by mutuall consent that they may the better giue themselues to prayer wherein notwithstanding they must consider what is expedient least by this long breaking off as it were from mariage they be stirred vp to incontinencie The second point which is that the husband should not bee bitter fierce or cruell vnto his wife which point is prooued by the sayd Apostle Collos 3.19 Anger in a husband is a vice saying Husbands loue your wiues and bee not bitter vnto them First and aboue all things the husband must bee circumspect to keepe the band of loue and beware that there neuer spring vp the roote of bitternes betwixt him and his wife If at any time there happen to arise any cause of vnkindnes betwixt them The roote of bitternesse to be weeded out with the spade of patience as it is vnpossible alwaies to bee free from it then he must be carefull to weede vp the same with all lenitie gentlenes and patience and neuer suffer himselfe nor his wife to sleepe in displeasure How when the husband ought to reproue Ephes 4.26 And if he shall haue occasion to speake sharply and sometimes to reproue he must beware that he do not the same in the presence of other but let him keepe hiâ— words vntill a conuenient time which is the point of a wise man and then vtter them in the spirit of meeknesse and in the spirit of perfect loue and he must not let sometimes to couer faults Faults sometimes must be couered with loue and winke at them if they be not too great and intollerable Whatsoeuer losse or mischance shall happen vnto him let him take it patiently and beare it cheerfully yea though the same should come partly through his wiues negligence yet let it rather bee a louing warning to take better heed in time to come then a cause of sorrow for that which is past and can not be holpen Euery wise man by his owne experience knoweth Not to take vnkindenesse for euery trifle that he is in this life subiect to manie inconueniences and that of nature he is prone to displeasure and readie to take vnkindnesse for euery trifle specially with his best friends yea soonest with his louing wife who is lothest to displease him Let him therefore beware of this cankered corruption and consider that hee ought most of all in loue to beare with his wife according to Christs example towards his Church who gaue himselfe for it that he might sanctifie it Fphes 5.25 26 27 28 29. and clense it by the washing of water through the word That he might make it vnto himselfe a glorious Church not hauing spot or wrinckle or any such thing but that it should be holy and without blame So ought men to loue their wiues as their owne bodies hee that loueth his wife loueth himselfe For no man yet euer hated his owne flesh but nourisheth and cherisheth it euen as the Lord doth the Church As if the Apostle had said The husband is to the wife in Gods stead The husbands dutie is to loue their wiues as themselues of which loue the loue of Christ toward his Church is a liuely paterne And because many husbands pretend the infirmities of their wiues to excuse their owne hardnesse and crueltie the Apostle willeth them to marke what maner of Church Christ gaue when he ioyned it to himselfe and how he doth not onely not lothe all her filth and vncleannesse but ceaseth not to wipe the same away with his cleannesse vntill he haue wholly purged it and made it holy And seeing that euery man loueth himselfe euen or nature therefore saith the Apostle the husband shall striue against nature if hee loue not his wife which hee proueth first by the mysticall knitting of Christ and the Church togither and then by the ordinance of God who saith that the husband and wife are one that is not to be diuided Husbands may not be rigorous towards their wiues especially when they be new married Prou. 20.3 The husband is alwaies to remember that hee bee not fierce rigorous hastie nor disordered with his wife for then there will neuer be vnitie and concord betwixt them If the wife do not learne to keepe silence and the husband to haue patience otherwise it shall rather bee the dwelling of fooles then the house of friends For where the husband wanteth wisedome tâ— gouerne and the wife patience to suffer they shal be forced it is to be feared in continuance of time to part house or else euery day to bee iarring and brauling The Wife is not to be vsed or intreated as a Handmaide or seruan◠〈◊〉 as a fellow Pro. 8.7 and 14 9. and 15.5 and 18.2 27.22 Pro. 9.1 9. and 19.25 Genes 16.6 Euery married man ought also to remember this that either his wife is wise and religious or else she is foolish and irreligious If he be matched with a wife that is sottish foolish and ignorant of God and his word it will little auaile or profit him to reprehend or chide her and if he be married to one that is wise and religious and knoweth her dutie out of Gods word then one sharpe and discreet word is sufficient because that if a woman be not corrected by that which is wisely and discreetly sayd she will neuer amend by that which is threatned VVhen the wife shall be inflamed with ire wrath malice or enuie the husband ought to suffer her and after the heate is somewhat cooled and the flame quenched then mildly to admonish her for if she once begin to lose her shamefastnesse in the presence of her husband then it is likelie that there will often follow braulings and quarels betwixt them And as the husband ought at all times to shun braulings and quarellings with his wife so much more he ought to auoide the same when they shall bee newly married For if at the beginning she shall haue cause to abhorre and hate him then late or neuer will â—â—e returne to loue him faithfully Therefore at the beginning of their mariage the wise and discreet husband ought to vse all good meanes to winne the good liking of his wife towards him for if then their loue be fixed and truly setled one toward the other The falling out of louers is the renewing of loue although afterwards they come to some household words and grudgings yet it proceedeth but of some new vnkindnes not of old rooted hatred therfore the sooner remedied For loue and hatred bee mortall enemies and the first of them that taketh place in the heart there it remaineth a dweller for the most part all the daies of life in such wise that the first loue may depart from the person but yet neuer forgotten at the heart But if the wife from the beginning of mariage doe take the heart to lothe and abhorre her husband then a miserable life will follow to them both For although
walke ioyntly with him vnder the conduct and gouernment of her head And in that respect the husband is not to commaund his wife in manner as the Master his seruant but as the soule doth the bodie as being conioyned in like affection good will For as the soule in gouerning the bodie tendeth to the benefite and commoditie of the same so ought the dominion and commandement of the husband ouer his wife to tende to reioyce and content her To conclude As God hath testified his singular goodnesse vnto man in creating him an helper to assist him so let him consider in how many sorts she is to him a helper to passe ouer this life in blessednesse And let this dayly seeking of such a benefite receiued at the hands of God induce and stirre him vp to render thanks and to dispose himselfe to vse it well to his owne comfort and saluation and not to abuse it to the destruction both of himselfe and his wife But if he chaunceth as many doe vpon troubles and afflictions in marriage let him remember that the same doe proceede not properly from marriage but from the corruptions of the parties married and for his parte let him studie to amende his infirmities and faults by amendment of life and withall pray to God to graunt the like grace vnto his wife to the ende that the more they recouer the Image of God the more feeling they may haue of the felicitie of Marriage which Adam and Eue had enioyed had they continued as they were created in the Image of God And the particular duties of the wife to the husband are principally these first that she bee a helper vnto him c. Secondly that she bee obedient vnto him c. These foure speciall duties are partly touched before and partly afterwards As loue matrimoniall is greatly allowed of God and much commended of all good men as an ordinate holie and godly loue so contrariwise hatred dissentiō strife debate vnquietnes and frowardnes in mariage highly displeaseth God and much grieueth al good and godly men And therefore the deuill the enemie of all vnitie concord and agreement laboureth by all meanes he can especially at the first comming of the maried folkes to dwell together to sow dissention discord and to cause them not to agree but to dislike one of the other against whom they must diligently watch by feruent and earnest prayer to God that the diuell preuaile not against them by such too early disagreement For as two boords at the first if they be not well coupled and ioyned together they neuer are fastned right afterward but if the first coupling and ioyning together bee good then can there afterward no violence driue the boords asunder yea the whole boord doth sooner breake then the glewing of them together euen so the husband and wife must bee verie carefull and diligent that their first cohabitation dwelling togither The best pollicie in marriage is to begin well belouing delectable and friendly and not separated through anie spightfull contention or discord so shall the whole estate of their mariage be more comfortable and prosper the better as long as they shal liue And though there happen to arise any sparke of discorde betwixt them yet let them beware that at the least there bee not too much displeasure disdaine and inconuenience kindled thereby For if at their first dwelling together there shall fall out such vntowardnesse and vncomely discorde then will it now and then bee breaking out euen as it fareth with great wounds and broken legges or armes which seldome are so throughly healed but sometimes they haue paine at the change of the weather So likewise if married folkes behaue themselues thus vntowardly and vnhonestlie the one towards the other at the first and if iars and discord be once begun betweene them the old canker of hatred will breed againe though it bee scaled afterward Let the one therefore learne betime to be acquainted with the nature and conditions of the other and to apply themselues according to the same in as much as they must needes dwell together one to enioy another and the one to liue and dye with the other and so stedfastly and vnfainedly to loue one the other that neither of them haue anie thing so deare which they cannot bee content to giue and bestow one vpon the other yea euen their owne life if need require And therefore husbands and wiues must euen at the beginning of their marriage giue their diligence that all iniuries and offences may be auoyded for tender and soft loue is soone dissolued and broken So that this new loue and coniunction of the minde must be nourished with benigne sweet gentle conuersation vntill it be so increased fastned that no great storme be able to dissolue or breake it And all suspition must be at all times but specially at the beginning of matrimonie eschued and shunned least they should first begin to hate or euer they begin to loue yea and they must beware they doe not faine any suspition nor conceiue it of any light occasions and coniectures for vnto such they in no wise must giue eare although there were some shew and great apparance of likelihood And this will bee a good meanes to effect and worke this namely if they accustome themselues to speake kindly louingly and cheerfullie one to the other For as the ancient Counsellors of king Salomon gaue wise aduise and counsell vnto Rehoboam king of Israel 1. King 12.7 8. c. to the end that hee might win the loue and good liking of the people Speake kindly vnto them said they and they will serue thee for euer after which counsell not being followed great inconuenience and mischiefe after befell vnto him c. Euen so likewise if the husband bee desirous to procure the loue of his wife and to winne her to God or if the wife be desirous and would also procure the loue of her husband and win him to God then they must draw on one another with sweet and gentle words of loue speaking kindly one to another Iudg. 19.3 Prou. 15.1 because gentle words do pacifie anger as water quencheth fire But if they shall vse taunts or words of reproach and despight one against another Gal. 5.9 much hurt then may ensue thereof for a little leauen sowreth the whole lumpe And therefore let them vse to giue one to the other their dutifull names and titles and to eschue and shun the contrarie For example like as the spightfull Iewes which hated the Lord Iesus would not vouchsafe to giue him his name when they talked of him or with him but to shew their vtter dislike of him they vsed to say Iohn 7.11.15.35 Is this he or art thou he that wilt doe such a thing Js not this he c. Againe Whither will he goe that we shall not finde him They would not say Is not this Iesus Christ or the Sonne of God
obedience in the hearts of their children as he framed the heart of Isaac with entire affection to embrace Rebeccah whom his father Abraham had by his steward prouided for him Gen. 22.7 c. The third poynt that appertaineth to pareÌ„ts The third poynt Examples doe much more perswade then words yet we must liue by precepts and not by examples is to be themselues examples of al godlinesse vertuousnesse to their childreÌ„ So that they must remember that they theÌ„selues do not say or do anything that is euil or offensiue in the presence of their children For it is certaine that children follow learne nothing so much and so soone as that which they see their father mother do or say For the vertue thriuing and prosperitie of children are for the most part wrought by the fathers and mothers good example and instructions and so contrariwise For that which is done by example the inferiours will think they may lawfully doe the like As good examples doe edifie and vphold so ill examples doe destroy and confound For humanitie is taught by the law of Nature If therefore Parents by their example should teach the contrary what do they else but indeuour to transforme meÌ„ into beasts beginning first to performe it in their own children They must be circumspect that their children do not fight and iniurie one another and if they sweare curse lye or speake any bawdie or ribaldous words or sing any filthie rymes or vnchristian songs theÌ„ to reprooue them sharply for it And let Parents alway labour that their children may rather feare them for loue and reuerence then for feare of punishment For children that obey their Parents for feare of correction such commonly feare them no longer then the stripes endureth As the father beginneth so it is like the sonne wil proceed Before all things it is needfull that Parents should shew themselues vnto their children as a manifest patterne or example not only by not sinning and offending God any waies but also by liuing godly and by doing all things honestly that so their children may looke into their liues peruse themselues as in a glasse And therefore if Parents do giue good examples Gal. 6.7 they shall reape the fruit thereof on the life behauiour manners and prosperitie of their children For children loue and delight to do as their Parents did before them All christian fathers ought to be very careful in nourishing and maintaining naturall loue and concord amongst the children and familie and in no wise to suffer any sparke of hatred to enter into their harts Math. 18.7 least it kindle a fire in their breast much lesse ought they themselues to cast in coales of discord among them by vnkinde or iniurious examples of dealing For the state of a familie if it be in due order is like to a frame of ioyning worke or building whereof if some one peece be out of his place it tendeth to a disordering of all the rest and one disorder following another all bee commeth out of ioynt and falleth vnto confusion very dispraisable So that Parents therefore ought to be carefull to maintaine their children in peace concord and amitie For if discord and contention be daungerous and pernitious among al men how much rather betweene brethren and sisters Likewise if it be hard quenching of stomacke and debate betweene those that are not conioyned in kindred it is farre more difficult to reunite bretheren because enmitie among theÌ„ is mightie and strong like Iron barres to keepe them asunder Neyther is there any thing more slipperie or of greater efficacie to subuert a familie then dissention among brethren It is an olde saying by concord small things do growe but by discord great things come to nought Againe how daungerous it is for Parents to shew more loue and affection to one childe theÌ„ to another except vppon iust and great cause the example of Iacobs children doth testifie For what was the originall of their enuie and crueltie executed against their brother Ioseph Genes 37.3 Moses there saith that Iacob louing Ioseph better then his brethren made him a partie coloured coate and thereof they tooke occasion to take him and to speake roughlie vnto him Parents therefore to the end to preuent like inconueniences are to vse equalitie among their children so neere as may bee whether in their ordinarie vsage or in the diuision of their goods For all men naturally are inclined but too much to the loue of earthly goods so the vnequall sharing and diuiding of the same doth oftentimes breed great braules pernitious debate betweene brethren and sisters Therefore all fathers and mothers are with great diligence to take heed what they say or do in their houses and that they doe not commit any lewde or wicked deed whereby their children may bee moued to imitate and follow the same neither that they vtter or speake any bawdy or ribaldous words or vse to sweare or lye in their presence for euill speakings or coÌ„munication saith the Apostle corrupteth good maners 1. Cor. 15.33 Seruants also are to be looked vnto and sharply rebuked if they doe commit or shew any lewd tricke or vnhonest behauiour in the presence of children eyther in word deed or gesture For iustly bee they called murtherers that kill their children being new borne and kill but the bodie How great wickednesse is it then to kill the mindes of children through euill examples Deserue not such seruants seuerely to bee punished by law thinke you that bewitch young children or hurt their weake bodies with poisons What then do they deserue which corrupt the chiefe parts of Infants with most vngratious venome we meane by filthie talke and lewâ—e conuersation of life yet it is a lighter matter to kill the body then the minde and soule Further Parents ought to bee circumspect and warie that their children doe not haunt or vse euill company or vse any vnhonest pastime For if it bee so that a father will not suffer his childe to come into a place where he may be in daunger to take hurt of his body eyther by infection of the plague or otherwise how much more is hee bound to with holde and keepe his childe from comming there where hee should hurt and poyson his soule The last poynt Gen. 3.19 Ezech. 16.49 Pro. 12 11. and 18.9 1. Tim. 5.13 2. Thes 3.10.11 The fourth and last poynt is that all Parents doe with all care and diligence keepe their children from lazie Idlenesse a vice no doubt out of which doe spring many inconueniences And is condemned by the holy Ghost in many places of scripture whereby God declareth that hee created no man in vaine or to no purpose neither is there any man vnto whoÌ„ he hath not alotted as it were a certaine standing roome and a lawful calling to walke in Wherupon it followeth that the order which God hath appoynted is troubled by such as liue idely yea
or mistaking ouersight and desire to please in one thing maketh inferiours to offend in others Except there bee contempt or willing negligence or retchlesse ouersight a gentle admonition may serue And indeede Superiours must take heede of comming to the greatest remedies of correctiō too soone for so they may soone marre the partie by ouer-sharpe dealing which by a wise proceeding by degrees might haue been gained Furthermore Gouernours must know yet more expresly what to correct Some neuer correct but for their owne matters neuer regarding the faults committed against God But the godly Gouernour that aimeth at Gods glorie and seeketh the Lord and not himselfe he is most grieued for disorders in his familie that tend to Gods dishonour and such he correcteth most carefully And as for defaults of his familie that are against himselfe he looketh more to Gods dishonour by them then to his owne hurt or losse in zeale of God is drawne to correct and not of selfe-loue He therefore counteth these things worthie of correction if any delight in the ignorance of God bee careles to approue himselfe as one that wholly dependeth on him loueth him feareth him reuerenceth him laboureth to approue al his waies before him If any be giuen to Idolatrie and superstition and careth not in euery part for the worship of God to follow his reuealed wil or if in the parts commanded he appeare negligent and colde or to put them to any other vse then is commanded or to be giuen to images superstitious monuments customes occasions or such like if any dishonor the name of God either in the vnreuerent vsing or abusing or peruerting and not vsing with that preparatiō before feeling at the present time and fruit after which is prescribed his titles word Sacraments workes And if any prophane his Sabboth by vaine pastimes and gaming as Cards Dice dancing c. going to playes or giue not himselfe to the exercises appointed on that day out of the word If any neglect speciall duties towards their equals superiour or inferiour in yeares gifts authoritie as Magistrates Ministers Masters Parents seruants children or people If any declare not a conscience to flie euill anger malice contētion quarelling fighting or any hurting of the person of man either in soule or bodie not being carefull to succour the same according to his calling If any bee found vnchaste in bodie words countenance or gesture vntemperate in diet in apparell dissolute not caring to maintaine the contrarie holinesse in himselfe and others If any care not for the goods of another man but by falsehood flatterie and oppression diminish the same If he bee negligent in increasing of his owne by honest and lawful meanes If he mispend it in Cards Dice gaming c. If any care not to maintaine the good names of others but be giuen to vnnecessarie blasing of other mens infirmities by lying slaundering backbyting taunting If any shew himselfe carelesse to restraine the motions and entisements vnto sin and the lusts of the same then they shall vse the meanes following to redresse them The maner of correcting must likewise bee looked vnto for to faile in that maketh correction hurtfull oftentimes but alwaies vnauaileable For this point then wee must know that correction must be Ministred in Wisedome Ministred in Patience fit Ephe. 5.15.16.17 Wisedome is that by which wee obserue comelinesse in euery action that is to say by which we obserue what we doe how in what place at what time before whom that al things may be done in a conuenient place time and maner Wisedome will 1. Finde out the right partie that committed the fault that he that is innocent be not vniustly burthened 2. Consider of what sorte and nature the fault is 3. Weigh circumstances of ages discretion occasions that moued the party whether it be customarie or a slip by ouersight 4. Looke to the mind of the doer whether negligēce frowardnes or simplicitie and want of wisedom brought him to it And according to these things wisedome wil teach a man to measure out correction or to be sparing in it Besides wisedome will not correct before the fault be euident or that she be able to winde the offender out of all shifting holes For when the offender is not throughly cōuinced he shifteth off the shame of the fault and of the correction which is a part of the purgation to cure his disease and besides he will bee bold to open his mouth against his Ruler and seek to bring him into hatred or contempt with the rest of the inferiours for correcting vniustly Wisedome therefore will winke at a fault a while make as though she saw it not that she may haue a fitter oportunitie to correct yea towards some of a good nature wisedome will shew that she seeth a fault but yet for loue of the partie and desire to haue him amend of his owne accord she will passe ouer the euill Moreouer wisedome will neuer reproach the offender by reuiling or taūting him with the fault but minister correction in loue and desire to haue his sore cured and his credit salued For the casting of faults in their teeth and disgracing them especially before others which is common in the world maketh them lay off shame of offending by little and little whereas if they saw thee carefull of their credit they would haue more regard to it themselues Lastly wisedome will auoide partialitie and deale with all in the same case after the same maner Patience is also needfull that through anger or hastines a man do not fight nor chide Patience is a stedfastnesse in suffering the euils that come to vs by any worke so that they can not discourage vs. Phil. 4.5 before hee hath made the fault manifest to the offender that if it may be his conscience may be touched for it Againe by patience one must heare what the offender can say in his defence and not disdaine to heare him modestly alleadging for himselfe and when his defence is made by equity to allow or disallow the same So did Iob chap. 13. verse 13. and Balaam did not disdaine to heare the defence of his beast Numb 22.30 c. This patience also will keepe a man from bitternesse which might sooner make the partie angry then draw him to amendmēt which thing the Apostle would haue auoyded in superiours Coloss 2.21 Ephes 6.4.9 towards those that bee vnder them For want of this many are at a word and a blow many first correct and then tell the fault many lay on loade or raile and reuile braule and scolde without measure Lastly this patience will keepe thee from anger a needfull thing in a correcter for hee that commeth to reforme with anger shall hardlie keepe a measure in rebuking or chastising Now for the seuerall kinds of correction the first is Rebuking which is a sharpe reproofe for a fault committed measured according to the nature of the fault as Iacob Genesis 30.2
Job 2.10 Our Sauiour Christ to Peter Mat. 16. vers 23. and to Iames and Iohn Luk. 9. vers 55. Elie 1. Sam. 2.23 c. rebuked his sonnes but not according to the qualitie of their fault which turned to his and their ruine The profit of this wisely done is declared by Salomon Prouer. 23.15 The rod and rebuke giue wisedome but the child let alone shameth his mother This reproofe may haue some threatning of chastisement ioyned with it if need bee to the end to make it sincke the deeper with them Pro. 19.19 Be thou very angry when thou pardonest a fault saying that thou for sparing him now wilt punish him the sorer if he transgresse againe But threatnings must not bee vaine words without effect but alwaies if amendement follow not thou must performe what was threatned least thou become light and vaine in the offenders eyes Chastisement is when with a sharpe rebuke punishment is also laid vpon the offender according to discretion If any man thinke fighting vnmeet for Christians or be loth to foile their hands least they should get themselues an ill name let them know that Gods ordinance is not a matter of an ill report but onely amongst fooles that know not what is good and meete Now that household chastisement is agreeable to Gods will is euident out of the Prouerbs where the wisedome of God doth very often commend it to vs as chap. 13.24 He that spareth the rod hateth his sonne but he that loueth him chasteneth him betime Where he requireth that it be not deferred till it be too late that is till the offender be hardened in ill but giuen in time before he be past recouerie He saith it is a fruit of true and pure loue to correct in due time and very loue in parents and care of their chidren must draw them to it Thirdly he saith Parents neuer knew what true loue of children ment but imbrace fondnesse and foolish pitie in stead of it who doe spare to correct when correction is deserued Fourthly that this fondnesse and foolish affection is indeede hatred and not loue the reason why it is to bee counted hatred is set downe Prou. 19.18 Chastise thy sonne while there is hope and let not thy soule spare him to his destruction Where hee plainly saith that fond pittying and sparing of childrē is to work the destruction of them and is it not a token of great hatred to be a meanes of anothers destruction Elsewhere he sheweth the necessitie of correction and the good which it doth Pro. 22.15 Foolishnes is bound in the heart of a childe but the rod of correction shall remoue it farre from him As if he should say much follie and lewdnes is couched in a childs heart which if it be not purged will burst foorth into foule enormities and therefore a purgation is but needfull and what may that be but the rod of correction The same is commanded Pro. 29.17 Correct thy sonne where also he sheweth what benefit commeth thereby to the parents He shall giue thee rest yea he will giue pleasures to thy soule that is thou shalt bee free from sorrow heauines and many troubles which many parents haue with vngracious children and on the other side thou shalt haue much comfort and delight by them Great benefit also commeth thereby to the children as he sheweth in the 15. verse The rod and correction giue wisedome And chap. 23.13.14 whereas the neglect of it bringeth hurt to the child and to the parents as followeth A childe set at libertie maketh his mother ashamed And for seruants the Wiseman doth closely shew how they must be dealt with all where he saith Pro. 29.21 He which bringeth vp his seruant delicately from his youth at length will be depriued of his children And a little before verse 19. he saith A seruant wil not be chastised with words though he vnderstand yet he will not answere or regard These Scriptures shew that God hath put the rod of correction in the hands of the Gouernours of the familie by punishment to saue them from destruction which if the bridle were let loose vnto them they would runne vnto Where men and women are content to goe contrarie to their owne nature and to vndergo ill reports to obey the ordinance of God there God will giue a blessing that is a well ordered familie wherein all shall be of good hope The wiues dutie touching christian holinesse These bee the duties that the chiefe of the familie oweth to them of his familie within doores as touching godlinesse The wife also which is a fellowe-helper To be a fellow helper is to yeeld helpe to her husband especiall at home in al the matters o◠the familie 1. Tim. 5.15 Tit. 2.5 Gen. 18.67.1 hath some things belonging to her to further godlinesse in her familie as for example In her selfe to giue example to her Household of all readie submission to all good and christian orders to order her Household affaires so carefully that no exercise of religion bee hindered or put out of place at such time as they should bee done And in her husbands absence to see good orders obserued as he hath appointed to watch ouer the manners and behauiour of such as bee in her house and to helpe her husband in spying out euils that are breeding that by his wisedome they be preuented or cured Salomon saith of the vertuous woman that she ouerseeth the waies of her household Pro. 31.27 verse 26. And a little before she openeth her mouth with wisedome and the Law of grace is in her tongue And S. Paul requireth that wiues specially the elder bee teachers of good things and to instruct the younger They may also do much good in framing the tender yeares of their children vnto good while they bee vnder their hands for euen as a childe cockered and made a wanton by the mother wil be more vntractable when the father shal seeke to bend him to good so on the other side a child wisely trained vp by the mother in the young yeares will bee the easilier brought to goodnesse by the Fathers godly care We reade that Timothie was made acquainted with the scripture frō a little child by means of his godly Mother Grandmother a good patterne for christians And marke the proofe God recompēced their godly care exceedingly for Timothie proued a rare young man of excellent graces to the great ioy and comfort of his Parents Shee may also poure good licour in to their tender vessels the sauour whereof shall sticke in them a long while after I meane they may sowe in their mindes the seedes of religion and godlinesse These and such like duties if the wife performe constantly she shall bring no smal helpe to her husband for the godlie and religious ordering of his house And thus much of that part of household gouernment which concerneth godlinesse Now of the other part The 2. thing whereat houshold gouernment aymeth
it maketh thee lauish in spending or else it is no good-fellowship as they say by meanes therof thou shalt feede the gluttons and spend that vppon others which belongeth to thine owne familie which Salomon saith Pro. 28.7 Is a shame to thy father Thy companie keeping hath many other enormities Hee that toucheth pitch shall be defiled therewith And as hee is a partie with them in their euils so shall he bee also in their punishment Pro. 13.20 The companioÌ„ of fooles shall be afflicted Wherfore auoide such and rather follow the wise Pro. 11.13.32 He that walketh with the wise shall be wise who are they euen they that haue the lippes of knowledge whose words teach good things But such whose talke is nothing but froth their words vnsauerie and bring no good to the hearer though there be no outward euill in their liues yet they must not be admitted for companions further then vpon some vrgent occasion thou must deale with them Pro. 14.7 Depart from the foolish man when thou perceiuest not in him the lips of knowledge As to haue a faithfull friend is a matter auailable to thrift so by his friends a man may bee endammaged There is a friendship which is very costly and chargeable to maintaine Hee that desireth familiaritie with great men must haue other things suteable as costly apparell well trimmed houses often inuitings to bankets to recompence their kindnes he must follow their humours and not stick to neglect his affaires to haue their companie when he may This will cost a man sweetly but what shall he gaine A friendly countenance before his face and perhaps a drie flout behind his backe especially if things goe not well with him for the world then oh it is pitie a frank-hearted man no bodies foe but his owne and such like Saloâ—on giueth thee warning of this kinde of friendship Pro. 23.1 2 3. There is another mans friendship which Salomon would haue thee to auoide as hurtfull vnto thee Pro. 22.24 Prou. 18.19 Make no friendship with an angrie man neither goe with the furious The cholerick man though neuer so good a fellow while he â—s pleased yet is soone turned to hate thee And no heauier foe then hee that was a friend which Salomon declareth Vers 20. A brother offended is harder to winne then a strong citie and their contentioâ—s are like the barre of a pallace If a man could alwaies keepe in with the angrie man which cannot bee done without putting vp many iniuries yet may that bee hurtfull For the Wiseman addeth Lâ—â—st thou learne his waies that is become like to him in furiousnes And that is as hurtfull on the other side for the furious man aboundeth in transgressions Prou. 29.25 which doe often cost him the setting on euen from men who being by his rage hurt or reproached doe watch their occasions to worke him some woe Whereupon we say in a common prouerb The angrie man neuer wanteth woe There bee also Trencher-friends who to winne fauour and good-will will smooth it in words fawne and glauer they will say as you say and bring you tales of your enemie so to feede your humour that he may winde within you a beast that biteth sorest of al tame beasts For while a simple-hearted man suspecteth no hurt he watcheth his occasions to speede himselfe of a bootie a matter that by the counsell of the holy Ghost oft repeated in the Prouerbs is as carefully to be auoided as it is hurtfull to a mans estate If he can do none of these yet hee hath not lost his labour for he had many a good welcome for his faire talke And by often resorting to thy house he hath furnished himselfe with some thing to discredite thee except thou hast walked marueilous warily which a man can hardly doe before flatterers To end this matter of friendship haue some neere friends but not many Choose the best natured and the best graced that is such as besides single-hartednes and plaine simplicitie are by grace brought to haue coÌ„science of their dealing And least vnder a shew of simplicitie wilinesse should bee hid trie before you trust and grow into familiaritie not all at a push but by steps Tell things of no great secrecie as secrets to trie their taciturnitie Be not ouer credulous vpon sight of a little kindnesse to account them amongst thy neerest friends Many haue been wiped of their commodities by falsehood in felloâ—ship Some haue been betraied by vntrustie friends and brought into great troubles Many opening their mindes to bâ—â—bs that can keepe nothing haue their purposes openly knowne and scanned before they can compasse them and so are oftentimes preuented through the malice of their enuiers Wherefore except a man can finde a faithfull friend indeede it is good to remember the olde saying My secrets to my selfe Whereto our common prouerbe answereth Two may keepe counsell if one bee away The Wiseman ascribeth it to follie to powre out a mans secrets lightlie The foole powreth out all his minde Pro. 29.11 but the wise man keepeth it in As hurt commeth by some friends so also by enemies many are sore annoyed What charges in lawing and other troubles bee there in the world through enmitie VVherefore it is good wisedome by all good meanes to auoide breaches which breede enmitie and by all friendlie iust and wise dealing to keepe peace and good-will euen with the meanest The weakest enemie is not to bee contemned It shall goe harde but at one time or other hee will worke thee some displeasure at least his mouth shall alwaies bee open to speake ill to misconster thy actions and to blaze abroad thy infirmities scapes Hee that would haue no enemies must make himselfe none by vniust vnkinde or vnneighbourlie dealing but rather by courteousnes of speech helpfulnes and good neighbourhood to winne the loue and liking of men yet a man may be too wise in this point Many being loth to incurre any mans displeasure will not seeke to vpholde right and equitie speake for the poore stand out to maintaine Gods cause wheÌ„ he is dishonoured by open sinne as swearing lying rayling and such like Many to keepe in withall vse all companies alike for auoyding a mans companie breedeth a grudge But the good will of men is neuer to be purchased with forsaking of dutie Such things as may iustly be ill taken auoide for peace sake Whereof the Wiseman noteth some as medling in other mens matters Prou. 26.17 He that medleth with a strife that belongeth not to him is as he that taketh a dogge by the eares that is casteth himselfe into dangers Prou. 29.9.10 2. Be not hastie to go to law no not in a right cause but agree at home For besides that a man doth seldome scape without great losse in which respect it is also to bee auoided as an enemie to thrift thy neighbour is openly put to reproach becommeth thy mortall enemie and will
willeth the matrimoniall imbracements to be chast the bed to be vndefiled and their progeny vnspotted it is after the mind of S. Paul Ephes 5.25.26 27. a signe of the great mystery wherewith Christ doth indissolubly vnite himselfe vnto his Church Therefore thou oughtest so much as shall lie in thee to lift vp thy mind and to remember how great and worthy an image thou doest represent and that thy wife shall be vnto thee as the Church and thou vnto her as Christ therfore thou shouldest shew thy selfe vnto her as Christ shewed himselfe vnto his church The loue of Christ vnto his church is incredible and thy loue also to thy wife ought to be most effectuall Societie and to liue togither is the most surest and strongest knot to knit ioyne amitie loue among men al other beasts There can be no greater societie or companie then is between a man his wife whose house whose goods whose chamber c. is common their children are common they themselues partakers of all good euill successe of prosperity and aduersity the which societie and fellowship were sufficient to stir prouoke him that loueth not his wife to loue and beneuolence And what company or loue shall a man looke to haue of him that loueth not his wife There are that in loue and amitie looke for gaine as the vile Epicures do vnworthy to be beloued men which loue themselues not their friends And if we haue a regard vnto commoditie and profit there is nothing that giueth so much as doth a good wife no not horses oxen seruants or farmers for a mans wife is the fellowe and comforter of all cares and thoughts and doth more faithfull and true seruice vnto him then either maid-seruant or man-seruant the which doe serue men for feare or else for wages but thy wife will be ledde onely by loue and therefore shee doth euery thing better then all other And this doth God declare saying Let vs make Adam a helper like vnto himselfe By the Helper is signified the vtilitie and profit of the seruice and by the similitude and likenesse is signified loue For a seruant and hee that is hired are farre vnlike the master and are taken well nigh for no men A seruaunt in the stead and place of an horse or of an oxe the which must bee beaten and inforced to their worke doth serue his master A hired seruant is in the place of an hired horse for whē the hire is paid the societie fellowship dissolueth The child is part of the father and through a naturall pitie they loue each other but yet the wife is more annexed and ioyned to her husband The father doth labour and taketh paine for his children but the childten seldome labour or take paynes for their fathers and oftentimes are sent to inhabite and dwell in other mens houses whereby in a manner it appeareth that their straight and fast societie doth dissolue and breake But the wife cleane contrary doth continually take paines for her husband who may neither as long as she liueth change house nor bed If commoditie and profit be looked for no commoditie excelleth this if thou shalt loue thy wife thou shalt liue most pleasantly if not thy life will be most miserable wretched For there is nothing so sharpe nor so bitter as to hate the thing that doth fauour and loue thee nor nothing more happy as to loue him that hateth thee Therefore loue that thou mayest be loued Now we will in few words shew the occasions of wedlocke why and wherefore it was ordeyned and for what purpose it should bee contracted that euery man and woman may the better vnderstand to what thing they consent when eyther of them graunteth to marrie the other Doubtlesse it cannot otherwise be but that marriage which was ordeined of such an excellent author as of GOD himselfe in such a worthy place as Paradise and of such an auncient time as in the state of Adams and Eues innocencie and after such a notable order but that it must likewise haue speciall causes for the ordinance of it Therefore the holy Scripture doth declare chiefely three causes thereof The first is the procreation begetting Three causes of marriage bringing vp of children Gen. 1.27 28. 9.1 For in the children do the parents liue after a sort euen after death And if they be well and vertuously brought vp God is greatly honoured by them the common wealth is aduanced yea their parents and all other fare the better for them For they are their parents comfort next vnto God their ioy staffe and vpholding of their age and therefore Parents ought to beginne betimes to plant vertue in their childrens breastes for late sowing bringeth a late or neuer an apt haruest young branches will bow as a man will haue them But olde trees will sooner breake then bow c. But more of this shall be said after in the dutie of parents Although mariage be a holy and sanctified ordinance yet none may vse the benefite of it Psal 51.5 without some acknowledgement of originall sinne in that adulterie and whoredome are wrought by this meanes albeit this is not imputed to the children of God who vse this meanes with as much chastitie as may be and so long as the husband and wife do keepe themselues togither in the feare of God and in all modestie and sobrietie If then in mariage it selfe there is such mischiefes what hellish mischiefe is there in those lustes which are not sanctified without these considerations So that marriage is not a mad and dissolute estate neither are husbandes to turne their wiues into whores or wiues their husbands into whoremasters by immoderate intemperate or excessiue lust Many thinke they cannot sinne in this behalfe if they passe not their owne wiues but they may make their marriage polluted defiled if they vse it without prayer and sobernesse c. 1. Thess 4.4.5 Therefore the husband is to forbeare the company of his wife when it is with her as it is common to women c. Ezechiel 18.6 Leuiticus 18.19.24.27.29 and 29.18 This was one of the sinnes for which the Lord rooted out the Cananites out of their land The 1. cause The second occasion why Marriage was ordeined was that the wife might bee a lawfull remedie to auoid whoredome Wedlocke lawfull for such as haue not the gift of chastitie fornication and all filthie vncleane lusts 1. Cor. 7.2.3 c. Touching this point I will say no more for it is handled at large by others alreadie and I haue elsewhere sufficiently discoursed of it The 3 cause The third and last cause was for mans commoditie to the end to auoid the inconuenience of solitarinesse that the one may helpe comfort the other Gen. 2.18 in sicknesse in affliction and in all household cares and troubles as education of children and keeping the familie in order
For this cause olde men and olde women may lawfully marrie So that a wife is called by GOD himselfe an Helper Rom. 7.23 1. Cor. 7.8 9 39. 1. Tim. 5.14 and not an impediment or a necessarie euill as some vnaduisedly doe say And as other some say It is better to burie a wife then to marrie one Againe if wee could be without women wee should bee without great troubles These and such like sayings This is often found most true that such as are contemners of mariage are most offenders against marriage and liue most vnchastly tending to the dispraise of women some maliciously and vndiscreetly doe vomit out contrary to the mind of the holy Ghost who saith that she was ordeined as a Helper and not a hinderer And if they bee otherwise it is for the most parte through the fault and want of discretion and lacke of good gouernment in the husband For married folkes for two eyes haue foure and for two hands as many moe which being ioyned togither they may the more easily dispatch their handy busines houshold affaires For like as a man hauing one hande or one foote if by any meanes hee get himselfe an other may thereby the more easily lay holde on what he listeth or goe whither he will euen so hee that hath married a wife shall more easily enioy the healthfull pleasures and profitable coÌ„modities of this present life For in trouble the one is a comfort to the other in aduersitie the one a refreshing vnto the other yea and in all their life the one is a helpe and succour to the other Most true it is that women are as men are reasonable creatures and haue flexible wittes both to good and euill the which with vse discretion and good counsell may be altered and turned And although there be some euill and lewde women yet that doth no more prooue the malice of their nature then of men and therefore the more ridiculous and foolish are they that haue inueighed against the whole sexe for a few euill and haue not with like furie vituperated and dispraised all mankind because part of them are theeues murtherers and such like wicked liuers But the marriage and company of the husband and wife is made amiable sweete and comfortable by these fiue meanes by godlinesse vertue mutuall forbearing mutuall loue and by dutifulnesse performed busily and godly on both sides 1. Godlinesse of right holdeth the chiefe place For there is no stable steadfast friendship vnlesse it haue his beginning from God and therefore must godlinesse needes shine before the rest For when couples haue determined to obey God all things afterward become more easie 2. Vertue and honest conditions breede mutuall delight betweene man and wife For when vertue is exercised it maketh conuersation of liuing more amiable 3. Mutuall forbearing whereby we take in good worth one anothers conditions faults is very needfull For in this weaknesse of nature there happen many scapes which will breede strife if they be not couered by mutuall forbearing 4. Mutuall loue hauing his beginning of godlinesse and true vertue maketh the husband and wife not to be too sharpe sighted in spying into one anothers faults but that many things either they marke not or if they marke them they couer them with loue For Loue couereth the multitude of sinnes 1. Pet. 4.8 Prou. 10.12 5. Dutie performed godlily carefully and cheerfully on both sides maketh the mariage-yoke light and sweete For when man and wife marke one another and finde like heedfulnesse and buxamnes in their dutie both their companie is made more pleasant and they are the more stirred vp on both sides to render dutifulnes that the one may requite the other alike Where these fiue duties bee not the companie of their life is both lothsome and bitter or rather more sharpe then death Therefore the godly couples must doe their endeuour that these vertues may be seene in their life continually for euer Now wee will through God his assistance say something concerning the three seuerall points contained in this dutie and mentioned in the beginning hereof and so end this dutie 1. The first whereof is That the husband must liue with his wife according to knowledge This point of doctrine is most plainlie proued by the Apostle Peter where he saith Ye husbands dwell with your wiues 1. Pet. 3.7 as meÌ„ of knowledge giuing honour vnto the woman as vnto the weaker vessell By honor is meant that the Husband ought to sustaine and relieue the wants of his wife to support vphâ—ld and beare with her infirmities as the weaker vessell euen as they which are heires together of the grace of life that your prayers be not interrupted Whereby hee teacheth the husband his dutie to wit that the more vnderstanding and wisedome God hath indued him with the more wisely and circumspectly hee ought to behaue himselfe in bearing those discommodities which through his wiues weakenes oftentimes cause some iarre and dislike one to the other Neuerthelesse though she be by nature weaker then he yet she is an excellent instrument for him made to farre more excellent vses whereupon it followeth thaâ— she is not therefore to bee neglected because shee is weake but on the contrarie part shee ought to be so much the more cared for Like as a vessell the weaker it is the more it is to bee fauoured and spared if we will haue it to continue euen so a wife because of her infirmities is so much the more to be borne withall of her husband 1. Pet. 3.7 And for so much as the husband and wife are equall in that which is the chiefest that is to say if that gracious and free benefit whereby they haue euerlasting life giuen them which otherwise are vnequall as touching the gouernance and conuersation at home and therefore she is not to bee despised although she be weake And besides Besides the praiers had with their familie they must pray priuately Gene. 25.21 1. Cor. 7.3 4 5 all braulings and chidings must be eschued and cast away because they hinder praiers and the whole seruice of God whereunto both the husband and the wife are equally called Also for more câ—onfirmation of this point the Apostle Paule likewise sayth Let the husband giue vnto the wife due beneuolence and likewise also the wife vnto the husband The wife hath not power of her owne bodie but the husband and likewise also the husband hath not the power of his owne bodie but the wife Defraude not one another except it bee with consent for a time that yee may giue your selues to fasting and prayer and againe come together that Sathan tempt you not for your incontinencie VVhich is as if the Apostle should say The parties married must with singular affection entirelie loue one the other for that they are each in others power as touching the bodie so that they may not defraud one another except the one abstaine from the other
the husband shall haue power to his wife to feare and obey him yet hee shall neuer haue strength to force her to loue him Some husbands doe boast themselues to be serued feared and obeyed in their houses because the wife that abhorreth doth feare and serue her husband but she that indeede liketh doth loue him and cherish him As the wife ought with great care to endeuour by all good meanes to labour to bee in fauour and grace with her husband so likewise the husbanâ— ought to feare to bee in disgrace and disliking with his wife for if she doe once determine to fixe and settle her eyes and liking vpon another then many inconueniences will ensue and follow The husband ought not to bee satisfied that he hath robd his wife of her virginitie but in that he hath possession and vse of her will for it sufficeth not that they be married but that they be well maâ—ried and liue christianly together and very well contented And therfore the husband that is not beloued of his wife holdeth his goods in danger his house in suspition his credit in ballance and also sometime his life in perill because it is easie to beleeue that she desireth not long life vnto her husband with whom she passeth a time so tedious and irksome And if any vnkindnes or displeasure should happen to be at any time betwixt the husband and his wife yet neither of them ought to impart or to make it knowne vnto any one of their neighbours for if they bee such as wish them euill they will reioyce at it and if they bee such as wish them well then they minister matter whereof to talke That husband that is matched and doth encounter with a wife that is a dizard a foole That man is miserable that is married vnto a foolish woman a babler light of behauiour a glutton a chider slothfull a gadder abroad vntractable iealous or dissolute c. it were better for him to be a slaue to some honest man then a husband to such a wife The best rule that a man may hold and practise with his wife to guard and gouerne her is to admonish her often and to giue her good instructions to reprehend her seldome neuer to lay violent hands on her but if she be good and dutifull to fauour her to the end she may continue so and if she be shrewish and wayward mildly to suffer her to the ende that shee waxe not worse But some husbands bee of so sowre a nature and so vnpleasant in their behauiour that they can hardly bee loued no not of their wiues their countenance is so lowring their companie so currish that they seeme angrie euen when they bee best pleased they can not speake faire scarce will they laugh when their wiues laugh vpon them a man would say they were borne in an angrie houre Husbands must prouide things necessarie for the house A mans house will continue by prouision before hand and by order in his expences Rom. 12.17 1. Tim. 5.8 But where disorder is in a house it cannot endure This is also a dutie not to bee forgotten namely that husbands be diligent and carefull to make prouision for their houses to clothe their wiues decently to bring vp their children vertuously and to pay their seruants dulie because that in voluntarie matters men may bee negligent but the necessities of their house doe neither suffer negligence or forgetfulnes The dutie of the husband is to get goods and of the wife to gather them together and saue them The dutie of the husband is to trauell abroad to seeke liuing and the wiues dutie is to keep the house The dutie of the husband is to get monie and prouision and of the wiues not vainly to spend it The dutie of the husband is to deale with many men and of the wiues to talk with few The dutie of the husband is to be entermedling and of the wife to be solitarie and withdrawne The dutie of the man is to bee skilfull in talke and of the wife to boast of silence The dutie of the husband is to be a giuer Spare in time and spend in time for sparing is a rich purse and of the wife to bee a sauer The dutie of the man is to apparell himselfe as he may and of the woman as it becommeth her The dutie of the husband is to be lord of all and of the wife to giue account of all The dutie of the husband is to dispatch all things without doore and of the wife to ouersee and giue order for all things within the house Now where the husband and wife performeth these duties in their house we may call it a Colledge of quietnes the house wherein these are neglected wee may terme it a hell It is to bee noted and noted againe that as the prouision of household dependeth onelie on the husband The honor of the Husband dependeth of the Wife euen so the honour of all dependeth onely of the woman in such sort that there is no honour within the house longer then a mans wife is honourable And therefore the Apostle calleth the woman 1. Cor. 11.7 The glorie of the man But here it must be noted and â—emembred that wee doe not intitle honourable to such as bee onely beautifull comely of face of gentilitie of comely personage and a good huswife but onely of her that is vertuous honest of life temperate and aduised in her speech 3. The last poynt is that the husband loue The third poynt cherish and nourish his wife euen as his owne bodie and as Christ loued his Church and gaue himselfe for to sanctifie it And this point is plainly proued by the Apostle Paul as is sufficiently declared in the second point There are few husbands or wiues that know in truth how they should loue one the other If a man loue his wife onely for these respects because she is rich beautifull noble or because she contenteth and pleaseth him after the sensuall appetite of the flesh and for such like causes that is no true loue before God for such loue may be among harlots and whores yea among brute beasts Cant. 4 9.10 1. Cor. 9.5 1. Pet. 3.7 But a christian husband must loue his wife chiefly because she is his sister in the profession of the sound and christian religion and so an inheritour with him of the kingdome of heauen And he must also loue her for her vertues as for her shamefastnesse modestie chastitie diligence patience faithfulnes temperance secrecie obedience such like christian qualities and graces of God yea although she be but hard fauored and of poorâ— parentage But as wee would that the man when he loueth should remeÌ„ber his maiestie so we would that when he ruleth he forget not his loue nor to temper it with maiestie And when he doth thinke himselfe to bee the head and the soule and the woman as it were the flesh and the bodie
hee ought in like maner to remember that she is his fellow and companion of his goods and labours and that their children bee common betweene them bone of bones and flesh of the flesh of man And thus there shall bee in wedlocke a certaine sweete and pleasant conuersation without the which it is no mariage but a prison a hatred and a perpetuall torment of the minde So that the husband must let his wife perceiue and know that for the good opinion that he hath of her he doth loue her simply and faithfully and not for any vtilitie or pleasure For who so doth not perceiue that he is beloued for his owne sake will not lightly doe the same to another for the thing that is loued loueth againe If mony or nobilitie could perceiue and vnderstand that they were beloued they would if they had any feeling at all of loue requite it with loue but when the soule is loued in as much as it may loue it giueth loue for loue and loueth againe The breaker of horses that doth â—se to ride and to pace them doth handle the rough and sturdie colt with all craft rigour and fiercenes that may be but with the colt that is more tractable he taketh not so great paine A sharpe and shrewd wife must bee pleased and mitigated with loue and ruled with maiestie and the more gently thou doest vse and shew thy selfe vnto her that is meeke and honest the more benigne and meeke thou shalt finde her But she that is noble and of a stout minde and stomacke the lesse thou doest looke to bee honoured the more she will obey and honour thee But yet the wise husband shall neuer set himselfe so farre in loue that he forget that he is a man the ruler and gouernour of the house and of his wife and that he is set as it were in a Station to watch and diligently to take heede what is done in his house and to see who goeth out and in 1. Cor. 11.3 Ephes 5.23 For although the husband by Gods ordinance bee the head ouer his wife yet hee may not abuse or despise her but must louingly defend and keepe her from all iniuries and all euils as his owne bodie For like as the head seeth and heareth for the whole bodie ruleth and guideth the bodie and giueth it strength of life or as Christ doth defend teach and preserue his Church and is the Sauiour comfort eye heart wisedome and guide thereof euen so must the husband bee head vnto his wife in like maner to shew her like kindnes and after the same fashion to guide her and rule her witâ— discretion for her good and preseruation and not with force and wilfulnesse to intreate her but to bee her defender instructor teacher and comfort So that when the husband hath obtained that his wife doth trulie and hartily loue him there shall then need neither precepts nor lawes for loue shall teach her moe things and more effectually then all the precepts of all the Philosophers Hee ought therefore to indeuour and more force himself that his wife may loue him then that she may feare him When his wife shall offend or displease him hee may not hate her or quarell with her but patiently and mildly admonish her Ephes 5.18.29 For no man yet euer hated saith the Apostle his owne bodie but cherisheth it and maketh much of it So then he that loueth his wife loueth himselfe for thereby hee enioyeth peace and comfort and helpe to himselfe in all his affaires therefore in the same verse Paul counselleth husbands to loue their wiues as their bodies And after in the 33. verse as though it were too little to loue them as their bodies hee sayth Leuit. 10.10 Let euery one loue his wife as himselfe that is as his body and soule too For if God commanded men to loue their neighbours as themselues much more are they bound to loue their wiues as themselues which are their next neighbours 1. Sam. 1.8 As Elkanah did not loue his wife lesse for her barrennesse â—ut sayd Am not I better vnto thee then ten sonnes As though he fauoured her more for that which she thought her selfe despised So a good husband will not take occasion to loue his wife lesse for her infirmities but comfort her more for them as this man did that shee may beare with his infirmities too Gal. 6.2 And so the one to helpe to beare the others burthen and so they shall the better fulfil the law of Christ For as in a citie there is nothing more vnequall theÌ„ that euery man should bee like equall so it is not conuenient that in one house euery man shuld be like and equall together There is no equality in that citie where the priuate man is equal with the Magistrate the people with the Senate or the seruants with the master but rather a confusion of all offices and authoritie The husband and the wife are Lords of the house Genes 1.28 Genes 2.18 vnto whom the Lord said Be ye Lords ouer the fish of the sea and ouer the fowle of the heauen and ouer euery beast that moueth vpon the earth And the selfe same Creator said that the woman should bee a helpe vnto the man Therefore the husband without any exception is master ouer all the house and hath as touching his familie more authoritie then a king in his kingdome The wife is ruler of all other things but yet vnder her husband There are certaine things in the house that onely doe appertaine to the authoritie of the husband wherwith it were a reproach for the wife withoâ—â— the consent of her husband to meddle withall as to receiue strangers or to marry their daughter But there are other things in the which the husband giueth ouer his right vnto his wife as to rule and gouerne her maidens to see to those things that belong vnto the kitchin and to huswiferie and to their household stuffe other meane things as to buy and sell certaine necessarie things may be ordered after the wit wisedome and fidelitie of the woman It cannot wel be rehearsed how many vtilities and profites the mutual concord and loue of man and wife doth bring to great things both at home and abroade nor how many losses and incommodities doo growe of the dissention and discorde betweene them For the housholde when their maister and their mistresse or dame are at debate can no otherwise bee in quiet and at rest then a cittie whose Rulers agree not but when it seeth them in concord and quietnesse then it reioyceth trusting that they wil be euen so vnto them as it perceiueth then to be among themselues wherein surely they are not deceiued for if the man and his wife doo louingly and gently support and intreate one an other they learne not to disdaine or for euerie light fault to be angrie with their seruants or yet for any household words to bee vexed or
angrie one with the other but to set aside all hastie and â—â—â—ell words and correction with all other thinges that issue and proceed of a disdainfull and a furious mind And the seruants are not onely merrie therefore but also they doo their seruice the more obediently and cheerefully shewing reuerence vnto the maiestie that proceedeth and increaseth of quietnesse and concord For the husband doth defend his wiues maiestie with loue and beneuolence and the wife her husbands with honour and obedience So that vnitie and concord causeth them to be esteemed wise honest and vertuous and they must needs bee good seeing they haue loued so long togither But there can bee no long amitie or friendship but betweene those that are good the which doo suffer and deuoure vp those things for the which other men leaue and forsake amitie and breake off charitie Neither doth there growe of any other thing so great reuerence and maiestie as of the opinion and estimation of another mans goodnesse and wisedome the which reuerence is not onely honoured within the doores but also shineth and extendeth it selfe into the cittie so that he is taken for an honest man and accounted to be louing and gentle seeing that hee loueth his wife so constantly and also he is reputed for a wise man considering that he can so moderately handle so difficult and hard matters and he is reckoned worthie to rule a common wealth that with such wisedome discretion and iudgâ—ment doth rule and gouerne his owne house and that he may easilie conserue and keepe his Citizens in peace and concord that hath so wel established the same in his owne house and familie And on the other side none will thinke or beleeue that he is able to be ruler or to keep peace and quietnesse in the towne or Cittie who cannot liue peaceably in his owne house where hee is not onely a ruler but a King and Lord of all And in matrimoniall debate and discord the man is more to bee blamed then is the woman because that hee being the chiefe Ruler and head doth not purge and remedie her of that vice the which ingendred that discord or else patiently beare suffer the same for the blame of al discord is commonly laid on him that is chiefe because he would not moderate nor stay the thing to come to such a strife â—nd discord or else because he was not able to do it In the first there appeareth manifest maâ—ice in the second impatience weaknesse the which ought to be far froÌ„ him that is esteemed â—o be most worthy appointed to rule gouerne others And thus he coÌ„meth into hatred â—or as much as he hath left off to do his duty and â—ffice wheÌ„ necessitie required it That husband â—hat loueth not his wife after that he hath enioiâ—d her for a season but doth wax feeble cold which is a thing most meet and conuenient for â—hose that are kindled with bodily lust lecheâ—ie who are very beasts and no men hauing no â—easoÌ„ but are drawn to those deeds through the â—otion of their sences the which after the heat â—e a little past will clean change their opinion Also there are other occasions The causes why the husband should loue his wife that should mooue the husband to extend this loue to his wife in case he be not duller then a stone As for â—â—at his wife hath suffered so great trauel and laâ—our that she hath borne and brought him forth children the heires of his name and substance and the vpholders of his familie and that shee hath forsaken her fathers goods and riches to follow him and to suffer with him both good and euill and that she setting her whole mind now vpon him knoweth no other father nor yet any of all her kinne What one thing shall suffice if these and others cannot do it who so will then obey nature humanitie and wisedome shall euery day loue his wife more and more And the better he knoweth her the more he will trust her and so open and disclose his loue and shew her greater signes and tokens of loue and beneuolence manifesting that to be borne and nourished through the experience of her vertue and through hope to be continued and kept that in time to come she may be like her selfe and striue to ouercome herselfe with vertue As the husband ought thus to loue his wife tenderly so from her as from a fountaine he must extend his loue also vnto her parents and kinsfolkes The husband must loue his wiues kinsfolkes to the end that they may well know and perceiue how greatly theâ— cousin doth aide and helpe them and that shee in like maner may vnderstand that his beneuolence and loue to her is such that it redoundeth among her frends and parents and of this he shall receiue no little profit at home And seeing he loueth his wiues kinsmen for her sake how much more ought he then to loue her children that she in like case may loue his if he haue any and thus the one seeing the mutuall loue of the other they shall knit and couple themselues in good and stedfast loue vnto their liues end The duties themselues which are ro bee performed of the husband and wife are eyther pertaining to pietie and godlinesse or else mutuall seuerall duties concerning the parties themselues for pietie and godlinesse 1. The first common dutie is praier that they pray together by theÌ„selues for as they are to pray with others in their families for thinges which concerne their houshold so there are certaine things which belonging to themselues are not to be mentioned in their families but priuately as namely for a godly posteritie and that in the birth the children be comely and not monstrous in comming foorth like monsters which might be a griefe vnto them or an occasion that the wicked should speake euill of the Gospell c. And further they are to pray that they may haue comfort by them in their well carriage and good behauour as likewise for their household and for diuers other affaires which they cannot so commodiously pray for in their publike families As Isaack and Rebecca besides the praiers in their house which they vsed with Abrahams familie did also pray together priuately as in Genes 25.21 it is saide Isaack praied before his wife for so the words signifie that they might haue children 2. A second dutie of pietie is that they admonish one another as the husband is to admonish the wife so also to teach her and the wife to admonish the husband and in her place admonishing bringing sufficient reason is to be heard For euen as the Maister is to counsell the seruant and likewise to heare the good counsell of his seruant as Naaman 2. King 5.13.14 heard his seruant which counselled him to wash in Jorden according to the saying of the Prophet So in like maner the husbands dutie is to counsell and to admonish his wife yet
and complaine that they can finde no loue in their wiues whose loue and amitie through their own crueltie and hard dealing they haue turned into hatred And whereas at the beginning they glorying and cracking thus cruelly to bee their wiues masters they haue now purchased vnto themselues a most miserable and lamentable life in time to come seeing now that all loue and pleasure is cast aside and compassed with feare and suspition hatred and sorrow Surely if a husband as nature reason and the holie Scripture doe witnesse bee the head ouer his wife and God their father there ought to bee betweene them such societie and fellowship yea and greater then is betweene the father and his sonne and not such as is betweene the master and the seruant And amongst many reasons that may bee vsed to perswade the husband and wife to liue together louingly quietly and christianly this is not the least namely that for as much as neither of them is certaine how long they shall liue together and then the partie that ouerliueth purposing to marrie againe and hauing been churlish froward c. with his former wife or she with her first husband which their so hard dealing one with the other before being knowne will no doubt be an occasion that they shall not speed match so well as otherwise they might if they had behaued themselues peaceably and dutifully in their first mariage What the dutie of a wife is towards her husband THis dutie is comprehended in these three points First that shee reuerence her husband Secondly that she submit her selfe and bee obedient vnto him And lastly that she doo not weare gorgeous apparell beyond her degree and place but her attire must bee comely and sober according to her calling The first point is prooued by the Apostles Peter and Paule 1. Pet. 3.1 Ephes 5.22 Col. 3.18 1. Cor. 7.3 whereby they set forth the wiues duties to their husbands commanding them to bee obedient vnto them although they be prophane and irreligious and that they ought to doe so much the more that by their honest life and conuersation they might win them to the obedience of the Lord. Now for so much as the Apostle would haue Christian wiues that are matched with vngodly husbands and such as are not yet good Christians to reuerence and obey them much more they should shew themselues thankful to God and willingly and dutifully performe this obedience and subiection when they are coupled in mariage with godlie wise discreete learned gentle louing quiet patient honest and thriftie husbands Wiues must be seruiceable and obedient vnto their husbands stand in a reuerend awe of them Ephes 5.33 And therefore they ought euermore to reuerence them and to endeuour with true obedience and loue to serue them to be loth in any wise to offend them yea rather to bee carefull and diligent to please them that their soule may blesse them And if at any time it shall happen that the wife shall anger or displease her husband by doing or speaking any thing that shall grieue him she ought neuer to rest vntill she hath pacified him and gotten his fauour againe And if he shal chance to blame her without a cause for that which she could not helpe or remedie which thing sometimes happeneth euen of the best men yet she must beare it patiently and giue him no vncomely or vnkinde words for it but euermore look vpon him with a louing and cheerfull countenance and so rather let her take the fault vpon her Chearefull in countenance then seeme to be displeased Let her be alway merie and cheerfull in his companie but yet not with too much lightnesse She must beware in any wise of swelling powting lowring or frowning for that is a token of a cruell and vnlouing heart except it bee in respect of sinne or in time of sicknesse She may not bee sorrowfull for any aduersitie that God sendeth but alwaies to be careful that nothing be spilt or go to waste through her negligence In any wise Genes 27.9 see that she bee quicke and cleanly about her husbands meate and drinke and to prepare him the same according to his diet in due season Let her shew her selfe in word and deede wise humble courteous gentle and louing towards her husband and also towards such as he doth loue and then shall she leade a blessed life Let her shew her selfe not onely to loue no man so well as her husband but also to loue none other at all but him vnlesse it bee for her husbands sake Genes 2.23 24 Matth. 19.5 1. Cor. 6.16 Ephes 5.31 Wherefore let the wife remember that as the Scripture reporteth she is one bodie with her husband so that shee ought to loue him none otherwise then her selfe How the Wife ought to behaue her selfe vnto her Husband for this is the greatest vertue of a maried woman this is the thing that wedlocke signifieth and commaundeth that the wife should reckon to haue her husband for both father mother brother and sister like as Adam was vnto Eue and as the most noble and chast woman Andromache said her husband Hector was vnto her Thou art vnto me both father and mother Mine owne deare husband and well beloued brother And if it be true that men doe say that friendship maketh one heart of two much more trulie and effectuallie ought wedlocke to doe the same which farre passeth al maner both friendship and kindred Therefore it is not sayd that mariage doth make one man or one minde or one bodie of two but cleerely one person wherefore matrimonie requireth a greater dutie of the husband towards his wife and the wife towards her husband then otherwise they are bound to shew to their parents The Apostle biddeth Rom. 12.15 to reioyce with them that reioyce and weepe with them that weepe With whom should the wife reioice rather then with her louing husband Or with whom should she weepe and mourne rather then with her owne flesh I will not leaue thee 2. King 21.5 saith Elisha to Eliah so she should say Gal. 6.2 I will neuer leaue him till death Beare one anothers burthen saith Paul Who shall beare one anothers burthen if the wife do not beare the husbands burthen Wicked Iezabel comforted her husband in his sicknesse 1. King 21.5 1. King 14.4 Genes 12.1 and Ieroboams wife sought for his health though she was as bad as he God did not bid Sarah leaue her father and countrie as he did bid her husband yet because he bad Abraham leaue his she left hers too shewing that she was content not onely to bee his play-fellow Genes 2.18 but his yoke-fellow too Beside a yoke-fellow she is called a Helper to helpe him in his labours to helpe him in his troubles to help him in his sicknesse like a woman phisition sometime with her strength sometime with her counsell 1. Cor. 1.27 for sometime
and wisedome vnto him As 1. Pet. 3.6 Ephes 5.33 Ester 1.1 2. c. 12. So that womē may not prouoke their husbands by disobedience in matters that may bee performed without offence to God neither to presume ouer him either in kindred or wealth or obstinately to refuse in a matter that may trouble household peace and quiet For disobedience begetteth contempt of the husband and cōtempt wrath and is many times the cause of troubles betweene the man and the wife If the obedience importeth any difficultie she may for her excuse gently propound the same yet vpon condition to obey in case the husband should persist in his intent so long as the discommoditie importeth no wickednesse For it is better to continue peace by obedience then to breake it by resistance And indeede it is naturall in the members to obey the conduct and gouernement of the head Yet must not this obedience so far extend as that the husband should command any thing contrary to her honour credit and saluation but as it is comely in the Lord Col. 3.18 Ephes 5.22 Therfore as it were a mōstrous matter and the means to ouerthrow the person that the body should in refusing all subiection obedience to the head take vpō it to guide it selfe and to commaund the head so were it for the wife to rebell against the husband Let her then beware of disordering and peruerting the course which God in his wisedome hath established and with all let her vnderstand that going about it she riseth not so much against her husband as against GOD and that it is her good and honor to obey God in her subiection obedience to her husband If in the practise of this dutie she finde any difficultie or trouble through the inconsiderate course of her husband or otherwise let her remember that the same proceedeth not of the order established by the Lorde but through some sin afterward crept in which hath mixed gall among the honie of the subiection and obedience that the womā should haue enioyed in that estate wherein together with Adam she was created after the image of God And so let her humble her selfe in the sight of God and be well assured that her subiection and obedience is acceptable vnto him Likewise that the more that the image of God is restored in her and her husband through the regeneration of the holie Ghost the lesse difficultie shall she finde in that subiection and obedience as many in their mariage haue in deede tried to their great contentment and consolation Further there is a certaine discretion and desire required of women to please the nature inclinations maners of their husbands so long as the same imports no wickednesse For as the looking-glasse howsoeuer faire and beautifully adorned is nothing woorth if it shew that countenance sad which is pleasant or the same pleasant that is sad so the woman deserueth no commendation that as it were contrarying her husband when he is merie sheweth her selfe sad or in his sadnesse vttereth her mirth for as men should obey the lawes of their cities so women the maners of their husbands To some women a becke of her husband is sufficient to declare that there is somewhat amisse that displeaseth him and specially if she beare her husband any reuerence For an honest matron hath no neede of any greater staffe but of one word or one sowre countenance Moreouer a modest and chaste woman that loueth her husband must also loue her house as remembring that the husband that loueth his wife cannot so well like of the sight of any tapestrie as to see his wife in his house For the woman that gaddeth from house to house to prate confoundeth her selfe her husband and familie Titus 2.5 But there are foure reasons why the woman is to goe abroad First to come to holie meetings according to the dutie of godlinesse The second to visit such as stand in neede as the dutie of loue and charitie doe require The third for employment and prouision in household affaires committed to her charge And lastly with her husband when hee shall require her The wife must keepe a good tongue Gen. 20.1 c. The euill and vnquiet life that some women haue and passe with their husbands is not so much for that they commit with and in their persons as it is for that they speake with their tongues When the wife doth holde her peace she keepeth the peace The cause of domesticall combats If the wife would keep silence when her husband beginneth to chide he should not haue so vnquiet dinners neither she the woorse supper which surely is not so for at the same time that the husband beginneth to vtter his griefe the wife then beginneth to scold and chafe wherof doth follow that now then most vnnaturally they come to handy gripes more beastlike thē christianlike which their so doing is both a great shame Silence becommeth a woman and a foule discredit to them both The best meanes therefore that a wife can vse to obtaine and maintaine the loue and good liking of her husband is to bee silent obedient peaceable patient studious to appease his choler if he bee angrie painfull and diligent in looking to her businesse Lacke of knowledge of Gods word is the principall cause why wiues doe not their dutie to their husbands to be solitarie and honest The chiefe and speciall cause why most women do faile in not performing this dutie to their husbands is because they be ignorant of the word of God which teacheth the same and all other duties and therefore their soules and consciences not being brought into subiection to God and his word they can neuer vntill then yeeld and performe true subiection and obedience to their husbands and behaue themselues so euery way as christian wiues are in dutie bound to doe But if wiues bee not so dutitiful seruiceable and subiect to their husbands as in conscience they ought the onely cause thereof for the most part is through the want and neglect of the wise discreet and good gouernment that should be in the husbands besides the want of good example that they shuld giue vnto their wiues both in word and deede One heart and one will For as the common saying is Such a husband such a wife a good Iacke maketh a good Gill. For so much as mariage maketh of two persons one How the loue faithfulnesse and dutie of maried folkes may be kept and increased therefore the loue of the husband and wife may the better bee kept and increased and so continued if they remember the duties last spoken of as also not forget these three points following 1. They must be of one heart will and mind and neither to vpbraide or cast the other in the teeth with their wants and imperfections any waies or to pride themselues in their gifts but rather the one to endeuour to supplie the others wants that
slaunder of their profession Temperance in apparrell And let them not so much regarde what thing they would faine haue but rather what they cannot well bee without so that whatsoeuer they haue no need of is too deare of a farthing The dutie of Parents towards their children This dutie containeth foure poyntes namely in teaching or instructing them in religion in manners good example of life and skill of an occupation THis dutie consisteth vppon foure points First that fathers and mothers do instruct and bring vp their children euen from the cradle in the feare and nurture of the Lord. Secondly that they bring them vp in shamefastnesse hatred of vice and loue of all vertue Thirdly that they be vnto their children examples of all godlines and vertuousnes Fourthly that they keep them from idlenes the mother of all mischiefes and bring them vp either in learning or in some good Art or Occupation whereby they may get their liuing with honestie and trueth when they shall come to age and yeares of discretion The first point 1. Touching the first point Parents are to be admonished that they beare in minde that the cause why the Lord hath blessed them with children is first that they should be carefull to see that their children be so vertuously brought vp that they may become citizens of the church of God so that whensoeuer they themselues shall dye in the Lord they may leaue their children true worshippers of God in their place but alas there bee few that haue any great care of this dutie It is to bee remembred The children of Christians ought not to be called by any popish name Dan. 1.7 that it is the fathers dutie with all conuenient speede to present the childe to baptisme and there to giue the name vnto his child as may appeare by the example of Iacob and Zacharias Genes 35.18 4.25.26 Luk. 1.63 Genes 16.15 21.3 And it is a thing worthie to bee wished that all parents when and at such time as God blesseth them hauing any childrē borne that then they would giue them such names as are named and commended vnto vs in the holie Scriptures to the end that when they come to yeares of discretion they by hearing those names may be excited and moued to follow the vertuous life and christian conuersation of those men and women whose names they beare which the holie Ghost hath commended them for and contrariwise to eschue and auoide those faults and vices which are discommended in them We are neither better nor worse in respect of our names Iosua 10.3 The name profiteth none in whom vertue is not commended And yet wee haue to remember that as those children which are named and called by and after any of the names of Patriarkes Prophets Apostles or by the name of any other Saint man or woman are not any thing the better because they haue such godly christian names vnlesse that they doe imitate and follow them in faith vertue and godly behauiour so on the other side they that bee not called by such christian names as are mentioned in the sacred Scripture are not in respect of their names any thing the worse hauing an assured faith in the merits of Christ his death passion and bloudshedding and leading their liues agreeable to the same For as neither the yearely reuenues nor the glorious titles and names of ancestors and to descend of noble parentage maketh mē noble and renowned in deed vnles they themselues be godly honest and wise so neither the godly names no nor yet the faith and vertue of the fathers auaileth the wicked and vngodlie children any thing at all vnlesse they repent and become faithfull and godly as they were Let vs here consider that so often as in the race of our life wee doe heare or doe speake of our name it doth put vs in remembrance first of Gods mercie shewed vnto vs in our baptisme secondly of our promise to God againe And as in times amongst our ancestors Luk. 1.59 and 2.21 Proper names are also giuen vnto vs for this vse and end that is to distinguish betwixt man and man Infants had their names giuen them when they were circumcised as appeareth in Luke no doubt to this end that the circumcised should be admonished by the calling by their names at what time and place they had their names giuen thē and should thinke that they are written in the number of the children of God and ioyned in league with him and made partakers of the couenant so likewise after the same maner must we that haue had our names giuen vs in baptisme remember beare in mind that we are by grace adopted to be the sons of God and receiued into his fauour and therfore that we are Gods own and as it were his goods and riches as who beare his name as proper vnto him 2. Secondly they must assure themselues that all their labour is lost which they bestow vpon their children vnlesse they bring them vp in the feare of God and oftentimes call vpon Gods helpe by earnest prayer that he in mercie would vouchsafe to preserue them from the manifold snares subtilties and temptations of Sathan which their tender age is subiect vnto We may heare many parents complaine of the disobedience of their children but they do not marke consider that they are iustly punished by God for that they thinke by their owne industrie and wit to make them good and vertuous without Gods blessing which they seldome or neuer call for in good earnest 3. Thirdly let them consider how noble a thing a child is whom God himselfe hath shaped and formed in his mothers wombe nourished brought foorth into the light and indued with bodie and soule to the end he should as it were in a table represent God his first paterne Instructing correcting and praying make good children and happie Parents 4. Fourthly let them know that these things are to be dealt withall in order Vnto the bodie nourishment bringing vp apparell and sometime correction that they may keepe their children in awe 1. King 2.2 3. Genes 34.30 Iohn 1.5 Vnto the soule they owe catechising instruction and doctrine and that of two sorts namely of godlinesse and of ciuilitie By the one they shall keepe a good conscience before God By the other they shall obtaine a good report among men For these are the two principall points which parents ought to bee most carefull to plant in this life in their children both which the Apostle comprehendeth in one verse where he saith Ephes 6.1 Ye fathers prouoke not your children to wrath but bring them vp in instruction and information of the Lord. And therefore all parents are diligently to instruct and teach their children the first principles of Christ his religion so soone as by age they are able to perceiue and vnderstand the same that they may as it were suck in godlinesse together with their
for an example that they went vp euery yeare with all their families to worship at Ierusalem that their children their seruants might learne to know God as well as they These examples bee written for householders as others are for Magistrates Ministers and Souldiers that no calling might seeke further then the Scriptures for instruction Wherfore as you are masters now and they your seruants instruct them and traine them as if you would shew what masters your seruants shuld be hereafter Next vnto seruants labours and instruction must bee considered their corrections As Paul saith Ephes 6.4 Fathers prouoke not your childrē to wrath so we may say Masters and Mistresses prouoke not your seruants to wrath that is vse such reproofes and such corrections that you doe not prouoke them but moue them that you do not exasperate them but win them for reuiling reprochfull words and immoderate fiercenes doth much more hurt then good And therfore the law of God did charge the master that hee should not inflict aboue fortie stripes vpon his seruant Deut. 25.2.3 least hee should seeme despised in his eyes For while a childe or scholler or seruant doth thinke that he is reproued for loue or beaten with reason it makes him think of his fault and is ashamed but when hee seeth that he is rebuked with curses and beaten with staues as though he were hated like a dogge his heart is hardned against the mā which correcteth him and the fault for the which he is corrected and after hee becommeth desperate like a horse which turneth vpon the striker and therefore let masters know that God euen then chides them whensoeuer they fight or chide in such rage For though there bee a fault yet some things must be dissembled and winked at and some things must bee forgiuen and some punished with a looke for he which takes the forfeit of euery offence shall neuer be in any rest but vexe himselfe more then his seruant But aboue all we thinke the charitie and tender affection of masters Masters ought to haue a tender care of their seruants in their sicknesse and loue of seruants to their fellowes in their sicknesse is especially to be vsed and shewed at which time the sick are to bee seuerally lodged from the whole and to be cherished and nourished with more choise and daintie meate For the performance care of this dutie Matth. 8.5.6 Luk. 7.1 the Centurion is commended in the Gospell which dutie very vnchristianly is neglected of many masters The master of the house should not disdaine or shew himselfe so scornfull or vnkinde as not to visit his sicke seruant for if brute beasts reioyce to see their masters cherish feed them as we may daily see in dogs how much more may we beleeue that men reasonable creatures are much delighted and comforted therewith Whereupon it comes to passe that good and faithfull seruants liking and affecting of their masters vnderstand them at a becke and obey them at a winke of the eye or bent of the brow not as a water-spaniell but as the hand is sturred to obey the mind so prompt and readie is the dutifull seruant to obey his louing and kind master For as the hand is said to bee the instrument of instrumēts being it indeed that serues to feed apparell and keep cleane the rest of the limmes and parts of the body which are also called instruments so is the seruant said to be an instrument of instruments because he keepeth all the instruments of household occupied not only to liue but to liue well wherein he differeth from all the other instruments For where they are things without soule hee is diuinely enriched with a soule and herein differeth from the hand for that the hand is fastned vnited to the bodie but hee is separate and disioyned from his master and is also different from Artificers for Artificers are instrumēts of those things which properly they call workmanship but the seruant is instrument of the action which also is distinguished from workmanship So that the seruant if you will rightly vnderstand him is a liuely and seuerall instrument of action It is very meete and conuenient that the Mistresse or Dame The wiues behauiour with seruants doe not make her selfe too familiar with her seruāts or household folks least they should be too bold to talke to ieast or vnreuerently and vnmannerly to behaue themselues towards her and so modestly and wisely to beare her selfe among her seruants that they may feare reuerence and so stand in awe of her as the Mistresse and mother of the house And as it is not comely or beseeming The master must correct his men and the mistresse her maides that the wife should take vpon her to rule correct the men-seruants so likewise it is not comelie or meet that the husband should meddle with the punishing or chastising of the maid-seruants so that it is most meete and acceptable to the offender that the master should correct the men and the mistresse her maides for a mans nature scorneth and disdaineth to be be beaten of a woman and a maides nature is corrupted with the stripes of a man Therefore we reade that Abrahā would not meddle with his maid but committed her to his wife and said Doe with her as it pleaseth thee As if he should say It belongeth not to me but to thee And these are the duties which masters must performe in their life time All which must be shut vp with setting order for all things at their death with especiall exhortations and prayers for religion for vprightnesse in their callings for peace and order after them according to the example of Hezechiah Dauid and of Iacob and of Ioseph Esay 38.1 1. King 2.12 and Gen. 47.29.30 and 49.29 So that it is the dutie of Christian masters to haue a care not onely that their families bee well and christianly gouerned while they liue but also that after their death loue peace quietnes and good order may bee continued in their posteritie The Seruants dutie towards their Masters A seruant is he that hath a master and is not his own man or els he that is at the becke and commandement of an other Rom. 6.16 2. Pet. 2.19 Ioh. 8.34 THis dutie consisteth on 3. poynts First that seruants and prentices doe from their hearts cheerefully and willingly performe the labors and workes that their masters mistresses or dames shall commaund them 2. Secondly that they be faithfull in things committed to them by their masters mistresses and dames that so they may keep their goods 3. Thirdly that they bee carefull to obserue the vprightnes of maners that the wife the sons and daughters or other fellow seruants be not corrupted by their bad counsels or lewd behauiour Eph. 6.5.6.7.8 Colos 3.22.23.24 Tit. 2.9.10 1. Pet. 2.18.19.20.21 These points are plainly proued by these places of Scripture quoted in the margine whereby seruants