisfied and yet knows not as it were with what nor how and this he calls a new birth and a new birth indeed it is for he is then all new and made another man within and without for he is in some measure as it were like God holy as he is holy and pure as he is pure for in sincerity he desires and aimes at holinesse and purity even at pure holinesse and to be without spot and wrinckle unblameable his life is as it were even hid with Christ in God Christ is his life all his life is to live in him with him for him and unto him it s the end of his aime and the aime of all his end to be his only his none but his alwayes his that he may be ever his even and for ever to live that life and dye that death as may bring him most glory as may glorifie him most In Bourdeux Anno 1658. 1. VVE may enjoy the world and all the things of the world but we must not Ah we must not joy in them so as to make them our joy use them we may but abuse them in the use of them not we may not we may possess them but must not Ah we must not suffer them to possess us esteem them good we may but our least good we must not Ah not our best good not our chief supream soveraign and only good for that is God only only God who is all good and all good only in Heaven nor earâ—h there is none besides him 2. Seeking as well as finding knocking as well as opening asking as well as giving is Gods free gift for he freely giveth all things unto all that ask aright by faith in Jesus Christ and no good thing will he with-hold from those that love him that love his fear and fear his love 3. What is Hell but thy absence O Lord the absence of thy love and our living in and continuing in sin 4. And what O Lord and what is Heaven but thy love and thy presence O God the continual and everlasting enjoying of thy ever blessed and loving presence and our liberty and freedom from sin to sin no more but to praise thee ever and for ever and thee only O God and thee only adore 5. Grant me O Lord God this one thing this one thing only to enjoy thee and that I may alwaies make thee my only joy and to sin no more willingly with my will either in thought word or deed but to live the life of the righteous to and for thine honour praise and glory 6. Whose sins the Lord forgives he forgets whom he hath pardoned he will save where he loves he lives and will ever live there in love those that are beloved shall be ever his beloved for he hath loved them ever and will love them ever 7. The fire of Gods Love are the fiery flames in which all his children desire to live for out of them they cannot live life is to them death yea much worse than any death and any death they would willingly Ah most willingly choose to live this life 8. Our sitting here for Heaven by sanctification which is holinesse is an evident sure and certain token and sign that Heaven is fitted and prepared for us for as without holinesse no man shall see God so being made holy he shall be sure to see God that is to possesse him who is Heaven eternal life and happinesse where holinesse is there God is he dwelleth and maketh his continual abode where holinesse abideth and dwelleth 9. O God my God from whom every good and perfect gift doth come give O give I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ unto me a holy heart according to thine own heart that it may be thine and that thou maiest delight in it to make it thy delight and be pleased to live in it here until thou shalt bring me to live with thee and in thee and to thee and for thee for ever and ever 10. What a stinking Carrion is man Ah what a most deformable thing is man when God is not with him nor in him so much an Enemy is to himself that he alwaies labours to destroy himself and to all others that he rejoyceth to kill those for whom Christ died to give life even eternal life 11. Ah Lord thou knowest that my Love through thy Love is such unto the brethren that I even many times wish and desire I could empty my self that is what of God is in me into them that they might be so filled with him as to know him love him fear him choose him prize him and joy and rejoyce in him and seek him and his presence with eagernesse hungring and thirsting pantings gapings and groanings and never let him be at rest until he hath
by thee as I may only and alwaies mind thee and have thee only and alwaies in my mind Let love to all the pleasures of the flesh though lawful be low poor icy cold and frozen to me that I may flee from them all to be heated by the fire of thy love to live in those blessed Sacred flames which is the life I desire to live for out of them I cannot live as I would life is to me death and death would be a sweet life delivering me from many deaths 51. Suffer me not ah suffer me not O Lord to love any thing else how lovely or lawful soever it may be if it hinder or lessen never so little my loving of thee but let me only choose prize esteem and delight in thy love and to walk worthy of it by all well-pleasing rejoycing to do thy holy will with my whole heart mind and will 52. Such and so great is thy love and thy goodness O Lord that thou delightest to make us good and then delightest in our goodness thou delightest to give us grace and then delightest in our graces thou delightest to make us holy and then delightest in our holiness thou delightest to make us perfect and then thou delightest in our perfection thou delightest to make us obedient and then thou delightest in our obedience thou delightest to make us lovely and then thou takest delight in our loveliness thou delightest ah thou delightest to make us such as thou wouldst have us to be and then thou takest great delight in the work of thine hands even in thine own handy-work 53. Ah our great most great God how greatly great is thy greatness How greatly good is thy goodness how greatly true is thy truth how greatly just is thy Justice how greatly mighty is thy might how greatly lovely is thy love how greatly beautiful is thy beautiful countenance How greatly ah how greatly sweet are all thy Sweets how greatly delightful are all thy delights how pleasant ah how pleasant are all thy pleasant things with thee O God is fulness of all joy unspeakable joy and from thy right hand flow pleasures for evermore 54. Ah the joyes the joyes even in this worlds joyes when God is in them and comes with them and when in that therein alone we take and make all our joy 55. God many times is so gracious as he takes us napping that is gives us grace when we sought it not yea gives us himself many many times when we seek him not when we think not of him 56. How doth he many times measure our unto us and shower down upon us such measure of mercy even when we never measured the sweetness nor the greatness of what received much less of that which we did not of that which we could not expect 57. Ah how much above all things is our God even in the want of all things of all this worlds all that soul ah that soul that hath him finds not nor cannot find any want at all 58. But wanting ah wanting him in the midst of all we have nothing even nothing at all but want all even all in the very enjoyment of all this worlds all 59. O God our God thou fillest us many times so ful that we even flow over with thy fulness even then many times when we see our selves find feel and know our selves most emptie and many times thou causest us to bear and bring forth most fruit even then when we think and see our selves most barren we have thee O God we have thee many times most when we think that we have thee least and thou are nighest us when we think ah when we think that thou art farthest off from us such a good God is our God 60. How much better is it to be a Lazarus to beg at a Dives door than be a Dives and suffer a Lazarus to beg at our doors and not to give him of our goods 61. How much better is it to have nothing at all of this worlds all then to have this worlds all and give of it ah and to give of it unto others nothing at all 62. How much better is it to feed on thee O God and to have nothing else to feed on than to feed on all things else and not to taste of thee of thine own sweet blessed most blessed and most sweet self O God in Christ who art the souls only food by faith 63. Having thee O God we are soon filled yea feasted and solaced with all delicious dainties but feeding on all other things and not tasting O God of thy pleasant things they have all no taste at all 64. O God thou knowst I would most willingly be ah most willinglie I would be a child yea a very fool in wisdom for the world or of worldlie wisdom for to get or keep earthlie things to be an old man in Christ to learn know feel and keep spiritual things Ah if I could alwaies walk talk and live in the Spirit and obey the Spirit I would account all other joyes and wisdome very toyes and meer foolishness 65. To forget all things out of God and besides God and to mind him so as to have nothing else in my mind this ah this is my longing desire and I trust it will continue in me through grace and augment until I have all I would have which is my Christ my Christ who is my God 66. Take all this worlds all ye men of the world give me my God my God and I will never ask yours your God But yet I would that ye had mine that my God were your God that my Portion were all your Portion also and that we might be ever brethren 67. Let me ah let me be blind as it were to see beautie in no beautie out of thee O Christ dumb to hear no voice but thine ah the still sweet voice of thy Spirit and senseless to feel no pleasure but in those things O God as are pleasing pretious and dear in thy fight lame so as I may not walk after any other thing but thee my God my God so that I may be only thine and none but thine at all times and in all places companies and things 68. He that hath not tasted of the sweetnesse of God even of those sweet sweets that God giveth to Souls knoweth it not and therefore desireth it not but Ah he that feedeth on them and hath been resatiated with them he finds no sweets like them nay all other pleasant things unpleasant and all other sweets bitter in comparison of these his sweet most pleasant sweets 69. Beeing with God having God enjoying God and Communion with him a dungeon is to him a Palace bread and water is good cheer to lye on the ground the earth his bed the heavens his canopy and the trees root his pillow is as a bed of down as curtains of gold and pillow of wool nay in flames of fire or on a rack he can lye
softly and sing sweetly so he do but hear the still sweet voyce of God speaking peace to his Soul and bidding it to be of good cheer 70. There is no companie like to no company to be alone with God with God alone if ever it be satisfied it is then satisfied to speak with him to him and to hear God answer him by his Spirit in love Ah the lovely discourse converse delight and joy which makes a man not to know where he is nor whether he be in the flesh or Spirit he is at such times so spiritual 71. Who can Ah who can tell or set forth nay meditate what how good great loving gracious merciful beautiful and abundant is the loving kindnesse the kind Love of God to his children and servants or set forth the sweetnesse and greatnesse of his gifts of Grace 72. He ravisheth them he filleth them he feedeth them he cloatheth them he solaceth them he inricheth them he giveth them such pleasures and joyes as eye hath not seen as ear hath not heard nor as no heart can conceive this honour doth the Lord to those whom he loveth to all his Saints 73. He maketh them to triumph in and over all adversity and prosperity in sicknesse and in health in all places and conditions he is alwaies nigh at hand to those that unfaignedly love him and fear him and that tremble at his Word 74. He causeth his goodnesse to passe before them and proclaimeth as with an audible voice that he will be ever and for ever their God and their Guide their Sun and their shield their peace and their everlasting portion that he will never leave them nor forsake them but alwaies and ever own them for his own and so stand by them and live and dwell in them that no evil shall come nigh them to hurt them or to do them the least harm but every thing shall alwaies work together for his own glory and their everlasting good 75. Thus they that honour him he will honour they that flye to him shall find succour and help and be brought out of all dangers for his own mouth hath spoken it which is to me much more by much than ten thousand thousand witnesses 76. Ah Lord I most humbly beseech thee keep me so close unto thee as I may alwaies touch thee feel thee hear thee so as I may know thee by thy name that is by thy doings by thy gratious most gratious dealings by thy wonderful by thy most wonderful gratious actings in my Soul and heart and mind and will and affections that it may be all thine and only thine that thou maist not only O God be in all my thoughts alwaies but alwaies all my thoughts desires love liking and longing 77. Fill me O Lord fill me with love to thy Laws that I may delight in them yea make the keeping of them my whole and chief delight 78. Fill me O God with thine own goodnesse that I may be good with thine own Justice that I may be just with thine own righteousnesse that I may be righteous with thine own mercy that I may be merciful with thine own truth that I may be truely true with thine own Love that I may be lovely loving thee in truth with thine own fear to fear thee with thine own Faith to believe in thee and to lay fast hold upon thee with thine own beauty O Lord to make me comly and beautiful with thine own gloriousnesse to make me glorious with thine own transcendent shining faithfulnesse that I may be faithful unto thy holy Laws all my whole life 79. Thou hast O God thou hast for which I shall neve cease to laud and praise thee promised to keep me by thine own power through Faith unto salvation therefore I will not be afraid nor fear any power no nor all powers what ever whether of sin men or Devils for I know that they are all weak and that thou art strong they are the conquered thou O Lord thou art the Conquerour they are all subdued and thou hast O Lord subdued them they are brought under and thou rulest over them they are thy foot-stool and thou tramplest upon them all their all to thee O great God is nothing even nothing at all all the Nations of the Earth are as the drop of a bucket and as the dust of the ballance in thy sight with the breath of thy nostrils thou art able to consume them and turn them to their first substance dust therefore O Lord my Lord I will depend and rely on thee that thou wilt do for thy servant this good that is so great even to make preserve and keep me faithful unto the death and then O Lord then in the greatnesse of thy eternal and everlasting goodnesse wilt give me for ever the Crown of eternal life 80. How small a thing how poor a thing and how low a thing is and are all things if God be not in them and come not with them 81. What is it to have all things out of God and besides God that is not to have him with them in them who is all good and only able to make all things good unto us 81. How poor and low are all these high things here below the riches of the World the honours of the World and the pleasures of the World to enjoy all their pleasures and their joyes how foolish is it and Ah what toys considering their ficklenesse shortnesse and uncertainty for what is green desirable and flourishing to day is to morrow perhaps withered dry loathsome and all its beauty past away for who can say of any thing or of himself it shall be to morrow as it is this day 82. The wicked shall not live out half his daies and how long soever he live they will not be half the dayes he would live though God should lengthen them as he did Hezekiahs for ten years nay for a hundred nay make his daies as Methusalems all such a time would be but a moment to eternity but to live in the Love and favour of God a man shall dye never but death shall make him live for ever and for ever 83. What a poor yea despicable poor small thing are Kingdoms Crowns and Scepters and what else as humane Learning the wisdom of men mans wisdom yea though a man could know more than Adam or Solomon knew though he could know all things that are and that perfectly too that are out of God and besides God what Ah what were all this learning knowledg or wisdom but folly meer foolishnesse in comparison of the knowledg of the Spirit Spiritual knowledg to know in Spirit and in Truth Jesus Christ and him crucified to be our Christ and our Jesus Paul accounted all other wisdom folly to this and so blessed be our God do I he desired to know no other thing but only this one thing no more do not I Let all other knowledg in me perish so this augment and
lusts and affections cost thou find all evil inclinations mortified have they all received a deadly wound do they all stink in thy Nostrils as they do in Gods and are they all loathsome unto thee as they are unto him and detested by thee with thy whole heart as by God that is in truth and sincerity of heart and as well and as much secret airy vaine foolish thoughts that disturb thy peace and thy Communion with God as open sins so that Gods nature divine Image and resemblance is most of all dear pretious and delightful unto thee and thou labourest with tooth and naile to preserve it with a continual heedful watchful careful care so that to do good is habitual in thee yea as it were natural it is all thy delight joy rejoycing end and ayme dost thou hartily hare all the former evil that was in thy heart loathing detesting and abhorring the sins of thy life heretofore thy heretofore sins are all their sweets become to thy tast bitter as gall and wormwood are all their pleasures altogether unsavory unpleasant and so loathsome as thy very heart riseth aganist them and loatheth the very thoughts of them do they appear unto thee all both the great and the small in their own black colours filthy and ugly hue is there no one lull'd in thy bosome hugg'd in thine arms imbraced in thine heart pleasant in thine eye sweet to thy tast or winkt or connived at as a small one or but as one as a dear one even near and dear as a right eye or a right hand but are they all both great and small known or unknown secret as well as open like unto thee exceeding yea above measure loathsome and sinful dost thou watch against them alwayes and not suffer any one when he peeps in to come in dost thou flye from them all as thou would'st do from the Devil from Hell and from the greatest of Gods Judgments and Eternal wrath are they to thee as a Hell yea as the worst of Hell in Hell dost thou feel the burthen of but one sin though not committed altogether willingly or with delight to be heavier then the whole earth and had'st rather have all the Rocks and Mountains in the whole world to fall on thee to lye upon thee then one willing sin committed to lye upon thee and is sin thus hated loathed detested and abhorred by thee because it is sin because it is a breach of Gods holy Laws and divine Commandments which are altogether all holy just and good because they disturb thy peace and thy communion with God and are contrary to thy nature in truth as to Gods nature and because they make thee to lose thine image and likeness of God and Christ and converse with the Spirit of grace who is thy sole and souls comfort and comforter and for that they make thee vile in Gods eyes and disobedient unto him for whom thou art and wert created and for whom and unto whom thou desirest to live to love to fear to honour and to obey for ever and for ever 93. Art thou conformable to Christ thy head thy husband thy Lord and thy King Doth he wholly reign and rule in thy heart with consent applause delight joy and rejoycing and in and over all the faculties of thy soul and members of thy body Art thou holy as he is holy pure as he is pure and perfect as he is perfect that is sincere in truth truly sincere in all thy actions and affections Art thou within as thou seemest to be without and dost thou labour much more to be approved applauded esteemed and honoured by God and in his sight than by men and in their sight Dost thou stick only to him cleave to him and hold him fast with true faithful sincere ardent continual and loving embraces and choosest him only for thy choice for thy chief Superiour best and soveraign good for thy heaven for thy happiness and for thy felicity peace rest and blessedness Is there nothing in heaven so dear and pretious unto thee as is thy God thy Christ nor in all the earth in comparison of him Dost thou much more love heaven for God than God for heaven 94. Is Jesus Christ become to thee so great gain as for his sake thou carest not what loss thou dost fustain Temporal or Spiritual so that thou maiest live the life of the righteous to his praise honour and glory Thou carest not what be thy condition nor where thy place of abode be nor with whom nor what be thy life nor what thy death be though poor hunger-starved full of scabs botches and sores from the crown of the head to the sole of the foot like unto Job or Lazarus so as there be no whole place in thee and though thou shouldst be as they were defamed vilified condemned cast out scoffed at mocked lie in the dust on a dunghill be fed with the dogs yea refused what is given them even the very Crums that fall under other mens Tables yea though thou shouldst be banished imprisoned persecuted scourged whipped tormented rackt torn by wild horses consumed by fire or drown'd in the depth of the sea 95. Canst thou choose any of all these yea all these and all other afflictions whatsoever willingly chearfully and joyfully for Christs sake and the Gospels rather than deny thy faith thy hope thy love rather than commit any sin rather than do the least evil with consent approbation liking or choice Is Christ better to thee than all things Canst thou truly cordially and sincerely say that thou hast nothing so dear and near to thee as Christs Honour Crown and Glory is And whatever be thy Portion here below of these high low things thou canst willingly with all thy heart and will go from them all or be content that all things be taken from thee Houses Lands Goods Kindred Friends Father Mother Wife Children and what else desiring much rather by much to hold fast thine integrity with the loss of all these then hold fast these and lose thy love thy light thy life which is thy Jusus 96. Wouldst thou mnch rather choose affliction any affliction yea all afflictions Temporal and Spiritual on body and soul as the children of God rather than commit the pleasures of sin for a season rather than in the least displease thy Christ thy Jesus thy God thy good thy Saviour and thy Redeemer for a moment much rather by much suffer the afflictions due to sin then sin and suffer no affliction for surely a Saints greatest affliction is sin sin is the very worst of hell to him that makes God his best heaven the heaven of heaven in heaven 97. Dost thou feel thy heart heartily to long for the knowledge of God and all his waies to love fear serve honour and obey him And dost thou find that all that thou dost is nothing to what thou wouldst and desirest and longest to do Thy very best is too too bad thy
in his eyes who can behold no falsity no evil 25. Truth is that mantle to cover our many infirmityes and to make us that with bouldness we may approach that glorious Sun and not be burnt that glorious day and pertake of its glory that will cloud and eclipse the errours that are yet in us and make us to feel and to know that we are bound up in this blessed mantle with his hand that will take care over us and for us that no evil any more hurt us 26. Ah God the God of truth and my God let this truth of thine never depart from me nor I from it let me shine in it more and more that I may be resplendent and glorious alwayes shining in thy sight that thou mayest delight to look upon me to love me and to honour me making me thy delight in and through the Son of thy love and the Saviour and Redeemer of my soul Jesus Christ the Righteous let my heart be alwayes a heart of truth a true heart serving thee unfainedly and doing alwayes all that I do in truth from love 27. When God is present there is present all good for all good is in God and from him proceedeth nothing but good he being the best the chief and the only good 28. Accordinglie as we enjoy God our joyes abound increase or decrease 29. When we possess him whatever other things we possossess we possess them noâ— whatever else we hear we hear not whatever else we see we see not whatever else we be we are as if we were not he being the souls all even all that it wills would loves or desires the soul is so glued to him that it cannot be taken off by any thing that is either in heaven above or on earth below 30. Who can ah who can recount express tell or set forth the gracious magnificent transcendent bountiful bountifulness of our God in Jesus Christ its height is too high its breadth is too broad its length is too long and its depth is too deep As it is only his own Spirit that can tell what is in his mind for our good so it is only they they only that possess his Spirit that can comprehend in some measure the sweet Sweets that he gives that he powers and showers down into the hearts of his beloved ones 31. The joyes of heaven are far above Unto all those that truly love Than all else be that we do know That we taste that we feel that we see 32. Go on go on O God go on To give me thy beloved Son Let him be mine let me be his For he 's my joy my peace and bliss 33. Let me in him and he in me Be alwaies seen to live and be Then when this all shall pass away My soul with him shall ever stay 34. It is unto thee O Christ that I come to have of thy self thy self 35. Let the world and devil use all their skill I am sure my God will be with me still 36. I am sure that God will sit and prepare me for all trials and afflictions whatsover either before or in the trial of affliction 37. Ah Lord I beseech thee give me this grace that I may desire grace pray for grace and prize grace here on earth as I do and shall do glory hereafter in heaven for I know that he that hath not grace here shall not have glory hereafter and the more grace here the more glory hereafter 38. If then I live the life of grace here I am as sure I shall live the life of glory hereafter 39. Me thinks it is much too low a thing for a Christian to desire any thing either here or hereafter for himself alone If I desire any thing here methinks it is chiefly for other most of all for others to refresh and comfort them I desire to have that I may have to give as for my self any condition I praise God would now fully please me would now fully content me yea I am fully perswaded that any bitter yea all bitters would be to me sweet in povertie I should find riches in banishment libertie in dishonour honour in contempt applause in being despised rejoyce and though I had nothing yet me thinks I should enjoy all things 40. My God knows how much I desire heaven but more for his sake then for my own sake he knoweth that knoweth all the secrets of my heart that with my heart and soul I love him more much by much then my self I am so unlovely to my self that I cannot that I dare not love my self but in subordination to him and for him that I may praise him that I may prize him that I may fear him that I may love him ah that I may love him obey him and adore him 41. To love God I am unfit I am unworthy because I cannot ah because I cannot love him as I would as I should Indeed if thus it were possible for me to love him ah how would I delight even in my own love and love my self if that I had such a heart according to his heart to love him only with my whole heart even with a holy heart 42. But I find my heart so dull so dead so cold so benumm'd so Icy and frozen that there is not that heat left within me of love as I would as I desire and as I should have for my God for my good for my heaven for my bliss for my rest for my peace and for my only joy all which is my God 43. Ah my Love thou art altogether unlovely because thou dost not and because thou canst not love as thou shouldst what thou shouldst love and because thou lovest so much too much what thou shouldst not love thy self thy unlovely loveless self 44. Ah Lord my Lord it is thee it is thee that my soul with all my heart would love and would if it could love none else love none besides in comparison of thee and thou knowst O Lord my God I desire sincerely and would be filled with this grace of Love but for thee alone alone for thee for thee my God my God who art to me onlie lovelie let I beseech thee all other love that is disordinate decrease that loving these less I may love thee more love thee so as thou requirest and deservest that is above all things in heaven above or on earth below 45. I know O Lord that thou art with me of a truth because thy truth is with me that is in me of a very truth 46. Love from God fills our hearts with sincere and true love for God or Gods love to us fills us with love for him his love sweetly constraineth us 47. Ah how light how light is that heart that is emptied of all sin being unburdened of that intolerable burden for if a wounded heart cannot be born ah then when such a heart is made whole it must needs bring ease refreshing comfort and unspeakable joy 48.
love the other because it is in it self lovelie 91. O Lord let my love be true for thee as thine is I am sure for me 92. Let my love O Lord be hot for thee as I am sure thine is for me 93. Let my love be strong for thee as I am sure thine is O Lord for me 94. Let my love be sincere for thee as thine is O my Lord I am sure for me 95. Let my love be continual O Lord God for thee as I am sure thine is and shall be for ever for me 96. All the things out of God and besides God are to a true believer but as husks but as the shell but as dry bones c. But all things in God are the pith without the husk are the kernel out of the shell are as marrow out of the bone they are truly savory and sweet much more desirable and to be desired than gold yea then much fine gold and the most pretious pearls 97. He that is in God and finds God in him that is the life of Christ within him Christ which is holiness to be writ on his heart esteemeth himself rich in the greatest poverty for he knoweth that all things are his he still carrieth about with him that unspeakable treasure that unpusible treasure that will make him truly rich wise and honourable to all Eternitie and with this riches he maketh many rich though such a one be despised he mocketh at their laughter and mockings and sincerely desires and wisheth that they had changed their estates for such an estate as will make them surely and truly for ever rich 98. He that possesseth the riches of God his spirit esteemeth the wiscome of the wise according to the flesh that is humane freshly wisdome to be but meer foolishnesse the treasures of the world though it were even all this worlds treasure to be but meer trash and all its honours and pleasures to be but meer emptiness shadows outsides nothing and can be all fitly compared to nothing but to nothing 99. Let me have thee O God alwayes and I will alwayes say as Jacob did when he had thee I have all and I am sure I shall never lack any thing at all for this life or the life to come for thou art O God more then all that is either in Heaven above or on earth below 100. He that possesseth God thus hath in some measure Gods likenesse which is holinesse within and without and that bringeth true contentment and he that is truly contented wanteth nothing but possesseth much more by much than he which if it could be should possesse all the whole world its riches honours and pleasures thus the man that liveth in God knoweth findeth and feeleth and therefore rejoyceth with unspeakable joy and this his joy as no man knoweth so no man can take it from him it is the gift of God yea it is the gift God 101. What Ah what heart is able to conceive or tongue express the joyes Ah the joyes the joyes that he enjoyes that thus enjoyes God how how Ah how doth he rejoyce and triumph having got such a Victory having such a Crown of glory such a glorious most glorious Crown put on his head much finer then the finest gold and brighter then the clearest Pearl or Diamond thus faith makes such souls triumph without controul they are so fully filled with those rivers of pleasures that flow from Gods own right hand 102. Thou art O God thou art and there is none else none besides thee God blessed for ever give me I most humbly beseech thee if it be agreeable unto thee those joyes continually that I may Ah that I may continually fear thee that I may continually love thee that I may continually serve thee and more and more O Lord much by much give up my self spirit soul and body unto thee to worship and to adore thee the greatness of thy goodness and the goodness of thy greatness which is so incomprehensible and without end Ah Lord I leave my self with thee leave thou thy self with me I desire thou knowest never to goe from thee goe not then I beseech thee from me but let me be all thine and alwayes thine from this time forth and for ever more Amen so be it Lord so be it Amen Amen 103. the glory of my glory is that thou hast O God created me for thine own self for thine own glory swallow me up so in thy self that all things out of thee and besides thee O God who art my best good may be swallowed up that is consumed that all mine may be all thine thee thine mine 105. I would much rather by much that God should keep from me the greatest comforts then not to see and know my failings and fallings 106. Ah Lord the sight and knowledge of my failings and fallings causeth thee to have thoughts of good for me to send me comfort by restoring me to thy wonted favour and by giving me repenting grace pardoning grace and preserving grace 107. By seeing my failings and my fallings thou pitiest me O Lord because I am in so pitiful a case 108. Ah Lord let thine eyes be alwayes open and watch thou over me to see me in what case or condition soever I be 109. I was indeed I confess heretofore ashamed and afraid that thou should'st and did'st see me and know me I was so vile and filthy and finding no true love in me for thee I thought O Lord that thou had'st noise in thee for me but that thou did'st hate me because indeed I was altogether hateful But now I know and for which I heartily and sincerely desire ever to praise thee that thine anger is turned away and that thine hand is stretched out still over me to preserve protect defend maintaine and to do me good 110. So that what I thought was my ill I now know is my greatest good that thou seest me O God that thou alwayes seest me and I would not but that thou did'st alwayes see me as well when I am in my sins in my worst case and condition as when at the very best because at the very best thou canst see I acknowledge and sincerely consess nothing in me that thou should'st do any good to me or for me so bad is my very best so empty nothing and vile is all mine all And knowing thee now O Lord God by thine own sweet name of love and mercy I am not I praise thee at all afraid that thou see in me all my sins past because thou hast given me a free pardon for them present sins because having pardoned those I am as sure that thou wilt pardon these neither am I afraid of my sins to come because I know that thou art never weary doing good and that thou never me Wherefore O Lord seeing that thou art become my Lord and my God I now most humbly beseech thee to look on me at all times in all places and things
what ever my failings or my fallings be to recover me and comfort me as thou did'st Peter for I know and firmly through grace believe that what thou wert thou art and wilt be ever unto me a sin pardoning God a God pardoning all my sins whatsoever And seeing O God my God that thou art such a God as thou art give me grace that whatever I do I may do it to thy Glory for thy Glory and never more Ah never more willingly wittingly or knowingly sin against thee in thought word or deed but freely and cheerfully depart henceforth from all iniquity with my whole heart and Soul even from all both the great and the small that I may be ever thine and all thine from this time forth and for ever more Amen 111. Thus the Lord brings good out of evil Sweet out of bitter and gives us as at this time unto my poor Soul new tokens pledges and assurances of his old Love 112. Ah Lord let this thy Love and kindnesse even thy most loving and kind Love be alwaies had in remembrance of me and cause me to cling to thee to cleave to thee to hold thee fast and never to let thee go and let me alwaies say the Lord be praised the Lord be praised alwaies 113. Ah Lord seeing I have so deeply and so sweetly drank of and at this thy wel of consolation let it be in me ever a well of living water that may never grow dry that I may alwaies suck at this breast to refresh my Soul when I am a thirst 114. I sincerely confesse and professe were I to spend all my daies to praise thee that the time would be too too short much by much to shew forth thy loving kindnesse and thy Love wherewith thou hast loved me And therefore my soul praiseth thee and rejoyceth for that there shall be no end of that time which thou hast O God appointed wherein I shall speak of and sing thy praises it shall be World without end that I shall praise thee O God the God of my Salvation and my God 115. O God let this mercy be alwaies as fire to heat me as food to feed me as drink to refresh me as wine to comfor me as cloaths to cloth me as riches of all sorts to inrich me let it be to me alwaies all things Let it not lose its worth nor fast by lying but let it be alwaies as the honey-comb dropping honey to revive and comfort and strengthen me and that I never forget what a God thou art and that thou changest not thou art still the same God blessed for ever and for ever 116. Ah Lord let me never forget these thy mercies but through grace and the presence of thy Holy Spirit walk worthy of them unto all eternity through the worthinesse merits and obedience of Jesus Christ thy only Son and my alone Saviour and Redeemers sake Amen 117. Many times God is so good and gratious so merciful and loving unto us that then even then when we fear we shall see his frowns that he will frown on us when we come before him He to our great astonishment and admiration smiles on us When we fear that he will strike us with the rod of his anger he imbraceth and kisseth us with the kisses of exceeding transcendent Love when we fear he will be absent he is then many times most sweetly present surpassing much by much all sweets conceivable as he was at this time to me which Ah that I could alwaies bear in mind that I might henceforth and forever live as I should live to his honour and for his glory only 118. Thus is our God good that he bringeth us good when we fear evil and sometimes sheweth us that his goodnesse is so great towards us for us that he mindeth not our evil 119. Surely when we mind it much and afflict our selves and are heartily ashamed and confounded by reason of our weaknesses failings and imperfections he sheweth that he will not punish us when we do as it were thus freely and severely punish our selves he knoweth of what we are made and that we are but dust and yet he delighteth that we love him fear him prise him praise him and believe him and make him and his Love all our delight and joy 220. Ah Lord suffer me never more to requite this thy exceeding great kindnesse with the least or any unkindnesse but that I may henceforth walk before thee circumspectly and wisely with a heedful watchful careful care doing alwaies thy will with my whole heart mind and will 121. When a Soul sees himself free from the Love liking or allowing of any sin it see its self in God and how it is made partaker of the Divine Nature that it is a little spark or beam of that glorious Light which is pure trasparent bright and clear and having no mixture nor no cloud for sin only brings darknesse in the Soul sin only is the cloud which eclypses the Light of this glorious Sun sin only darkens and weakens our sight and our knowledge and hinders us that we do not nor cannot see our selves as we are in God but when that sin is done away totally that is all Love liking and allowance then are the eies of our understanding opened and all darknesse is swallowed up done away and wholy and totally consumed and we are swallowed up in to this Divine Light by which we are made to see and know our selves as we are in God a part as it were of this Light even this Light it self in some measure it is so in us and we are so in it we see our selves clear and free from all fears and cares being delivered from them and having obtained the fulnesse of knowledge desired or desirable that is that we are partakers of him that is all purity all light all wisdom all serenity peace contentednesse and rest all passions ceasing of desiring more for all the desires are satisfied having this knowledge to see our selves and know our selves to be with him and in him which to know to behold is to partake of and this is Eternal Life in us 122. But when the mind of man I mean only his thoughts is on any sinne though never so smal or never so little if in the least measure consented unto it robs him at that time of all his happinesse his sight is darkned his eies are so dim that he cannot look up sin is so heavy so devilish that it presseth the Soul downward to Hell to the Devil which plainly shews its Center whence it is and what it is for the time that it is thus liked or loved or but connived at it metamorphoses the Soul and makes it instead of being God-like Spiritual Knowledge Light Purity Serenity Peace Rest Comfort Joy and full contentednesse to be in some measure Devil-like darknesse fear shame horror confusion condemnation accusation hanging yea falling alwaies downward and not able in the least measure to
look upward or to hope or to think or to believe this is the nature of sin and of the man that is in sin to be heavy dull faint coward swallowing down and giving it self up unto all fears horribly ashamed and confounded being darknesse even black thick darknesse darknesse it self and miserable ignorance which I take to be the greatest and sorest evil of all to be deprived of this heavenly flower of this heavens beauty of knowledge to see and know our blessed estates of being in God and Gods being in us which is perfect full whole and entire blessednesse therefore the contrary ignorance black thick ignorance must needs be the contrary the puddle the filth and excrement of Hell in it self as it were entire full whole compleat and perfect cursednesse and misery 123. Ah Lord God how great how transcendent magnificent wonderfully exceeding and unspeakably great is thy bountiful goodnesse in giving and forgiving what thou givest and forgivest especially unto me despicable poor vile me the first chiefest and greatest of all sinners and the very worst of the worst of all men how Ah how my Soul doth desire unfaignedly at this time to prize and praise thee I know that thou knowest And Ah that I could tell and shew forth how and what thou hast at this very time done for me in opening mine eies to see and know and comprehend in some measure and understand what it is to be in thee to partake of thee and to be swallowed up into thee in a little though very little dark measure to know thee but clearly to see feel and know that I am comprehended of thee that is that thou art mine and that I am thine Ah Lord suffer not I beseech thee that the ignorance which I am sure that sin brings with it take away from me this glorious portion of knowledg to know and feel and see my self in thee and that thou art and all thine mine Ah Lord let this light of thine which is thy self alwaies shine in me that by it I may be kept from the black thick darknesse of sin ignorance and errour and that I may not hence forth walk in those waies which lead unto such deep destruction as to eclypse weaken darken much lesse put out or destroy this glorious beam of thy most glorious light which through thy free most free grace and mercy in Jesus Christ thou hast at this time caused so brightly clearly transparently and fully to shine upon me Ah Lord let this glorious Light of thine alwaies continue in me that I may alwaies see my self in thee and thee in me and know thee to be mine and that I am thine that thereby I may be inabled to tell of and to set forth thy praises and that thou art such a God as thou art and to be desired and sought after only being only the desirable and the desired And grant that the remembrance of this thy Love and gratious dealing with me at this time may never be forgotten by me not slip out of my mind but that I may alwaies have it in remembrance that it may be as a strong Tower and bulwark against all and every temptation that shall at any time fall upon me and that hereby I may be made more and more able to resist every lust and sin whether in thought word or deed to hate it and flye from it as the greatest of all evils as the fire of Hell and the worm of Conscience esteeming it the very worst of the worst of the Devil Let it I most humbly beseeth thee O our Father in Jesus Christ strengthen and augment my resolution and hatred against all and every sin as well against the least of all as the very greatest of all that I may more and more see all sin to be exceeding sinful the bane ruine destruction and destroyer of all good blessednesse and happinesse Ah Lord hear me and answer me in Jesus Christ and continue thus gratiously to go along with me to be alwaies by me and to watch over me that no evil at any time either in thought word or deed overtake me or come nigh me to hurt me to the end I may walk before thee with a perfect and upright heart doing alwaies all that is right in thy sight that thou maiest O Lord more and more delight in me the work of thy hand and in some measure I hope trust and believe in Jesus Christ the joy of thy heart and that thou wilt gratiously own me for thine own and never be ashamed to be called my God for Christ my Soul doth and shall alwaies blesse thee and to him with thine own most glorious Majesty and Holy Spirit of Grace the Sanctifier and Comforrer be alwaies and eternally given Honour Glory Power Might Majesty Dominion and Thanksgiving for ever and for ever Amen 124. God he waiteth to be gratious to bring deliverance to his children and servants as they wait for the grace of deliverance 125. Thus is our Good good gratious and merciful Sympathizing with us in our afflictions as well as in our comforts 126. Thus is our God a most gratious God The God of all grace and Father of all mercies alwaies doing good never weary repenting or standing still 127. His fountain of Love favour grace and mercy is not only alwaies open for us but alwaies running over flowing out to run into us he is abundant in loving kindnesse yea his delight is to be alwaies doing good he would that we would alwaies ask that he might alwaies give 128. It is not possible but impossible to be weary speaking unto God when that we have his Spirit or to be weary hearing of him speak to us by the same Spirit 129. His words are as the droppings of honey the sweet of all sweets sweeter much by much than the honey or the honey comb 130. The Soul of a right Christian of a true Believer doth not nor cannot desire more favour than to be admitted to speak freely unto God being fitted by him and taught by his Spirit what to speak for then he is sure to hear him to speak to him again an answer of peace 131. If it be so delightful a thing to us here in the flesh whilst we are as it were so far from him or at least seeing him far off so darkly his back parts only Ah how comforting how solacing how transforming to see his transcendent glorious face as he is to be seen and to hear his sweet and sacred voyce audably that we are his and that he is ours And when he shall have cloathed us with his own liknesse and have made us in some small measure glorious as he is glorious for we shall then shine in the glory of our head Christ Jesus putting on his glory 132. Ah Lord God be good unto me and grant that through thine infinite fulness and goodnesse I may fill others that are empty with these thine overslowings wherewith thou hast filled
all because it is from thee O God because it is of thee and according unto thee and therefore lovely beautiful desirable and to be only loved 202. Let me love only that O Lord God which thou lovest and hate what thou hatest and as thou lovest and hatest both the one and the other that is alwaies and for ever and for ever In Bourdeaux Anno 1660. 1. THe happiness of a Christian in this World or in this life he makes as to me to be strength against all sin even against all both great and smal against the lust of the eie the lust of the flesh and the pride of life that he may totally overcome and alwaies all sinful worldly fleshly lustings and affections so that he commit not consent unto no evil at all either great or small but serve the Lord continually in sincerity and godly simplicity by all his thoughts words and actions doing all good alwaies that is possible to be done at least in his choice will and desire 2. The comfort of a Christian in this life is in purity and holynesse of heart mind affection and thoughts endeavouring alwaies with might and main to his very utmost that he be not carried away with vain foolish fleshly thoughts cogitations inclinations or affections The more Spiritual holy heavenly and the more perfect he is the more of the Divine Nature he hath the more of Heavens beauty glory and happinesse is in him the more he hath of the glorious beautiful and ever blessed impress of the Image of God in him which shines forth unto his understanding comprehension and reason so irradiously and brightly that he is comforted delighted and refreshed with the very joyes and bliss in glory he is made partaker of those very joyes though but in a small measure that the Angels and Saints enjoy in Heaven for such a soul possesseth God and his glory and happinesse as they do the difference only is in the measure or quantity and not in the certainty or quality the Saints cup in Heaven is full to the brim when given them and they drink deep of those pleasures and joyes which are at Gods right hand But we indeed here have but a sip a tast and away they indeed enjoy these joyes alwaies without the least intermission But alas our enjoyment of these joys are short but a very little moment we cannot so comprehend as they do how they are comprehended we see but darkly and know but in part however it is the same that they see and know and so are all things ours as well as theirs both things present and to come for God being our God we have as much as they have he being our Portion theirs is not nor theirs cannot be greater 3. Thus is a Saint on Earth perfectly substantially effectually in heaven though on earth at times and sees and beholds things there as they are for a Saints heart which is his better part and greatest part is alwaies in Heaven though his body be on Earth his affections are above and burn in the fire of Love alwaies for the things that are above purity holinesse and love his Meditations and desires are on his God in his God and for his God and thus he dwelleth in God and God dwelleth in him which is the sole entire and compleat comfort and joy of his life and soul even as it is theirs that enjoy and possesse God in Heaven 4. Put these two together a Christians happinesse and a Christians comfort for they cannot be separated yea there is such a onenesse in them as though they be two yet they seem to be but one true one man may abound more in one of them and the other in another Now I am sure that there is not the man alive nor never will live that knows the sweet the worth and the excellency of them but will confesse and say that such a man is the only happy man the comfortable man the peaceable man the rich and the honourable man Ah man man who ever then thou art that shalt be brought by Providence I mean the Spiritual and most favourable Providence of God to peep here into I pray thee endeavour to pry and look into this perfect Law of Liberty more fully more clearly more plainly than yet thou hast and thou shalt find what I have exprest thy self to be even in Heaven and Heaven to be in thee though thou art on Earth to be in God and God to be in thee which is both men and Angels only good bliss happiness comfort joy and rest which good Lord for thine only holy names sake in Jesus Christ I most humbly beseech thee cause me more and more to know to feel to love and long after and that it may be my only imployment to find out this incomparable good this wisdom of wisdom those joys of all joys the only true and satisfactory and to be desired esteemed and rejoyced in Let me then O God my God I beseech thee be sequestred from all things that tend to please satisfie refresh solace content or delight the flesh for I earnestly would O God if thou so wilt that thou wouldst alwaies be all mine all for thou alone thou knowest O God my God art only able to satisfie the ambitious and exorbitant covetous desires of my mind heart and soul for it hanckers and hangs on thee as thou knowest continually let me have thee O God let me so have thee as I may find and feel that I have nothing else what ever else I may have Let me be swallowed up and consumed in thee yea let me I most humbly beseech thee be as it were dead and senslesse to all things out of thee and besides thee and give me grace that I may so live to thee here that I may ever live with thee he easter as there so here to blesse praise magnifie laud honour and extol thy holy ever holy most blessed most great most gratious and most glorious name So be it Lord So be it Amen Amen 5. A Christians life should be me thinks but a good thought that is alwaies thinking of God for good or at the most but as two thoughts one of Gods Goodnesse Love Mercy and Kindnesse and the other of our own desparate badnesse unkindnesse ingratitude and misery Thus even thus me thinks we should alwaies be all the day long all our daies unto the very end of our lives 6. According as is our Spiritual warfare within us so is our peace if there be an universal warr in all the faculties of the Soul and members of the body against all sin then and only then do we enjoy peace true peace full peace and perfect peace Wherefore make first a Covenant with thine eies that they gaze not abroad not look irregularly or wantonly Secondly with thine ears that thou take no pleasure but avoid to heir all vain idle foolish or sinful talk Thirdly with thine hands that they touch no unclean
be nigh us and how do we cast our selves down before him at his feet and bewail our infirmities and weaknesses begging strength from him to support and keep us up how do we wonder and are astonisht to see the fire of his wrath kindled against the wicked and against evil doers and yet that such wicked evil doers as we are are not consumed to see fire in the bush and yet the bush not burnt 11. Thus we may plainly see that God seeth all to be good for us yea best of all which he sendeth us causing every thing to work together for our good Ah seeing then that his love mercy and goodnesse is such and so great for us let us always mightily praise him and prize him at the very highest price and give up our spirits souls and bodyes to live to him and for him and unto and for his praise honour and glory it being our glory and our honour our happiness and our bliss that he is such a God as he is To him alone therefore be given alwayes all honour and glory and praise for ever and for ever 12. Laying out is laying up laying out of earthly treasure on earth with a heavenly heart is to lay up heavenly treasure in Heaven according to Gods word and his heart 13. God giveth unto his Children of his own strength to overcome as it were himself he delighteth to be as it were overcome by them And to make us more than Conquerours 14. Ah the mercy the mercy and bounty of God and the misery of man that God being such a God as he is should notwithstanding continue to do so much for man and man nevertheless continue continually to do so much against his God I say against his God even then when he knoweth God to be his God 15. Ah Lord how is it that thou should'st take pleasure to mind us so much as thou dost although thou knowest well our evil minds and how little we mind thee and although thou tellest us by thine own spirit how that we are near and dear unto thee even alwayes in thy mind and heart to do us good for ever and for ever Ah how great is our misery to have such depraved natures and such Devil-like hearts to pay thy merciful kindnesse with such high unkindnesse and ingratitude to thee who art our only good 16. How is it O Lord that thou takest such continual care and payns as it were and art at so much cost to overcome us with thy loving kindnesse and yet we remain so brutish and senslesse stupid and unkind that we will not but refuse to be overcome 17. Ah the misery the misery of man who is never weary nor would never be weary of doing evil yea all manner of evil against his most kind and loving Lord and God who is so good to him as he is never weary nor repents of doing of him good notwithstanding his continual doing of evil or doing of all evil continually 18. A good heart giveth unto the Lord freely cheerfully willingly and rejoycingly of all that he hath and alwaies acknowledgeth and saith of thine own O Lord I will and do give thee 19. When that the Lord giveth unto such a soul Grace he giveth him Glory when he giveth him outward things he praiseth him and enlargeth his bowels of compassion unto the Saints 20. Such hearts desire mightily largnesse of heart or large hearts to give according to what they receive whether it be Spirituals or Temporals nothing is so near or dear unto them as the work of the Lord which is to do his will in all things from the very highest of Grace to the very lowest of things in Nature 21. Ah Lord God let me alwaies bear thee in mind when ever I mind that is think on any thing 22. Let me O Lord I most humbly and unfeignedly beseech thee do every thing that I do as knowing and remembring that thou seest and all knowest the thoughts of my heart and writest down all my words and works on thy blessed book of remembrance 23. Let me do all that I do before men as before thee O God my God knowing that thou seest it and hearest it 24. And all that I take in hand to do O God before thee Let me do it all as if all the men in the World did look on me and see it 25. Norwithstanding the greatnesse and numberless number of my sins thy goodnesse O God was so great towards me as moved thee to have compassion on me and to pour out thy endlesse and everlasting Love and kindnesse in mercy upon me 26. Also O God thou causedst my own sins to appear so great and filthy before me that I was thereby ashamed of my self and confounded before thee 27. So that seeing my self thus polluted filthy abominable and unclean yea abominably unclean I left my self willingly I hated and do hate and do hate my self truly and I imbraced through Grace thy most gratious offers of Grace Love and Mercy heartily and unfeignedly returning unto thee with my whole heart desiring entirely and sinserely an entire change from all evil to all good from my own evil waies to thy most blessed waies that are so good so sweet so beautiful so delightful that since the knowledge of them my soul hath been often delighted refreshed feasted and satisfied in them and with them 28. Ah mercy of mercies that thou wouldest O God be pleased thus in mercy to look on me when I was fit and ripe for all thy Judgments And when thou mightest justly have poured out the viols of thy wrath and fury upon me with the greatest indignation that then even then to kindle the flames of Love in my heart from the continual burnings in thine O God in thine to love fear seek adore and serve thee unfiegnedly with my whole heart Ah what mercy to this mercy 29. Continue O God that art my God and only good continue Ah continue I most humbly beseech thee to be thus merciful unto me that I turn not thy Grace into wantonnesse but in some measure labour and strive to walk worthy of these thy rich and saving mercies with which thou hast and wilt for ever inrich my poor Soul with and save it 30. As a natural Father a Father in the flesh is and must be still a Father and a child a child so me thinks it is with God our Heavenly and Spiritual Father he having once begotten us and we are born again and are become his children by the Grace of Adoption Justification and Sanctification he must be still our Father and we his children unto Eternal Salvation Though we do many times as fleshly children not alwaies do the will of their Fathers in the flesh not please them alwaies not satisfie or delight them nor give them content yet notwithstanding they are still children nor they cannot cease to be children nor their Father to be their Father even so though we do not alwaies do
how high soever thou shalt raise me 194. Ah Lord God let my knowledge be that thou livest in me and I in thee that thou art mine and that I am thine 195. Ah Lord destroy the adversaries and enemies of my Salvation here which is thy shining manifesting and appearing in me unto me my knowledge of thee to be mine and I to be thine my dying to self to flesh and World to all that is not of thee and my living only to thee O God the God of my Salvation to thee to thee 196. My hereafter Salvation I know that none nor nothing can hinder me from I shall I know enjoy thee O God possesse thee behold thee know thee and see thee as thou art to be seen and known I say and am sure that nothing is able or shall hinder me from this blessednesse which thou hast prepared for me 197. Ah were it not for the enemies of our Salvation which are our own fleshly lusts and vile affections which fight and warr continually against thee O God our Salvation in us we should see know find and feel the same Salvation ever here as hereafter we should contemplate thy beautiful beauty and thy most glorious glory here even as in glory hereafter 198. Ah Lord God fight then on my behalf consume and destroy wirh an utter destruction all these my enemies which hinder here this my so great Salvation consume and make wast all their powers and deliver my poor Soul because I trust in thee and in thy great name which are thy faithful promises 199. As a Fountain gives freely without intermission or constraint but the natural power or fulnesse that forceth even so should we that live in God and possesse him and his fulnesse be alwaies giving and communicating of what we have And as a fountain that is stopped a while being hindred of continuing its largesse doth as it were during that space make or lay up provision to be more larger in its bounty even so me thinks should we be and do if for some time occasion or opportunity present not but we are as it were stopped from giving being unstopt that is occasion presenting it self to our charity we should shew forth by our grosse streams of largenesse in giving that the restraint of not having occasion was a constraint and against the supernatural now natural faculties of our Souls affections 200. If thus we were alwaies communicating and when we find not occasion so to do had in us alwaies a vehement earnest burning desire to give Ah how like should we be unto our good God and Heavenly Father who gives continually and is never weary nor repenteth Glory to God In Bourdeaux Ann. 1661. 1. The love of God is the best of Heaven the very glory in glory 2. The love of God makes all things lovely to all those that know that they are his beloved 3. Gods love is sweeter than the hony or the hony comb much more desired and to be desired more by much then all fine gold and the most pretious Pearls 4. Gods love is better then Wine to comfort the heart it is the fatnesse marrow and sweetnesse of Heaven that feeds feasts and solaceth the soul. 5. There is nothing in Heaven above to be compared to Gods love 6. And all things that are here below Ah how much below are they all to the love of God 7. He that hath or is in the love of God hath all God for God is all love 8. Ah Lord God love me then so that I may be filled with love to love thee as I should love thee to fear thee as I should fear thee to honour thee as I should honour thee and to obey thee as I should obey thee in all things in spirit soul and body by all my thoughts words and actions now henceforth and for ever more Amen 9. Ah Lord God how unspeakably great is thy love to all thy Children and Servants turning all things to their good even the very worst of things their sins 10. God sheweth his great love unto us how he loveth us by shedding abroad his love so in our hearts as we are made thereby to love him for naturally we love him not therefore did he not give us love to love him we would nor could never love him 11. Ah powerful love that makes of us haters to become true lovers to love him in very truth whom we hated truly 12. Yea those that have the love of God thus in their hearts love him so as it may be truly sayd of them that they love nothing else for they love him above their goods or good name above their Children above their Wives yea much more and above their very lives They can and easily do when called thereto give up all to him and for him his love doth constrain to love him again the heart is so in love with him finding him so lovely that it cryes out continually for more love that it may love him more for nothing comforts such souls as Gods love they make and account his love as himself and himself to be his love and being thus loved by him and living thus in his love they live in him and he in them which is the very life of their lives and the very bliss and Heaven of their Heaven 13. Such is the love of God unto us his Children that he swallows us up and houseth us in himself that we may be all his and he all ours that we may put him so on as be made like him and partake continually of him which is our Crown and glory yea our Crown in glory which will make us shine more beautiful and glorious then ten thousand Sons 14. Cause me O Lord God to declare what thou wilt have me to declare cause me to believe what thou wilt have me to believe cause me to know what thou wilt have me to know and inable me to do all that thou wilt have me to do that I may be filled with thee to live to thee and in thee to thine Eternal honour praise and glory so be it O Lord so be it Amen Amen 15. Goe forth O God go forth before me that I may follow thee where ever thou goest that thou wilt be unto me a light by night in the mid'st of my natural darknesse which is darker then the blackest night and be also unto me a fire by day in the mid'st of thine own light in me which is clearer and brighter then the brightest day that I may burn O God in the Sacred and Divine flames of saving knowledge and obedience unto my lives end 16. Instruct me O Lord in thine own Lawes and write them so upon my heart that I may never depart from them 17. Feast me and fil me O Lord so with thine own self that I may be all thine and thou all mine 18. It is the spirit of Christ or Christ in the Spirit which is perfect God living in us
Salvation thus given me wisdom and knowledge to know thee my God and Father and Jesus Christ whom thou hast sent thus caused me to believe and hereby made my joyes full to admiration adoration and astonishment On this glorious Mountain of Grace have I often desired to abide that I might continue to abide with thee to enjoy thee who only art full and perfect joy but I know that these changes shall and must come as Winter and Summer whilst we are here in the flesh but the time will come that thou wilt change us but once more and then we shall live with thee in thee and to rhee for ever and for ever Ah Love who can speak of it fitly or as he should it is thy Divine Nature O God it is thy self and therefore men nor Angels cannot declare it this three-fold Cord thy Love O most blessed and glorious Trinity cannot be broken and against it the gates of Hell shall never prevail Ah greatness that art good although thou hast in Heaven Millions of Millions of most glorious Creatures to look on and converse with yet notwithstanding such is thy profound humility and condescendence love and goodnesse that thou wilt and dost behold yea and delight too to behold and communicate unto us poor worms sinsul dust and ashes the richest choycest greatest and most peculiar treasures of thy grace and glory even of the very same though in a far less degree and measure as thou dost unto them that are with thee in Heaven thou givest us knowledge to know thee love to love thee joy to rejoyce in thee and rest to roul and rest our selves on thee they indeed eat and are filled drink deep and are resatiated see thy face and are altogether fatisfied But we indeed here do eat but the fragments or crums of their so Royal Feast and Banquet we do but sip of the cup of which they drink so deep and this to us is but at times but they are alwaies thus replenished and filled with the good things of thy House we indeed see thee O God but very darkly at the best sight of thee to their sight we know but in part at the highest pitch of our attainments here in the flesh and joy and rejoyce but at times the World Ah this wretched World and the things of the flesh as cloggs yea as Mountains of Earth pull us down to the Earth when our Souls are as on Eagles wings soaring up to Heaven and pull us back when we are as it were peeping into Heaven yea when O God thou dost as it were pull back the vail that we might see even into the Holy of Holies thus thou feedest and feastest us at times with the very bread the blessed with thee feed on and causest us to drink the Wine of the same Vintage and we in thy Son Jesus Christ see our selves clean undefiled without spot or wrinckle pardoned justified sanctified yea as if we were already glorified with thine own glory true they have their portion in hand in possession ours is by promise yet to receive but we have thy Word O God who art just true and unchangable and therefore we can and do rejoyce as well as they and with the same joy And thus O Christ my Saviour and Redeemer I know thou wilt present me unto thy Father even in thine own righteousness worthiness and obedience they shall all be imputed unto me as if they were mine own and in these thy glorious robes I am sure and certainly perswaded I shall find acceptance before God thy Father who will not be ashamed to own me for his own nor to be called my God and my Father I know and confess Ah my dear Redeemer that all my bliss and happiness present and future consists in being united unto thee and as having an interest and sure title to thy worchiness and obedience for in thee and in thee alone we are heirs of all mercies and blessings out of thee we are heirs of all miseries in thee we are children of the Father but out of thee children of the Devil in thee we shall be accepted and accounted worthy but out of thee rejected and esteemed unworthy in thee we shall pass for obedient even as if we had never transgrest nor sinned but out of thee we can be lookt on but as disobedient and transgressors of all thy most holy Laws and Divine Commandments in thee O Christ I say in thee we are fit for Heaven but out of thee only fit for Hell in thee O Christ in thee we are the Fathers delight but out of thee his hatred in thee O Christ in thee we have much boldness and free access to the Throne of Grace but out of thee only shame and confusion of face in thee O Son of Righteousness we are more resplendent glorious and beautiful than the Sun but out of thee Ah out of thee we are blackness ugliness and deformity in thee O thou the only all we have all things but out of thee we want all things Ah that thou wouldest give me more and more of thy self that I might give thee more of my self Ah that thou wouldest so live in me that I might only live to thee and for thee who art the life of my life yea much better than ten thousand lives Thus even thus thy blood O Christ speaketh good things to us and for our souls for whom thou hast dyed it opens Heavens gates unto us when it shuts them against others it appeaseth the Fathers wrath towards us when it causeth it to burn against others it procureth us all good when it preventeth all against others it maketh our peace So that we shall ever live in rest and peace with thy Father the God of Peace with thy self the Prince of Peace and with thy Holy Spirit the Spirit of Peace when to others it shall make Warr for ever and for ever Ah my dear Saviour send down I most humbly beseech thee thy Holy Spirit into my heart to sanctifie purifie and purge me from all dead works from the lust of the eie the lust of the flesh and the pride of life that I may live as thou didst live here in the flesh doing all the good was possible to be done from the highest of Grace to the very lowest of Nature that it may be no longer I that live but thee in me and that even whilst I live here in the flesh it may be by thy Faith and in thy Faith O Son of God who hast loved me and given thy self for me O Lord I believe increase I beseech thee my Faith that I may increase in strength grow in grace from one degree unto another that having finisht my Course here in thy fear I may die in thy favour and after this life ended live with thee and in thee in blisse and glory world without end Ah Lord God seeing I have taken upon me to speak be thou pleased to hear me and to continue to